For a Two Year old, its normal! Feeling develop at different rates. Relationships happen according to the child’s timing, not the adults…but adults should give plenty of opportunities for them to come with open arms.
We live in another state and our son doesn’t get to see his grandparents all that often. They all respect his boundaries and understand they are very small and easily frightened/upset. Don’t feel bad that your child is developing, just take it at his pace.
1 Like
If he doesn’t want to hug, what about fist bump or special handshake? To make a child “be affectionate” when they don’t want to only teaches them not to trust their own instincts.
6 Likes
Can’t feel bad, he feels like that for a reason. Either he isn’t very familiar with them or he isn’t comfortable with being affectionate with them for whatever reason.
His feelings are valid and it’s his body, his choice. It may change as he gets older and if not, that’s okay too
7 Likes
Get him excited before you arrive. We are going to see grandma and grandpa. Let him decide when hes ready to hug.
1 Like
I have a granddaughter with anxiety issues that refused to hug her grandfather, he never pushed her, he would patiently stand and wave saying come see me again. That went on for about a year. Now she will allow him to hug her but she doesn’t hug back yet. He lets her decide what’s allowable. But, she loves her Pop and will ask for him when she’s with us. I hope they understand his/her standoffishness and will let them grow into the hug. It will happen, might be brief though.
1 Like
When they want to. I think they tend to reflect what they get.
SAD, I think they get this from one of there parents
Always trust your children’s mood/attitude/feelings.
1 Like
Leave it alone. He doesn’t owe anyone affection. he may come around as he gets older.
1 Like
Let it be. Forcing children to be affectionate doesn’t make them more affectionate and can teach them that bodily autonomy is not important.
27 Likes
Please don’t ever force children to be affectionate. As a child, I was forced to hug and kiss the great aunt’s and great uncles including the one that molested me. Children should be able to control with who they will be affectionate.
9 Likes
Totally normal for a 2 year old.
Allow him the chance to say no and have his own space if you give him this you’ll find in his own time he may open up to them or he may not.
8 Likes
My advice is try to figure out why he doesn’t like them. Kids don’t shy away from people for no reason. Granted, the reason could be ridiculous, but it’s valid to him. Also encourage them to bring treats every visit (he gets the treats whether they get affection or not) and encourage parallel play.
Leave him be. He will show affection if and when he wants too. Nobody should force kisses or hugs on anybody. That includes little children.
19 Likes
Proper way to teach your kids about consent is respecting their consent. If he doesn’t want to be affectionate, don’t make him. However, this doesn’t mean he should be rude either. So teach him to do it in a respectful way.
5 Likes
This is my opinion on physical affection and our kids. Their body their choice. You force them then you teach them to allow others to be inappropriate with them and you confused the message of bad touch as well as you are teaching them to ignore others when they say NO
1 Like
Let them push and don’t guilt your kid into giving affection. I never made my kids hug and kiss. I always said “say your goodbyes.” Some times it was a wave at the door or a fist bump. Whatever their comfortable with because it’s important to teach them they are in control of their own bodies and space. Adults can’t come into their space just because the adult wants to
8 Likes
My kids are close with my parents, their mimi and bumpa, but they are not with their fathers parents…both of which have pretty much nothing to do with them nor anyone in our family. My kids know that they don’t have to give hugs or accept hugs. Granted, my kids are 15 and 10 for our daughters and our son is almost 8. But when they were little, I made it clear to everyone that they are not to just try abd hug the kids, they need to ask…Do not force the issue. If your son doesn’t want to be near them, or hug them, don’t push it. And make it clear with his grandparents that if he doesn’t want a hug or be affectionate, that they need to respect that. Teach your son that it’s ok to have boundaries, that it’s ok to not want or give affection to those that he doesn’t wish. It is important that children have body autonomy and that they don’t have to touch or be touched by anyone. Let him make that choice.
1 Like
Don’t pressure him. Just let him know his grandparents come to visit and ask him to say hello. If he doesn’t, let him be.
Mine forced me to be affectionate and it makes knowing how and enforcing the very idea of boundaries very hard and beagle to me. The issue is NOT necessarily between the child and any other. Let it be please
Don’t force it. I have 5 grandchildren and some did the same thing. Now they can’t give me enough hugs. Really tight ones too. 
9 Likes
It’s the age. At 2 kids have very few things they can control and this is one of them. My daughter does this in waves, she’ll be 3 in 3 weeks. Does he see them often? That can also come into play. But never force it. I’ve always said they must say hello and goodbye but I’d never force her to hug/touch.
5 Likes
It’s the child’s human right to have boundaries and it is our obligation to let them have boundaries.
5 Likes
Leave him alone I’m sure the grandparents will understand hell come round on his own time
My middle grandson hugged me but not as much as the oldest. I never presure him into it. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t. I let him decide. Every child is different. We as grandparents should understand and never force. It will happen and it will be great
1 Like
You people are the type who stop the world from going around. No wonder the world is coming off its axis!!!
3 Likes
Mine is 13 and pushes hers away…so sad
It might help if they brought over toys like for example he’s into matchbox cars so they pick up a track next time they visit and a car for him then a car for themselves. Tell him you want to build a track and play cars.
It may not be hugs and kisses but doing stuff like that will allow them to relate on his level and start bonding
1 Like
Are you affectionate with your parents? If you ate they will be eventually! Wait and they will be !
Even as a child you don’t owe anyone affection. Why don’t people understand that?
Have them just quietly hang out near him while he plays.
Sharing experiences will develop connections & also be sure he sees you hugging and being near them
No pushing affection on children, even with family members
4 Likes
NEVER force a child to be affectionate with someone he/she doesn’t want to. Allow him to say no. Have the grandparents tell him they love him and let them leave.
1 Like
Some kids arn’t lovey dovey forcing it is not a good idea sends the wrong message about body privicy
Grandparents might want to bring presents. Works
2 Likes
Maybe pick a way for him he likes to show affection, maybe he makes pictures for them or reads to them. There are a lot of ways to show affection.
Sometimes kids, just like Adults don’t want to be smothered… Give him time.let him show his affection when he’s ready.
Well apparently its bc the child doesn’t know them as well as they should. My grandson actually cries when I drop him back off at his parents and he just turned 2 yrs old in April
You respect their autonomy.
I was forced to kiss and hug aunt’s and uncles, got pulled up on laps, had my hair ( shirley temple curls) constantly touched.
I taught my son to throw hugs and kisses. It worked well during Covid.
My kid is affectionate but his Drama ( MiL) smothers him so much my six year old comes home smelling like her white diamond perfume.
I hate it.
Forcing it would be just as bad, if not worse.
It’s not personal, let them be themselves.
Respect his bodily autonomy.
Covid changed everything
1 Like
I hear Biden is teaching a class on this. 
3 Likes
One of my great grandson was a preemie and his personality is awesome even though he doesn’t cling or snuggle with most family. He does however give high fives, fist bumps, throws kisses and if he loves you he tells you, he has moods to be alone sometime but loves playing with his cousin and they are best friends, he weighed in at 1 lb. 10 oz. and is now an awesome 5 year old and his best friend( cousin) is 4.
I also have 12 more greatgrands and they’re all awesome young people.
Give your child time and don’t force hugs or kisses.
Its a stage many go through at different ages. Let it be. They should be allowed to move in their comfort and space with others, including grandparents. Grandparents should be friendly and attentive but not push physical affection.
20 Likes
Let him move at his own pace. Grandparents are adults and can control their affection. Little ones need to find their way with their parents help.
1 Like
Don’t push it, my grandson didn’t want anyone close to him till he was around 6, just talk to him when he’s in the room, say hi, when he leaves tell him good bye and you love him, some children just aren’t into hugging, don’t force him, be pleasant , don’t say things like why don’t you give me a hug or kiss, let him be.in his time.
34 Likes
Do not force a child to be affectionate He may have a degree of Autism. He needs to give affection On his terms.
1 Like
My grandparents were very involved in our lives as I am with my grandchildren. From day 1 and I think that makes all of the difference. I have never forced them to give hugs and kisses but always tell them that I love them. They run to me with open arms when they see me and that is one of my biggest joys! Even the teenager still does it 
my advice is just be there for them and let them know how much love and joy they bring.
29 Likes
I was super close with certain family members and not with others. I was always pushed but even as a 2 year old I pushed back. We have it on video me sticking my tongue out at my great grandmother, she did it right back to me and passed away when I was 9. We were actually pretty close when I was very little but she knew that I was a kid and I was a person in my own right and never pushed unlike others. My grandmother gives a hug to anyone that wants one when they go to her house and its rare you leave without one.
Have them totally ignore him. He is testing his freedom. But if he does this with most people, have him checked for autism. I have a niece that doesnt like people touching her. If she comes to you it is OK. Otherwise do not force yourself on her. She comes in her own time.
1 Like
I think some children will be more affectionate towards their grandparents if they see that their own parents are affectionate to each other and their parents.
I never liked hugging my grandmother or aunts. I really didn’t see my parents hug that much in public and my mom didn’t really hug her mother in public much either.
Now my mothers two sisters were really big into hugging and I did my best to avoid it.
I will say that I do wish my family had been a little bit more affectionate because it was very hard for me to become affectionate towards my stepchildren later on. But it took time for me to do it
4 Likes
Roll with it. All kids are different, it is their body, it should be their boundaries. Forcing it could backfire.
4 Likes
Let him. Don’t force a child to be affectionate with anyone they don’t want to.
2 Likes
If he’s not comfortable don’t force it. My daughter had terrible things happen from 5 yrs old til 9yrs old from her godfather I always adored how sweet he was with her but she began to act out. He threatened her that he would kille and her dad if she told. She finally told we went to trial he got 20 yrs. I’m not saying this is what happened during therapy I was told if a child is not comfortable don’t force the issue it may be nothing. Instead just back your child up and explain kids are funny at that age. If they don’t spend lots of time he may feel as if there and intrusion or strange. Goodluck hope he’s doing well
30 Likes
So many of these comments break my heart! Shame on you! Some grandparents may not be around to see their grandkids grow up. If the grandparents are good loving people and make an effort to part of their lives, as a parent you need to make an effort to have your child be part of their life. It’s so easy to just let it go and not deal with it but guess what YOU WILL BE THERE SOMEDAY! What goes around comes around! I have wonderful memories of my grandparents and I loved going to their house, I loved my grandma’s cooking and I miss my grandma spending the weekends with us.
3 Likes
Let the child go to them on their own time frame and don’t be offended if it takes a while , feelings have to evolve in all kinds of situations and if you force a child to do something, it only makes them resist even more . The older they get the more they understand , so bottom line give them time
6 Likes
My youngest daughter is not a lovey girl. She doesn’t like hugs or cuddles unless it’s on her terms, and usually only with me, daddy, or her older sister. She’s 10 years old now and is still the same way. She adores her grandparents and her friends and other family members, just isn’t into being physically close to people. It’s fine. Don’t force it.
5 Likes
I have a great grandson that is not a people person at all. When he does interact it’s on his terms. I never forced him as that would be as upsetting for both of us. When I went to visit in January he came up to me my last evening and asked if I would stay longer. I was very surprised. I went for another visit in March, not only did he talk my ear off but hugged me (all on his own). He just turned 7 and still doesn’t speak to most people. They come around when they are ready. Hopefully the grandparents are understanding
1 Like
All my grandkids are very affectionate. Maybe he’s uncomfortable because they’re not loving towards him! Kids can tell. Or he doesn’t see them often enough so they feel like strangers every time
That’s a typical age for kids to react this way…don’t push it, before long grandma and grandpa will be it and they won’t want to leave😉
10 Likes
Why? Do they get pushy, make him uncomfortable with their type of affection, smell bad, or does he simply not see them often enough so that to him they are strangers. We have 3 families of (sort of) grands from an earlier relationship (15 years long). The 2 oldest kids seem to have no interest in us. One family of kids don’t seem to know or care who we are. The 3rd family has always shared our pictures and talked about us so the kids know who we are. I take gifts for all 10 kids every time I visit and the kids in the last family send thank you notes. Unless I see the others, I do not even know if they received them. So the parents can help tremendously in helping to form a relationship between their children and the grands. If your attitude is blah or you speak ill of those grands, know that your children will pick up on your attitude. Better not to force it as may cause resentment toward them. Good luck.
5 Likes
Our youngest Grandson has never been a hugger. So we did high fives. We know he loves us to pieces and tells us he loves us all the time but he just never like hugs and kisses. He’s almost 10 now and is getting more comfortable (probably cause his cousin who us 3 months younger always hugs him 
). Just let him set the pace. Try the high fives and see how that goes.
2 Likes
It happens…possibly a phase. My youngest was just like that. He would never hug his grandparents. I asked if he could but still didnt. I left it at that. I didnt force. I knew he would come around and he did. Hes 5 now and does it without any trouble. Just give it time.
1 Like
I have been blessed with 2 granddaughters and 2 grandsons. The girls are very affectionate and always have been. My oldest grandson almost 4 has decided no more kisses, which is fine. So now we blow kisses to each other. I still hear the I love you 's though. Ive never pushed it on any of them, I follow their lead.
2 Likes
Sometimes you just have to give them a little time. The child will figure it out and all will be fine. I wouldn’t push it too hard, just let the child work it out for themselves. My two year old grandson wasn’t close to me either, but it has changed now and all is well.
3 Likes
I watched my young grandson regularly when his parents worked. He refused to sit by me when we met them at a restaurant because he thought I was going to take him away from his parents. He outgrew it.
2 Likes
It also has alot to do with how you feel about the grandparents. If you are loving and affectionate with them, kids will sense that, if you have a cold attitude toward them, the children will follow suit.
2 Likes
Sometimes it’s the way the parents are toward the grandparents and things said about the grandparents that makes the children react in a negative way.
1 Like
They should just keep smiling and not try to force it. Do you keep their photos at home and talk about them between visits?
4 Likes
I agree don’t push it. How often do they see him and are around him? It’ll happen just let him be if they aren’t seeing him very much and they need to be more attentive to him and he’ll warm up to them when he’s ready. They’ve had children so they must understand how children are just don’t naturally gravitate just because you’re related. It’ll be fine
1 Like
Don’t force it! He’ll warm up to them when he’s ready. Let the grandparents give him a hug when they come and go and eventually he’ll get the idea!
1 Like
You need to find out why and what he’s afraid of, it’s obviously something.
3 Likes
Does he not see them very much? We are going through the same thing with our 18 month old grandson. We didn’t see him much during our isolation so now he is wary of us. Don’t force it. He will come around.
1 Like
I assume your kid doesnt see them often so you cant be mad that the kid doesnt run to them. I wouldn’t be affectionate towards people I didn’t see regularly either
1 Like
Do they wear some kind of perfume or cologne that he may be reacting to? But other than that, don’t force it, let him do it on his own. Otherwise you’re just teaching him he has no control over his body which would have a negative effect on his life.
2 Likes
One of my granddaughters stand off with us just give it time they come around
1 Like
My daughter has never been big on hugs and does not like kisses. She never has. She is almost 12 now and her and her papa have their own fist bump with a silly sound. Her Grammy holds both of her hands and they join hands. Her other Grandpa wraps his arm around her shoulder and gives a little squeeze. They all developed their own ways of showing affection to one another. Let you child do what comes naturally.
Some small children are overwhelmed by groups…noise and constand hugs and kisses…they may grow out of it but some dont…its also a sign of being on the spectrum…and of autism…so be patient and supportive…that will help them a lot
My kids were affectionate with both sets of grandparents. They saw their grandparents 2-3 times a month or more. I feel that made a huge difference with small kids.
My youngest grandson is like that but we don’t push him to come to us. Usually before long he comes & climbs up on the couch with me or his granddaddy and sits close or lays against us. That’s his way of showing us affection. My mother said I was this way as a toddler
Don’t force it I know you may feel bad for the grandparents but you have to teach your child it’s their body and they have the right to say no to unwanted affection
If he’s not comfortable then let him be. When he chooses that he’s comfy with them then he will start to show affection when he’s ready.
My great granddaughter did this. I didn’t push her just let her set the pace. Now at age 2and a half she comes running at me with arms wide open.
Some of my grandkids are affectionate and some are not. I don’t push them to affectionate, I leave up to them. They know I love them anyway they are.
I have one grand child that hates hugs and kisses. She shows love by spending time with you. If she does not like you you know it by the looks she gives. She is 6 and is learning about facial expressions. Figure yout your childs love language and then explain it to the grandparents.
1 Like
Some kids just don’t want to be hugged, and as difficult as it is for grandparents to accept it, I’m not too sure that it’s good for the child to force the situation. I have one grandson on the autism spectrum who is the best hugger in the world; another never did want to be hugged, so we just didn’t do it. Hopefully Gma and Gpa can find other ways to have a friendship with your 2 yr old and maybe hugs will come along some day. Maybe not, but 2 yr olds are not famous for tolerance of things they don’t want to do.
Definitely don’t push it. There’s a reason he isn’t being affectionate with them. See if you can find out why he isn’t being affectionate with them.
- allow your child to decide what is appropriate for themselves. Forcing affection sets the child up for possible manipulation , or worse. You can insist that he says good bye or hello but not hugs kisses etc. children need to feel empowered to say not to what’s uncomfortable to them regardless of who it is.
My parent shave been watching my daughter since she was 8 weeks old. But with Covid we had to stop going over. Now that we are back to visiting she was unsure right at first. My parents just loved on her like they always have and she came around.
I feel if your a Grandparent and the kids are not wanting to hug you are sit by you something is wrong and they since that ,you should not push your kids to be with them are hug them until they are ready, I’m a grandparent and great grandparent my grandchildren always want to come to nana and even my great granddaughter always want to come to my house,something is really wrong if they are not wanting to be around them
Really depends on the child and how often they have been around their grandparents.
I have three grandchildren and two of them are in the states and 1 is only 6months old living in Germany for the next three years.
I have been around her a total of 20 days in her 6 months of life.
However my daughter facetimes me and my husband every other day just so we can see each other.
Some children are just shy around other people that they may not interact with daily.
Don’t force it. That’s the worst thing to do. Talk about them in a positive light and let them form a bond naturally.
1 Like
Dont push him and the adults should be grown up enough not to take it personally.
1 Like
Let the child decide on their terms,what they want from an adult…Never force affection on them or from them…Not all children like to be hugged on or kissed on…
Do your parents smoke? My daughter would not go willing to my Dad when she was real little because he smelled of cigarettes. Neither my husband or myself smoke.
I was this way and my middle son is like this too. My oldest and youngest will give hugs and kisses. Its best not to make them do anything they dont want to do. So if my middle son gives a hi or a wave from 20 ft back my mom is ok with it and leaves it alone. I had severe anxiety as a child and my mom never forced it on me either.
Maybe he doesn’t see them enough? Or it’s just a phase. 2 year olds do tend to stick to mommy only a lot for while. I’m sure it’ll be better in a bit.