Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. At the risk of being bashed I am going to make a statement/ask a question
Cringe 
The most judgemental thing I have ever read, husbands leave too.
You seriously allowed this judgey, bs question through? 
Simple. Not everyone wants to be married.
Not everyone wants to be married
Thereās no point in even responding to this 
You really think a ring is gonna make someone act right? bc isnāt 100% effective and husbands can be uninvolved parents too lol.
Not everyone wants or needs to get married, we actually have a choice
Damnā¦should have thought of that. I forgot husbands couldnāt leave! Son of a bitch I feel like such a dumbass now. 
Its 2022 women can want the joy of kids without Being married. Marriage today is not what it use to be you can even still be in a relationship with out marriage. Doesnāt mean the kids dont have a dadā¦good lord
i am married.
however- marriage doesnāt mean shit. you donāt have to be married to have babies. and no you shouldnāt HAVE to be married to have babies.
Fathers still have legal responsibilities even without being married. my son came from a previous relationship where i wasnāt married.
stop be judgmental and have the day you deserve 
Lol. Wow. So youāre implying that in order to successfully, happily, raise a child or children you must be married?
That is absurd.
Youāre views are clearly outdated and you grew up in the wrong decade.
Some women donāt need a man to be a good mom.
Because marriages donāt always work, even when kids are involved. Doesnāt matter if youāre married or not, a man or even a women will stick around because they want to. A piece of paper doesnāt determine how someone will parent.
Guess what you let alone no one owns someoneās bodyā¦ so take youāre judgmental ass and sit down
Wtf is this post? I personally have no desire to get married to my childās father who is also my boyfriend. Marriage isnāt important to me and may not be important to others as well. You are coming off extremely judgmental and itās gross
Iām married to the father of both of my kids, but not everyone wants to get married and thatās okay. At least when they split they donāt have to worry about legally having to go get something stating they are no longer together/married. Just my opinion.
What did i just readš„“
A marriage doesnāt save or continue a relationship. Ppl still leave like itās nothing in a marriage.
Wtf hahaha! Girl, what is this 1950!?
I am not married but have been with the daddy of my 3 girls 11 years. Marriage doesnāt define a relationship or whether or not you should have children. Marriages end too.
Marriage means nothing like it did 50 yrs ago
I would love my daughters to be married before having children however I would never judge them or make them feel bad if it didnāt happen. While, I agree, women should make better choices on who we reproduce with sometimes, marriage and a ring doesnāt determine how the relationship will work out. Married people become single parents alllllll the time.
Your statement screams āKarenā. Do you have kids? I hope you end up a single mom someday. We come from many walks of life and are each so very different. That means everyone of our situation is unique and different and donāt need to be explained to anyone, particularly a judgemental person like you. You need to crawl back from under the rock you came from.
Because not everyone believes you need to be married to show you are committed to eachother.
I have 3 kids (ALLSAMEdad) not married nor together anymore but still raise our kids.Shame on you for assuming g people need to be married. I donāt ever want to be married. I donāt need paper to tell me Iām lovedā:joy: marriages fail everyday
āPlease be civilā as if you didnāt just bash an entire group of people because you ādonāt understandā their choiceš¤¦š¼āāļø
I have friends who get pregnant by each relationship theyāre in and have 3 or 4 kids. I donāt get it myself personally. I donāt like my one childās father, why would I want to deal with more?! I already hate people.
. We got married when we wanted to 
Waited til our girls were 8 and 9, got married, then had 2 more kids. It worked for us. Thereās no set timeline for how things should be done
Seriously married life isnāt for everyone me personally I am very independent it just wouldnāt work.
I watched my mother endure a lot of abuse from her husband/my father when they were married. Now she is unmarried and has 2 more children with a man she loves and who loves her better than her husband ever did. I have 2 children and am not married but am with my childrenās father. Donāt be so hateful and judgmental. Nasty.
Lmfao, I have 4 kids, all by the same man, been together for 12 years, not married. It doesnt affect our relationship or parenting, and itās no one elses business even if it did
Birth control fails. We canāt control that
What in the year 1953 is even happening here
Umm what century are we in ? Marriage doesnāt mean shit I was married to my now x husband who now has a collection of 4 x wives.
I donāt know who asked this question but I feel sorry for them for so many reasons I canāt begin to type em all
Some people donāt want to get married. Marriage is just a piece of paper thats it. U can be in a long term relationship and have kids and not be married. The day still has legal and emotional responsibility even if ur not married
I personally think you should mind your own buisness. First of all. Marriage is just a piece of paper and ring. You can be commited with out that. And me personally . Ive never been on birth control why. Because it can cause many many problems horminally and can make you infirtle. So no im not going to risk it. And before you even say theres the paragaurd that has no hormones. Nope no thanks not risking it being lodged through my body. Nope.
A marriage doesnāt save a relationship. A marriage doesnāt prevent unfaithfulness. A marriage is a meaningless act and paper without the actual commitment put into it by both parties. A marriage actually makes it legally harder to leave a person who becomes/is abusiveā¦ Marriage is nothing special, it is what you put into it. There are women who have many kids with someone and stay unmarried many many years and are perfectly happy and it is a healthy relationship. There are married women with kids by their husbands who remain faithful to them only later to find out the man cheated the whole time and has a whole other family going on elsewhere.
Someone tell this person that this page is for single unwed mothers looking for justification for their fooliā¦ I mean independent actions that is the bulk of our problemsā¦ How dare accountability be spoken about a woke motherhood 
Well Iām just going to say- my first marriage to my oldest two Childrenās father did not work out. He had no want or desire to be a husband or father. The man Iām with now & have been with for 10 years- AND have a third child with is an EXCELLENT father to all 3 children. He picks up where the other dad slacks (by not paying child support, not seeing the kids for a year at a time, coaches sports for the older ones, etc.) If itās that big of an issue to you, YOU donāt do it!
I have two kids not married but have the same father under the circumstances and the things he puts me through no im not marrying him im doing my best without him and doing whats best for the kids
Maybe they want kids but not marriage 
Some of us actually DO NOT want to get married.
Wow !
I have three children with the same man , we were young when we had our first son ( 16 years old ) June coming marks 14 years we have been together , NOT MARRIED! And quite frankly neither one of us actually want to , but is that any of your business ? NO itās not , are you supporting these children ? I certainly donāt think you are , so therefore you have zero right to judge anyone , zero right to an opinion unless asked for !
I know people who were happily married and had children who just fell apart , that shot happens. It donāt make them any less of a mom or a human for that matter !
Get off the internet lady !!
I have 5 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN by ONE MAN
AND WE āARE NOT MARRIEDā
And was together for 16 YEARs
But recently passed away 5 years ago
So u shouldnāt think everyone or every story is the same there
Maybe u should worry about ur self 
Yeah? You owe it to yourself, mind ya bidness 
Iāve got 3 kids and been with their dad 30 years and weāre not married
Marriage has literally nothing to do with paternity or responsibility of a childā¦legally, physically or spiritually. This is one of the most asinine things Iāve ever read. Also, I was married and my 3 children were all planned pregnancies. Guess what, we divorced around 7 years ago and although there are no hard feelings, he hasnāt been in the position to help care for our children since. So if Iām reading correctly, you believe marriage somehow forces people to stay together and for both parties to assume responsibility? lol What deluded world are you living in?
Marriage is just paper. Married men walk out on their families everyday. I do mean leaving them for good too, not just leaving the wife. Some men just shouldnāt ever have kids or a family.
So why would you think itās only unmarried moms with men trouble?
Because weāre horrible people that love to cause you āKarensā more problems.
Hereās a good question though.
Why do you think we need to be married to have kids? Is it bothering you physically? Emotionally? No? Then 
And yes. All but 1 out of my 6 were conceived before marriage. Ope. I forgot. I have 3 baby daddies too. Thereās ya something else to cry about too.
People can do whatever is comfortable for them. Not your relationship, not your business.
I agree,why do they keep having babies when theyāre in bad relationship ās doesnāt make any sense .
Have a seatā¦ā¦ have several
āA baby doesnāt save or continue a relationshipā
Neither does marriage. Marriages still end. You can have the best relationship and not be married. You can have the worst relationship and be married. For some people marriage is just a piece of paper. It doesnāt have the same significance it had.
A marriage wonāt keep the other person from leaving or stepping outside of the relationship. Women donāt need to be married to have children or create a family with their partner. Is this a troll post?!
I have 3 kids, same dad. Wasnāt married when I got pregnant with the first two. We were before the 3rd. Still happily married and never used birth control!!!
1st of no birth control is 100% NONE!!! Secondly mind your own fucking business!!!
I think this poster is slightly old fashioned. One time if you got pregnant you didnāt tell and got married asap. Wouldnāt dare have a kid out of wedlock. Get with the times or get a different religion. As there is still some religions like that.
Wellā¦ birth control is actually terrible for your body. Soā¦ thereās that.
Sometimes I donāt have sex to have kids.
Sometimes I have sex just for orgasms. 
Sometimes people donāt even love the person theyāre having sex with. 
Sometimes people have sex just to get off. 
Sometimes babies happen, but faking a love/marriage is ridiculous and no one should be put through that nor should children be lied to or conditioned to āfake it till they make itā. Why be married if you donāt feel like you want to, or love the person enough. Shit happens. Mind ur business. As long as the children are happy and healthy it really doesnāt matter.
What not everyone wants to get married, and not every woman is able to take birth control. Marriages also donāt always work out, and most people donāt have babies to āsave a relationshipā which most men are forced into marriage by society and the women they are with- which is also why thereās so many against it now and why the divorce rate is so high. Each person and couple has their own thing that works
None of that is any of you business. Some of us manage to have babies with no men quite successfully. Judgy much?
Iv been with my daughters dad almost 14 years and were not married, were pretty mich married anyway and we dont need a peice of paper to know that we love each other
I think for someone who has so much to say on the matter, you posted annomusly! Thatās hysterical.
I love how classy some of these comments are. Like seriously. Marriages end just like regular relationships. Birth control is unhealthy. And you donāt have to be married to prove your love to each other.
GOOD POINTS MADE LADIES!
This is why so many women stay in abusive marriages. They are so scared of the opinions of others that they rather deal with the abuse/neglect/etc. than deal with the judgement of others.
Iām a married woman and I still donāt believe a piece of paper adds much to the relationship. Maybe for legal purposes! It must be hard to breathe from that high seat youāre sitting onā¦
She has every right to voice her thoughts on the subject
The importance of marriage is not what it once was. I got pregnant young and my mother asked me when I was going to get married. I told her āprobably never to himā (and I didnāt) my mother (a divorced woman who remarried) had trouble understanding and asked me āwhat will the baby think growing upā I told her. I donāt know probably the same thing I did growing up. I donāt remember you and dad being married and it made no difference in my life that you ever wereā. She thought about this and said āyour grandmother asked me what you (me) would think when you grew up if I got divorced. I understand what you mean nowā itās just a different time now and you donāt have to commit to marriage just because you are pregnant anymore.
Ladies do not explain yourself to this a hole. She should not be concerned with the decisions of others. Her husband is probably with his side chick as we speak. And no I am not bitter, however extremely offended. I am a single parent because the love of my life passed away. I had no control over that!!
I kinda get what she is saying, not so much being married but allowing horrible men to mistreat us and then pro create with them and then complain afterwards about how bad he is haha
Wow you are being very judgmental. Sounds also like you think youāre better. I hope your perfect life never gets turned upside down and that loving faithful relationship stays that way 
not all who are single are unhappy and not all marriages are happy.
3% made me think of him 
I had 2 kids by the same man and we were married. Still got divorced and he still has zero responsibility go crawl back under your rock 
Many people choose not to marry but commit to the same person for life
Many people choose to be sexually active with different partners.
Many people choose to have children and be single parents when their partner dies or the relationship breaks down
It is not our place to judge other peoples lifestyle .
Contraception is not 100 % and is the responsibility of both partnersā¦not just women.
If a woman says sheās taking precautions then the man should too. Pills help stop unwanted pregnancy as do condoms but condoms also protect against stds .
You realize some people donāt actually believe in getting married as in some donāt believe in kids before married everyone is different.
We canāt push what we believe down someoneās throat. And it doesnāt mean we let them have less of responsibility even married men do the same crap
What about if your a woman wanting a child and then when you become pregnant the person you was with decides they dont want the baby and leaves therefore you are left a single parent
Wowā¦are you that needy that you need to be married?
Iāve wanted kids since I was little. My ex-husband talked real big about us having them, too, before we got married. After the wedding he āchanged his mindā and I found out he had 2 adult daughters (he was older than me) from a marriage he never told me about. That was part of the reason we got divorced. A few years later, when I was 36, I was still not seeing anyone and knew I was getting close to the safe age to have kids, so I had my own. I had my own house and a great job, and my male best friend donated for me. That was almost 18 years ago and my son and I do well together, and heās the light of my life.
Not everyone wants to be married. This isnāt the 50s
Not everyone wants to be married. Iāve been in a relationship for a long time. Going on 8 years. I donāt want to get married. I have a child from a previous relationship. He has 2. All five of us live together and are one big happy unwedded family.
Iām happily married but both our kids were conceived before our marriage. I also know plenty of people in miserable marriages that feel stuck because the intimidating divorce and custody process they would have to go through. This post is giving 60 year old out of touch with society and todayās world.
A piece of paper doesnāt commit anyone in a relationship either . People still break up or cheat etc . Seen it happen many times in marriages you think are going great from the outside . And people deserve the right to choose what is best for themselves . Marriage, relationships , children not everyone wants these things and many do but not all either .
For those that donāt follow religion, marriage is just a piece of paper. If someone can be happy and raise a family, why should marriage be a requirement?
Iāve been with my significant other for 10 years, and weāre not married. we both wear rings and refer to each other as husband and wife, but i donāt need a piece of paper to prove our love for each other. And our three kids are loved unconditionally. (And two of them were conceived while I was on birth control.)
Marriage isnāt the end all be all it once was. If someone in a relationship is going to cheat, a piece of paper isnāt going to stop it.
My pregnancy was when I was young. I was 16. When I went to go on bc it was too late. I didnāt think Iād be with my boyfriend forever and I was right but I wasnāt going to give up my child because of it. I didnāt mean to get pregnant so early but Iām glad I did. I have a beautiful 9 nine year old and a wonderful 7 year old with my now husband and he is a wonderful dad to both kids.
Because we want a child without the BS of dealing with a man. Iām a single mom and I wouldnāt want it any other way. I receive 0 support from my childās SD and I prefer it that way.
Even though the baby was a surprise, he was very loved and very wanted. The man, on the other hand, was a mess. Marrying him wouldāve complicated an already complicated situation.
Why is it your business, is a better question imo if a relationship isnāt going to work it itās not going to matter whether you are married or not. Honestly I believe if you are married and in a shitty relationship it tends to make people stay when they shouldnāt even more so than not being married from what Iāve seen. You donāt have to be married to prove you love someoneā¦ my husband and I werenāt married when we had our first and didnāt change anythingā¦ if you had any common sense youād realize you donāt have to be married for a man to have a responsibility to a child that is his 
a woman also doesnāt need a man to successfully raise a childā¦ but hey ignorance is only bliss for the ignorant themselves I suppose.
The thing is if you are not financially able to tend a child as a single parent, stop popping them out! I am with the OP. Too many are having kid after kid, with different men and then whining about child support and how heās never there when you need them. If you cannot do it alone, then use birth control. Do not keep popping out babies with some guy you met a month ago. No time to know what he is like and yet willing to keep getting pregnant. Pregnant will NOT cement a relationship. It will not fix a broken relationship. And for godās sake stop trying to fix him. Men are not broken. They do not need you to change them. If you cannot take them as they come, then leave them be find someone who meets your criteria to begin with.
Not everyone believes in marriage. Thatās including myself. I WAS married with the donor of my first 2 kids. It was a shit show and he has not paid a single penny or been in their lives for over 10 years. My S/O now is always responsible with the kids, is engaged with them, plays with them, and doesnāt go blow money on stupid shit. We live together but not married. A piece of paper doesnāt make a man, it doesnāt make them a father and it doesnāt make them responsible
This is a very loaded question.
Marriage doesnāt guarantee that that man is going to treat you or your kids right. It doesnāt mean heās not going to bail out when things get hard. It doesnāt mean heās not going to cheat.
I got married to my ex husband before I had our son. It lasted less than a year. He was abusive and lazy. He hasnāt paid a single cent of child support even when it was ordered. Gave me full physical and legal custody if I dropped it (so I did).
My now husband? We moved in together after 6 months. Our child together was one when we got married. But we lived and acted as though we were.
Weāve been together going on 7 years.
Married going on 3.
I stay home.
He provides for us.
He helps me with the kids and the house including taking on my oldest as his own.
If we ever separated/divorced he would still absolutely be there for BOTH kids.
Just for a little perspective here.
Patriarchal bullshit
Or just donāt judge people.
I had all three of my children before I married their dad. I was dumb and 18 at first but Iām glad he didnāt just marry me because we were going to have a kid thatās not necessarily love. If you are going to get married it should be completely because of your love for the other person. I do find this question offensive and rude
I was going to answer thisā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ but then I said F it I donāt need to explain a gatdamn thing to a soul! 
#MoodAll2022
1, not everyone wants to be married even tho theyāve been together for years. I personally donāt do marriage, and never plan on having an actual legal marriage. I donāt need a piece of paper to tell me who I love. We both wear rings regardless. 2, I was on birth control BOTH times I got pregnant, birth control obviously just doesnāt work for me. 3, my kids arenāt any less loved by their dads just because we arenāt/werenāt married (I had my first at 16, and my second at 22 with different dads). 4, my mom and dad were married for almost 20 years before they got divorced, and my mom basically did it all on her own even with a man in the house.
Every situation is different. Everyoneās way of life and they way they look at like are different. Canāt judge someone because of when they had a child or what relationship status they had when the child was conceived or bornš¤·š¼āāļø
Uhmā¦marriage is a piece of paper. You canmale the commitment to your partner and god on your own with out marriageā¦my fiance and i have been together 11 years. Not married. 2 kids. No common law in my state so not even commonly married. Not everyone wants it.