Marriage is just a legally binding threesome with the government. Nah
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What other people do with their lives is literally none of your business. Concentrate on your own life. What a pointless judgmental post. Ewwww. This isnât the 50âs. Women are evolving to make themselves happy as well as their partners. Not just their partners or society and itâs prehistoric expectations of women. Married or not it doesnât matter as long as theyâre decent people and look after their families.
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Both of my children were accidents⊠granted I was 16 when I got pregnant with my first, had no idea how to access birth control & was definitely taken advantage of. My innocence was the perfect way for him to try and trap me. Thankfully it didnât work. My second child was also an accident, I was on birth control & she literally just happened⊠we have a great co-parenting relationship & I love her other Mama & her Father just as much as my daughter does. She was an accident and we just try to make the best of it.
I do however understand your perspective on this⊠I too have grown up in an incredibly sheltered, small minded town where the knowledge of unwed people having babies just blew right over our heads as an abomination. I quickly learned that itâs nobodyâs business as to what happens behind closed doors. Which you also need to learn. Not every situation where there is an unwed relationship that results in a baby is wrong, or doomed 
If you think birth control is the answer maybe you should advocate for the resources to inform these girls & women of the options they have to prevent pregnancy⊠not everybody has the same availability as you. & idk about you but it takes two to tango⊠blaming everything on the woman including responsibility of protection is like the pot calling the kettle black. I think you posted in the wrong group⊠lol.
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Why do you have to have a child with a man nowadays? Some women legit just want kids not a man attached. They can do so by having him sign off rights when baby is born no child support necessary. Maybe itâs just time to stop making men be parents when they dont wana instead of this question. Marriage will NOT determine if I can have a family.
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This has got to be someone trolling. Someone canât possibly be that closed minded in 2022.
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Not all woman who have babies and are unmarried are in a bad relationship, like me who had two kids with my fiancĂ© who Iâve been with for 8 years and I love very much and who treats me and both his kids amazingly. Maybe thereâs a reason for the two not getting married, which is non of your business. And the other thing, you make it sound perfectly acceptable when birth control doesnât work for a married woman but not ok for an unmarried woman? Itâs not bias. You can have your own opinion and I mine which is perfectly acceptable, but when one person sounds like that are putting the other down for their opinion itâs not cool. That may not have been your intention but thatâs how it came off.
Why are you worried about what others do? What I do or donât do, doesnât affect you, so why do you care?
Iâm sorry, but I strongly disagree. I believe in marriage as I am happily married now. But, I wasnât marrying someone who turned out to be a sex offender. It wasnât happening. Not everyone is meant to be a husband and or wife. Birth control doesnât always work. And some women cannot be on birth control.
Ummmm mind your own coochie how about that?
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Thats just a piece of paper 
12 yrs and 3 kids later we do and act the same as a married couple the only thing we donât have is the same last name
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âSignificant Otherâ can also mean âSpouseâ.
I was married for 16 years. Now Iâm not. Iâll be damned if Iâm gonna let someone judge me bc I have kids and not married. They donât know my life or decisions why I chose not to continue my marriage. I damn well still deserve to have sex being single if I do choose to. If I have another kid from it Iâll do what I do with the kids I already have, take care of them alone. Take your judgmental self and eff off!
Marriage is not the commitment I wanted. I donât believe in divorce and with me ,it truly is til death do us part. Kids are different and the love shared is different obviously. Whatâs made for you, does not mean itâs made for me in this life. You have a different set of rules to live by, my rules I live by are not meant for you either. There are general civil understandings across the board that should be kept but the rest of lifeâs rules are different for each of us.
Because some of us donât want to be married for various reasons. Marriage doesnât suddenly make a man responsible. What a gross question.
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A hit dog will holler, and these comments prove that 
. If you werenât so offended by the post, you would understand what sheâs saying. She actually makes a good pointâ:woman_shrugging:t5:
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âAt the risk of being bashedâ already tells me you know this was an insensitive and ridiculous question to ask.
Do you even know how many marriages end up in divorce because people rush into them? Two people do not need to be married to love each other and have a child together. Omg. I donât have the strength for this today.
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I donât plan to ever get married⊠Its just a piece of paper⊠My boyfriend feels the same way⊠We decided to have a child and are perfectly content with our life⊠Saying a woman needs to or should be married first seem quite archaic to meâŠ
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I am 24 shall be 25 in June.
I have been with my partner 8 years in November and we have 3 very loved, very happy children.
No weâre not married, weâre not even engaged. Does it matter? No not really.
Because weâre in a relationship consisting trust, love and being there for each other through the good times and bad. I donât need a piece of paper to know he loves me.
Plus children can change a whole marriage in so many ways. Some people after marriage split up after having children because the change pushed them away from each other.
Doing it this way. Weâve shown we are happy before we had children and now we have children and still going strong. Weâll get married one day. Just not yet.
I have every bit of respect for myself. All my children have same father. I have been loyal to my partner since day 1 and continue to do so.
The status of anyoneâs relationship is no-ones business. As long as they love each other, have trust in one another and full commitment and take good care of their children why does it matter if theyâre married or not?
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So being married will guarantee the man will be a good father and husbandđ€ Not likely!! In my opinion the only thing a marriage guaranteeâs is the legal aspect of the relationship on paper. A lot of couples have lasted longer without being legally binded by the government. To each their own though
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Why do we have to be married to have a baby? Youâve heard of divorce right? Married or not it doesnât mean youâll be together forever & it doesnât mean that the man will stick around & be a dad to the child. As long as the child/ children are taken care of what does it matter?
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Judgmental much? And you ask us to be nice?
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Umm because I didnât want to? Plain and simple. Get back in your time machine and go home to 1856
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One word my girl⊠FASFA.
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Because signing a paper doesnât âmagically healâthe relationship. Youâll still have the same problems Being married or not. Matter of fact some relationship worsen after marriage. And for some (most ) marriage isnât very important .
I was with my ex for 11 years .2 kids never got married. Just wasnât important to me
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WowâŠSomeone must be still living in the 1950âs⊠
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Maybe you should stop being so judgey and you might actually see posts from wedded people. I hardly ever see singles post. Youâre judgey and you let everyone know it, clearly. Thatâs a YOU problem, I suggest going to therapy for that.
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Why does it bother u so much nothing to do with u at all! Each to there own as long as people are happy then whatever!!
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Itâs not the 1900s anymore. Some people do NOT want to get married, does that mean they donât get to have children? Have you ever heard of DIVORCE? What about the kids that come from married parents and then they get divorced? Should they just be killed and be done with? Like come on.
Personally I donât want to ever get legally married, not that it matter much. Where I am after cohabitating X amount of months (6 I think) youâre considered married in the eyes of the government.
Iâm all for everyone having their own beliefs and whatnot but this is just a little ridiculous. Itâs not your relationship marriage, ect so mind your bloody own 
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And I will add this as well⊠You said having a baby wonât save a relationshipâŠwell neither will getting married! A piece of paper doesnât change someoneâs true character. The husband can still be a worthless father and spouse but with marriage it legally binds you to that person and is a lot harder to separate(divorce) and guess whatâŠmost of these men will still have to pay support so this whole statement of yours is very judgmental
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Just because someone is married before having children doesnât make things good. Lotâs of people that got married before kids end up in similar situations. Some people also make the mistake of getting married once pregnant because they are more concerned of being judged.
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I have a 4 year old and am pregnant with my second. Iâm unmarried. Itâs just not what my partner or I want. I donât believe that it means I donât value my self worth, I was just never taught that marriage is the end all be allđ€·đŒââïž
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Why does it bother you so much? If the kids are well cared for and the woman is happy I donât see the issue. Yeah statistically two parents are better, but I have seen some women do better alone for various reasons. If people are happy, let them be happy, your approval isnât needed.
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Itâs not for u to understand or question!!
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Imagine thinking u have a say in what anyone else does with there life smfh
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I was married. Shit happened. We divorced.
Whatâs your point?
Not all people share the same ideology that marriage is some magical fix for everything.
I personally would rather be a single parent to triplets than ever get married again.
Just because parents arenât married does not mean the father is not legally responsible for that childâŠâŠand not âemotionallyâ responsibleâŠâŠ? Come onâŠâŠ
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Big problem with what is wrong with the world. My lord.
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How does marriage mean no legal or emotional responsibility? Theyâre still on the birth certificate so theyâre still legally responsible. Do not confuse marriage for a bum ass man. I got married 10 years AFTER being together and having two children. STILL going strong. Sorry some people get dead beats but MY MAN has ALWAYS handled this daddy shit 
judge yo momma hoe not us.
I was married had 2 kids and he still cheated and I left him . So sorry being married doesnât make it magically work out.
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Marriage is literally a piece of paper. That piece of paper doesnât guarantee any responsibility. A man can legally walk out on his wife and children. He can escape child support just as easily as an unmarried man. Iâm was married, and divorced, and now married again. I have 3 kids, 2 are from when I was married to my ex. My current husband adopted them in 2019⊠my ex husband refused visitation with them for 8yrs. He refused to pay child support willingly. All that piece of paper did was cause me more of a headache because getting a divorce sucks.
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Birth control fails, condoms break and sex is fun 
Stay in your lane and judge your own 
Lots of people donât want to be married.
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Funny men do have a responsibility. Tons of men step up, you do NOT need to be married. Just to have a piece of paper that says so 
. If men do not want to be around, women go to thr court and file for support. It is not that hard. But Iâm glad you are so bent out of shape and from the 1920s
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Why is it any of your business
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Why dose it bother you what other women choose to do,as long as the child is loved and cared for well it shouldnât matter if mum and dad are married.
Being married dose not garuntee a man will stick around and help raise the child,being married also doesnât garuntee the relationship will be a good one or last the test of time either.
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Maybe just mind your business and tbh its not your business in the end
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Single women rock! They do it all and dont need a man. Some of us dont want to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen while the husband is out working. Some of is do it all and are very content. The super heroes of the mommying world. 
I hope no woman feel bad about their life choices due to this post. Keep rocking it mamas.
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Being married will also not make someone emotionally or financially responsible if they were not before my significant other and I have been together for 10 years have two kids and a wonderful home we support each other financially and emotionally and our kids are happy loved and have more than they could want or need paper work doesnât make a family we will get married eventually if thatâs what we want but we have all we need in each other and our family there are plenty of married couples who cannot say the same.
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Some people donât want to get married and thatâs their choice. Some people choose to be life long partners with out the label and expensive jewelry. I donât think itâs fair to assume someone has to be married to have a child and it doesnât mean they canât be an amazing single
Parent. What about those that use surrogates and donât have a partner? Should that mean they canât have a child? Is this post even necessary? I mean if you donât agree with children outside of marriage thatâs fine and your right. Also please remember many marriages donât work anyways and guess whatâŠ. Children were created. Marriage isnât the same today as it was back then. Let the good parents be parents with out judging their partnership/marriage status.
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I know married women and men that are getting an divorce so come again why we have to be married⊠ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ALL OF USâŠ
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I was on birth control, used a condom that broke and didnât know till it was too late and took two morning after pills and still ended up pregnant with my daughter.
You want everyone to be civil after your âquestion?â Get outta here
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Just because someone has a piece of paper signed by two people means absolutely nothing. Just because people arenât married doesnât mean they will be bad parents. Just because people are married doesnât make them good parents. Alot of marriages are shit. Does that mean Just because they are married it makes everything great.
I had one in wedlock and one of mine out of wedlock. The one in wedlock changed completely after the baby and wasnât ready to grow up and be a parent. The second man did and we got married 6 months later. It was to guard my child and my heart
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Some of us choose to be with men that we trust will take care of their children whether weâre married or not. You donât need to be with someone and them have legal responsibility if they have morals
My boyfriend and I have been together going on 7 years. We own a house together, have 2 kids, and are considering a 3rd. All thatâs missing in our âmarriageâ is a piece of paper, so we dont feel the need to be legally married
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Why is this post only directed towards woman. Whereâs the manâs responsibility in your post? It takes two and sucks when only one is accountable
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Judgemental much? Not your place to question whether a mom is married or not as long as the children are taken care of mind your own business
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Civilly, keep your questions about othersâ lives to yourself. You do you, and let them do them. Have a great dayâșïž
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Lady this is the 21st century wtf type of question is this?
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I feel also most are jumping into relationship after relationship worrying about these loser aka men. Get to know your kids. Do better for your children. Stay single or get w someone long enough to get married then have kids. Itâs all these kids that suffer over the pettiness of most of the talk âŠ
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How do you say âplease be civilâ when you are asking an incredibly judgmental question. Who are you to tell someone to use birth control based on what you feel is âself worthâ.
I donât know you but you sound like an absolute c*nt.
Howâs that for civil.
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âPlease be civilâ???
You have got to be kidding me! Since when do others choices have ANYTHING to do with you!
You must not have anything else to do.
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Iâve had 4 children all in wedlock. Iâm currently divorced. Being married doesnât ensure that the father will be a good father or provider.
I think whatâs important is that the father wants the child before you get pregnant. I think this increases the likelihood that he will be a good father and provider. Altho it doesnât guarantee it.
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Wow I have 4 kids with the same man weâve been together for 13.5 years but we arenât married, and he has lost of responsibilities to us and in a court of law. As we joint custody of our children. But by your logic I shouldnât have had my kids? You lady are an entitled self centered bitch by the sounds of it.
Why would marriage matter or not I have two kids one from marriage one from not and Iâm still happy my kids are happy so please explain why marriage would matter to each their own I love not being married yes Iâm with my partner but marriage is legit just a piece of paper that shit about being in a marriage before kids is bogus DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVERED marriage isnt about having kids after a piece of paper being signed WHO CARES WHY DO YOU this topic always erks me cuz I have value with or without being married
2 kids before marriage here and it was the best decision ever. We went through all the hard times as a a couple before marriage and now going on 2 years married this year but 5 years together and 11 years as friends
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This whole post screams arrogance. Get over yourself. People donât have to be married to have kids
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U sound dumb. Lmao like women just go around saying â oh oh thereâs a pos let me have his babyâ
So donât know where u live but let me paint a picture for uâŠâŠsee where some of us come from we were programmed by the systems in place for our demographic. MeaningâŠ.we meet a man from around where we are. He seems well to do. He works etc. u get with him and he plays his part well. Then once you get pregnant the skeletons start to come out of the closet. Now a lot of women will stay and live a miserable sometimes horrible violent life of abuse etc. although some women will put their big girl pants on and leave! With nothing but the clothes on their back. He cheats, I leave, he hits, I leave etc. So sometimes men will hide who they really are. You wonât see it til later. Some men turn lazy when they see the woman will work and pay bills and clean etc etc. they get lazy and get fired or quit and sit around mooching. Either u stay and put up with it or u leave. So when we leave we end up single motherâs. We donât plan on having kids with idiots. Lol sometimes they are just good actors until it suits them to show their true self. Not all men will ask u to marry them because these days these men a lot of them were not raised in households of married parents. It isnât something they were programmed to do.
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As a woman who got married because she got pregnant and ended up in a abusive relationship and had a hard time getting out of it because she was married, I disagree. This piece of paper can be a henderance . Just because you marry doesnât guarantee you or your child jack. Never ever think you need a male or anyone else for that matter to take care of you especially if you have a child to take care of! You donât have to rely on anyone!!! Single mama of 6 children who has no one myself. My dad is dead and my mom has dementia in a nursing home. The fathers of my children are deemed unsafe by dhs so I have no one, not even a male to rely on! And Iâm doing just fine!
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Be civil after you spew trash⊠right.
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Birth control doesnât work 100% of the time. None of them. Condoms work 97% of the time. A simple google search will tell you efficacy of each one. Did you know even when tying your tubes, then can come untied?
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Some men use violence and manipulation to force women into being incubators for them. Have you heard of stealthing? A google search can tell you about that too.
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Mental health help isnât available or accessible for every woman. Are they worth more than what their deadbeat partners think? Sure are, but low self esteem plays a huge role. If I think I deserve what a man is doing to me, Iâm going to stay, especially if I have no support system to help me see clearly.
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Doesnât matter at all if you marry someone. A marriage is only legally binding until it isnât. Marriages end all of the time. If I had a child with my first ex husband, does that mean Iâm not allowed to have another unless I get married again? What happens if that guy leaves too?
You seem to be placing a lot of blame on the women in these situations and not the men who could go have an out patient procedure done to ensure they do not impregnate women. You should try volunteering at your local domestic violence shelter. Advocate for free and readily accessible birth control, as well as sex positive sex education. Most importantly, you should do what you want to do with your vagina, and I will do what I want to do with mine.
You should just come out from being anonymous and say it with your chest.
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I wouldnt but i can tell you why they doâŠa single unwed mother gets financial help from the state. She will recieve WIC and food stamps based on her income plus free health insurance that covers her and the unborn child up till the child is born then depending on her income insurance cost will be based off thatâŠso many young women get pregnant dont even have jobsâŠif they were to get married their benefits would be based of a combined income and that would mean no benefits for many of themâŠthats why you see women in their 20s with 4 or 5 children by different men.
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Iâm sure this post will be deleted by admin very soon but in the meantime⊠Civilally speaking people like YOU ARE WHATS WRONG WITH IS COUNTRY.
My god! 
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Because being married to the man who got you pregnant ensures that he will always be there and 100% take care of his child, right? I mean there couldnât possibly a man that commits to marriage but wonât actually commit to a child he created. I do believe you have the mentality of a lot of the men these women on here are talking aboutâŠIâm not sure if youâre aware or not, but itâs 2022. Not 1950. Being married, to a lot of people, is just a piece of paper! You can fully have the commitment without a piece of paper.
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Some people dont ask to end up on their own with kids so how about thinking outside the box rather than asking why women do this and that. Many women believe the shite men tell them and then watch them cheat and lie and piss off into the sunset with someone else left on their own to be mum and dad to the kids,
Man. I was about to go off. ⊠But Iâm gunna keep myself together like the mature adult Iâm trying to be, while keeping my anger issues in check and just say âŠ
GO. SIT. DOWN. SOMEWHERE.
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Iâm guessing youâre an older woman. Because any one under 50 would know that your statement which was apparently a âquestionâ is completely misguided and nothing more than your personal opinion. I have a two year old, and Iâm not married, Iâve been with her father for 8years, and heâs not going anywhere. Also thinking a man has no legal obligations because him and the mother arenât married is just ignorance on your part. Educate yourself, please, because that isnât how that works, that isnât how Any of that works.
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Mind your own business.
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I have 3 grown adult children. If I knew then, what I know now, they would ALL have been illegitimate. Their fathers (2), were useless.
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But for real⊠just donât worry about it because it is not at all your business. 
Blessed be the fruit 
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I honestly think that, that is your opinion and your question shows closed mindness and also appears quite intrusive. Being married doesnât make a difference. My parents were married and my mother still ended up being a struggling solo mum! Marriage doesnât change people from being Cheaters, deadbeats, abusive. Some people also prioritize children and finances over marriage. Most people I know that get married these days are usually after all the kids, career and house and 10+ years. Hope these comments are big eye opener to your ideal reality. P.s parents also still have a legal obligation to their children even without marriage.
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Because premarital sex is better and dirtier.
(Iâm just kidding. All sex is good with the right person lol.)
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lollol being married doesnât mean a man will stick around for a child.
Not everyone wants to be married, some are content in their relationship, without a piece of paper stating theyre married.
Your closemindedness is gross.
Other womans relationships, especially ones who you dont even know, arent effecting you, so why do you care if theyre single, married, living with partner, etcâŠ
Stop being judgemental.
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Being married does not make you a family or the father a good Dad. Marriage has nothing to do with having kids in this 21 century. Back in the day it was proper to be married. Not so much now. As for birth control, thatâs a personal choice, being married doesnât change that either.
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Just because youâre married doesnât mean that the person you married is going to be a good father.
Thatâs an extremely outdated form of thinking especially in 2022. Should women be on birth control absolutely if youâre not ready to have a child you should at least be proactive and use some form of protection not to just prevent pregnancy that youâre not ready for but STDs as well.
It has absolutely nothing to do with being married or not being married.
If a man is going to be a good father heâs going to be a good father ring or no ring. There are a lot of men out here that are single fathers and raising their children without the mothers being involved in the childrenâs lives so we live in a different world and in different times. Thereâs nothing wrong with having plans to get married but thereâs nothing wrong with living together and being committed and raising your children without a piece of paper telling you that youâre in a committed relationship. And yes you still have rights both parents actually have rights married or not married.
I myself am a single mom and my sonâs doing just fine I share him with his dad and we co-parent. Thatâs life lol
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Go sit tf down somewhere 
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Firstly, what a woman does with her own body is her own choice. Secondly some women canât afford contraception and thatâs why they end up with multiple children. Thirdly not everyone wants to get married; see firstly
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Marriage doesnât ensure youâre going to be set either! Either party can dip at ANY TIME. Marriage is JUST a piece of paper and Iâd rather not split my things I worked so hard for with someone else if things donât work out. Get a grip itâs 2022! Your one of the ones that want people to stay with their own race too huh? Lmao!! Iâve never seen such judge mental people before in my life! Marriage over a relationship doesnât mean itâs any better I know miserable ass people in marriages yâall just getting cheated on and about to have to split everything that should be yours grow up
Because to me a marriage is a piece of paper.
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My thoughts and comments on this are
âwho the hell is this judgemental peice of s**t?!â What era are you stuck in! You had the wrong opinion for anyone to be civil about this stupid post 
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Best advice I ever got from the elders was, never have more children that you alone can afford. Never mind the fact that you are married that man can walk out for cigarettes and never come back.
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Iâm 48 and can not even comment on this post 
. The author is a complete idiot !!!
Lol you sound like some crazy bible thumper and an idiot all combined in one. Iâm not married and pregnant right now. Itâs 2022 marriage doesnât mean anything anymore except you pay for a really expensive piece of paper. So stupid and so are you. If you need attention that bad go to your husband. Also like me multi0oe women cannot take birth control as it causes more issues and health problems than doing what itâs supposed to. How archaic are you.
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I donât love any man enough to get the state involved. Being legally tied to a man through marriage can sometimes ruin your life. Some people get married to a whole ass man just because their religion dictates itâs wrong not to before sex. Imagine wanting to have sex that bad Iâm goodâŠworry about you and the rest of us will worry about us
Saying âPlease be civilâ is literally asking people to not be civil.
Also, why would you think that being married would make a man be âemotionally responsibleâ? Lol. Ive been engaged for 5 years, have 2 babes and we donât live life any different than we would if we were married.
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I got married AFTER I had kids & guess what I DIDNâT marry either of their fathers.
Youâre judgemental bullshit is showingâŠ
Being married means nothing these days guys will still cheat and ditch you your just disposable to them.
Well⊠I got pregnant and then some of his family just WOULD NOT STOP until we got married before the baby was born! Guess where we are now? I will give you a hint⊠We coparent great 
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Being married doesnât change anything.you can still get left and be a single parent. It happens all the time.
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