I actually agree with your words. I was married when I got pregnant for both of my daughters. Unfortunately my husband decided while I was pregnant with baby #2 to leave. To be honest I was stunned …after 6 years I really thought our marriage was on solid ground . But I bucked up…had our 2nd daughter ,got a job and made it as a single mom. I also made sure that if and when I had relationships that became physical I used birth control. I married my second husband 4 years after my divorce yet sadly my second husband died after 8 years of marriage…I have been with my (Now) third husband for the last 20 years. I only ever had the two daughters and that was enough for me…I love them dearly and I love the grandchildren they have given me. Both of my daughters have a strong work ethic (I like to think that it is because of me) They both are educated and doing well. With that being said I myself have thought the same things you brought up. Do not allow a man to have no responsibility for children he helped create BUT DO NOT USE THEM as a “Trap” to try to make a man stay…it won’t save or keep a relationship (That is worth anything) going. So many young women these days need to understand their self worth. YOU ARE ENOUGH…NEVER LET A MAN MAKE YOU THINK OTHERWISE.
Jesus this is just plane judgemental and rude. Not everyone wants to get married… Some people might want to be single parents… sometimes things don’t work out…
How’s about mind your own business and stop judging other women. So rude
Why are so many people saying young women need to find their self worth… what cause your a single mum you have no self worth… how’s about stop living in the dark ages and realise things change. Just cause you have a kid out of marriage doesn’t mean you have no self worth.
I have 3 kids with my ex unmarried we planned to get married many times just kept getting pregnant and pushed back. Also not everyone wants to get married. My desire to have children was much higher then to get married. If someone is happy enjoying their life let them be YOU definitely have the option to wait and get married first and that’s most definitely ideal so YOU make sure to do that!
How long were you married
As a child of parents who only married because of my conception, had another child and then divorced, I was never planning to marry at all. I was never going to trust enough to rely on someone else for happiness or anything else. I had a daughter at 20, never intended being with the dad and my daughter and i got along just fine. Not only that, i was happier and stronger than id ever been and my daughter was thriving.
I met my husband when my daughter was 2, we were friends at first, he had a small son and we would take the kids out together. But id made it clear that i wasnt interested in anything more. Over time i let him in, accepted his love etc and let myself trust and love him. We married when my daughter was 4. Had another daughter and 2 sons and have been together for 28yrs now. If i could go back in timei would never get married if im honest, i wouldnt give up any of my kids of course, but i dont feel that being married made a difference in any way, it just cost a bomb!
Marriage is a religious and legal construct. Just because the religion you choose to follow and/or the legal path you respect dictate(s) that sex and or pregnancy/childbirth/parenting is only allowed and only moral inside the confines of marriage, DOES NOT MEAN that’s the next individual’s religious (or not) belief or legal/moral following.
People get married and have kids and it doesn’t work sometimes so it literally doesn’t matter 
Is this a serious post?! I’m baffled by this antiquated train of thought. I had 2 children with my SO- he proposed more than once and I said no. I was more then content to stay in a healthy happy committed relationship without being married. So men have no legal or emotional responsibility to whom? Me? Their children? Men can choose to be those things or choose not to without a legal piece of paper. My god woman there are more important things in life than a piece of paper
There could be other circumstances… Some women want a baby and don’t have the relationship and are running out of the time and have friends willing to help them. I mean this is far out there as well. Some people feel more comfortable not being married some people have honest fears about it. My aunt didn’t want to marry again after her first husband when she had 2 kids with him. However she has another child and she’s perfectly happy with the arrangement that she has and for the boys father. Everyone has their own way with dealing with what they want to do with their children. It all based off of circumstances as well.
Not everyone believes in marriage but wants kids I wish I would have understood that when I was younger I forced marriage on two different guys bc I wanted kids and had to do the “right thing”
This is stupid and judgmental. Not everyone wants to get married and that’s ok so don’t worry about it. Next time you want only civil comments make a civil post.
I am catholic and I do not believe in marriage. I saw too many fail in my family or stay together only for the sake of their children. I will gladly be with someone for the rest of my life and allow them to call me their wife but I will not be bound by some mundane “rules “ or stay by someone’s side just because of that tie. I have 2 children with 2 different fathers- both of which I intended to be with for the rest of my life but unfortunately that wasn’t in my cards. Why would I put myself and my children through that hassle of a divorce!?…. I have more self worth and respect than that.
So a man must first be married in order to be emotionally involved with a child he had a part in creating? Well gosh darn it,that sure was a simple solution missed by thousands of women…wait…what’s that? Married men abandon their children as well? Noooooooo way!!! That can’t be true!!! This lady here made it seem like being married was the answer to all the worlds problems and made you respectable to boot!!!
Just can’t trust no one these days huh 
Gtfo. I’m unmarried and me and my man/baby daddy be doing just fine. Besides, do you even know how much it costs to get married? I can’t even afford a house. 
I have five kids and all from the same guy. We have been together for 20 years. We’ve talked about getting married before but it doesn’t really matter either way. We are content with how things are and don’t need a piece of paper to prove anything to anyone.
Because people can do whatever the eff they want
I got married and had 2 children. He was unfaithful and I threw him out. So what is the point of getting married?. It costs so much to get married and then it costs money and all the hassle of getting a divorce. Got better things to spend money on.
I have been with my sons father for four year and we just got engaged. We decided for many reasons to have another child before marriage. Soooooo…? Our children will still have both parents but we won’t be “married” until well after they are born. I see no issue.
I’m married… but I still know that it’s a piece of paper. A contract. For the government. Not for us. For us it didn’t change anything. We feel the same as though we are still dating. Just because youre married and have babies doesn’t mean the man will be responsible or have any ties to you. It’s not a shackle. He’s not guaranteed to be with you for life just because he signed the paper. What kind of s*** is this…