This can’t be real!!! Please for the love of god let that girl go!!!
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Your home your rules. They want a life together she can move out and pay her own way as an ADULT.
Stop controlling her
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I think shes an adult and youre lucky she even asked you because she doesnt need to 
lord how childish and bitter to try and control your ADULT child 
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She is 21, she is an adult…
If I was her I’d be moving out asap.
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She 21 she probably had sex already if that what u worry about , she really dont need ur permission if it not at ur house she tell u she bk tm u really cant do anything about it … if u had talk and told her how protect herself , then trust she will do it …sex isnt bad thing if u use protection…and rule in my house is until u pay 1 house whole bill as adults do then no bf / gf sleep over , but parents r different and if her bf parents allow it then truthfully there nothing u can do
By 21 I had two kids and owned 2 houses. 21 year olds are grown adults. Stop butting your own insecurities on her.
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Your house ,your rules. Move out and play house if she doesn’t like it.
Let her pay her own bills then see how much fun that is lol.
And a week come on ! Hell no
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Oh she gonna rebel and do something dumb all cuz shes locked out of living life. Not a great start to her adulthood
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Be happy that she is being honest. She doesn’t really have to tell or ask you anything to be honest. It’s going to be his parents house or a hotel.
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If she can get dick she can get her own damn place or live with his family or spend the night there.YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES!!!
She’s 21. They’re probably f*cking in their car behind the restaurant at least give them a safe place to have sex
She needs to make mistakes to learn
Maybe learn her to be careful
It’d be different if he was coming in your house, but 21 and she has to ask to go somewhere for the night? OOF
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Think of it this way… Would you rather they go get a hotel room? She’s an adult. And yes, it’s your home, but trying to place rules like that will only push her away.
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I’d be moving out if I was her 
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She asked outta respect but as a mother she’s not “staying with her boyfriend” under your roof it would be his parents! If she’s not a minor and has a job then I don’t see the big deal! This just sounds a little crazy to me
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You don’t get upto anything rude only at night 
Stick to your guns. It’s your home.
How can u possibly even think abt saying she can’t sleep out? No matter where she’s going! She’s an adult. A grown woman. Are you goin to kick her out if she just leaves? Cause u can’t call the cops. This seems inappropriate to me. And by “this” I mean your possessiveness of your adult daughter.
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Treat her like the adult she is. You want her to be able to confide in you. Keep telling her no and treating her like a child and she’ll do it anyway but she’ll hide it from you, possibly lie to avoid an argument. By all means, give her your best advice but she is a grown woman.
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It must been very hard to be a teenage mum, and I can understand you wanting to protect her from that, but by 21 she is an adult, and has to live her own life. I left home at 17. By 21 I had travelled the world and was working as a supervisor in an office. At 24 I fell pregnant with the wrong person. I had been living independently and self sufficiently for nearly a decade, which goes to show age doesn’t really have anything to do with it, and it will happen when it happens. All you can do is make sure she knows how she should be treated. So she understands her worth and loves herself and never settles for anything. You can talk to her about how a week is not very long and makes you uncomfortable, but if you forbid it, you will push her away, because if I were her, I’d move out with an ultimatum like that. Tell her you are so worried of patterns repeating, but trust her to make wise decisions (and tell her you do!). Good luck!
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You should have stopped typing at adult… it’s not your call.
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I’m not a parent. I get you wanting to keep her from making mistakes. But she’s a full grown woman. Allow her the decency to start living an adult life. I’m surprised she’s never stayed out all night already tbh. It’s clear you both have a great relationship. But she needs some freedom, it’s pasttime to loosen the reigns, you’re not going to be her everything forever.
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I’m 48 years old and I have never once spent the night in my parents home with a guy. That was their rules. I respected them. But I have allowed my children to in my home with their boy/girlfriends/husband’s. I did however stay at my boyfriend’s parents homes. I think it is weird that she would even feel the need to ask you for permission to stay with him tho. She’s grown. That’s just a little too much control in my opinion
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Shouldn’t be telling your adult daughter what to do
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If I was your daughter I would tell you too kiss my a** and leave and never look back u sound very toxic and controlling… BYE FELICIA
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She is a adult…
I was 18 living at my boyfriends parents place, my partner was 16… Yep I fall pregnant 6months into our relationship…
I had no job and my partner only had a very low income job…
We knew we had to step up if we were bringing a child into the world…
We moved out together, made it work. Both have great jobs and careers behind us now. Nearly 13 years later 3 kids and we are still going strong even when people told us we wouldn’t make it work and we’re making a big mistake…
Not everything gos to plan in life but it is the way you deal that matters… By her asking you at that age, I would say you already raised a very smart, respectful woman…
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I’m currently 22 and if my mom told me that I can’t sleep out/ have someone sleep over I’d laugh at her. And I would go out and do it anyways. It’s a sleepover and she is an ADULT. And a college education shouldn’t stop someone from deciding if they are ready for a child 
9/10 times she’s gonna do it behind your back
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Honestly she’s an adult, and you shouldn’t have a say in her personal personal life like that. It’s nice that she asked you, but you should let her do her own thing, make her own decisions, and not have permission to live her life. Even if you disagree with some of them, they will be ultimately her decisions. You should express your feelings and views if you wish, that’s fine, but you don’t have a final say in what she can or can’t do, that’s not ok. It’s controlling at this point in her life.
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Stick to your guns on this one
While she lives in your home she should be respecting your rules. No negotiations.
If her bf’s parents are ok with your daughter sleeping over-ask your daughter to imagine just how many girls have already done so before her (and the guy is only 19!)
Yuck 
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I live with my bf in his parents home:joy:
I’ve noticed that this is a very American thing. It’s your home and she doesn’t pay towards rent.
Maybe in order to stop your home from becoming a revolving door I suggest you speak to her about the importance of deciding who to bring home and when the right time to do so would be. I think the fact that they’re only dating a week is not motivation enough to warrant a sleepover.
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Why does a college education make a difference first all? My brother and I both joined the military right out of high school he opted to do his a little differently and got his degree while he was in the reserves I chose to go active duty and slowly take classes but didn’t actually obtain a degree it wasn’t until a few weeks ago at 32 years old that I chose to go back to school to work toward my CRNP so that I could be home more with the kids but my brother has a bachelors in network and internet security (IT) and I am/was (until this pregnancy) an owner operator truck driver making $40-$60k more a year than he does. Sure everyone wants their kids to do better than they did and not make their mistakes you can’t force a lifestyle on them or the minute they leave the home they go absolute buck wild to get a taste of freedom you denied them and all your helicopter parenting and denying them even the littlest of things now fuels their fire to go try it all at once. You should feel at peace with her even wanting to still tell you things at this age let alone to ask for permission. I promise you if she were off at college like you seem to want to push for her to do she would be doing way worse than asking to spend the night at her boyfriends house.
Your house, your rules.
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Is this real? your child is an ADULT
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She can do what she wants when she is on her own and paying all the bills.
You are showing her that you don’t trust her. She is an adult and shouldn’t really need “permission” to do anything, honestly.
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She’s 21 with a job, she’s an adult… she can do adult things. I understand you not wanting her to do it under your roof and that’s fine. But she should be able to spend the night anywhere else she pleases. My parents allowed me to do so from the age of 19.
Ur child is an adult at 18. Living w u, on her own, whatever. U can make suggestions about things, but that’s it. Just my opinion
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Jesus Christ. The woman is an adult. Let the poor girl sleep with her boyfriend.
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She’s grown and this is none of your business.
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Sit down she’s grown lmao you have no say
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Well say goodbye to her being ridiculous . I guarantee she won’t be living there much longer. Honestly she shouldn’t have even had to ask. They’re an adult. K
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She’s an adult, she can do what she wants. She can either be open with you about it or be sneaky and still do it. As for 21 being “too young” to get pregnant, that’s ridiculous.
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She could just go behind your back and do it anyways… because, ya know she’s 21 years old 
but sounds like she respects you enough to keep you in the loop of her personal life. Since she’s trusting in you with that, so maybe you should trust in her to make good decisions for herself.
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I think you need to cut those apron strings and let your daughter make her own dam choices. You will end up destroying your relationship with your daughter because you are controlling. Let it go and let her decide for herself. Her body her choice.
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wtf she’s 21 had to actually ask 
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Your child is a ADULT this is ridiculous! She’s not even a teen anymore she’s a legal ADULT smh
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Honey you better rethink this before your daughter leaves you and never looks back. She not a teenager she is an adult. Yes your house but she is providing for herself. If you want your daughter gone then keep not letting her boyfriend come. Good luck
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I think it’s weird that she even asked lol 
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If you are legitimately worried about her falling pregnant then that doesn’t just happen at sleep overs lol. I would’ve had the birth control chat a long time ago. You have a right to tell her she can’t have people sleep over at your house but at that age you don’t have a right to tell her what she can and can’t do.
Prepare to drift apart from your daughter… she’s 21 stop treating her like she’s 12, she’s gunna do it anyway and tbh it’s not your decision only in the house is, trying to control her too much instead of guiding her will push her away and soon you won’t have a daughter to control
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Cut the umbilical cord already let her make her own choices and learn from her own mistakes, you can try and guide her in the right direction but ultimately it’s her choice
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Shes 21 what is wrong with you ?
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19 and haven’t allowed it!
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Wtf she is an adult what is wrong with you . I hope she lies to you and does it anyways 
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Shes 21 she’s allowed to do what she likes she no longer needs to ask for your permission unless he is staying at your house then yeah she should ask out of respect but if she staying at his then no she doesn’t and shouldn’t be asking for permission
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As a parent with a adult child still living at home.
Of course they are adults and can choose to do as they want. Can’t legally stop them.
My house my rules. That includes being in the house at the time i set .
I don’t have to unlock my door.
We both grown and can make our own choices.
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She’s probably googling nursing homes near her right now. She’s 21. Stop.
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She’s 21 lol won’t be a teenage pregnancy no more 
She’s an adult, come on
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Make sure she’s on birth control and uses condoms. She going to do it whether it be at your house, his parents house, in a car or at a party
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It’s your house. If you don’t want a guy staying there with your daughter that is totally your decision.
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I just find it odd that after a week they want to spend the night together… talk about rushing it 
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Instead of asking mommy for permission, she should get her own place and go be a grownass woman.
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She didn’t ask if he could stay at your house so I don’t see why you would have any say in it. As a 21 year old adult she is free to stay the night wherever she wants. You have the right to your opinion of course but no actual say so.
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She is an adult so can do what she wants.
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Welp, I don’t think this went as planned… 
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I find it odd that your 21 year old child has to ask to stay at her bfs house.
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I bet you she already lost her virginity. if, you’re really worried about her getting pregnant then talk to her about safe sex. This isn’t the 50’s, she’s going to eventually resent you for not letting her be a normal young woman, move out and ignore you. Have rules about her having a boy over, talk to her about how it feels to be a young mother, talk to her…
You might as well still wipe her ass for her. 
omg no. She’s 3 years past grown. If she wants to go it’s her choice. Advise her to be wise about it though.
She a adult and I think she should not have to ask u if she can think she done it out of respect for u and u need to respect her and trust her XXX also tell her she don’t have to ask but thanks for telling me as u won’t have to worry about her not coming home xxxxx
She’s not asking for him to stay over in your house. She’s 21 and is grown enough to stay where she pleases. This kinda mentality can cause her to not call you if she does need help. She is 21 and needs to grow on her own. She needs your back and she may not feel like you do if you’re super hard on her.
You dont want to ever wonder why she didn’t call you if she did need help.
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This post makes me so appreciative of my mother. I was SIXTEEN when I MARRIED my husband. My dads new girlfriend tried to put him in jail because I was 16 (almost 17) and he was 18 almost 19 but we had been friends and dated since we were small kids. We grew up together. I never seen my dad back then or his girlfriend so they literally had no idea what they were talking about. My now husband had told my momma numerous times before that he wanted to marry me when we were older. Well we all sat down to talk about them calling the cops and making reports and my husband said he would go to jail then if that’s how they felt because he loved me and if they would come around they would see that. My momma knew he loved me. She knew I loved him. This wasn’t a teen fling we literally grew up together. We were best friends. That night he asked me to marry him one day after whatever happens next and that he loved me. My momma heard it and said “ do you really want to marry each other?” We said “yes”. She said “well let’s do this then.” That was on a Friday. We went to the court house. My momma signed for my marriage license. We went shopping got what we needed and we got married that Sunday. Monday morning the cops came to my house trying to arrest my husband and my mom showed them our marriage certificate, told them about how it wasn’t how my dad and his girlfriend made it seem and we grew up together, told them how I hadn’t even seen my dad in years, and kicked them out her house. My husband and I have been married for 9 years and together for almost 13. We both went to college. My husband makes good money and is set in his career. We have 3 beautiful children. My husband is the BEST father and makes sure we are taken care of and never want or need anything. My mom passed away last year from cancer and the last thing she told my husband was “ I know you will take care of my baby and my grandchildren. Thank you. I love you”
Ironically enough we forgave my father and I started building a relationship with him. We are now pretty close and he LOVES my husband. My husband and my dad do everything together. It’s funny how life works sometimes. My point is, you are supposed to GUIDE your children and teach them. You’re not supposed to control your children. You have trust she will make the right choices. But also remember the right choices for her might not be the right choices for you. And that is okay. She is an adult…
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Uh yeah no as soon as I turned 18 I moved out of my dads and lived with the father of my oldest two kids we was together at the time my dad didn’t approved (because of the age which I totally get) but my dad was so controlling I got pregnant at 18 after I moved out of the house and he threaten to take him to court for rape lol when it was nothing near that I was so happy to get out I’m 29 with 5 kids now but what I learned is if she’s an adult and you tell her no more than likely she’s going to do it anyway because legally you can’t stop her rather she’s under your roof or not and just because she has a ‘free roof’ over her head shouldn’t stop her from making her own choices I would talk to her but not tell her she can’t because how fair would that be to her especially if she’s a good adult and is already got a job and pays for her own things? If that was her choice to do this should be too so yes absolutely treat her like an adult that she already is she has to learn to make her own choices and learn from her mistakes but you can still be there for her mama just don’t over do it let her have some fun I mean she works 21 is not that young to get pregnant even if she did be a support system not her enemy
She’s 21 she should be able to do what she wants
However your house your rules and she needs to respect that
If you don’t want him staying the night in your house that’s totally your decision however she is an adult and should be able to learn from her mistakes now. If you don’t “let” your adult daughter she’s only going to sneak it and be sloppy so all you can do as a parent at this stage is make sure she knows how to properly be safe about it.
What the heck did I just read
My partner and I started dating when we were 17 and 18, he was allowed to stay with me at my parents house and vise versa from the time we started dating (even a couple of times before we were official)
We are now 24 and 25 and have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Stop being so controlling of your ADULT DAUGHTER or you’re gunna lose her.
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She’s 21 you have absolutely no actual say in the matter let her live her life shes allowed to grow up and make her own choices in life without your interference
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I feel like all you’re doing is damaging the relationship you have with your daughter. Once she is able to move on her own, I’m sure you won’t hear from her much. It’s okay and understandable to voice your opinion on the situation and to set boundaries for your own house (no boyfriends allowed at your house, no coming back in after a certain time,etc) however, telling her she “isn’t allowed” to stay at his house is ultimately only going to put damage the relationship you have with her.
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I would feel uncomfortable a strange man you don’t know under your roof at night. Not just hearing them going at it. But she doesn’t know this man well enough to bring him home to mom just yet. IMO I would tell her if he is any kind of man he would splurge for a hotel room or be a gentleman and have some patience. All she’s going to find jumping into a sexual relationship so quickly is that they come and go…
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She’s legally an adult, but some of you guys act like this mother is ignorant for asking a question, so let me ask you this:
Do you think, even as an adult, an unmarried, WAITRESS can provide for a child if she is still living with her mother and doesn’t have a stable relationship with the man she’s dated for a week? That’s the question I want answers to. A legal adult doesn’t mean you’re ready for the consequences that come with your actions…
Sincerely,
A single, working mother of two kids, who doesn’t receive welfare.
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Shes 21.let her get her own place.this way she can do what she thinks is best.but under mamas roof mamas rules!!!
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You’re right in the traditional moral sense. And she is your daughter. But she is also an adult, so it’s up to you if you want morals or to be her “friend”. I’m not saying I’ve never done that when I was younger, but I definitely learned the hard way that it doesn’t pay off in the long run.
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I started staying at my current bfs house over night within the first week or so. Then I got knocked up 6 months later lol. I was 19 at the time so my mom really didn’t tell me I couldn’t stay at his house. Now we’ve been together for almost 7 years lol.
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Yikes
Exact reason why I was gone at 19.
Provide safe sex Ed if she needs it, otherwise let her live her life lol
Did you say “free”?
Sorry but she isn’t a child anymore it’s time for you to step back and let her be an adult
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When I was 21 I went to Florida to live with my boyfriend for the summer… I had already booked a return flight to CA for my sister’s graduation then a flight right back to Florida… Of course I broke up with my bf and left early. I took him back and retuned to Florida again with that pre-booked second ticket though. Looking back I wish I hadn’t… I straight up told my mom I was going to Florida… Twice. She couldn’t stop me. Nobody could.
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I h8 the mothers that don’t expect/want/need rent from their children but call it a “free” ride like pardon me
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First of all … SHE IS A GROWN WOMAN!!! #didntusayshewas21???#Tf!!!
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Hm I was 23 living “at home” but paying all my own bills. With no support. No one made me ask to do anything even the aunt I was paying rent to, she was also a teen mom. Just asked I let her know where I was so she didn’t worry,
Honestly she’s a grown adult and if you keep acting like this towards her it may ruin your relationship… I think if you’ve done a good job at raising her and letting her know the struggles you went through, she would not go through the same path you did. Wether she ends up pregnant at 21 or not… is that really the WORST that could happen?
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Jesus I’m 23, my mum never stopped me from doing anything in life. She supported every decision because she knew any downfall would be a life lesson that I made on my own. She let me live and learn life, and if it wasn’t for her being this way I genuinely wouldn’t have a relationship with her. Best style of parenting is allowing your child to be who they want to be, but supporting them during all the downfalls and success’s
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I agree a week is kinda too soon for starting to sleep over, but she’s 21, there’s not a lot you can do about her decisions at this point.
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Tell her you want like 2 hundred dollars a month in rent. Have they only been seeing each other a week?! If so definitely a no!
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Adulthood doesn’t only come with age… if she wants to be treated as an adult she should act like one. She needs to step up and support herself. Out of respect alone she should understand her mother. When its her house she can decide who comes and goes. Untill then the daughter has options. With all that money she’s saving, they could rent a hotel for the weekend or whatever. I side with the mother 
% … Very inconsiderate to force your own mother to be spending the nights with a stranger all because you’ve known him for a week !
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I was sleeping at my highschool boys friends for weekends. Yowza! (And no never got pregnant…)
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I wouldn’t let her either, only a week lol she’s thinking with the wrong head
Why the rush …
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She is a adult she is at a age where she can make choices for herself
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