I’ve been with my fiance for 10 years. Lately I feel like we’re falling out of love. We haven’t kissed in months. We barely do the deed. He’s got a temper that constantly causes him to overreact and frankly it’s embarassing and hurtful a lot of the time. Today is my birthday and it consisted of being yelled and and ignored. I even told him how sad and hurt and misunderstood I feel, I honestly think he’s a brick wall. No emotion other than I have to work (from home) we’ll talk later. No love no affection no compassion no apologies. Does anyone else go thru these things or is this going nowhere? Oh, and not even a $1 bday card or anything. Normal??
No. Not normal. Why would someone who is supposed to love you treat you like that?
Get out my mother in law went though something like this and it ended with her getting her finger broke over a cupcake . getting sprayed in the eye with cleaner . and a lot more
Run, and don’t look back!!!
Before jumping the gun and leaving, ask him is he aware he has a problem and has been trying to stop and not succeeding. If so, recommend he sees a therapist. If he refuses, leave. As someone who recovering from childhood trauma, I can say what is important is he is aware and is making an effort to better himself.
Also, hold off on the wedding until he shows signs of improvement.
Maybe try counseling together? Sometimes when people been together a long time and get stuck in a routine it can be hard to get out of it. No relationship is perfect but if you guys love each other you should be able to work through it❤️
Hey , I’ve been there get out while you can! It will get worse
No. You can do better. Dont let him treat you like that
It’s time for you to leave, I know you’re probably still with him because you’re comfortable with him because ya’ll have been together so long. But the relationship has ran it’s course, time to move on.
Happy birthday. And get away. Find someone that will love you
Im sorry.you deserve better.you know in your heart you do.
Sorry but he should of at least said happy birthday if he remembered…
Yes couples go through periods where they need space but if it’s been going on for months then something definitely wrong… hopefully you two can talk…if he won’t then you have your answer… sorry…and happy belated birthday
I have heard of this and rarely do couples pull thru this. Consider counseling or moving on. So sorry and wish you best of luck. On the other hand, go and enjoy your birthday
First off happy birthday! This is so sad to read, I can only imagine how you are feeling. No it’s not normal and you deserve to be happy.
Leave while you can
This is not Love
NO. I’ve been married 5 yrs and we dated 5 prior…it is about TEAMWORK and COMPASSION…ues theres up and downs, but love doesnt drag u down it should lift u up. Please get out of this😢
Before just running away from a problem, consider counseling! It helps a lot. If he doesn’t see a problem with the two of you, and doesn’t want to work on it, then I would consider leaving. Sadly, something may be going on. Men tend to get all defensive for no reason, because something is going on with them.
Don’t marry him. Im you 15 years and 4 kids later. He’s still like that and worse and he is horrible to live with. He’s a horrible husband.
He sounds really self involved. Move on, onward and upward!x
You are role playing. You both seem unhappy prayers for your happiness
Leave him now not worth worrying over
Sound suspicious … And mean. Leave. And after 10 yrs your engaged but not married?? Theirs some serious issues w that… Sometimes therapy and working on stuff just isnt the right answer. Esp after sooo long
I went through the exact same thing and we are no longer together. It was like we were roommates. But we didnt try hard to fall back in love and do things we used too. It sucks bc I am still heart broken and it’s been over a year. We have a 4 year old son together. It totally sucks, but it happens.
Time to end this relationship- don’t look back!! Be thankful you never married!!
Counceling. fireproof movie, book the Love dare
My ex was like that. I left. I recommend the same unless he agrees to counseling.
Lost me at “haven’t kissed in months” he honestly is probably not in love any more… Action speaks louddddd!!
No babe, that’s not normal unless something is wrong. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You deserve better. So does he. People deserve to be loved, to love… to be with loving, supportive partners in this crazy world.
It is possible to turn around a relationship once it’s gotten sour or “bad” … it takes a ton of work and generally a therapist.
I’m sending you as much support as I can. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
Yes girl leave him . and also happy birthday
Happy Birthday Sweetie. I never get anything for my bday from my partner either. Most of the time I don’t even like him. If you don’t have kids together, go ahead and leave.
My dad always told me love isn’t about the exciting parts, it’s about surviving through the monotonous parts. Not everything will be interesting or fun anymore, there will be slumps where nothing happens and that may last months or years. As long as you let it.
Try counseling. Or even something spontaneous at home to show him you love him and are concerned about his self destructive behavior.
Please don’t let these immature girls tell you to leave at the first sight of an obstacle. My husband has depression that hits randomly and his temper flares during these episodes, he’s not affectionate at all and focuses only on games. For a year we fought over and over because I would get pissed at him for not loving on me until my dad shamed me for not giving him my love when he needed it most.
If you love him, please show him. Smile when you see him next, give him a big hug and kiss, tell him you love him and ask if there’s anything you can do or say to make him feel better, that you want to see him happy with you again.
Help him get help and realize you’re his support, in sickness and in health.
Something is definitely not right!
happy birthday!! I am sorry you have to go through this with your fiance. I wouldn’t marry him. it’s just going to get worse.
Dump him, he’s not worth your love.
That’s mental abuse- part ways soon- he won’t change:confused: Don’t waste anymore time with him:confused: You deserve much better- happiness is out there 4 u- life is short- be happy
I had that happen with sons dad. We were over
Get out before you waste 10 more years bby
Why would you be willing to settle for this? If this is his behavior before marriage I would sure hate to hear how he treats you after!!
It breaks my heart to hear this is how your birthday (and every day) is being spent.
Find someone that knows your worth. But it starts with you! Know your worth! Best luck sweetie.
What’s wrong with being assertive…have you kissed him or waited for him to lead? Have you talked to him or have you waited for him? Communicate, give him the love you want and if it’s meant to be he will return it. If not then you have your answer. But if you want love…give it…
Instead of the other suggestions of leaving him etc maybe he is stressed out or overwhelmed or even depressed given his mood change and the lack of intimacy. Before you marry him I would honestly try asking him to speak to a professional and even try couples counselling. As you implied it’s only been going on the past month or so so really anything could have happened and no it’s never an excuse to treat someone shitty. Best of luck x
Happy birthday hunny xx he doesn’t deserve you x
This is not supposed to be normal. Unfortunately it happens all too often. Change your situation and get healthy so you can take care of the kids properly.
If you have nothing good to say about him or your relationship then it’s about time you walk aways.
Don’t listen to the women who easily give up and leave anytime the going gets rough. You have to make your relationship a priority.
He’s showing you what type of husband he is going to be. RUN. it doesn’t get better.
A waste of time (10years) He’s a selfish creep. DUMP him😝
You’re not married yet. Get out of there and consider yourself lucky you found out in time.
You’re not married to this guy and you are putting up with this crap ?? He is being mentally and emotionally abusive…not likely to get any better. I would be getting myself together and put him in the road !!!
Run before you waste another minute on someone who doesn’t care about u
Coming from someone who has been in the same situation and didnt listen 2 advice and leave then married the person anyway no it’s not normal far from it and trust me it only gets worse if u get married if uve tried 2 Express ur feelings and he continues to ignore them then it’s time 2 leave b4 u waste more yrs of ur life!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY I hope u figure it out good luck hun!
Happy Birthday. You deserve better! Let him know that you will no longer stand for it. Go out and have a birthday drink!
Not normal. Imagine yourself 40 years from now… Old lady… Would you still want this fool treating you like a piece of dog crap? Nothing I’d want. I’d rather be alone.
Why have you stay for 10 years? Has it always been like that
He must work for a construction company .Its everybody else’s fault not his
Normal for me, what the hell are you even asking for. Get the hint, get away from him
He doesn’t love you. Leave him.
Happy Birthday and leave while you can especially if you are not even married yet and this is how he behaves with you. He is showing you his true colors and they are not loving, they are abusive. Hugs
10 years no wedding treats you like dirt. Do you actually want to be treated awful, starved for sex and ignored your whole life? Run now!
Happy Birthday sweet lady!
No its not okay to be that way towards you!! Run as fast as ya can sugar
It saddens me to see so many say run,get out,end it now… people go through difficult times and chances are that there’s a problem that you aren’t aware of,not your responsibility but sometimes men battle many problems without us ever being aware that there is anything wrong. Some feel like less of a man or like they are weak. If this is something new as in the last several months and not the entire time you have been together,it tells me to try and fix what you have and not so quick to run because things become hard. If it’s been worth being together for the last 10 years then by all means don’t give up. It’s way too easy for everyone to give up nowadays… imagine how many people fought extremely hard back when you actually stuck by your mates side through thick or thin,until death do us part… married or not a commitment is still a commitment. If you love him and this isn’t the norm for this person you have loved all this time then please consider getting through it with outside help if he’s open to it. However if your situation becomes violent then please don’t put yourself in danger and get help to get out. Prayers to you and your mate.
By the way he is acting he may be cheating on you then gets offensive when ut is time to talk or be affectionate.I think it’s time to possibly cut ties before he gets abusive with you.Just have your eyes wide open please
Time to end this relationship.
Love goes thru different stages, this stage will pass. Forgot my son’s birthday twice in 22yrs. Even written on the calendar.
You know damn well that’s not normal
If talking isn’t working, leaving may be the only option.
Be careful though, he may come crying after a bit. Do not move back in. Make him grow up and earn the relationship.
Yeah this is totally normal! How is this even a question…?
My 1st instinct would be to say u should leave until he changes or realizes what he just lost…however…being w someone for so long, the relationship can get stuck…BUT he should not be treating you like shit. So I would really let him know that you ain’t gonna tolerate this anymore because it’s not healthy to be in a loveless relationship. If he claims he loves u, he needs to prove it… if not, it’s tough love babygirl n time to go so he can realize the grass ain’t always greener on the other side and your side just needed a little watering to grow again
Head out now before it gets worse.
Would you want your Mother, daughter, sister or best friend to be treated this way? Respect yourself, move on.
10 years. I would say so long. I want a different life. No matter what anyone can say to you. What every you, has to came from you
Sadly no. It seems as though you have grown apart and you deserve better than that. Happy Birthday.
U poor thing start going out others will appreciate you got you good luck and yes this happens everywhere
Happy birthday sweetie. No that is not normal my husband and I have our spats from time to time and believe me it can get bad with the yelling and embarrassing and belittling but never going months without hugging and kissing and showing affection and he always makes sure I have the best birthday every year
Life is too short, get out of that situation. Before you waste another ten years.
Time to kick him to the curb
When we were young & broke that did happen. He was depressed & I was also. It took life changes to say we grew up, took on careers instead of jobs & showed up for marriage again. Keep trying thru the tough times no matter how hard. If you want him for a life partner then it’s worth it in the end.
Nope, after you attempted to talk to him and no response. I’d be the fuck out.
If he isnt willing to listen or help himself with his issues then its time to say bye. My exhusband wasnt married long but we were together for 7 yrs and it went no where
Leave before it gets worse! Good luck and you will have a better birthday next year! Take care of yourself
You need a whole new life
Work on it. Love that isn’t broken by cheating or lying etc is worth working for. And I do mean work. Is he depressed? Find a fun thing both of you have to do to accomplish the task. It will get a jump start on working as a team and get you communicating again
Since this is a recent thing, go to a counselor and find out what is going on. Men are reluctant to show any weakness and something else may be going on he isn’t willing to talk about: cancer, ED, a new awful boss or being put on probation at work, a friend or parent who is dying, having a side chick, having a big, unexpected debt, being involved in something illegal, existential angst or mid-life crisis. A good therapist will get it out of him and help you both deal with whatever it is.
A counselor can give you both tools to get the spark back if you can, or help you see this is who he’s always been or who he’ll always be from now on & the relationship isn’t worth saving. Or maybe some time apart will give you both time to reflect on everything.
Is this the first time he has been hurtful on your birthday or is this year just worse than normal? Anger is usually a cover for fear or another unpleasant emotion, so once you find out what that underlying feeling is, you can work on it together.
Good luck! I hope things work out, but prepare yourself to live on your own in case you decide it’s best to separate.
Leave. It will only get worse.
Communication is very important
Leave! I did 3 years ago and have been so much happier! Happy birthday beautiful! Make this your birthday present to yourself
Wtf; sometimes I worry about my relationship but Jesus Christmas the stuff some of you poor ladies have to put up with. My man loses his cool but apologizes, we’ll argue for hours until we reach and understanding if that’s what it takes. Hope things get better love happy birthday
The love is Gone as the song says.
Whatever his bug up his a s s is he’s leaving you clueless.What his problem is really hurts he can’t take time out for your birthday.Sounds like it’s time to go down the yellow brick road without him.You should be [email protected] be if you leave.