Boyfriend Blames Me for Spending All Our Money

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"So here goes …my bf inherited like 40000 dollars, and we went through it together, especially cause he had two DUIs, and we had to Pay lawyers and his dads bills, plus we had to pay to live, and I’m sorry if u think 40000 is a lot its really not we have hydro gas rent and three kids plus all his stuff to pay for …now he’s blaming me for "spending " all the money I’m so sick of it and honestly wanna leave! Everything he talks about is money, and I still have Bill’s to pay and feel scared to even ask him for a cent…he doesn’t know that I know he has like 1000 dollars in 100 dollar Bill’s and says he has no money meanwhile I’m trying to pay the Bill’s with little to no money I have I’m stressing like crazy trying to figure it out and he could care less as long as he had his money …what would you do?"

RELATED: Are Your Financial Struggles Really About Money or Is There Another Issue?


The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"I would sit down with a notebook and plan a budget. Make it clear who is to cover what expense in the plan. That way there is no confusion or arguments"

"Leave. Anyone that puts themselves before their family is selfish."

"I would leave. You’re already doing it on your own as it is. It’s causing you too much stress. Sounds like he has a temper, if you’re nervous about asking for money to help pay bills. I’ve been there. It’s not worth it, especially with three children. It’s difficult paying bills and having one child to care for let alone three. Sending good vibes your way."

"$40,000 is a lot of money. Get a job to pay your day to day bills. You're both to blame here"

"I would honestly try to sit down and come up with a game plan that will work with both u and also be upfront and honesty with each other and how it’s making u feel and try to work on plan and make monthly budget planner once a month and go it as a couple"

"Type out on an excel spreadsheet to show where all the $$money went. Budget together and get the bank statements to show where it went."

"I mean, fighting over already spent money seems a bit pointless to me, but if you plan on moving forward more communication about finances would probably help. I was taught that each party should have their own bank accounts and have one joint account. Every paycheck put your portion in the joint account and pay bills that way. Keeps money separate but pay bills together…"

"It sounds like a lot of money but its easily spent…he obviously knew it was being spent so write down as much as you can and show him where its gone…"

"Too late, should of kept receipts of how it was spent. Do you have a job? If not get one…"

"I have questions like how long ago did he get the inheritance? How much was his lawyer, fines and dads bills? Do you guys not have other sources of income? How did you pay rent and bills before the inheritance? I would be upset if my husband was hiding money from me and leaving me to figure out how to pay the bills on my own. Maybe make a budget and figure out how you two will pay them as a couple."

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