Can a 12 year old for sure know their sexual orientation?

My daughter told me she is gay. She’s 12 years old. Is it possible for her to know for sure?

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Yes, though some kids struggle. And suggesting she doesn’t know for sure, shows you don’t truly accept it. So please don’t keep asking her if she knows or suggesting she might change her mind. It’ll show her that you never fully supported her.

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Doesn’t matter if she is sure or not, support her no matter what the outcome

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Yes. Most people I know knew who they were attracted to even sooner than 12. Don’t discredit her just because of her age

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It’s possible. She may know for sure or she may not, just offer her support and go with the flow. It’s not a parent’s job to decide what a child knows about themselves. A parent is just supposed to give unconditional love and offer support.

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I knew I had crushes on boys in 3rd grade. So yea by 12 you know what gender is attractive to you.

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Yes it is possible my daughter did and now she is 14 and doesn’t care if anyone knows that she is gay and I love and support her

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I’m bi. I’ve kind known since I was in 2nd grade

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Most know long before 12. If she came to you and said she was straight would you question whether she was sure? Even if she realizes later she’s not gay just love her no matter what :heart:

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Absolutely. I knew by 10
My oldest has always known
And my 10 year old just came out a couple of weeks ago

I knew I was bisexual at 9

She probably knows damn well😂 i knew i was bi at 12, 19 now still bi, although she could be struggling with her sexual orientation and is trying to find out for sure, but most likely she knows

Yes absolutely and even if it is a phase does it really matter? The moon goes through phases and is still considered the moon :full_moon_with_face:

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Yep, you know. You know well before that.

Absolutely. If a person can know they are straight at a young age then they are equally able to know they are gay or any other sexual orientation.

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My sister came out as bi when she was around that age. My mom told her that there was nothing wrong with that but that she still had plenty of time to discover herself and we have always supported her.

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My daughter is 14. I am not sure when she knew, but it was about a year ago that she came out I suppose. My reaction was like, “ok”. Lol…she hardly talks about crushes or anything like that. She has many friends that are part of the LGBTQ community and more than anything, I told her to respect herself and show respect to others. To be open minded about others’ opinions and stand her ground if need be. And rules apply the same way about dating.

It really doesnt matter does it? If that’s how she feels that’s how she feels

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Yep. I knew I liked boys at that age, by 14 knew I liked girls too.

Yep! I knew all my life basically

I knew when I was 10 that I girls. I’m bisexual but didn’t have a word for it at that age.

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My daughter is 12 and she knows she is bi

Yes I had a friend in school that knew in 4th grade .when we became adults we are still friends ,and she is still gay. She didn’t come out till 9th but it’s wasn’t accepted then like it is now. She dressed like a guy so we all knew anyway. It didn’t matter either way we loved her.

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100% yes. I knew myself at that age when everyone was taking about boys and I just never understood and then it clicked that I like girls.

I don’t know. My 12 year old step daughter is really confused about her sexuality and is trying to figure it out. I told her that she has a lot of time to figure those types of things out, and for now she needs to just be a kid. That’s my perspective on the whole thing. Be a kid, and figure all of that out later.

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My son is 13 now but when he was 11 he came out to me and his dad as bi

Yes! And support and love her just the same!

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Did you know for sure you liked boys when you were 12? Not any different.

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Why does it matter who she likes and doesn’t like?

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Does it matter ? Who cares the age, if she is happy with this decision then she is happy. All that matters.

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Hell no. Support her - be there for her to find her way, and support her as she goes.

She probably hasn’t a clue tho - yet. And that’s the awesome thing - she’s still a kid, and she doesn’t HAVE to right now.

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I thought I was gay when I was in my teens. I kissed a girl and felt gross and at that point I realized I was a tomboy not gay or bi. I just thought the girl was cute and misconstrued my feelings. But I can’t speak for her I’m not sure what she feels.

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I was 13 when I realized I liked boy and girls. I’m almost 23 and nothing has changed.

It’s possible. Just gunna have to let her live experiment and figure herself out.

100! Percent possibly to not know for sure I have a friend who swore she was a lesbian for over ten years she now married with two kids and had no interest in women

Yep. I have friends that knew at 5. I had no interest one way or the other until probably close to 19. I wasn’t sexually attracted to anyone.

Yes she can know I knew when I was 10

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Yes,kids innocently know as young as 5 years old if they are attracted to boys or girls.

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Just support her no matter what. At 12 there is a lot that they are trying to figure out and whether her parents will support her if she doesn’t fit the "normal " ideal shouldn’t be one

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People will say yes. But I don’t believe so

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I think kids at that age don’t know what they are most of the time. They’ll find their way within the next few years, just go along with it and be supportive. The world is a different place at school these days. More than half of my daughters grade think they’re bi/pansexual/gay.

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100% for sure. When I was 12 I thought I was bi, now that I’m.in my 20s I worked out that I’m Demisexual, but bi as well. Just support your daughter as she works things out x

Did you know who you liked at 12?

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Totally possible to know

When did you know you were straight? Chances you knew by 12 but just didn’t have to think about telling your parent because it was assumed. All she needs is your support and time.

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I would be supportive but also let her know her options. My dads gay and loves his life. He didn’t come out until his 40s

You started liking boys around that age right? She can very much know she likes girls at 12.

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Yes she can know. Thats the age kids go through hormonal changes so it would be prominent to her. Just other kids know they like the opposite gender by that age…same thing. I knew I liked females by 10…

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Why does it matter? I’m honestly no sure why this is an issue with some parents. I will except my daughters future partner with open arms regardless if it’s a boy or girl. As long as she’s happy that’s all the matters right?

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My 10 year old told me when she was 8 she liked girls over boys. Still does to this day prefer girls…and I am more than ok with that. It is possible to know quite young

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It’s possible but doubtful. Just support her, regardless you can’t change who she feels that she is. The last thing you want is to drive a wedge or have her shut down an not be open with you.

Why does it fucking matter?

I Have a friend going through this and my words to her were how old were you when you first like a boy or had a crush. She said 6th grade . My response was so it’s about the same age and she has figured out she likes girls. Be grateful she comfortable enough to come to you and tell you.

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it could be possible, She at this time has no interest in boys & it’s girls, Just let her talk, be VERY supportive, no matter what. Because if not she could become depressed & sometimes the end result isn’t a good one. But if she knows no matter what, you love her with all your heart & you stand by her no matter what, she will be a very well adjusted person

It is so wonderful that your daughter trusts you enough to confide in you, that is huge! Sounds like you’re parenting right. Just be supportive, she is in a time in her life where she is discovering herself.

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Ugh! My daughters friend (10yo) said she’s bi/pan sexual. And she would talk about it constantly! So I think it was confusing my daughter(9yo) bc she didn’t really like anyone just yet… so she started thinking she was bi… :woman_facepalming: not that I have an issue with it, but I put a stop to them hanging out for awhile and when I let friend come back over I told her she needs to stop talking about certain topics

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You wouldn’t be questioning whether she could know if she was straight or not :roll_eyes: leave her alone, what’s the worst thing that can happen even if she is ‘wrong’? Oh no she might kiss a girl :scream: foh

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Very possible. My daughter is gay. She’s 14 and told me last year but ive known for quite a while

Just be there for her, give her your total support, give her time, let her make mistakes she’ll totally learn in time girls are fussy she may know her orientation your so lucky she loves and knows you enough to tell you, just be her mother who is proud of her daughter, we’ll done mum you’ve raised a wonderful confident girl hooray :grin: for you both!

Don’t get hung up on labels…just be there for her…she may or may not have a few rough years ahead of her

I think about like this…would you question if she knew for sure if she said she just liked boys? If the answer is no, then it shouldn’t be a question here and if it does change who cares as long as she ends up with someone who loves and respects her that she loves and respects as well. I knew from a young age(7/8) I was attracted to both girls and boys but had no name to call it and just assumed I was a freak. Until I was 13 and a friend told me about being bisexual and I identified as that until I was 22 when I learned what Pansexual was and I identify more with that now than bisexual but I just happened to fall in love with a man, who adores and respects me more than any past relationship.

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My teenage stepdaughter came out as gay at 12, by 14 she had decided she was bi, now she’s not sure.

Yep, I knew I was bi around 12 actually because I had crushes on boys and girls

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Yes it is possible to know what your attracted to at that age. It is also possible that it could change later or expand. Either way your child needs to know that you love and support them no matter what.

Support her either way

Maturity is key, of course its possible and really, who cares?!

How old were you when you had your first crush? She could very well have a crush on a girl right now. Let her figure it out as she goes. It’s amazing that she felt comfortable enough to tell you!

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Just let her figure herself out. If she has questions answer them honestly.

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Just support her. Let her figure herself out. She might be gay, she might not be. What she needs is to know she’s loved and supported.

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I knew I was bi at 11

I knew long before I was 12 that I was bi … but everyone is different. Just don’t focus too much on labels and just be there for her through it. Make sure that she knows that you love and support her no matter what. :two_hearts:

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I would say yes. Twelve is when a lot of people start their first relationships. I would say that by that age they would know, or at least have a slight idea, of what their sexual orientation is.

Just be supportive. She might not be, but if she is this could be a serious turning point in your relationship if you respond wrong.

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Well some knew since they are little that they don’t like boys or see boys the same way. So yes it’s most likely possible.

Yes and be proud and supportive of her! I think it’s possible at any age, I had a friend in elementary school who knew he was “different” from the boys but he would embrace it… today he is openly gay! He knew it back then

My son came out to me at 10 so absolutely! And I’ve talked to others in the lgbtq+ community and most say they knew very early on but didn’t feel comfortable coming out till they were much older so take that as a win mama because that means you have made your daughter comfortable enough to know that you will be there for her and still love her regardless :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Basically she felt comfortable letting you into her inner world :wink::two_hearts:

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At this time in her life she likes girls. That could change but more than likely won’t. Just let her know that regardless of what gender she’s attracted to you support her.

I think its great shes told you and hasn’t hidden it. Are you asking so you know how you can support her or you looking for judgement? Might have to clear it up for the angry birds in here judging you before knowing the reason for your question.

Does it really matter? Maybe she likes Susie, maybe she likes Michael. As long as she’s OK with it, it’s not really a big deal imo…

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I have friends that we all knew they were gay in elementary school. And so did they. Not all. But some just know they are different. Just love and answer questions best you can.

My 11 year old step daughter has came out to us and I believe yes, you can know your sexual orientation by that age. If no one questions a child that age about having crushes on boys (meaning she likes boys) why would it be any different with a girl?

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I knew I was attracted to girls at a very young age, maybe 9 or 10. Didn’t really understand it, but I think you should listen to her feelings and support her. She might be gay, bi, straight, etc. But right now is her time to feel those emotions and figure it out. Be proud that she told you! :blush:

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Maybe maybe not… I came out as gay at about 15. Fast forward 20 years and I’m happily married to a man lol. Sexual orientation can be confusing :joy:

It’s absolutely possible. I knew at 12 that I liked boys. I think she knows if she likes girls. No one would really question a 12 year old girl for liking boys, you know? Support her. Love her.

I’ve always said I don’t care whether my daughter loves Charlie or Chelsie as long as they treat her right.

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My son identified as transgender almost a year and a half ago when he was 11, and is still figuring out his sexuality - he’s fairly certain he’s bi, if not pansexual, and he’s now almost 13. The key is here is not to question or doubt, but to make sure she knows without question that you love her and support her unconditionally, no matter WHAT. No judgement, no doubt, she needs to know that you are her safe place. There is no age limit when it comes to kids/teens trusting themselves and knowing who they are, and the worst you thing you could do is push her away or make her feel like she’s not good enough.

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Just support her. And that’s around puberty and if she feels attracted to the same sex or both then so be it. I personallybwouldnt make too much a thing of it, just support her. There are groups that are very supportive too. My niece changed genders recently at 6 years old. I’m a little weirded out, but I’m supportive.

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No she’s just going through hormone changes and things can get confusing at that age with classmates and friends. It really doesn’t matter it’s not like she should be dating or sexually active at this age. Just let her focus on school and herself, no need to put labels on anything right now. And be watchful of her friends and people who are influencing her right now. She’s got plenty of time to figure things out no rush she is only 12.

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Tbh some kids did know from even younger than this but it took them another few years before they realised what all these feeling where , my daughter who is now 16 said she was gay at 11 and hated boys then ended up with a wee boyfriend when she was 14/15 they when she turned 16 it was girls she liked and now has a girlfriend, so I think some kids know from a young age and some kids don’t but all u can do it be there to support her and her decisions and make sure she is happy within herself x

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I’m so lost when it comes to “this” because how old were we all when we all had our first crush ?
I have always told my children this if “boy” had a girlfriend you would bring her home and introduce us to her so if boy had a boyfriend why wouldn’t it be the same way .

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Be soft and neutral about it. Support her in whatever it is she thinks she wants and let her know you are always there for her to talk to

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I had a boy crush at 10, well, my family was a bit worried when I was younger because I am really boyish but I know I’m straight girlygirl deep inside. :joy::joy::joy:

I consciously knew I liked both males and females at 12/13. I didn’t know what it meant, how I was supposed to feel about it etc. but I knew that’s what I was attracted to.
I didn’t come out officially until much later like 20’s. Not because of family they were all very supportive my entire life, I just never felt I had to come out. :woman_shrugging:t2:

But also I am still this way today and I am 28.

Since I was 3 I’ve been bi.

Idk. I’d acknowledge but not fully. Middle school and early hs I feel lord said they were and then ended up not being.

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I had friend growing up and she swore in the 2nd grade that she liked girls.
I never believed her and just went on about our friendship. We were young.
Coming up into middle school she tried soo hard to date guys. But it never worked out for her.
High school she finally found herself.
She started dating a girl.
And it clicked.
She completely threw guys out the window​:joy::woman_shrugging:t3:
Sometimes after high school she went to therapy and found that she would be happier as a male.
She met with many doctors for a sex changes etc.
she moved away to be closer with her father after her mother passed.
But I tell you what, I should have just believed her in the 2nd grade.

Just tell your daughter okay. And tell her you’ll love her unconditionally.
MAYBE ask her if she would like to speak with a therapist to see if that’s truly and option for her. (Please don’t try to change her!)
And maybe as she gets older it’ll be a thing of the past. (Around that age kids really like to explore) but maybe she really is.
But no matter what, love her💕

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Why does it matter? Just support and love her no matter what. She’ll be fine as long as she knows that she is loved and supported unconditionally.

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Just be supportive and be there for whatever she needs.

does it matter at this age or any age?

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Honestly, even straight people need to stop worrying about dating and sex and love relationships at such a young age. Just be a kid and learn about the world and develop your character. I literally recommend not getting into a serious relationship until you’re in your mid to late 20’s. It’s just a waste and gets in the way of real stuff we should be doing. And it usually messes us up in one way or another :rofl::rofl::sweat_smile:

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Every younger kid is pretty much bi these days.

I knew I like both genders when I was 8. It’s entirely possible.

Yup. I was always interested in both sexes. Unfortunately I have a homophobic father who made me feel like shit for it.