So my husband and I r 23 yrs apart… He just got custody of his two other kids who r only 8 and 4 on Jan 28th. They are very smart and mature for their ages. There mother, who lives 5hrs away in ILLINOIS we live in Ohio. She has supervised visitation and has to set them up herself and come here for them… But yet has NOT set anything up and has a video called them a handful of times threw FB messager which both children don’t really talk during calls that last maybe 3 to 4 mins. They have adjusted VERY well here and have said many times on their own they r a lot happier in Ohio. My point is to this post is if she doesn’t set any visits up to see them, can ur rights get terminated at all?. If anything would ever happen to my husband. I would want custody of them… We have a VERY awesome lawyer and guardian on r side. We will be talking to r lawyer, but for a meeting, it’s 160 lol and can’t afford it at this time. They are seeing if any step mom’s been through any of this personally.
I don’t think parental rights can be terminated for that. But definitely talk to your lawyer about custody if god forbid something happens
I know in Tennessee they won’t even if they aren’t “using” their visitation… my mother has custody of my 5 year old niece who’s father sees her maybe once ever 3 months if that. He also is always behind of child support and they still won’t take his rights…
I believe 2 years without contact you can terminate and adopt. Ever state may vary
Think she would have to prof of being a bad mother and have 0 contact( talk or see them) for close to a year n they might take them away…
Is there a real reason you want her rights taken?
In ohio a year with no contact I’d considered abandonment. You can file to adopt them and they will notify the mother. She will have a chance to appeal the adoption but the judge makes the final call. I dated a guy who’s rights were terminated by the judge for failure to see his kids…so they could be adopted.
at this point, there’s proof there that the only type of cisitation she’s done is through short term calls. he can file for sole physical custody in his state and if she doesn’t show up(seems like she won’t) then it’ll in fact be granted to him.
Not right away but eventually the courts will take the parents rights away (if they are foster kids, I’d assume the same for any other)
Nope. She’ll have to sign her rights away.
Where I live in New Hampshire after 6 months with no visits no calls no child support . You can file for termination of rights because of abandonment at court house.
Its different for every state but in Illinois its a yr of no contact u can file abandonment and have her rights revoked.
Not a step mom but I am a mother. My ex went 3 years without calling or visiting my older 3 kids. He never sent anything for bdays or Christmas and only paid child support when it was garnished from his check. I hired a lawyer and I terminated his rights and my current husband adopted them. It didn’t take much when he tried to defend his actions all he had was a bunch of excuses. He couldn’t tell the courts anything about his kids. So if you hire a lawyer make sure you have all your ducks in a row. But feel free to reach out if you would like more information on different steps you will have to take. Good luck
You cant terminate for that reason. Sounds like u r young and just need to take a seat. Mom has the right to call. Sounds like u just want to be the only woman in their life. Have your own baby
see if she’ll sign away her rights so you can adopt
18 months of no contact at all
They won’t terminate her rights just for non visitation.
Then the rights can be terminated. But even a call counts
This happened with my daughter… her dad stopped seeing her when she was 6. Went to court 6 years later because court pursued his back child support… and they just granted me sole custody. They won’t terminate rights though unless someone else is stepping in to adopt them.
In Ohio it has to be a year with no contact and no child support before they’ll even consider it and even then she can fight it, not saying by that point she’d have a chance but she can try
My daughters bio dad has been in prison since she was 2 but because he has attempted to contact her in the last 18 months I can’t do anything
In who one year no contact I was able to term baby dadys rights he didnt want to pay child support on a terminally ill child
Give her time, she’s just lost her kids, they don’t really wanna video chat which I can’t blame them, and mum prob feels same, you live 5hrs from her that a 10hr trip maybe she’s working things out, get ur partner to msg, ask if she’s ok
Not quite the same situation but, a friend of mine, her brothers wife had a kid from previous who didn’t really have any contact with his dad any more, they also had a kid together, they raised both kids as a family and she took I’ll with cancer, unfortunately she died and all of a sudden the kids dad tried to take custody of him, they fought it out in court and my friends brother won, the bio dad didn’t even turn up to the last hearing and as far as I’m aware hasn’t bothered to maintain regular contact.
Hasn’t even been a full month that you had them and you are already trying to take her rights away???
You live 5 hours away
Thats 10 hours round trip
Maybe she is trying to get time off and be able to see them for a few days in a row
Think you need to slow your roll there
I’m from Canada but I also read in some states you can file for Abandonment after year if there’s no contact or child support payments being made, as for giving up her rights she would have to file herself ( in Canada that is )
But you can’t terminate a mother or fathers right for that reason.
I hope that helps
It takes time… but yes keep records of EVERYTHING…
No. And you don’t want to do that.
Look into your state laws usually it is 6 months to a yr with zero contact which includes video chats. Anytime she contacts it starts the timer all over.
If she video chats them they wont take away her rights. It’s not abandonment if she calls them. You have to have a full year of no contact(calls or letters count as contact) before you can pursue abandonment charges.
First of all your age difference is irrelevant
Secondly it’s been 2.5 weeks, that is not enough time for ANYONE (not even the children) to fully adjust to the new arrangement
Finally her rights will NOT be terminated if she is making any sort of effort
You cannot adopt the kids without her consent. If something happens to your husband the bio mom can come get them This is Oklahoma law
So Mom has had contact with her children 5 times (through video chats) in less than a month but hasn’t seen them, correct (I’m reading your post on 2/18/2020). Do you know why she hasn’t seen them? Is lack of money, a job, lack of transportation, etc preventing her from traveling to your state right now to see her kids? Maybe she is doing the best that she can right now and all she can do is the video calls. I just question why after only a couple of weeks you are already talking about terminating her rights.
It hasnt even been a month! Are you for real? Unless she is a major hazzard to those kids then back off and mind your business
Those kids love their mama . Period
Good lord. You sound evil.
1 year without contact is considered abandonment in Ohio… after that you can adopt them… have your husband or you write down when she contacts them and how often… document EVERYTHING it will help you
Every state is different. In Virginia you can’t terminate rights unless there is serious neglect. My 1st daughters father has lost visitation due to not following the court order, but they’ve set things he needs to do to be able to get it back (which in my case would never happen)
Look into abandonment requirements for your state.
Here it’s six months no contact no support, then u can start the process
That being said… It’s been a very short time. I hope you’re just asking for future reference
My husband is step dad to my children. Their dad wants to terminate his rights, so my husband will be adopting them. Bio dad is in IL, and we live in NC now. They haven’t seen/talked to bio dad in a VERY long time. The only reason it’ll be so simple for us is because bio dad wants his rights terminated.
Y’all are being kinda rude… I think it would be something to look into because like she said if something happened to their father they would be ripped out of her life and the life they know and thrown into a brand new situation. Maybe you can look into adoption? Or something along those lines that make you a guardian
Ya need to put the kids first not what is easier or better for you. And you trying to separate their mom out of picture will not be appreciated by them later in life. Even if it’s just 3 minutes here and there that’s their mom and it’s another avenue of support and love you should appreciate not ridicule.
Put the kids first. Appreciate and be grateful for every loving adult in their life.
I had to petition the court for custody rights. We go in 2 weeks. He is a truck driver and she is in jail. I have had the kids 95% of the time for the last 4 years.
You’re illiterate and selfish.
Sorry if you were so concerned about the kids you would take the kids to see her or meet her halfway. It hasn’t even been a month lady.
Why the fuck would you want to terminate her rights just for not visiting x amount of times? Get real.
WOW… i am sure there are some phenomenal step parents out there… but damn… back up! Not your children. Who the heck are you to want to terminate her rights? HAVE YOUR OWN DAMN CHILDREN.
Seriously no child deserves to not see or talk to mother if she not a fit to have actual visitation keep it over video for while don’t do that to children not right when there older they will hate u and wonder what kind evil person could even do that that claims to love them but can take there own mother away and turn it on her fault not right atleast let them once week or on occasion see over video until she gets her stuff together and works a plan out with actual visits than the kids have something to nomof there mom and when there old enough they can choose if they want keep her around
It hasn’t even been a month???
It would depend on the state but it would mostly likely have to be no contact for way over a month. I’m guessing video calls would count as contact. I would also guess she could argue hardship since she lives so far away. It definitely wouldn’t be easy and a lawyer would be your best bet to find out what actually needs to happen.
It’s been less then a damn month and you are talking about a 10 hour round trip! Which would require a reliable vehicle, time off work, and money! Maybe she is struggling with one of the three! Come here and cry again when it’s been 3 1/2 years with no visit, phone call, or letter like it has been for my step son!
I’m sorry but I think you need to back TF up and have/worry about your own kids!
Or help Mom visit them!
I don’t know you, but I already don’t like you 🤷
Not even a month has passed and you are jumping to terminate rights…wtf. Sounds more like you want to play Mommy and she’s in the way. At least she’s trying. What you are trying to do is ridiculous and will hurt the kids more than help them. That is their mother. Respect that and don’t cross that line.
Its been like 3 weeks. Your kinda jumping the gun dont ya think?
In our state 3 days with out hearing from a mother we can file abandonment on them.
I’d put all that energy into helping the children see their mother. It’s been such a short period of time. Why are you so quick to assume cutting their mom out is beneficial.
If she is still video calling them she is involved in some way and no they won’t take her rights.
Get one of those free consultations from a lawyer
It’s not even been a month… 5 hours each way is not easy and to expect her to be able to do so on whim is ridiculous. You have to give her time. I’m sure she’s not able to drive 10 hours in a day for a couple hour visit. Know better do better. He got custody, good for y’all, but you need to chill. Just because he has custody does NOT mean she isn’t their mama. I will never understand this way of thinking.
You need to put yourself aside and get this mom and her kids time. You are working way to fast to get rid of this mother. The kids are probably hurt. They deserve time . Sorry the time frame doesnt work around you. I’d see if you said it’s been a year or 2 and mom abandoned them. But this is like a month into a huge change.
Yall have no idea about the history of their mom. So stop jumping down her throat. She lost custody for a reason. Smh
For 1 it’s not considered abandonment if she is still in contact with them. Even by phone. Each state is different too. It’s been like 3 weeks too, you have to give her time to get arrangements made to some see them. It’s not like she can just jump in the car at any given moment and come see them. It takes planning by most people. Get a plan in place but dont try taking her kids away for no real reason. Kids may be happy there , BUT she is still there mama and I’m sure they don’t wanna never see her again.
You sound petty. Just sayin. Why not try to help have their mother in their lives instead of killing off the idea. You give women a bad name.
It takes A LOT for a judge to completely terminate parental rights. Restrictions are more likely
Yes they can .just like the father .if they not payed child support or seen them
I know in ohio that 90 days i think of zero contact you can go to the courts and file abandonment charges. But if she is at least video calling I know cases where that’s counted as contact. Call your local job and family and ask them.
No you can’t take her rights away just over visits those supervised visits are also expensive and could be a barrier to her seeing the kids as long as she stays in some contact you can’t terminate her rights. If she goes over a year with absolutely no contact thru mail phone visits ECT… Then you could try to terminate her rights but if she fights it your out of luck
Honestly it hasent even been a month. Give her time. 1st she lost custody of her children which i imagine is hard for her. 2nd she may not have the funds to make a 5 hr trip there and back at the moment. Give her time to get it together and make arrangements. Try talking to her and find out her reason for not setting up the visits. Her making video calls to the children is still showing effort on her part.
First stop how old are the kids secondly if she’s having issues and trying to get help that takes money and time let her have it kids need to know that they’re not abandoned by their mom be the mess best mom you can be but still don’t take their real mom because it will mess with their heads later now she’s bad news doesn’t get help nothing but trouble yes it is time to take action you have to file abandonment which means she has to have no contact no video chats nothing as long as she’s doing this that’s not abandonment also you may ask for child support if she does not pay that that is also an issue
I know in Indiana, it would be a fight unless she was obviously negligent, abusive, etc. As far as I know, they will only take rights away if she’s not attempted any visitations or contact for a year. (This is just how it was when my brother’s friend adopted his wife’s daughter.)
Well it hasnt even been a month it has to be a yr in most states to get abodement but she still contacts threw messenger so she hasnt technically stopped contacting them so you cant do nothing bout it cuz as long as she talks to them on ft or phone she is good an thats rude to even try that right now give her a chance you dont no her situation with rides you did mention ur 5 hrs away maybe she cant afford that right now my daughters father lives 1hr an 15 mins away he supposed to get her every week on Thursday an bring her back on Sunday but she is 12 an in school so he comes when ever he can or if my daughter wants to go we sometimes meet half way like its tuff
I live in Ohio and I had to prove that there was no parent involvement of any kind. Including financial. For three years. That meant no contact of any kind as well. Phone, physical, email, mail…etc. Also had to prove that you are 50% paying everything for the children in those 3 years.
ARE.
OUR.
Ffs. You can type out all the other words except for that?!
She would have to agree to sign her rights away. They won’t just get terminated automatically. And then you’d have to go through the process of adopting the children if you want custody of them if something happened to their dad (which is a weird thing to ask about to be honest given they have a mom)
Wow…it’s been less than a month, she HAS contacted them, and it’s a 5 hour drive…🤦 Give her some time.
You all need to support or at least not jump down her throat…you don’t know her exact situation, or what she is going thru, and for all of you to shame her is messed up… as for the mom who asked the question if with in 6 mos she has not made an attempt to see her kids than I would talk to the court or a lawyer about terminating her rights but only if she had not made any serious attempts to contact or see her kids cause that is concidered abandonment. How ever you have to remember that she is there mama good/bad/indifferent she is there mom and they love her… so before you make any big decisions make sure you doing what is in the best interests of the children. If it’s just you who feels this way than that is a very selfish reason but if there are a handful of people that can be on Your side see what’s going on and can honestly say that she is not involved than I hope you do get to adopt those babies just make sure it’s what’s best for them
Maybe she can’t afford to actually get transportation to see them. 5 hours is a long way and who knows what her work situation is.
It’s only been 2 weeks. She has had contact with them. You’re jumping the gun at trying to steal these kids from their mother. I really hope her loosing custody & being granted only supervised contact is warranted by her behavior. Yours is making me think it wasn’t. You’re very quick to take these kids from their mom. Shes going through a lot of emotional pain right now. Seeing her kids is probably painful as it is. But she is making an effort.
The real question is what does your husband the father of these children want to do? Is this what you want or him?
Why are women so in a rush to try and steal another woman’s child? These kids are probably struggling to deal with being away from their mother as well, kids clam up when overwhelmed with strong emotions and sadness.
Ok it sucks but video calls count as contact. My stepsons mom only has to write a letter once a month or send him candy and that’s enough contact. If you want her rights terminated then you have a long battle they are 8 and 4. Here in Indiana child has to be 12 to say he doesn’t want to go
Is it court ordered visitation if it is u need to report that she hasnt shown im not quite sure whatwould happen after that every state has different steps. Most states have to have evidence thats shes unfit n not complete court orderings…but for the fact she has made a video call here n there i doubt they will terminate.
Probably best if you leave it alone the way it is. The kids will make the decision when they get older. If they don’t want to talk to her or see her they won’t no matter what decision has been made for them. Just love them and treat them like your own.
If it was over a yr
But a month
Gosh damn🙄
If you have a very good lawyer why cant you afford the 160 to talk to him? Anywho… Dont take her kids away. She just lost physical custody and is 5hrs from her kids. Give her time to make arrangements to see them, or help her see them
I would talk with a lawyer and see about getting the process started now just so if anything does happen you know the kids won’t have to go threw that kind of stress if she’s unfit and can’t take care of the children it might be best for them to stay in a stable home that they are adjusted to
In Kansas if you have not paid child support or have seen your kids over a month you can go to court and the judge can take your rights away
Have you tried meeting half way at a place where they can visit for a couple of hours
Ask your awesome lawyer.
10 hrs round trip is a lot of gas and possibly a hotel room.
Chill
It would depend on the state. But given the distance and the fact that it’s only been three weeks since you received them and physical visitation has to be set through an outside source… And the fact that she has video chatted.
The chances of you getting her rights terminated are slim.
As well they should be slim…terminating rights cannot be undone. Its way different than gaining custody or guardianship. To do so means that the circumstances have to be very extreme and no hope of noncustodial parent “rehabilitating”
Just the fact that you’re bragging about having an awesome lawyer makes me think that you’re wanting this more for you than the children. Which is at the very least concerning.
In Texas they have to be completely absent, no visits or no attempt made to see or contact them for like 2 years before rights are terminated. Not sure on that timeline, but if she’s making any kind of effort rights are not terminated.
How about call the court and saying can I take them to her now and then and we meet where’s she’s lives.
Where I live the other parent has to give up rights! Then adopt! For example, my husband’s nephew his child was took from him, gave to his brother and his wife! But can’t fully adopt because the parents has not actually gave up rights! And this child went from dump to millions as a baby. My friend she adopted her husband’s son after the mother said she didn’t want him and fully gave up her rights! Also my mother adopted a daughter of mine because she was seriously suck as a baby a needed all sorts of things done to stay alive, my parents helped me, but had her so long I said I’ll sign my Rights over and they adopted her!
23 years apart? Did I read that right? God knows it was hard to understand any part of this post- looks like it was written by a ten year old 
Maybe the mother will get herself straightened out soon and figure out a way for her and her children. You shouldn’t take her kids and God forbid the father passed away, the mother may not stand a fighting chance. Leave it alone and pray for her.
Stay in your lane. It’s been two freaking weeks!
she is their mother. If she can’t get there, it could be a financial problem, just like you paying for your great lawyer is a bit much for you guys right now. Let it be, If you force this, it just might back fire on you later in life. Let it go. She is trying to kept in touch with them, so she is trying.
There family on both sides get first option to have custody if husband dies. Hope he doesn’t. That has nothing to do with mother loosing rights.
Keep a written record on a calender of all the visits she misses n her phone calls.
If she has regular contact with them no, no one will just take rights away. And second for the phone calls. Who cares how long they talk or if they seem interested. You are there to simply support their relationship with her and nothing else. Be sure all distractions are off. They are still so young phone calls arent cool. My 10 year old step daughters have times when they talk and talk and talk to their mom when they are on the phone and other times they could careless. And careful what u bring up she can simply state she needs to meet half way and the courts will allow it. Its technically what happens when parents live in different states u meet half way.
I bet that really good lawyer had something to do with her kids being taken from her… If this mother was truly unfit I’m happy for the kids. But jumping to terminating her rights so quickly makes your intentions seem bad. I bet shes going through a lot right now and you w living so far away makes it hard for her to follow through with everything. How about this: dont anticipate stealing this woman’s children entirely from her. It’s wrong. Help her see those kids. Shes their mother! Even if she is unfit at the moment, help her to become fit! You will never replace her. There is no fancy lawyer in the world that could help you replace mom.
Why dont you think of the kids that’s their true mom even if dad took the kids from her yall be mature dont take their mom from them you can be their mom too but think when kids get older and it Flys. By they will remember so yall do right by these kids mom has problems right now just Let it be you be good to those kids and they in turn. Will Love you and if it’s meant to be probally will have more Respect and love for you because you raised them