So my partner and I are separating. We are not married. We have a child together and another on the way. I sent out an application to the AOG (attorney general office) to get child support. We do not have a court order yet. So it’s just the application I sent off. We have decided to make the payments without trying to involve the AOG, but how do I go about it? Do I call and withdraw my application? Since there is no court order set out, I was wondering if that would even be a possibility. Can anyone shine some light on this situation for me? I’m in Texas btw if that helps.
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Either call the office or go up there and tell them you want to stop it.
I think it would be a bad idea to stop it. Just saying from past experiences
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Bad idea I wouldn’t stop it
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I wouldn’t stop it. I had an agreement with my ex-husband. He changed his mind a few years later. I had to go back to court to get it withheld from his wages. Protect your children by keeping it.
I wouldn’t stop it. It is a back up. Ur X stays doing the right thing no harm no foul.
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I wouldn’t stop it. You should be able to come to an agreement on how much you want him to pay if you’d rather agree on it together. But if it’s court ordered it isn’t stipulated. He can’t get mad at you and not pay. Or control you with it
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In Australia you can do a private agreement but it has to equal the same amount through the child support agency
My advice… don’t stop it. Your situation may be stable now but who knows what the future holds. When my X and I divorced he had a solid job and child support came monthly without fail for 5 years. He is an alcoholic, lost his job, lost his home and child support obviously stopped. Just because his life was in the gutter didn’t mean mine had too be. I wasn’t the one hounding him for payments… it was the states responsiblity to collect and still is. If I hadn’t insisted on going through the state i would have no legal recourse in the future to collect.
I am in Missouri but I tried that with my ex and they told him that any payment outside of the office like an agreement between us would be considered a gift from him to me so the money he gave me wouldn’t count as CS
Do not stop it. Chances are he will say all the right things for now. My ex husband was court ordered to set up a joint account instead of child support, and that was six months ago. He has done nothing in regards to helping me with the children. Save your self the control battle of paying when he wants and just proceed with it.
Bad idea. You need to have everything in writing. People change, get remarried, new relationships, etc. Nope. Put your agreement in writing.
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Don’t stop it! There needs to be a legal plan in place for the noncustodial parent to adhere to his or her obligation to take care of the child. It doesn’t mean there has to be any discord or animosity between the two of you. It is just a safeguard for the care of your child.
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OK depending on the state where you live if your child and soon to be child is I medicaid you actually have to go through the whole thing. My daughter had a baby she is not with the guy actually he is in jail. But for her child to stay on medicaid she has to go through the whole entire motion and file no matter what
I’d keep the child support. It would benefit both you and your ex to keep it court ordered and everything documented. I have seen guys get screwed over by exes claiming they never got money from them. Then they ended up having to pay out even more. Plus who ever pays the child support it can sometimes help with their taxes using that as a deductible. It benefits you so that if you are getting any health insurance and assistance from Gov’t they will not be taken away. Most states are now requiring that if parents aren’t living together in the same household and arent combining income with marriage that someone has to paid child support, if the kids stay with you full time than he pays if they stay with their dad full time you pay. Just keep it. It will save you a lot trouble in the long run. It is always best to have a paper trail that way no one will be accused of anything. Definitely try to look into your local laws reguarding child support medical benefits and all that.
Call or go there. But I wouldn’t stop it…
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You can tell them that you’ve made an agreement between the two of you for child support payments. And that’s great for the people that who can do that…if he’s been a good father to your first child and gives you what you needed and does what’s right then you guys could possibly work it out. But, I would still go to the court.
Let it go through then it’s on file for all involved;”) some day they’ll do things n that don’t always get followed through ?
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From personal experience, put it through the system. It helps you both
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His “next” wont want him to pay…
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If you get any type of assistance through the government they automatically ask for child support in Ohio. Not saying you’re getting it just letting you know. Could be different there.
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Dont stop it proceed, the guy will change his mind and you will be left alone to take care of the kids alone
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Private agreements between the two sounds wonderful, it never work save yourself a lot of trouble and make it legal now.
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In Texas once the application is sent in they will send you an appointment for a mediation. This is where you will both go and they tell you how much he will pay. If you do not show up they will make a decision for you.
When you stop the enforcement of child support it only stops the state from going after them. The child support still racks up. The only way to completely stop it is to hire a lawyer and have it reversed.
from my personal experience , don’t stop it.
you might have a good heart and think he has a good intention, this is for your child not for his benefit so if he stops paying for any reason you will be sorry.
Let it be legalized and that way there is no disagreement or misunderstanding in the future it’s 18 yrs of this , it’s better he let u be a mommy than his accountant n so on.
Once you take it off the courts you will be at his mercy
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Just tell them but it will not count if he doesn’t pay threw the courts. They do not care unless the money goes threw them to you
Im in Texas. I filed for support when my ex and I were separated right before we got back together. It was a pain in the ass. We still had to show up to court and sat there for about a half hour signing papers to have the case closed.
And I was also told by someone I spoke to over the phone that they wouldnt close the case if the kids are on medicaid
Make sure to get it in writing. Not only money is involved. Agree now, in writing who gets to spend holidays with the kids, Birthday parties, family events for both sides. Schools, college, sports, extras like dance, music etc. who pays what medical bills, agreement on choice of dental, medical or other care provider. If you work, how is child care paid for. There is a lot to talk about beside money. Get it ALL in writing AND signed by court. You can thank me in 18- 20 years. If he isn’t man enough to demand visitation now, he WILL NOT pay child support later.
I wouldn’t stop it if I were you, what if sometime down the road he has a new partner and or if you both have a falling out that causes him to not want to give you anymore money for your kids? Keep everything as it is to avoid any possible issues in the future.
Always go through the court
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I don’t know about your country Bt here wea I am I tried that last year it worked bt from June I have not received anything from baby daddy n I think am done reminding him of his responsibility
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Make it legal, that child support order comes with a custody order as well. In Texas, he can do whatever with the kids, it’s called parenting. At least, with an order already in place, there can be recourse. Also, if you intend on using public benefits, they’ll collect child support. Might as well get it going.
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Court tried to make me file on my husband when we divorced. They wouldn’t sign the decree without it. I didn’t ask for it or want it, but they insisted. I used to send affidavits saying he was current (I got them from attorney general website). After 3 or 4 times, they sent me a nasty note saying they can’t enforce child support if I don’t make him pay through their system. I didn’t need them— he was a good man and paid on his own. Eventually. They made good on their “threats” to not work for me and closed me account. I laughed and threw the paper away. Ps I’m in Texas, and No Medicaid or gvt benefits were being used in my case!
You’d be a complete fool if you close the case based on his word he’s gonna pay you 
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Listen to the people that say don’t stop it.
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Dont stop it! He can not pay you at any given time, and without that order, you cant do anything about it. Be smart for your child!!!
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DON’T STOP IT. Even if he promises to always pay etc. GET THE CS ORDER.
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Get the paperwork done regardless, no hassle if it does not work out. In Canada no one will intervene without a court order to pay
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Follow through with the court order ! If he doesn’t pay, ups have a choice: enforce it or not.
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Go through the Courts. Make it legal. People change; even people with good intentions.
I’ve worked for many attorneys; it almost Never works out in the long run without a court order. You will thank yourself later.
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Go through with it ! If you don’t you can bet you will find yourself reapplying and wishing you would have went through with it the first time !
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Do NOT withdraw request. You may be on wonderful terms. Keep it that way. Setting up support payments through the DA, you will never have to worry about a late or missed payment.
TRUST ME WHEN I SAY…NO GUY EVER HOLDS UP THEIR END ON A NON COURT ORDERED CHILD SUPPORT. Go through the courts and make it legal. You won’t regret that.
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When I was taking my ole man to court for support I changed my mind and tried to cancel it and I was told that I had to go in front of the judge even just to drop the claim so basically it’s out of your hands you have to go anyway listen to what the judge says you will more than likely be much better off
This is great to see! It’s ALWAYS better to work it out without the courts. I did the same thing with the father of my children. I never took him to court. We agreed on an amount. He pays on the 1st of every month and I allow him to see his children whenever he likes. It’s how it SHOULD be. Good for you!
Always go through the courts. Always. It might be good now, but it protects you the kid and in a way the ex. That way he’s always held responsible. Knows what to expect.
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If children are on government assistance you and the babies father won’t have any choices. He WILL have to pay support in MN. I guessing it’s the same or similar elsewhere.
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My 1st ex husband and I came upon a mutual agreement. I wrote the terms of our agreement regarding child support & the court signed off. Never again did we argue about child support.
Depending on what state you live in if you apply for any food stamps or state provides health care it s required that you apply for child support
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It’s called a mutual agreement you don’t have to go thru the agencies here in Australia check your states rules
Don’t stop it!! I made the mistake of taking child support out of the courts and relying on his word because he got his license taken. HUGE mistake ! He still sends it but it’s the same amount as 9 yrs ago. I can’t find him now and when he sends checks the return address is my mother’s… I’m owed alot more and would be getting it if I kept in the courts. DO NOT TAKE IT OUT OF THE COURTS !
For Christ’s sake. Stop having children!!
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Go through with the court order! You’ll kick yourself in the ass later when things don’t go on a word that isn’t kept. I can’t tell you how many women fall for this shit. Be wise, be very very wise.
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Your partner’s new partner will cut you off. Go through the courts and then you can enforce.
Nope a judge decides that.
Yes you can either call or have to appear n tell them why. Good luck
Do the paperwork he’s going to pay you a lot less than you would get paid with mandatory child support
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Poor child is a big suffer and innocently… Men are players, dont want nothing to do with child support, looking for another sex sex sex do the same daily. Men are faulted to spray sperm into and change mind ti leave… Sorry you need learn your lesson to pay for a innocently child… When child will hate you for not helps…
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Texas laws are very much a headache even when trying to get assistance and the interrogation is unbelievable? But you should be able to close the case if that’s what you choose…Best of luck cause they are very deep in asking why you wouldn’t want the help…They are very races and rude in Texas
There’s no valid reason why you should drop this. The dad has a really good reason for wanting not to involve the courts. Get the child support court ordered or you will regret it.
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And in my experience, when processed through the court system, cost of living adjustments are made without having to hire an attorney.
I know nothing of Texas child support laws or guidelines. But, if I were you I would not withdraw. Simply go to Mediation when the time comes and obtain the figures handed out by the Court. Should you decide to move forward it can come straight out of his paycheck with no issues. There will be a time when another woman comes into his life and you can be certain she will do everything in her power to get him to stop paying you so much for his kids. Just saying, stay with it for now.
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Texas has a set percent of someone’s income for child support. It can vary a little based on circumstances. One child is 20%, but I don’t remember what it is for two children. Once it’s established they can take it out of his pay directly, so you don’t have to ask for it, or not get it. They also verify what his income is what he says it is. Seriously, you will be making a huge mistake by not doing this through the OAG.
I would suggest getting court ordered child support. Then your guaranteed to get it if he’s working. You can agree on a set amount in court.
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Are you on any form of government assistance? In Indiana, if you are, they will not let you withdraw it. They will go get it for you or withhold your assistance.
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You need to do this through the courts.
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You can do whatever unless ur on government assistance.
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Do not stop it. Times and people change. If he decides to stop paying, down the road, you’ll have to start the process all over again
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I would recommend keeping it in place. To be safe. You just never know. Also in Texas if you get government assistance they will be after him on child support since they make them pay back what your taking from the government.
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Go through the courts.
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Do not stop it! People and things change over time and stopping it could come back to hurt u
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I would leave it for the court order and then tell them that you both wish to Do payments outside of support services. Just both of you keep proper documentations of money transferred if any agreement between y’all that differ from what the order states
I wouldn’t do that… just go through the courts.
You can call and they will send you a form to fill out and send back to them. My now husband and I went through that and it took a little bit and he did get money taken out of his checks but they sent a card and gave him the money back. At least in Oklahoma that’s how it went. I would call and they will be able to point you in the right direction
That way if something changes and by chance don’t get along or he refuses to pay they can go after him and wont take as long
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Don’t be fooled friend. Let them get your money , or you gonna spend the next 18 years begging this asshole for help.
You can withdraw your application. It will be a total pain in the bum.
Title IVD is ridiculously vicious on fathers. Literal debtors prison.
If you can keep your child and your two-home family out of the system- do it. Keep those greedy ass state and county wolves away from all of you.
Coparenting and communication. No place for egos. 
I would tell him it’s too late and it can’t be withdrawn and move forward with court. No matter how much you think you can trust him there’s a good chance you probably can’t. We separated slowly over a long period of time b4 finally filing for divorce, had an agreed upon visitation schedule that worked for both of us and was good for the kids, he was sending support. He sneak attacked me… By the time our custody suit settled 3yrs after our divorce finalized he secretly took me back to court for emergency sole custody 
I won in the end I have physical custody but it was a long, expensive battle and now we hate each other. Also, he’s court ordered to pay $29/wk in child support for both kids. That’s together. It’s what $136/month?
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You could put a stop to it but by putting a stop to it &he decides to not pay you’ll have to wait 3yrs to be able to put in another app… atleast that’s what happened to my mom.
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My ex had his direct deposited into my account automatically from his paycheck. The ag in Texas wouldn’t let us do that after the divorce was final. It had to go through their office to be counted as child support. It is really better for your ex anyway because anything not through there won’t be counted as child support and once it became official he would have to backpay all those months is what they told us.
I wouldn’t withdrawal it, and he shouldn’t care if he is willing to pay. Times and people change. This way it’s better for both of you. Shows he’s paying and your receiving. And no one can say different. Let it go threw and keep it in place. Like I said better for both of you in long run.
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Just want to say I’m glad you guys are able to come to agreement without involving enforcement. True co-parenting at its finest.
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I would go through the court to protect both of you down the road. Money always causes conflict especially when it comes to the kids.
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Keep it. As mentioned above, it’s required if you request any assistance.
It also protects you both. He finds a new chick and decides he doesn’t want to be civil anymore? You’re still covered. You decide to claim he’s not done anything for his child when going for more custody? He’s covered. It keeps a log of payments that protects both of you
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Don’t stop it. It’s so much easier when You don’t need to speak to a ex about money.
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Let it go thru the courts. It’s really for both parties. It proves he pays.
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Go through the courts
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Just a word of advice…if u go thru the state/court/child support theyll do a dna test to prove paternity first…then dad will therefore have rights so if some day that could fire back on u, if he files for custody etc. Anything, there will be pretty much nothing u can do about it…ive seen more than one child pretty much stolen or ripped from their mom who theyve spent pretty much every min with since birth bc of this…courts will almost always rule in favor of dad being involved no matter how much a pos they are or how ever many yrs have passed by of them not being involved and a complete stranger
Its easier when times are bad between u two
Don’t stop it. You didn’t have them by yourself and trust me down the road things will change when it comes to paying
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Seeing you never married you may need a DNA test
Why would you stop it? A court order protects it and makes sure your child gets the child support their entitled to!
In NYS you can tell the court the amount you agree on and either have it collected through the support collection unit, which will keep track of payments for both of you, or keep track of it yourselves. You can also simply not show for court and the issue will be dismissed. (As long as neither of you show.) As others have stated, I would recommend you go to either set an amount you agree on, or have the court set it for you. The order may be helpful to one or both of you in the future, whether you each keep track of payments or allow the court to do it for you. If you fill out a loan app, for example, you can add the additional income from support, but only if you have an order with the stated amount. He may also want the order to claim a credit on his state taxes, if that’s something that’s available wherever you live, or to show some additional amount being withdrawn from his income for some future financial grant, etc. Good luck!
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It’s better to go thru court honestly
I can tell you that if there is never a order is will send payments .if parent ever applies and receives as long as child is under 18 order or not .
She’s not asking if she should withdraw it or not so keep the petty TAKE HIS MONEY comments to yourselves call the office and ask them to withdraw your application
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Why would you call it off. He should have no problems paying what he’s supposed to. Right now, it’s amicable, but it’s highly unlikely to stay that way.
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You can drop it call Court House or if there is hearing tell them you don’t want it but save all receipts and hav him get receipt from you saying its paid I did this with my ex