I have a beautiful 6 week old baby girl, right from the get go her father didn’t want to be around, now child support is chasing me for his details for him to start paying but I don’t want or need his money, is there any advice from mom’s who maybe went or are going through this? I dont feel like he needs to pay anything for a child he didnt want or has ever seen, I’m completely happy to do Support her myself
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Just say “Father unknown”
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I think to get any type of Gov assistance like health insurance or daycare you have to have this set up.
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Did you put him on the birth certificate?
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If you receive any form of assistance they will continue.
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If they will let yall go wothout then dont pursue…
If you dont want government assistance you don’t have to. If you want food stamps or medicaid, the state isn’t going to want to pay for a child who has a perfectly capable other parent who is responsible for providing financial support.
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Just terminate his parental rights
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You don’t need his child support but you need assistance? If you deny giving information they will stop your benifits unless the relationship was an abusive one which you didn’t state.
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Not sure where you live but in Minnesota if your getting any assistance help from the government you have to also get child support.
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Have him sign off his parental rights
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In other words your baby doesn’t need a daddy because it’s got welfare? Jesus.
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I know you said that you don’t want/need it now, but maybe one day you will. God forbid something every happen, but if it did, then you could use that money to help with food or something. Also, you could maybe put it in a bank account for your daughter, and give it to her when she is older. Just my thoughts.
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If you get any government assistance they have to open up a case. I was told that I can write a letter stating I do not want my daughters father to pay child support because he actually does pay for her and what not and they told me they will close he child support case but I won’t lose my assistance. I live in Missouri so it could be different for your state.
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He’s incarcerated works
There’s nothing wrong with a man paying his half for his child. It isn’t a rent payment; whether he’s involved or not is irrelevant. Child support goes after fathers to repay the government for welfare to that child. Plus, except in safety situations, not getting child support is just money you’re choosing not to give the child. If you don’t need it, you could put it in a bank account for when they’re older
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If you are receiving any kind of help such as wic, Medicaid, food stamps etc you have to give them his information or they will cut your benefits. If you aren’t then you don’t have to give them anything and just raise her on Your own. Congrats on your new baby.
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I co-parent and had to jump through hoops to get the father out of child support. Request a meeting to discuss your situation and the next step, but they could decide to stop your assistance for non-compliance. I wish you the best on this journey.
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Take the 
…start her a college fund…rasing a child is not easy…he has responsibility just as u do…
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Where at all did she say she gets assistance? 
If you don’t want or need it… At least take what he pays u and put into an account for your child that they can have when they get older…
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if you need food stamps, state aid, ADC, you “need” money, it’s not the state’s problem, it’s his. Give them his name. If you want to do without any benefits, keep his name a secret and do it yourself. The state was never involved in my business… because I received no benefits from the state. Once you ask for help, everything is their business, and they will either get the information or cut you off.
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In my state, even if he terminates his rights, they’ll still make him pay, even the minimum. ($250)
In some cases, if you state you don’t want support, if you ever needed Medicaid or Food Stamps, they can deny it.
It’s up to you and do what you’re comfortable with, just make sure you know what could happen. 
Congrats on the baby!!
My girls are on Medicaid and never once did they say I have to go after her father for child support. But I honestly would tell them I dont qant any money from him.
Are you supporting her or is the government? Because there’s a difference
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Wellll it’s not ABOUT you.
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I may come out wrong and I don’t apologize for it but:
You stated you don’t need his money and you can support her your self but child support would not be chasing you down for his info if you weren’t receiving government assistance!
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Most states have a ‘child’s best interest’ clause, child support fall under that. Most places will have him sign off his rights in order to get out of paying it
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What if you say you dont know who your child’s father is?
The child support is for her, she is entitled to it despite what either of you think. His interest in a relationship with her is an entirely different matter.
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Are you receiving any kind assistance from Dss? medical card or food stamps? Would he be willing to sign over his rights? My lawyer told me even though my ex-husband would sign over his rights he was still be ordered to pay child support unless someone Adopt my children later on then he wouldn’t have to pay anymore…
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Don’t fight the system. Cooperate.
Then dont include him and go it alone
it does not matter if he doesnt want to physically be there but if he didnt want to pay for a child he wouldnt have busted his nut in you… put his ass on child support…now.
If you are on state aid/insurance and refuse they can block it. If you arent, then judt say you dont want to peruse a case and that cant do anything about it. Ignore them and refuse to answer. They will drop it eventually
It’s all fine but if you don’t comply - and are applying for benefits they will sanction you (you and only you) will not qualify for benefits {food stamps, Medicaid etc} - Saying incarcerated may work but in most cases they are required to verify (and usually can). I’d say there is nothing to lose by giving his information.
If you’re receiving any government assistance they will track him down to try and use his money instead of tax money
It isn’t even about you. Get child support, if you don’t need the $ then create a bank account for her and starting putting money away for her future.
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Most times if the State is pursuing child support, its because you are getting State BENEFITS to support said child, in which case you are not supporting the child, taxpayers are, & the State will take a portion of that child support & put it towards another child whose parent dont want to “man up”.
So while you may not want his money, its not fair for him to get to be a deadbeat while hardworking people foot the bill for his child.
***& I am NOT being mean, I am watching my daughter go thru the same with her 4 month old, as she needed help when she was off for the birth & the sperm donor took off)
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Your attitude is noble, but your state, which you did not mention the name of, may have strict laws which require government to go after all absentee fathers, no matter the circumstances. God Bless.
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It’s not for you. It’s for your child.
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Child support only request information if you have government assistance, which would mean yes he need to pay up. You didn’t make the baby alone & his feelings doesn’t pay the bills so ignore all his complaints. Your still just as amazing with that additional check $$ 
he cannot slide away free of charge
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Tell Child support that you don’t know who the father is
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The moneys not for U but for his Daughter. He owes it to her. Save it for her College Fund. He has to pay until his Daughter reaches 18. She will need a lot in those 18 years. Maybe in the future U want be able to provide it all for her. Her Father needs to take responsibility for her & U need to let him.
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If the state is after you to get hisninfo- you do need assistance. No offense. You’re clearly getting help from the state and they are due their money. So you should give them his info so they can be paid.
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It’s her legal entitlement
If you filed for Medicaid it is a federal law that they have to persue child support. You cant get help from the government and not get child support from the father they wont do it. I know from experience
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Just tell your not sure who it is. 
You may not need it now but who knows what the future will hold. Take it and put it into a registered educational savings plan so college. Will be an amazing nest egg in 18 years
Use the money from him for a bank account for her if you dont want the money. It will help her when shes older! Xx
Then you cant get any state assistance
I’m not trying to sound rude in any way, but every parent likes to think/believe they can do it on their own but obstacles do happen and if you need state assistance there’s nothing wrong with that but the man laid down and made a baby, the baby is still his responsibility to. Just because he didn’t want the child doesn’t mean he didn’t lay down do the deed and create said child. Nut up or shut up in his case. Take it from a single mom of a 2 year old. Congrats on your baby.
If you’re on government assistance they require it to pay themselves back. You don’t see a dime of it directly.
My daughter is 6
I told everyone that I dont know who he is. Not a name or anything. He didnt want her. Why should he pay?
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In Alaska it’s the law to request child support from the father. I do believe in your situation even though he doesn’t see her he should still support his daughter. You may not need it now but someday you might regret not accepting the money.
I’m so glad I put on my daughters birthday certificate her father is unknown. I have raised her on my own without any child support from her dad and it was the best choice I made 17 years ago and I would do it again
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You can’t get assistance state goes after money given to you from babies father that’s why they asked for info
I hope everyone telling her to say she doesn’t know who the father is thinks it’s cool that tax payers who take care of their own kids should pay for hers. Also if she says that…in the state of NJ you have to write down all your sexual partners near the time of conception and they will contact and find out for you. Why would you like to the government to protect him meanwhile he clearly doesn’t give a shit about you or the child?
If the state is chasing for his info then you’re on gov’t assistance. They have to open a case against him. If you’re on gov’t assistance then that means you need help and it shouldn’t be the states priority to do it when there’s a father that can pay his half.
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EZ PZ… DON’T get govt assistance. If you need it then comply. It’s his kid too…or make him sign his right away
Take his money and invest it for your child,She will need to know who her father is one day and she has that right - if not now she will want to know later in life,
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As long as you aren’t applying for welfare the govt has no business who her father is. If you are looking for welfare, then yes. He needs to step up.
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If you apply for food stamps or cash, I think you have to go for child support.
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Put it in savings for her, she can’t have too much.
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take the losers money he owes his child living he doesnt have to be in her life for him to take care of his responsibilty
I know someone who declined help when situations at home changed to tried to apply for child support and was told she had previously declined it and they wouldn’t help her.
I have but I was in a domestic relationship with my daughter’s father. So I never applied for it .
Take the money and put it in a college fund. Or for when your kid is 18. It’s the kids money and they deserve it. He doesn’t have to be in their life.
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Take the money, maybe set up a direct deposit so it goes into a savings account, and let it grow till she gets older. If you dont need it, that’s fine, but he can at least do right by her, even if he doesnt actually know it’s going to a savings account
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The only reason child support would be doing that is if you were on any form of state assistance.
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If youre on state benefits, it may be required for you to do child support. When i lived in wisconsin they threatened to take away my insurance while pregnant if i didnt tell them his info. Even tho i had pressed charges against him in the past for domestic violence
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You sound like a Wonder woman! That’s right u don’t need a man to raise and support ur child. That’s what a mother’s job is to support her child. If you don’t want to and u can support ur own child than go ahead girl! No reason to take his pay check if u don’t need it
There is a reason why its called child support. Just have the money for her education. Its not for you anyways.
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Take it!! Its rightfully hers, save it for her or if u ever become short xx
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I tried to do the same thing and my attorney told me I couldn’t,said it wasn’t MY right to refuse support for the child.I know it sucks but they will penalize you for non compliance with their request.Give them the details they want&let them fight with him,YOU have better things to do girl!Enforcement talks a good game but really they probably won’t make it a priority&they will have to fight with him,could take years.Its ok Mama,you will get through it,make your baby your focus,not some tool that doesn’t care.Hang in there!
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If you are getting state assistance you have to tell them…that’s the only reason they would be coming after you…
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You can always decline it.
In NC, you have the option to cancel the case, but the catch is, if you ever want to put him on it in the future, you have to go through a lawyer. I went through this with my youngest, except her dad was and is in the picture
If it’s bc your on state assistance just tell them you dont know who it was. Could be between more than one and you don’t know where they are anymore.
Take it and make her a savings or a rainy day fund. You never know when you may need a little extra money. Maybe (hopefully not) she may need braces one day.
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Tell them you don’t know who the father is. Tell them you were going thru something and had a bit of a promiscuous time and your not sure who all could even possibly be the father
Tell him what’s going on & “Settle” it out of court then just come to an understanding that he actually doesn’t have to pay it so the state will be off your back.
Say you don’t know who the father is
If you don’t need it then why would child support be in your life
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You can get help from the state with out getting chilid support. But only if you tell them you dont know who the dad is and have no way of finding out. Like saying a drunk one night stand. And you dont remember. But you already told the state who the dad is now there going to go after him even if you dont want it. Just take the money and set it aside as a college fund for your kid.
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Are you on any state run aid? Food stamps, health care? Because if thats the case you need to give them the info
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Then you should not have seeked public assistance. You want taxpayers to support your child but not the man who helped make it. Rethink your decisions .
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I love this. But here is an idea. Take the money. Start a savings account in her name and put that money in it. On her 18th birthday surprise her with a college fund
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Why would the tax payers want to pay if you are on assistance
U can decline it. Ur baby does not need the support if u can provide for her urself. Also in the state I live in once child support ia started then the dad has every right to ur baby amd cam have visitations
Just take him for support
Usually they don’t care unless you are getting some kind of social services so that would be my question to you. Are you receiving any type of help? Then yes, he needs to pay.
If you are receiving any assistance from WIC, food stamps, SNAP, they will ask for his information so they can get money.
I don’t have any assistance and I don’t get support… agree to no support. It’s called shared parenting. You split things equally.
-Ohio
My daughter will be 7 in Sept and hasn’t seen her biological dad in 2 years, this time around I am with someone but before she hadn’t seen him in 4 years and I raised her on my own. If the state is harrassing for his info for state benefits such as food stamps or medicaid then they shouldn’t ask unless your asking for cash assistance. If you don’t go for cash asssitance then they shouldn’t need his info but only your income and information. If you feel you need the money and wanna put it away for your child then do so but dont let any of us force you to take money when hes not around anyway. I always told myself if I placed him on child support he wouldn’t pay anyway. I also told myself if I placed him on child support then it gave him a reason to be around and he was toxic. Better for my daughter to grow up knowing who he is but that he chooses not to be around, on his own. And that he does love and miss her. I’ve never bad mouthed her father but when my child can say that her daddy hit mommy or called mommy names she didn’t need to be around it. Even gave him chance after chance to see her and he always made excuses. You do what you think is best for your child. 
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Put the money in a savings account for her. College isn’t cheap and insurance doesn’t always pay for treatments that are needed.
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That child deserves that money if you don’t want it put it in the bank for her education !
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You might not need or want assistance (support) now but you never know what is in your future. It’s not visitation or custody, it’s financial help. I needed support but didn’t get it and I didn’t qualify for government assistance either. I was stuck but I worked my ass off to get by. My Ex was in and out of jail so I never pushed the issue. His loss not ours.
You can raise her yourself with your own money, but take the support to give to her on her 18th birthday.
Just get child support. It isn’t about you.
I would put money up for her college fund but I would not be-grudge her, her child support, it’s for her I’m sure she can and will find a use for it once she’s older
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