Can my relationship be saved?

Me 22 and my bf 24 have been together for 4 years 2 months. When we first started dating he was working a 13$ an hour cash job and i was doing a 18$ an hour contract job. Fast forward now we have a just turned 2 year old son who hasnt left my side for more than 4 hours at at time ( still breast feeding strong ) and I stopped working when i was about 8 weeks pregnant because i had extreme nausea and was even in the hospital cause i couldnt even hold water down. His cash job gave him a 4$ raise to 17$ an hr two months before he was born. In between the 4 years he got let go before i got pregnant and i was supporting him and then he went back after they gave him a raise. He got this amazing job thats 39$ an hr in January. The first month of him working there i found out that this single mom who dosnt even work in the same department as him ( half the pay too) was constantly texting him sending messages like “ oh my back hurts so much i need a massage and a bath “ “ maybe the 4 of us can hang out just you me and our sons” and he said “ no my woman wouldn’t like that plus shes still breastfeeding she dosnt leave the baby “ her response was “ she dosnt have to know if the two of us hang out at my place after work “ he replied “ no i don’t fee comfortable going behind her back I’m happy but we can still be friends” she was constantly texting him and double triple texting him on fb messenger. 3 weeks into his new job i could tell he’s been acting different ( i never had no reason to not trust him before this i thought everything was 💯 between us) one day he forgot his phone at home and i seen that he had multiple messages and i opened them and this girl was flirting with him and constantly asking to hang out and he kept on saying no then she would change the subject to herself ( i had no idea this was happening and who this girl was) i took screenshots and have them saved and i called her cussed her out saying let me catch her around town 3000-4000 people live here and when he got home we got into a huge fight and i said she was clearly constantly trying to get with you and all he said was yea but i kept telling her no and i said why is she even on your fb why are you even talking to her she works in a completely different building and i told him to delete her or we are done and he’s like i cant do that shes nice so i told him to choose and i said to delete her and if i find out that shes still messaging you at all we will be done because this is cheating and a week before hand when i asked who’s texting him cause his phone went off 5 times durning our weekly date night and he said just the guys and turned his phone completely off. He cut her off, two weeks after that they get a new car pool cause they work in the next town over just 45 mins away and he didn’t tell me and it was the known home wrecker in town and i didn’t find out till 3 weeks after they been car pooling when he was in the shower and she was face timing him so i picked it up and she had her chest out and shes like ooo i was tryna ask your man if he’s driving tomorrow or if i am and jake came out and he’s like who’s on the phone and i said the home wrecker and she heard me to and i said to him why did you not fucking tell me your now car pooling with the home wrecker huh ( she slept with 3 married guy) ( and shes know for doing coke) she hung up and i started going through his messages with her and she was flirting with him and he did the same with that other girl at first was like no no my woman wouldn’t like that but we can be friends 2 days before that she sent him a selfie with her chest out and flour on her saying she got messy while baking and we got into a huge fight and i said if anything happens between them then tell me now cause i will leave this relationship because this is 2 different girls already and him hiding the messages because he would archive the messages so if he asked me to text someone on his phone while he’s driving or something i wouldn’t see it. I broke our apartment lease that was under my name that he was paying for and i moved in with my grandparents and he had to move in with his parents and we are still together but we would only go up there when he’s not working ( his parents are just terrible people) everything has been fine no other fights or anything since then but last night was his first day off work and he was in the shower and his phone goes off so i look at it like he does to my phone when i don’t have it on me or in different room. It was a girl he went to high school with messaging him yesterday saying “ hey there how are you doing? “ then they did small talk and right away he mentioned me and then she said “ I’m in town at my parents house and I’m alone right now do you think she would care if we could hang out the two of us i need to talk to someone i just feel so alone right now my parents are not even home” and he said “ no I’m with my woman right now and she would not like that” and she said “ wow shes so insecure you cant even come and see me for even an hr so we can talk” he said no and she just kept on asking and asking and he left her on read and all this was happening when i was doing my ate home work outs and then took a shower cause he was with the son and our son was sleeping and then he took a shower after me ( midnight). Honestly i think I’m just done now because he’s a “nice guy and cant just delete them” then i looked at her profile and he liked her profile pic and it was just her in a skimpy bikini holding 2 beers. Yes he does say that he’s with me and he’s happy but he’s not stupid he knows there flirting with him and towards the end of the conversations he starts taking to them more and talking about himself. Before January he had no “ girl friends “ just guys he hung out with and i Don’t have “ guy friends” all my friends are girls. Why is it now all of a sudden after 4 years know he needs girl friends because no one looked his way when he wasn’t working or even when he was just making 17 an hour because he screamed in my face saying I’m a dumb b who’s insecure who’s trying to start a fight because apparently I’m the one cheating when he’s at work and thats why i moved in with my grandparents so i can leave our son with them and taking off on him everyday and how I’m a shitty mom and girlfriend because I’m no longer cooking and cleaning for him and packing his lunches no more since moving out of our apartment and just kept trying to gaslight me. We go on a date night 2-4 times a week sometime every other day but not longer than 4 hours or my boobs start to hurt. Idk what to do or to say because thats 3 different girls in 7 months.

I know its a long story but this is the best i can shorten it there more details like a lot more.

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I would talk to him about doing couples therapy. It seems he is letting the women know he isn’t available and they just won’t stop from their end. Instead of blowing up, tell him you want to work on things. Find a couples therapist. Tell him he needs to tell you when women are hitting on him or texting him because that is raising trust issues. If this doesn’t work, it would tell him you can’t deal and leave, but I would try the therapy first.

Get rid of him. I know it’s hard but you and your son should be his #1. Making you feel safe and secure in your relationship should be top priority. You should NEVER have to feel second best to ANY other woman in his life. They are temporary. They won’t stick around. Your there for the longhaul. He should be catering to you. The fact that he can’t delete and block someone to make you feel secure is just trash. Its like them being ‘nice’ to him is more important than you crying yourself to sleep every night because your should be enough. Let him go. He might fuck around for a while. But I promise he will come back. He seems genuinely with you if he kept saying no to them. But he needs time to think about how important you are and how much he needs you. Because once your gone after awhile he’ll realize how good he had it and that they weren’t worth losing you.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can my relationship be saved?

… your man is loyal. It’s NOT cheating if a girl is flirting with him. So get that out of your head. You sound crazy. You’re being controlling as hell and not even allowing this man to have friends who are women. He’s going to end up either cheating or leaving YOU because of how you are.

Kick him to the curve and move on

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Ok, 1. That girl didn’t get his number by herself. 2. That baby ain’t no baby anymore it’s time to stop breastfeeding and go back to work 3. That girl isn’t the only one with his number so you have 2 choices deal with getting cheated on or move on

Please message me if u feel comfortable. Look be glad he is turning them down. And you need to cuss them girls out. Do not feel guilty for that. But if he can’t remove them cause they r nice or set a very firm boundary u might wanna reconsider

Ok well honestly hes telling them no and refusing to hang out with them and constantly bringing you up. I feel like you need to work on yourself and your insecurities before leaving your childs father and breaking up an otherwise happy home. Just my opinion.

That was a lot
To read and didn’t finish buuuut. If he isn’t standing up for you he’s not on your side. You’re either with me or against me. Even if he technically isn’t cheating if he can’t let go of insignificant ppl for you that’s your answer right there

GIRL… run! You will have a lifetime of misery and grief.

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What are you trying to save? 3 girls in 7 months…this isn’t just happening. He’s the common denominator

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You are already living separately; that’s half the battle. Break it off.

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I didnt even make it half way through this train wreck to know if you ate having to question all this time it is time to go…
DONT MAKE IT A HABIT OF COLLECTING RED FLAGS.
I get thats daddy to your kid but your kid is seeing you unhappy and that’s not healthy

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If he has to hide it from you he is well on his way. Why are these messages saved? Why hasn’t he blocked her? Dudes are mad sneaky. These might just be the ones he wants you to see, showing that he’s turning down the advances but in reality he’s deleted all the incriminating ones. He is not serious about the relationship if he can’t be honest with you.

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You are too young to live with and put up with a guy like him. Move on for your own sake and that of your child. You two both need to mature and get counseling to avoid making the same mistake.

Leave him and move on.

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Run!!! If you stay, your son will learn his bad habit and think it’s ok to treat a woman like that! Move on now since your son is little! It will get worse if you keep tolerating the disrespect from him and disrespect you are allowing!

So this is harder because of the time you’ve put in and the fact that there’s a child involved. Maybe try therapy? What helped us was learning how to love each other the correct way instead of the normal way. When I was little and my parents were mad they would raise their voices and cuss and stuff. We have set expectations that we both agree will be how we treat each other. We used to tell because that’s a normal thing to do when you’re angry. But that doesn’t mean it’s what you should do. So just apply that to all of the other areas of your life. Figure out what goal you guys have for your relationship and how to achieve them.

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I would leave I had an ex like that. I had to go he always not changing or deleting the girls. My best advice is to leave and I know its hard with a child but ur child doesn’t need to be put thru that.

You deserve better And you’ll never leave him until you realize that.

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He’s telling them no on texts because he knows you’ll read the messages and it makes him look like a stand up guy when he does that but he’s clearly saying otherwise when he talks in person. They aren’t chasing a man who told them NO. Leave and stop the misery.

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I stopped after halfway but girl leave!!! There is that saying. When someone keeps talking to your significant other, it’s cause he is opening the door for her. No way a person is talking to themselves. It starts off as texting and flirting and will eventually lead more to that. Put your man on check rather than put the other girl on check. Obviously he likes the attention she is giving him and he is paving the way for them to keep flirting with him. It ain’t ever going to change, sorry but truth hurts. Run while you can or else you’re going to be stuck and having to fight these girls cause of your man.

You already made him decide once between you+ his son or a friendship with a random girl. He says he can’t delete her because according to you he’s “too nice…” He chose the girl and not only 1 girl but now 3 in 7months! Girl please save yourself the heartache of a lifetime of girls being after him…he clearly doesn’t have his priorities straight.
Yes a man can have female friends but once he has said no to her flirting, yet she doesn’t get the hint and you’ve made your feelings clear that your not comfortable with that girl. A REAL MAN that LOVES ONLY YOU would BLOCK her right then and there.

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End the relationship now!! He’s been cheating even if he hasn’t had sex…and I’d be surprised if he hasn’t…this is typical cheating in today’s society…he has allowed this to continue and you are allowing him to continue by staying with him get out as fast as you can!!

Girl be done hes trash there are other guys out there that will treat u better…

I agree with every one else just call it done he probably did do something with some one and these are just some that you see or catch on his phone. Honestly, their is no point to a relationship like that and he does not have his priorities straight time to let it go unless you want to live a life checking his phone all the time and fighting over girls that message him and he puts himself as a victim. You deserve better than that.

That’s a terrible situation :frowning: I wouldn’t bother… If you’re already arguing about it to where you are leaving and can’t be happy when your together, it’s not worth it. Especially when it keeps happening over and over. You deserve to be happy and not babysitting a grown man and his girlfriends​:disappointed:

Girl, I have soo much to say but I’ll just leave it at this……leave him, he’s being shady AF, I know you have your baby but don’t make that the reason you stay together! You need a man who is gonna, wait….I just said it….You need a MAN!!! Good luck!

Honestly, speaking from personal experience, it is never the same after you find out they’ve been messing around with other girls… Trust is broken and it doesn’t go back the way it was I promise! You have to ask yourself if you are willing to do all of the extremely hard work it takes to rebuild trust that is broken… Or start over again and tell that MF goodbye

If this shit doesn’t scream immaturity then I don’t know what does.

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You need to run, he isn’t worth it. He is entertaining other women

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Women goes through a lot. Women stay because of their kids happiness but men runs from responsibilities and it would end up as if you’re insecure and not good enough doesn’t matter if you give him your life, can’t you see he’s enjoying while you making the sacrifices for your child. Let him go go let go before you wasted your life and before you get anymore kids. Use birth control your kud will grow up soon. Don’t stress he’s becoming independent as if he’s single running from family comittment please don’t get no more kids for him.

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I’m not sure the question here. You obviously can’t trust him so leave

Holy effing wall of text! Your man is cheating and as guilty as these other women, you just don’t want to see it. Leave. You deserve better.

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It’s not easy to leave someone especially if you’ve had kids together but I would leave before it gets worse and it sounds like he’s just too young to know what he wants plus the randoms stroking his ego make him feel good that’s his insecurities

I’m not sure what the wages have to do with it but if you don’t like what he’s doing and he won’t stop you have to make the decision to leave or stay and put up with it.
You already told him to make a choice… and he did
Now it’s up to you to make a choice.

Since he couldn’t let go of the messages and didnt block them run run run his lack of respect for your feelings and his lack of actions regarding these women disrespecting you is all you need to know the rest is just bull. I totally understand what you are going through I feel your pain I’ve been there and it’s taken me countless tears for me to accept that I AM WORTH MORE THAN THIS AND YOU ARE TOO. Run get away

Honestly. From experience babe,leave. You’re young you still have so much time ahead of you to make an amazing life for you and your bub. Don’t waste another 17 years like this. . you’re already half way out.
Good luck with it all ,stay strong.

If you took the time to write all of this wanting advice…you already know the answer. Follow your instinct.

Just break up and take that L cause he clearly needs/wants the extra attention. No man gonna keep entertaining these women If he already made it clear he in a relationship. So there’s probably other messages he’s deleted or something he’s doing in person. The whole fact y’all living separately is a sign….move on and coparent

Stop going thru ppl phone its like your trying to find stuff to push u out the door so go! If he did it before 9/10 he’ll do it again but sneakier!! If u can trust him its a thing called coparenting!!! Don’t stay for the child leave for your sanity or be quiet and live with it smh!!! I’ve been there and done that!!! Only thing that made things better was me leaving!!!

Everyone saying he’s cheating this and that. My personal opinion is he’s handling it very well. He’s making it KNOWN he’s with YOU! So wtf is the problem? Oh yea y’all are WAYYY IMMATURE! Like back off of the poor guy or he IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU!!

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Are you asking us for advice or are you just venting? Because if you’re asking us it’s very clear what you should do… but please don’t ask for advice and do the opposite. :woman_facepalming:t2:

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I had tbis SAME ISSUE with my ex but he never said “no, cassy wouldn’t like that.” He always went and let girls sit in his lap at the bar and gave lots of attention to other women even when I was around. His friends even made a comment… my friends were screenshootibg girls pics and showing he liked the skimpy ones!
Trust me girl it’s not worth the fight. If he can’t delete them or even argues you to delete them, it’s over, a real man would never do that. I’ve been in that same situation minus the child for 9 years! It is not worth it!
One secret leads to many secrets. And if he’s giving another woman attention let him and walk away. He doesn’t know how good he has it! Walk away before it gets worse love.

First thing, you can’t control who messages him, it seems like he is always saying no and to be fair these are people he works with whether in the same building or not they could probably make his life hell if he isn’t nice to them. Second, you are so playing in to their hands, look your girlfriend doesn’t even let you have friends I wouldn’t do that to you, now he has started hiding messages because you are always arguing with him about them.
A good solution is to stop arguing with him over girls messaging him, if they want play dates or dinners then tell him to say yes and you go along with them, should be grateful he’s saying no, a lot wouldn’t.
Try chilling the feck out, you not having a job and being constantly attached to your child is clearly making you stir crazy, he probably had all these interactions when you had a job but because you had your own life it never bothered you.
Talk to him, move back in and calm the feck down :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

Stay away from him. First a new life with ur son he will never change

Why are u still with him?

First… you need to stop judging people by how much money they make. You’re no better than someone who makes 2.38 an hour at the Olive garden. With that being said. You told him to choose. He chose. He didn’t block her he didn’t respect that their friend or more relationship made you uncomfortable. It’s time to come up with a co parenting plan and move on.

It’s the “but we can be friends” for me like whaaaaa I just turned 23 and no ma’am I would’ve had to apply to the job no matter the description and see what’s what … i do not approve my bf talking to people he used to fuck with or talk to girls that want to fuck with him because why would you be blatantly disrespectful, why let your partners mind wonder especially when moms don’t have the best mental …to the fan I suggest you leave his silly ass because he’s only doing what your allowing, he gets a thrill of getting away with things and you need to show him your serious because who wakes up one day thinking they need female friends without an explanation when your significant other is supposed to be your best friend … I understand another females opinion on certain things but talking to girls that want to fuck him ? No ma’am! He can ask a 40 year old for advice oooo idk maybe someone with years of experience :woman_shrugging:t2: also try co-parenting the goal is to get the dude out of your life not the child’s

First off he’s cheating. Whether he has slept with them or not, the fact that he knows this bothers u and still does it means u accept it cuz he knows what he’s doing. Secondly since he’s already blaming u about cheating I suggest u start u start making male friends and have some of them message u on advice on what u should do. This way he sees u flirting with them and will know how hurt u are. Will he care or change? No cuz he thinks he’s a big shit earning big bucks. What u do need to do if file for child support so your son can be taken care of properly and those hoes will stop getting what belongs to your son. U need to move on and find someone who really loves u and most of all respect u. I know it will be hard but u are raising a baby boy who will learn from what u teach him. Do u want to raise him right or to teach him its ok for him to disrespect women like his father does? U need to choose correctly cuz u have someone who is counting on u to teach him properly

Wow
If u believes and trust him still
And if he’s willing bcuz he believes in ur relationship…I suggest couples counseling

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i forced myself to get through this post, repeatedly forced myself… and i still has d the same thought: JUST LEAVE.

first of all you owe him nothing, pack his lunch he’s lucky you even thought to in the beginning, you’re not his wife… and even if you where packing lunches isn’t your duty. what’s holding you back? i’ll tell you something would you like the man in front of you be an example to your son? is that good morals your baby’s father is bestowing on you? it’s obvious he’s not into you/your future. he’s not mr. nice guy… a nice guy doesn’t even respond and immediately closes down the conversation, and it will never come back up again. home wrecker should not even be in your vocabulary, why entertain such negativity in your life. work on yourself, your self esteem… focus on your son, and look into getting married with your next relationship and not having any insignificant drama in your life. growth.

You wrote a whole movie girl I stop reading . He cheating probably just saying that because he know you going thru his phone

Tbh the second time I would had cut everything off. One chance is all anyone ever gets. If I catch it the 2nd time, you bet I’ll gather all the evidence that I can get, then everything of mine and the child is gone.

To be fair I only read about half but from what I read you are ridiculously immature. He isn’t allowed to talk to anyone? He told her no, what more do you want?

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Your child is better off seeing you single than in a toxic relationship.

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I’m wondering if the issue for him isn’t about being a “nice guy” but wanting his ego inflated. For these women to be persistent as they are, I feel he truly hasn’t done anything wrong yet far as getting intimate. I’m not wanting to justify him but as one person on the outside looking in. Maybe he enjoys their attention because I’m sure your super busy with your son. If your not ready to call it quits whether it’s because of your son or for yourself, then here is my advice. This is gonna be a little bit scary but do the opposite of how you’ve been reacting to certain situations. Acknowledge the fact that he brings you and your feelings up in these messages. If you feeling a little bit froggy and wanna play with fire. They want to hang out with you and him. Then so be it, remind him why he chose you over them for the long haul. Y’all both go out in a social setting with these females, you make sure you have fun. Be cool, calm and collected. Show love and affection but without being all over him like a cheap suit as they say. You might actually shock him straight. You two are both still fairly young, I believe if you play as the cool chick instead of the stuck stay at home mom. Things might change but if you truly try and they don’t. Then I’m not sure what more you could do. Good luck on things working out for the best, whatever that might be.

If I were you I would just leave him… you don’t desrve the anxiety. Dont waste your time on him. Find someone that cares about your feeling because he obviously does not. And make sure you file for child support if you havent already!

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He told them no and even mentioned to them that you wouldn’t like that, so why are you saying he’s cheating?

Throw the whole “man” away he’s not interested in keeping you. My fiance of 7 years has NEVER called me a bitch it baffles me that men say that to the women in their lives.

Why? He’s brushing them off for u girl… he’s a good one from the sounds of it and he’s just trying to be nice by saying let’s be friends it’s not his fault they don’t accept it. be grateful he’s not feeding into them and being sneaky and saying ya let’s meet up to them like some douche bags. …
but tell him how it makes u feel and you also need to grow up! You are super insecure if anything reading him choosing you every single time would make me more secure and trusting.
Chill out!

  1. You are extremely childish.
  2. Yes he was 100% faithful and told them no BUT he should have blocked them immediately
  3. Grow up. Everyone in a relationship has to deal with their partner getting hit on one way or another. As long as they aren’t entertaining it than why tf are you getting so mad!
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No one can’t tell you what you already know what to do? Good Luck

To long and boring. Nobody wants to read all that. I only got 25% thru it.

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I mean it isn’t cheating if he’s telling them no. He’s not hiding the fact he has a girlfriend. He’s telling these people no to hanging out because he has you. Only thing I’d be annoyed about is that he won’t cut them off since they disrespect your relationship.

Im sorry, but all I saw was him saying no…? Am I missing something?

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I used to be like this, it pushes your partner into wanting to be unfaithful even more. I agree he should’ve blocked them and such, but if you can’t trust someone…it is difficult to even have a relationship. I don’t know the entire context of the story but I’d say you may have overreacted. No one is perfect. You’ve seen that he declines the other women’s invitations. Men are visual creatures and they are going to look at other women, that doesn’t mean they are out there screwing around. I don’t think I’d throw my entire relationship away over it.

You’re both assholes. He should’ve blocked her when she didn’t respect him saying no and out of respect for you. But you also sound extremely insecure.

Y’all started out young. Some relationships last and some won’t bcus as people grow they want to experience other people. I would leave and focus on my life with the child. If he wants to really be with you he would straighten up and prove it.

Phew! Girl you got it out. Now move on! It’s a trust thing in relationships. If you trust your man, you wouldn’t even went through his phone but you don’t trust him bcuz he’s now the breadwinner and you’re a stay-at-home mom. Idk what to say bcuz I’ve seen way way worse, also been through way worse. He’s wrong for calling you a bitch, I can tell you that much but you may have been acting like one. If he gives you no reason trust him then forget them thirsty thots. They want what you have. Even though I wouldn’t even entertain the bitches, it seems as if they are messaging him on social media and not even his actual phone line. I do know this, during pregnancy and postpartum our emotions are everywhere, our hormones are doing numbers, and our body is struggling to get back to normal. I wish you the best but I wouldn’t end things over hot hoes wanting what you have. Ijs

If he is staying friends with the ones flirting & sending him pics, that is a warning sign to me. Yes, he can have female friends & you need to accept that BUT the flirty ones? No, they need to be blocked. He is saying ‘no’ which is great, but allowing them to keep on sending that stuff is not a good sign (and by keeping them as friends, he is allowing it to continue).
Yes, women will flirt with your partner and so far he’s handled himself as a good partner and man. Keeping them on as friends though, while they continue to harass him, flirt with him & send suggestive pics, shows that he is enjoying the attention - and he’s lied about it too, which is not good.
The decision is yours though. You need to either 100% trust him or get out. What is your gut feeling telling you?

Listen I can see where the problem on your end is because you’ve asked him to stop however if he isn’t flirting back and is telling them he’s happy and with you then maybe you might need to look at why it’s making you so mad. My husband gets hit on constantly and has girl friends, I don’t care because he doesn’t entertain them. There have been a few that took their flirting to far and I asked him to stop talking to them and he did but that was once they started sending him nudes on “accident”. I don’t think you should leave but maybe sit down and think about why it bothers you so much for him to have friends that are girls and then talk to him about everything.

First off… If your son is still latched at the breast to eat that’s like pedo behavior I feel. Like he should of already been eating solid foods and drinking from a sippy cup starting at 1yr old. To me that’s some strange behavior you are allowing. I’m just not down with that at all. And you are young in general tbh so if you are saying the stuff right now about your relationship then I just dont feel you and your boyfriend ever loved each other as strongly as you should have. Problem is is being young in itself let alone being young parents tends to not allow growth in your already young age and I feel maybe it was rushed. Time you take a long hard look at the life you have now and either learn to work it out like adults FOR YOU or call it quits. ESPECIALLY while your son is still little so he isnt stuck in the middle even though he already seems to be… Lastly holy buckets you wrote alot. I honestly stopped reading it about 1/3 of the way through.

as soon as he starts hiding messages, its over… he is cheating, wont change… find someone who is into you only

I don’t think she’s childish. HE IS. He steady entertaining these other females. No females is NICE if she keep trying to get with someone that keeps telling them NO. Him and they are all disrespectful, let him go his way.

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Chile I stopped reading that message a third of the way through I couldn’t do it, it’s too much! Girl you don’t want advice you just wanted to get it off your chest and it was all over the place if you talkin like that girl just let it go and let God and stay off of social media and stay off of people phone

Once a man says your the one cheating after you call him out. He’s just trying to cover his tracks. LEAVE HIM. A real man won’t be looking at others while in a relationship especially if they have a family. He’s clearly a loser.

I think you guys need to talk stuff out, talk to him about boundaries with his friends and that he should know when to draw a line in their friendships… You get some nasty girls with horrible intentions and maybe try get a job as well, I know when my little one was still small you start being insecure from being home and feeling depressed I think you just need to get your life going again.

You’re young I get that, but take this from people older than you…grow up. He’s not cheating and was never cheating. He kept it respectful and mentioned both times that he had a woman and he wasn’t comfortable going behind your back. You’re insecure that’s a trait you gotta work on for yourself honestly. If the relationship fails it’ll be on your end to be honest. If you trust him like you say you do then you wouldn’t be blowing it out of proportion. I’m not gonna bash you like most of these people are doing I’m just going to lay some wisdom on you. Trust your man before you put him into that perspective to actually cheat. If the man was gone cheat on you in pretty sure he would of been cheated, but he loves you and respects you. Chill. Don’t push him away from y’all relationship the least you could do is help him understand how you feel instead of accusing him and thinking it’s ok that he can’t have friends male or female. That shows complete insecurity.

I think you both have a lot of growing to do that can’t be done together right now, leave before it gets worse. Your kid shouldn’t grow up seeing that.

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Am i being thick or what has it got to do with him being on so much a hour? How would they no? And tbh my hubby speaks to girls his best friend was a girl, 10 years together and 2 kids, hes mine, he also gets female attention hes a DJ and door bouncer, he said no they no hes got you, you just need to get over it and trust him!

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Not a chance I’d of fucked him off already! He has no care for your feelings he’s making out like he does to the women because it makes him look good but if he had any respect for you and your feelings he wouldn’t entertain them at all and he’d tell them where to take their dirty little hoe asses - the fucking bin! I know for a fact my mans response would either be nothing and completely ignore them altogether or… he’s fucking warn them that they’re making a big mistake and asking for an early fucking grave even attempting to get to him because I’m psycho and will fuck a bitch up and show her, her place seeing as she clearly can’t find it!:face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: get out now hun because you deserve someone who will make it CLEAR that it’s not just because ‘my woman wouldn’t like that’ because he’s just blaming you!!! He should be telling them ‘no I’m not interested’ ‘no that’s inappropriate and I have more respect for my woman than that’ or fucking something like that at least. Idiot. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he has been seeing these women behind your back! Because why else entertain them other than to boost his little ego! And why would he be archiving the messages if he’s doing fuck all wrong?!? My man use to get unsolicited nude from girls in the first year we was together, at first he was like well I’m not sending anything or asking for it they just do it random idk what you expect me to do it’s not my fault etc etc. I made it very fucking clear that shit isn’t happening! ‘Get them blocked on everything now or I’ll be hunting some bitches down and kicking you out!!!’ ALL ABOUT RESPECT!!

If someone doesn’t respect your relationship you don’t have them in your life if the relationship really means anything to you!!

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Sooo you’re mad for what? He’s not cheating he’s telling them no! Please grow up.

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Hes telling them no so hes doing the right thing. But he needs to stop playing nice to them and tell them all bluntly to fuck off. My partner would do that if any girl disrespect our relationship by trying it on him like that.

He’s entertaining bitches. If the wife says DELETE/BLOCK a bitch with no boundaries and he DOES NOT, then he is PURPOSELY entertaining bitches. (If the tables were turned and YOU were sending topless pics to a man, even if it never went further than that, and even if the man knew you had a husband…Your man would be equally furious as u are now.) He’s playing ,girl and he’s hiding things which indicates that he knows it is wrong and does not care.DO NOT ACCEPT THAT.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can my relationship be saved?

You left and took yalls kid, he still couldn’t just delete provacative pushy women? For me thatd be the end of that permanently. Thank you NEXT bec while he is shutting them down. Them not getting the point should be his motivation to remove the disrespectful females.

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I think he deleted the messages of him leading them on. There’s no way anyone would be that pushy if something wasn’t happening and then he gaslights you… yeah time to cut ties

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I been breastfeeding for 16 months and I dont get full and sore after 4 hours. You must feed ALOT for a 2 year old…perhaps give yourself a little break. Get rid of the man too. Hes taking you for a fool x

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He’s way too about the attention that he’s getting from females and that’s always a no go in my book! If I felt some type of way about any females messaging my bf and he didn’t immediately block any and all contact with them, I’d be done! If being with you was important to him then these girls wouldn’t get anymore of a response then “no im taken”

He’s encouraging these women! You need to dump his ass!

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Love yourself. Leave his ass! You know ALL the reasons why and from reading what u have written, you are far from dumb. A liar is a liar. A cheat is a cheat. But u already know that. Good luck

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Seems like the two of you may want to consider counseling. It seems to me that he isn’t cheating or at least hasn’t yet but at the same time, likes the new found female attention he wasn’t previously getting. It looks like the two of you are at a weird place where you’re both hurt or bothered and don’t know how to come back together and let the pride go. Is speaking to women who are clearly trying to get into his pants the right thing to do? Absolutely not. But he can’t seem to stop. And it seems there is something he can’t express to you. You need a third party.

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Though you all being young doesn’t excuse his behavior. He seems insecure. Your the only woman he knows and though he is not trying to mess things up in his mind he needs to make a choice. He would not like the shoe being on the other foot. Cheating isn’t just physical. He is shutting them down but needed to remove them. You took the kids and he doesn’t seem to want to be a family. More that your probably not aware of going on.

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No 1. This guy loves and respects u.
But he need to put a boundary to his friendship with girls who wants him.
He should take a stand.
And you ,don’t throw away a good man because you are insecure.
Because he has you doesn’t mean he won’t have female friends.
You pokenose too much which will make him keep hidding.

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“Hello, Whole Man Disposal Service? Do you do same day pickups?” Dump him, you’ll be so much happier, it might be tough but, sweetheart he’s taking you for a fool.

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Of his parents are horrible so is he… he may need some counseling to get through some childhood issues. It sounds like he loves you but has issues saying no.

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Kick his asd to the curb. Quit being a doormat

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