Is there such thing as to much love and affection and attention? My current boyfriend, who I live with we’ve been together three years known each other four years; I’m totally in love like I’ve never felt love before; I plan to marry him, but I don’t know if it’s because my last relationship of 7 years was filled with all kinds of abuse for the entire time, but my new boyfriend is great treats me very good we don’t fight yell or anything we get along really really well, but he’s always kissing hugging on me which gives him a boner just by kissing me he’s nonstop horny for me which I’m not used to at all from my last relationship. So is it just a bit too much? Or should I feel lucky that the man I love is so so attracted to me and in love with me?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can relationships be too affectionate?
Some people like a lot of affection. I’ve been with my fella 18 years and he’s forever kissing me, complimenting me and so on. Every chance he gets he turns the conversation rude between us I love it! Enjoy it unless it feels abit overbearing to you then talk to him. It all depends if you like it or not lol everyone is different
I get how you feel smothered by it, I had a relationship like that and it was a lot to deal with All the time lol.
that would drive me crazy!
To me that’s a bit much. I would get so pissed off
Shoot girl, I get the complete opposite response. And it killed my confidence. Take it while you can!
Girl! Run with it and be happy!
Take it…a man like that only comes around once in a lifetime
As long as it’s not too much for you don’t worry about it. Some men are more affectionate than others.
someone’s love and affection for one another is “too much?” Usually it’s not enough. Consider yourself to lucky to be with someone who truly cares about you and treats you well
Relish in it, enjoy it, return it and be thankful for it. I went thru the same in my last marriage (25 years) no affection, no display or even verbal expression of love. My new husband constantly tells he loves me and shows affection constantly in several forms. I’ve never been so happy. Enjoy it and be thankful. There is no such thing as too much genuine love.
My husband is the same way…still…after 11 years of marriage. I like it…but swatting him away in the mornings gets kinda annoying…lol. Roll with it. It is worth it.
As long as he is respecting your boundaries if you tell him you need a break, I would appreciate it personally.
Well if it ever gets to a point where he doesn’t get turned on by just the sight of you… you’ll wonder if he is cheating… be happy you have a good relationship and roll with it… maybe talk to him and let him know your not used to that kind of attention and you need time to adjust to it. He can’t read your mind. Talk to your man
What u worried about u go girl u love him to so no problem ya just not used to it u enjoy x
If you’re happy then be happy but, if he’s crossing the line you need to tell him now. Part of being in a good relationship is communication. Be honest about how you’re feeling and go from there.
You need to talk to him frankly and set boundaries or it’ll just get worse.
Idk I’d say be lucky. Emotionally unavailable men are all too familiar. I’d kill for something like this again, but it’s truly once in a lifetime. These people telling you to take it and run, I completely agree with.
I thought all men where like this? I’ve been married for 14+ years nd he can’t touch me without getting a hard on
Don’t confuse love I with a boner…
Enjoy it ! He loves you.
My husband is the same, I usually just tell him to piss off, when he becomes annoying… lmao
I can see how that can be a little overwhelming if it’s not something you’re used to. I personally would kill for my boyfriend to act like he was even the slightest bit interested in me anymore. I really don’t have any advice other than talk to him about it. Assure him that you think he’s great and you love him and all that jazz but maybe he needs to take a cold shower now and then lol
Giiirrrrrllll!! Love it! Bc if he lost it… you would miss it!!
We all have different desires when it comes to intimacy. Personally I can’t handle someone being all over me especially if it’s going to have to lead to sex every time
His love language will be physical affection, and its a great thing, sounds like hes nit aware you don’t like it like that all the time, which you should tell him, but do it very delicately as he could take it the wrong way.
For me it would be too much. I have been in similar past relationships and being overly affectionate is uncomfortable for me where as for my husband he loves it.
We try to balance it the best we can and just talk it over when we need more or less.
Damn I wish my husband was like that im not saying hes not affectionate at all but I wish he was like that sometimes!
I used to feel smothered so I told him to find a happy medium and it worked out
My husband is the same. Enjoy it.
Double edged sword, but one I’d live on the good side of. Enjoy and appreciate the fact that he’s so into you. Accept it. It could be totally different, leaving you feeling shorted in that department. Which would you rather have?
My husband has always been this way. He’s always buying flowers, lingerie, jewelry and so on for no reason, and he’s always wanting to spend time with me. Some men are just that way. It sounds like you’re lucky. You deserve it, so enjoy.
Uhhhh enjoy it, embrace it. My husband is the same and won’t leave me alone.
Rock on thats my hubby. I was not an affectionate person at all but now im completely different enjoy that. He loves you and your not used to it!! Embrace it and love every minute others are not as lucky.
My husband and I are the same way. My relationships before him were shit. I never knew real love till my husband came along. The way we met the feelings we had and still have it’s insane. Like to good to be true. He is my rock my everything. So I’m telling you if you found it keep it. He is your person. You’re very lucky to have found it like I did.
We all have a “touched out” point. Especially if you have kids. Your blessed he’s so loving to you but sometimes enough can be enough. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. He should at least respect that x
Feel lucky. It’s not hard to pretend knowing it making them feel good about themselves
I think you’re just not use to someone treating you like they actually like you. I’d say enjoy it because there’s plenty of guys out there who would rather cheat on their partner than give love and attention to the one they’re with.
You might want to cherish what you have.
Are you dating a replica of my boyfriend? Because that’s him to a T! We have been together almost two years next month, but known each other for 10+ and he still acts with me as if we just got together last month.
Sis - it is only overwhelming for you because you are so accustomed to motions of abuse. It will take some time to overcome the trauma of it, yes, but it is time to start letting yourself loose. It is time for you to be happy. Not many people in this world is as lucky to have a partner such as this - they’re unicorns. Hold onto him and melt into him!!!
You went through hell with the first one, and this one sounds as if he’s head over heals for you, you’ve got a keeper… ….
Appreciate, get wild and have some fun… you deserve it.
It’s an adjustment from the last, but ya adjust… lol
You could rent him out lol
Does he have an older brother lol
Honey if this is your biggest problem you are blessed
My wife feels the same way as you. She doesn’t like a lot of attention, so I don’t give her any. Problem solved.
Been on both sides of this. Really affectionate and then not really affectionate at all other than at typical times during the day. Morning, getting home, and going to bed. Take the love, attention, and affection if you like it. Its really what you prefer. Good luck.
Girl. Embrace it! The love of my life is similar in that sense. I know it seems unfamiliar because of what youve been through. You’re enough! You deserve a human who loves you. Because you are loveable!
I struggle with this as well except I’m married to a woman. But I also have been in very abusive relationships physically, mentally and emotionally. My therapist said it’s because I’m use to the negative relationships and abuse etc and that although I definitely appreciate her loving me and giving me affection it’s hard for me to accept it all the time. It’s just something we have to mentally work on and like my therapist said you basically have to retrain your brain into seeing a lot of affection as a positive thing bc your brain is use to all the bad things from your past. I hope this helped some. Keep your head up
All men are that way when they’re in happy healthy relationships
My husband is crazy about me, and I can’t get enough of him. Its a good life
It’s the same way with my fiancee and I. I’m not use to not fighting and being cared for. I’m not use to the kisses and other forums of affection. I’m learning to be affectionate again. There’s nothing wrong with it and enjoy the love. You deserve it. It’s just something your not use to anymore.
That’s the dream relationship for most people. BUT I feel you. Coming from an abusive marriage and a following abusive relationship… it’s something I’ve been struggling with too. My boyfriend of two years is amazing. He’s supportive, kind and affectionate and I have a very hard time accepting his love a lot of the time. It’s getting better with time and he understands me which makes it easier. He gives me space when I need it and doesn’t get offended. If he does he politely addresses it and I try really hard to be better. It’s a process but I feel so fortunate to have such a loving man. I never ever have to wonder if he’s cheating, lying etc. I know he loves me unconditionally.
too much love would be love bombing which is a narcissist tactic. you just have a Lil horn dog lol sounds ok to me
Oh lord is it overwhelming and nerve-wracking for those of us who have been through a traumatic past and sometimes it doesn’t help use heal when they try to make up for all the past misdeeds done to us. I just got married last week to the sweetest man I have ever met and in our wedding photos I noticed that I am standing like a line backer ready to attack (and yes in a dress). All he did was kiss my forehead and said “You don’t have to stand like that anymore because no one is going to hurt you. I have your back.” My husband and I have only been together about 10 months. We’ve had argument and we’ve both had “meltdowns” but he’s never abused me (or my children)in any way. Sweetheart it’ll take time for you to adjust to his overwhelming amount of love he has for you. When it’s gets to be too much tell him “Hey, babe, not right now. I’m having a sensory over load and I’m trying to find ways to handle all the love you are trying to show me, cause sometimes it scares me. If I hurt your feelings I’m sorry as that’s not what my intentions are. I just need 5 minutes to recover my sensory level. I love you babe ”
Hope everything works out for you. It’s not easy coming from an abusive past. But I promise you can start sweeping those egg shells into a pile and start throwing them out cause you won’t be walking on them.
My 1st husband was terrible with affection. My husband now, my soulmate, is incredibly affectionate. It was a hard transition. Make sure you tell him you appreciate the affection, but at times you need space. It seems that it really loves you and should understand that need you have.
U should feel lucky!
Its probly bcuz ur not used to it.
I’d love my boyfriend to be affectionate his love language is not touch and mine is.
Enjoy it girl!
Awwww enjoy it while it lasts
Oh no that’s not weird at all. Perhaps you are finding it hard to adjust to a healthy relationship dynamic as I’m sure there were ups and downs in your previous one. Being angry at each other doesn’t make for a lot of physical affection
Get use to it one day you gonna miss it . You probably use to rejection… such like a lot of us…
ENJOY THE MOMENT .he just happy you love him
Girl, I would give up years of my life to have this problem. Be grateful and enjoy every minute of it. You are blessed.
I went from a relationship with not a lot of affection at all, and to much arguing , to a relationship where I am loved completely and utterly . Continually affectionate and loving. It’s amazing. It took awhile to adjust we have been together for 3 years and in the beginning It took Time for me to accept all the love, I was waiting for something bad to happen continually and had to learn how to show affection back, now when the affection gets to much I make jokes with him, like tell him to bugger off lol he gets it he doesn’t take it personally he knows I’m not always overly affectionate but when the times right in my day I always make she I show the love back , a smack on the butt or a kiss on the cheeck they have to accept your love level as much as we accept there’s
Be happy! You’re fortunate!
Only you can answer that.
Is it too much for you? Every relationship is personal… between the people involved. Don’t compare to anyone else’s. If you love it. … go with it. If it bothers you… Talk to him about it.
It only becomes a problem when your not in the mood to be coddled at that point in time and he wont leave you alone to gather yourself, everyone needs a little alone time to self love (not kinky way) and refresh yourself and not have some1 hanging off you like a toddler
That can be another form of control and abuse
Girl really? Why is this even a question? Is the same with my man. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me
That ongoing attention and desire has kept my marriage great for almost 20 yrs.
Is this a serious question?!?!
Same situation so I’m learning as well. Feel lucky and grateful Lots of animosity and negativity in my past relationships as well
Feel lucky while it lasts
You should feel good.
Girl, I had to get used to the same. My last relationship was an abusive nightmare so, when my husband came along and was so affectionate and a horndog, it took some getting used to! Consider yourself lucky!
Same situation for me as well! But I’m loving every minute of it:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
No, been married for 18 years and my husband is the same way. Boners, kissing, touching, slapping butt, all that jazz.
I’m not really the affectionate type and I tolerate it as much as I can and reciprocate it. I make up for it by never denying him sex ever. Kept our marriage very strong and loving.
Your allowed to feel however you feel!! 13 years with my feller in august and he is the same way. Sometimes i love it sometimes ive had enough lol
I wish I had that problem
It can be uncomfortable if it’s something you’re not used to, or if you’re used to only wanting to get away from the person you’re with. When you’re finally in a good relationship after a long, bad one (or several) it can take a while to get over the uneasy feelings you’re used to, even if the new person is phenomenal. Sometimes you might never get over it. Just give yourself time, and maybe gently approach the subject with him. If he’s really the one and as great as he seems he’ll understand how you feel and slow down and compromise with you.
If it’s to the point it makes you uncomfortable then have a conversation and express your feelings. But yes, I believe there can be too much affection and physical touch is my love language. So
I mean…too much affection does annoy the hell outta me…but i would much rather deal with that for the rest of my life than spend one day with an abusive pos like my ex.
Neither. Look into the five love languages
Trauma is hard to deal with, but you just have trust that he loves you and let yourself be happy.
That’s how love is supposed to look. You have to unlearn your toxic traits you developed from trauma! It’s not your fault and you’re not alone
lucky lady dont push him away.
Definitely don’t push him away, get all that lovin girl.
You should feel lucky!!
Is there a problem in there somewhere? Because for the life of me, I can’t see one!
I went from abuse and not affection to the hugs and kisses and he is always telling me he loves me and yes always horny too and this is a very good thing. It does take getting used to but it is so nice to live like this.
Together 3 years and you still get that! Deff nothing to worry about that’s a good thing, means the “honeymoon phase” wasn’t just a phase for you love birds haha
3 yrs is not a “new” boyfriend…
This is probably every woman’s dream, and only some of us are lucky enough to live it. You are feeling the way you do because of past trauma. I hope and pray you can work through all that so you can enjoy this wonderful man who loves you
6 1/2 years in here, and it’s still like that with us!
Like you, I have past relationship trauma, but my hubby is amazing! And he loves lovin up on me
As someone who’s been through various forms of abuse for most of my life, I truly understand. I’ve been with my husband for 7-8 years now and we have a great relationship and never really fight. I still find myself nervous about it all sometimes, my mind questions it a lot (being around narcissists does that to you). The best thing you can do is put the feelings mostly aside and make an honest and rational pros and cons list about your relationship. Think on it hard and if the pros outweigh the cons then try to be more accepting of the relationship, it’s good for you! Making the list will help you to push the irrational thoughts away as you have proven to yourself that it’s a good thing. It feels wierd for me being loved so much after being abused by so many for so long, but a great relationship is an amazing thing and it’s fantastic to feel that. It helps make you feel soo much better and helps to heal those wounds.
Life has funny ways of complicating everything so enjoy the good times while it’s there. Keep communication high (we text for more troublesome subjects for me due to the abuse and that helps us stay in sync) and know that relationships are about compromise. The road ahead will get hard and strain you guys, but if you keep communicating and compromising then you guys will enjoy a long and happy relationship despite everything else that life throws at you.
I wish you the absolute best!
I’m confused, are you not wanting the affection from your significant other? Some women would die for what you’re complaining about. Realize that you’re lucky and that he’s not stepping out on you.
Feel lucky. Get that lovin girl
Lol what? Your man is supposed to be attracted to you and affectionate…
Just enjoy the moment girlfriend
Lol I’ve been in a relationship like that for 5 years… don’t worry it’s a sign of good things to come
You’re uncomfortable, so tell him to tone it down… That would bother me
It’s not too good to be true and if you’re not used to it it can seem too hard to open up to it. Enjoy it. My husband and I are almost always touching each other in one form or another.