I have a five 1/2-month-old child with an ex. He denied paternity at first, so he wasn’t in the picture at all until recently. He is a registered sex offender & is on probation for the next many years. I brought my son to meet him at our local mall in November, and I stated I wasn’t comfortable with his girlfriend yet as we don’t get along & I figured it’d be overwhelming for my son to meet too many people at once. We got there & his girlfriend was there anyway so he lied about her not being around. Now he wants to meet again, but I have two issues: one I don’t want her around him until he becomes comfortable with his dad. Two, I don’t want my oldest around either. Is there any way I can keep the meetings to just us biological parents at first, or can he take me to court for that? He keeps saying its parental alienation, but I have no problem with him meeting my son, just her. What can I do?
It’s not parental alienation, he doesn’t understand the law, bring a lawyer into the picture to clearly outline boundaries and guidelines and he will have less rights. The safety of your children should always be priority, people use the assumption of “unknowing” to intimidate and get what they want whether it’s right or wrong, and it’s usually wrong.
He’s 5.5 months old. He’ll be fine. I’d certainly keep your oldest away, especially if the man in question isn’t his biological father. Regarding the girlfriend… (I don’t know where you are) in my state, there isn’t anything you can do about that without a court saying so… it’s not your call
Definitely look to the court system, you have the upper hand because he is a registered sex offender, and he was never in the picture until now. Is he paying child support?
Talk to his parole officer. Always supervise the visits. I would limit visits and never. Never allow the baby to be alone without you. Also if he is not the father to your other child, keep them away.
You can tell him that this is for you and him. If he makes a stink about it, the court will side with you. Just let him know that if his girlfriend shows up you are leaving. Just make sure it is documented that is why you left. Keep leaving every time she shows up.
If he’s a registered sex offender he should be having only supervised visits anyway
You don’t have to agree or like the Gf being there. It’s about your child’s best interest not theirs. He can take you to court all he wants judge will agree. In all honesty if he or you ever went to court he wouldn’t even be allowed to see your child with out supervision
Why would he be able to be around any child without supervised visitation? If this was my child I would not let my child alone with him.
What is wrong with young people, if he’s a registered sex offender why let him near your kids? You say no for the older one but would let him near your baby who can’t talk for himself just no. Make sure he’s the daddy first then do everything you can to keep him away from your children.
Sex offender…I wouldn’t let him anywhere where near my child. Let him take you to court. He’s playing mind games with you.
First of all, why are you asking advice on My Favorite Holiday?
I would not let him near the baby or your older child he is a registered sex offender why would you want your baby to know his dad In these circumstances. I wouldn’t have thought he would be allowed to be near a young child as part of his probation terms anyway.
Until u get full custody and take his rights and set standards for him to see the boy, then no there is nothing u can do. If he is on the birth certificate then technically he can go see the boy and have him whenever he wants. Now u can put stops at certain places like school u can put it down that he nor her can come there or pick him up. But other then that there is nothing u can do unless he agrees and sticks to it outside of a court hearin
I would move far far away. And never contact anyone I know.
Why the hell a visit, sex offender,? please, YOU need help! God lord, zero common sense, you asked! No wonder…
Get a lawyer, don’t trust the internet
I wouldn’t allow him within 10 feet of my child…
Well honestly if he’s registered sex offender he can only have visitation and you can demand it be supervised by court legally he can’t have any real rights to your son except child support and visitation and for now tell him your sons isn’t comfortable with her and will only see him
The bio dad is the one I wouldn’t want him around him.
I wouldn’t allow him near my kids.
If he is a sex offender the ball is in yr court
If you have been watching all the Child killing any Mother with any common sense should not have been looking for the sex offender father your Children suppose to be your first priority it sound like you don’t need Children this man don’t need to see or visit your kids or anybody else. If you don’t want Heart pains pray to God and use your head.
He is a registered sex offender I would not allow him ANY visitation and unless he is paying child support and is now on the birth certificate tell him to get another life because he sure as hell has forfeited the right to be in your child’s life!
By sex offender it could be he was 18 and girl was younger than 18. She didn’t say pedofile.
First of all, why he is on the sex offender’s registry. Was he on this registry when you decided to have a baby w/him?
He a sex offender and you take your kid(s) around him. Why is he a sex offender? Was he just with a girl under 18 or did he do something to a child? Theres no explanation on how he is a registered sex offender.
Hes a registered sex offender and your concerned about his girlfriend? Sounds like you have some issue’s
Ok… did I just read this right? The father is a registered SEX OFFENDER? Why ohhhhhh why is this even being allowed?
Probably best to keep the bio dad out of the babys life considering hes a sex offender
I wouldn’t be allowing a sex offender to be near my kid without a court order. And in that court order you can ask for it to be mended to only your ex.
You worried about his girlfriend but he’s a sex offender? What kind of shit is that
Well, if he is a registered sex offender and is not on your kid’s birth certificate then he can’t be around your kid or any other kids. But if he’s on his birth certificate then yes he can but he has to let his probation know first and see if it’s really true that he’s on his birth certificate…they will set up a visitation with a supervisor. It can be any person… like his gf, mother, sister, or anyone. It is the only way that he can be around with your kid. And if he picks his gf as a supervisor or monitoring them then you have no choice. Till this kid is over 18 then no more supervisor need. Only if judge approves this first.
I wouldn’t let either any of my children near him at all. Especially if he’s a registered sex offender. No way in hell would I let him near any of my babies. Father or not.
You don’t be a say in who they date. Grow up. Not for you to have any say on. Don’t like it? Don’t sleep around.
1st of all HE IS A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER NOTHING ELSE NEEDS TO BE SAID OR DONE. KEEP YOUR CHILD FAR AWAY FROM HIM PERIOD. SMH
He’s a registered sex offender the courts would say he wouldn’t even be allowed around said kid
Registered sex offender… wouldn’t be near my kids at all!!!
The judge be like “what’s your problem with the gf” you be like “i don’t really know because I don’t know her but I don’t like her” LMAO- petty as can be
He’s a registered sex offender and you let him anywhere near your child? Screw support, I would have made him sign off on parental rights and kept him out of the child’s life.
Convicted sex offender…should not be allowed around child.
I wouldn’t let a sex offender near my child, no matter who they were.
Please tell me you didn’t know he was a sex offender until you had kids!! If you did I’m sorry but your disgusting there’s no way in hell I’d let my children around a person who " likes" little kids 
if he’s a registered sex offender you don’t have to allow your children around them, and if you do your disgusting!!
Go to court. Go to this next meeting but make it very clear to him that if you see her, you and your child will be leaving and contact will stop until a court order is in place.
A court will order supervised contact to start off anyway, where she won’t be allowed because it is a time for the child and the parent to get to know each other again.
Ok you can either make the rules since there is nothing in place. She has no RIGHT to be there as she is just a gf. Even if she was the wife. And it’s on HIM to petition the court for any custody rights. They’ll probably set it up so there is supervised visitation, meaning you’re there, for however long. Not her. And her being there in the future if she is a WIFE depends on her record. If SHE has any felonies, related offenses that would not be in the child’s best interest she just won’t be able to be around period. Married or not.
You might have to take it to court yourself … meetings should only be with the parent … I know when I was a kid the meeting had to take place at my grandma’s or a public place twice a month and it could only be him unless agreed upon with my mom
As a registered sex offender, you should take him to court BEFORE another meeting takes place and have him ordered to undergo supervised visitation. In a court ordered supervised visitation, biological parents and grandparents are usually the ONLY ones approved to be there…usually, even a new spouse isn’t allowed…ONLY parents/grandparents/blood siblings(not step siblings).
I would not continue to take your child until it is ordered by a court. You tried to set something up for him, yet he couldn’t even respect your wishes…so what you allow is what will continue. If he wants any sort of custody, let him put in the work if he wants to see your son. Make note of the date/time/place you did take him and also that you requested it just be him for the reasons you stated, and that he couldn’t respect those simple wishes. If he can’t respect little things and he keeps getting away with it…he will continue to disregard you and continue to disrespect that.
He need to talk to his PO for visitation right and until then keep ur baby with u. U can get in trouble if it has not been court cleared for him to be around any child under 18
Let him take you to court if he wants toChange things you can also take them back to court to make sure you’re doing everything you can to protect your children
My daughter doesnt know her father either and he signed the birth certificate. We dont get along because he makes threats and doesnt try to spend anytime with ny daughter at a public place. He claims to be takin me to court ok that way I can request supervised visits because of his temper. I dont allow him at my house he doesnt want me to know where he wants to take my daughter Im sure to meet his new wife.
It’s not alienation. There is no reason for his girlfriend to be there. Get an attorney- and start communicating only in text and emails since he is accusing you of alienation. That way there’s no he said/she said. If your state is a one party recording state, then I’d start recording any visitations you have, too. You need to start documenting everything.
He most likely isnt suppose to be around children. His own child included until he gets permission from the courts.
Let me just state this if he takes you to court your child will be around his father and who ever he wants him to. Some people are Ass you just have to try and put your feelings a side and try to let your son know his dad. With all he got going on sorry not my kid🤷♀️ I’m just saying praying it works out. We have to remember in some courts they could care less they will give your kid to the devil himself no matter if he Denied him and was never around he’s I guess trying with the girl friend at the hip. Pray on it and do what’s best.
Not sure where this is but here in Arkansas if they are a sexy offender they are not allowed around child except their own unless a judge says other wise. So sorry you are going through this
A court deemed a go between for one of my friends. She had to have someone pick the kids up from someone he picked. The two never saw each other. If your child is only 5 mo. I don’t he would do well. Maybe a female help would be better.
Here is my opinion as I have a similar situation. He isnt a sex offender but still. What you need to do is sit down and talk as a group. If you and her can talk private without him I would. See if you can resolve your issues. Here’s is why. My ex is a pos and I dont trust him. His gf on the other hand while I didnt like her I tolerated her bc she kept my son safe. I knew that at least one person was watching my child. The thing you have to realize is no matter what you do he will put whoever in the child’s life and you can’t stop him. But if you change your approach you will be better and wiser. I always a step ahead, less stressed and happier. I would def get supervised visits.
Contact your local Child protection or law enforcement and they can mediate for you and set those boundaries.
Depending on why he’s on the sex offender list, I would go to court or at least a mediation to have supervised visits until you & your son feel comfortable enough for him to have unsupervised visits. I never saw where it said girlfriends or boyfriends of the bio parents were not allowed there, but each state is different.
In Arkansas if you were never married he has no rights to the child anyway without court order . So I would say you can make the call on who he has around or not .
Why have relations with a SO? Now you want to be picky about said person being around the baby! 
Based on what you said… sex offender and on probation. Sounds like he shouldn’t be in the picture at all. Court to ensure it stays that way.
Go to your child protective services and I believe they should make appointments for your child to see their father and you won’t have to be there and the girlfriend can’t be there it’s just him and the child and a supervisor it may cost it may not cost
Ummm… why r u taking your child to a sex offender? You do realize that ANYTHING can happen to YOUR child if he’s in the picture. I’d seriously rethink your plan with this man. It’s best to have him out of your lives for both of your safety.
I would wait till he took you to court and if he doesn’t obey your request then I wouldn’t let him see the kid
Unless she has done something, you don’t really have a leg to stand on…court wise… otherwise, I feel ya sister, also…think of this…at least there’s supervision in a shitty situation…
Why on sex offender list would be my first question. I know there are different reasons to be on the list just for peeing behind a tree with nobody around will get you on the SO list. Which is very misleading . As far as the girlfriend I don’t think she has any reason to be there for now. Why would she want to be there and your ex should be focusing on the child
Has he been paying child support? I would go to court first I wouldn’t do anything till then given that he is what he is
You need to find out if hes allowed around kids call his po to see how they feel about it. call cys to ask questions
I mean why do you have such a problem with her? That would be my number one question. Is the reason petty? If it’s petty and it’s something you have ZERO control over then get over it. Control what YOU can control and leave it at that. He seems to at least be trying. And at 5.5 months old, your excuse to “overwhelm” your son it’s bullshit and it sounds bitter. Sounds like maybe you’re not over him or whatever. You sound childish. I’m so tired of people looking for reasons to play games. Unless he’s a pedophile, then let him try and be a dad. Damn.
HELLOOOOO! Dad SO,BIIIG RED FLAG!!! Don’t let him ANYWHER NEAR HIM!!
Court is going to be your safest bet honey
I’m not sure why you would really want him to know him - given he’s a registered sex offender. I don’t know what he did to get on that list. But that PLUS him totally disregarding your wishes should pretty much tell you all you need to know going forward.
Get court ordered conditions
Get an atterney!! Document everything.if u don’t have the cash call the friend of the court talk with them.
You have no problem with him meeting your son… just her. You stated he is a REGISTERED sex offender. There are occasionally situations where you get end up having to register without having a sexual crime… but the fact that you are more concerned about the girlfriend is seriously pathetic. Grow up. Go to court. See if he can even have rights before you worry about his next girlfriend who isn’t you honey. 
Also why TF was he at a mall if he’s registered?
Why is he a RSO??? But go to court urself and file for Primary custody and ask the courts your options him being a felon might help in ur favor
Did you know he was a registered sex offender when you got with him
Sex offenders aren’t allowed around children. He wouldn’t be seeing mine at all!
Call a custody lawyer that have a free sit down
The girlfriend was there to make sure you didn’t steal her S.O. man from her.
Honestly you need some growing up to do. You will never be able to control who your ex has around. Yes courts can get involved maybe it should be if you two can not get on same page. Man I just dont understand why you would want your children are a pedophile at all? It probably should be supervised visit
Oh hell no registered sex offender hell no I wouldn’t let my child near that person even if he’s the father
My x husband was on a sex offender registry for 10 years when I met him. He still shared joint custody with his x wife. Her residency was with us, went to school in our town. Back when he was in the Navy and supposedly he was on an underway and his roommate back on base in the barracks used his computer for porn. Well I don’t know the sequence of events but either way he took back possession of his computer. Possession is 9/10 of the law. He got sent to JAG and the brig. He was stripped of all medals, rank, benefits and received a dishonorable discharge. He’s off now but it fd him up and his career. Everyone is different. unless you know the details do what you think is best or obtain all information so you have the facts before withholding his child from him. Just my opinion.
He can threaten you all he wants with taking you to court but being as he’s a registered sex offender he won’t be allowed any contact with your son. You are giving him a privilege by letting him see your son and he needs to realize that!! I would definitely talk to an attorney and get something in writing about visitation. Make the papers state that visitation is to be in a public place and with just the two of you present and if he doesn’t like it then remind him that you are doing him a favor by letting him see your son being as he’s a registered sex offender he would be lucky to get visitation rights!! Good luck with everything!!
Your better than me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my child’s father being a pedophile and being in my child’s life. I’m having similar issues because my two little ones are in the custody of their pedophile father and although he hasn’t touched them that I am aware, he has hurt my child I have with a previous relationship. And he hasn’t been arrested yet
I wouldnt allow my kids around a sex offender. I wouldnt have had a kid with a sex offender. What is wrong with people? I dont care about how this comes off but you clearly make shit choices.
If he is a sex offender keep your son from him dad or not
Sex Offender!!!
Uuummmm No’!!!
WTH!! I’m sorry but your not concerned with him being a registered sex offender??!! Your more concerned with his girlfriend:roll_eyes:
Baby girl you got this all messed up. Maybe talk to a professional to seek sound advice before you meet up with him again.
If he’s a registered sex offender because he had sex with another child, I would NEVER let him see my child to begin with
Before we go judging a man for being on the registry let’s remember that ppl get on the registry for alot of reasons. Some crimes horrible. Some really dumb… pissing in the street for example. And yes it fucking happens. I agree that a child should meet his bio parent and have a relationship with child before introducing another person into it. My kids father is only in her life to impress whatever flavor of the week he has. Dont judge someone based on a broken system
with regards to your older children - if he’s restricted from being around minors then you absolutely don’t have to have him around them - in fact YOU can be held negligent from exposing them to him since you know he is a sex offender on probation. - find a babysitter. do not take them to visitations. His being a sex offender not allowed to see unrelated minors and you not having child care are not a valid reason to cancel mandated child visitation. - and CPS WILL react negatively if someone tells them you’re exposing your other children to a sex offender - even if he’s not prohibited from being around children - they’ll open a case and do an investigation and investigations against you always look bad when you go to court seeking custody changes. even if they prove to be unfounded charges.
most states have decreed that sex offender parents are allowed to see their biological children regardless of their status UNLESS they harmed their children. However check with child protective services in your state - they may agree to assisting you in obtaining court mandated supervised visitation. it would then be up to your ex to pay for supervision or find someone that the court finds acceptable to be a free supervisory person - and you could request that his girl friend NOT be an acceptable person to supervise (not always granted) supervised visitation limits how many people can be at a visit typically. particularly in paid situation where the person has to use a CPS approved person.
but if the courts have already decreed that he gets visitation and have not decreed that he needs to have supervised visitation - then you’d have to go back to court to change it to supervised visitation AND to request limitations on who is allowed at visitations. you need to have cause NOT present at the time original visitation was granted to modify visitation.
if there is no court order for visitation - GET ONE! particularly with him being registered. CPS is a good place to look as to finding out where to get help to get a low cost lawyer since he does have offender status.
He’s a sex offender?
Geez. Um thats a no from me all together.
But he’s a pedophile why would you want that in your child’s life.
I would cover your ass and get a court order saying he had a right to supervised visits, because to be honest you are risking your son by not having one in place, because he is a registered sex offender, and they would see it as you where knowingly putting your son in danger.
Take him to court. He is a registered sex offender. He can’t be around his own child without supervision. And he can’t put anyone he wants into your child’s life.
. Do you love your son 
. I mean I could see you wanting your son’s father in his life but… He’s a sex offender… tsk…tsk… I quit talking to my father because he was a convicted sex offender… I love my son more than the relationship I didn’t have with my father…
Hmmmm…I think it would be common sense to not let your child in the presence of a sex offender.