I’m 33 weeks pregnant and the baby’s father thinks it’s okay to just take our kid away from me as soon as I give birth for a while weekend and I won’t allow it. I want to wait at least a month or two. Am I in the wrong? Never said I would keep him from his son. He can see him anytime he wants but I don’t want him staying over anywhere until he’s a little older. Need opinions.
Do what you feel Mama, you know best!
Get a custody agreement in writing.
No newborns stay with mom! Courts wont have it. You cant rip a newborn away from its mom it was just born into a chaotic world.
Usually the courts won’t allow that, especially if you’re breastfeeding. They will set some sort of visitation schedule without overnight visits. But will revisit it once the baby get a bit older.
Your the one carrying and birthing the baby so…your baby your rules.
Breastfeeding or not that’s way too soon to take a newborn away from it’s mom
Baby needs his momma, i would wait
Definitely Not okay. A baby needs to be with the Mother for awhile, after giving birth!
Court ain’t gonna have it 🤷
No there are to many germs
Ask your lawyer about it.
Keep the baby with you
If you arent married and u dont have a custody agreement whatever you say goes.
Defiantly wait, if father wants to see baby, the father goes to the baby until baby is old enough.
Newborn needs to stay with mom. That’s ridiculous. I’d get a court order for sure.
That would be a no esp if u r breast feeding.
Newborns need their mother
Courts wont allow it… I about went threw a divorce and the judge said nope, not at that early of an age.
Should be 50/50 from jump and he’s asking for way less than that.
What is a “while weekend”? are you still married to the baby’s father? Are you with the baby’s father? Do you have a custody agreement see in place? These are things you should have had as soon as you found out you were pregnant (or realized you got pregnant by someone you didn’t like 🤷) Or at least under way to be signed in the hospital.
I personally think that over nights without mum is a stupid idea. Bub needs mum. Sure day time visits and that but not over night away from mum
Courts won’t allow it the majority of the time. Breast feeding moms have to be with their babes. This is no ok
Me and my x separated when my baby was 5 weeks old I exclusively breastfed and the GAL and the judge ordered that she could not go for overnights until she was 18 months
Where I am from they do a graduated visitation. Rarely do dads get 50/50 right at the start. I suggest you get a lawyer and get some visitation orders in place for all of yalls sake.
You dont have to put him on the certificate or give him rights if he wants to be a jerk. I went through this 2 years ago. Feel free to PM me. He has visitation and he learned to grow up and treat me with respect real quick.
How’s the baby going to breast feed without you? Tell him that
Baby needs to be with mommy get some legal papers filed
It’s not like he can just walk out the hospital with him. Newborns normally need to stay w their mothers for awhile yes… Just make sure when you leave the hospital wou have family or someone with you if your worried about kidnap. But from my understanding, when babies are born, they have like ankle monitors so they cannot be kidnapped from the hospital. And when you leave they are gonna give you the baby, not him.
Noooooo that’s mental!!! Wether your breast feeding or not. There is no way he should be away from you for a while weekend with Sumone who isn’t in his life 24/7 I’m sorry but no! Dad or no dad doesn’t mean Shit no one will know that baby as well as u! I wouldnt say til at least 5/6 months maybe even longer xxxx
No. Not okay medically mentally legally or at all! No if s ands or buts! Screw that.
If he is the father & he takes the baby, can you be sure he would give your little one back? What is the point of his taking her? To see grandma far away? For the first month at a minimum, anyone wanting to see the baby should come to you.
Courts more than likely won’t allow it and if he has a problem with YOU not allowing it at first take him to court then he won’t have a choice
No way. He needs his mama, ESPECIALLY right after he’s born. What is that guy thinking?! Plus if he’s up to something…
get those papers signed before any visit, because if you don’t file for legal custody he can get him from you on a visit and refuse to give him back, and if there isn’t a legal papers involved he will be allowed to keep him or her until a judge hears your case, file before birth
My kid went at 6 weeks. Only bc my mother was dying. I don’t see nothing wrong with it. He wants to be in his life. That’s the life of sharing a child. We now do every 5 days.
I agree he can come there thats to little.
No younger than 4 months. They can’t regulate their body temperature until then. No way of knowing what’ll happen.
If you are not with him I would only allow visits with you until paperwork is filed.
Depends on where you live you have full custody and he would have to file… Look into state laws
What a class act he is! Stressing out and bullying you while you are very pregnant. Don’t put him on the birth certificate that’s first. Second knowing what I know now I wouldn’t even let him in the dang hospital. I’ve dealt with enough jerks to know his type. Shameful.
Every body has missed the main thing. What does he know about taking care of a newborn baby ?
No, do NOT allow that!!!
No that’s not ok! You need mother-baby bonding time. Baby needs YOU early on, more than anything else. Dad can visit at your house at first, and then begin to do day visits maybe in a few months. No overnight visits until they baby is settled into the world and has mama by his side as much as possible!
Fuck no! Who knows what could happen sounds like he may want to harm the baby anyone in their right mind would know to not take the baby away from their mother until way older.
First 3years of baby’s life should always be with his/her mother the bond for the child is important for the father too but if parents aren’t together in my opinion baby stays with mum he can visit any time the father has his rights but security wise I believe child needs mum more
Um actually its vital that the baby bonds with you and the father. As soon as the baby is born won’t work if your scared that he will try and leave with the baby tell your nurses before you go into full blown labor.
That much time away that young wont work. Especially if you plan to breast feed. They reccomend no extended time awy from mom for the first 12 weeks
If you’re breastfeeding there’s laws in place to where they can’t stay overnight. For one the baby wants no one but mom for like the first 3 months breast feeding or not… but yeah do the breastfeeding then no judge will agree to it. No judge would regardless at that damn young. Don’t let him stress you out he’s a douche
Not okay! Get a lawyer involved! Especially if you’re planning to nurse the baby!!!
Not til a few months old
He shouldn’t be away from you overnight for a LONG time
Especially if you plan on breastfeeding
Nope not until the child’s older
Do NOT let him sign the birth certificate or be at the birth!!! You will be stuck with him fighting for custody or bouncing your baby between houses for the rest of your life. Keep your birth private! Smartest decision I ever made.
Why would the father want to take the baby right after birth. The baby doesn’t have a immune system yet. The baby needs to stay away from people except close family members for that reason. It’s not good to touch or kiss the baby right after birth unless it’s just mother and father. Mom also needs that time to bond with her baby.
My daughters father wasnt allowed overnights till 2 yrs. That’s if u break up while pregnant and he never spent a night with her. Courts will not give him overnights unless u allow it first. So dont! Make him take u to court
I mean you have to worry about the baby getting sick and everything its best to just stay home for a few months. Even the grocery store sucks with a new born.
No way! Baby stays with Mommy
I would say “sure, as soon as you’re able to nurse him”
The baby needs to stay away from most people. You technically need the time with the little one to. The baby needs to adjust get her or his immune system up. He would do more harm by wanting to take her or him right off
Breast feed. He can’t go anywhere with out you no exceptions. And don’t pump for him either.
No way. Not until the kid is 2
He has rights as a father to his child. And if he is not a deadbeat dad, then he will be ok. BUT…that baby will need their mother after birth. 1st 3 months especially.
If your gut is sending you bad vibes about the father of your child, then that would a different story. You need to seek counsel. Protecting yourself and that baby is #1 priority
No that baby needs you for the first few months. It is use to your scent voice etc and especially if your breastfeeding. Yes its important for the father to spend time too but I wouldnt be comfortable with overnights right away. If he is trying to bully and scare you please get an attorney. It sounds like you haven’t even had the baby yet and hes trying to make all the rules. Go with your instincts I think you already know the answer to this question.
In tn the mother automatically has primary custody if not married. Like it or not. Father gets every other wknd.
I wouldnt let my baby go anywhere over night for a few months. But you need to talk to a lawyer and get legal advice.
I heard somewhere that he cant take the baby if your nursing? Is that true?
That’s very reasonable and if you have worries about him taking baby I would go and file for custody asap you can still do it while pregnant
Tell him your breastfeeding and you can’t… and if he takes it to courts they won’t let him cause your breastfeeding
It’s his right? Technically if he took the kid (if his name is on birth certificate) he wouldn’t have to give him back… paternal rights
Absolutely not! That baby needs its momma 24/7 daddy can come visit, but anywhere that baby goes momma goes too!
If y’all are not married he doesn’t have to be there unless you want to. Beside that they will want to do proof that he is father of the baby since y’all aren’t married. Beside my SO can’t sign unless I let him, and I am the only one allowed to touch the birth certificate
I’m pretty sure any Judge would say the baby can only spend so many hours away from mom until they are a certain age. Definitely not but maybe 2 hours away when they are only a few weeks old.
Breastfeeding it’s only a couple hours but if u don’t agree on days courts automatically do every other weekend and scheduled holidays
You are absolutely justified! A newborn needs to be as close to their mama as possible. For at least 6 months!! Not my business but since you asked for opinions. And, I’m also an R.N., a mother and a grandmother. Tell your kids father to chill for a bit and do the best thing for the baby
I wouldn’t allow it , and a tip if you breast feed your baby courts don’t allow any over night visits only couple hours at your home
Don’t put him on the birth certificate.
If you two are not married the baby legally belongs to both of you. I can’t see any judge ruling in dads favor to take a newborn baby away from his mother for dad to have a fun weekend, especially if you are nursing. Your baby needs to be in a stationary stable place for a few months.
Nope if you are not comfortable for baby being around him have a fear he will take off with baby make sure you ask for security at the hospital they will monitor him coming in and out you could also add that to your case when and if you go to court most Courts will not allow a child to stay overnight till he or she is at least at the age of 2 start teaching your child sign language so you can have private talks with your child to see what is going on behind closed doors especially if he tells your child to not say anything to you he won’t know.
When Donkeys fly he would not be taking my baby anywhere that young if he is any kind of a Father he should know the risk of taking a Child this young anywhere if he wants to spend time with him let him visit good luck with this and if he could act Right maybe let him stay and help you and your Son after all you carried this baby for 8 months l am guessing and gave birth to him it is only right that he Helps you now if he is any kind of Man and Father
He can’t do anything about it unless he takes you to court for visitation and even then it’s still going to take several months for anything to come of it so if you’re uncomfortable with it say no and stick to your guns. I’m not saying keep the baby from him completely, I would absolutely agree to him taking the child for the day if you trust that he would actually bring the child back. If the baby is in his care and neither one of you have legal custody through the courts the Police will do nothing but tell you to take him to court which could leaving you not seeing your child for months on end. I personally wouldn’t let my newborn go over night even with it’s father. My daughter never slept out till she was 2 years old an that was only one night. I couldn’t imagine sending a newborn for a weekend at a time.
Not ok. Baby needs to be with momma. Maybe let him come to yours if you feel safe, but leave??? Oh hell no
Don’t let him near the baby till you see a judge
You have the right to tell the hospital that the baby DOES NOT leave without you physically there
As soon as baby was born me and daddy signed AOP we both got papers saying 50/50 and that no one has sole custody, until a judge states otherwise. And even though we’re together still,10 years and 6 kids, its still that way but Maybe because he’s on birth cert. So in my case he could take any of them and nothing would be done but If you breastfeed then baby cant be gone for long though…
Hell no!!! Mother & baby bonding is crucial especially in the first few days of life. Dad too obviously, but definitely not as much as mom. My babies both cried for me all the time, if dad had them and gave them to me they fell right to sleep. He should be more understanding of that… Especially if you’re letting him see baby as much as he wants to. I don’t even let my hub stay w our 2 month old longer than a couple hours without me but that’s just me
Hell no especially if you breastfeed.
Nope it’s not wrong you need to bond with your baby x
I would call a family lawyer in your area and find out what your options are.
And a month or two later is too soon you should be together if not he stays with you for at least four months till he gets use to dad’s face x
Taking care of a newborn is not easy. Just ask him to stay awake the whole time while you are taking care of a baby After one sleepless night he will change his mind lol
I wouldn’t let him alone with my newborn , even pregnant you shouldn’t be alone with him, let alone let him take the baby anywhere. He doesn’t sound right, the situation doesn’t sound right. Right away, reading this, it gave me a ‘baby stealing’ vibe. I mean, there are traffickers out there willing to do all kinds of things, pay all a lot of money, for a newborn. Just look at that horrific situation that happened in Chicago. If your gut is telling you this is an issue, this is an issue and, god forbid, he does do something stupid like that when your baby is days old, babies change so much in the first weeks of life. Mothers ‘know’ their babies but you might have a hard time recognizing him especially if they’ve had several days head start before you realize what’s happened and call in a missing person report. Trust your gut. You wouldn’t be asking strangers their opinion of the situation if you thought this wouldn’t be a problem.
Get paperwork done ASAP. If you don’t he’s free to not give him back
You both made that baby. That baby isn’t your property or your pawn.
Lots of man shaming up in here. Wow! That baby is not your possession. He or she has every right to bond with dad just as much as it does mom. The fact you have a man who wants to be involved you should feel grateful. I was a breastfeeding mom, those are things you need to discuss with dad. If you are breastfeeding then no babe should be with your for some time. If he or.she is bottle fed. Then there is absolutely no reason why dad cant have baby 50/50
No. He might take her, and make you go to court to try to get her back. Until legal custody has been established, he can do something like this and you won’t be able to do much about it. Hire a lawyer right now even before the baby is born. Tell baby daddy he is welcome to have visitation rights, but only after a legally binding custody and visitation agreement has been made. Hire a lawyer pronto.
NO! And after, visit son in your place for a while. Interaction and whatnot. Plus have him change shitty diaper while he is there. Feed, burp the whole 9 yards. Do you know his family? What are they like if you do? I would bet he will take baby to his Mom to care for. So beware of your baby not being returned. So I say no, do not allow anything to keep your son from you. Yes he has rights IF on Birth Certificate. But seeing his son can be at your place.
A newborn needs to be with her/ his mum, at all times, It’s way too young to be away from their mother, though he still needs to start having a relationship with your baby. That being said if you have any particular worries about what type of parent he is going to be etc. You need to talk to him or someone about it. I think the best bet is to get legal advice asap, so it can be decided by the court, that way you don’t seem like the mum that wants to keep the baby away from him, and him spreading lies, and he will see eventually that you’re doing what’s best for your son rather then both yourselves x
Not if you’re wanting to breastfeed. A few days away will bring your supply down and he needs to understand that. Why doesn’t he stay with you so you’re both together around Bub
Went through a situation like this with my sons dad. He was abusive. Until custody was established in our state, he ccould keep baby and take the matter to court. Depending on the state if the parents arent married then the father has to pursue paternity. I would recommend a consultation with a family attorney in your area. They will go over your situation and be able to determine from there the next plan of action.