Co parents how do you split hoildays?

I've heard of doing odd and even years. But what about splitting the day how can you split where it's fair?
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My parents would do thanksgiving & Christmas Eve with one, Christmas Day with the other. For splitting days… I’m not sure for thanksgiving since it’s more of a dinner kinda thing? Maybe one of you could have an earlier dinner around 1-2, then the kids can go to the other house around 4-5. For Christmas you could do Christmas Eve with one, Christmas Day with the other… or you can Christmas morning with breakfast & presents at one house, then Christmas dinner & presents at the other.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Co parents how do you split hoildays?

Christmas eve and morning then drop off b4 lunch

we do the odds and evens for most of the holidays. but for Xmas we both want to see our son. so one year I have him for the morning, his dad for the evening.
the next year he has him for the morning, and me for the evening.
usually meet around 12/1

We do odd and even years! One year one of us gets all holidays, the next year it’s the opposite.

Odd and evens is fair.

The only holidays we split are Thanksgiving and Christmas. We also do mothers day and fathers day.

We do every holiday at 2 pm doesn’t matter whos day it is the other parent kids him at 2 pm on the holiday and overnight

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Usually it’s split every other year but when you do day splits, try cutting in half the time your child is normally awake. If they’re up from 8am to 8pm, they would stay at the house they woke up at until about 2 and then 2 - 8 at the other house and sleep there. Both have about 6 awake hours and the wake up, bedtime at each house helps maximize time.

Christmas Eve day till about 6 with their Dad and Christmas Day with me. Thanksgiving depends on who’s weekend it is. This year they were with me till 7 and now will be with him till Sunday.

If you go to court the state you live in has general default for years, hope that helps!

Splitting the actual day was so hard for my mom and sisters dad, not to mention on my sister and I. Honestly I’d never recommend it just stick with alternating years that way everyone gets full day memories. You can’t think about what’s fair for you. It won’t kill anyone to alternate years.

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One year I take Christmas eve to mid day Christmas Day and then my ex takes noon ish Christmas Day to Boxing Day around noonish and then back to regular rotation, then we switch the next year and the other gets Xmas Eve to day, Xmas day to Boxing Day. It’s the only holiday we split. Other than that whatever the rotation states.

In our divorce agreement if he actually was a part of her life. One year I have her thanksgiving and Christmas Eve he has her Christmas and then we switch the next year

My dad used to get me every other Christmas eve and my mom Christmas day and I would get picked up at 10 am by whichever parent

Thanksgiving usually falls on my exs weekend so he gets her at 4pm on Thanksgiving and keeps her thru til Sunday. Christmas we split and let her decide if she wants to wake up here or at her dad’s. Wither way she comes/goes around 3 and stays the night.

Since I work every other holiday I get them the ones I have off so today I had them and Xmas he will have them.hw gets them mostly all summer unless I have a vacation planned

Split in half and rotate Christmas mornings

We split thanksgiving today. I get them for lunch until 4 pm and he gets them for dinner.

typically we alternate who had her at the beginning of the day, but we agree on a time to switch off per-say so that we each have part of the holiday. this year for christmas her dad is wanting to visit his family and asked to take her, she doesn’t see that side of her family much since they’re out of state- so i don’t mind. but usually we alternate the mornings of the holiday.

We split the days so like this year for Thanksgiving I picked them up at 6:00 on the 24th and had them till 4:00 on the 25th next year their dad will pick them up at 6:00 on the 24th and I will pick them up on the 25th at 4:00

WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD…… probably not being passed around half the day

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DH & BM split every holiday & birthday…
Custody schedule never changes 3-4-4-3 schedule.
Who’s ever day it is not… contacts the other parent about pick up time which is normally around 5.

It’s not fair to split the day. What happens when family lives a state away???
Or why should a kid wake up on Christmas & open presents just to leave before they can play with them.
Rotating years & holidays is hard. But it’s what best for everyone.

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We all did thanksgiving & Christmas Eve with the dads side and my side Christmas & Easter sometimes time would allow for both but mostly this is what we stuck with!

How we do it for Christmas (Thanksgiving no big deal in my house so they usually go to their dads by 4p or whenever their house does it.) But ne who for Christmas (we don’t do the odd or even yr thing but we go around my 3rd shift work schedule so this is an example)… but sometimes I’ll have them Christmas eve to Christmas day (around noon so their siblings at their dads house don’t have to wait all day they are 6 and under. My kids I share are 12 and 10) but if not I’ll get them Christmas night (usually after dinner because again I don’t cook or do that fancy stuff) but I’ll have them till late afternoon the day after Christmas (usually 24hrs from pick up time.) We just kinda go with the flow really for all holidays we trade Halloweens. Kids don’t mind.

I split the day depending the holiday. For instance, christmas is around the corner. And although it’s usually dads time with the kids he knows I’ll be keeping them for the first half of day and he understands the meaning behind the holiday. Something like Easter or Halloween aren’t very family orientated so depending on who has the kids at the time will be where and who they spend the holiday with

Me and my ex husband do 8am-2pm and then 2pm-8pm on the holidays we need to share. Sometimes it just works out that his family does their Christmas or thanksgiving on different days so we just switch out and do what works for both of us.
Odd years, he has morning visitation and even years I have morning.

We would have the kids in the morning and their mom would have them in the afternoon but it worked out because our families do holidays earlier than hers.

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we alternate.
whoever has her thanksgiving, doesnt have her christmas.

& then the next year its the opposite.

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At first it was taking turns. One year he has them Xmas eve and I have them Xmas morning, then the following year we would switch. Other holidays same thing, take turns. But they’re teenagers now so it’s really up to them.

Sometimes it’s not “fair”. Sometimes we have to give a little and compromise. It’s never the end of the world- pick your battles- choose what hill you’re gonna die on.

We just switch days… christmas eve till morning then leave late morning, Christmas, truly who cares. Thanksgiving can be done 2 days in a row… one Sun, other Monday… so not a big deal. Alternate years of who gets choice. Maybe alternate choice for holidays so… my choice thanksgiving, his choice Christmas…etc… so not one whole year is for 1 parent, especially in the early years…

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As someone who split their time between parents I would recommend not splitting actual holiday DAYS. No one wants to unwrap gifts Christmas morning just to have to leave them and go to the next place. Or pack up their clothes and sit in a car. Sometimes it’s best to just celebrate on different days.

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We communicate about scheduled plans and work with each other so he can spend time with both of us and our families.

Growing up I lived in PA & dad in NC. If I went to his house for thanksgiving week, I was home for Christmas. The following year it switched. Sometimes Easter break would be long enough (if snow days didn’t shorten it) that I could go down there, but that didn’t happen often.

We celebrated ours together :woman_shrugging: so thankful my kids don’t have to stress about us all being together on a holiday or special occasion

I was divorced a long time & always tried to follow families tradition My husband family always ate late 4:30 or 5;00 & my family ate early 1:00 but if that didn’t work my mom would serve breakfast brunch at around 11 am or the week before She was always flexible

Honestly we do it based off the holiday. Thanksgiving I get our son most of the day because it’s an important holiday in my family where we all get together. Easter our son spends most of the day with his dad because it’s a bigger holiday in their family. Christmas we do that I get our son Christmas Eve and Christmas morning (we mostly celebrate on Christmas Eve and then do Christmas breakfast) and then he goes to his dads for the rest of Christmas and the day after Christmas because his dads family celebrates Christmas later in the day on Christmas. It works out perfectly for us.

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We split days. Well me and his mom. It’s what’s easiest for us. Some holidays like today she works so she’ll get her Saturday and do their Thanksgiving then. Christmas is always a split day though. Unless they go out of state to her dad’s and grandparents

My ex-husband has our kids every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve since those holidays are what his family celebrates and I have them for Easter and Christmas Day. We sorted all of this when we separated

We dont have a parenting arrangement. He sees her as he pleases which well is random. He just asks if she wants to go if she does she goes. He dont do weekends or certain days. Now that i think of it i want his life🤣

You should be allowed 6 hrs each holiday. If her dad has my girl on a holiday, her bday, etc I can have her half the day. And vice versa

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I’ve been doing half day there and half here with my oldest, They get night before- I get night of or I get night before- they get night of. It’s been switching. But it’s been fine for us. My son on the other had had been with me for all but like 1 holiday? And not cause I don’t try. But he’s 2 so he doesn’t really know yet.

My parents did. Like my birthday…one year my dad had me night before an morning of, then mom had me night of and morning after. And Christmas eve, morning with mom, night into Christmas with dad, Christmas night the mom. And then the next year my mom had me night before/morning of my birthday and same with Christmas. Eventually my mom got greedy and wouldn’t split, and when my dad told her had to due to court order she walked away. So it worked for 7 years.

we split the week pick up Thanksgiving evening which even odd like that

We do the odd and even years but we wrote in two days prior is the “other parents” days and the day of and day after are the parent whose “year” it is… weird but I like it

My family only really does stuff on x Mas eve, my stepdaughters mom does it on Xmas so every year we get Xmas eve and she gets Xmas. We do the driving. It’s easier than following the court order and trying to remember who gets what what year. We are flexible on other holidays.

Like this year. It was supposed to be our Thanksgiving but my stepdaughters grandma was visiting for the week so we let her have it and we get her 2 years in a row to make up. She deserves time time her grandma

We do odd year Thanksgiving and even year Christmas, that way we get a full holiday every year. Running around between houses on the actual holiday ruins the whole day, spend so much time planning and running down the road to accommodate everyone, it is much easier now that we alternate! Makes it more enjoyable for the kids because they aren’t worried about having to leave the whole time.

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We do odd/even years - ex: whoever has her for thanksgiving doesnt have her for Xmas. & then it switches the next year. But we don’t follow it like we used to. We kinda just see what the other person has planned (or if he is deployed or not) and go from there. I think mid day switch every holiday is annoying lol maybe for Christmas only but any other holiday it seems disruptive esp if you have to leave the family gathering for drop off.
Like mid day thanksgiving wouldn’t make sense since you don’t get together until the afternoon. As a divorced parent, you have to accept you will miss some holidays with your kid. Those are the times you make your own traditions

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We have a court order agreement (he agreed before it was official) that I get our son Christmas Eve to Christmas morning until 12pm. Then he gets him at 12pm Christmas Day to Boxing Day until 5pm. And depending on who’s week it is, our son goes to the respective parents house. :blush: we switch week on week off.
Father’s Day. He goes to his dads. Mother’s Day. He’s at mine.
Thanksgiving is just whoever’s week it is.

If it helps, we’re Canadian.

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My sons dad and I would split Christmas Day by picking up or dropping off at noon. Easter, Thanksgiving etc we would do dinners opposite days so if he was doing his on Monday I did mine sunday

My ex always got them (though he never took them but his parents would take the boys cause they wanted that relationship with them) they got the boys every Thanksgiving, & Christmas Eve. Their 28 & 23 and it’s still like that to this day & their dad & I have been divorced for 22 years now

I was a nurse so my kids grew up having the holiday on a different day most years cause I worked the holiday. Now that they are grown. Married my daughter husband passed a way and she remarried but the kid now have 3 sets if grand parents. They have holiday celebration with us grandparents on any day but the holiday. And she and her family have only them for the holiday with none else to deal with It works for us
My son divorce 2 years ago. They just see who is doing what when and go with that his ex grew up with a mother working in the medical field and her sister does too so I guess they celebrate when they can and every one of the kids just think it is normal.

Christmas Day I drop the kids off at their dads near lunch time. My side of the family has always done morning celebration his side was always lunch or evenings so it just worked

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Honestly, we just discuss what each other has planned. For example, my kids were with dad last night and most of today because his wife’s family had Thanksgiving earlier. We have a mutual Thanksgiving at his grandfathers that my wife and I attend every year. We just took the kids from there after. For Christmas, we will do our thing Christmas eve morning, meet at his grand fathers to celebrate and then he will take the kids for the night and do their thing. This can change every year. But, we always have a celebration together where the kids see us all hanging out and being a family and we also get our individual celebration.

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My sister in law uses to split the holidays up and then rotate every year. For example: She would have Christmas this year, he had Thanksgiving, and then next year it was the opposite. That way it was even and fair.

We have every other year. So I get certain holidays in odd number years. And he gets even years. It alternates. And makes it fair.

But whatever works for you both. Communication is key.

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Christmas is the only big holiday my ex and I split. In Australia it’s the kids end of school holidays for 6 weeks. We do 3 week blocks each, so we either have kids or we don’t. We do this as we both have family in other states; 3 week blocks makes the 5 grand in flights worth it and we have the option to have every second Christmas with our family if we want to travel for it.

My son lives with me. With all holidays, I have him until 2/3 and then get him back at 6ish.

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We used to split thanksgiving and Christmas . My family did thanksgiving lunch his did dinner so we met at 3:30 to swap . He got her day before Christmas Eve she woke up Christmas Eve with him they went to his family’s Christmas Eve morning . I got her back at 2 pm she woke up Christmas morning with me and he got her back day after Christmas .

Even and odd. It just works for us. Splitting days…I feel like that could lead to some issues. I would rather enjoy the entire holiday, not just half the day.

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My ex husband and I follow the rotating schedule with all holidays except Thanksgiving and Christmas day. I always have them Thanksgiving morning because my family does a big breakfast. We alternate with them Christmas morning, so this year is my year to have them Christmas morning, and then he will get them between 1-2pm. Next year will be his morning with them, and I’ll get them in the afternoon. We meet at our usual pickup spot.

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My brother has an agreement with my niece’s mom that they split their time. One gets them the night before the holiday up until noon and the other gets them the rest of the day.

It’s in my ex husband and my decree that he has them every odd year and me even but we’ve agreed to split half days. Like for instance he had them this morning until about 1 for Thanksgiving and I got them in the afternoon. For Christmas Day he will have them, I have them Christmas Eve and will give them to him around 10 am.

We rotate the holidays… one has thanksgiving then the other has Xmas and the next year it switches…it’s much simpler then splitting the day…

We do xmas eve and Xmas morning for one half and Xmas afternoon and supper and Boxing Day the other

We split holidays.

Wherever our daughter sleeps the night before easter and thanksgiving, is the house she stays at until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon.

Christmas eve, one parent gets her until 9pm. The other will keep her until 3 on christmas day. Then we flip flop christmas. I get mothers day, he gets fathers day and we have our birthdays with her.

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We would split the day… say for Christmas we would alternate who’s house we woke up at each year regardless of arrangement. We would do Christmas morning there and eat lunch then swap to the other parent open gifts and do dinner there now most of the time we would end Christmas by going to or staying at the parent who’s day it was supposed to be … so if that meant going back to where we woke up around 9 pm or staying where we ate dinner.

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It’s never fair because the kids are at a divide…. But half the day mom and half the day with day and it’s like this for all holidays and birthdays

Holidays were never split with us he was invited to be with us together and spent every special occasion including birthdays

My daughters dad and I split the day. Who ever she’s with that week is who has her first. So this year I had her first, we did dinner at two and then I dropped her off at his brother-in-law’s house. They did dinner there then went to his moms. He dropped her off back at home after they were done.

I get Xmas eve and Xmas day until 10-12ish when dad picks them up and he gets them Xmas day and the next … but in our case dads family always celebrated Xmas day for supper and my family always slept over Xmas eve and left right after brunch :woman_shrugging:

My ex husband and I always split the days and it was great. We both got to see the kids for the holiday. My youngest has a different dad and we follow the papers because he’s an idiot, that means that my daughterand one of us loses. Some parents are easy to co parent with and others are not.

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At Christmas my daughter stays at home Christmas eve and then goes to her dad’s half way through Chrismas day and comes back home boxing day x

So for me, summer holidays are whatever. Easter we rotate Christmas and thanksgiving it’s court ordered to split but we are at the point now where we just talk it over and compromise. Also my child is 10 and at this point we let her choose what she wants to do. This thanksgiving we did she went to her dads Wednesday night she wanted to have dinner with him she ate with them i got her back at 3ish and then we went to my BIL house. It’s not about what you want it’s what is best for the child and what the child wants (if they are at that age like mine)

I live over 2000 miles away from my kiddos right now. We did 2 out of 3 years I get both Thanksgiving and Christmas break. Then my ex gets them both. Next year when I’m back in the same state I want to rotate, because I will then have bonus kids out of state.

My ex and I split the holiday the same way we did when we were married. My family has always done lunch on thanksgiving and his family was always about 5-6 in the evening. So he pick up the kids at 4. That’s 4 hrs at each house. And Christmas my family has always done Christmas Eve and his always did Christmas Day so he picks the kids up either after 8pm on Christmas Eve or first thing Christmas morning. He’s never been one for other holidays honestly. We have joint bday parties for them so it never been a big deal.

like one year mom gets xmas eve all day and might and dad gets Christmas day and night, switch the following year

One parent gets the child Wed from 6pm til Thanksgiving 3pm. Then the other parent gets 3pm Thanksgiving til 6pm the following day. Has worked well for my kids for many years.

We split it however it works best for both of us to get them each year, but they spend time with me and their dad both every holiday and birthday

My oldest is six. His father and I broke up when he was 3. We split holidays. I’ll usually have him for the morning and a bit of the afternoon and then he takes him for a couple hours.

I mean that sounds fair enough…

Splitting days is so hard! By time you get somewhere you are constantly watching the clock bc you’ll have to leave. You never get to relax!

Let say… at first I was sad. But after a while I didn’t had any problems. In fact, I used to see it as a break. Mom needs breaks to. Eventually it became extra days with no problem. Eventually WE (because we had court orders) decided what was best for the children. So every-time our children wanted to spend more time with their dad, I was like: take them for the rest of the week. Everyone was happy. Now our children are grown and nothing has change. Children were in charge of who they wanted to spend time with during the holidays. And I was okay with it…

Let say… at first I was sad. But after a while I didn’t had any problems. In fact, I used to see it as a break. Mom needs breaks to. Eventually it became extra days with no problem. Eventually WE (because we had court orders) decided what was best for the children. So every-time our children wanted to spend more time with their dad, I was like: take them for the rest of the week. Everyone was happy. Now our children are grown and nothing has change. Children were in charge of who they wanted to spend time with during the holidays. And I was okay with it…

Per the courts we followed even and odd years for all holidays and breaks. They had scheduled worked out.

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My husband and my stepsons mom do odd and even years per the custody agreement. But they are amicable so they will work something out where they both get to spend time with him on major holidays.

We switch every year. Last year he got the kids in the morning, this year I do, and we switch around 4-5pm she’ll go to her dads usually for the night and get dropped off at home in the morning !

Thanksgiving Break my sons Father gets him he also gets him Christmas Eve i get him Christmas day unless he wants him on Christmas than we do ours early morning he will come pick him up that after noon Easter we spilt the day.

Every Christmas they wake up with me than for certain hours see their dad that day. We switch other holidays so when I have Halloween he has Thanksgiving certain hours and than it rotates the opposite next year

My ex husband and I split. Thanksgiving we do half the day. He would get them about 2. Christmas- one of us takes Christmas Eve and the other takes Christmas Day. We rotate on that. Mothers/Father’s Day they go with their mom/dad regardless who’s weekend it is. Easter is half day split. We would never do alternating years. Realistically, holidays were spent going to different families houses for me so neither of us are missing a whole year of holidays.

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Currently in a custody court battle, but I was hoping to give him Thanksgiving, I would get Easter, and we would split Christmas. He gets our son Christmas Eve, I pick him up that evening, and get our son Christmas Day. We have a week on, week off schedule right now, it might work differently for you and your situation, especially if it isn’t court ordered. Best of luck!

Kiddo stays with 1 of us Christmas Eve until Christmas Day around 2pm. She goes to the other family’s celebrations & has dinner with them, and returns to 1st parent.

Easter/Thanksgiving my family usually takes the Mondays so she is free to be with her Dad & his family the Sunday. Halloween she is with me, and her Dad has joined us in recent years.

It’s whatever works best for you, I have learned I had to let go and encourage the relationships she has with her Dad’s side.

I get my kid during the day and evenings for her stepdad. He drops her off before I go home lol she usually goes to his house afterschool, point is…you & the father have to make plans for your kids.

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Our court paperwork has us doing every other year for the holidays and dad Xmas eve and I’m Xmas day. But because life is hectic for both of us we kind of just call and tell each other what our plans for the holidays are and come up with a plan for the day. Like yesterday I had my son while we were seeing my family and I dropped him off with his dad when I was headed to my in-laws. My son was going to spend the night but set plans to hang out with his friends today so decided he wanted me to get him on our way home. Xmas eve he will be with his dad and I’ll pick him up around 10 so he can do Xmas morning with us and then he normally goes back to his dads once we’re done. His dad has a huge family so they normally have more to do and really the Santa gifts (though he’s 13 and no longer believes but pretends for his younger siblings) is our favorite part and we’re normally done around 11. My son and his dad know that’s really the only part I care about him being home for since it’s something that can’t really be moved around time wise and made up at a different point so I want him home for that. Otherwise we plan out everything else that works best for each side of the families. It took us awhile to get here and releasing that we need to plan it out to best support our son and make sure the holidays are enjoyable for him and not hurrying up to make it to where he needs to be because of a court order.

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I pretty much just take Christmas morning every year and work out whatever schedule dad wants for other holidays. My oldest is 10 so he has a say in what he wants to do now. If you don’t get along well get a court order for every other year.

Listen to the other parent… If you guys truly listen and are considerate with one another you’ll know what is convenient for the both of you…

you celebrate your own around the holiday that the other parent has the child. The holiday doesn’t HAVE to land on the exact calendar marked day to enjoy it.