I have had a best friend of over 15 years. We went to school together, had our kids together, had many, many nights together and were inseparable. She came to my house the other night, like we would normally do. We drink, hang out and let the kids play. Well I turned in early that night and left her and my husband up. Which I feel like I trust both of them and thought nothing of it. We were all pretty drunk and it was just hitting me different that night. When I woke up the next day, I found my husband did not come to bed… I got up to look for him and he was asleep on there couch with my best friend…They were not laying side to side but head to head on the secitonal and they were holding hands…we always hold hands in our sleep so he said he thought she was me…which I get I guess…but now I can’t help to have weird feelings when she comes around…Am I over thinking this?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Could something be going on with my husband and best friend?
I feel like you’re not
Yikes. No, you’re not overreacting. I’m not sure I’d be able to move on from that easily either. It would be wise for the three of you to have a civil conversation about this so there aren’t things left unsaid that need to be said. If you don’t, it’ll just eat you alive.
I don’t think you’re overthinking it tbh
I don’t care what woman it is… Best Friend,new friend, old friend, neighbor friend. Work friend…etc… never ever would this happen. Hubby goes to bed with me. Period.
No ma’am, you’re not!
You are not overthinking anything and don’t let them convince you otherwise. That is not your friend and your husband is a dog!
And what was her excuse for holding his hand? No. I would def be alarmed by this.
Wow. That’s just wrong and messed up on every level. I’d get rid of them both.
Maybe they got drunk and passed out on the couch. If they would have done anything I think you would’ve found them both naked
if he “thought she was you” in his sleep, who knows.
If you are asking this…then you know
ASK them… or set them up. Tell her you husband confessed to you and see what she says!!!
You’re better than me cuz I would be in jail a few minutes after I saw the hand holding battery x 2
Have another night together & hide a baby cam, you’ll have your answer.
End of the day though, trust your gut. Don’t let your heart block your mind though, if you even have to ask than that itself would be enough.
Hey I know for a fact if the husband allows it yes your best friend will do it so be careful also now let me say not all friends but him not coming to bed holding hands keep a eye open
Hmmmm crazy. I would think the same.
Talk to both of them if u feel u need to
And also send her and the kids home when ur going to bed
I’d take note of it & be on the lookout but I know I’ve had too much to drink & ended up walking into the wrong house. I’ve found my husband cuddled up next to a bush after a boys night. So it’s definitely something that could have been a complete accident but could indicate there MIGHT be something. I’d honestly talk to her about it.
If it were my best friend than I confront her and him together.
Even if he did think it was you, why was she holding his hand back. Something is off with that for sure. I can guarantee I would NEVER do that with my best friends husband. I’d go lay in the bed with her before sleeping on the couch with her husband.
Always trust your gut
Not at all!!! Were they both still fully dressed? Were they drunk also? Holding hands and sleeping together on the couch is a hell no for me!!! I would confront them both and idk if she is really your friend she should have apologized for it even looking like they did! But your gut doesn’t lie but friends and husband’s do😬
I would be livid, especially cause I know my best friend is a [email protected]
It might be nothing. But. I would pay attention to her from now on. Any more signs, and nope!
I broke up with my fiancé 6 weeks before our wedding because we literally spent countless hours fighting over my best friend of 8 years and how he “don’t like her” and “she’s a hoe” and a bad influence on me
They ended up dating for 5 years and had a daughter together after we broke up
I trust not a soul……
I’m sorry but I’d go crazy
Do you have a phone record you can check for him? Or his FB or snapchat or IG? Girl do your research and don’t just believe them if they say nothing happened. I would not have her around my husband anymore. Is she single?
I asked my husband and he said of course something happened! Prob wasn’t the first time! I hope you can answers and peace. In what you uncover
This happend to me with my ex except we wasnt drunk. The sameee thing happened. Trust mee they did something. Dont let them tell you they didnt!
Maybe he was actually just that drunk he did think it was you and your friend might have been asleep and didn’t feel him holding her hand …
I mean if your best friend and husband was gonna have a shag surely they’d be a bit more careful
That’s something that would make me unfriend my friend or drop the hubby for… That’s not ok
I would NOT assume like some women are telling you to do, you need to have communication and voice your concerns to the both of them
Stop holding it in and confront them both together and watch their facial expressions… if someone is lying they can’t make eye contact plus some people will look up when lying some peoples ears will turn red they’ll be fidgety with their hands etc.
I believe your gut is trying to talk to you
Definitely raises some questions for me. I’ve been very drunk before with friends and still had a firm grasp on what lines you don’t cross. I could not imagine sleeping with my head on my husband’s friend and holding his hand. I would ask your husband and watch for signs he’s lying. Talk to the woman too. I would do it separately. it’s easy to tell when someone is lying. Trust your intuition.
Trust your gut, take the next step.
I think the F*CK not. I’d be calling everyone out and going OFF
You’re not overthinking, your instincts are already telling you.
Go with ya gut instinct
Just be careful who you called your best friend. My EX husband slept with my friend and just recently told me. She’s been smiling in my face for years knowing she’s done this! But karma has gotten the best of both of them. My gut always told me it was true…… but they kept denying it. He finally cried to me and told me everything. Always wondered why he “hated “
Her so much and talked so bad about her. Everything makes sense now.
I’d keep your guard up but I wouldn’t be so quick to assume either. Do you have any other reason to believe there’s more going on? Like has she been a homewrecker before or did he leave a spouse to get with you?
It doesn’t matter what women it is, if your married he’s supposed to be in bed with you, not holding someone else’s hand or head!!
But I guarantee that if you ask both of them in front of each other it’ll be it was an accident and they didn’t mean for it to happen
Shouldn’t be getting drunk with kids around. As for your husband and friend, they are infatuated with one another. You can’t stop a affair now.
Girl trust ur instinct !!!
If you feel something is off it’s off !!!
Trust your gut, don’t second guess yourself.
If you know his reactions and her reactions to lies, then I’d ask each one about it and see what happens
Something might not have happened but if you let your instincts down then it will happen .
Nah! This seems so out of place, I would be mad. I mean, what are the chances this was a mistake?
Trust your gut. Happened to me, while I was pregnant.
If I walked in and saw that I would’ve made such a dramatic screen and I’d probably would’ve tried to fight them both
I was always told , no overnight company PERIOD!! Saves you from thoughts and feelings like this. Just something to think about…
Think you and your friend need a good chat about this. Firstly it’s not fair on you if they did do something but secondly its not fair on your friend and husband if they didn’t and things could get ruined for all of you. Find out the truth then act on it x
Watch how they act around each other when you three are together. That should tell you something….
That’s weird. I’d never sleep on the same couch as my best friends husband. I’d kick him up to bed where he belongs
I wouldn’t have my friend over drinking unless she had a partner…
What she has done is stepping over the line
Never leave a woman around your man, I don’t care how much u trust them, love them, think they would never do u like that… don’t leave a woman around your husband, family or not.
I would ask and see how they respond.
You have to talk this through with your husband he could have left her on the couch then come to the bedroom to sleep next to you his choice his house his wife in their bedroom together where he should have been next move is yours.
No something is definitely not right with that lol
Definitely not overreacting. Under reacting imo!!!
I probably would have went off.
Seems odd. Keep an eye out
Pay attention to their body language and facial expressions and how they look at each other. You’ll know for sure what the truth is. Trust your intuition.
Definitely something is going on !!!
Maybe they really were bombed and fell asleep while talking. I say this because I know without a doubt that I can trust my best friend around my man.
Nope outta here with his ass and her !
heck no lol. my husband and i had a male friend once. super comfortable around him and he practically lived w us. one night he climbed in our bed with us, which should have been the red flag, but it wasnt. I woke up in the night to him groping my breast and pressing his boner again my butt. My husband and I have started nightly fun times like this before, so I thought it was him at first… as soon as I realized I got out of bed and went to sleep on the couch. I told my husband immediately after he woke up.
I did admit that it was possible that in my sleep I pushed my butt against him first thinking it was my husband… but that I in NO way wanted it and as soon as i realized i put an end to it real quick. said friend left that day and never came back, so i think he caught the hint.
does your husband always sleep thru the night? I have a hard time believing you slept on the couch and didnt wake once to realize where you were sleeping and who you were holding hands with.
A real man drunk or not would never cheat.
I mean it’s probably nothing. You said you all were drunk so if they would have done anything they would have been naked
They should not be sleeping on the couch together, period! Since there are children, for their sake, try to keep comments and actions as civil as possible. I would let both know its unacceptable. Do you love him and want things to work out? She no longer is welcome to your house and is not a friend. Pay attention if husband is gone from the house excessively. Be prepared to leave if they dont understand and refuse to cooperate. Then you head straight to a lawyer to protect you and your children.
Ask each of them separately if anything happened. A reliable denial consist of 3 parts:
“I didn’t/did not have sex with ____”
If someone says pretty much anything besides a denial (for instance: “I would never do that to you” “I don’t even find him/her attractive” “you’re crazy” or answers the question with another question “why would you think/ask that?” ) If the answer is anything except a reliable denial then you will know.
I’d be calling them both together and hashing it out. You said you were all drunk maybe they literally just passed out and didn’t realize. Regardless you were made uncomfortable and that needs to be discussed
After 15 years your best friend should have sent him to bed with you. She knew that would hurt y’all’s relationship, even if nothing is going on.
Seen this happen a few times over the years and its funny but during a “double betrayal” its the bro-code violation by the best friend that hurts worse than the affair by the spouse, good luck, I hope its nothing
Not a friend. She is the problem. He is too but that’s your friend… who you now know she is not. You do not put yourself in that position if you really give a crap… even the tiniest bit of your friend. I’m so sorry.
That is sooooo inappropriate. Regardless of wether something even happened or not they should both know better. Getting sleepy, go to your bed, don’t sleep on a couch with your friends husband.
I’d be pissed like hell nah go sleep in your bed with your wife even she could have crawled into bed and slept beside u
Sorry but being drunk isn’t an excuse. A true friend isn’t falling asleep with your man and a true man wouldn’t put himself in that situation.
What did the friend have to say about holding his hand? Even though that may be a normal mid sleep action for him, it wouldnt be for her…
Id wake up if someone grabbed my hand in the middle of the night
Nope they are done with you!!!
No your not over thinking I would have hit the roof she had no business staying up with your husband and he should have went to bed with you
Good grief. No wonder people are always angry and the divorce rate is so high.
Everyone jumps to conclusions and says that everything is unacceptable. Since when was everyone perfect?
When you get married it should be to someone you trust 100% smh i trust my husband. Hes always came home to me. We talk about everything and it works. You people keep secrets too much and question everything. Get a grip
More info is needed. She said we drink, hang out and let the kids play. Is the friend married? Where did kids go when adults fell asleep drunk? Are they really going to do something with her/kids in the next room?
This is very awkward bc as much as everyone would wanna blame it on alcohol… it’s still not normal. I wouldn’t ignore it and I would confront both of them . Don’t let them invalidate you. And I wouldn’t have her at my house anymore .
And you still let her around no way tell her to leave you and your MAN alone and tell her the reason
Girl …there isn’t anything right about your man not coming to bed to you and being found head to head and holding hands with your bestie …they both in the wrong and needs to be addressed asap
Him thinking it was you is a nice way to try and get out of it but he knows he didn’t come to bed and that your friend and him went to sleep on the sofa so how could it have possibly been you holding his hand ?
It sounds to me that the three of you drink too much!
Why not just talk to them both instead of listening to all these ladies telling you not to trust your husband and best friend? People are so quick to not trust anyone and nay say Just ask them if something happened and tell them it made you uncomfortable. I’m telling you, being outright and forthcoming from the start is the best way to be in all situations. Don’t nancy foot around the truth, just ask
I walk in and seen that I would have woke them up right there but before snap a pic of them holding hands.
Shoulding been drinking you’ll have children to take care of in the first place
Idc how drunk they were, that’s unacceptable
So he thought it was you but who the hell did she think she was holding hands with? I would have flipped.
He was holding her hand cus he thought it was her? Who’s hand did she think she was holding?
Spy cam you need one
I’ve been super drunk with my best friend and her husband and nothing like this has ever happened. However I have slept in the same bed as him because it was the only place to sleep, and she told me to since they had yet to get a couch at their new place, and I slept as far away from him as possible and faced the other way and so did he. So really just trust your gut feeling on this, sit them both down and ask them at the same time what is up. If you know them as well as you think, you’ll find your answer through their body language and your intuition.
Nope, you’re not overthinking it at all.
You got his poor excuse, so what was hers?
Short story: My ex-BFF and ex-husband would dial each other up multiple times a day while he and I were divorcing. Over the decades of friendship and 7 years of marriage, I never realized just how comfortable they became with each other — never again.
Trust. No. One.
Best of luck.
Oohh!! No no no. That’s completely weird. Sorry. If nothing happened yet, it’s only a matter of time.
sometimes one’s intuition is correct