I would personally then show up at his home with the proper supplies and take time to speak with him about what he needs to know and why you are there. Then have some time with her. Going over the things she needs, how to use them, etc… And remind her you are a phone call away. This way he gets education on it and so does she. And then they both know you are available.
But when I say bringing supplies, bring her pads, panties, chocolate, heating pad, ice cream, tissues, etc etc… Let him see what all could possibly be needed and remind him she’ll most likely need more of some of the stuff.
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Shes at school, not with him, not on his time! She should pick her up and meet at his place to drop her off as soon as he pulls in the drive, that would NOT be infringing on HIS parenting time!
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They’re both going to have to get used to dealing with this on his time. You can’t rescue her from everything. This is minor compared to some other things that would cause a need for you to pick her up a day early.
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It’s his time, what’s the issue?. Lol.
I’m sure he’s been prepared for this too, especially since he told you no.
My Mom was in Ireland visiting my Grandda when I got mine the morning of school, and a skiing field trip at that. My Dad came to my rescue and helped me through it 
She will be fine mama, I know you want to be there, but you will be. Let him have this moment too. Just my opinion. The school also helps if she was unprepared. If it’s a case where she needs to go home, Dad can go get her and help her out. Don’t make it a weird thing, that just makes it awkward, if you’re calm and relaxed about it, she will be too.
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Just a tip, as well, prepare your daughter’s ahead of time. Give them a little makeup bag with a couple of pads and a fresh panty so that if they do get it at school, they’re mostly prepared. I started talking to my daughter early on and gave her one of these bags to keep in her backpack for probably 2 years before she actually needed it.
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Does he have a vagina that bleeds ? Nope go pick her up 
I feel like this post is probably slanted towards the OP’s side so that everyone tells her she’s in the right to go get the kid and ignore the court order. My kid knew from the age of like 9 about periods. Her cousin got her period at 10. I made her a period pouch with everything she needed in it plus deodorant and a tooth brush in case she needed it. She recently got her period. She’s perfectly comfortable talking to her dad about it and if she needs something he’ll go get it if I can’t. The school nurse has pads. She most likely isn’t gushing out blood. She’ll be fine. She can tell her dad that it hurt her feelings that he wouldn’t let you come get her if it did actually upset her. Now will you be fine when you ex tells a judge you picked her up from school without permission during his visitation time? Cause that looks very bad on you no matter the circumstances if he files a contempt which it sounds like he would.
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I have a split reaction to this… it really depends on the man. My ex would not buy any female products and just the thoughts were disturbing and embarrassing to him. My now husband (he has custody of his children one male one female) he does not mind at all to talk about it and buy the things us female needs. So it just depends on how her father is. All men are not the same… if it is his time and he does not want you to pick her up maybe he knows how to handle the situation and on you considering he is your ex knows if he can do it or not…
Good thing I have a boy, be blessed and I hope things work out!
Why does she need to be picked up?
My mom was in New Orleans when I got my period. I was also 14 and knew what I was doing, but my dad was the one home at the time. I don’t even think I told him, just slapped on a pad and went on with my day. Told my mom about it when she got home from her trip.
Does she want you to? That’s the first question I would ask, if she saying she is not ok with dad being the parent handling this then it’s wrong for him to not allow it. However, if she is fine and isn’t asking for you then let it be.
Drop her off a care package and when daughter comes home take her out to celebrate that shes a little lady now
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He is her parent? What’s the problem?
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Depends on how the daughter is. Some girls handle it really good. Others not so much and it can be quite upsetting for them.
If she is upset and stressed you should be able to pick your child up. Let him have an extra day with her to make up for it.
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He’s her parent too. You guys should be handling this together FOR HER. Set an example and both be there for her. This isn’t about anything other than what your daughter needs, and she needs to see you guys be a team about things like this. It’s not an emergency, she’s safe. You’re lucky he wants to be there for her, and maybe look at it from his side- he might feel like you’re trying to minimize his role in her life. Work. Together. For her.
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So I would drop anything she needs off at school and then call her after school…there’s no need to take her from school…some men aren’t comfortable with female anatomy and view periods in some pretty archaic ways…but you can be there for her even if you aren’t THERE for her
It’s his time, what’s the issue? So she gets her period and you think you have the right to take over because you are mom? Because dad is so incapable of caring for his daughter? Maybe he won’t know exactly what to get her, and in that case, ask him if he would like you to drop off some items so she can be comfortable. But to expect to take over because shes experiencing her first period is ridiculous. Unless she’s specifically asking for your help, you need to back off. It’s dads time and that’s that. I am sorry if that seems harsh, but that’s the reality if your custody agreement. Offer to help, but don’t demand something outside of your custody agreement. Learn to work together and not against each other.
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Why is this an issue? So, wait until it’s your time to get her.
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The girl may be embarassed to have her father know this.
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I would take he necessary products and some advil and take them over to her
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Girls react to this thing differently.I would at least ask to speak to her…he could listen if he wanted,but I’d make sure she didn’t need me for anything.
I’m so happy I don’t have to deal with this I needed my mom when I started and I was stuck in Cali with my grandma but still it hurt I was scared I wanted my mom if she wants u then nothing else should matter maybe get a visitors pass and talk to her at school for a bit n then make plans for ice cream when it’s ur turn to have her thats complicated but I know I wanted my mom
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I don’t get it, she needs a pad? My coach always had some. Drop some off. She is 12!! My kids knew at 9 what to do…no need to leave school unless she stained herself.
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Wondering how the mum found out…did she get a call from the school or daughter…put together a care package, ring the school and see if it’s ok to take it in, speak to your daughter and see what she wants and then communicate with the father as to how she is…in this circumstance there should have been an understanding between the two parents for when this day would arrive. Men can also treat their daughters with respect and dignity when these things occur…how do you know that she doesnt have a close relationship with her dad? Not all men are ignorant…times have changed…
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Really depends if it medical it’s who ever gets the say I would definitely not see an issue with mom stepping in here it a moms place for sure !! Dad should understand this and it should be expressed very plainly that it’s your place as a mom weather it’s his time or not you can make the time up later
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Drop off a care package to her school in a discreet little case and let dad handle the rest. It’s his time with her and I’m sure he is more than capable of dealing with this especially since you have her the next day. There is no reason for her to check out of school. My Dad raised me and my sister by himself and did a great job with our 1st periods.
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Sounds like he is being selfish and not putting his daughter first but his feelings
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Um you go and get her wether it’s his time or not! If she started her menstrual period and needs her Mom and then go get her! It’s not that hard for him to understand
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Sounds like dad is wanting to handle it because it’s on his time. Why does she need picked up? The nurse has those supplies in the their office? She’ll be fine…
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U really don’t want to no
It seems like he’s just trying to take away that special moment between you and her because a dad knows how special that is… if you feel like you wanna pull her out of school for this and do your mommy duties then I think you’re 100% in the right and he shouldn’t stop you. You both have her for the rest of your lives… i don’t get the petty stuff
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What a selfish dad Lord help him it’s about him not his daughter
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Making it a big fuss could just add embarrassment/freak out your daughter, just speak with her over the phone and Dad needs to get her pads obviously.
If she went through in her pants just go to her school with pads and a extra pair of pants or tell the Dad to take time off work to drop some off if he won’t let you.
Many ways to resolve this.
My thoughts are she is embarrassed and her father is a #%#%
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He needs to watch the video from school and get a clue. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean you get a pass for being stupid.
My thought is he is an idiot
I wouldn’t pick her up, but I’d go to the school and give her what she needs and explain to her what she needs to do
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If he’s good with it he’s good with it. Pads are padss regardless of who buys them…Unfortunately mom’s just going to have to suck it up
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Pretty selfish and petty dad.
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Drop off a care package for her at his place… And have some ice cream and chocolate and nail polish ready for a girls night when she gets home tomorrow. 
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Did he atleast go help her? If she needs assistance, clothes, pads, wat ever, it needs to be delivered. Also if she is reaching out for support and guidance be there for her. Ask the office for a safe space for yall to talk and try to help her the best u can.
Does she need to be picked up? Is she having bad cramps? Is she scared? Did she ask to be picked up? Is there some reason you want to pick her up? Yes it’s her first period but her dad is perfectly capable of handling it and honestly the fact he wants to handle it is really sweet. So unless she wants you or there is some reason she can’t finish school.
You could easily pick her up, teach her what she needs to know, get her supplies and take her back? He’s being hateful
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It probably sucks more for you because you want to be there but Dad probably has it under control. At 12 she’s fully aware of what’s happening. I started at 9 years old and I was not fully prepared. I would have definitely wanted to be with my mom.
Sounds like the daughter wants her mom and dad is being an ass
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I would’ve went anyways, no one in the world who is a good parent and has a little girl would argue with you about it. Thats a bodily need, fuck him he has no idea how scary it is to start your period and want your mom there because she knows you’d understand and help her to not he embarrassed.
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Maybe she is scared, bleed through her pants, or just wants her mommy and called for her? Some of you are weird mothers. Dad sounds like a jerk. So glad I don’t have to deal with my child’s deadbeat.
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I would’ve shown up to school and we go to nurse room and explain how to use and wear a pad… offered a disposable heating pad and some motion and send her to class with a bottle of water to keep her hydrated. Place a call to dad let him know u stopped by left her with essentials and to have her give u a call anytime later in the evening in case she or he has any questions. Respect his parenting time.
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Unless it’s in A LEGAL AGREEMENT that you can’t see your child during his time, do whatever you want. If he can’t understand extenuating circumstances, you need to alter the agreement, she’s at an age where she’s starting to have options and those opinions matter. If she wants to be with you for whatever reason, she should be able to
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Go get her it 's a mom and daughter thing. She called you. Then take her to him after you have made a memory together. If he gets up set oh well. . Unless there is something other going on and you didn’t share .
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I think she should be able to see her mom if that’s who she’s more comfortable discussing her period with.
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F that. I’d go anyways
Selfish! Sad that parents do this to kids.
Don’t doubt Dad skills he may know what to do my husband took care of our girls ok took them to the store got what they needed and chocolate!
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A girl needs her mother at that time. I’d get her.
He is in the right, get over it
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F&$k him sorry for the language. If he can’t leave to get her how is that even his choice. He is ATA. I have 5.5 daughters ranging from pregnant to 17 years old and that’s not a dad decision. That’s even kind of abusive given the reason.
My dad was more with it than my mother .it doesn’t matter who picks her up as long as there is understanding
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the way my husband and his baby mama have things worked out is on her days, he can call her and talk to her but he doesn’t see her. now, if she calls and asks for him at school, he shows. and vice versa.
if it has been his day & she wanted her mother, she would’ve went to the school & helped her and showed her all the necessities. she could’ve even signed her out of school as long as she was home by the time my husband was. there’s no issue in that.
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If she says I want to see my mum he has to comply by what his daughter wants!! Honestly its disgusting!! Clearly she would want her mum!!! Unless if the daughter can also speak to the dad then theres no issue, but I understand in that case why the mum would want to be there for her daughter with such a massive milestone in her life x
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These are my thoughts, if this were to happen to my daughter, on my week and I was unable to get off work, her dad would pick her up and take care of her until I got home from work. I think it should go both ways, and whichever parent is available to pick her up and be with her until the other parent gets home, then do it. It’s not about you guys, it’s about your daughter.
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She will have periods the rest of her life why does she need you to come to her. Dad can handle her on his time and you deal when she with you. There is no reason to pick her up and using natural bodily things that will happen in her life to intrude on dad’s time is bull
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Why not just try to have open communication with their dad and come to an agreement that makes you feel good. Ask him if he gonna get her taken care or and how he plans to do that.
Stupid get take care of thing then back to dads for pampering time
Sounds like she contacted you while at school. Call the school and see if she is alright and if she needs anything and let them know what’s going on.
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Asshole that’s my thoughts
I would just go get her and take care of her. Dad doesn’t like it too bad!
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Let dad take care of things. She’s big enough to tell dad if she wants him to help her or not
What does she want? I’m sure she wants you on this matter. sadly there isnt much you can do. Hopefully he handles it well.
You don’t need to pick her up just visit the school and bring her pads. Ask if shes alright. If she verbalized wanting to go with you then take her but it’s not necessary to start conflict unless your daughter is openly uncomfortable talking about this with her dad. He is her parent too and will need to have a chance to talk about it with her so he can learn her needs during this time.
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Will he allow you to come bring her some stuff and talk to her or meet somewhere? If not that’s just spiteful and wrong, if you are able to text your kid maybe you should leave her a care package in the driveway, why is he keeping you from her if you have shared custody.I hope she didn’t have an embarrassing experience and she atleest got a hug
He sounds like a jackass. That child deserves to be with whichever parent she wants at this crazy moment in her life. Having to rely on her dad for that probably makes her feel uncomfortable and also the dad is taking moments that matter between a mom and daughter! Id definitely want to be there for my baby girl when she starts. To comfort her and answer any questions she may have. This dad is just rooting anger that will come back to bite him and I hope it does!!!
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I know a so called mother who sent her daughter to her dad on the mother’s day to have her when the daughter had her first period because she couldn’t handle it.
Omfg what a jerk!! Every girl needs her mumma at this time!! 
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I think dad can handle it. Lol. Is it your daughter asking for you to come get her? If so, he should let her. If it’s just you wanting to get her, then no.
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If i was u i go pick her up she might need a shower and get clean doesnt feel comfortable
Wow. Just goes to show you he is in it for the control not the kids best interests….
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I remember starting my menstrual the 1st time. I told my dad and all he said to my sister go help her. I really wish my mom had been around at that time
The only person that is important in this situation is her. Ask HER what she wants to do and then both of y’all should honor that.
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I would go to the school with what she needs to get through the day. Hopefully you have had the period talk with her. Support her at the school and let dad deal when he gets her.
He sticking to their arrangement. You will be able to see her tomorrow. She will still have her period and you can mother her then. Father’s also need to learn what to do for their daughters at this time in there life. So parent on both of you. Your daughter will be fine and so will you.
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Why’s everyone so angry over this lmao. If it’s his time with his daughter then it’s his time. He’s a fully grown man he’s aware of periods and how it all works, I’m sure he can buy her hygiene products:woman_facepalming:t2:you’ve only gotta wait til tomorrow lmao then she’ll be home, what’s the problem:roll_eyes:
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I think if your daughter has asked you pick her up then you go. There’s no reason why Dad can’t handle it, but I wouldn’t have been comfortable telling my Dad, asking for him to buy the necessary for me - and my Dad would have been mortified at such a conversation bless him!
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Good for him. Dad’s can be just as good if not better with this situation then we can. Girls need to be comfortable with dad also. Sometimes they are more comfortable because mom’s cause so much commotion!
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This man doesn’t deserve any custody because he has proven he doesn’t care about his kids. He’s consumed with hatred for his ex-wife.
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I guess some people, like myself, just feel weird/awkward/embarrassed about when they had their first period (I’m sure you know at least one person who got teased by a boy) and dads are just known for not being able to handle “that stuff.” I know I’d definitely want my mom over my dad. Especially if my dad was the type who believed I was 6 until I turned 25 lol. Should be up the child first. And hey, maybe the dad is way more involved than any of us know, or maybe he’s just doing it because he doesn’t want her to have that chance. Who knows. Either the child decides or they go together. But as long as she’s okay and doesn’t need a change of clothes or the daughter isn’t crying or being teased the mom doesn’t need to be right there.
So he’d rather her sit in school with blood on her underwear and pants? I’m sorry but WTF… I would bring her clean underwear, pants, and pads to the school directly.
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What do you mean what are our thoughts? About what exactly? He said no, it’s his parenting time. I feel that. I wouldn’t give up any parenting time of mine ever either. Maybe he wants to be there for her too. Good for him.
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I guarantee she already knew periods so she’s prepared…If not , the school has supplies…Let her take care of this and Dad can help her after school…Shes not hurt…She’ll be fine…Bless that dad for being a dad…
Maybe bringing her special for lunch or something next time. Hoping things get better! Co parenting grrrr!
Usually schools have an area in the guidance building where they have spare clothes and feminine products… At least the schools I went to do.
Dad is jerk. She probably needed clean clothes. I would have gone to pick her up regardless of what he said. Kids are cruel and that could scar her for life.
I would’ve just met her in the schools office and had given her the extra clothes and pads. Tell her to call if she needed anything else if she didn’t feel comfortable talking with dad.
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Then stay at his house with them. You may not be able to take her but you can hang out if she needs you. Let him be the assailed to make a big deal. Don’t say anything and just meet hey off the bus and ask her is she wants you to stay and then look at him and say she wants me to stay, I’m staying if she needs her mother right now.
I’d go to her school, and bring her what she needs. She’s is your child 24/7, whether it is “his parenting time” or not. To act like you’re not her mother, but when she is with you is crazy to me. I wish someone would tell me I don’t have access to my kids when it is their dad’s weekend. If my daughter needed me, I would be there for her whether he liked it or not. Sounds like he has a control issue.
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Get a better lawyer …
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He’s being a complete dick
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That’s a stupid dad. Thar’s the most embarrassing that could happen to a young girl. You’re a dumbass dad!!!
He sounds like an ass
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