Did I do something wrong with my daughter?

I have my 2 years old diagnosed with autism back in May. A little background, I have first child boy who is totally perfect in every aspect, 3 years later I had my daughter I was mid 30s my husband mid 40s. Towards the end of my pregnancy ( when I hit 30 weeks) the doctor noticed I was measuring small( the baby in the womb measuring small). They said I need to be checked every week non stress ultrasound. I did the 1st week then the confirmed me it was all mistaken and I am all good to be home and enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I went to my 34 weeks check up ( a month later) and again they said I am measuring small then they sent me to a referral ultrasound clinic to measure the baby in the womb. The technician said the baby on size just to the smaller size which mean petite baby. The doctor reviewed the results and said to follow up another ultrasound in a week. I did the follow up and they came to a conclusion that the baby is not growing and we need to induce as soon I hit a full term. At 37 weeks the baby was measuring 35 weeks. I was induced at 38 and 2 days. My baby girls was born all natural she was all good they didn't take her from me she grow up into a beautiful baby girl with autism. Around 1 years plus we start noticing she is changing and being a different than what she used to be. As a mom I have feeling this could have been avoided. There is something was not done right. I dont know if I am right, I don't know if I did something wrong. We are doing everything we can now to help her therapies and home engagement. Please if anyone have had similar case or a doctor, or someone have the knowledge to tell me anything that can help to know why? And how? I know it is not important but it gives a peace of mind if I have a 3rd child.
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At wat age did u no she had autism an what were the signs

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did I do something wrong with my daughter?

Autism isn’t a four letter or dirty word. Whatever you’re pediatrician encourages and you feel comfortable with, personally, I’d follow every avenue they set you up to follow.

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You did Nothing WRONG! I have a brother with autism and he is just wonderful!
As far as I know it’s not even genetic!
Please make peace within yourself :two_hearts:

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Autism doesn’t mean u or doctor did anything wrong never long it that way it just means God had didn’t plans for u guys n some kids don’t show it right away n some kids do just do more research n I honestly would watch fathering Autism its a blog on Facebook

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I’m shocked you got a diagnosis that young tbh. I knew something was up with my oldest son but they refused to test him until he was 3. Honestly I would get a second opinion. My son is definitely PDD-NOS but I had to fight tooth and nail for doctors to listen to my gut instincts. You need to find one that questions it instead of gives up. Some kids get misdiagnosed.

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You did nothing wrong! The doctor did what they thought was best for your daughter, which did not cause her autism.

Just a gut feeling, but sounds like she might’ve been a twin. Also gut feeling, check for FX (or fragile x syndrome).

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Nothing your doctor did or didn’t do would cause autism. Also, it’s very common for one child to have autism and the rest not to. I have an aunt with 5 kids, only one has autism, just like I have and aunt and uncle with like 11 or 12 kids (I lost track) and only one has downs syndrome. It’s all in the genetics. Also, autism doesn’t appear at birth, signs become prominent over time.

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There is absolutely nothing you did to create autism in your child. Autism is a neurotype that has no cure. I think a lot of us go through this stage where we as parents feel we did something wrong, until we learn to embrace autistic people and understand that it’s nothing that’s causing it, it’s just something different. :woman_shrugging:t2:

A lot of people will eventually probably tell you about vaccine injuries, trust me I’ve heard it all. Vaccines do not cause autism, autistic people have been around a long time, just have been forcefully hidden from society. You might be told of detox solutions, sorry but you can’t detox autism out of a person, they are autistic, autism isn’t a disease that can be fixed or cured.

It would be so good for your mental health and your child’s for you to understand there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it, there’s nothing that’ll take away autism from your child and there’s nothing you can do to prevent your next child being autistic.

I would research about the harms of ABA therapy if that’s a therapy your child is using, many reasons to be against it. We do occupational, speech, and physical because my son has delays in these areas and needs support, he’s not in therapy just because he’s autistic which is usually why ABA is forced on as soon as there’s a diagnosis, like something is inherently wrong with autistic people - and there’s not. He was put into therapy before he was ever diagnosed because he actually needed something from them.

Anyways, I’ll end my long comment with: listen to autistic adults, if your child is non speaking research AAC devices. And lastly, join Autism Inclusivity on Facebook.

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I think doing some research into what causes Autism might help you feel better it was nothing you or the doctor did. Also they could be extremely high functioning and the only way to help that more is to use every resource available to you now by all means get a second opinion but don’t waist the resources and therapy available now.

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Autism is not a dirty word nor is it a death sentence. Autism is a neurological disorder that is present in the child before birth. Its thought to be genetic. There isn’t anything specific that causes it and there is no way to prevent it. If you ask my 13 year old? Autism is his super power. Its makes him who he is. And if there was a “cure” for it, he’d turn it down. The first step is to accept that your child will never be neurotypical. There will be delays. Never compare your child’s milestones to any other kids. And learn how to advocate for your child NOW. No one can tell you what limitations your child may experience as every autistic individual is totally different. But they CAN grow into adults who are capable of college, independent living and even marriage with kids.

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The older you and dad have babies the more of a risk you have to have a baby with autism is what I was told by a doctor

You or the doctor didn’t do a single thing wrong, whether you went for more scans or had a perm baby you couldn’t of helped the autism it’s what the baby is, perfectly like every other baby!
My 7 year old nephew is autistic and my 3 year old niece too there just as beautiful as any other child x

Sounds like bothe children are perfect autistic or not

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My older brother who is 32 has ADHD hes still bad with it now at a full adult, nothing will ever change it’s not something you can make disappear, there’s nothing to be disappointed about and there’s nothing wrong with children or adults with autism or ADHD there all beautiful jsut like every other person xx

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I have a very good friend who has Asperger’s and honestly he’d probably be offended because he feels it’s a gift . He’s very smart with a photographic memory, has college degrees , does public speaking on autism. Autism isn’t a death sentence!

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Did she have her injections at 1? They say this is linked to autism, only asking as you said she changed around this age??

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You don’t have 1 perfect child you have 2 perfect children!!! autism is not a life sentence autistic people are amazing humans … I have a beautiful 15 year old boy and he makes every day different yes some days are a roller coaster but I wouldn’t change him for the world!! You don’t just develop autism its something you are born with some children are diagnosed early some aren’t!!!

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My son is autistic and this post broke my heart. Your child isnt broken, you gotta stop that self guilt now and learn how to learn and grow with her.

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Also please please please dont listen to the liars who say autism is caused by anything. Vaccines included. Its simply not true and has been proven many many many times.

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My grandson suffers from this. He’s the most lovable happy child out but he’s full on and needs watching . There’s noithing you could have done to avoid it

As a mom with a young child with autism. Its not a curse. Kids are just born that way. I view it as a unique superpower of life we could all only wish to have one tenth of their life view.

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There’s different studies going around about what causes autism. I’ve heard it’s caused by food with lots of additives we eat during pregnancy. Pot smoking. Medication we take… I have my theories. Something does cause it. We just don’t know what for sure.

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You can’t cause autism. My first 2 were born completely normal. My third is just different. Idk. She could be autistic but she hasn’t been diagnosed. Some babies are just born different.

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It could not have been avoided it happens and you don’t just have 1 perfect child you have 2 perfect beautiful children autism or no autism

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Please Google IUGR. That is why your child was measuring behind. Your child was simply underweight and a premature baby. I was hospitalized for IUGR. My son was born at 32 weeks weighing 1.3kg. He is now four. He is a happy healthy boy with no complications. I was also 36 when he was born so age has no impact on it. None of this “caused” autism for your child. I honestly think the real reason you’re trying to find a cause is because you’re finding it difficult to accept your child’s diagnosis. That is justified. I suggest you speak to a counselor. Wishing you everything of the best

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Follow Laura Clery she has an autistic son and she just posted a video because she had like feeling but the way she explains it… puts it in a whole new meaning it’s not a dirty word she just sees things differently and you have to embrace it and help her in every way possible… no parent lays in bed at night knowing weather or not there will be an issue with their child… you punishing you self for something you have control over look at it this way god chose her to be different and not in a bad way… As long as you are doing things to help her not hurt her I would say stop being so hard on your self and learn to grow with her… It’s not like you or your husband wished it upon her to be autistic… Relax and if your calm she will be calm and you can work better together as a whole… to make things work better for you all… best of luck mama…

If ur daughter was old enough to understand she’d be disgusted that you don’t think she’s as perfect as her brother. I’m disgusted & I don’t even know you🙄

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My 6 year old, who is on the spectrum, didn’t start showing signs until she was right about 3-4. Sometimes it takes a while. I always knew something about her was special from the moment she was born, though. She is absolutely perfect in every way! Autism is not a curse. It’s nothing you did wrong. Some children’s reason just born that way.
It’s what makes them a special, unique individual.
Just love her through it, mama. Don’t feel guilty. You have TWO perfect children.:heart:

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Mom of two sweet, autistic boys here. You didn’t do anything wrong and it’s genetic. If you want to know what the chances of you having a third child with additional needs are, you could see a geneticist and get Whole Exome Sequencing, like we did. We now know why we have two children with autism, we understand this specific subtype (there are several), we know the risk of passing it on, we know about other medical and psychiatric problems to keep an eye on in the future. My kids are such a blessing! Good luck.

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You can’t cause autism, people are chatting shit. Just love your child unconditionally and support them and everything will be fine.

I have also I daughter who’s 10 with asd and adhd and she’s my ray of sunshine some days are hard but it’s what being a mother is nothing causes autism its a missing gene that forms in the womb so nothing can be done but love and protect them like we would with any of our children

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You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re a good mom. Enjoy your baby.

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My son has autism and honestly the fact that you’re treating it like anyone could’ve controlled it is annoying. Not to mention you clearly didn’t absorb enough info to understand that ALL AUTISM IS DIFFERENT. No child has the exact same type on the spectrum. Plus you should probably stop acting like that baby girl is a burden on you and when you talk about your son he’s perfect but she’s not? WHAT THE FUDGE. like just so you know… my autistic son who is nonverbal and has sensory processing disorder and global developmental delay is PERFECT and he’s NEVER treated less than… and people NEED to stop blaming injections and assuming something anyone did caused it. It’s disgusting that people want to blame instead of accept. The spectrum is so wide that people walk around not even realizing they have a mild form or higher functioning type. So many things go into it. My son is lower functioning and he’s also BRILLIANT with some things, I’m offended by the way you talk about your daughter… I’m hoping that PERFECT baby knows how damn special she is and I hope your ashamed of yourself for acting like that. Sounds like a lot of growth needs to happen

Stop the pokes! Detox (look into trs )

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I want to offer you a more sympathetic response. As someone who is severely disabled, who also has a severely disabled child (Not Autism). My heart breaks for you because even though I know you are going to be a rockstar mom… you are going to have your bad days too. You’re going to feel all kinds of feelings, and the key to survival is allowing yourself to feel those feelings. Don’t bottle them up! It’s okay to have a good cry. It’s okay to scream into your pillow. It’s even okay to feel guilty. But, it’s not okay to let your child ever feel like you have a problem with them being different. Do what you need to do for you, so that you can be the rockstar that you were meant to be. Get help if you need to. But, at some point in the process you are going to have to learn acceptance and start enjoying your beautiful child. It’s not going to be easy. I still have my hard days too, but I don’t let my daughter ever think it’s because of her. She is literally the best thing in my life and I will spend the rest of my life proving that to her! You are not alone! You are stronger than you know. You got this :heart:

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Girl don’t EVEN!!! Don’t even go there. I did too and blamed myself for everything but it’s out of our control. My daughter has autism and spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy because I had a placental abruption and she was born at 28wks and I laid back down because she was my 1st baby in 14yrs and I thought it was preterm labor so laid back down for like 15mins hoping the contractions would stop and it didn’t. I hadn’t had a baby in years and had no idea and luckily we both made it alive but she is bad sick and non verbal and unable to walk or crawl or anything on her own and I question myself on a daily basis and feel guilty but drs and everyone said no it’s out of our control so I’m just believing god gave her to me for a reason and whatever it is it’s my duty as her momma to make her happy ya know. Idk :woman_shrugging: you didn’t eat the wrong foods or none of that nonsense. It just happens and you we’re chosen. I had a little boy a year later and had a tear in my womb at 30wks and he’s healthy as can be. It’s crazy how life works.:heart: don’t beat yourself up though.

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Oh I should also mention my 2nd born is my autistic one. My 3rd child is developing normal so far just like the first… don’t have a 3rd until you accept and help your daughter and realize that it’s UNCONTROLLABLE

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Nothing you did caused autism. It happens. It’s just a beautiful baby with a little dash of spice! :heart:

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Sometimes we don’t get to know it just happens

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I’m sorry to sound rude… it just makes me angry because of the struggles I go through with my child and the fear I have for his future… I’ve never thought something was wrong with him or that he was less than perfect…and it’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that people think that way. So I DO apologize for coming off harsh. I’m emotional about this stuff.

Well shit happens. Kids are born the way they are born. There is no if you did this or that. There aren’t any answers out there yet on a lot of conditions that one may be born with.
**Acceptance of your child no matter what is what really matters!!

Nothing you did or didn’t do caused her autism. Please be kind to yourself. She loves you and you love her that is all that matters :heart::heart::heart:

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1 year vaccines? Encephalitis can cause Autism

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Mommy please read this article. As far as I understand you cannot avoid or prevent it and sometimes goes years without being diagnosed correctly. Do not blame yourself❤️ all my babies measured small and 2 of them are regular kiddies and the one has Down Syndrome but we didn’t know more could we have prevented it because it’s a genetic condition. My advice is tooaybe make an appointment with a dr that will be able to answer all your questions with regards to your child. We saw a geneticist after we received the diagnosis

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I would say that your birth experience did not lead to your child’s diagnosis.

My son was also measuring small, and they had me do twice weekly exams, and they induced me at 38 weeks. He was born at a normal for gestational age size and completely healthy.
He’s a little over a year old now, the only thing we’re going through is that he doesn’t walk yet.

But, I think every baby is obviously different. And unless there was some huge mishap during pregnancy or birth, your baby is exactly who they were meant to be.

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You can’t give your kids autism, nothing you do causes it!
It’s somewhere in their gene pool. Two of my five are on the spectrum and one suspected but not diagnosed. Yet…
I was devastated by my first child’s diagnosis but it was the fear of the unknown. If only I knew then what I know now :wink:
I can look through my family tree and see autism. Most people with autistic kids can see it once they realise what they’re looking for. Years ago people just lived with it, battling it, hiding it! Nowadays it has a name and it’s nothing to be ashamed of :blue_heart:
But yes, if you have one child with autism it’s possible you will have another and they too will be perfect :wink:

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Autism is genetics not caught or because of something going wrong

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YOU!!! Didn’t do anything wrong! I went to all appointments plus more as I was high risk( my first ended in stillbirth so I was watched very closely by regular ob and maternal fetal specialist) with all my kids and all are on the spectrum. But, early intervention is key! Keep up the great work! You were chosen to be this baby’s mama cause you could handle it. Take a day at a time. Don’t form to “normal” and compare to other kids. you’re living and learning her world now. Be patient with her. And she is perfect.

We’ve did genetics testing and all three of our kids have the same extra 17th chromosome as dad. So we’re thinking it came from dads side.

You didn’t do anything wrong. We all blame ourselves though. There’s a complicated genetic link to autism. We’ve only identified certain genetic ties, but not others. You can have your family tested through Spark for free if you’re concerned about having another kid with ASD. I have one diagnosed ASD and one likely to be diagnosed. It looks different in every child, so keep that in mind. My oldest wasn’t diagnosed until age 11. My youngest was noticeable by 1. It is what it is. Nothing wrong with having ASD. Just makes you different. Keep up with therapy, and try to understand and meet your child’s needs. She’ll be fine.

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Nothing you did caused this! You have no control over genes and cell development. She is still perfect. Just love her and accept her.

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Deception: NIH Found Newborn Blood Biomarkers for Autism in 2013, but Never Implemented Them

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, There’s no way to really prevent autism
I don’t think you did anything wrong

Do not use “perfect” to describe your son. You daughter may be autistic but she will understand that she is less than perfect in your eyes. The term is neuro-typical for children without autism.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did I do something wrong with my daughter?

My children with autism (I have 2 with 2 different types) 1 of them was my largest baby born via c-section at 38 weeks. The other was born emergency c section at 24 weeks and weighed 1 pound 2 oz. So I don’t believe there is a connection to size or born on time for autism. Both my kids are now 14 and 15. The advice I offer is “don’t give up” give your girl every tool she needs to be everything she can. Push for her equality. Stay on top of the school system when she goes to school. You’ll learn your child and what she is capable of and what her struggles are. My boys see the world differently than I do, but I’ve enjoyed learning their world. Now that mine are older, I’m excited to see who they become. Best wishes for you and your girl! Hugs momma

When I first found out my baby girl had Autism , I blamed myself or maybe something went wrong, actually till this day I think about it sometimes, but the truth is, it’s not our fault, or there fault, God chose us to have our autism baby’s for a reason, and it’s ok. :blue_heart: seek counseling talk about this more and you will start feeling better,. God luck!

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Just because bubs measured small in the womb doesn’t mean it’s connected to autism. Some people have it and some don’t. It’s apart of life. And not something that can be preventable.

Cherish your autistic blessing.

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Nothing can be done to stop you having a child with Autism… some children could have no problems and others could…

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Reproduction causes autism. You didn’t do anything wrong. Autism isn’t a death sentence. Speaking as a person with autism.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did I do something wrong with my daughter?

Its a neurological thing! They’re just wired differently, wouldn’t have been picked up until she started to get a bit older and you notice things are done differently with her. My daughter is also autistic and its just some things that happen, doesn’t make them have anything wrong with them. Take time to understand her :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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There is no evident cause to autism, but the first early signs are usually between 1 and 2 years old, it explains the switch you felt.

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I don’t think anything was done wrong or could have been any different. You’ve been blessed with a little girl that just sees the world a little bit differently and your job is to make that a beautiful place for her and your family!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did I do something wrong with my daughter?

Sweetie I have a 15 year old Autistic daughter & I had same thoughts as you “did I do something to cause this?” The answer is no it is something that is there from the start there is nothing anything could of changed it, so enjoy your unique daughter, get her the support started in nursery so that’s in place as she grows, My daughter had occupational therapy in her younger years as her fine motor skills were a little bit off, it took until she was about 7/8 to hold knife & fork properly, we got given little exercises to practice with her but she was also diagnosed with Dyspraxia which is lack of coordination & Dyslexia, but she doesn’t let it define her! I will warn you that hormones & autism do not mix! When she gets to teenager!! But we have weathered the storms and my daughter amazes me everyday, she goes to main stream school & has been proven to be highly intelligent, it’s a family joke that she speaks French better than English!! Oh & I’m a single mum, her biological father wanted nothing to do with her as she wasn’t “perfect” :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: x

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I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say it’s perfectly fine for you to feel however you like. I’m not going to minimise your feelings by saying your child is perfect just the way they are because it may not be true. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and it’s very unfair. I hope you feel supported and if you aren’t, you can find support. Again, you can feel however you like and you should feel supported to voice your feelings. Perhaps less people would harm and/or kill their disabled children if they could reach out and be free from judgement.

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Youre eldest probably is autistic but more high functioning,I have five, 18-26,all show various levels of asd and adhd,they’re dad is a late diagnosed autistic(aspergers) my older brother,his daughter and his grandkids are autistic,I believe I have innatentive adhd so my household is interesting to say the least :sweat_smile: autism is genetic so it’s more than likely you or the kids dad is on the spectrum

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It’s ok to be autism…that just makes your beautiful :heart: child more special
It’s pretty dang special to be autism and nothing to be ashamed of at all
There will even be things your child can teach you.
Autism isn’t something bad or wrong,it’s just being born as being pretty special and amazing.

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Hi there, this is called IUGR - inter uterine growth restriction.

The same happened with my second daughter, however, I was given a diagnosis at 30 weeks and monitored until she was born via c section for being extremely small.

The cause of it is something they can determine at birth (sometimes) it could have been a placenta issue, it could be genetics, but I am surprised that you were not provided with this information.

Please look up IUGR and there are support groups where parents can share information around all sorts of outcomes following low birth weight.

My daughter has been followed since she was born for anything like autism as low birth weight is associated with some developmental delays.

We have not had any development delays, in fact, she is very intelligent and social, however her growth and poor eating habits have been a problem until now.

Is your daughter growing and eating well?

I encourage you to follow up re IUGR because sometimes it can be a genetic outcome.

By no means does autism make your daughter in any way not an amazing person - and you haven’t done anything wrong, in fact, it sounds like you are doing all that you can and that makes you an amazing mother.

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Nope not your fault at all I hate that society makes mums feel this way. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.

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Autism can be very different persin to person , girls with autism are typically very different to boys with autism …
maybe check out some videos made by autistic women ( it may help you understand your daughter better / see what this could look like for her as an adult ) ? Many people really misunderstand autism when it’s a very broad and diverse diagnosis , people mostly see it as one particular thing when it can present in many differebt ways

Many Autistic People live normal fulfilling lives

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It’s natural to question what you could have done differently when your children are born with a disability etc. My son had a birth defect when he was born and I questioned what I did wrong and the answer is I did nothing wrong just like you haven’t.

You have to embrace it and realise how extraordinary your little one is. I recommend you follow Laura Clery she just found out her son has Autism and has put some beautiful videos up that I think may make you feel better.

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She is also perfect in every way just like your first. Autism isn’t caused by something you do or don’t do - it just is.

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My 3 year old has just started her journey to be diagnosed. She can be challenging and she can be good as gold but she’s still my perfect child. I’m a support worker for people with disabilities and they all live a life like you or I do. I am not gonna be letting a diagnosis define her. I also have a couple of friends with autism they have jobs (one works at the local hospital) live independently have partners and one has 3 children herself. It doesn’t have to define them x

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I’m on the autistic spectrum and I live a normal healthy life. Given the right support this is achievable for everyone on the spectrum.

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I’m autistic, my brothers are as well. My mother never had an issue with us when it comes to her pregnancies. It has nothing to do with what you did. It’s a neurological condition. Don’t beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong. Being autistic isn’t a bad thing either, we just need support and a little bit of patience with us. Listen to your kid and try to be as understanding as you can. Researching on autism is fundamental too! You’re gonna do great, best of luck and lots of love! :sparkling_heart:

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I know you need/want reassurance…this is strictly my belief that there is nothing you could have done differently. From what it sounds like, in my opinion, you couldn’t have done anything different. My suggestion…love her…support her…provide for her. Do your own research, if you haven’t done so already, and form your own opinion. You can do this. Everyone has a different path…and for whatever reason…this is your path. I’m praying for your entire family…. Everything is going to be ok…I promise. :heart::heart::heart::heart:

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Autism is a neurological condition born with you can’t make them autistic, and perfect elder child well if I’m being straight my eldest is autistic and has anxiety and never had a melt down, never got angry never been hard work. Emotionally he struggles and more ways of life that I won’t get into but he’s the best behaved lad…. My daughter 4 Nearly is hard hard hard work but oh so perfect I adore them both and she doesn’t have autism. She’s the reason I won’t have more as she’s very hard work and I work hard job so it’s not always the case.

Remember No two autistic people are the same. And they are the same as everyone else but different in own way!
Joining groups and more hopefully help but you didn’t cause your child to have this. It’s a hidden disability. It’s apart of who they are it’s what makes them who they are and I wouldn’t change my son or my very strong willed little lady! :sparkling_heart::blue_heart:

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Autism can’t be avoided. It is a part of who they are and part of what makes them perfect themselves. You didn’t do anything wrong. I have 1 child diagnosed and 2 waiting for assessment, and they are perfect just the same as my neuro typical children x

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My daughter was diagnosed with autism a month or so ago. We are in the process of having genetics done. Maybe to give you piece of mind it would help to get it done as well. During the process of getting that ball rolling we discovered that autism runs in both families, her dad’s and mine. The genetic testing will help us know if there’s more to it than just autism, and if it was inherited. Either way couldn’t love her more. We also have a 3 month old and it will give us a preemptive strike to get therapies in sooner for her if we find that it’s more than likely she has it as well. It’s no one’s fault it can just happen. I to felt horrible when we knew for sure she had autism. No one wants to hear there is something different about thier baby. But just makes them more special and more wonderful. You go momma on getting your child help. It can be overwhelming with therapies, schedules, and so many other things. I know first hand. Some people ignore signs and never get thier child the help they need. Thank you for being a good parent. Much love from one parent to another.

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You did nothing wrong and autism isn’t a curse. They just see the world in a different way. Follow her interests, find her a school with a really good senco, neurotherapy helps too so she can learn to navigate her way in a world built for neurotypicals. My sister is autistic and I’m a senco at a school. It’s literally that they sense the world differently to us. Find out what her sensory no nos are, find out her stims are and then just let her be. If she’s non verbal then get early intervention with a speech therapist but there is absolutely nothing wrong with an autistic child. They cannot and should not be “cured” (it’s like saying a dog is not a cat and therefore the dog should be cured into being a cat). Enjoy the really tight hugs, the absolute unfiltered love and delight she will give, and try see the world through her eyes. You’ll see so much more than you ever thought. And have another child. Can’t promise they won’t be autistic but also nothing you do in your pregnancy causes autism so you can’t change anything if they are. Please, don’t see this as a disease or a hindrance. Just different. And FYI my sister is engaged, lives with her fiancé and is also absolutely stunning brilliantly smart. She just gets overwhelmed and has serious sensory issues (nothing headphones, sunglasses and staying away from certain materials can’t fix). Also invest in a weighted blanket, they’re life savers during meltdowns.

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My first born was perfect in every way during pregnancy and after. It wasn’t until he was 8 that he was diagnosed with autism. My daughter was born no issues. My last born was diagnosed with autism at age 2. You have done nothing wrong. Autism is part of genetics not what you have or haven’t done. All you need to do is love her as much as you would any other child you would have and there will be no issues.

Please educate yourself on autism. It’s not a curse. The more you learn the better you can support your daughter. Your daughter is perfect just the way she is as your son is. If you’re concerned you should have testing done on yourself and husband. Perhaps one of you or both is also on the spectrum. I am a mom to an amazing daughter who happens to be on the autism spectrum and have lots of neuro diversity in my family. If you have concerns or fear another child might be born autistic maybe don’t have anymore.

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It’s okay to feel this way but don’t dwell on this too much. Autism is genetic it has nothing to do with if you did something wrong :sparkling_heart: your girl is the way she is just because.

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U did nothing wrong and there is no way to predict autism, except that it seems it can run in families. Please rest assured, u did nothing to bring this on, and it certainly NOT linked to vaccines, so PLEASE DO NOT let anyone tell u otherwise and protect ur children by ensuring their vaccinations r all current and up to date. Early intervention is absolutely crucial for kids with autism, so ask ur GP to refer u to a clinic or early intervention specialist to work with ur daughter. Most important of all, DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!! This is not ur fault and u DID nothing to make this happen. It is just one of those things that happens, nobody’s fault, certainly not urs, Mama!! Good luck…u got this!! :blush::+1:

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It is not your fault, and there is no use in looking to the past. It is what it is, your family can still have a wonderful and fulfilling life.
:heart::heart::heart:

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Autism is genetic. 100% if you look at both of your families you could probably figure out who else is autistic.

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My son’s autistic and he’s the greatest blessing, I’m so proud of him he’s just started nursery 2wks ago, children are born autistic there is absolutely nothing you could of done to prevent ,all you can do is make the best of it and get your child the support and help they need it’ll be okay autistic children are very smart they see the world a little different than we do that’s whats so special about them your little girl is simply amazing and you’re doing a great job x

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My son has autism he is 21 years old and has achieved so much they do things at there own pace. I have questioned myself about things too as he completely changed after having the mmr jab he had no sign of autism before it. He has turned into the most loveable son I could have asked for. Do your best for your child and you will see how much she can achieve with your help.

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My daughter son was born naturally…born with club foot…but handled the plaster and brace sweet as…from the start he was really onto it… was talking heaps…growing,loved dogs and they loved him… and then he had his 15 month vaccination and boom !! stopped talking…change in personality…dogs wouldnt go near him…at 4 years old was told he had autism???

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Having worked in special education there is a spectrum of autism. “If you’ve met one person with autism you’ve met ONE person with autism”. Point is there is a spectrum or range of behaviors, characteristics, severity. There is a national autism society and likely a state or local group. Much wisdom gained from other parents who are living with and raising a child with autism. Your daughter is a child first, WITH autism. At age 2 the public schools are federally bound to provide services for your child. YOU are in the role of ADVOCATE for your daughter, her education and associated services. You may need a behavior specialist to help you and her teachers with engineering the environment and learning strategies to help her teach her potential. Put on your SUPER MOM suit. There is help and assistance out there. YOU CAN do this, you are not NOT alone.

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Look, at this point, we don’t know the cause of autism. There’s correlations between autism and certain things (like low vitamin d levels) but those things aren’t a factor in every pregnancy resulting in an autistic child, and correlation is not causation. Even if we found a completely preventable cause for it tomorrow, this would still not be your fault. We do the best we can with the information we have and we move forward with the results we get.

Your daughter has autism. This is not the end of the world. You got an early diagnosis and are doing all the early intervention stuff to give your whole family the best possible future, both together and individually.

It will be difficult, there will be challenges. How you are feeling is totally normal and understandable.

I would recommend finding a support group. It may take a while to find the right one but I would recommend you find one that won’t judge you for implying that your daughter is anything less than perfect when you’ve just dealt with a really rough day of meltdowns and you just need to vent.

Remember, venting is healthy (so long as it is always done in a location away from your children. They don’t need to hear your “I’m fed up and need to say a bunch of stuff I don’t mean” thoughts.

Do not feel bad when you have days where you’re over it. Do not feel bad when you wish for even a moment that you wish she didn’t have autism. Don’t feel bad for negative thoughts that are human and natural, especially to a mentally/physically/emotionally exhausted mumma. It’s how you deal with those feelings that make the difference between a good mother and a bad mother. Feel them, acknowledge them, overcome them, move past them.

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My first born has autism, all my kids are perfect I’ve 4 in total, but what I will say is my last pregnancy which I just had my wee girl 3 weeks ago was supposedly I was meant to have gestational diabetes, I went against all the doctor’s as I knew my own body and every time I checked my blood it was fine, they wanted me on tablets they wanted me on insulin, I refused. Baby also at 34 weeks was measuring small however all was good, they were going to book me in for induction at 37, couple days b4 my next appointment is noticed reduced movement, went to assessment unit hada fight to get them to keep me to be monitored. Not dat they decided to send me home that afternoon. I was only home 1 hour when I went into labour! I was fumming to say the least, shows how much doctors care, point being don’t always listen to what doctor’s say they arnt always right. Your little girl will grow up just fine and with all the help needed aslong as you support her and don’t make a difference as to how different she is to your other child, every child is unique and special in their own right all she needs is lots of love x

wow my son was born small, severe IUGR, he was 5 pound 1 and a half ounces. He was diagnosed as autistic at 2 or 3 years old, the kindy he went to picked up that his development was not like the other children and so that was the start of our journey…22 years almost later and he is trying his best to be like everyone else but also accepting himself the way he is, there is still a long journey ahead however autism/aspergers isn’t the end of the world or a death sentence, rejoice in your child’s differences and love them the way they are…some people would love to become parents but cannot, its nothing you’ve done or haven’t done either, these things just happen. You may if you have a look in both family lines see similar things in your relatives. Autism is largely genetic however sometimes the environment can come into play and certain viruses such as PANDAS can be mistaken for autism. always make sure to have ears, eyes, blood tested (iron, allergies, vit d, zinc e.t.c…) and early intervention also helps immensely especially as they reach school age. When she’s grown up you’ll look back in awe and wonder what you were worried about for years…Put all that worry and guilt aside and focus on loving and supporting your daughter. :sunflower: From a father of 2 autistic children, one girl and one boy, one also has comorbid adhd.

Hang in there you didnt fail and your baby didnt …you can still have a very good life as well as your babies. Who can say exactly why she is autistic? None of us really. we can just love and do our best… make sure you mom have support while you care for her. You need it as well

You did nothing wrong. Autism can be a challenge but with the right support for your child she will have a great life. Don’t beat yourself up. And at age 1 is a little premature to say autism. Most diagnostic methods don’t get applied until after age 2. So it may not be autism after all.

It’s genetic. It’s not something wrong.
There was nothing that could have been done differently.
Autism is genetic.
Passed from parent to child.
We’re not broken just unique.
It’s not a disease, there’s nothing wrong with it.
There’s no cure.

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