Unless you have absolute proof of what you’re saying then you shouldn’t say one thing or another. Facts are what she needs, not opinions.
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Please join the group Finding Coopers Voice. Its a great support and inspirational group for families raising kids with autism.
You did nothing wrong and your daughter will be just fine.
My eldest is 7 and was 8 weeks premature with global delay (autism) he didn’t sit up till 14 mo ths or walk till 2 or even talk at all till 3. Now 7 hea coming along nicely. Don’t stress they grow up and catch up at some point t
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You didn’t do anything wrong at all. The doctors didn’t do anything wrong at all. You can’t cause Autism, just like you can’t cause any other disorder or disease.
Vaccine injury possibly
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Autists are natural. Neurodiversity is natural. We need this diversity to evolve. People wanted everyone the same in this society, but that would be a curse. There are SO many inventions made by autists. It’s no failure. You did nothing wrong.
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a vaccine given? I now my daughters mother has a child with autism that they said was from a vaccine
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Nothing is your fault. Doctors are actually brainwashed. When people say genetic they make it sound unavoidable. But the truth is your genetics are greatly affected by the poison they feed us in our, food, water, medicine and vaccines. Look into autism detox. Vaccine detox. Glyphosate detox. Protect DNA with antioxidants, repair it with zinc, strengthen it with exercise, go organic. Best of luck 
I believe as a parent we will always blame ourselves in some way.
I also have a “perfect” first born.
My second was a rollercoaster from the moment I got pregnant.
While I was pregnant I had a amniocentesis done, and found out he had a chromosome duplication (I passed on to him without knowing I had it. it’s 50% chance of passing onto your children. My first born didn’t get it).
At 3 years old he was diagnosed high level autism and a global developmental delay. He’s now nearly 5 and I still question if it was because of the way I raised him, not being able to give him as much attention/time as my first born, which I’m always reassured isn’t the case.
Mama my 5yo was diagnosed with autism in august of this year there’s nothing you did💖 i knew my son was on the spectrum since 2 but they couldn’t diagnose him until 5.
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You did nothing, God said we need this little girl to have a mama that will worry enough about these things to care for her and teach her to navigate life with autism so that is how it happened. It was chosen for you
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Just asking the question proves you’re a good mom. Being a mom, naturally you want to do anything to protect your child and unfortunately we blame ourselves when life happens. My son was diagnosed with a sensory disorder and adhd …blamed myself and cried for months. My daughter was critical injured at school and blamed myself for years. It’s one of the downfalls to loving our children so much. You got this momma. Good luck 
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As someone with a chronic immune conditon, I have done 20 years of research to figure out the reason for my onset at 13 yo. The truth is, all you will ever have is a theory. You will always wonder. Always. The most you can do is look forward and seek every early intervention possible. Then seek comfort in that. God bless. You are in my prayers 
Please just accept your child as is
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My son is now 22 and is on the autism spectrum. He is an amazing young man. Quit putting yourself down. Some children just learn differently, and that’s okay. You are a great mom. You are her mom and she loves you regardless. Here’s my son cooking dinner on the grill.
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Autism is genetic, you did nothing wrong
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I have a child on the spectrum and my therapist has been trying her hardest to make me believe that there’s nothing I could have done different to prevent it, it’s just something that can get passed down through generations and there’s nothing that could have been done to prevent it
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So your daughter ISNT perfect because of Autism???
Sorry but thats a disgusting statement…they are BOTH perfect…and no you dont cause autism… its genetics
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Your little girl is perfect too - you did nothing wrong but what you do now matters most
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As a mom of an autistic 19 year old daughter, you did nothing wrong. If face, I feel you did everything right. You paid attention and didn’t deny the signs. You have her in therapy early which I feel will be the most helpful thing later down the road. Hold your head up momma. I use my daughter as an education tool. Any time I can speak and educate someone on autism, I do. In fact, I’m now a special education teacher because of my journey with her!!
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I have a daughter with down syndrome and when she was first born I thought the same things but guess what she teaches me everyday! Every child is a miracle and made in Gods image genetics be damned. She is exactly who she was meant to be God doesnt make mistakes and neither did you momma.
Autism is a genetic disorder. So a parent is a carrier of the gene does not mean you did anything wrong. My 13 year old is a high functioning child with level 1 autism. He has a lot of friends a wonderful social life. He does have issues with anger and hormones due to age. But In time and with coping skills he will do better. Don’t be hard on your self. Just love your child. That’s all they want. And need. Autism isn’t the end of the world. Just have to adapt for them.
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Your daughter is perfect in every way, as well!
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I would just say, do not compare your children. Not with yours or other peoples children. Every child is different even if they grow up the same. I have 5 boys and they are all very different in their own ways, but each one is perfect. 
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You did everything right. Autism is igenetic. It just happens sometimes.
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You lost me at your son was perfect in every way.
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You did nothing wrong!!! I can’t say this enough. Neither did I. My son is 23 with autism. Its still a shock I’m sure. Truth be told I know many many parents who have neurotypical children and have 1 with asd. Sometimes your chance increases but its definitely not always the case. And please do not refer to your NT child as perfect. What’s perfect anyway? My son is perfect to me. Hes 23, the sweetest man you’ll ever meet, still loves on his mom constantly, is always happy and smiling and I don’t worry at night about where he is. Our children are amazing, and you will be inspired by their journey. And I can guarantee they will teach you more than you’ll ever realize. My son is nothing but a blessing.
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They are both perfect in their own way…maybe that mindset is better then coming across as she’s not…1 out of my 5 is on Spectrum and hes amazing and just as special as his siblings are.
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I’m not sure if this pertains to her but autism is one of the severe side effects of vaccines. It used to be 1 in 10,000 children would get autism and now with this vaccination schedule for children it’s 1 in 35. They are giving children so many vaccines now. In just a few years it’s expected to be 1 in every 2.
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Autism is nothing you or the drs did or didn’t do. Just because your child has autism doesn’t mean they are less perfect than other kids. I have 2 boys (11&12) and my daughter is 3. She was diagnosed with autism right after her 3rd bday. With the help of a lot of therapy appts she is progressing amazingly. It just takes a lot of work from not only the child but the parent. There will be a lot of bad days but the good days will outweigh them. My daughter has been delayed and we pick up on it at about 6-9 months. She started speech at 18 months. Then after being diagnosed she started ABA at home and then goes to OT. So far we have managed to keep from having to medicate with her having bad ADHD. The OT helps with the sensory processing. Speech has helped her tremendously.
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Ok your autistic child is perfect too !!! And autism happens in the womb during brain development so her measuring small had nothing to do with her having autism
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I am not an Anti-vacc but I truly believe vaccines dint help these children. Your not at fault mom. Just keep loving the Unique Blessing God gave you.
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Some of you mamas need to chill. It’s perfectly normal to question and struggle with this diagnosis in the beginning. I’m 11 years in with a child with many needs, not just Autism and I still struggle to comprehend how and why this happened. Autism is debilitating, and HARD for many of our kids and parents. She never said she didn’t love or accept her child. Lord, y’all!
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Just because she has autism doesn’t make ur son the perfect one. They are both created in the image of God both deserve to be loved the same even if they learn or think different from one another! You lost me at my son is perfect
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Your daughter’s perfect too
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Having a small baby has nothing to do with autism. There is nothing you could do to cause or prevent it. Don’t blame yourself. The only thing you can do now is love your daughter. I personally feel like two is a little young to diagnose but I may be wrong. Either way accept your daughter and love her the same as your other child.
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I have two boys. My oldest has autism and severe adhd. My youngest has sensory processing disorder and ADHD.
Now in our case ADHD is 100% genetic. Both my husband and I have it. There was a 75+% chance of our kids having it (I was diagnosed after the youngest was born).
As for the autism. There’s significant genetic components. Like that’s typically the “top” reason for a person to have autism.
Now there are things believed to possibly cause it…hypoxia and hypoglycemia during utero or during the first days of life. Which makes sense. In both cases the brain doesn’t get enough oxygen…so the neurons form different pathways.
This was possibly/probably the case for my son. He was stuck during birth and went 40 minutes with little to no oxygen and actually had to be revived. Then the first couple days he had issues with hypoglycemia due to shock.
There wasn’t much we could have done to change it…except go back and opt for a elective C-section.
Here’s the thing:
I know autism is hard at times.
But sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise. My oldest is super good at math. He loves numbers. He’ll sit and do math homework for fun.
He’s super accepting of other people’s differences. He’s 8 and I’ve never once had to have a talk with him about not discriminating or anything of that nature. He doesn’t need those talks because he treats everyone as an equal.
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Theres nothing you can do to provoque this, as psrents we always tend to hit ourselves on the head even when its not our fault. Also, your children are not the same and its ok 
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You can’t prevent autism. You did nothing to cause autism. Just love your girl
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Nothing could have changed the outcome. Your daughter is perfect in every way. Autism isn’t a problem. She’s just as perfect. You need to stop looking at it as a problem to be fixed and realise that’s her and she’s going to be just as amazing as her siblings.
If you can’t accept your daughter the way she is and realise how perfect she is then you shouldn’t of had kids. All kids are different you get what you get.
And no vaccines, small baby or anything else do not cause it.
It’s not a issue. You just need to be a supportive parent
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Not your fault at all. I had uterine growth restriction after my first, for both my 2nd and 3rd child, which means they were measuring small and I had to have early as well. The doctor felt they would grow more being out of the womb. My kids don’t have autism but have developmental delays, you did nothing wrong.
You are obnoxious!!! Nothing is wrong with her, nobody did anything wrong at all. She was literally BORN THAT WAY. Parent who think this way disgust me.
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From a mom who has an autistic child, It’s appalling that you really said your son is perfect in all aspects and then there’s your daughter. Your daughter is just as perfect as your son. You really need to check yourself, get informed, and get into some therapy if you feel this way about your daughter compared to your son. Autism is not the problem and can’t be predicted; however, you acting this way is the major problem.
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The baby’s size has nothing to do with autism. My nephew JUST got diagnosed and he’s 3. So the way you’re wording it is coming out wrong. And don’t put your ‘perfect’ son on a pedestal over your daughter. If you need to describe him you could simply say neurotypical.
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You have perfect babies. In the womb they can’t test for autism. I have 2 “perfect” boys I have a 3rd with Down Syndrome. I didn’t do anything wrong and neither did you. I completely understand when you say you have a perfect son, you don’t mean she is less just different. Autism isn’t scary just different. Some of you moms need to chill out.
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You did nothing wrong. There’s nothing “wrong”. Your daughter is a gift. Research, learn, and be her advocate.
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The babies size has nothing to do with autism. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it. I was a small baby and so was my little sister. Both my babies are preemies. My youngest was born at 33+5 and they said she was smaller than she should be have been for her gestational age. My placenta had been taking from her and her was an IUGR baby. Some babies are just small babies. But it did bother me the comparison between your son and daugter….
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You know some of the smartest people were born with autism, dont treat it like a disability, your baby just looks, see and thinks of the worl different than people. Laura clery(she’s a Facebook star) she just had her oldest diagnosed with Austim. Might be worth checking out. But there’s nothing you could of done as a mother to prevent any of this, it happens, stressing out about is not gonna help your daughter. I would go talk to maybe a doctor or a specialist to learn more about it and I would do research about it. Don’t treat it like a disease tho, treat it like a blessing.
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My son is autistic. Almost all autistic children develop on a typical curve in that first year then begin regression around 18 months to two years old. It is genetic, ot something that you can cause. Extensive research has gone into this globally and all the legitimate work has found no correlation between vaccines and autism. No environmental factors stood out as significant either. Do not listen to all these people trying to give bad advice on a topic they do not know about and listen to autistic people on how to manage your child’s needs. Autism is a form of neurodiversity it is not an illness to be cured. Avoid the Autism Speaks as they are not truly autistic supporting. Many autistic people consider them a hate group. Instead look for groups and networks that include autistic people on their boards and in their operations. Here’s one below:
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My sister has autism. It took us 13 years before they would diagnose her (I live in the US in a state where things aren’t exactly “current” regarding views on gender and race) and nothing my mom or any of us could have done would have changed the fact that she has autism. You don’t develop autism from outside influence, autism is something you are born with. The best thing for you to do as a parent is support her in every way you can, work with her every day, get her into as many therapies as you need, have patience, and last but most importantly, be easy on yourself. You are going to have hard days, and that’s okay, just remember you are a mama not a super robot doctor. I hope you and your kids have an amazing life! Don’t worry about the how or why for your daughter, focus on the present and just help her however you can 
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Dam all of you bitchy bullies need to chill out.
It’s frign ok to want to know how something has happened.
I know you’re worried and I know you didn’t mean anything negative by saying your son is perfect. I know you meant he’s developing on track etc. My oldest is autistic and I was worried too at first. But soon you’ll adjust. Soon you’ll begin to realize that an autism diagnosis isn’t the end all for your daughter. Be her advocate because she will need you to be. Do some research, get educated on the subject. It’s not something you can prevent. It’s not something you can change. But it is a beautiful journey. A hard one but a beautiful one. I had three other children after my son and they are all neurotypical and developing on track. All of my kids are happy and healthy and that’s what matters most. Hugs momma. I know it scary but it’s going to be okay.
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Hi momma, my oldest is autistic. It is actually normal for a babe to regress a little, that was our first sign of autism with our boy. There’s absolutely nothing you could’ve done to prevent this and it sounds like you’re doing everything right. All you can do is support your sweet babe in any way they need.
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peoples opinions on this post!!! Oiy!!!
just remember to be gentle with yourself! Everyday is a learning process and no two days will be the same! Your child will grow and change sometimes it will be amazing and sometimes it will be challenging. they will always have you to look to for comfort and unconditional love.
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Exact same thing happened to me it’s called IUGR my baby is happy and healthy. My niece who had a wonderful pregnancy is autistic NO, it couldn’t be avoided…
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Autism is a neurological difference that occurs very early in pregnancy. Please do your research. Once you have an autistic child you have a 1 in 5 chance of subsequent siblings being autistic.
I have a friend who’s daughter was smaller like yours it’s called IUGR and she is not autistic.
Both IUGR and autism just happen and they can’t really determine why.
My son is autistic and he is one of the most perfect kids ever. People with autism just think differently than others. That is all. Just like those with adhd. Don’t beat yourself up momma, nothing you did could have prevented it and nothing you did caused it.
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Damn girl your daughter is as perfect as your son. That was a lie blow to her as a baby. seriously. Also you need to do your research in autism. You might piss a lot if mom’s off .
As a mother of a daughter with autism you did nothing wrong. Autism is a regressive disorder. Sometimes children with autism progress normally and then regress and lose skills they had before or began to gain new ones slower. It bothers me that you refer to your son as perfect. Your son is neurotypical. Your daughter is not. Perfect is such a terrible term to use. Nobody and nothing in this world is perfect. There is a reason the term different not less is used often in reference to autistic people. Your daughter is different, not less than your son. You did nothing “wrong” and there is nothing “wrong” with her. Just something different about her.
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Can I just say the fact you see your son a perfect and your daughter as not rubs me the wrong way. But anyways. Some babies go into failure to thrive and it’s nothing we as moms do it’s out of your control.
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My sons autistic and he’s perfect in his own way. Society needs to learn that not everyone’s “norm” is normal. I love my son. Look up Laura Clery. Watch her video on autistic kids (her son) you’ll love it
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There’s nothing wrong with your child. Quite a lot of parents notice around 1 year old if their child has autism x
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They are wanting to test my second for any form of autism. But that doesn’t mean I put my other children onto a pedestal for being what society might view as “normal”. In fact, she is 3 years old, and she has been counting and saying her alphabet since a year and a half. My “normal” 5 year is still learning. My 3 year old is also doing my 5 years olds kindergarten homework perfectly, way better than my 5 year old. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that baby.
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For all the morons who are saying vaccines cause autism, autism is a chromosomal disorder. Plenty of people haven’t been vaccinated, and they have autism. Stop being uneducated, and actually research.
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I have 2 IUGR babies. My 5th measured 36w born at 39w. Shes 4 and no development issues. My 7th is IUGR. I don’t think there’s anything going on there either but she’s only 15 months. I don’t think the size of baby determines whether or not they will be autistic. And there’s nothing wrong with your autistic child and nothing you could have done different. I know how it goes though. My 6th was stillborn and even 3 years later I blame myself. Wishing I would have seen another doctor or went to a different facility.
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There is nothing wrong. It’s crazy bc I was told the same thing the doctor kept wanting me to have my second child early bc he was too small as well. He came out bigger then the first! We waited bc the stress ultrasound was fine.
My grandaughter too was diagnosed at 3 with epilepsy and autism she’s in 3rd grade now and a very talented artist…she’s in speech therapy and is excelling with her class…don’t beat yourself up mom…
just be there for her and love her
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That is part of autism, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with your beautiful daughter. She will see the world in a way you couldn’t imagine. But there is nothing wrong with her.
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Nothing causes autism. It is just how some kids are born. And it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with her. It’s just that she’ll view the world in a different manner is all. Autism is just a diagnosis. It’s not who your child is. We all have to learn right alongside our children. And you will be seeing things differently with her. And that’s okay momma.
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There’s this 1 girl on YouTube but saw her video on fb. She has autism but u cant tell by looking at her or even when listening to her talk. She seems very bright to me and her videos bring insight to that of girls wit autism as alot of ppl kept asking me if my daughter was autistic(no she’s not fyi she just didnt want to talk to ppl) now she’s a love bug and talks to every1. But back to the girl I think u shld really watch her she cld give u some really good insight that may help you and ur baby girl out. Every child is different even on the spectrum. She’s still perfect. Putting ur son on a pedal stool and comparing isn’t cool and its gonna get u alot of hate and backlash for wording it that way.
My daughter is on the Spectrum…it’s genetic or it just happens. Nothing you did wrong.
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Autism is not something you caused it’s a genetic mutation that just happens sometimes. Ot could happen to literally anyone
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So you measuring small doesn’t cause autism. I have 3 children all of which I measured small with.
Autism is something in your genes that is just there. Nothing you do or don’t do causes it.
Things happen. Period. We can search the world far and wide and never find the reason. Autism is nothing compared to other diseases that kids have. Embrace her and love her and stop wondering why. My son has something far worse and I’ve searched this world far and wide for a reason. I’ve gone through memories of my entire pregnancy and every part of his life. Love that baby girl and stop wondering. Just put all your effort towards her and making her happy, cause at the end of the day that’s all you have. You have a daughter with autism. No big deal. She’s no different than your other children so embrace it. That was my best piece of advice. I too still search for answers. I’ve called and emailed every doctor in the WORLD that deals with children with my sons condition. I’ve called and emailed pharmaceutical companies and the food and drug administration. I’m a crazy mom that will never stop BUT I wish I could do what I told you to do because that’s the best thing for us both to do.
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First, NOTHING CAUSES AUTISM ESPECIALLY NOT VACCINES! Autism happens during fetal development. It’s a diagnosis of how the brain works/developed and had nothing to do with anything you did.
Second, saying your son is perfect and complaining about your daughter is disturbing. That’s a horrible way to view your children.
Third, get some counseling for yourself.
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Hun, you didn’t do anything wrong at all. There is nothing wrong with your baby girl.
Her brain is just wired a little differently then the next person’s. Just as we all are. No two brain’s are wired the same, everyone is unique in its own way. She is going to grow up and be a wonderful woman.
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If you think your “normal” child is perfect and your autistic child is defective, please do not have another child. If you have 1, you have a higher chance of having a 2nd. If you have 2 that are autistic, you have a higher chance of having a 3rd. I have 3 autistic children. It’s not anything anyone did wrong. It’s how they are made. (*btw autistic
Kids are super smart, my son is in all AP classes with all As… autism is part of their personality, not who they are) Be grateful you found out at a year, early intervention does amazing things for autistic kids. And please start realizing your daughter is perfect the way she is too.
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Could be your age and your husband’s age…i would think about having another at this age…DNA starts to break down and pregnantcies become high risk after 35…even in males, the reprodu turn of supermarket can still have genetic defects after certain age…
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Please get yourself some counseling. You need it.
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There is no such thing as a perfect child. All children are who they are supposed to be. I have 2 children on the spectrum. And did you say she’s just 2? Usually that’s the earliest age they can even be diagnosed with autism. So you haven’t given her a chance before you start judging her actions? Also, autism had nothing to do with her size it’s a communication and learning disorder not a physical characteristic. Either this is a bullshit story made up for attention, the group just needed a post or you just need some therapy for yourself.
Both your babies are perfect.
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Push her so she can excel that is ill that matters
It is nothing that anybody did, just a genetic crap-shoot.
You did nothing wrong during your pregnancy or once she was here. It is common for children with autism to seem like every other child until around the time you started noticing changes in your daughter. It’s just when it begins to manifest itself. Hugs, Mama, your daughter may be different, but she’s just as perfect as your son. Now, it’s time for you to learn how to be the mommy she needs you to be. I highly recommend you find groups led by people with autism to speak to. They can help you find resources and answer your questions. For instance, people with autism do not support the organization Autism Speaks and believe ABA Therapy is abusive. Go talk to them and listen closely to what they have to say.
Young one - first it is not anyone’s fault. period! Her behavior changed because she thinks different- Autism is tough on everyone involved BUT more on your lil’ girl. You are doing everything now that’s all that matters. Don’t second guess yourself- you are handling it now. Please address her educational setting when she’s is old enough. Young one she is a blessing. You are going to see the world in a new completely different way.
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You didn’t do anything wrong 
my daughter is 2.5 and is showing flags for autism but hasn’t been diagnosed yet. She’s behind in her speech as well. We have enrolled her into our counties infant and toddler program which is helping her tremendously. It is specifically for children who are developmentally behind or behind in their learning other ways. There is nothing wrong with children who have autism or any other “disability”
Autism isn’t caused by anything medically done or not done… she was born with it. Sounds like maybe some education on your part would help. Your post kinda reads well I had this perfect child and then a few years later my no perfect child.
I would take some time to accept your child’s diagnosis bc this doesn’t define who they are…will there be challenges, yes… is there challenges with every child, yes… get to know your child and all that she is. Make sure you have the correct support and therapies to help her and you as the parents.
Having autism isn’t necessarily a bad thing… I love my quirky child and how he sees the world its refreshing!
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I’m sorry this rubbed me wrong. None of my kids are "perfect. I’m not perfect. I have 5 kids. I love them all equally. For every bit of them not being “perfect”. I love every flaw, quirk, uniqueness they each have. Out of my 5, 2 of them have Autism. They are extremely smart, funny as hell I may add and have their quirkiness. No one would ever know any different from their siblings unless I tell someone. I have open discussions with my kids so they know they have Autism. They also know it just adds to their uniqueness. Autism isn’t caused by someone. Look at it as a different ability and honestly, let me tell you this. My boys have taught me a lot about life, navigating a world through different eyes, beauty and not giving a damn what others think.
Please don’t view her autism as a defect or imperfection. There is nothing to fear/feel angry about. People with “normal pregnancies” can go on to have a child with autism so I really don’t think either you or a medicinal profession are at fault
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Your daughter is just as perfect as your son.
She just has autism. It’s not caused by anything the doctors or yourself did. It is just the way she is.
Find a support group and do some research.
You should join this group! So many parents that have delt with the same thing. Great group for reading. It helped me a lot when I found out my son had ASD to see and hear what others are going thru.
Your Daughter is perfect in every aspect as well!!
She is just going to learn different in life is all!
Lots of love , tenderness, patience, along with Early intervention with a care plan and family support to help prepare her for main stream life -is all she needs .
You cannot cause Autism, and it’s typical for the the regression to happen early toddler years . Her therapist should be educating you along with her, if they’re not , find a different center !
I am not saying I agree or not , But Some people say that science is really close to proving that some cases of autism are caused by one of the immunization boosters .
I don’t know if that’s true , but for now sounds like you’re doing great.
EDUCATE YOURSELF! BE HER BIGGEST ADVOCATE IN LIFE!
Well just so you know your daughter will pick up on your feelings so I would suggest getting some counseling ASAP.
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She could have been IUGR and their development mirrors autism. Take her to a developmental specalist.
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I had my daughter at 41 My only daughter and she is fine
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Is she vaccinated? Not all children tolerate vaccines the way that some do
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This post and your mindset is absolutely disgusting. The fact that you called your oldest child “absolutely perfect” while asking what you did wrong with your autistic child is absolutely mind blowing to me. I really really hope you change that disgusting mindset before your daughter is old enough to realize it.
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