Wow, your husband is asking you for help, and you dont want to, what is wrong with you?!? A marriage is about compromise and helping each other. He wants a job where he is not on the road most of his life and wants to spend more time with you and his children. Yet your complaining having to go to work or give up a fancy car. Give your head a shake. Get back in to school, get a job and help your husband.
1st) of all grow up, not being harsh but you do have alot of maturing to do, in 10 yrs this post will prolly be 100% cringe to think about
2nd of all, one sahm to another, it comes with sacrifices. And your entire post is about whatâs impacting you. Does it suck sometimes to not get what you want, absolutely but itâs truly not the end of the world to have to downgrade vehicles, it really reads like there are some major image standards he needs to keep up for you
Grow up! If at anytime down the road, you find yourselves divorced, what will you do then? Mom life is hard but for the sake of your kids you need to learn some skills, even if itâs just a grocery store job. Yes thereâs child support but TRUST me, it doesnât cover everything and itâs not guaranteed!
Youâre definitely being selfish!
I can understand you wanting to stay home with the kiddos, but a relationship is a team. One can almost not blame him for being upset about being the âbreadwinnerâ I know I have personally been there being the one to only work while seeing my significant other at the time not have to have a care in the world about working cause he knew no matter what I would work, for one being I had no choice. You could get your GED, I definitely would of looked into that especially if I was a stay at home mom and only had to work around that schedule. And if you are debating about whether you want to be with him or not I would definitely work on a GED and job so you are able to support yourself and the kiddos. I can almost bet if you got a job, you guys could probably work out.
Why donât you finish school? Get your GED. Look for part time work so thereâs not so much financial stress on your relationship. Set an example for your kids so they donât end up in the same situation years from now. When the kids are grown up and moved out how will you have your own income? Do you want to rely on your partner for the rest of your life?
The only thing consistent in life, is CHANGE.
Maybe, go to school online/at home, get your GED and see what happens. Open an in-home child care for a little while. If you live in the US, the government offers all kinds of incentives and grant programs that will help supplement your income. There is a huge need for in home child care now. Marriage is about give and take. If he became ill, you would have to step up. Itâs hard to make changes but families are constantly growing and changes happen at a moments notice. Support your guy and you both will grow stronger together. In time you will look back and see how you have both grown and how much you have accomplished together. These will be life lessons you pass down to your kids with pride.
Get your GED and get a job. Itâs his family too and kids are only little for so long.
Sell the camper, get cheaper vehicles, scale down your life style. He evidently also wants to spend time with his family. It is not fair to just use him as a paycheck. What if he got hurt or something and couldnât work? You need to learn to be self sufficient as well. There is no reason you guys canât work alternating shifts, so someone is always home with the kids. Give him that opportunity too
It makes me sad that your husband is being forced to do something that he is clearly miserable doing.
I think the fact that he has voiced his thoughts to you multiple times and you are not considering his feelings (although you want him to consider yours) and are not trying to help is worse. Youâre supposed to be a team
OTR is hard on the drivers. Instead of work from home jobs, why doesnt he try to transition to local or regional driving where he is home every night. There are tons of regional trucking jobs, especially right now.
You need to start working on your GED and finding some type of part time employment.
Look at cutting your expenses. Sell the camper, trade in the cars for less expensive ones. Learn to budget.
Sounds like your husband is getting burnt out and you arenât being very supportive.
Wow. Youre being selfish. I cant even imagine how youre making him feel.
Advice. Work on getting your GED all of that can be done online now mostly. Cause ur gonna be in big trouble later on depending on a man like that. Just work on yourselves u should want to help if itâs too much
Your feelings are yours and youâre allowed to have those but since youâre seeking honest advice Iâve got to agree with pretty much every one else and say that things change and life happens. Get your GED first, then try to get work. Trade in your car to make it easier, youâll still have a good car and thatâs what matters. Changes are scary especially when youâre going to start doing something you have never done before but you can do it! You going to have to learn independence and hopefully you can before you need to learn the hard way on your own
Wait what?! Your husband is asking for help and wants to be home more to see his family! Just bc you never worked before doesnât mean you canât. You should selfish. He takes care of you. A car is a car. What would you do if he left you for good with nothing or he passes away? You are going to have to step up. You are being unfair. You are making excuses so you donât have to work.
Itâs definitely not ok to not want to be a mom anymore. Itâs not the childrenâs fault. Being a mom is the most precious job you can have. As for the rest of the stuff listen to what others are trying to say. Marriage is a partnership. So you both need to sit down and figure things out. Good luck to you
Get your GED and get a job. Youâre being very selfish. Those are his kids too and it sounds like he is miserable and just want to be happy. You would think that his significant other would want to be happy but honestly it sounds like you just donât want to work.
I amâŠdisturbedâŠby your callous and flippant attitude towards your husband.
You do realize that heâs so miserable that heâs willing to give up things heâs worked YEARS for? Can you imagine how miserable, depressed, and anxious he has to be to get to that point?
And youâre more upset that youâre going to loose your fancy car and have to get a job than you are concerned about how bad things must be for him to get to this point.
That says way more about you than it does about himâŠand trust me that behavior and attitude of yours doesnât say good things about you whatsoever.
Look at what youâre teaching your children: people only matter if they can provide you with a lavish lifestyle.
What would you do if they decided they hate you because you left dad and you canât provide the lifestyle they were accustomed to? Would that hurt you? Without a doubtâŠbut thatâs literally what youâre teaching them.
My advice is not to ask of others what youâre not willing to do yourself. Period.
I think you need to do some serious self-reflection and maybe speak to a therapist.
So ⊠You donât have work experience and feel at a disadvantage but refuse to ever work. And your husband has basically just been income and not very involved in his family and now that he wants to be more involved youâre angry. Is that the jist of it? Because thatâs what it sounds like⊠And youâre willing to get rid of things/sacrifice for you to succeed alone but not for you both as a unit to succeed.
Grow up dude.
He isnât " good with the kids" or however you put it. Because heâs always gone and always at work.
The fact you think he is your bank and thatâs acceptable. Blows my mind. You 2 are a team. You should be giving too. Yah know to raise your kids TOGETHER. Instead of him beging your bank while you âraiseâ them. So he can work. Then turn into a pissed off princess when he wants to be a part of your guys life⊠instead of just a bank thatâs never around. Wow. I know exvatly how this goes cuz my husband left a job making 30 a hour that was right up the street. For a job he had to drove 45 min to and went down to 24 a hour. I picked up hours at my job so he could do this⊠cuz he MISSED HIS KIDS AND COULDNâT MENTALLY HANDLE WORKING 2ND SHIFT FOR A MIN LONGER. ( oh and if you you donât have a GED or anything⊠well alot of jobs will hire you without one, fast food shit like that⊠or maybe get your shit together and show your children how a real woman deals with problems. )
There is no way you love your husband. Or care about his happiness or your FAMILYS. Sorry but not sorry. Your using him. Beyond selfish.
No he didnâtâŠthings change. The situation doesnât work anymore and he shouldnât have to stay at a job that heâs not happy with so you can continue to stay home. He also has the right to spend time with his kids just as much as you. Pull up your big girl panties and get a job. Heâs been supporting everybody for years and has most likely burned himself out
You seem to express your wants and needs a lot but ignore his wants and needs. His feelings are just as valid as yours. There is nothing wrong with you getting a job or furthering your education to financially help your family. If you push to hard you may be single having to support you and your children by yourself. You are in a partnership which means you work together so everyones needs are met not just yours.
Maybe he is less patient with the kids because he works all the time and is in a job he hates. You should be more supportive and less selfish.
ok what did I read. Umm you need to become self sufficient! Get yourself an education! Scale down on the life style like your cars, camper, etc⊠LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS You want a life that you canât afford! Your husband is miserable and it is so obvious you donât care.You want a parent / caretaker not a marriage. Youâre going to need to learn real quick life is constantly changing and you need to take care of yourself and your children. Marriage is teamwork. Either pull your weight in this team or pull your own weight singleâ:woman_shrugging:t2:
You need to first get GED or diploma. Then some work expirence will benefit you. You will regret not having either later in life. Right now with the kids being so little working from home makes sense. It builds a work history but your paycheck doesnât go directly to a babysitter. Driving truck is hard. Maybe he canât take it any more & is realizing his kids are growing up without him. Iâd have a hard time giving up the money. But I wouldnât want to give up seeing my kids every day either.
Ok, so having been cheated on, I follow a lot of infidelity pages, posts, and blogs and here is what I am seeing in your situation: heâs behaving like a husband who is trying to set his wife up for the big disposal. 1) you get a job, he doesnât have to pay support 2) you sell your car, he pockets the money 3) YOU NEED TO WISE UP, put some sort of plan B in place and be alert. This is not a good situation and it has nothing to do with his âjob dissatisfactionââŠpay attention. What he is doing is following a script for exiting a marriage/relationship at the least cost to himself.
It sounds like you just wanna sit at home on your ass while he busts his ass and never gets to see his kids⊠I travel for work myself and have 3 kids. And I promise you heâs fucking miserable when he leaves and is away from his babies days at a time with just a phone call or FaceTime a couple times a day that the kids are screaming and crying wanting to see daddy half the phone calls anyway⊠and the fact that you said âI hope I donât sound like a spoiled bratâ says that even you know that youâre acting like a spoiled lazy brat⊠this whole post just screams âIâm lazy and want everything handed to meâ get up off your ass and get your G.E.D and get a job just like every other person in the damn world has to do
Get your high school diploma online. Excel high school online. Itâs like 80 dollars a month till you finish but worth it in the end. Definitely try and land a job at home. Something not stressful like making calls. That way in the end you know that YOU are the one taking care of bills and kids and donât have to rely on a man. I know the struggle. Mg husband is the only one working right now bc child care is so expensive
Being a trucker is hard and you miss out on so many things. My father in law is one and has had to take a weeks vacation just to go both of his sons weddings. He lost out on sleep just to meet my youngest son and that was after he was already a week old even though we live a block away. You honestly kinda sound selfish.
Just had to say this Iâm a drop out no GED but I always had good jobs I started working at age 15 and now 55. I have two kids never give up there are so many jobs out there. Get a job and help your SO out it take two people given in there relationship to make it work. Good luck and prayer for your family.
Sooo, is there anything you are good at? Umm besides whining? You know? Crafts or something. ALOT of moms have turned to making things at home to supplement some income. Making Tshirts, cups, keychains, all kinds of things. Try being a partner to your husband and not just another child.
What you require, you should also provide.
You are young and I take that into consideration before saying that you are a âspoiled bratâ because I would probably go there if you had more life experience but being a mom has literally been your whole adult life. Thatâs also true for your SO, therefore I give him the same benefit of the doubt.
Before addressing the relationship question (leaving or staying) I think you need to address your family lifestyle. You guys made the decision for you to be a sahm. Thatâs great and a lot of people donât get that choice so I am happy it was an option for you. But you need to start considering your FAMILY and what is best for your family. Yes, SO SHOULD HAVE discussed things with you. But it seems clear that the stress of driving and being away from his family was getting to him. Maybe he felt like he was missing out on the early years of his kidsâ lives and he realized he canât get that back. Maybe THAT is where his lack of patience is coming from. You have gotten used to a certain lifestyle and are reluctant to give that up. But you need to look at it from the perspective of your family as a unit. Your SO is missing out on his kids AND your kids are missing out on time with their dad.
Yes, he made (what you are calling) a âcommitmentâ to you staying home and having nice things (expensive car, camper) but really the commitment needs to be from EACH OF YOU to do what is best for your family. Family dynamics change- the last 2 years have made that crystal clear- and you need to change with them. Having your SO making the only sacrifice is only going to lead to resentment. You need to sit down and talk about what he needs and how to best achieve that AS A FAMILY. Personally I would say trade in the cars for less expensive ones. Sell the camper. Better yourselves education-wise (it will only help both of you) and maybe see if you could get away with a part time job.
Put yourself in SOâs shoes. How would you feel stuck doing a job that keeps you from your family? What is your commitment to him and to your family?
Iâm NOT saying this harshly or with any âmeanâ intent. You are so young and this has been your only experience as an adult. This is an opportunity for growth and it might feel like a sacrifice (and it is right now) but someday youâll may look back and see it as tremendous growth that helps shape the âyouâ you will become
What exactly do you think is going to happen when/if the two of you split up? You are not entitled to anything , your children are. If you split, youâll have to get a job to provide for yourself and your children, and thatâs just the reality of it.
I was a high school drop out and a stay at home mom for over 10 years when my husband wanted to quit his miserable back breaking job and go for something that would give him more time with the kids. Know what I did? Put my big girl panties on and found a way to bring in some extra money so he could do just that. Quit being a selfish child.
go get a part time job, and tell him you expect everything to be clean and done when you get homeâŠ. on your work days.
You do sound like a spoiled brat. You need to get your GED and find a job. Itâs not a guarantee you get to be a stay at home mom the rest of your life. Sounds harsh but youâre a mom now, put those kids first and do whatâs best for them. As for your husband, I donât blame him. Truck driving SUCKS and I bet heâs missed a LOT with his kids to provide for you. Your turn to step up and help.
If you split up, how are you going to support yourself? You need to grow up, get a job to help support your family, and you and your husband work together as a team! You brought your kids into this world so you donât get to just decide one day that you donât want to be a mother. Your kids need a mother and a father.
Iâm sorry did you you just say youâre not interested in being a mom anymore because your husband would like to change careers?âŠ. Grow the hell up
Do in home childcareâŠthat way you will bring in some income, be will be able to get a different job to where he an see and spend time with you and the kids
I think you should get your GED, almost all jobs require at minimum a high school diploma. Second, we did something similar, my husband has worked sales all his life. He is paid full commission so there is no guarantee, he has always made upward of 100k a yr. At the time our kids were little (3 of them) he came one day and said he was tired, he didnât want to do it and wanted to be more involved with the kids. I was pregnant at the time so getting a job really wasnât the best idea considering I had a 1 and 3 yr old at home. We went down to 1 car. Sold everything we didnât need. And he went to construction. We saved every penny we could but eventually he went back to sales because thatâs where the money is. We are now older both and we both went back to school now that all our kids are in school full time, to pursue something different . We downgraded our cars, the only we have not and will not give up is our house but everything else if we canât buy it cash we canât afford it. Life changes as you grow.
Ok, you need to stand in his shoes! He is a truck driver that is always gone trying to provide for his family. you donât think that he should want to be able to be home with his family.? Shit my hubby was in the oilfield and I prayed everyday he would find a local job. I also have always worked to have a two income household. You can find a job. It just sounds like your lazy! Also you understand that if you walk away from this relationship that is ultimately going to leave you to support yourself and your kids?? No one is going to do that for you!
Go to your local dhhr they will help with child care while you get your GED at 24 I had 3 kids worked 2 jobs and went to college you do what you have to when other depend on you such as children YOU DONT HAVE TO DEPEND ON A MAN WOMEN UP
My husband is a long haul truck driver and has been for most of are marriage so I get the money aspect of it I also got pregnant young at 16 and then again at 17 but I struggled through it and I got my diploma (you need to get your diploma) he is wanting so badly to come off the road so he can see the kids and grandkids more I would love to have him home all the time so we are both on the hunt for better jobs you need to do the same why should it all land on his shoulders you guys are in this marriage together therefore you need to work together
You sound like a spoiled brat get your GED and help your dude out trucking is hard as fuck my father actually fell off the back of his truck and fucked himself up so bad you should appreciate he wants to be around more I dont have my GED and am a drop out and have tons of factory experience you dont need it but it helps for sure help your dude out some hes tired its time for you to adult as well honey
Make a commitment to yourself to finish your diploma- in todayâs workforce I donât see many opportunities for you without it to be honest.
If someone is getting a cheaper car - it should be BOTH of you.
I was 19 years old when I had my first child. I went back to school and received my high school diploma on her first birthday. I then tried University but it wasnât my thing at the time with a young child. I made the decision then to wait until my child was in school full time until I furthered my education. Fast forward I had two more children. It was important for me to stay home and raise them and it was important to my Husband to not have to pay someone else for child care. I think some people on here arenât taking in consideration of the cost of child care for 2 - 3 children.
I am now 43 years old, my exhusband left 6 years ago to be with another woman. I was left with no income, a mortgage, bills and three children to care for. I was in school at the time but it was still a very hard situation to get through. I would suggest getting an education, work on your relationship but also make sure you are self sustainable. Nothing lasts forever, and education is one thing no one can ever take away from you.
When I was a âStay at home momâ, I did work at a daycare so I could bring my child. I also was a part time nanny, I also could bring my daughter. And finally I had a little private daycare at my home to help with bills.
I understand wanting to stay home and raise your children, there are ways you can make income while doing it.
Honey. He shouldnât have to do it all on his own and stick with a job he hates. Tell him you need to get you GED. Do it. And then start working at least part time. Itâs a team effort and sometimes you are going to have to put a little extra than him and vice versa.
Honey at the end of the day you got kids. You can definitely compromise on a cheaper vehicle if it works. You donât have your GED? Try your best to get it then. Maybe he did set the expectation for himself to be the âbreadwinnerâ but trust me if heâs looking for a change and still putting in the effort to make sure thereâs money in the bank, letting him be miserable isnât worth it.
So Iâm a mom to 3 boys all 6 and under. My husband has worked the majority of our relationship. There were times I stayed home with the kids. And times I worked while raising children. Things change. Plans change. The economy even changes. You canât expect him to uphold an âagreementâ like this when it sounds like he wants more time with his children. You need to grow up, get your ged, and then get a job. Stop expecting a man to do everything for you. Also, just out of curiosity, how do you intend on supporting yourself if you leave him? Or do you still expect him to fund your life if you are separated? Your coming off as very entitled to me. Your young, and it sounds like you have ALOT of growing up to do!
You sound very ungrateful and bratty honestly. If yâall separate then how do u think u will pay ur bills? U will have to work. If u getting a job and helping financially will help your husband be able to be home with u and ur kids more then u should want to do that
So he should miss out on the kids whole life for you to sit home and have a nice car and roof over your head?? Do your half always be sure you can take care of you and never depend on ANYONE
It sounds like he is unhappy with the job, wants a change and wants to spend more time with the kids and youâre not being supportive because it will mess up your lifeâŠ
Your life isnât the only one that matters in this situation, his does too. Everyone only gets ONE life, so why spend that life being unhappy?
If you guys are together and raising your children, then you should be a team and be supportive to each other.
There is obviously tension and resentment building in the relationship because it seems like youâre more worried about your car and not having to work then his well-being.
Iâve been a SAHM for almost 4 years now, with my SO being the sole provider. During that time, heâs made a huge career change because he was unhappy. Know what I did? I supported him! I knew things would be different and that we might even struggle, but that didnât matter because I wanted him to be happy!
You are saying how all this stress or whatever is on you having to find a job⊠imagine all the stress he must feel day in and day out being the sole provider for 5 people?
He is telling you he needs help, so step up and do whatever is necessary to support your family.
Pennfoster would be a really great option for you because itâs an online high school thats 50$ a month and you can do it as fast or as slow as you can and join this group The Work at Home Lounge (WAHJobQueen) hopefully this helps you in whatever decision you make regarding your SO
I was kind of in this situation so I get it. My husband quit his traveling job and took another job. It was stressful adjusting and we fought alot.
However, I took a opposite shift. He worked during the day and I worked at night so we didnât need childcare.
You NEED a GED. You canât get a good job without one and you canât support yourself without one. You need to be a team. Especially with 3 kids.
My goal is to get a decent job so my husband doesnât have to work so hard. I know itâs hard for you too with kids and childcare, but you should be using this time to figure out a career for yourself too.
Youâre a grown woman. Being a stay at home mom is great if you can afford it. If you canât, you need to work. Unfortunately, thatâs life for you.
You donât want to get a GED so you can be employable and would rather give up your kids to avoid having to work should you break up with this guy?
I put my husband through college with the idea Iâd be a stay at home mom. He graduated and reality set in. We knew that wouldnât be a sustainable life and heâd have to work two job for us to be comfortable, so I got a part time job. Itâs called teamwork. Your problem isnât your boyfriend, itâs your selfishness. If you work to fix that youâll all be a lot happier.
Get you GED. You should care about his feelings too. It probably took alot for him to bring it up, if he hates his job that much I would feel bad for him and want to help out too. You too should be a team, not just him paying everything. Wether he agreed in the beginning or not, things change and he is asking for a change. You can very easily get a minimum wage job anywhere and he can look for pay similar to what he makes now and it would even out.
Iâm sorry to hear about your problems , I had almost the same, I had two kids by the time I was 19, my husband wouldnt let me work. We lived hand to mouth for many years. His behaviour towards me and our children was cruel ,cohersive and violent. I stayed in the relationship despite his violence to me. I wish I hadnât. He looked down on me for being a homemaker, he would take credit for the things I did . I want be kind to you but as a woman nearing 70 I want you to listen. He really isnât holding his side of the agreement, he is controlling you, itâs all about what he wants, what he will allowâŠand what he can get away with. I wont tell you to leave, thatâs for you to determine but do you really love him, does your heart skip a beat when he comes in the door? If it doesnt, you will have answered your own question. People do have fulfilling genuinely loving relationships. Neither you or I do.
Get the diploma and make an effort too. He clearly wants to be able to be there for the kids and deserves that as much as the kids do. I completely understand your side but I can also see his side.
My husband is an OTR driver, and is wanting to find a local job himself to be home every day with our girls. Its a very stressful lifestyle out there. We just happen to be lucky that a fleet was created in his company and he was asked if he wanted to switch to the regional fleet which paid a little more and allows him to be home weekly for a 34 if he chooses.
Weâre about to have our third little girl soon, and he gets tired of missing so many things. Our oldest just started school and he wishes he could be around for all of her school events.
My husband is also not very patient or the best caretaker of our girls, but neither is he around enough to know what to do completely.
It wouldnât hurt for you to cut some things to be able to make room for other expenses so that he CAN be home with the kids. But both have to make cuts together. Both should trade in for cheaper vehicles. Be supportive of him and allow him to actually try. Truck drivers with families sacrifice so much already being away from their families. Be mindful of his feelings too, not just your own. You should certainly get your education in check so that you can successfully provide for yourself and children if something were to happen to your SO or yâall end the relationship.
Honestly, itâs not really fair to expect him to be miserable at his job and miss out on time with his kids just so you donât have to work. And because of a promise he made to you a few years ago before you had 2 kids, before COVID, before the economy changed. Get your GED. But honestly there are plenty of jobs out there right now where you donât need one. Retail and fast food are paying people quite a bit of money. If there is an Amazon warehouse near you, they pay well. Its not fair that you get to be happy at the cost of him being miserable. Thatâs just not fair. You need to compromise. Let him find something he can stand to do, and then work part time at least to make up for the difference in pay. I work so my man can have time at home with his family even though he offered to get a 2nd job so I could stay home. And you donât need a 35k car. You can buy several makes brand new for 20k or less. You really do sound ungrateful honestly. I think itâs time to grow up and help support your husband. And stop trying to leave him because of this. Thatâs so unfair.
1st offfff. Do not compare him wanting to quit a job heâs unhappy with, with you wanting to stop being a mom.
Wanting a different job because your unhappy and expecting youâre significant other to have your back is perfectly okay.
Wanting to stop being a mother/father because youâre unhappy is not okay.
Thatâs all Iâm gunna comment on.
Because the rest does sound like youâre being a âspoiled bratâ as you said.
Get your Diploma and keep going with your education as far as you can. ( you can do it from home while still taking care of children.) Get a job. and then make the decisions you need to from a far better position for you and your family.
Him wanting to change careers isnât comparable to the comment you made about deciding not to be a mom anymore. Is it fair to pressure him so much to fully support you and the kids? People change their minds so what would you do if he decided just not to be with you anymore? Iâm a sahm and my husband is a truck driver but if something happens Iâd just go back to work. The problem here is it seems heâs just telling you what to do to make it so he doesnât have to drive a truck anymore. Yâall need to make these decisions together and with so many littles at home you getting a job may not make any sense financially after factoring daycare cost. Also sounds like you both could cut expenses and him making less money wouldnât be so detrimental or force you back to work.
Oh. Relationships and their priorites and the element of team work is always changing, friend. I say this out of loveâŠbut that sounds like something a early 20s me would have saidâŠand now sitting at 40⊠I realize that you have to both work together as a team.
As a wife to a former OTR driver I will say itâs hard on them. Physically & mentally. My husband did it for 2yrs. It was great money BUT he missed being home at night with me & our girls. WE discussed his options. Just like I would if my job would change. Heâs still trucking, but heâs home daily & weekends off. Maybe he needs to look into local only. Now as for you, I agree you need your GED because most places require it at the minimal. You do need a job so you can depend ON YOU for your children. Not ANYONE else. Good luck hunâŠyou can do it
Get your GED. You are unlikely to find a job without it. GED first, then a job and then go from there. Give it a little time and if you arenât happy in the relationship still then at least youâll be able to support you and the kids when you have a job
There are plenty jobs that will still hire you even without a GED but Iâd say get a decent paying job & try to find somewhere to get your GED some colleges offer them for free depending where you live & just try to focus on that & keeping afloat will be hard but not impossible also you should stop waiting for your so to get the shit done CS it seems like he doesnât have a clue & thatâs drowning you
Priority #1 - get your GED. Trade-in your car for one with no payments. If there is a para aid work with early preschool you could work with your children.
He could look for a local job like UPS.
Regardless of what you all decide to do get your GED. Do it for yourself.
I have 2 kids and we both work⊠Your husband, in every way, sounds like a good ass man and you should feel lucky to have someone who is willing to go above and beyond for you, because itâs not owed to you, any of what he does for you. You should WANT to help your man. If my husband ever came home and expressed to me that heâs miserable where he is and he misses his family and kids, Iâd start planning a budget immediately to help cover costs so he can get out of there and work somewhere else. You sound like a spoiled brat at the very least, & I feel sorry for your husband. The fact that youâre willing to leave him because youâd rather not have to work & actually become bitter toward him at the idea that you might have to help support your own family is sad. This whole post sounds like "I know my husband is miserable and sad, but ME. ME ME ME ME ME. MY CAR. MY STAYING HOME. NO WORK FOR ME. ME. ME. ME. " If he left you for good, what would you do?. In this day and age, you need to be able to help support your family. Get a grip, woman.
Look at the insane amount of pressure you are putting on your husband to be the âbreadwinnerâ sorry honey, itâs not 1955 anymore and thereâs no reason for you to not have your GED or get a job. There are so many places that have work from home jobs that would allow you to help bring in income and allow your husband to spend time with his kids. You have a man that wants to be home more. He doesnât want to be a truck driver. Heâs tried a few things to work closer to home and here you are throwing a fit about having to work to help support your family. If you have to turn a car in that you canât afford and get something more affordable, then you should, if you donât want to give up your car and get something a little more affordable then get a job and make up the difference. You are currently making excuses right now to not get a job and I if you decide to leave your husband, you have no way of providing for your family at all, you havenât even tried to provide for them. You need to pull your big girl pants up, get your GED, get a job and start contributing to your family financially.
Youâre all about the money and being taken care of⊠u need to grow up. Get a ged and help ur family. Wtf. Yes u sound like a brat and someone who wants it all handed to them without lifting a finger. Ur going to be in for a rude awakening if ur man leaves uâŠ
Go back to school and get your ged. Kids wonât be kids forever and you need a way to be able to support yourself and your children.
Honestly him wanting to leave his job isnât the same as you deciding you donât wanna be a mom. Things change. That kind of job is hard & super exhausting. Itâs not fair for you to always expect him to be the breadwinner. Itâs not his fault you didnât get at least a high school diploma. Get at least a GED & help out. Youâre putting so much pressure on him. & youâre saying youâre fragile. What about him ? Have you even considered what he feels & thinks ?
I think youâre being unreasonable & selfish. Thereâs a lot of great advice already here in the previous comments. Iâd take them seriously.
in this economy it is nearly impossible to live on just one income. I have two jobs and my boyfriend is also employed and thats what it takes to pay the bills and we donât even have kids or fancy new cars. Your partner isnât breaking a commitment heâs struggling and you donât want to apply yourself to help him. Youâre expecting him to stay in a work field that makes him miserable, he wants to be with your kids more you think thatâs a bad idea (which is aweful and selfish) Just get your GED online its super easy I helper my ex do it. After a basic diploma your job opportunities open up a lot. I feel bad for this man heâs done nothing but provide, he wants to be home more bc he misses you guys and youâre stomping your feet like a toddler. Iâm sorry for your loss but that doesnât change the last 4years heâs taken care of you.
You canât always depend on him to support the whole family. Get things in order to get stuff done. Get your GED, then a job.
What if he were to leave how would you survive?
Get a job and support your husband in his decisions to do better for himself. Heâs obviously miserable, and you would rather separate and put your kids through that than work?? You made babies, you gotta help feed them. If heâs coming to you telling you heâs miserable and all you have to do to help is work, then why the fuss?
Ummmm what, I get being you want him to be the bread winner. But, how you upset with him and you donât even got yourself in order. Girl a relationship is give or take, covid been hard on everyone these last two/three years. Get your ged, because just like you saying what if you donât want to be a mom anymore. What if he thinks that? With him being the bread winner, where is your income gonna come from? You are putting pressure on your husband when heâs still trying be there for you and yâall kids. Help him out too, and who in their right minds donât want the dad home to help with the kids, but stay even though they donât trust him with his own kids? Iâm not tryna sound mean, but common now.
Please look up the Dave Ramsey money planâŠor even call his radio showâŠso much good information on money, life etc!
Just get your GED and get a job. I think he sounds weighed down and stressed out by ALL of the financial responsibility and wants you to contribute which is 100% okay. You are a team.
I think you are being unreasonable, truck driving is hard and exhausting, and he should be allowed to switch fields if he wants to, having him be the only bread winner isnât fair for you to put that all on him,
He isnât trying to quit being a dad, he wants help making $$$ for yalls family together
Get your diploma and go to a trade school or collage to learn a skill where you can help support your familyâŠits 2021 not the 60âs âŠ
Okay so I know how is it about not having any experience, no diploma, and no degree. I was able to get a job at Victoria Secret just for 4 hours a day while my daughter was in preschool. It may not be much but at least itâs something. I was in your position before and I fully understand where you are coming from.
Study for your GED while the kids nap or after you put them to bed, even if it means a very little at a time. Maybe you could join an online study group. See what adult education resources are available where you live, like online or evening in-person refresher classes. A GED is a minimum requirement these days and you absolutely need to get it no matter how daunting it seems or how long it takes you.
Get a part time job evenings at a fast food restaurant or grocery store or making phone calls, answering phones, doing COVID contact tracing or data entry. Even a few hours pay is helpful and will give you something to put on a resume. Do you handle the household bills? Could you do bookkeeping for a small business? Do you have a special talent that you could teach classes? Baking, knitting, sewing, organization? Make plans to ease into some paid employment over time so it doesnât seem so overwhelming all at once.
Can you sell the camper? Get a cheaper car/cars. Itâs not that big a deal in the scheme of things. You can drive a used Toyota and it will get you places as well as a Lexus. What kind of car could you afford on your own? Probably a bus pass.
Reduce your stress. Can you get friends, family, or an Early Childhood Education college student (you will need to pay him or her) to help you out a few hours a week? Can you plan something fun for you once a week? Maybe a walk in the park by yourself to clear your head, a hot bath without the kids, a fun art class or a girls night out, a movie, bowling, restaurant meal or climbing gym with a girlfriend. And look at family fun now that hubs will have some time off. Free local programs, like outdoor movies, parades, town clean-ups, hikes/walks (take the stroller), concerts, demonstrations, etc.
Also look at gym memberships with child care. It will get you in better shape, relieve stress, introduce you to other moms who could help you out, and give you a break from the kiddos. Usually family memberships are less than individual ones and this is something fun you can do with your hubby too. Yoga or stretching or Tai Chi classes can be relaxing, or take one in kickboxing or Zumba if you need to get out any negative energy. Iâd hit the gym after the kids were in bed. Or join a Rec Center where you can take swim classes with the kids or work out while theyâre in a tumbling class. Either choice costs money but will likely keep you healthier, saving on medical bills. Get your vaccine and wear masks to avoid dying of COVID too.
At this point you are totally dependent on your husband and you need to think about your future, where you will need to work. What would you do if he were disabled, or heaven forbid, died? What would he do if either happened to you? Have hard conversations now to be prepared for any eventuality.
What kind of work would you like to do? With online college courses you have the opportunity to better your education at your own pace and some donât require entrance exams or great grades. Remember education is always useful and knowledge is something no one can ever take from you. It will help you make better decisions and be a better wife and mom too. Read booksâany booksâif only a few pages every day. It will keep your brain sharp, spark creativity, enhance your knowledge.
Your husband is being reasonable. How would you like to work all the time away from home and rarely see your spouse and children? Also he has SO much pressure on him to be the sole wage earner. And if you all ever split, you would have to work all the time and pay for health insurance anyway. Have some compassion for him and put yourself in his place.
If he gets a less stressful and demanding job he will have a better relationship with you and the children and be able to give you a break taking care of them, even if itâs not up to your standards. Give him time, heâs not had much practice!
If you have health insurance, get some mental health counseling. It will help you see things more clearly, have you look at more possibilities, and help you cope with the stress you are under. Three small kids all at once is a LOT to handle!
Also look ahead to when they are in school, and how that will change your options. Be sure you use reliable birth control or if you both are happy with the family you have ask if he would get a vasectomy. Kids are expensive! Do you want them to go to college? Open a 529 plan nowâgood for any type of post-high school education, or start to prepay in-state tuition at a local college/university.
What were your hopes and dreams other than being a wife and mother when you were little? What are they now? See if you can capture some of that as you plan for your future. And Iâm sorry, Princess is not really a viable option.
Read some parenting books and watch Supernanny shows with your husband to learn better parenting techniques and childcare hacks to make your lives easier both now and down the road. Hereâs a tip: instead of saying no, say stop. Itâs harder for kids to say and may lessen the NO NO NO NO phase kids go through. Use positive vs negative reinforcement techniques as much as possible.
Keep a gratitude/blessings journal. Write down all the things you are grateful for and the good things that happened to you every day. Add at least one thing every day and read the list first thing in the morning and at night. You can also keep a list of things you love about yourself, your kids and your husband. It will remind you to love yourself and them. It will change your outlook and the way you think about your life. They say if you have even one pair of shoes you are better off than 75% of the worldâs people. Indoor plumbing? Enough to eat? Your kids are healthy? Free schooling? How fortunate you are!
Life is tough for everyone, but you are tougher. The more you do to better yourself, the less fragile and more confident and powerful you become. Youâll be a better role model, and might even find yourself becoming closer to your husband and enjoying the learning process! Good luck. Weâre all rooting for you!
You need to grow up and start doing things to help your kids in the future.
Like I feel bad for your childrenâs dad.
Pressure on you? He have all the pressure by taking care of everyone in the house. Having children are not cheap and I donât condone you for that. But if you donât have your things together, how can you help your husband maintain a home? Never stop growing because a man told you he gonna take care of his home. Everything was good until yâall start having babies and it wasnât fun anymore. Go online and get your GED, then apply for day care assistance and find a job at McDonaldâs. We are in 2022 and we are not living on our grandparents era, everything getting expensive.
my husband worked on the road for the first 8 yrs of our sons lifeâŠone day he said Iâm missing everything important to meâŠtook a job making about 30 grand less and I sold camper, boat, Toyota 4 runner in a week to prepare for thatâŠwe did it and made itâŠwe both did what we had to doâŠput your best foot forward or call it a dayâŠgood luck
No itâs not okay to just âdecide you donât want to be a mom anymoreâ wtf is wrong with you? YOU made the commitment to have kids, you need to stick with it. You should be ashamed those words came out of your mouth. Go get your GED and get a damn job, itâs not that hard. Leave the husband and build a life for you and your kids jfc
I know things are different now but you could find work in retail and get a GED at the same time even with kids
Youâre being unreasonable. Things change. People change. He came to you and told you he is unhappy with his job and does not want to do it anymore. And in this whole post not once did you show you even cared about what he wants or even whatâs best for your kids. Itâs all about you. My suggestion is to start studying and take your GED. You wonât find a place that will hire you without that or a high school diploma. Heâs asking you to step up and start helping your family because he canât do it by himself anymore. So you need to better yourself to better your family.
I think you are being very insensitive to his feelings and acting a bit spoiled, my husband would work over 90 hrs a week every single week, he was so tired, had burns everywhere from welding, and one day asked if he could have a break! I could see that he 100 percent needed it, so for the last 3 years heâs been a stay home dad, he still contributes by video game streaming, fixing cars or doing tattoos, but the majority role is on me, he will be going back to work in the next couple of months! You are a team and are supossed to pick up eachothers slack when the other one needs it, I bet he feels like you are 100 percent against you
Get your GED and get a job.
Living in a fantasy world maybe you should separate from him so you can live in the real world because the world is hard asf and you have it easy girl, your supposed to grow together in a relationship and partnership and you have to be a partner not just a parent if you actually want your relationship
Compromises need to be made in any relationship. Yâall are suppose to be a team. You could take GED classes while he continues to work at the same job. Once you get it maybe talk to each other about what the next step should be. Trade in both vehicles and get cheaper ones. I donât understand why everyone thinks they should have expensive things in life. In reality it just makes it harder. My husband and I left that kind of life behind for more of a simple life. No mortgage or car payments.
I personally would never allow myself to be so dependent on someone else. You never know what the future holds and how things are going to play out.
I feel sorry for him, he is clearly struggling and you seem like hard work . Separate and make room for someone who wants to be his team mate.
You canât expect to be spoon fed your whole life.
Things change. Times change. My assumption based on your kids ages is that you are in your early 20âs. Get your GED and get a job. Help your husband. Iâm currently a full time teacher and coach working over 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. I am also a college nursing student. I also have a 4 year old daughter and one on the way. Im saying this because it is possible to juggle things. In the end it will be better for all of you. Buckle down and just do it.
Itâs not too late to go get your ged. Many homes need 2 people working to survive. If he doesnât want to truck drive anymore then you should support that. If you canât get a trade somehow then you wonât get a job. Basically the minimum is GED or HS diploma. You can take your classes and usually itâs just a few tests to try and test out of. You may not even need the class, just try the tests. Iâm sure itâs easier now being older and knowing more information. I do feel bad for your husband and thatâs being nice. Tbh Iâve seen some rude comments on similar posts and they seem to only post things that stir up drama. Your husband wants to change his career path. What is your plan b? Leave him and have another man support you? This isnât the way to go girl⊠you make your own money however you need to do. My friend worked retail and lied on her resume saying she did, but entry level is the best youâll get. To explain any gaps in unemployment you explain being a stay at home mom. I stayed home to be with my daughter and my fiancĂ©e did it too at different times. We made it work but we did it together. Itâs not breaking a commitment. Did he say âI will always be a truck driverâ or what because people change and they get older and damn sitting in a truck for hours and days at a time is miserable. A lot of people are lonely on the road. My suggestion is if he has any trade skills under his belt then maybe try opening your own business. You could do cleaning or anything like that.
Yes, you can get your GED,& a job. Your going to have to support you & your children!
Marriage is a partnership. Your husband is asking for your help, help him