My girl has her dad’s last name I always hated mine growing up got picked on Big time and changed it to my hubby’s soon as I got married
My brother and I have my mother’s maiden last name. Neither of our father’s were around so we got her name. I dont get along with or really have contact with my bio dad so I’m happy to have my moms last name. My daughter has my husband’s last name, I just haven’t changed my last name to his legally yet because we moved out of the country right after getting married lol.
First, it takes 2 to tango. Very similar situation, with being absent and all the fancy stuff. I ended giving our child a hyphenated last name. My last name then his. Yes he was upset, but your the one doing all the work.
No my 2 boys have my last name which now im so glad because we are no longer together and they have both been dead beats in the end.
But the best part is the 3 of us all have the same last name and my boys always tell me how happy the are to be Dales. Love it
2 Likes
Nope they both have my last name I did it because I wanted to carry on my family name
1 Like
It doesn’t sound like he deserves it, you will always have your child and you have to do what is right for you both
My boys have my last name… I’m going to change it when I get married if they so wish xxx
1 Like
If he doesn’t put a ring on it then no… I feel if he doesn’t give you his last name then that’s your choice whether or not to give your children his.
There was a time if you gave birth and you were unmarried at the time the baby was given the mothers last name. My daughter was given my last name. If you married the baby’s father and waited 6 months you could have the birth certificate changed to the fathers last name. This is what I did.
I gave my son his father’s last name. He demanded that I had no right to do so. The reason I did was because my son had the right to carry his father’s name. It is his identity based on tradition. And when we made it into a courtroom ten years later, the judge accepted, without a paternity test that my son was his father’s child. The father said, “You don’t even know if the kid’s mine.” And the judge yelled at him, “We know that the child is yours but if you need proof, you can pay for a paternity test. Do you want a paternity test?” And the father said no because he knew.
1 Like
I did not give our child his last name… nothing against him at all… I just wanted my child to have my last name… and yes him and I are still together to this day!!
Maternal lineage makes more logical sense anyway. Plus he doesnt sound like a father, more a sperm donor. Hold your ground, don’t feel bad.
1 Like
If the parents r married, then I think the baby should have the father’s surname, but if they aren’t married, tgen they should have their mother’s last name, because the mother has them 100% of the time, usually, and I think protects them somewhat. 
I’m giving my baby my dads last name which isn’t even the same name as mine for certain personal reasons on top of his dad doesn’t deserve to have my son with the same last name he ive told him im not giving him his last name and he was mad about it I didn’t care thats his personal issue 
I left the donor when I was 7 months pregnant. (I don’t call him a father, cause he isn’t one.) She proudly has my last name.
1 Like
My eldest had my last name but later double barrelled to be the same as his brother and sister. Names aren’t forever, if your child wants to change it when older they can.
So it’s a punishment right?
3 Likes
Hopefully he is an ex partner.
I did and regret it as he has never been a father to my son since we split up when my son was 3, I should have given him my surname
I don’t have either of my parents last name.
I was married to my babydaddy and I had changed my last name when we married to his surname. I wouldn’t wish my maiden name on my enemies because of the perverted jokes I heard growing up… We had 2 daughters so they might choose to take their husband surname or they may not its their decision to make.
My daughters last name is double barrelled using both are last names
Your partner already has a last name and this is who you chose to be the father of your child. Your journey!
Ive been with my partner 12.5 years (not married) all 3 of our boys have their dads surname. Id only been with him a week when i got caught pregnant (4 months gone when we found out though) so was unsure on surname to give at time with it being such a new relationship xx
Can you not just hyphenate it? Your last name-His last name
Myself and siblings all have my mother’s sir name
My boys have my last name. However, we didn’t have video games back in the day so I would say I was a father but not to the standards most would expect. Although I became a great father throughout the divorce and up to present day and as a grandfather of 4.
In ur case, dad is just a word to him. In practise he needs to give his time and heart a whole lot more. Not even to you, it’s your boy missing out.
don’t blame u at all for not feeling like giving his last name.
If he wants it, needs to make some changes.
I gave them his name and I regret it every day. He took off with the new woman after attacking me in front of the kids. Now I’m stuck
I wish every day I hadn’t and that I hadn’t put him on birth certificates 
If you remarry and want the new husband to adopt the baby daddy won’t have a say so. Leave him out and put unknown in the birth certificate. He’s a looser.
I’m more embarrassed by the fact that this person wrote “ I’m not giving my partner our baby’s last name “ * I’m not giving our baby my partners last name * I feel sorry for the baby 
# grammar
Nah ur child dont sound like he’s made much effort
Well, that seems right.
So you are doing payback.
That’s a pretty disgusting reason not to give your child their father’s last name. He was good enough for you to lay down with. That’s just unfair and at the end of the day who you’re hurting is the child. You’re very capable of giving the child both of your last names because you didn’t make that child by yourself even if you have to raise it alone you didn’t make it alone and the child is not a product of just yourself. As much of a loser that father may be as a young man he may not be a loser in 10 years when that child may need him more than he needs you.
9 Likes
No. I didn’t give my daughter her dad last name,he wasn’t no where around,never came to see if I was ok or if she was ok. She got older oh he. step in wanting to be 1 dad. Well that didn’t work. I had a friend that took her in she always called him dad and her daughter calls him pap
I did not give my oldest his father’s last name. I didn’t want to, it wouldn’t have mattered if I did. I had him in 1979. The hospital refused to give the baby the father’s name if. not married. And unless you threw a big enough fit, they left the father’s name blank on the birth certificate. So according to his birth certificate my son’s father doesn’t exist.
6 Likes
In that case I would not have given my child the dads last name either. My kids all have my childrens fathers last name because its a name they can be proud of. The relationship between him and I didn’t go exactly how I wanted it to go but hes a very good dad, his family are beautiful people and its a name they can be proud of. Hes earned the right to pass his name down and I wouldn’t even take that from him.
34 Likes
My oldest grandchild has the mother’s maiden name as a last name because she wasn’t married. The other 2 grandkids have their dad’s last name. They have talked about him adopting the oldest child, but can’t afford it at this time. My oldest is now 9 and the youngest is almost 2.
2 Likes
Nope. My oldest I had when I was 19. I wasnt married to his father, so he got my last name. My 2nd child is from a different guy and same thing. We weren’t married, and I want my kids to have the same last name, so they do.
7 Likes
You gave yourself to him for nothing! Have more respect for yourself! The baby is more important than either of you. God bless the little one!
3 Likes
You thought enough of him to have his children. The children should have their father’s last name! However, it may depend on circumstances. You may need to protect yourself for some reason. Just my opinion.
12 Likes
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I got married 23 years ago, had three children together after we married (all with my husband) and we all have his last name. We are still married and I am very fortunate to have a husband that is a wonderful father to our three children.
78 Likes
Lol all that you listed as the reason why but you obviously we’re okay with it all since you laid down got pregnant and are still with him … but he isn’t good enough to give the child his last name? 
23 Likes
I don’t care what your reasoning is, that’s his child, and the baby should have his dads name. If you were to ever file for child support, they will make you change it, at least here in Kansas.
I was not married with my children and they all have the fathers name.
32 Likes
Currently pregnant and definitely giving baby girl dads last name and we’re not married but he’s a great guy and he’s gonna be an even greater dad ! But regardless of anyone’s opinion it’s up to you ! I can definitely understand why you wouldn’t want your child to have the last name who is like that .
10 Likes
My daughter has my last name because her father wasn’t in the picture until she was 12. After awhile I asked her if she wanted to change it to his and she said she already said something to him about it. He response was he didn’t want to change it because his last name is cursed. Lol! And yes she still has my last name and is happy she didn’t change it.
4 Likes
I had my son at 16. I had planned to give him his sperm donors name. I was young and naive. His sperm donor was not there during my pregnancy…even ended up in jail. My mother and grandmother talked me out of giving my son his father’s last name when I was in labor. They told me I could always change it later. I am so grateful for them…my son is 18 and has only meet his father 2 times in his life. You have to go with your gut instinct. I am so glad u did.
31 Likes
My boys carried my last name if he’s an absent parent why label your kids with his name
2 Likes
I dont have kids to speak on that part but I did have an incredible mother who sacrificed a lot for me while she was still on earth. My dad was trash my entire childhood and since the day my mother passed when I was 13, I always wished I had her last name instead. I used her last name as my own any chance I could short of legal or work situations. I wanted to be associated only with the one who was caring for me and always there
4 Likes
Nope my children have my brothers last name and my maiden name. My brother came to live with us from a bad situation and was murdered 16 days before i delivered my first. She has josephine as her middle which Joseph was his name. … then when my second came along her dad was in prison so she got the same last name as my first… they know but they also arent asked 10 billion questions about being half sisters.
5 Likes
I did not give them his last name for the same reasons. He wasn’t a good boyfriend & wouldn’t commit & after my 1st one was here, he cheated & didn’t want to grow up & be a father. (I know you’re saying well why have another). At 19 & 22 I was dumb & thought I could “change” him. At 40 I had another child with my new partner & I didn’t want him to have his name either… I wanted my last name to be carried on ( no men in the family had kids) & we aren’t married but he fought me on it so we compromised & hyphenated
1 Like
I have 2 children from previous realtionships. With 2 different fathers. My first, has my last name. His “father” was not involved, did not claim or want anything to do with him. So my son did not get his name. My second sons “father” and I were in a decent relationship where I felt he deserved the honor of having a son bare his name. Now im married to my other childrens father and the other 5 have his last name. Its a bit complicated. But feels right.
1 Like
My son has my last name rather than his fathers. My father was a single child and only fathered girls so I did it to carry on the name. Even if i didnt have that reason I still would have given him my last name because im the one that was pregnant and had to carry him for 9 months.
1 Like
With my first, no. He walked out on me shortly after finding out i was pregnant and then claimed baby wasn’t his the rest of the pregnancy. And she was the spitting image of me, so there wasn’t even any looking like him. He continued to be absent up until paternity was established when she was 10 months old. So when paternity was established and we were asked if her name was being changed, he said yes and i said no. They told him if he wanted it changed, he would have to petition the courts for a name change. Long story short i had to drag him back to court at least 10 times over the next 8 years for failure to pay his child supprt (which for the first 6 years was a measly $37/week) while he mostly ignored her and pretended she didn’t exist. The only time he made contact with her was when he was pressured by his family or gf. When she was 10 he finally took me to court for visitation (his fiancee had him convinced that getting visitation would reduce his child support). During the 3 months visitation lasted, he never took her for a weeknight visit, never called, etc between his weekends. After 4 months my 10yo decided she wasn’t going. My husband of 9 years got a lawyer 2 months later and adopted her later that year.
28 Likes
I wasn’t and aren’t with my child’s Dad,so my son had my last name until he was 3,then a death in the family of his Great Granddad n my son being the only great grandchild at the time,I changed it so he has my last name then hyphenated with his Dads aswell.He prefers to only use mine though not both.
I gave my kids my last name and didn’t say who the real father was .So when I did marry my husband went to court house and signed papers saying he was their father and changed their last names to his last name . Perfectly legal !
4 Likes
Tradition! I took his name when we married so it was a no brained! If you aren’t married, the child should still have the father’s last name! It could help in any legal matters, medical matters or just the child itself, later in life!
3 Likes
I was told when I was pregnant with my son, that if he didn’t have my ex’s last name and joined the military, he wouldn’t be allowed security clearance. Not sure if it’s true but I gave him his dad’s last name.
1 Like
My older 2 kids have my last name because their dad’s were not involved But my 2 youngest have both mine and their dad’s last name. I wanted them to have mine but their dad didn’t so I put a - in between mine and his.
1 Like
Do whatever you want, someone else will always have an opinion. Your child won’t suffer because of a last name. They might however suffer at the hands of a deadbeat parent. A name is just a name.
4 Likes
My son has his Fathers last name but I don’t care what anybody decides, it’s their business.
4 Likes
If it is a traditionally married couple, there is n no question they should have their dads last name.
1 Like
My husband passed while I was pregnant, then family drama. Our daughter has my last name.
5 Likes
My oldest two children , both grown, have my maiden name. Oldest child’s biological father had attorney to tell me child’s last name had to be changed. Attorney tried to tell me that the child and father had to have same last name to carry insurance on him as court had just ordered that same day. I was young but wasn’t stupid! I informed the attorney that it didn’t make a damn what child’s last name was, it could be John Doe as far as insurance was concerned, that he could be covered by father’s insurance! Attorney didn’t say a word, turned around and left room. Went and told biological father that there was no reason to revisit that subject. 
1 Like
If you get married and all have the same last name that’s one thing, but if you are not married and he doesn’t want to step up and do the right thing then why should the child have his last name which is different than yours? Out of tradition? In many states it’s the MOTHER who has all the rights from the time of birth until she steps out of the hospital. This is so because it is the mother who has all of the responsibility at that point. So therefore she legally decides what name is on the birth certificate and who is at the birth and if a fathers name is listed on the birth certificate at all.
4 Likes
I sure wouldn’t give baby that “dads” name. That’s a deadbeat
2 Likes
I didn’t give my son his fathers last name. The reason was because I wanted my family’s name to carry on. Even though we got married, I kept my last name as well.
All in all u need to do what u feel is right. Anyone can be a “father” but it takes a real man to be a dad. Is he going to step up and put the baby first?
No I gave my daughter my last name she’s now almost 21 if she chooses to have his last name she can spend the money an change it…
I have a friend that gave her daughter’s her last name. And she gave her boys the fathers last name. Because the boys carry on the fathers last name legacy.
Just had a baby and im in a happy relationship. Im not married though so baby has my last name. We can change it later if we get married:)
This guy doesnt sound like a partner, sounds more like a " friend with benefits". I certainly wouldn’t saddle a child with his name. Of course, you probably would be better off with someone who really WAS a partner.
No. It was discussed that since our son is the only boy left to carry on the name. He has my name. My husband has a child from his first marriage who has his last name. So it works out well
My son did not get his bio-dads last name partly because he was never in the picture. My daughter did get her father’s last name because we were getting married.
Personal preference. I wasn’t married to my kids dad when my first was born. I gave my maiden name as his middle name and gave him his dads last name. His dad and I planned on marrying eventually, and we did. We had two other kids who also have his last name.
But if I thought he wouldn’t be involved at all, I probably wouldn’t have given them
his name.
Do what you feel is right girl! No one can tell you you’re right or wrong for it. When I was pregnant with my twins (at 17) my WHOLE family begged me not to give them their dads last name (because what if things don’t work out) my response was “hell still be their dad” obviously I ended up choosing to give them his last name after the nurses stressed to me that it was MY choice since we weren’t married. We got married when they were 4 weeks old so obviously my youngest also got his fathers last name … we got divorced last year and I decided to keep his last name because I wanted to have the same last name as my children (and didn’t want to go through the whole process of changing my last name again) my point is that at the end of the day it’s YOUR child and it’s your choice. I personally would tell him that you understand how he feels but he’s done nothing to show that he’s going to be an actual father to the child and therefore doesn’t deserve for the child to bear his name
My kids have my last name becuz the dads stepmother and her family were trying to claim my kids on taxes and tried to get info that wasn’t their business. Long story short, I did it to keep my kids safe
3 Likes
Not his choice if he’s not around or being supported.
1 Like
If he not stepping up he doesn’t deserve to be dad but do get cbild support and keep jounal on his father skills.
If he is not s constant in your life give the baby your last name. If the baby has his last name you will need his ok in the future to change it, at least hyphenate it if it’s an issue now.
No don’t give them his name and that Terina Mullins Mcbride stop bein so judgemental, like you have never made mistakes x
1 Like
I gave my son my last name. His dad wasn’t there for him
My older sister was given our moms last name. (Her dad left as soon as he found out my mom was pregnant.) When I had my daughter, I wanted her to have her father’s last name, but let him make decision. Also let him make decision if he wanted paternity test. When she was born, she looked like his sister. He decided no paternity test was needed. She has his last name, and we married when she was almost 3.
My oldest son carries his Dad’s last name and my youngest boys carry their Dads last name but my daughter carries mine!
I have my bio dads last name, i have only seen this man 2 times in my life. I am 31 and had To pay for the name change so that i could have a name i was proud of.
My oldest has my maiden last name and my youngest and second child have my married last name. My third child has their father’s last name.
Children should have a connection to their father. You picked your partner, your child did not. Make, the father would wake up … you should seek advice from a private therapist, religious person, seeking advice from Internet is the last place you should do. If he is an alcoholic you have a problem. Lots of luck 
I did give them their dad’s last name because we were married. If I wasn’t married I would give them my last name.
I gave my children my last name!
I did, but we also knew we were going to be married. I wanted us to all have the same last name. If we wouldn’t have had marriage plans I would have hyphenated the last name.
Make sure when you make that dexision…you have thought about how youre gonna handle that situation when your child becomes an adult and wants to know why.
1 Like
Not with first two third one yes. Because I wasn’t married with first two .
If your not married I think it’s more normal not to give the child the fathers last name, especially if the father isn’t sticking round much. But if you are married, unless divorce is bring done, I feel the kid should be given the fathers last name. But you comments lead to believe you two are not married. At this point there is nothing even holding him to stay. And if he is so aloof and uncaring, do you want him to stay? You may be looking at being a single mom seeking child support.
If Theres any doubt in your mind go with your last name. You can always change it later. My bf has his sperm donors last name and he hates it. And now that hes an adult its expensive to change it.
If they are not worthy of giving your child their last name, why have a child with them?
1 Like
2 yes, but only because I was married to him and I was required to by law. My other two have my maiden name
My oldest has his dads last name bcuz we were engaged and soon to be married…but didn’t happen. And my younger two have my last name cuz their dad’s were nvr involved really. Its honestly all up to u.
Its easier to have the baby have the same last name as the mom. If you fly somewhere you will have to prove your his mom or they will think your kidnapping of names don’t match.
Its your choice. Don’t let anyone think your decision is wrong. Your the mom. You will do what you think is best your child.
my son has mine. It doesn’t seem to bother him he doesn’t have his dad’s. If he wants to change it someday I am fine with that
Being. " sperm donor" is not the same as being a “father” ! I think unless the man is truely a father in all ways , he does not deserve to have the named after him !