I did the same. Our son has my last name instead of his dad’s. I was young back then and not so sure of him. I thought he was irresponsible and that I will not have a future with him. My parents disliked him and disagreed to give me to him.
But he pursued me and strived harder in life. He waited for me to finish my studies. Now we are engaged and we will change our son’s last name after the wedding.
My parents love my baby daddy more than me, even my friends like him more than me. He is a great man. Our son is turning 7 this year.
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My kids dad wasn’t around for either pregnancy. He was a real POS, lieng, cheating, sneaking around so the kids got my last name and I don’t regret it one bit.
My son’s name is hyphenated 
and his dad’s last name is first. Your reason is 100% valid of why you chose not to use the baby dad’s last name
Mine have their dads last name
It’s up to the individual and their situation
Why would you give your child their fathers name if they don’t want anything to do with them
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My son, now 30 has his dads last name but we weren’t married.
When I did get married 4 years later to someone else & had my daughter I wished my son had my name so i could change it & we’d all have the same name.
When he was little he wanted to be the same as the rest of the family 
.
My husband was called Mr (son’s surname) all the time at school, drs etc.
But as he grew up he loved his name 
- it is Italian.
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In the same sort of position sometimes I wish my daughter didn’t have her dads last name but she does, she likes it, my parents aren’t married although they’ve been together almost 40 years but we all have my dads last name maybe it’s an English thing it’s just sort of unspoken that children take their fathers surname most of the time, it’s your baby it’s your decision and if it feels right to you then use your name x
Its okay. Our son have my last Name, too. But my Partner ist cool with it, since He wants to take my Name as well if we should get married 
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When I was born I was given my mums name as her and my dad were not married, but then 9 years later when they did get married, myself and my younger sister had our name changed to our dads.
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My son has my last name but me and his dad had split up before I even found out about him. He said he wanted nothing to do with our son but he has been in and out of his life from him being little. My sons 11 and has never once mentioned wanting to have his dad’s surname although he has mentioned having my partners surname if we got married. Iv been with my partner nearly 8 years we don’t have getting married on the cards though
I gave my son my last name and I was with my now husband at that time. We both changed our names when we got married. No “end game” I just wanted him to have my name xx
My oldest has got my last name because dad left when I was pregnant…my youngest has got his dad’s last name because were together
Our kids have my last name - when mummy and daddy get married we will all change our names together - that way its is a special day for them too
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Gave my daughter her father’s name, we weren’t married, but he made this big thing about it. Should never have done that. Sorry to this day!
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I have a girl and a boy my girls in her dad’s last name this was hard debate between us then when I had my son my dad died in 2013 and to carry on the family name as he’s the last boy in family I had him in my last name my dad’s he would of been so proud. But if my dad was here he would of said same to me have kids in my name as we are not married bit each to their own I suppose I just felt like I wanted to carry on my dad’s family name so he lives on though my son x
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Yes had fathers name but I was married to him. Even if i wasn’t they still would.
My daughter gave them here name but as the father came back on the scene and one twin was very very poorly she was advised by the hospital to add his name otherwise they couldn’t give treatment if they were with their dad so she gave them double barrelled name but she wasn’t happy about it
I’m the oldest of 7. We all have the same last name but the first 4 are from my dad and the last 3 are from my step dad but was given my dads name. My mum didn’t want us having different names. Only thing is we don’t have anything to do with my dad(his choice as we’ve tried).
My children have my name. They have the same dad. I birthed them and I knew that regardless of who was going to be in and out of my children’s life the only person I could truly count on to never let them down or walk out was me.
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If you are with the child’s father then yes the child should have the fathers surname, not just tradition it’s to include the father, you didn’t birth a child alone. And even if the relationship doesn’t work the child should still have his father’s name
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I had my mum’s last name until I was about 8… When my mum and dad got married is when they changed my last name
Wouldn’t give the fathers last name if I wasn’t married.Just my opinion everyone to their own opinion.
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Mine both have my last name due to fact we both agreed, also I can take them out of country without asking his permission 
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I married him before I had our children so we all have the same last name if we didn’t marry id of still given children his surname because im old fashioned like that but id hate to be in a household where everyone’s got different surnames on the post x
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My now ex wanted her surname for my 2 eldest sons but back tracked when the first was born. Good job really as I’ve had full custody of them since they were 3 & 4. She puts everything/everyone else before her children! Just because a woman carries a baby doesn’t automatically make them a mother! As I’m now married (never married their mother) they love having the same surname as their brilliant Step mother. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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It’s your decision my boys have doubled barrelled his then mine we are no longer together my eldest has decided to just now use my name you could add it as part of his middle name to stop any disagreement but I don’t have my dad’s name and I have never been bothered go with what you think is right
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I wasn’t married at the time our son was born and I/we didn’t think it was fair or right to have one or the other so we double barrelled it
We did marry when our son was 8 but divorced 7 years later
Don’t regret giving our son both our surnames plus he has a unique surname no one else has …you do what you feel is right but obviously not everyone is gonna agree
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I have my mums last name as i didnt have a dad growing up…my children have their dads name tho as he raises them with me 50/50
Both my 2 kids have got my last name as we both agreed. I was at both births and supportive through out both pregnancy and it what we both agreed on
My son has my last name. Regardless of weather we was together or not that is how it was gonna be.
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My 3 children have my last name and there dads last name. Double barrel. I wanted them to have mine in it and now I’ve lost my dads means so much more that they have this name xx
I’d be exactly the same. I wouldn’t worry about it if he’s not going to be present in the child’s actual life, not just have his name. There are bigger issues he need to sort out first.
I have given my son both of our names. His is Charlie George Froggatt-Robertson froggatt Is my last name and Robertson Is my partners last name. We are still together and are engaged I didn’t want to cut him out of the name completely so I put them together instead xx
The way I look at it is when the baby is born its known as “baby (mums surname)” plus if u ever go on holiday now u need to take birth certificates to prove your child is yours x
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When I was born I had my mums maiden name until they got married then I got changed to my dads, then when I had my son I wanted to give him my surname and I got told that it was disrespectful, I’m taking all of his rights away as a farther the list goes on so I landed on double barrelled
I gave my son his dad’s surname, we married a few years after he was born. We have been divorced 6 yrs but due to my son having his surname I kept my marriage name so that my son and I have the same last name as each other x
I was brought up that they have the dads last name as when you both get married you all have the same surname. Didn’t get married, and I hate the fact the kids I have 24/7 have a different surname to me. If I could go back they would have my surname x
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Not married but I compromised and gave them both our names just used a hyphen! So it’s his last name hyphen then mine! Maybe consider that.
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Our children have my surname because my partner does not want to carry on his father’s name and when we marry he will take my surname too. We are both happy with our choice
My son had his father’s surname and he wasn’t in his life, I met someone knew and married and my son changed his surname via deed poll to the same as ours
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My first child has my maiden name as his dad wasn’t in the picture.
My daughter has my husband’s name.
We did give my son the choice of what name he wanted once I got married but he wanted to keep my maiden surname.
I hifernated our surnames as we were not married at the time. I changed it when we did marry two years later. I wanted the baby to have my surname as I would be doing doc appointments and school runs etc.
My daughter has a double barrelled name so has both mine and her dad’s last name.
OK, I’m going to say It…We have no problem using our ancestors " Slave " owners last name. Nobody running around changing there names for a good reason, but quick to change or delete our children’s Father names… No matter what this Man IS, BEFORE, DURING OR AFTER Fatherhood…
“YOU” PICKED HIM!
My sister and I were double barrelled, but we’ve now since both picked our last name that we’re comfortable with
My kids have there dad’s names but only because they have good dad’s and That’s what you do… but I always thought if I gave them my name and then I got married I would have to change there name which would mix them up a bit. My daughter has her dad’s name but she’s known by mine because her dad left when she was 1 and didn’t bother for a long time… he’s good now but she’s still known as my name x
I have given both my children a double barreled surname as we aren’t married and I want them to have my surname too.
When we get married I will have a double barrelled surname like my children have
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Weirdly me & my other half have the same last name (not married)
Both my children have mine and fathers last name!
My surname, we carry them, go through all the pain to have them and potentially are the ones left to look after them in the event of a break up. If yous are married then obviously yes. Otherwise why should the bay be given the dads surname, just because its been tradition for many years. Nope
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My first child had my husbands last name second child had mine rest had a deed poll name! All his children had my reasons xx
My 3 are all double barrelled with there dads last name first so when the doctors call them they say there 1st name and the last, last name which is mine haha xxx
With my first I wanted my son to have my first name because we weren’t married. Everyone kicked off so I double barrelled it. My second son is the same x
I’d double-barrel their surname, ive seen a lot of comments of “well I birthed them” or “alot of men don’t stick round” but it’s as much as the man’s child as it is the woman’s, it takes 2 to tango and ive known a few woman to walk away from their children unfortunately, it does happen. I think its only fair to half/half it and let your child have the 2 names
I had my Dads and my Mum changed it by deedpoll when I was 10 as my Dad wasn’t around. I dont remember ever having another surname. The only time I would choose the fathers surname if I knew we were genuine and that I’d one day also have the same surname x
Only one did and that’s after his dad’s parents paid for the change, but the rest got mine
Mine had her dads surname and my daughters baby has her dads surname.
My partner offered for our first child to have my surname but I gave him his dads last name we are married now so we all have the same name
I was married at the time so she got my ex’s last name. But her middle name is my last name
My oldest has my name as no dad about my other 4 have my name 2 and they have a dad just his surname is his sept dads not his real name
Both my daughters have their dads surname,we were together but sometimes wish they had a double barrelled last name as I’m no longer with their dad
My grandchildren had their mothers last name because their father refused to marry her and share his name
Mine have double barrel last names so have both our surnames
My step soon has both mums last night and dads last name (my partner.
Mine and my partners son has the dads last name as is.
For me it’s just how I’ve known it to be and I always said prior to having a child as long as the father is supportive and involved my child would have his last name. Even if me and my partner where not together he would have his last name as long as he was involved and supportive.
If he wasn’t he’d have my last name or I’d change it if ever needed.
Both my children I had both surnames put on the birth certificate took two to make them so both surnames on there birth certificate . X
So he was good enough to have a baby with but not good enough to give his surname? I am confused as to why you would use a surname as punishment for behaviour you were well aware of before making a baby with this person. To me it sounds petty and controlling just because he isn’t acting the way you want
My older boys have there dads last name but my youngest his last name is mine and his dads hyphenated
Personally, I would always use the father’s surname as that is the traditional way, but I know some people choose not to. I can understand you not wanting to use it if he was absent and unhelpful (with the child) but it should be a joint decision anyway.
Your post is confusing as you say you’re not giving your baby your partner’s surname but you also say he wasn’t there - are you referring to the duration of the pregnancy? If his actions were as bad as your post implies, I am surprised that he is still your partner. Have you tried to communicate with him about this and help him understand why you’ve made this decision?
I’ve seen a few comments about giving children hyphenated names. Please don’t do this. It’s a pain in the ass to fill in forms or sign documentation, I have to spell it out all of the time because people don’t know how to write it - some don’t even know what a hyphen is - and it often gets shortened as people can’t be bothered to use my full name properly anyway! x
You have to remember you can also have two mums
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Did I just read that correctly you are not giving your partner your babies last name. Or do you mean you are not giving your baby your partners last name.
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My child has her dad’s name. Just the way I’ve always known.
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My child has my name I wasn’t married soooo she has my name x
I agree that’s wat I’m doing for sane reason as yourself xx
I did I guess just tradition really
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Both my babies have my last name
You could use both surnames . Or just do what you think best
I didn’t have my dads last name.
My two boys have my last name
Unless you’re married I think it’s up to the mum
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I got my mums last name, my girls got my last name too.
My two babies are double barrelled my name first though
Yep same! And we werent married. He is pissed, oh well.
As long as you agree. Or you could give it both names
Nope if I’m not married then they have my surname xx
Mine have both last names. I would not give a child the father’s last name if he wasn’t present.
Absolutely no way , my daughter gave her son his dads name and hes a complete waste of space who doesnt deserve it
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Is he still your partner and are you going to name him on the birth certificate? It takes 2 to make a baby, especially if it’s a decision you made together to get pregnant in the first place therefore it would be nice to consider the name options together, it should be a joint decision. Taking personal feelings aside, if that child is going to have a relationship with their father maybe consider how they will feel about not having his name further down the line? It sounds like you’re just using it as a punishment and that’s not a very healthy way to bring a baby into the world, seems there are deeper issues at hand than just the baby’s name. I’m not judging, sounds like he’s not been a prince from what you have said, tough situation to be in. Hope you get a resolution. Have you both thought about counselling before the baby arrives? He still has a chance to step up and be a good father.
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I wasn’t married to the father of my children but they all had their dad’s last name
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My first son has his dads last name, never married but he bullied me in to doing it, 2nd son got my last name as his dad left when I told him I was pregnant, and my daughter has both me and her dads last names lol
I have my moms maiden/last name and I am happy she gave it to me.
I did and I regret it. If you’re not married I wouldnt use his last name.
Our daughter has his last name.
He is an amazing father and has loved her since she was in the womb.
I hate my last name and the person I got it from I consider my sperm donor so I would rather she didn’t have that name.
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When you realize the tradition rich God orchestrated value of marriage, one will come to recognize His ways are best. Otherwise, we will simply be fixated on doing it our way.
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I’m married with 6 kids. I never changed my last name (it’s mine and I don’t want to change it), my husband and I discussed my desire to have a child with my family name for quite some time. He filled out her birth certificate himself with my last name for our youngest and was completely comfortable with it.Tradition doesn’t mean you have to do something.
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My 2 sons have my last name, I gave birth to them and so they are mine lol
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My first born, her dad was never around so she has my last name. My 2nd born has both and I wish I never did that. His dad has only been around when he wants to show off. Now that my son is older he never sees him and refuses to see his dad. Has always gone by my last name but they always use his dad’s last name over mine. I guess cause it’s the very last on his birth certificate. He has told them several times he goes by mine. They still do it. So he gave up. He wants to remove his dad’s name eventually
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Me and my sons dad are still together but my sons have my last name, I was worried that if he was to run out or anything I didn’t want them stuck with that last name and have problems changing it
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