I think it’s clear to you .you know in your gut.
Whatever occured , the relationship is between you and him .you cannot allow his son not see him cos he is hurt .
I think it’s clear to you .you know in your gut.
My question would be if you don’t have nothing to hide why lie? I have lots of male friends my hubby has lots of female friends we are honest when are hanging out with them.
Run Honey Run you can’t fix this Run
You already know the answer…
Oh honey he is doing the dirty with her behind your back 100%.
You poor thing
I’d leave. A man who prioritize another woman’s feelings over yours isn’t your man. Plus it sounds like he’s been straight up cheating. Sorry but good luck!!!
Sounds like my story. Sorry but I left after I caught em . Took too long for me to accept it. Don’t wait years. They went everywhere together and I got ignored. Spare yourself . Leave.
He is a waste of time at this point
No matter what’s going on between you guys withholding his son is wrong
The decision is up to you and how to handle this but either way you should never stop a child from having a parent in a reaction a child Needs both parents so if you decide that this can’t be worked out you need to learn how to coparent
Girl, kick him out. Plain and simple.
So, wait, DURING all this BS, you married him? Why is this not making sense to me…
I didn’t even read the whole thing. Drop him. Nope
Leave while it’s still early on this relationship… so you don’t waste and or he doesn’t waste anymore of your time or your youth on him… he is not worth it. If he lies to you now he will do it to you over and over, again and again… but don’t include your son in this trouble. Your son needs his dad. You can divorce him but be civil with him about your son.
They shared a room, the car, copious amounts of time. They switched shifts together, he moved departments for her. That’s her husband it sounds like. He was def getting tail too. Went to HR over feeling betrayed?? They were having an affair. He was definitely sleeping with her. Her feelings and all that mattered to him more, that is already your answer. Would have bolted the moment you found out the first lie.
Just leave him behind and let another treat you like you should have been treated. No point in continuing to expend your precious energy and vulnerability on a dead end who will take it all for granted with no real remorse.
You’ve seen all that you need to see. But your not admitting the truth. So don’t take peoples time and ask strangers about what you already know. Get a life
I would have a little chat with the work wife. With the baby on my hip. Ask her if she is ready for joint custody, ready to have his wages garnished for child support, ready to have him move in while he grieves the failure of his marriage. Ask her if his lies to her are worth all that.
I would leave him personally. But I would not keep his child from him if he wished to see him. I would just have court set up child support & visitation rights.
Please don’t keep the child away from a father. If he wants to be a dad to him, let him. Just because y’all two don’t work out (if you decide to leave, or he does) doesn’t mean the child should lose a dad. That’s not fair. And could potentially cause the child to resent you in the future!
I know it’s sad and your heart is broken. But please don’t do that to your child. Let him show the child his true colors!
I get your upset, as you should be, but don’t use your child as a pawn to get back at him. That makes you just as shitty.
Leave him set up a custody agreement so your son has both mom and dad and move on with your life. He made his choice and sadly it was not his family.
Have your divorce lawyer send him a letter of intent.
Read this back as if your friend or sister wrote it. Or your future daughter. And think how you would advise her.
Why have u tolerated this FOR THREE YEARS!!! People will treat you the way you allow them to… And it sounds as if you’ve been fine with sharing until now. I don’t see any hope for this relationship.
Your son however is totally separate. A child should NEVER be kept from a good parent.
Drop him. You deserve better and your son deserves a happy and mentally healthy mom. You can’t be that with him acting like this.
Move on girl.
Kick him to the curb
You deserve more
Sounds like he has chosen her instead of you.,
Time to move on without him
He was sleeping with her for sure. Get out of that situation fast
Im sorry he treats you like this. He sounds like a narrsict.do you .you deserve better.
Why should YOU have to fix this?
You need to just end it, but don’t keep his child from him. If you don’t trust him and he has lied this entire relationship then to me that means he isn’t fully in the relationship.
Leave him. You will find someone better
If he can’t respect you enough to be loyal when you raise valid concerns then he doesn’t deserve you .
His actions prove he doesn’t know what he wants ,
maybe you leaving his shit will make him realize he missed out on you and what he has done , and how he has made you feel , as nobody deserves to feel like that in a relationship .
3 years is TOO LONG!! Honestly he does this cus you tolerate it. A man does what a woman allows.
Any man that puts another female over his wife isn’t worth the time. Give him an ultimatum, you or her. It’s that simple, sounds like he chose her and your just twisting in the wind. Sorry but unless he changes jobs and quits all contact I’d be out
Everything else isn’t ok but not a reason I could see keeping his child from him. That’s not cool either.
Wait wait wait… so you ALL work together and yet she doesn’t know u r married???
Sounds like you’re in denial. He clearly has something going on with her. And the fact that he’s still lying about still communicating with her AND he shared a hotel room with her would of been enough to send me on my way up out that relationship/marriage! Good luck to you girl hope you do what’s best for you!
I wouldnt tolerate it. And i agree with everything you said aside from him not seeing both yalls son.
Nope, he disrespected you and your marriage. It won’t stop obviously by his history so get out now.
This has been going on 3 YEARS? No girl, that is not just a friendly coworker situation.
You already know he will not give up on her! You need to move on. He has already.
First off if he was doing this prior to getting married, why did you marry him in the first place, second, it’s never ok to keep a child from their dad because of something he did to you, the only reason you should ever keep a child away from a parent is if they are a bad parent
Read this again like it’s your sister or your daughter. What would you tell them to do?
Don’t keep his kid away if he’s a good dad but when it comes to you, tell him to kick rocks.
Ok, you knew in the beginning that he possible was seeing someone else, yet you continued to be with him, get married & have his baby… Sorry i couldn’t read all this. But why in God’s name once you knew, you continued to stay with him ??? Since you did , you honestly know where your relationship is going . Please read what you wrote over & over again, until you get it. And if you don’t,… nothing will change
Wow he had a girlfriend in ur face at the same job the whole time.
Kick him to the curb!! He’s never going to be trustworthy!
He says he shared a room with her and you seriously believe they didn’t go anything?!? Especially since there were no boundaries set & she doesn’t know about you!! This is terrible you’re going through this but I guarantee you it’ll just get worse.
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT!!
Ummm in Reality… you have let this go on for 3 years.
Hard Facts: he was having an affair with this lady. He stopped then started again… and stopped again… that’s why there is an HR case.
Will he do it again—- yep! Because he doesn’t think he got caught… he thinks you 100% believe his lies so yes he will cheat again.
So the real question is…
Do you want to continue to be cheated and lied to?
The one thing I do have to say just because he’s a dirt bag with you does not give you the right to tell him he cannot see his son.
Run, as fast as you can.
You should of left from the start! his trash!!! Leave his ass!
Think of it this way. If your very best friend or sister told you this. What would your answer be?
I absolutely think this is grounds to leave him, but not to keep his child from him. He’s hurting you, don’t take your pain out on him through your child.
Nope, I wouldn’t be dealing with any of that, disrespectful. You already know what you gotta do.
They shared a room?
Girl i think u know what to do
Do not with hold hes child from him because ur hurt by him:roll_eyes:that part is petty AF…
. But… I’d diffintly leave hes ass
my husband used to have a girl at work i asked him to stay away from but he would not, i was in his work one day and he grabbed her ass! idk if he didnt notice me or not but i was pissed. one night he didnt come until 4:30 in the morning! he was off at 12 am( he worked at wendys with his dad) his dad had a side fling there as well. he claims he sat in the car while his dad and his fling fucked around and he sat there…. bullshit buddy i know she was with him but couldnt prove it
For your peace of mind and heart, leave. Easier said than done but you have to.
Girls, respect yourself: leave
Fucking run! You deserve better then some lying rat!
Fuck that & fuck him! Tell him to move out or leave yourself if he won’t. Hire a good lawyer & stay away from him til court dates come along. Total BS on his part. He’s a cop out in every sense of the word. You’d be happier without him as much as you think fixing it is the answer. Be single til someone shows you its worth it forreal.
Omg kick him to the curb,he’ll never change, been there done that. I forgave couple time’s kept believing he’s gonna change,nope just started covering up better. So enough was enough. Sorry but that trip and hotel room done it for me.
Wouldn’t trust him in a million years
Leeeeaave. He’s disrespecting you and your boundaries.
Lol is this a serious question? Honey take the blinders off
Kick him to the kerb, you should have done it ages ago. Not worth worrying about focus on you and your son. You should have had a word with her ages ago, I would have
He is gaslighting you. I’m sorry.
Be done with him and move on. You will never be able to trust him after the lies and deception.
This is going to sound harsh, but when I read,
“We met at work, and shortly after we started seeing each other, I picked up on some red flags when he was sneaking around behind my back with a female coworker.”
I immediately thought, why did you continue with the relationship? I have a pretty low tolerance for BS and refuse to put myself in a situation where someone thinks they can walk all over me. As far as I’m concerned, you already gave him a few chances. Not only has he continued on with this woman, he’s also brazen enough to carry on their relationship where you all work. I also call BS on her not knowing about your marriage. Just because he didn’t tell her, doesn’t mean nobody else did. Also, who tattles to HR about someone wanting to distance themselves? If you continue give him chances, he is going to continue to do it. You haven’t held him accountable. He hasn’t had consequences for his actions. You should definitely separate from him, but do not withhold your child from him. The problem is between you and him. The baby is innocent in all of this and should remain so. Whether you like it or not, the child deserves both parents.
No company is having opposite sex co workers share a room thats complete bullshit & u know it! If u wanna continue to play deaf dumb & blind thats on you but if this was a girlfriend or sister telling u what u told us u already know what u would’ve told her - best of luck!
Honey- don’t be the laughing stock of the town.
Kick him to the curb! He shared a room with her! Remember that he wasn’t sorry while you didn’t know! Best of luck
How many lies and red flags does it take?
A relationship that you been in for FAR too long. He proved in the beginning that he didn’t care about you and that he was more interested in his coworker.
He’s a no good lying cheater. Do NOT believe a man that says “friends only” then shares a room with her. He switched up his hours so they can spend time together. Disrespectful at the very least, to you, especially when your preggers. Run
I would have left the minute I found out they were sharing a room and rental car together. Thats not normal or okay. Ignoring you while he’s with her is also a big no no in my eyes as well. Theres too many red flags here and i feel like you’ve allowed this to go on way past what you should have.
Get out. He has no respect for you.
They totally fucked in that hotel room.
Sorry but I woulda threw that dude to the curb as soon as he started talking to another female . He’s gaslighting you .
I’m not even going to go to into the cheating thing people are so quick to say leave him divorce him.
In the end even if he did cheat and even if you do divorce please don’t threaten to not allow him to see his son. This has nothing to do with the baby and unless he was abusive he has ever right to see the baby no matter how hurt/ betrayed you are
You know what you need to do. You just don’t want to do that. Men like him, never change because they think they never do any wrong. It’s the women who are weak and call him in. Kick his butt to the curb, don’t argue who he chooses to spend his time with. Including your baby. You heal yourself and move on.
Love is blind. WE ALL ARE NOT LEAVE. WHAT ARE U WAITING FOR.
They shared a room in Alabama? Hell no!! Not something I could live with…
How many times are you going to allow him to lie to you? Get out.
Martin Ramirez what do you think I would do?
Didn’t want to hurt HER feelings??!
Get rid of the cheat
He has continuously lied straight to your face about a woman who didn’t know you existed…. Yet you asked maturely, multiple times for him to squash it and instead of “possibly hurting her feelings” he lied to you and hurt yours. Unfortunately, in my opinion, he doesn’t hold you as high as you do him. I honestly think you deserve better! Best of luck!
Leave then go get help for yourself. Cheating isn’t cool. But threatening to not let someone see a child they are a parent too makes you just as big of a piece of shit.
Kick him to the curb, they don’t change ever,
If you want a monogamous marriage, your husband doesn’t seem like the right guy for you. He sounds like a habitual cheater and you, too, deserve to be happy. So sorry you’re going through all this instability.
You need to do some counseling on self worth.
This man is a liar/cheater-
He’s cheating girl. For sure. For all u know she could of went he over sexual harassment . I don’t know where u work, but he where I’m at they would laugh if an employee came to them bc someone broke their heart. All this I can’t remember who was sin my car is a manipulative way of avoiding lying to u. I can’t remember bc he don’t want to get caught in another lie. They stayed don’t he same room he def. Cheated. Obvi something happened maybe a fight or something things got ugly and we’re taken to hr. Love is blind !! There is more to this then he’s telling u. U could always tell him she confessed everything to u and see what he says. Wait and do it when they r arguing or something. That’s how I caught mine the dumbass told em everything. Lol
Story of my life. But absolutely no it’s not normal behaviour for friends, your cheating husband is not faithful to you and does not respect you at all if he did he would of cut ties and never seen or spoke to her again. Your trust is broken and you will always feel like he is cheating on you. Been there done that
He didn’t inform her of your marriage, he switched to the same department as her and same shift as her, they shared a hotel room and rental car, they take breaks together, he ignores your texts when with her, knows where her house is, I mean how many “red flags” do you need honey. You should have left him long ago. Be thankful for your son at least you gained one great thing from this relationship.
He didn’t want to hurt her feelings…but had absolutely no care for yours.
I’m sorry, but that speaks volumes.
You know what you need to do hun, you’re just not at the point of doing it yet. When you are, it will be the easiest, most relieving decision you’ve ever made!
Same thing happened to me and my ex, You will never be able to trust him!
Kick him to the curb. He’ll always be a cheater and a liar.
My mother always said the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior and that we teach people how to treat us by what we put up with. She was a very wise woman. In your head you already know the correct answer to your question, honey. Now you have to get your heart on board with your head.
Bye… kick his ass to the curve. He’s been cheating on you and ain’t gonna stop. You can do better. Quit putting your life on hold for him and start living it. I know from experience there is better waiting for you. He won’t change and you’ll never trust him. Better to be done and suffer for a while and your heart will heal over time and you’ll be so thankful you did one day.
Dump him. U deserve better. If trust is gone all is gone.