Mine weren’t allowed to be alone with anyone like that till 16 so yes I get it. I also had a parent lie to me and yes I found out that things did happen 
. Wait till they try to get him back over there and then make your argument and he needs to understand that her parents lied and knowingly went against your wishes and that’s not ok.
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Honestly why even allow a gf at this point. If you are going to this extreme, he shouldn’t have never had a gf at his age, 14 is way too young to be having any sort of bf/gf relationships! kids need to be kids and be around friends and in groups in this age group.
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My five-year-old comes home every day telling me how she’s got a new boyfriend and girlfriend even at 14 they don’t really have the concept of knowing and understanding The concept of what a boyfriend and her girlfriend is if the parents are present I just let him be you can’t keep him in a bubble for the rest of his life you’re becoming toxic
Explain to me the difference between 14. & 16. Teach him respect for girls. Teach him safe sex. Teach him to be honest with you and talk to you about anything and everything. Believe me, no matter what you do, if they are going to do it, they will find a way. Better to have a child that is honest and trustworthy with you than a child that is lying to you, skipping school, and sneaking around.
Relax … your going to push him to start going behind your back! Your way over reacting!
I think you are a bit over the top…
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The parents shouldn’t have lied. They knew how you felt and didn’t care. I think all of y’all need to sit down and have a hard talk. Talk about that incident and that from now on if they spend time at anyone’s house together it will be yours. I also feel like you need to loosen up a little, have some faith in your son. Hopefully you’ve taught him well and he knows how to control himself. My daughter started dating around 16. I allowed her boyfriend to come hang out with the family all the time. They could never be in a room with a closed door. Her boyfriend became like part of the family. We all loved him. They both had good morals and didn’t try to break any rules. My daughter tells me everything because we have a very close relationship. The harder you are on your kids it seems like the harder it backfires. Fourteen is a little young to be “dating” but y’all could invite the little girl over for special occasions. Just to get an idea of how they are together.
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Your doing good cause if you let them sneak Around she gonna end up pregnant nobody wants a baby that young ground him and don’t let him see her for a week until he understands his not suppose to be alone with her
I get it. There’s a “he said she said” issue here and I have 3 boys and told them to never be alone with a girl so they couldn’t be accused. I raised them to be gentleman but to also be aware of themselves and their surroundings.
My hubby is a LEO and has seen it happen on both sides.
You are his mom, no one else. Raise your kids YOUR way! He is not an adult yet!!
Period!
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You are NOT overreacting. 14?!
No your in the right hes too young and hormones going crazy at this age. Lots of teen pregnancy because of crap like this. I do applaud your son for being honest with you he deserves credit for that but I would just wait if her moms calls back let her know she lied and your son is no longer allowed to go over
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Wow this surprises me. I believe opposite sexes can be just friends…but why make it easy to become more? II see it as responsible parenting. .that’s lacking in todays homes. How about parents stand firm in their beliefs, rules,whatever? We want that of kids.(if your friend jumped off cliff, would you} I purpose helping, teaching, standing with our kids. And no…I don’t know any who have run away because parents were strict.
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First time I was allowed to spend the night at my boyfriend’s house I was 17. We fell asleep watching a movie in the living room. We fell asleep ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE COUCH, my mom swore up and down we had done something. Even though him and I never kissed 
she stopped me from seeing him and the relationship ended
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I would call her in a heartbeat 
This is exactly how my 14 year old ended up pregnant so I absolutely do not think you are overreacting.
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Over reacting by 125% … I understand your annoyance and frustration . But education is more productive than rules with no explanation . If you explain your reasons and you say you trust your son , then what more can you do ? Teach him that NO , means No . CONSENT is important. Teenagers have hormones through the roof . And at the end of the day , your son has feelings for her , he would definitely see you differently once you start controlling his moves , telling him who he can and can’t see and when he can and can not see them .
Mama , you are doing a great job protecting your baby , BUT , your baby is no longer , and he is growing up .
Educate him , be open , talk to him about safe encounters with a female . Teach him about females . Teach him the things you wish you knew as a teenager .
And I wish you the best xx
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I wish I would have done more and not have been so trusting. Teenagers will be teenagers and the boys mother jad the audacity to tell me …well if it helps aby I give all my teenagers condoms…um really bitch I guess you should have taught him to use the damn thing. My daughter and I had several conversations about birth control and she promised me over and over she didn’t need it. Things happen and I love my grand daughter but I also know that it will be a very difficult life for my daughter but she has all the support in the world.
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As someone who had very strict parents, the more you act like this, the more they will find ways to do what they want behind your back. You really think some girl’s parents are gonna let their daughter get busy with a boy in the basement at 14? Get real. Sounds like you need to work at learning to have real conversations with your son instead of treating him like a baby.
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You have to trust your children to do the right thing
Let them be & have fun!
Your just going to create sneaky kids by keeping them shelter . You are showing your kids you have no trust in them and that’s a parenting fail . Educate and communicate . There’s such a thing as strict and overly strict . If you don’t want your son being around and having any female friends then put him in an all boys school . Kids of the opposite sex are able to have friends and they should !
There kids who dont need kids . Kids are kids there gonna try it like eating candy so yes never put them alone thats jst askn for trouble always supervisor your kids. Thats why our generation is messed up today and there are no morals left today . I would call … Good luck
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Its fair to be angry that you were lied to but I think you need to have some more faith in your kid because here’s the tea, teenagers will absolutely have sex at some point. Maybe you could try and speak with her parents about having conversations with both kids about consent, contraception, respect, honesty… my mum was strict and I can tell you, it certainly didn’t stop me, it just made me a lot better at lying and sneaking around.
Communication is key, talk to the parents, talk to the kids, be open and honest and you’ll have much better relationships all round.
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Consider letting her come over so you can see their interaction. You can mingle and be within ear shot; use it as a learning & teaching opportunity. This may build trust between the 2 of YOU. You and your son.
Additionally, he may be more forthcoming and feel like he can talk to you about matters that concern you.
The tight reigns never ever helped any situation.
Good luck - I see you’re very concerned 
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Over protecting causes an abundance of rebellion! Fyi
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There should not of been lying done by the parents. Shame on them. Kudo’s to your son for being honest.
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I wouldn’t let my son or daughter be alone with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I’d be okay with them going to their house. If I found out my kids were unsupervised I’d also be furious. All it takes is one lie to ruin someone’s life.
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If you don’t want them unsupervised, let her come over and supervise. Don’t be angry at how other ppl parent. They aren’t 9, they’re 14 and at that age will find a way no matter what if they really want to.
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My mom NEVER allowed me to date it was forbidden so I snuck around to do what I wanted, meaning I was unsupervised, and ended up becoming a mother at 15. Maybe let them hangout at your house so you know they are safe. Have the talk with your son.
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Your kid is going to lie to ypu from.now onand youll never have an honest open relationship. Enjoy
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Wow you are out in the left field. Your being irrational. Your going to create a big problem between you and your son.
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Young people and hormones can be volatile
You have valid reasons, people’s lives have been ruined because of harmless things like this. Years ago I would have said don’t worry about it but it’s different these days. If she did lie then it would be her word against his but the damage will have already been done. There are way too many toxic influences over sexualising kids these days, I can sympathise. Regardless the parents lied to you. You’re his mum. I would have a rule that socialising happens at yours instead but understand your why you wouldn’t want anything to do with the family.
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I say let her come visit him at your house were you can keep your eyes on them cause if you tell him he can’t see her he will sneak around to see her any way
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hes 14. give him some space, the more you pressure and let him not be involved the more sneaky he will become so he can be.
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The more you try to keep him from her the more you just run him to her
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Stick to your guns Momma - if the mother lies - that’s the behavior she is demonstrating to her child - so as the old saying - nut doesn’t fall far from the tree. This girl and her parents are Trouble - but on the flip side of the coin - if forbid him from seeing her he may go behind your back -
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Your the parent! Nobody’s a perfect parent and nobodys gonna have the correct answers on how to “parent” properly. If you feel its wrong, thenput your foot down. But if hes gonna start trying grown up things, maybe its time to start having grown up talks. Risks and Responsibility. Good luck!
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Se thing happened with my son next thing I know they tell me she’s pregnant not right off either 4 months later they kept it a secret…I was pissed…not ok at all my son is 16 and she was 14
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One of the best things I did as a mother, was allow my son to have band practice at my house. So there was always teenagers at my house. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I got to know every one of his friends and girlfriends very well. I was lucky. They were all great kids. The one place you have control, take it, is at your home. Invite her over.
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In my opinion you’re being totally ridiculous their 14 years old you should be glad they’re telling you everything they’re doing and they are chaperone there’s adults in the house and beg warp they took a TV into a basement to watch TV I’m sure that adults and children don’t like to watch the same things At least it was in her bedroom All you’re going to do is make them sneak around they’re being honest with you up your 14 years old Let them enjoy this summer they’re not doing drugs they’re going to a pool and watching TV sounds to me like you don’t trust anybody and you sure don’t trust your son at all or else you would trust him to watch TV and go to a pool I think your portion him to make him do things and behind your back you do whatever you want but He sounds like a good kid and so does she hey
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I would call the Mother and tell her you don’t appreciate being lied to, she is no more mature than her 14 year old daughter.
I would most def take this up with your son!! If he knows it’s NOT aloud, he shouldn’t be doing it or face the punishment you give him! As 4 her parents, I’d b asking them if she’s on birth control??? U all should know n b aware of the situation with teenagers n teenage pregnancy. Please make it a priority
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Bro they’re 14 
chill out. They’re probably freshmen in high school, let him live. You wanna chaperone his wedding too? I mean that’s if you allow him to get married one day right?
That’s how you get sneaky lying kids. Because they’re gonna wanna do it even more because you’re being overbearing and entirely too “protective” for no reason.
If it’s sex you’re worried about, you should instead, instill knowledge of how human bodies and the reproductive system works to avoid infections, diseases and pregnancy and help help understand so he can take precautions, IF and WHEN him and a girl are ready to take that next step, and of course when mutual consent is present. Not completely shelter your child and keep him ignorant, which I guarantee you he probably knows a lot more than you think he does.
It might be your child, but you don’t get to control his every move and function, it’s ridiculous and wrong. He’s his own person and he’s more than old enough and capable enough to make his own decisions and think for himself. He’s 14 for god sake. He’s gonna do what he wants regardless, just you won’t know about any of it because you’re too obsessive and controlling to communicate and form that connection with your son. So you’ll miss out on a lot of his life because he will more than likely grow distant from you, rebel and hide shit.
I said what I said.
They’re growing up way too fast nowadays and it’d make more sense to warn him of unwanted pregnancies than kick at them being together unchaperoned.
Look it they are going to do something then they will find a way at least they are asking for permission regardless of you sounding too phycso
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Good mama, that mama done messed up, she knew what you didn’t allow for your son, it’s not about trust cause he’s only 14, he’s green around the ears, remember they are so young and things do happen, cool off mama n next time she calls you, let her know what you know and keep your boy away, if mama broke trust, girl will also cause that’s what she is learning, she young too! Keep your word mama your doing just fine!!!
If they want to do something they’re going to do it regardless of all the preventive measures your doing. Sounds to me personally like you’re being super overbearing and all that’s going to cause is a child lying and sneaking around.
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You have every right to feel like you do!!! Can’t be too careful with teenagers morals these days with all the craziness in movies, TV, and games!!
Grow up and give some respect to your kid.
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And that’s how I ended up pregnant at 14……yea you do you momma…be the parent cause 14 is NOT MATURE
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Unfortunately, that’s reality.
If the are going “ to do something “ you won’t be able to stop it. They will find a way… a little trust goes a long way….
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Lol a parent like you is the reason I had done what I did in my life. Jesus Christ, this is absolutely controlling. Talk to your kid, its not hard and it fosters a better relationship.
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Kinda too clingy for me. Let him have SOME freedom
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Thank you for trying to be a responsible parent, we need more parents interested in what is going on with their kids sorry the other mom wasn’t doing her job
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Back off and stop being so over bearing and controlling. That is how you will lose your son
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Seems just a bit over the top, I was 14 and had a boyfriend and my mom trusted me to be alone with him.
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Wow! Ease up and give him room to breathe. I think you are being a little overbearing and are just asking for the boy to rebel.
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As long as there is a parent there I would be ok with it but I would want them being checked on regularly. If they wanna do something they are going to find a way wetheryou want them to or not. Maybe give him a little trust or he will rebel like i did when i was a teen. But that was so wrong of the other mother when you specifically told her you didn’t want that to happen and she lied to your face. I would be pissed too.
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He will resent you in all sorts of ways. A little freedom and trust will do wonders on a mother son relationship. I have 4 grown children and I trusted the choices they would be making when not with me. We had very open relationship with each other and they knew they could ask me anything. What you are doing is going to create a distance between the two of you.
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Don’t you think your boy owed your trust? I honestly think you can act like you do if he broke it…not for being honest with you. He WILL do everything behind your back end never share his stories because of how you react. I understand you are trying to be a responsible parent, but remember that your boy is still the boy whom grew up under your roof. Believe in him.
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It’s a different time and different world. No matter what people say, you do what you think is best for your child.
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I think you have trust issues which will make things worse in the end. He could rebel. If you taught him right from wrong but you can’t trust him then sounds like you have trust issues. What were you doing at his age
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Protect your kid how you see fit. 14 is way to young.
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Protection is important
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Buy condoms. I’m not even kidding. I lost mine at that age and so did my siblings. You can’t control him all the time, but you can have the talk and make sure he is prepared. Chances are he won’t tell you when he’s ready, so be smart and make sure he has protection. As far as being alone in the basement. Girl, I had no problem having sex I’m awkward positions without my parents knowing. The basement is a whole separate floor. That would be a hard pass for me. The problem though is that if you make a big deal or call the mom you’re going to cause your child not to tell you things. At this point point you ha e to let it go. He was honest. That’s the most important thing. If you act wrong on this he won’t be in the future. I wouldn’t prevent him from going either. You don’t want to make yourself the problem for his relationships. I would however start inviting her over more but don’t be overbearing. Try to keep activity going and engage with her in a nice way. If you don’t they won’t want to hang out at your house because they will feel like they’re being babysat
To all the people saying “give the boy some space, you should trust him!”
Clearly y’all have forgotten what it’s like to be a love crazy young kid alone with a girl for some of your first times.
This is why you’re hearing more and more stories of kids losing their “innocence” at younger and younger ages.
If you think your child isn’t out there doing stuff unsupervised or “oh not my kid I trust him fully” then boy y’all are in for a ride. Yes, they are.
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That’s your son… period. You set rules for a reason…no matter what era we’re in. You are raising him with morals and to have respect. Not only for himself but for the young lady as well. Her mother should have not lied to you. How would she feel if the roles were reversed. That right there shoots red flags. Especially raising a daughter and basically lying just so two 14 yr old can be alone together, what kind of message is she sending her daughter?! The trust isn’t with your son, it’s with him being around other kids that you don’t know very well. Peer pressure is a mofo. You’re doing the right thing.
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I completely agree mama. I would wait until a call came again and then plainly and clearly tell them he will not be coming over again and exactly why. I’m hoping your communication with him is good, because explaining why will be important to keeping your relationship with him intact. He should also know that their lying to you is not to be tolerated. Ask my teens what’s the one thing mom don’t play at and they’ll both tell you lying. Because if you lie about one thing what else will you lie about? And the fact that those parents lied to you makes me wonder what example they set for their daughter. Is she a liar also? And that goes directly to your question of if they were alone, it’s possible she says he did something they didn’t and accuse him if they were to break up. Teen girls can be vindictive when their hearts are “broken”. And no, no 14 year old are “dating” or have boyfriends or girlfriends in our house. When they have a J.O.B. and a C.A.R. then we’ll talk.
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Protect him in a world trying to sexualize kids as young as 1. 14 is very young to be left alone and the fact the mother didn’t respect your wishes and lied makes me concerned about the kind of girl she’s raising. I would be open and honest with your son about why and how he is honest but her mother flat out lied and let him know he doesn’t need to be in a household like that alone. I’m not a fan of that young ladies mom.
Your son your rules.
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AND you use a lot of big words properly but say “an” instead of “and” persistently. It’s not cute and as a grown woman it just ruffles my feathers when ever I see something like this in print. You can bet your booties that the kids were being monitored. After all she IS her daddy’s little girl.
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So you don’t trust your son…? Is that the moral of the story? 
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He came home and told you he was downstairs watching TV with his gf? Sounds to me like he earned from freedom for the honesty
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Young Boys end up in bad situations and end up with a swx offender record. Girls at that age are more mature and are often the aggressor. You have every right to protect your son. Those parents are negligent and not to be trusted.
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Your kid your rule get that. However he seems honest he could have lied to you. Maybe the girls parents realised he was decent genuine young man and thought they’d be okay. Which they were? He sounds responsible and honest x
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Maybe you should try to get to know your son better and trust him abit more.
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Do what you feel is best. We have way different opinions on this but you are his mother and your rules should be respected.
He was probably getting a wristy while watching Lord of the Rings, what’s the big deal?
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Oh you have every, , reason to be mad, as hell, I trusted my daughter that I brought her up Properly, well, she got pregnant at 13, it is not a place where if you love your child to be put into that position, of deciding, if the baby should live or die. As her life she says was destroyed and she blames me for that, as she said she just wanted someone to magic it all away. Kids want to grow up too quickly, and they reality is too much for them to cope with, !!. They really must not trust the too easily, a child is for life, not like a dog that can be removed many many times. But a baby will change everyone’s life. Believe me I love the child that was born, but destroyed my plans I had.
Cut the apron strings, woman. They can literally get it in ANYWHERE, even with adults around. I would know. LOL
Sounds like the young man is paying the price of someone else’s mistakes at 14
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Sounds like you have no trust whatsoever in your son ,has he shown an obsession with sex !!!not all kids are sexmad at 14
I personally think you are WAY to overboard.
That being said, not my child. You do what you think is right, for YOUR son. He may end up being resentful though, just fyi.
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Your crazy… Why have u got sex on your mind… 14 year olds day think like u… Keep this control up and he will resent you and end up running away or something… Feel sorry for your son having a mother like u
You have to let him grow up! They don’t need chaperoning all the time, they’re teenagers. If you restrict them too much, they’ll rebel