I’ve read through the comments as well as your post twice. I can honestly say I know how you are feeling mom. A mother of just a son is hard, we see the news and we know hand woman who lies. Not one person has sat here and said I am with you and that’s disturbing to me. We shouldn’t be targeting other moms. We should ask them why they feel this way and say “Hey do you need to talk”?
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You’re psycho. Get up off your kids d*** and give him some breathing room. If I were your kids, I’d take every opportunity to lie to you so I could have a tiny amount of freedom. You need to chill.
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I wouldn’t like the lie, but the act itself is pretty innocent. If you clip his wings too soon… he’s going to sneak and not be open with you
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I get that you’re mad she lied but I think there’s other issues here that need unpicking and the lying is minor in comparison 
Don’t listen to the people saying you’re too strict. We’ve seen what girls are capable of. We’ve seen how parents switch up when shit hits the ceiling. As a boy mom of 5 I totally agree with your frustration. I however realized that it’s best my children are in my presence. My children have their friends over and I give them the livingroom. My bedroom is directly over so I can keep an ear out. I wouldn’t say anything to the parents. I would wait for them to call for another day and let them know your son cannot come due to the flat out lies they told you. I would offer for her to come to my home. Let your child be comfortable being at home and they won’t stray or sneak
You are incredibly over reacting and if you keep trying to leash your teen he’s going to abandon you and fuck up. Get a grip on yourself. You are literally teaching your son that you cannot be logical or trusted and that you don’t trust him to make choices.
You are going to ruin your relationship with him.
The more u don’t allow, the more they will sneak around and not tell u the truth. My oldest son (now 19) started dating his gf of almost four yrs when he was 15 and she was 14. I welcomed her w/ open arms into our home as soon as my son wanted her to come over. They were always supervised here. After a while and getting to know her parents, I allowed my son over there to hang out. I had a serious talk w/ both of them about birth control methods. Let’s face it, teens r gonna have sex whether we allow them to or not. Ik many teens who snuck out and were having sex behind their parents’ backs. I’d rather have an open, honest relationship w/ my kids. U have to meet the kids in the middle, that’s all I’m saying. I have three sons and have an open, honest relationship w/ them all. Our kids should be able to come to us parents and talk to us about anything w/out judgment. My kids’ stepmother is like u, runs a very tight ship. Her kids go behind her back and lie to her all the time.
Omg your poor kid. Let him be.
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Wow, your way too much!! Hes 14! Let him be a kid.
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Lighten up
You are going to push him into lying to you. Talk to him and tell him your concerns.
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Honestly i get it and still feel bad for him lol iknw a couple of kids who was sitting in jail cause the girls screamed rape took quite a bit of time and if it wasnt for the text message they sent talkin shit bout how next time they better have things more ready for them and they jus want em to suffer like they did when they walked-shouldnt let a real bitchh walk- it was fckin crazy
It sounds like this is coming from a core issue you yourself need to work through and are passing the issue onto your son. Family therapy……because you absolutely need help in working through this. He is never going to talk to you and lying is going to get worse if you continue to parent this way.
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Just let him be. You should trust your son. Your over reacting.
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If Him and Her wants to do something they will find a way no matter how you chaperon them. In a park behind the bleachers at a game lighten up let him grow. Tell him what you expect of him and leave it be because doing what you are doing makes him want to do it more. Thats life.
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I can’t believe that mother does not care about her daughter I bet she already has her on birth control so sad. You are an awesome mother for caring for your sons purity. I have 3 boys and pray they wait until marriage. I think you should not let him go over any more just have
them go to your house for and hour or so and watch a movie since you will supervise them or to the park somewhere public. Obviously her mom does not care let her mom know that from now on they will be only at your house under your supervision. Also talk to your son and let him know why. I also believe they are to young to be dating if he can have a girlfriend he can clean,cook,wash and maybe even get a job.
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As a mom with a 14 ur old son, he’s going to do whatever he wants when he sees her at school, I’d be mad about them lying but if you don’t trust your kids judgement on picking his gf , then you don’t trust your kid , get to know the girl so you don’t sound kind of jealous also
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Well shows how much you trust your son. Look all you are going to do is make him start sneaking behind your back to see her. Or another girl. If you and his father have not had a talk about sex and the responsibility that goes along with being sexually active ( and by the way. Just because you have that talk does not mean you are giving him your blessing to be sexually active) doesn’t sound like it. Your son is growing up and you need to stop blocking his path. Doesn’t mean you will no longer be there to guide and supervise. If you continue to make all his decisions for him he will not be very good at his critical thinking skills and feel comfortable and confident enough to say to a girl. Hey I really like you but we are gonna set some boundaries here now. And that shows great leadership skill and potential good husband /father skills in the future. Give some space to learn how to handle these situations. But give him all the correct information he needs to make the right decision
I don’t swear but to this I’m going to spoil my manners, for fucks sake woman we are living in the 21st Century not the 17/18th Century, let your son have a life what are you afraid of that he might see you in a different light from other people and he doesn’t like what he sees or are you judging him on the morals you and his father had as 14 year olds, if you have these rigid rules then he will most probably go behind your back and do things that you would object too, so please give him a bit of space to enjoy his life, give him the respect he deserves to know right from wrong
I’m with you I would be pissed not only live it dangerous to leave to 14-year-olds in the room for hours I raise five boys hell no
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Lady. You need to have a more open line of communication. You’re smothering your teenager. He’s not a kid anymore. He can drive next year! When I was 14 my parents were hella strict and never let me even hang out with my boyfriends. I still blew one of them in a back corridor in school one morning. Teens are gonna find a way to do what they are going to do.
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My son got girlfriend pregnant in her parents basement which was allowed by her mother at 16 yrs old
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At 14, my parents were super strict. My mom was 16 when she had me, so I understand. Even back then I understood. However, they let my boyfriend and I hang out at each other’s houses as long as they met the boys parents face to face and chatted a couple times. As a mom of a boy and a girl, I would worry your attitude towards this is a bit much. I would be upset the parents lied. Instead of letting him go there, let the girlfriend come to your house. Get to know her and your son when they are around each other. Smothering your son and cutting off open communication will keep him from coming to you when he needs to as he gets older. It could also negatively affect his future relationships as well. 
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As a boy mom Ik exactly what you’re trying to prevent but let me tell you this you will not prevent anything what’s meant to happen will happen & well he’s at the age where he needs some freedom you need to allow him to do things & if you’re so worried about him having sex talk to him cause Ik that’s exactly what you’re trying to avoid happening here but as scary as it is you need to trust your son talk to him & give him space he is a teenager & you might create some anger giving him such little space or time to do things it’s not like he’s out with a bad group of people or doing anything bad I mean seriously talk to him see where his minds at but you have to give him some freedom cause one way or another he will find a way to see his gf whether you like it or not & you might create a rebel so be careful
Remember it’s the parents who lied to you not your son or his girlfriend. Leave them out of it. They shouldn’t be punished for this. Talk to the girls parents tell them how uncomfortable not only the situation but the lie made you. You guys are the adults set boundaries you can agree on and let the kids know about them. But dont separate the kids because you as adults caused an issue.
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Overly strict parents create rebellious teens. You’re showing zero trust in your kid and creating an environment where he has to lie just to do normal teenage things. Rebellious teens are far worse than having open dialogue about boundaries and communication of expectations. Coming from a former rebellious teen. I had parents like you and it caused me to act out and go 100x harder than I would have if they just trusted me. I still resent them at times because it made boys taboo and it still affects me as an adult. But your kid, your choice. Just speaking from experience because I was a wild child once I got a taste of freedom.
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Wow.
Mama is trying to push a boulder uphill and wondering why she is being steamrolled. 
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Wow, you are totally over reacting
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You need to cut the apron strings and let the boy grow up.
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Wow your just going to make it where they sneak around I would rather have trust I always have the friends and girlfriends over and get to know his friends he’s 14 he’s just going to lie and sneak around
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Smothering your kid is the real issue here. I get not wanting them alone in the basement, that’s completely understandable. But you’re saying that they can’t even go to each other’s house? You need to lighten up a little bit or he’s going to go buck wild. Nothing wrong with setting boundaries but you are going way too far. The more you push the further he is going to stray away from you.
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My parents were super strict and so was my daughters dads well guess what that didn’t stop us from having alone time if anything it pushed us to keep trying bc we was being smothered I was 15 when we met and by 16 I was pregnant. Communicate with your son bc I wished mine communicated with me and actually trusted me instead of smothering me and saying they trust me but acting a different way, actions speak louder than words. If you smother them they are either gonna rebel or hate you or both and trying to keep them apart is only gonna make things worse on you. Get to know his girlfriend and their relationship and when you think it’s becoming serious talk with your son and his gf or just him. Give him the same respect you would’ve wanted mama.
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No you are not overreacting.
I say stick to you rules. The mall, movies, excetra. I let up on my rules because I was told I was being a helicopter mom. Well… my sons daughter was at his high school graduation. Just saying! You do what you feel is right for your family.
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I see you point. I would be mad about an adult lying but your 14 year old knows the rules and could have stood his ground, but you also have to let a young adult learn and live gotta trust your kid to make correct decisions if your worried about sex well they will do it no matter what how about having a conversation about how to be safe I’m not saying they should be having sex but if they want to they will do make sure your son understands how to be safe and a good partner and pray they they teach their daughter the same.
Stick to your principals! Your sons whole future depends on you !
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I understand why especially this day in age.
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That last line is super important
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For everyone saying you decide his future it depends all on you eh yes and no as a parent it’s your job to let your child learn on their own and you be guidance and help them make correct informed decisions. My parents didn’t and don’t control my future I’m my own person not an extension of my parents. And before the question is asked without my parents breathing down my back every second of my life I graduated with an A in all my subject and got into a great collage and didn’t have my child at any of it I made smart choices because my parents knew if we wanted to we would do what we wanted so I had the material to learn for myself and open communication With my family it doesn’t work for everyone but the kid is 14 soon he can drive and then will be in the real world so let them learn and make the mistakes now when you can help them instead of when they are on their own.
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I’m surprised ur teen tells u anything with the overbearingness… wow… give ur kid some slack he’ll prove u wrong
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Parents lying to other parents… but yeah let’s trust young teens to do the right thing! A parent is suppose to do what they need to do to make sure their children are going to do their best in making the right choices in life. By saying your child isn’t going to tell you anything or they are gonna sneak out and do it anyway so just let them do it… thats the problem. Just cause they will do what they wanna do… doesn’t mean you should let them! I respected my parents, because I had rules… those rules showed me they cared about me and wanted me safe. If I went against them, I faced the consequence!
No rules, No respect! Those parents should be ashamed of themselves!
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What this suggesting that you don’t trust your child!! Let them visit with each other at each other’s houses otherwise they will sneak out to see each other!! AND educate your kid on birth control!! These kids are very smart these days and know more than what you think they do!! Give him expectations and responsibilities….
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Im so very glad i never lived with you for a mother. Yes, you are way over reacting. I watched TV unsupervised. Did a lot of things unsupervised. Didnt get pregnant til i was 23. You are pushing it.
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In 4 years he’ll be a legal adult, you should probably back off and let him come into his own…
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I’m pretty sure they’re already having sex if he has a girlfriend. If that’s what’s really worrying you. And yes you are completely overreacting. Teenagers are going to find ways to do what they do. You need to trust you raised a good son and even then those hormones will drive them. Just explain to him about protected sex.
You are going to push your son away.
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If you don’t want them unsupervised, why don’t you just have her over at your house? Then you can know what’s going on.
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This is borderline psycho. Yes, you are 100% the asshole.
Your child is 14. I think your rule of no home visits is appropriate. And I too would be mad if a another parent lied to me. At that age, puic venues are good enough.
As parents we need to have rules and standards. We are not their friends. We are parents and out role is to guide. Trust your kids all you want, but they are kids and make mistakes. Even the trustworthy-est kid does dumb stuff sometimes.
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Discreetly put condoms in his bedroom.
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I would have flipped out! That lying -itch would be getting a phone call from me!
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Overprotective parents create sneaky children.
Teach him rules, boundaries & consequences & put some trust in his own decision making skills before you make him sneaky.
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I agree. These days you don’t know what a parent is teaching their kids. Your kid, your rules. Period.
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I would be furious, you’re right I would call and let her know that she lied to you! It’s hard enough raising teenagers!
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His 14 let him have a little move to breathe my mom let me go over to friends house at 14 here I am at 20 and my little sister is 13 my mom one rule was always tell me the truth no matter what and to be home by a certain time
You’ll push him away if you not careful
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teenagers will find a way to do what they want. you can’t keep them from being with each other
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Either you trust your son or you don’t. At 14 I started giving both my sons a bit of wiggle room. Parents must find the right balance between trust and supervision. It can’t be complete totalitarianism. That generally sends them down the path of lies and deceit. If he’s proven you can trust him then give him some room to try his wings. If he disappoints you then deal with it. Completely controlling every aspect of their lives as they enter the teen years usually ends badly. How will he ever learn to function apart from you if you don’t allow him room to prove he can be trusted? Not giving him the chance just shows him he’s not worthy of your trust. It makes him feel terrible about himself. Can’t imagine that’s your intent but it’s the impression that he’ll have. Have some confidence in him and see where it goes.
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It doesn’t matter how any of us feel about how you raise your child as long as they aren’t being abused and they’re fed. That being said it’s never excusable to lie to a parent about their child.
YEP! Your kid, your rules!!! No means no and that goes for her parents to!
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You are correct for being upset. Don’t let him go again and when the parent call again tell them off for lying.
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In my opinion you’re being overly protective and not letting him do normal teenage things and most people learn from experience. If my parents were overprotective and strict I honestly would have just found any way around it and wouldn’t tell them anything. but if they let me experience my own things and learn some things for myself that’s when I trusted and felt comfortable to tell what I do and be open but with overly strict parents you don’t feel comfortable to be open you don’t even have room to breathe or have fun which I feel like will just push him away… you just have to have some trust in him
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Yeah, have them at your house. Don’t let him go back over there.
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Teenagers will always find a way, no matter what. Just relax and let him breathe….
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Easy solution for now on you chaperone all dates either in public and even at your house. I wouldn’t cause a fight with the GFS parents because it will only cause your son and his gf to fight and your child will get mad at you!!! Your child could get so mad that he starts to sneak around since you are making it perfectly clear that u don’t trust him anyways. Wild idea invite her and her parents over for dinner even with 4 adults in the house it should be very hard for them to do anything inappropriate 
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It’s not so much you being over protective or not the girls mom flat out lied and I bet money wasn’t at the pool party. Sorry my child would not go anywhere with that set of parents again.
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In today’s world, with young men going to prison and filing for the rest of their lives as sex offenders…you have EVERY right to be mad!!! Especially since dumb mother called and gripped about your son being alone with their daughter!
Yeah, I would be upset about being lied to, but also…maybe the mother was checking on them throughout the whole time he was there? Maybe she didn’t realize you wanted eyes on him the entire time he was there? I don’t think most parents have the same mindset you’re presenting here so she probably truly didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Not attacking, just saying that you’re not going to make it through the teenage years constantly worrying about him being alone with a girl and her lying about him doing something. I get it, I have a boil and stepson full time. And I particularly worry about my stepson more with this kind of thing bc of his boundary issues. But we all know how things usually turn out with a very over protective parent who says no to everything. Also, you should be more upset with your son if he knew what you expected and did otherwise. But also, that’s going to be expected, especially if you say no to everything. I would have said yes to a group of kids getting together over just the 2 alone to begin with. I’m actually a little impressed by your son for telling you the truth though. He could have lied and said they watched tv where expected and not had to deal with any of this. Which is exactly what he’ll do next time if you blow this completely out of proportion. Because he sees it as no harm done and you blowing up over nothing. We have to remember how kids think and what we’re teaching them by our response when they tell us the truth. Don’t shut him down completely to telling you the truth in the future. I would think hard how you truly want to respond to this and not do anything while you’re still so angry.
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As a mom whose raised her kids let me give you some advice. The tighter the reins the more sneaky they become. Keep lines of communication open. Remember when you forbid something to a teenager or child they will try to get away with it. Give some room snd ask questions. I’d be pissed at the parents but I’d call them and say I’d love to be able to trust you enough to allow my son to hang out with your daughter. I’ve got rules in place and I’d appreciate it if you can respect that.
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Let it go. Just don’t let him go back over there. Let the girlfriend come to your house where you KNOW they will be chaperoned
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Helicopter parenting is real here let your kid experience life!
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Sorry dear but at 14 these days you’re probably locking the barn door too late as they say. If you raised him with your values do you not trust him to live up to them? I think the real problem is your lack of trust. So hang on dear at 14 the fun is just beginning you have so much more to look forward to.
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He will find a way to do it if he really wants to anyways. Trying to avoid it will just make him hide and sneak it without you knowing.
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Is he honest and trustworthy? Can he trust you with his thoughts and deeds? Gradually increase freedoms based on his responsible behavior. You are right to monitor his comings and goings for a few more years. Don’t hover. Don’t smother.
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I can see you are upset but you should not
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Everyone coming down on this mom for being mom are the first to ask where the parents were when someone else’s child becomes a 14 yr old parent
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Chaparoned is a funny word 
it sounds like you’re in a strict religious cult
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Good luck when he turns 18 and avoids you completely for the rest of your life lmao, this type of stuff just makes a resentful child who sneaks around, what are you gunna do when he can drive himself to a girl’s house in a few years??
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I don’t get why you let him go to the pool party in the first place if you didn’t like the idea of your kid going over:/
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I am going to say that I made the same mistake as you did. I was very wrong bc now you can probably imagine what he has done. ( for the very first time) I am very disappointed.
He was taught about everything from me. His father is non existent in his life so that means I have to have all the serious conversations. My son is very intelligent but when he is around this “little girl” his common sense seems to go out of the window.
Now I am working on him getting out of this girls life bc she isn’t best for him to be with for that reason amongst many others. Good luck with your situation and just know that no matter what , your sons gf parents lied to you to start off with and no matter how you choose to respond to that it isn’t going to change. They will always make it easy for them to do “whatever”
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I thought you were sounding very overbearing at first, but that last line is what convinced me otherwise. I have a son and I know how easy it is for girls to lie about boys and ruin their lives over it. I would be wanting to protect my son from that as well. My suggestion would be to allow them to hang out together at your house so you can see who this girl is what she’s about while also coming off as an accepting and supportive mom for your son.
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I would be angry with the girl’s parents! They straight out lied. But I would sit down with my son and explain why I felt the way That I do! Being honest with him first sets the stage!
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WOWWWW! For your son’s sake please cut the cord, you sound toxic!
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Im with you. Id never let my son,when have one,go over to a girl’s house. Good way to become a teen parent early. Just like I’d never let either of my daughter’s go to a boyfriend’s house. However…i would let them come over to my house as long as they stayed in the living room on the couch…playing games or watching movies. They would be well supervised with me around. You should let him come over to your house with her instead…as her parents have shown lack of responsibility. Yout son keeps going over there…next thing you know he is having to go to work to pay child support at a young age bc her parent’s dont give a damn enough about their kid to supervise them.
Girl I was pregnant at 14 and had him at 15 … my mom didn’t let boys stay … I wasn’t aloud to stay at boys houses … the better idea is teach your kid about contraception… if he’s gonna do stuff he’s gonna do it no matter if its at hers or in a Bush lol
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Over protected much?? !!keeping the strings to tight can lead to more trouble than good. Do you have trust in your children? Or the kids they hangout with?
You are seriously overreacting so hard. If you keep this up you’ll only push your son away. There was nothing wrong with it and honestly, to the other family they probably thought that they were making sure they were supervised. You can supervise children without literally following them around everywhere. Especially kids that are older like that. It’d be different if they were left all alone in the house no parents at all, but parents where there in the house.
Ok… that’s a lot! Do I think you’re overreacting? Yeah but I kinda get it based especially on the last point. An accusation can ruin a kid’s life if it’s not true. But he’s going to need to learn how to conduct himself and hopefully you have been teaching him throughout his life.
The problem with being so restrictive is that he’s going to see her (or someone else) anyway. You don’t really want him sneaking around or lying to you about where he is or who he’s with so it’s really important to build the trust while he’s young.
Personally, I would WANT her to come over. I would want to get to know her, let her get to know you. Keep the ground rules simple- maybe have dinner, watch a movie TOGETHER, don’t hover but do things together. Be welcoming.
Five kids- I ALWAYS wanted to know their friends (male, female, boyfriend/girlfriend) and I wanted them to know me. I wanted them to know that if they got into trouble (of any kind) that they could turn to me because I believe it’s better than them trying to “fix” it on their own.
I completely understand your concerns but I DO think there’s a middle ground between being too permissive and too restrictive
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Don’t let him go over again no matter what and for now on if he wants to continue to see her you will need to ne the one to chaperone. Wait until she calls then confront her, and let her know this will not happen again or the only time they will see each other is at school.
You will loose that battle mumma if you hang on too tight…
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If my parents were like you I probably would’ve been pregnant at 14…my parents were not controlling and had open honest communication with me…I was the child who got into the least amount of trouble because I knew my parents trusted me to make good decisions on my own
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I’d just not let him go back over. Starting a feed with his parents is not the answer. They have their own perspectives about raising teens and yours.
Lol maaaaannn your toxic as shit 
that boy us going to high tail it so fast when he turns 18.
I would too with a mom like you. Yeesh.
Loosen the reigns abit damn lol
Teach your son how to be safe about it all and let it be
I agree 14 is to young for gf and bf to be left alone. My Mom had me at 15 and was very difficult. You are not overactive you are being a responsible Mother. I also have a friend who let her 13 yr old boy go to his gf house and when some inappropriate touching went on she spread through the school he sexually assaulted her. These kids are to young for this!
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Don’t allow him to go back to her home.
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absolutely ridiculous!!! Yes you are being extreme and out right dumb on this. That kid is going to run away! You are being a toxic parent and doing him more harm than good. Poor kid.
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You can’t keep him in a bubble forever. He will start sneaking around.
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You know your a toxic mom when you start sniffing your teenage sons underwear for evidence. 
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wow mama … chill … you keep him from doing what he wants too do… eventually hes going too sneak out and do it anyway…
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I would understand at 12. But 14? You’re way way over reacting. So much so if it continues it will def come back to haunt you. These are exactly the things a 14yo SHOULD BE DOING. If not, they might be more into drugs etc etc. Be thankful this is what he’s after!!