Do I have a right to be mad that my boyfriend went to a bar where someone he slept with is the bartender?

There are plenty of bars in the sea.

Personally, I find that extremely disrespectful, especially if he knew about her blocking you and being mad about you, it sounds like he intentionally excluded you, went to the bar that she was working at on the night she was there. Sounds suspect to me. But there are a lot of unknowns here also. Did he frequent the bar before she worked there or only after she worked there? Has he given you any reason to not trust him before?

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Sounds like you don’t trust him. Why you wasting his time if you don’t trust him ?

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More info…
Did u address it with him?
Did he go alone or with friends?
Is every timr he goes only on her night?
Has he invited you?

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Lol, if that’s how you are thinking… this relationship is probably already doomed

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He would not be my boy friend any more.

I wouldn’t care if you trust him so what

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Why would you be unless it was planned with her that he’d come see her in secret?

If you have expressed to him that you do not like that he goes to that bar whenever she is there then you have every right to be upset. He is disrespecting you and not cool.

But if you haven’t then def talk to him about it
Then you’ll know how serious he takes you by the way he reacts to this

If he’s going to fuck that girl he’s going to do it whether he goes to the bar she works at or not

I think it’s weird that either of you know her work schedule tbh

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That relationship sounds exhausting

Maneeee id leave that relationship so fast

She is tending bar, not banging the customers during work.

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It’s not like she gonna throw him down and ride him on the bar. You either trust him or you don’t. And if you don’t trust him then leave the relationship because it’s never going to work.

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To me it would be common courtesy AND common sense not to go to that specific bar…id be upset too.

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She’s working not like she’s there hanging out with just him and little odd u don’t know her but know she was working and what days she is and isn’t

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Unreasonable, no. As petty as it seems, this would bother me too. It would certainly sting. I don’t care what anyone says, this would bother ANY woman. Whoever claims this wouldn’t secretly piss them off them is just lying or full of shit lol. This to me is immature on his part, high school bullshit behavior. Any mature man who respects you just wouldn’t do that. The drama wouldn’t be worth it. Plain & simple. Go to another bar or at the very least go on another night that she isn’t working. Or, if he was invited there by other people & couldn’t pick the bar, he could’ve invited you along. Just here to say that your feelings are valid & don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. :woman_shrugging:t2: I would have a talk with him and tell him how it made you feel, if he laughs and gaslights you, ditch him. If he genuinely sees your point and respects your feelings & point of view, great. There’s room for growth. :heart:

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Throw the boyfriend and all of that drama away. They aren’t worth it.

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Yea I would just show up there too.

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Who was he going to meet? Was he going to see her, or meeting one of his buddies and she just happened to be there? :woman_shrugging:t2: I think the reason he went there would determine how I felt about it.

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I mean I wouldn’t be upset if my bf went to his exes bar…. Then again I trust him. Sounds like y’all need to build trust, because you definitely don’t have a relationship at this point.

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This is a joke right im not getting the issue. She works in a bar so now he cant go to that bar anymore thats crazy. Leave him now because you dont trust him at all. So i guess if she change jobs and started working at wal mart or something he couldnt go to any stores. He needs to move on and find someone that trust and loves him the way he should be. Most likely he didnt even know she was working that night or that she worked at that bar. What did you think they both are going out back fking.

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I would check out the bar scene more.

Sounds like you shoud definitely marry him and pop out some of his kids.

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Welcome to q small town lol

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Hell yes you have a right to be mad!! 1.Why the fuck he knows her schedule? 2.Why does he talk with people he slept with before? Aren’t ya’ll a serious relationship and if so he should fucking know better than to do what he’s doing. 3. They are hiding something for sure, I would be pissed the fuck off, so 🤷 fuck’em, move on from them both, they are for sure, playing you.

I was all “nah sis” until I got to the part that she blocked you on everything.

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I’d be angry he went to a bar at all, but yes I think you have reason to feel uneasy about the situation. If he keeps going back knowing it bothers you, he’s showing he doesn’t care about your feelings and if I were you I’d end things.

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He chose you. Could have chosen her clearly but he chose you.

I would voice my feelings on that and be truthful of why you don’t want him going to that bar. If he doesn’t want to except the truth and insists on going to that bar then you know what he thinks of your relationship. Act accordingly dear.

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Absolutely! Very disrespectful!

Just talk to him about it communication is key in a relationship. Explain why it makes you feel that sorta way

Out of respect for my significant other, I would never go to a bar where I slept with the bartender. Especially if there are other places to go. Unless I was looking for that person’s attention or wanted them to see me.

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Nah leave massive red flag

somethings definitely not right here. why would he continue to go there especially nights she’s there . seems like he’s not telling you some things .

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I would not be comfortable with that. I would be suspicious because drinking changes mindset.

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tell him find another bar or find another gf… he’s only adding fuel to the fire

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I would not be comfortable with that either! Telkl him what you feel and see what he says or does! That should help you to decide what to do about this!

I’d be wondering if my man is still sleeping with her.I mean why is he still going to the bar she works at?..let alone the exact nights she works.I think that’s completely not right,ESPECIALLY if he isn’t taking you with him.I mean he knows she’s blocked you on FB…If your man cared a little bit about your feelings,he’d take you with him when going to the bar to visit his Fck Buddy. I think you need to care a little bit about YOU…and get rid of the garbage weighing you down…

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You should go with him

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Yeah you have every right to be upset that he went to there I have a similar thing I was seeing this guy and I got my daughter’s phone one day to use and I found a message where she had sent this guy and told him that I was pathetic didn’t see what he wrote because it was erased but he would get off work and be home at 4:00 where his dad and stepmom lived I would go over there and my daughter would be sitting there with him every time it was 4:00 she would be sitting there when he got off work but yet she had to wash clothes at 4:00 then I found a video of her and him at a motel so yeah there’s no telling what’s going on behind your back when I brought the video up to my daughter she didn’t want to talk about it get all mad puffed up she never has talked about it when I asked her she gets mad he gave me a explanation but I can’t remember what he said so it’s time to start giving him some ultimatums about going when she’s at work to that bar

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Go with or get over it.

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I would be upset but I would also talk to him and explain why it upset you and you guys set boundaries of he can’t respect them after that point then he doesn’t respect you and it’s best to kick him to the curb

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I would plan to go by when he was at the bar. get a friend to go with you. If he’s not messing with his ex yet, he is planning to. You are just a girl friend & he has made you no promises, so I would not trust him!!!

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He’s your boyfriend, not you husband. Have an adult conversation with him. Maybe he goes because she gives him free drinks and he takes advantage of that. That’s a whole different convo to have. But you’re adults, act like it.

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Just because he knew she worked there doesn’t mean he had any intent behind his actions.

There are a hundred reasons he could have gone there. He may not have even thought about it being her night to work.

He probably went there without any intention of cheating or disrespect.

Intention is everything.

Do you trust him? Then that’s all that matters.

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This is odd. Everyone I know including myself usually runs the opposite direction when running into an old fling :expressionless::joy: I would just ask him about it since it’s bothering you.

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You gonna get upset if he goes to Walmart and the cashier is a girl he slept with previously? No? Okay then. Same goes for the bar.

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No…. You know who he is going home with. Do you trust him….

You have a right to be upset. I would be too.

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Fuck that! Go with him!

Oh interesting go grown adults in relationships now completely avoid anyone else that they’ve been in relationships with??

So, differing opinions on this. Some relationships are different than others. Some have limits some are more open. My man did that I’d be mad as fuck, he wouldn’t. That’s how our relationship works. Goes both ways. Is that how your relationship is and would it go both ways? Maybe he doesn’t want limits, but expect that he won’t give you any either and vise versa. Would he be mad? If that’s how you mutually wanna make your relationship that’s how it would be. But it’s a discussion I feel like y’all need to have and if y’all want the same thing then make it that way but if your gonna get upset and he doesn’t care… Then not the relationship for you.

No, that’s her job! She’s not working there just because he goes there​:woman_facepalming:t4::rofl:

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No one can tell you how you are supposed to feel, each one of us would react differently to this exact situation if we were in your shoes… its up to you to express your feelings to your boyfriend… tell him exactly how it makes you feel. If he cares for you and y’all relationship he will respect and validate your feelings and find a different bar to frequent. If he continues to go there knowing how it hurts you… then he has just chosen something over the relationship. Thats when you and only you can make that choice to move on or continue to allow it. :white_heart:

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Get out NOW!!! Believe me,he will never change!!! If not her, it will be someone else, gaurantee it!!!

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You sound like my brother’s toxic girlfriend. She told my brother to take a new road home because his ex lives on the road he normally takes. Talk about controlling.

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Not unreasonable, stupid! He goes on her night…one of you needs to let your boots do the walking.

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No. I wouldn’t care. He obviously didn’t want her in a relationship.

Why can’t you go too?

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What was his intentions

Depends how much you trust your boyfriend. If you don’t trust him, then maybe he is not the man for you.

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Throw him to the curb!

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Did he go there knowing she was working there? If he went and didn’t know and told you about it, it’s different than if he went there specifically to see her.

Catch an arson charge messing with me :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed. was this “friends all wanted to hit up said bar” he follows situation? If he was seeking this chick out, that’s one thing. Please don’t let him going out and about become an issue.

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If he had any respect for you he wouldn’t do that

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Get a new boyfriend and move on…

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There are a ton of bars. Why would he go to that one? Shady.

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Do you trust him? If you can’t trust him, cause that’s what it sounds like, will continue being with him only make you more unhappy in the long run. You know what you should do by answering your questions. My advice, fall in love with someone you can trust 100 percent and you’ll never have to feel like this again. Its unnecessary stress

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be mad that my boyfriend went to a bar where someone he slept with is the bartender?

Not unreasonable. It’s the way you feel, your feelings are valid too. I’d express I wasn’t happy with it. And hope it doesn’t happen again that’s it.

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You have no hard feelings about her yet you’re mad he went to a place where she works? I think you are being unreasonable. Trust is key in a relationship.

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Definitely being unreasonable… can’t avoid places coz someone they may have slept with might be there :roll_eyes: if u don’t trust him… say u don’t trust him…and leave him.

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It depends whether he went alone. Did colleagues suggest it and he went knowing she was there or did he go alone? Alone I’d be worried

Well going into a bar where someone you slept with works….it’s asking for attention in my eyes! As I’d avoid any place an ex worked or person I use to sleep with hence ex and use to they are the past! So unless it was an arranged night and they picked the place then it’s avoidable isn’t it! He prob was sleeping with her, she thought it was more hence why you got blocked as why block someone you don’t know…she prob was fuming and jealous tbf imgine getting into a man n them boom he’s got a new girlfriend you’d be thinking WTF! Get rid of him you’ll always be looking over your shoulder and life’s farrrr to short x

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If you don’t trust him, just admit that and either continue a relationship where you can’t trust your partner or end the relationship. I personally couldn’t be in a relationship where I couldn’t trust someone and at anytime felt the need to question where he was going, with whom, and why.

Getting upset because he went to a bar where someone he used to be with works is a bit of an immature response. I mean if you feel that way, you feel that way. But you might need to do some work on yourself.

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You should only mind if you don’t trust him. And if you really don’t trust him, then whether it’s this girl or another one, you’ll always find someone to worry about :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Yeah you are, if you trust him there shouldnt be a problem. Its a bar and its her job you need to get over it he has a past and probably slept with others. should he stay indoors so he doesnt bump into anyone he may have slept with? You are absolutely being unreasonable

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Tell him to pull his head in. That’s not the only pub in town. And also tell him to fuck her off and not to talk to her. I’m sorry we are women and we know how other women are.

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Babe what you worried about? He’s coming home to you at the end of the night! Who cares who he bumps into on his night out!

Well why else is he going to the bar then :rofl::rofl: it’s not always “she” majority of the time it’s “HE” chasing

If him doing that makes you uncomfortable and he continues to do it then he isn’t respecting your boundaries. Your feelings are ALWAYS valid. If he continues to go after you told him how it makes you feel, find someone who respects you.

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I don’t think I would personally care. I can trust my husband so know he wouldn’t do anything.

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Girl, at the end of the day there could be 4 comments or 400 comments but the only opinion that matters is your own. Everyone is different it’s as simple as that not everyone is gonna agree with anything you say spme will some won’t so you do you and if you can’t stop worrying about it then confront him politely about it, noone can force you to “oh just trust him” cause then you won’t be in a comfortable place, all’s I can say is you just keep doing you :blush:

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Kill him… :joy::joy::joy::joy:
Joking… if you have told him how you feel and he still continues to go there… then he doesn’t respect how you feel above the need to do what he wants… so leave…
Xxxx

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Yes you’re being unreasonable, unless you don’t trust him, and if that’s the case, why are you together? :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be mad that my boyfriend went to a bar where someone he slept with is the bartender?

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Yes you’re being unreasonable. If you don’t trust him, don’t be with him, simple as that.

It sounds like you reached sooooo far out of left field to find something to be pissed at lol.

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unless he’s still sleeping with her, what does it matter? He’s with you now, isn’t he? If he still wanted to be with her, he would be

you have a past. So does he.

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You said yourself there’s tonsss of bars around you two, yet he chooses to go to the bar she works at on the night she’s working? Lol that’s not a coincidence whatsoever. Sounds like he’s playing you and her. Don’t let anyone on this post tell you your feelings are wrong. You can’t control your feelings and your feelings are NEVER wrong! How you act when feeling those feelings, however, is what matters. Do you trust him? Did he tell you he was going before he went? Did he only tell you because you found out? Why didn’t he invite you? Why did he choose to go to the bar alone when you could’ve gone with? Why did he choose the one bar where he was sleeping with the girl directly before being with you, while knowing she is upset he’s with you and she still wants him? This is literally pathetic. (What your bf did.) You deserve better, sister. Love and hugs :yellow_heart:

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I think it’s a bit of an overreaction. If you trust your man don’t worry about her. Plus she’s at work, not like they’re gonna hook up or anything.

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WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED? Want to me to follow him to the bar and scope it out. I’d be “just a nosey girl at the bar”.

Side note: I think this could be a business plan. I accept cashapp or venemo? I will most certainly get to the bottom of things.

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If she’s still into him and she is STILL trying he IS entertaining the flirt… thats the key point! Not that they have a past… its that its a reach for the future… #REDFLAG!

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Its disrespectful honestly.

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I would be pretty upset about that, but that’s because he probably had something he needed to tell her or he needed to see her for some reason. Maybe it’s because he still has feelings or maybe he needed to say that he doesn’t have feelings and she needs to leave him alone. It could be the start of something or it could definitely be the very end of something. You just have to find the right time to get him to open up about it, and definitely let him know you are really upset. If he doesn’t care that you are upset then you need to think about if you want to be with him or not.

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It sounds suspicious to me that he knows the bar she works at the nights she works and that he says there is nothing going on with.her still keeps in contact with her they have no kids together from the sound of things so I would be suspicious also he’s playing u both from the sound of it confront him and tell him how it sounds to.u

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I think you need to deal with your own insecurities love. If you can’t trust him, you shouldn’t be with him.

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I would be upset too. Let him have her. He’s either wanting to rekindle his relationship with her or wants to make you jealous. Either way it’s immature. You can find a man who respects and cares for you. Life is short. You don’t need this misery. Just some advice from a woman who’s been there. Take it or leave it.

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