Okay, I’m torn. I just wanna know if I’m right or wrong. I have been with my husband for going on four years. We have two kids together 1 & 2, and I have two from previous relationships 5 & 8 he has four of earlier relationships 2 with one woman (they are older 21 and 17) and two younger ones with another woman 7 & 8 . when his two younger kids are here every weekend and sometimes through the week if their mom cant keep them due to work are expected to do everything for them watch them if he needs to go somewhere clean the whole house clean up their messes dishes toys, etc., but that’s whats expected of a stay at home mom, so I just did it. But since I’m a stay at home mom, I asked my husband to help me get school clothes for my son because his father isn’t in the picture, and being a stay at home mom, I can’t get the clothes myself. He told me at first that whatever he got for his boys he would get for my son but when it came time, he spent 300 on clothes and lied to me about it and also gave their mom 400 (she makes 6000 a month) and lied to me about that also then told me my son wasn’t his responsibility just because we are married. Am i wrong to feel mad upset and hurt? I mean i wouldnt be so hurt if I didn’t take care of his kids just like my own
Get a job and make him figure out his sons when they come over .
You have every right to be mad also try to get a job when he asks why you want to go to work you tell him because l have to provide for my son
Did he get your son what he needed? It seems YES. It seems you are upset he gave the other woman money.
That is terrible. Get a job and quit doing for his kids if he wants to play that game.
Not to be petty… but if he doesn’t treat your children as his own like you say you do his… he’s an ass… he made the choice to Marry you and that child IS his responsibility now…
As a child who grew up with a step parent… I felt the way he treated us differently from his kids with my mom. Life was awful trying to be loved by a man who was supposed to love us all the same and my mom accepted that. I am 50 and I can tell you I still feel the rejection in my soul. So much so that when it was my turn to give my son a stepfather…you better believe he treated him like the king he is. That’s my take you have to do what sits ok with your spirit. Our kids are ours forever. Good luck.
Nope nope nope. He can’t do for one and not the others. This isn’t a good situation and sounds like it won’t end well.
All I have to say is that is fucked up
Sorry but I would file divorce. He married you as a packaged deal knowing you had children. Those children became his just as his become yours. Nope, not ever gonna play that game.
Get a job, move out, get a divorce, marry a real man.
you’re a package deal , I would get a divorce and just skip all the games if hes gonna have that kind of mentality 
wouldnt touch my soul to leave someone who thinks like that of my kids …
That’s some bullshit right there.
I wouldn’t play these get a job and repay him by not doing work games, I would let him know we are headed for divorce. I would say you could talk to him about it, but he has already made his position toward your child clear. So basically it would be pointless. Also he has lied on mutipule occasions as stated, time to move on.
I’m all for NACHOing - but that is not what is going on here. I think that’s very mean and I can’t imagine my husband doing that. And the lying tells me he knows it’s not right. I agree with the advice to get a job and I suggest you start to NACHO his kids and see if he’s still singing the same tune then. I’m sorry.
People only treat you how you allow them to.
I’d be pissed… when he married you, he married your kids too. If he cannot take care of your kids as his own I’d kick his ass to the curb… your child deserves the same treatment that he gives his own…
Yep he’s awful to do that to you
Sorry but this is not a good position to be in and you should reconsider the entire relationship. Did he feel that way about your son before you got married? and by the way you clean the whole house seems to me like you have children that are old enough to handle some chores with the same applying to his kids
Throw the whole husband out
That’s a terrible thing to say when you take care of his and yours and he is the only one making money, shame on him and I agree with the rest and get a job and have him worry about his kids
Leave the dirty johncrow a do some man stay them love you child to get you then when you have one for them they want to treat the first one differently.
I not playing that with no bwoy . It’s the fastest way for me to hate you.
Blended families are never “blended”, it’s expected. His children will come first just like your children will come first for you. If you don’t believe this, think about who’s children you’d grab first out of a house fire (Dr. Laura’s example). This is what happens when two families come together, I’d do what I can to provide for my own kids so no one can hold it over my head “they wouldn’t have anything if it wasn’t for me”. Let him pay for day care for the kids you have together and take care of your kids that you had before him.
Real pos. He knew you had kids before he married you if he can’t accept your kids as his own hes not worth it.
First of all, damn that’s a lot of kids, lol…His, hers and ours! If they can’t all be treated the same, then there is a problem. You know that. Sadly no one here can make it better for you. I don’t think you’re going to change him. So you need to change your circumstances. You and your children deserve better than that. You know what you need to do. Put your children first. Good luck, you’ve got this!
You are definitely not wrong to be upset!
He is an asshole I would be gone as your son can feel that he doesn’t care about him and that will leave permanent scars on him
Wow he sounds like a right arse and tbh I wouldn’t have a man who can’t accept my children like he would his own and to make such a bold statement he clearly is selfish arrogant pig
That’s very messed up. Either tell him straight up how him doing that made you feel and about the lying and fuck it throw it in his face about you taking care of his kids as your own. If he won’t sympathize or come to an understanding with you then time to leave him and move. Because it’ll keep happening and if you allow it now, as your children get older they will notice how different your husband acts with them and his kids. They might resent you for that…for you staying with someone that doesn’t love them.
You have absolutely every right to be upset because you came with children and he knew that so he has to accept responsibility for them also being your husband now you are a blended family all children should be treated fairly and 100% the same equally between the both of you
Lmao…you look after your children no matter if ur married…never expect ur other to help…even dey should be helping as a husband or wife…
Chileeeee get a job and get tf
You’re not wrong to feel this way. It sounds like there are a lot of kids and your husband might be feeling a lot of pressure to provide for them all, which is understandable. But it’s not right to say that your children aren’t as important as his or to devalue what you do just because you don’t get paid for it
I’d be pissed!! Goes both ways than he can stay home and watch his boys that’s not your responsibility end of story
If your seeking guidance then you know its not right.
He is totally wrong he is not worth of any child its not the kids fault treat them equal and dont lie about it I would take all my kids and run just run dont look back God is good and he well bless u to make it ahead on ur own
Well then his kids ain’t ya fucking responsibility either to be watching feeding and caring for . Simple as that . If he still doing all that for her n more . There something going on. I’d be on some rah rah shit . That’s not right at all in any manner . He’s basically saying fuck your kids . So I’d be saying fuck his. So called grown Men still boys just older don’t know how
To be men. That’s wrong on all levels he be divorced and left n straight took for child support n alimony . For his fuckery
Id remind him HIS kids arent YOUR responsibility and tell him he better find a sitter for tomorrow. You and YOUR kids have plans. Then I’d go see a divorce attorney. Stop this shit before your kids are mentally and emotionally effected by his attitude.
A REAL man doesn’t treat kids the way he does, whether they’re biologically his or not. He knew when he married you that it was a package deal for you both…you with your children, his with his children. You became a blended family once you got together, or at least on your part you are. What’s even more sad is the fact that kids are smarter than we give them credit for, they can sense things more. How awful your son must feel when your husband treats him differently. Shame on your husband! Maybe he needs to go to a sweat or speak to an elder and get his head straight & his heart!! Wishing you luck & strength to overcome this.
Actually by marrying you he did exactly that. The child didnt appear after you both were married, he was clearly aware of the situation your son is in. To say that to you is worse than his own father not being in his life. The man I am with isn’t my child’s father but he gets anything I need for her right now(her dad is in prison). I’ve been unemployed since before the pandemic and dont get the pandemic stipend because I wasnt laid off or had my hours reduced due to the virus. When we go for fast food or to the store to buy food to eat he doesn’t say well I can pay for my food and yours but you’re going to have to figure out hers. (I also don’t qualify for food stamps because I make $6 too much on unemployment go figure🤷♀️ I’m not even married to mine and he’s more than willing to take care of her. He doesn’t have any kids of his own tho.
I’ve been with my bf for 10 months at about 6 i asked my daughters dad to buy her trainers sje needed (he doesn’t pay child support) he refused! I got upset told my bf he told me never to ask him again as Anything she needed he would help provide with too as when he got with me he took her on too!
I would not treat his kids any different they are innocent to his actions. Whether he had any kids or not, if he is with you and loves you he should want to help you and your child(ren). Has he always acted different toward yours or just recently? If I’m with a man my kids are a package deal if he doesn’t agree then he would not be the man for me.
Run now girl…not man just a control freak!!
Total jerk. Marriage means taking on each other, including children from a previous relationship. Start charging a babysitting bill to his ex, bc your services are for your children if he isn’t responsible for your ex child, you aren’t a free babysitter. Also, leaving would be a great option too bc they are taking advantage of you.
So when you got with him, your previous two would have been one years old & four years old. If he doesn’t have that bond with them by now, that’s a red flag. If he wanted you to be a stay at home mom, then he knew what responsibilities he signed up for. I don’t want to get drastic and say leave, but it would definitely make me want to leave. Even if it was temporary for space. I would definitely say something. That’s mean and hurtful. And if he can’t support everything, then that’s a discussion he should be having with you. He’s totally messed up and wrong for saying what he said.
It is his responsibility, especially when he gave you some more kids that has you at home to tend to. How dare he!? You care and tend to his children while he’s at work no? I’d start charging babysitting fees if that’s the route he wants to take.
All children with either parent they belong to equal as it should be
If your son isn’t his responsibility then you should get a divorce, if you don’t got my kid you don’t got me…
Oh hell no! Fuck that shit, your child comes first, period! Husband or not, his ass is in the wrong!
His kids are not your responsibility then either so they mama need a babysitter or pay you for watching her kids, then you could buy your son some clothes as well. Sure he will get handmedowns from your bitch ass husband’s boys, but that’s not the point! If it is the rule for one it the rule for both, fuck that dude!
He knew your kids csme as a package deal before he married you! How are you torn?? If he can’t treat your son as his own divorce his ass. PERIOD.
Throw HIM out. Hes a dick
Get a job then! He has 6 kids of his own and has nothing extra. You sound entitled, step off your high horse and rely on yourself!
That shit goes both ways then. I’d stop watching his kids, get myself a job, and leave out right. He knew what he was signing up for.
All present children despite biological links should be cared for the same. It’s called packaged deal
Oh wow yes he is rong
Yes your husband is an aashole.
Yeah…no, if a man you are involved with especially married, their supposed to love and take care of yours like they are his. You are a package deal. Unfortunately, he’s showing his true colors. I’m sure he would say something if you decided his kids weren’t your responsibility and stopped doing things for them. I see a lot of kids being hurt because of a selfish man. You need to talk about this and figure out a solution, or start planning for a divorce. Do not put your kids in that position. He’s dead wrong for even thinking what he said, never mind actually saying it.
Expects you to look after his tho. Red flags everywhere here, knowing what I know now at my time of life, he’d be gone!
His kids, your kids, kids born into this marriage…
It is a family… you both have responsibilities for these children as a whole, regardless of biological father or mother.
The only ones who have rights are the children here. You two need to man the fuck up in every possible way, together!
Yes, I’d be pissed.
Tell him your thoughts and tell him to be a dad to ALL the children in the household. If he or you are not doing the right thing by these kids … it’s time to end it.
By you not doing the right thing by the children not biologically yours…you are essentially neglecting their needs.
Those who are telling you to do so are wrong!!
Kids are no game. Grow the hell up both of you and communicate or finish the relationship and stop playing tit for tat juvenile crap with the kids lives You’re supposed to both be the adults here.
Act like decent parents… Ffs
Oh HELL NO STOP ALL THAT U DO for gis messy bratty kids tell him they ain’t your responsibility and its his job not yours and that he needs to pay for a chef a maid and a babysitter and you go get you a job if you can the dixk
So he’s got what, 6 kids with multiple different women? And then the attitude on top of that? Throw the whole man in the dumpster
File for a divorce! Put his ass on child support for the 2 he has with you and keep it stepping! No man that lays next to you in bed at night has the right to mistreat and neglect your kids!! Don’t put your oldest children thru that! Tell him to kiss your ass and keep it moving!! I will say you are a good woman because a bitch like me would have introduced him to some hot grits!
I would like to think children wouldn’t have to carry the burden of adult problems. 
You need a divorce. I don’t care what anyone has to say about my opinion. That is your child any man you are with that says ur child is not his responsibility you walk away from period. Imagine how much lesser that makes your son feel. No divorce him.
That’s a really crappy man… Next time he wants u to sit his children from the precious women, grab your kids go out with them and tell him his kids are not your responsibility.
That’s awful!! Well I would tell him his kids aren’t your responsibility either!! He can do this on his own, regardless of your at stay at home mum or not. Blended family means blended family, accepted by both parties not one. I would be super mad and upset!! All children should be treated fairly and equally. Clearly he has different ideas…
Divorce papers ASAP. Sorry but he’s a douche bag and should not be around “your children” My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 5 yrs and he has raised my daughter since 6 months old and been in my boys lives since they were 8 and 3. He does everything a biological father would do for their own children without being asked. This man is going to mentally and emotionally destroy your child if you don’t leave him. Put “your” children first. He can visit the children you have together but spare your other children’s happiness now. It’ll only get worse
He’s doing it because you allow it. There’s no way I’d let a man that I’m with treat my child any different as though he were his own.
It’ll get worse the older your children get, they’ll see the differences made & eventually they’ll resent you for allowing it to happen.
Y’all married now, the children (all of them) should be treated as though they belong to both of you, taken care of in the same manner.
Your husband is an asshole for even stating that your child is not his responsibility. If a man ever told me that I’d divorce his ass, if you can’t accept my children I don’t need to be with your ass.
You deserve a better husband and the kids deserve a better father figure. It won’t get any better.
Of course you have the right to be upset…
Start charging him for looking after his kids as they are not your responsibility either
What an ass. I would have left him.
Hell Naw !! Me personally I’d have to pack up and move on with my life . My children will not be treated badly or different than the rest of the children… Good luck
Your mommy number 3 with this guy. Should have seen something fishy with him at the beginning. I bet he told you the other women were the problem and he was innocent. Honey take your kids and be the 3rd mommy to leave him. He is a bad guy. And you deserve so much better.
You have a right to all your feelings.
Amen preach it sista!!!
Put your kids in daycare if needed and find a job and use the money to provide for you and your kids
If this was on Reddit your husband would be TA (The Asshole), not only to your son but to you as well
Your son feels the tension. He deserves to be loved. That man is never going to a dad to him
Hes been in your kids life for four years already and knowing that their father isn’t really in the picture… He obviously doesn’t have that bond with your kids and that should be raising some red flags. Your kids, if not already will probably pick up on that too which will likely cause a lot of issues. He knew what he signed up for when he married you. I couldn’t stay, he’s putting himself and his kids first and thats not how a blended family should work. Its absolutely awful whats hes done and said. This must be so hard for you! So yeah, I think you every right to be absolutely furious! X
That would mean u rushed into having kids with him, u cnt be laying in the same bed with a man who doesn’t like your kid/kids. Sort yourself out and get a job and leave him, kids notice everything dnt think they can’t see what’s happening.
RUN, dont walk out the marriage. If he hasn’t built a great bind with your children. He never will. Staying there allowing your children to go through that mental and emotional bs, then you’re just as bad.
IM SORRY but that would be my cue to leave. My children always first.
Honestly, I’d lose respect for him as a man. I’d also stop tending to his children. Show him that being an ahole can how both ways. I’m petty though…
Tell him his kids aren’t yr responsibility if he says that about yours , what an asshole he is x
This may have already asked, but is he like that with both of your sons that are 5 and 8? How does he expect you to buy anything since you are at home taking care of the kids and everything else required by a mother?
What an ass, should treat both children the same, I have 1 from my ex and my partner treats him the same, talk to him about this hun x
Plan an exit strategy or you’re going to regret not getting out sooner than later. Get your self in a better financial situation and leave that sack of shit. He’s nooooo good!!
Omg divorce his ass . He’s treating you like your the help ie: maid, cook, babysitter.
It should be one big happy family no kid treated differently. His, yours, any of them
Your husband is a bitch.
The disrespect…and yall are married. 
When you are in a relationship with someone that has kids…THOSE ARE YOUR KIDS TOO! POINT BLANK PERIOD!!! Every child gets treated equally NOT different!! If he does this now ot is just going to get worse in the future. Your not working and your staying home…well guess what his money is YOUR MONEY just like if you both were working it will be BOTH of your money. Not his money not your money its BOTH.
If he married you, he married your kids too and if he doesn’t see it that way without discussing it you probably have bigger issues on your hands.
I would never treat my fiancé’s daughter differently than our son. Period.
There are no my kids and your kids when you are married, they are our kids !
Honestly. Time for a divorce that shit would not fly. I will cut all family who do not treat my children the same.
No way would I be allowing a man to treat my son like that. Sounds like y’all didn’t discuss all of this before getting married. Either he provides 100% for the household when it comes to money and you continue to be a SAHM and care for the kids and house, or I would leave.
Get counceling specialized in blended families. You’re a stay at home mom taking care of all the kids, he makes the money and provides for the family. He needs to change the thinking my kids your kids. Thats the deal when your with someone with kids.
On another note join your local Buy Nothing group if you need extra items for the family its a great gifting community on FB.
I would be furious! If it’s a joint decision for you to stay home, then he absolutely should financially take care of your children.
That’s terrible parenting on his part. Tell him you need to go look for a job, he’ll just have to pay for child care.
That is so wrong! You are married so husband and wife and those are your kids all together! He knew you had kids before you met him. No kid should ever feel excluded or treated differently! I have 4 kids of my own, my fiancé has 1. We are not married yet but he buys my kids clothes all the time!!