My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. His daughter is going to states for a bowling competition. I just found out he is sharing a hotel room with his wife. They’ve been legally separated for 4 years. I just don’t feel right about it, it’s put a lot of tension between us. He keeps saying he won’t go, but I don’t wanna be the reason he misses his daughters competition. I was never even asked to go until I made a big deal. I told him it’s too weird to share a room with his wife. Seeing how it’s a school function the kids share rooms with other students.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset that my boyfriend is sharing a room with his wife?
You should go with him and stay in other room why they have to share room?
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Separated for 4 years and not yet divorced? 
suspish
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He’s not forced to share a room with her. He can get his own.
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You Are Not Entitled To See His Family!!! Grow Up When Men have Kids With Another Woman it’s Not Your Business When They Need To Support THEIR Child !!!
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Why are they still married after 4 years? None of my business or the internets for that matter just seems strange.
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He can’t get his own room?
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Why isn’t he divorced if they have been separated 4 years? You should be more upset about that
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I feel as though the flags were there and you shouldn’t have felt right about dating a married man.
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All I hear here is that you don’t trust him … if you did it wouldn’t matter who was in the room you would know his loyalty is with you perhaps he’s putting himself in what would be an awkward position for the sake of his child and your just causing drama because of your own insecurities
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All I’m saying is how do you not share a room with an ex and not want to have sex . So I would trust it
Maybe there isn’t enough rooms where they are staying if it’s a team comp.
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Id be more curious as to why not divorced AND sharing a room…perhaps getting the best of both worlds
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You are probably a side piece because he is still married to his wife…
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The wife probably doesn’t know about you.
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Your upset your married boyfriend is spending the night with his wife for a school function for their kids ? 
Your dating a married man sis it’s literally none of your business what he or his wife do with their children or how they spend school functions . Legally separated just means living apart , he’s still married and u my friend are the other woman who doesn’t belong there .
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Just wrong! You should be with him or he should have his own room. You definitely know what’s gonna happen that night. Right. Id get out of it period… Js
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As someone who: has a child with an ex of 2 years and a new partner of nearly 1 year I can say, if I went somewhere with my ex for my son it wouldn’t be a big deal. Sharing a room is fine. A bed I could understand.
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I don’t know the situation but to be honest with you sometimes i stay at the house where my ex lives cuz my younger son lives there and he still needs me, my ex and i are good friends cuz we have 2 amazing boys, my bf knows i stay there and he understand. Him and my ex knows ex other. I dont see anything wrong with that cuz theres need to be trust in order to be in a relationship but thats my situation i dont know yours but for kids its better that parents are friends instead of a toxic relationships, follow your instincts and heart, not everyone its evil, dont ask for advice cuz pp will always misunderstand
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Go! Share together and enjoy it for the child. She is the child’s mother. That’s it. Yes they have history but that was done 4 years ago! You’ve been together for half of that and if he hasn’t given you any reason at all with anyone , to be worried then relax. He may not have asked if you have a thing about sharing with his ex. Why have they not divorced yet? 4 years is a long time to wait. It maybe they’ve just not thought about us as it’s been so long and they’ve continued with their lives which is fair enough. I did the same and only went through with a divorce when I got pregnant with my dd as I wanted to change my name back before she was born. It was always on the to die list but until I had her, there wasn’t ever any rush. The ex will always be there and you are a part of the dd life and what better way for her to be surrounded by love than for all her parents to be friends and get along
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It’s weird you’re with a married man to begin with 
Also just fyi a legal separation is used to stay married in case they want to work things out again and get back together 
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So you’re trying to come between a father and daughter just because you have trust issues sounds like he needs to leave you.
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Lmao 
So you have been with this married guy for 2 years now. He’s still married and spending time together with his WIFE and child. What’s the big deal? It’s not your husband now is it ? I find this quite comical actually, I really needed that laugh
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Bro your the definition of stupid.
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My oldest daughters dad and I shared a hotel room when we went and saw our daughters 4th grade graduation at a private school 5 hours away from home. (She wanted to go to that school, she no longer does). We drove out together, saw our kiddo graduate, went back to the hotel and crashed for a few hours (we both work LONG night shift hours), got up after school was out (she went back to school after graduation), took her for dinner and ice cream before dropping her back off at the school and driving together home… and guess what— WE DID NOTHING ROMANTIC. We went as her parents, that’s it. We got a room out of exhaustion and didn’t see the point of paying for 2 rooms for a few hours? To this day, we are best friends; I love his gf; and he likes my bf. We all coparent very very well. It is possible. And to this day- my daughter talks about that day being one of the best days ever. She got both her parents, and she didn’t have to pick which parent to ride with or whatever. I’ll always do right by my kids.
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Why doesn’t he get his own room
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Side note : maybe he cant AFFORD his own room or a divorce? But either way… sounds like a bit much drama for me
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How is this even a question… YES, IT IS BLOODY WEIRD!!!
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He is married to his wife you have no rights whatsoever in fact you are just the other woman
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He’s sharing a HOTEL ROOM not a bed. A lot of hotel rooms have more than 1 bed in them. Some even have 2 beds and a pull out couch. Either get over yourself or stop dating married men 
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You mustn’t trust him to much not that I think I would be happy either but if the daughter is in the room mum will be sleeping with her I would think
So tell him to get a different room 
he’s willing to not go but not switch his room… story sounds like 
to me doesn’t make sense
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Angelia Libbey So what, he can just get a different room… that wasn’t even an option… the whole post doesn’t even make Sense
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Why are people jumping on accusing her and calling her out about being with a married man. Her partner has been separated from his EX wife for 4 years. Do people not read the whole post and then just jump to their own conclusions? 
Personally I wouldn’t be happy at all, as much as I would trust my partner, out of respect to me, I would expect him to get another hotel room. X
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Why isn’t he divorced?
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Seriously? For 2 yrs you have been Dating a married man??? Separated or not…HE IS STILL MARRIED! Don’t you think after 4 years he would have divorced her if he loved you so much? Honey…move on…you deserve more.
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4 years separated and you still calling her his wife, the staying together is nothing compared to the fact YOU DONT EVEN CONSIDER THEM SEPARATION WHEN TALKING ABOUT HER. If you really thought it was over between them you would call her his ex wife, her name or just acknowledge them as the kids mum but your calling her his wife like that shits current when it’s legally over.
You were invited so go! Just saying this is a part of Co-parenting. 
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If he thinks you ought to be okay with that there’s something very strange about him. Tell him you’ll bring your ex to stay with you while he’s gone and see if that’s okay!
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Yes u have every right!!! I’d b livid! N before any1 says she should trust him…he should respect her enough NOT to sleep in same room as his wife!!!
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4 years and they aren’t divorced? Seems fishy
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Blind Freddy can see what’s happening and what is going to happen. Get as far away as you can from him he is nothing but a looser and he is using you and your emotions to his ego.
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I say its weird. I wouldnt put up with it
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Stevie Wonder can see the red flags love
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Double bed as well? Errm thats a no from me!
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Why can’t y’all just get your own room?
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Why after 4 years are they still not divorced?
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I read the first sentence and was already immediately confused
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I personally don’t think it’s weird but I think it’s disrespectful the fact he’s got a partner. Xx
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Be upset mama, these men need to get it together before we kick some 
and take some names
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I’m wondering what the husband does for a job? He might not really be separated from his wife…
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So why does he not have his own room? Isn’t it cheaper to get his own room than to pay airfare for you? Not that separate rooms are going to stop them if they are going to have sex.
I hope all your hysterics doesn’t make him change his mind about going though. His daughter would love for him to see her compete.
I’m close with
MY ex husband and his fiancé, we do a lot together and even go on holiday.
But I would NOT share a room on my own with him. Or at all tbf
It’s not right he is with someone else and I am with someone else it’s not something you do is it.
Would he be ok if You said u were going on holiday with a male friend and sharing a room. ???
Same thing in my eyes.
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I cannot believe some of the shit that gets submitted here lol
He’s never once offered to get his own room? just I’ll stay in hers straight to fine I won’t go then? somethings up
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Why can’t he get his own room??? And take u with him? Little get away for u both. He gets to see his daughter and u get time together 
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Is this a trick question?
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First of all whyy have they been “separated”4years ? Wats stopping the divorce from happening ?? Why don’t you offer to help pay for another room ?
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I also have been separated for 4 years, but there would be no way in the world I would share a room or a bed with my “husband”… i have an issue with that, even if my bf wouldn’t!!!
I’d say offer to help pay for an extra room?
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Ummm… nooooooo… I’m separated from my kids dad, and would never in my wildest dreams share a room with him… he’s an ex for a reason… eeewwwww
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As someone who was separated from their spouse and dating someone else I can tell you that never ever would any funny business happen between me and mt ex spouse. There is a reason we separated. And as long as I wasn’t sharing a bed, id hope my partner would trust me enough to go through with this situation. Doesn’t mean it’s the favorite situation.
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I would be more concerned after 4yrs he is still married…
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Why r u seeing a MARRIED MAN?
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Lol absolutely not, red flag galore.
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I think it’s weird he still has a wife.
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You guys do realize that some people end up stuck in marriages due to one person refusing to sign the papers right?
I wouldn’t be calling her his wife though. That’s just weird. That makes it sound like she still holds the wife title and they’re still together.
I would be calling her his ex.
Now as to the sleeping arrangement. I would not be okay with my husband sharing a room with any of his exes. Kids or no kids.
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Why do people on this page assume the worst of any man in any situation? He’s been entirely honest, has he ever given you reason to believe he’d cheat? Just have some faith?? If you can’t trust him how are you in a relationship anyway?
I’d be more concerned with why they’re still married? One of them is holding out hope that they’ll get back together 
Why would he be just fine sharing a room with apparently his ex wife, if there’s nothing going on? I get some being civil for the childrens sake but come on now I could NEVER share a room with an ex of mine lmbo
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Tell him to go, you shouldn’t ever miss a kids function at the cost of another. And then wish him well, as you won’t be in contact with him any longer. Do it for yourself.
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Nope. That’s weird 
they’re ex’s for a reason and that’s a couple or new lover type of situation. It’s also confusing for their kid/s. They will hold hope the parents get back together.
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If I was the bloke I’d be super upset with you questioning my loyalty and your lack of trust??
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How are you legally separated? He is still legally married until he is devorced. Just saying.
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If you don’t trust him, why are you with him in the first place? All these women never trust their man but stay with them. I don’t get it.
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Y’all realize the room situation maybe because of cost or idk, AVAILABILITY?
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Uh money, and your kid being there in the room could be a problem. That and getting with a man who still has a WIFE
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Reason 200 why I married a man without any ex wife or kids lol
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With all the money he saved on a divorce… he can afford a separate room.
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He’s married, divorce needs to be finalized and why didn’t he invite you to come? It’s just red flags to me
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It is his wife. If you were weirded out then maybe you should have waited until they divorced. Good luck
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I’m sorry but if they were done they’d be divorced by now… 4 years is plenty of time to save up money to do so… so honestly ur not the smartest if u stay with him… and also yes its fishy for them to share a room if they are are really separated… but then again that whole situation sounds fishy🤷♀️ women really need to raise their standards these days🙄
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Ask yourself how he would feel and react if it was you and your ‘ex’ sharing a hotel room together?
I think he should no that really it’s not the right thing to be doing, and try to fix the situation. Can he get a different hotel room and you and him go together? If no rooms are available I’m sure there is another hotel close by? There is no way I would be ok with them sharing a room period.
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And this is why my personal policy is;
- Never, everdate a married man!
- Divorced at least a year
3.if there is a problem, keep it private, ya momma & God are watching…and so is God.
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If he’s a liar as such wouldn’t he have just said that he has his own room and then just sleep in hers?
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If they wanted to be together they would. They don’t need to go away on a their daughters competition to be together. Do you trust him?
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Girl his wife will be 1st until the divorce. Sorry but just stay in your lane and worry about yourself…speaking from a married wife who is separated
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Never get involved with someone who is married!!! I don’t care how long they’ve been legally separated! Common sense people!!!
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Hey that’s his wife b nice
If you don’t trust him, leave him. I will never understand people who stay if they don’t trust someone.
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I wouldn’t trust it.
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Why wouldn’t he get is own room? That’s really fishy.
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Red flag af…there’s nooooo reason why he can’t get his own room. Why didn’t he invite u?? Come on don’t let him do u like that
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Nope that his wife.
Never date a married man. 4 yrs he’s had enough time of he wanted a divorce he would have figured out a way.
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I’m not sure what kind of question this is at all. Why are you dating a married man ? No, you don’t have a right to be upset. He is still her husband, whether they are separated or not. I get very surprised at the women on here asking the questions they ask. Go get your own husband. If a man is married, he’s off limits, period.
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He is not free to be a boyfriend to anyone if he is married. I don’t think the issue is where he stays when he goes, it’s the fact he had already decided to do it. Again, he is still married.
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Ohhh you got yourself one of those married type boyfriends. I’d fix that part first.
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Sounds like it’s a school organized trip. I can completely see school staff putting a husband and wife together in the same room. Why wouldn’t they? It’s not their business nor do they care about the husband’s mistress being upset about it. Legally separated or not that’s still his wife. If you didn’t want to deal with this type of situation you should’ve gotten a man that was actually single. If you want him to have his own room so bad you could pay for it yourself 
learn to recognize your lane and stay in it … this ain’t it boo
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The people in this comment section are a bunch of idiots I swear…most of y’all don’t realize how expensive it is to get a divorce. And if there’s no extra money it’s not happening until one party gets remarried…my god people. Pull your heads outta your
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The statement “my boyfriend is sharing a room with his wife” had me 
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I’ve been separated for 20 years I don’t associate with my ex-husband he doesn’t associate with me but we don’t share any children. So I kind of get it but at the same time he should have had enough common sense to know that would be an issue with you, and it’s really very simple book him a room give him his own room. Which he should have to begin with. Because here’s the thing child or no child if they are separated and have been even if they are on good terms that doesn’t mean they’re going to want to share a room together I’m not saying he’s not trustworthy it’s just that’s a big no-go for a lot of men and women. If there are other reasons besides this to have trust issues with him you may want to just consider backing away and out of the relationship before you invest even more time into it. And if you guys honestly see a future together you may want to sit him down and talk to him about divorce if he gets defensive and acts like it’s a really big deal that’s a huge red flag. If my ex-husband came to me and said hey I’ll pay for us to be divorced I’m going to sign a paper I’m going to show up to court I’m going to do what I have to do.
No second guessing no hesitations. So a lot of people are saying oh but he’s married yeah but this is 2022 there’s a lot of people that are married that aren’t divorced and separate and go their own ways and then find somebody they want to get married to and then they get divorced I mean it’s not that big a deal unless the man is like living with his wife and you’re just a side chick I mean there are so many complicated different stories. Like I said I have literally been separated for 20 years. I don’t know who my ex-husband date and I don’t know who he’s in a relationship I don’t know what he does on a daily basis cuz we don’t communicate there’s no reason for us to communicate we aren’t on bad terms but at the same time I don’t need to be in his business and he doesn’t need to be in mind we don’t share any children.
And unfortunately in this day and age there are a lot of couples that are still legally married that share children and aren’t divorced because one parent may be a little bit more vindictive when it comes to the children than the other and so to prolong a huge custody battle and a lot of unnecessary drama they just avoided until they absolutely have to deal with it like I said it’s 2022 this ain’t the 1950s LOL there’s a lot more broken families than what people realize.
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