I went and bought a brand new car without my husband
Real job? Insult to all of us SAHMs everywhere. Yes he should have discussed that with you. Youāre married. Doesnāt matter if heās the one with a public job. Yāall are ONE. Iād be a little irritated toš¤·āāļø
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Are you his wife or live-in housekeeper/nanny? Is this a partnership or a servitude type situation? It doesnāt matter if you donāt contribute financially, you are his wife. He isnāt your boss, he doesnāt get to tell you that your opinion isnāt needed.
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Iād be livid. Any large purchases should always be discussed.
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At least you have the money to do this. Be thankful for what you have
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Oh hell to the no. I was a shm too but it was joint effort. We had 6 kids didnt make sense for me to go to work. But it was team work.
It should be discussedā¦ but different marriages work different ways. Who handles the budgeting? If you never have to stress over bills and budgeting and he handles it all, then it seems only fair that he shouldnāt have to consult youā¦ In that case though, he should be treating you as equally as he treats himself. Being a stay at home mom is priceless and should be valued greatly. If you handle the budget, then you simply MUST be a part of that decision making. Either way, marriage thrives on open communication- which stands a better chance when expectations are realistic.
Yes 100% I would be pissed. My fiance has done this to me numerous times. Came home with a brand new truck without telling me. He sometimes sells his motorcycle and comes home with a new one. Heās been into boats a lot lately and didnāt even tell me he was going to look at one over an hour away. I was livid. Thank God he didnāt buy it!
Well my momma always told me never to depend on a man. And I learned that from my first marriage of almost 10yrs. Iāve been on both side. A stay at home and working. I mean it is his money. It is. My current relationship its just ours. We know what gets deposited. We donāt ask if its a huge amount we say we spent this. We donāt ask. Its his and then thereās mine. We both work time.
Screw the job. Parter ship is a marriage
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first of all can we normalize payment for stay at home moms. Yāall moms work 16+ hours a day taking care of the house and kids whether human or fur babies. i respect that. itās a full time job and yāall deserve to get money for it. Yes it may be a big decision that should have been talked about but maybe he bought it for you as a surprise. and he was going to take the other one. maybe it was a better investment to buy a new one instead of fixing the older one every time something goes wrong or you might have to go out of town and he needs a way to get to work and itāll be impossible to use only one. but if itās not too much of a financial struggle to put food on the table or have bills paid, then i wonāt necessarily worry, because in the long run it could help your familyās future
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Believe me, honey. I would get an outside job that pays and he can foot the childcare bills. Then I would file for divorce and find a man that appreciated me!!!
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- Communicating about large and long term financial in a partnership is about respect not contribution.
- Idk where u live but I pay over $300/week for each child in childcare. So do the math ā¦ your contributing.
- The fact that he did this and U have to ask IF you have the right to be upset means yāall need to go back to the drawing board about expectations.
- For ppl with the āhis moneyā BS when the mortgage canāt get paid bc he bit off more than he could chew is it his eviction? Marriage is a team sport. You donāt lose. We lose. You donāt win. We win.
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I would be pissed first off you do have a full time job and second he would be divorced thats all. Whoever says taking care of kids is not a job is fucking weak sorry not sorry
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Over $900 for a car note!!! Thatās more than my MORTGAGE PAYMENT! 
Hell yes, Iād be pissed! Iām a SAHM too and Iād be raising all kinds of Hell if my husband did that without consulting with me first!
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Youāre married so finances are both of yours, doesnāt matter if you arenāt bringing money in. If you had a paying job most, all, or a good chunk would go to childcare. It should definitely have been discussed and agreed on.
I donāt get the people that think you donāt have a say because itās āhisā money- no he has a family itās both of your money. And maybe you sacrificed your income to stay home with his and your kids, we donāt know, but that happens all the time.
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Yes he should have talked to you about it, you know why? Because your partners. Your a team. You make decisions together and thatās how a marriage works! Itās not one sided. I get that you donāt have income but that does not make it okay for him to just spend money on a giant purchase. I get it if itās something stupid an small but a vehicle my gosh. Your a team. Whatās his is yours and whatās yours is his. Thatās how itās suppose to be!
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Here is an answer coming from a widow of 8months
If your financial ok do it but he should of talk to you first
my husband worked long hours was a hard worker so I could stay home For years He always wanted his dream truck then he would say no letās get you the van but deep down he really wanted and deserved his truck I was going to surprise him this year and go look at vans but really going to get his dream truck. But 8 months ago he passed away and never got his well deserved truck
So if your financially OK pick your battles
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I work everyday worked two jobs at one time cause my husband paid the bills not mine except car and insurance which he drove too but I pay my own phone bought living room three TVs all needs for the house linens curtains and such I do yard work work the garden but he still acts like itās all his money well hell no I done talked to an attorney let him try just dare him he has spent most of his retirement now so there is no more spending
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Go buy you a brand new car . 
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No. If he is working and making enough money to take care of his family and can afford a truck payment, let him.
I think there are a lot of factors that play into this: 1) Are yall now going to be in a financial bind because of this new truck note 2) Do you have a car that is in good condition? 3) Are you allowed to buy things without his permission?
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Iām would never. That boy has a pair on him. You need to crack that whip. Those types of things quickly lead to divorce. He obviously undervalues your contribution. Take the kids to daycare and have him pay for it. Thatāll put an end to that real quick.
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Get something super nice for urself
A SHM worth is around $178,00ā¦ Thatās all Iām sayingā¦
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My Husband and I have 4 kids and a house. I got bored and went out and bought a van without him knowing. I paid the the payment he had no say. Second car I chose it and took out the loan he had no say in it since I make the payment.
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110% Iād be pissed. Regardless whom money it is. I belive in anything and whoever money you both should sit down and talk. About pro and con. And making choices in your future. Before taking a step.
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Well considering itās his moneyā¦ I wish someone would tell me what to buy with my money I work for
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Would not be a Happy person
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Regardless of if you have a ārealā job (
ugh, men) you are his āreal wifeā and those kinds of things (financial, etc.) you HAVE to discuss as a couple
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I would be pissed.A real job.Being a FT wife and mother thatās a damn real job.He should of talked it over with u first.Lack of communication,not good.Good luck
As long as he first is providing adequately to the family and their needs , but as in a marriage I think you should discuss these things together , itās called team work !
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Ask him how he would be able to pay for it if you left and he had to have to change his work hours to suit raising his children part time
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Wow! 10k down 900 a month without a word to you about it AND then he says you dont contribute bc you dont have a job?!? Iād tell him to take it back ASAP and he needs to see and understand that if you didnt stay home to raise your children heād be paying 900+ a month in childcare. If I were you Iād get a job and tell him he has to help at home with the kids also. Its 50/50
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If he can do the payments, good for him. I wouldnāt care. Iād keep the new truck and he can drive the old one 
. I personally say if itās my money I can do whatever I want with it. if I work and he works and I want to buy 5 purses I will 
if he wants a new truck and can pay for it, he should be able to get it itās not a big deal honestly , weāll not for me
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My ex did the same to me. I was told when we got married I wouldnāt have to work. Stayed home with kids till they were in school. Got my real estate license and worked. He bought a van without telling me until I had to sign for it. Almost$1000 a month. I blew up. He said it was HIS money. I never had a say It was always HIS money. But in the divorce I got everything that was bought with HIS money. House, everything in it and the van. Sold the van and got an SUV that I bought with MY money Divorce him. You can do it on your own
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I would be pissed off. U work harder then him. List everything do and let hi. See it or maybe have him be u for a day
Definitely should talked bout it with his wife before doing it
Thatās something you have to establish when you take on a role such as SAHM. Iām also a SAHM, but before I became a mom, I worked. We both did, but we are a team and donāt make large purchases like a vehicle or house before talking to one another. Even when investing money into stocks etc we talk about it. We made sure before we got married to talk about things like this. 
if yāall didnāt have that type of understanding to begin with then maybe talk about it now and understand each otherās point of view. Why he did it and why you donāt agree, communicate and go from there.
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This is one of those topics that should have been covered much earlier in your relationship. You both need to have boundaries and be accountable for them. You need to be able to discuss everything with your partner without blaming, shaming and take responsibility for your mistakes as well as your successes. Big purchases should be discussed before acting on themā¦on both sides. He needs to see the value in what you contribute to the family is just as important as the money he earns. Mutual respect is how adults keep a relationship successful.
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I definitely think he should have talked to you about it before hand.
However if you guys are comfortable financially I donāt see why he canāt get a truck. If itās too much money in the long run he will definitely feel the pain and correct it. Plus! You can always take it out for a drive. 
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You should look into marriage counseling instead of Facebook opinions of people who donāt even personally know you. If you truly want to work on your marriage, and it sounds like you should, you should do it without public opinions that will only make things worse.
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He is definitely wrong
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He failed on the communication part only. He should of said hey what you think about buying this new truck ? I would be like looks nice go for it. Are you mad about the vehicle or him not communicating?? Men donāt get that sometimes. A simple conversation would of helped.
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Itās like when a women goes crazy on Amazon , everyone laughs at those memes. But if a guy buys something for him, itās badā¦ double standards
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Um did he put your name on it is my only question? Had that happen in my marriage as well. And where did he get the 10k from?
This is a MAJOR disrespect. I am sorry, but I do not see this ending well.
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If he could make the payments and still pay all of the other bills, whatās the big deal? He makes the money
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Just depends how your relationship is, the moment my partner moved in and started a family with me everything was 50/50 when we first got together I worked and he stayed home- he was always saying if if bought something it was mine- I told him āno this is our family whatās mine is yours and yours is mine we are 50/50ā and we also realize some days one of us might be 60/40 nothings perfect. So then 3 years after we got together the rolls switched heās working and Iām the stay at home now- itās still the same- we both talk about expenses and expensive purchases before we do it. My partner would love to go get a brand new truck but we both know enough to know that itās just to much for our budget- but if we could afford it no problem he would have my full support. He has never ever said āoh itās my money I do what I wantā or anything along those lines. So you see since the beginning of our relationship itās always been ours and a respect for each other. So if thatās how you guys were and he just went out and bought that truck with a down yes I would be upset- but if itās always been whatās his is his then Iād say no you shouldnāt be upset. But maybe talk with him and remind him your job is one of the hardest unrewarding jobs! And itās 24/7 7 days a week. Sending š«š
You maried a Real DICK!!!
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My husband is the same way but my money is our money his money is his money
Everyone saying itās only his money, try telling that to the judge in a divorce lol itās 50/50. Anyone who says the person who makes the money is solely responsible for the decision on spending is sorely confused and you have no value in a true marriage. You are a team. Your money is their money. Doesnāt matter who works, who stays home, who doesnāt work, etc. A stay at home partner works every day 24/7. I had a crappy truck and decided Iād had enough, went out and got a new truck in my name, went home told my wife, she was a little worried I made a mistake. Took her to the dealership to pick it up. Sheās been driving it ever since lol
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Definitely not okay! Regardless of whether you are a stay at home mom or work he should be consulting you on major purchases over a certain amount! You guys are married and committed to being together until death so yāall should be a team. I would be livid especially when he put down 10k and itās a 1000 a month payment. Nah he would be in the dog house with me for sure. Lack of respect for your spouse to disregard the other and make major decisions solo like that. How would he feel if you did it technically yāall are married and you can get a loan In both your names even his.
Hold on you do have a real job . Do you have kids ? Do the math on daycare for your kids , house keeping do the math itās not cheap . Extras laundry or anything maintenance around the house get a bid and add it all up . Know your worth . I think its good to talk abt any large purchases or expenses.
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I cannot believe how many people think its okay to be disrespected/ and or be disrespectful. This is really eye opening. A relationship is a partnership and basic respect is a must. A discussion and plan for big purchases especially in a marriage and with kids whos future you have to plan for. Lord. Yaāll are crazy if you think this is acceptable. Also - although I work there was a time my SO worked on the oil rigs away from home and our sons were small and I stayed home with them. He would never tell me " I didnt work". How disgusting. We bought things for ourselves that we wanted without discussion of course a couple hundred limit type of thing but not a whole ass vehicle. What!!!
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Sounds like he has no respect for you at all
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Raising the kids is very much a real job
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Oneā¦ staying home with the kids is the hardest job in the world. I did it for 5 years, Iām back at work now and Iām GLAD I get to escape every day.
He sounds like a douche.
Twoā¦ heās a douche
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At least he should have mentioned his plans to you as his wife. Itās nice for a man to ask for his wifeās opinion, not necessarily permission.
Tell him to pay for daycare and heāll see the financial value of you staying home. But also just as a general respect thing spouses should definitely talk to each other before making a large purchase.
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Uhm excuse me, you DO contribute financially. You keep the kids home from daycare, which you would need with a full time job, and thatās at minimum. If you are qble to clean, bless you, thats the cost of a cleaning lady. The meals you cook are a fraction of ordering out, not to mention youāre also time management for your family, on top of everything else you do. On top of that, thats a HUGE purchase, thats something to discuss and budget for. Yes, be mad and if hes not willing to talk about it or even recognize that this is a major misstep in a partnership, heās delusional. Is this a common occurrence?
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Youāre clearly not in a partnership.
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Figure out what it would cost him for a full-time housekeeper, cook, child care, It would probably be more than he makes.
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I would get a real job and leave his ass
Definitely should be talked about unless your in a relationship like roommates
Not ok. At all. Period. That was extremely disrespectful.
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You are absolutely right. It doesnāt matter that you donāt work. You are raising the children and taking care of the home. Unfortunately for you he does not see you as an equal partner.
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I would slap him till he gets back to his senses.
Tell him to stay home with the kids and you will go work, he wonāt make it 3 whole days.
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We always discuss large purchases ! You have a real job
I would tell him If he can afford 900.00 a mth for a truck, He can afford Daycare for the kids so I can WORK
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If itās a great deal and it means a new super reliable so he can head to work to make a good income for the family itās not a issueā¦ just be great full he is not betting or wasting that moneyš
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I would be furious. Thatās a HIGH payment after putting down 10k!!!
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Um you are a caregiver a chauffer a chef a maid a secretary a houskeeper and a nurse and im sure i forgot somethingā¦ he couldnt afford you if he had to pay you for everything you do
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definitely shouldāve been talked about! Iād be pissed if my SO did that! I mean purchases that big NEED to be discussed! When we get vehicles we agree about them. I do work, but he makes more money than I do. Heāll still talk to me about it
And 900 a month is a lot! 
Thatās disrespectful. You are partners and suppose to discuss things like that. I would of flipped out especially after hearing how much a month itās going to be
What would I do? Divorce. If he had that little respect for me to bring up the fact that I donāt make money therefore putting down the job of homemaker and mother, Iād be done.
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I stay at home with my kids. If my family is financially stable and can pay those payments, put that money down, and still be as comfortable as we were before the payment, then I say let him enjoy his new truck.
Iām sure he works hard for that money.
And PEOPLE WAKE UP, he might have opted to pay it off in 36 months instead of 7 years! Geeze 
Donāt threaten if he can pay that much for a truck then he can pay for daycare too.
Youād be going back to work to afford daycare more than likely if you calculate it out.
Youāre an adult, be an adult.
As long as you have a vehicle too and heās not just leaving you without one and yāall broke, then donāt sweat it.
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Sure is gonna suck when heās gotta pay you child support and pay that 900$ bill and all the other bills including daycare. But now you know he doesnāt see you as a partner.
If you donāt like how he is stay mad see what happens. If he reacts badly and treats you badly then divorce him and make him pay you
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Dont do ANYTHING for him at all and tell him its not your JOB to do anything for him.
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Seeing as everything you buy is financially impacting on both of you, I definitely think you have a say. What you buy during marriage effects both of your credit score as they are tied together during this time. You do have a real job, one that is hard and full of sacrifice. He should have not made such a large purchase without your consent.
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That is a major slap in the face. Even moreso because clearly you feel unimportant for not working a paying job at the moment. Those trucks are yeah easily $900 a month. Talk about selfish when he should, quite frankly, be using that kind of money to invest in the children!
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Remind him itās half yours in the divorce. 
heāll sober up reallllll quick and agree he should have spoken with you first.
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Wow how disrespectful!!! Iām a stay at home mom and my husband works, but he always says itās OUR money, he would never do that to me. Big purchases like that should be talked about, especially if youāre married!
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I look at it like thisā¦ me and my partner both work we both have our own $ however even that being said he would consult me before a huge purchase like that and I him! In the end itās his/my money and we can go as we wish with it but we have the courtesy to consult each other even though we donāt share a bank account so the whole āI donāt contribute financially ā argument is BS in my book. If you are a team as a couple should be he should have consulted you
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Or - get a job and see how much it costs for full time child care and of course you need a housekeeper to clean the house and cook the meals.
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His credit canāt be that good with a $900 payment. Not worth it, by the time he is done paying he could have had 5 of those trucks.
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Whoaā¦ok so Iām a guy who works to bring in the money.and my ex stayed home with the kids and here is my imputā¦ first and foremost, DONT short yourself on how much you contribute.Taking care of the kids and home is JUST as important as him going to work and if he thinks differently than get a job and tell him to hire a nanny and a maidā¦I would NEVER have made a purchase like that without consulting her firstā¦and I mean,we werenāt exactly a loving couple lolā¦I still would not have done that without conversationā¦he is 100% in the wrong here
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You have every right to be angry and disappointed in him. It would be a very big deal breaker for me, lve always been a working mum outside of the home as well, and what u do all day everyday if he had too pay you an hourly rate, he probably couldnāt afford you. Tell him next time he does a stunt like that without any consultation a divorce and alimony will be alot more than a new truck!
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Itās his money. He can do what he wants with it. If you want to buy something earn some money
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Doesnāt bother me
I donāt get how he out 10k down but yet his truck payments are 900 or moreā¦ Thatās insane lol but I mean if he works hard for his money and you and the kids are token care of let the man enjoy his toy!!! He sounds like a hard worker and he obviously is doing his part by supporting yāall its not like yāall are without just sayingā¦
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I guess you could be grateful he foots the bills and yāall have the finances to live comfortably AND buy new vehiclesā¦buuuut thatās just me.
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First off you do work you take of the house and you take care of his kids that enough work within itself ā¦For him to go out and buy a brand new truck and especially put 10 down itās not right at all for him to do that without your input or decision in it cause regardless wether you work outside the home thatās your money as well and you should have say so to wether or how much is spent ā¦so yes you have all the right to be pissed I know u sure would be ā¦
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Iād be more than pissed 
! If thatās the way he treats you, you deserve better! Itās called respect!
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I mean I see this from both sides. A part of me would be mad that he didnt talk to me about it but the other part of me definitely wouldnāt be complaining if my Billās are paid personally I dont care what he spends money on because imma do the same 
I take my 3 kids to work with me everyday and I make good moneyā¦ he dont tell me how to spend it and Iām not gonna tell him because if he spends it he brings in twice the amount he put out but thatās just me Iāve also been with my husband 8 years and we have 6 kids combined. Hell Iād jump up and down for joy if he bought me a new truck. My husband prefers to buy older or messed up vehicles he can spend countless hours fixing
Well, if he makes his own money, he should be able to buy a truck. I never told my husband he couldnāt do anything or to DO anything. He didnt tell me what to do either.
You contribute financially. You donāt have to pay for daycare for your kids. Or a house keeper. Donāt undersell yourself like that.
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Take that truck right back to the dealership or start living in it
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My dad did this all the time. Not okay, but he got away with it.