Do I have a say in whether or not my husband goes out and buys a new truck? We JUST paid off our last truck, and today, he came home from work with a brand new 2021 freaking truck with a payment of over 900. He put over 10k down without even talking to me about it… I get I don’t work and stay home with the kids and don’t contribute financially, but I still feel like this is something we should talk about beforehand…He sees nothing wrong with what he did because I do not have a real job…what would you do?
I’d be pissed! My husband decided to get a title loan without my knowledge at one time and I was livid. I helped him get out of it but then I took the title. I don’t care if you’re a stay at home mom or if you work an outside job, he still should have discussed it with you!
I have so many questions. What’s your car situation, can you afford it financially, have you had any conversations prior about finances… No matter what way you swing it though a conversation should have been had. Even though you don’t contribute financially you are a team and a partnership. All major purchases should be discussed and agreed on together. What he did was extremely disrespectful to your relationship and selfish in my opinion. He is no longer a single man and shouldn’t make decisions like he is.
I would be very upset too!
I have so many questions. What’s your car situation, can you afford it financially, have you had any conversations prior about finances… No matter what way you swing it though a conversation should have been had. Even though you don’t contribute financially you are a team and a partnership. All major purchases should be discussed and agreed on together. What he did was extremely disrespectful to your relationship and selfish in my opinion. He is no longer a single man and shouldn’t make decisions like he is.
Us stay at home parents need to remember that our partners COULDN’T do their ‘real job’ without us doing the kids and house job…. everything takes two to make it work…… spending money on big ass purchases like a vehicle its just damn courtesy at the minimum to discuss it first!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset that my husband bought a new truck without asking me?
A payment of over $900 a month?!?!?!? Holy financial disaster.
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Cody Kasper you’d do this lol
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If you don’t have a “real job”… tell him to take care of the kids then or find a sitter while he works. He should of talked to you. That’s a big thing to do without talking to your spouse.
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Right now a lot of people are buying trucks there’s a shortage on truck and in the next few months the prices of trucks are going to sky rocket
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Yes. Major purchases should be a decision by both husband and wife, together.
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We have a rule over 50 buck purchase we speak to each other.
I’d be mad as could be if my husband did this. I stay at home but it is still my life to live so I’m involved in all decisions
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Unfortunately this is something I feel like he has the choice to do especially since you don’t work. As long as the bills are paid and you guys are taking care of then I see no problem.
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Holy hell. I’d be livid! You work. Your work is in your home. You are a team. So a 30-40K purchase absolutely should have been discussed at length before any decisions were made. Also, $900/month completely throws anyone’s budget into a loop, I’m not sure why he thinks that taking on a 900/month obligation shouldn’t be discussed first.
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Do he go to work everyday
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Holy hell, $900?! Yes be upset, regardless if you don’t work or not in a marriage everything is shared. He should have spoke to you about this first.
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Your “real job” is taken care of his kids and the house he lives in. Big purchases like that should ALWAYS be talked about. He could never do what you do and shouldn’t belittle you because you don’t have a “real job”.
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Wow.of course you have a right to be upset.hes acting like he is a single man.id tell him he needs to go to counseling and find out why he is behaving like a single person. I would be very upset!
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I love it when men start the whole you dont have a job bit. Stop doing the cooking, cleaning etc and let him find out. My ex did that I said ok and went and got a job, put the kids in daycare etc. Ended up making more than him, he hated it. I said oh well I got a real job 
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Yikes! Yes I would be upset.
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if the bills are still able to be paid, i see no issue.
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Shit staying home with the kids is like having 3 full time jobs don’t let anyone tell u otherwise
I don’t work… I make money when I can and take care of everything else! Even stuff around the house that a man would normally do lol… my husband would never ever do this without talking to me … that’s insane
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Any major purchase should be discussed: car, house, vacation.
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If you dont have a real job then tell him he needs to either start putting in half the work at home and pay you for half the hours you take care of your children while he works or put your kids in daycare and you can get to work. Thats ridiculous. He doesn’t realize how.much money you save his ass by staying home and how convenient you make his life by literally catering to him and what the heck kind of truck did he get that required 10k down and still has a payment of $900 a month? We bought a fully stocked 2017 Power Wagon of the year with zero down and 6k off the retail and 1% financing and our payment was under $800
As long as the house bills are taken care of, and I am not putting in financial contributions, my husband is welcome to spend his hard earned money as he sees fit. He would NEVER take from the house.
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He has a point but he should’ve at least told you he was going to put 10k down and buy a new truck.
that just ain’t right.
Go on strike for 1 week he will realize you have 2 full time jobs.
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900 bucks is a bit freaking much man. Wow. Never be upset with my husband spending his money! He always talk to me about it and tell me about his plan before act on anything
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Ehh. I would be pissed but it’s not like you’re paying for it🤷🏾♀️
You do have a job. It’s the hardest job ever that we as SAHM don’t get paid for. Don’t ever think that what you do every day 24/7 isn’t a job. Yes you have a right to be upset. Shit I’d be livid. You are supposed to be a team and make decisions together especially a decision like that.
If you don’t contribute financially I see his point it’s not like you have to worry about paying for the car it’s his responsibility.
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If he feels you dont contribute to anything. I’d leave and let him realize just that
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Could have spoken with you about it
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You do contribute, you take care of the house and the kids… that’s alot of money if you look at it. Also not being rude but it takes alot to stay home. I’ve tried it, and it’s not fur me. I would love to stay home with our son… but again . it’s what works for you. Your doing awesome!! I work and don’t have a car payment. My husband works and bought a used truck 250 a month…
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If it affects the daily life than its an issue. If life for you will continue on as normal then it shouldn’t be a problem. He made a decision without you. If it doesn’t disrupt your current financial situation it shouldn’t matter.
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I stay home.
We both know it’s my husband’s money.
I know my husband wouldn’t put us in a situation where we couldn’t make ends meet, so I wouldn’t be upset if he did this.
However, he would never. We both discuss big purchases before we make them because that’s the respectful thing to do.
So, no, you’re not ridiculous for being upset. You’re married, which makes it both of your money.
I’m sure it was also a mutual decision for you to stay home (and cheaper in the long run bc child care is expensive) so it’s also unfair of him to throw it in your face that you don’t have a “real job”
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You stay home with the kids. That is working. If you were to get a job, assuming the kids are young enough, you’d have to pay for childcare and would probably actually be paying more. Can we stop pretending like stay at home moms have no say in financial decisions? Marriage is a team effort and it’s a bit gross the way some of y’all’s spouses treat you.
I’m currently working and my husband is a stay at home dad and I would NEVER do anything like this without discussing it with him first. It’s literally all about respect.
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I don’t know how you could consider taking care of the house and kids not a job. A$900 dollar payment is a nope from me.
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I’m sorry,I feel like he disrespected you tremendously 
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Sounds like you married a selfish child.
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You have the hardest and most important job and you don’t get paid for it . He should have more respect and appreciation !! I would be upset too a marriage is a partnership . $900 payment is ridiculous and selfish. That could have gone towards family memories / savings etc
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I’ve been in this same exact spot , lol. Sort of… (he did talk with me about it, but at the end my opinion didn’t matter at the time.) My husband bought a 45k car in cash, and even speaking with him about not doing it , he did it anyways… he owned it for 2 months and I refused to drive in it for multiple reasons… he ended up selling it for the price he bought it for, thank God. But honestly… Just keep trying to talk to him.
If he really loves you , he’ll listen for future things…
Send him a bill for the cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, budgeting, laundry… working or not, you are a partnership. That includes decisions. Chances are he figured you would say no and block him from getting it, so he went and just did it. Yes you can walk on a lot and buy a vehicle in one day, but paperwork, test driving, talking to the dealership took time so he has had this planned for a while probably and he his that from you. I would be pissed.
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honestly im a stay at home mom and i leave finances up to my husband so i literally don’t worry about it because if he screws us somehow then it’s on him and at that point i’d take over. BUT, in the 9 years we did it this way we have never been in a totally screwed situation money wise because of his spending something. he doesn’t spend anything we can’t afford so i trust his judgement especially because i don’t trust my own lmao. i am TERRIBLE with money and budgeting so it’s just worked out this way. there’s been times he was gonna buy something and i’ve said something about money and he always tells me “if im not worried then you don’t need to be” so i just roll with that and it hasn’t hurt me yet lol. if my husband was making money stress my concern as well then yes id be stressing over what he bought, but i know if my husband comes home with a new vehicle then i will just be happy about it cause he would never drop that kinda money or get a payment like that if we couldn’t handle that. however, a $900+ vehicle payment he would NEVER do because that’s a lot of money a month for a vehicle lol. so he would either get something with a lower payment or simply wait till he could afford a bigger down payment and drop that monthly payment a little.
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What kind of truck you put 10k down & still have over 900 dollar payments 
. My husband bought a 2020 brand new & his payments aren’t even close to that.
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I’d be pissed I’m a stay at home Mum for the last 16 years my hubby wouldn’t dare unless it was a surprise for me
to me a marriage is a team. if your a stay at home.mom or not things should work together. if he’s only thinking on himself it should be a team effort
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I understand where you’re coming from,
But if you’re not financially contributing AT ALL
it is ultimately his decision
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He works for it, he pays for it, his decision.
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If you aren’t contributing to anything, I don’t think it’s any of your business 
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It’s really horrible that alot of you think just because she isn’t bringing home a pay check that she doesn’t work… Ummm, hello! She sits home with the kids all day taking care of them and the house. That is a job that you don’t get paid for. And he definitely should of talked to her about the purchase. If he doesn’t make the payments she is held just as liable as he is because they’re married. Even if they weren’t married he still should of talked to her about it, especially if their intent is to be together… That’s how it’s suppose to be and also a sign of respect!
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You do have a real job, you just don’t get money for it. He should have mentioned that he wanted one.
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My husband always buys stuff without telling me
But it it was a truck… yes I’d absolutely be upset.
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No communication in the relationship means things will go downhill fast with the two of you. Stop it before it goes so fast you can’t stop it. Good luck to you both.
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First of all, you do your work free. 
Second of all, you 10000000% have a right to be upset about that. Im a sahm and asked my boyfriend and he even said thats crazy & huge purchases like that need to be discussed before hand.
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Whether you pay bills or not it’s called respect and communication!
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As a father and spouse, that dudes an ass hat.
Never let a man tell you what you do as a homemaker is less than what he does at work.
The homemaker is the ultimate career because all other jobs exist to do one thing and that’s to support the ultimate career.
IMO not okay. That’s a big decision, purchase and a lot of money.
& you do contribute financially. You cook, clean, nanny & everything else out of the love of your heart for your family. That stuff isn’t cheap.
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You do have a real job! Your a homemaker. You absolutely should have a voice regarding the finances.
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The lack of basic respect is what I don’t understand.
Why not talk it over and make the decision together?
You absolutely have a right to be upset that he would spend that kind of money without discussing it first. since you two are a union any big purchase, I feel, should need to be talked about.
And any person that tells you that a stay at home parent isn’t a “real job” needs a reality check. Raising kids to be decent humans, while putting yourself and mental health on the back burner for you whole family to come first is the hardest job. It is the most rewarding though!
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Oooooh lawd. Ok. My husband works. Full time. I am a stay at home mom. I do not work a regular job. I used 2 when we were 1st together but stayed home after I got pregnant. Anyway. So I’ve been thru both sides with him (working vs stay at home mom). He makes the money and I make the home. Ya know? Stay at home moms have the harder job. But thats not even my main point. My husband works and he has ALWAYS said, this is OUR money. WE r a family. WE r a team. We always discuss every money move that we make with each other (besides things like groceries and stuff like that) cuz it is OUR goal 4 US 2 b financially stable. We do it together. This whole my money, his money thing, is like boyfriend/girlfriend 1st year dating stuff. If the relationship is more serious and there’s marriage and children etc, he definitely shud have spoken 2 u 1st. Its not asking 4 permission necessarily, it is just done out of respect so u both can be on the same page in ur finances.
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Definitely should’ve consulted u about that & bullshit u “don’t have a job” I mean u take care of the kids & the house & make sure u guys have clothes & food & shit, I’d be upset too
It’s not about who’s money it is. It effects the household and it should be discussed. Atleast a heads up
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Sahm here and I would be pissed!
His money his choice that’s how I see it. If I want to buy a new vehicle w my money that I earned and worked for then it’s my decision not my partners when it isn’t their money. I never asked my partner when I bought my Audi Q7 cuz I’m the one making the payments. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal if he can afford it then no big deal.
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I’ve been a stay at home mom for 11 years. I would be LIVID if my husband did that. It would never happen
Many men’s like your husband,
you work more than him with the kids and the house
Drop kick him. But that’s my first reaction. I explained to my husband my need to control majority of finances and I’m glad he is ok with it. My 1st husband financially abused me by keeping me broke and continually making large unilateral financial decisions without me.
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He doesnt have any basic respect, he isnt a man, he is a boy that has to keep up withthe Jones’.
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Yes, my husband would never do that without talking with me and I’m a stay at home mom. That’s something you discuss unless you won millions from the Lottery. I’d be upset too.
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Be pissed off!!! You do have a REAL job!!! You are raising HIS children!!! Dont EVER think thats not a REAL job!!!
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Add up your time and see how much you’re really worth. Housekeeper, babysitter teacher if you home school, gardener, launderer, chef. You do work. You have every right to be annoyed, it would impact on your capacity to continue to do your job properly were he to miss payments and lose the truck
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Don’t let these people make you feel like a lesser person, yes he should have talked it over with you. Maybe he meant no disrespect, but you are his wife and not his servant! Talk to him about because it can put a wedge between you.
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As a SAHM I’d be getting a job and leaving his ass. But that’s just me 
That’s BS - I’d be fuming. Perhaps you should just decide to go to work & put the kids in daycare & see how he likes that expense
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My husband said to ask him if he could afford that truck if he had to pay child support too.
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I feel like he definitely should have discussed this with you beforehand. I would be upset as well.
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if you dont work or bring in nothing, then no, you really dont
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I’d be pissed 
My Husband bought a car, when I was at work…and I was the only one working at the time…I feel your pain.
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Ummm, I would be livid if my husband bought a huge purchase like a new car without talking it over first. Decisions like that should be made together. And to the one 
, a marriage is not his and mine, it’s an ours.
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Wtaf people, she’s home raising kids! That’s her financial contribution or else he’d be paying someone to watch them along with keeping up the home. Marriage is a partnership & major decisions & purchases should be discussed beforehand.
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I’m a sahm and don’t financially help with bills but my husband would never go and spend that kind of money without telling me… it’s called communication and mutual respect
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Should’ve talked about it but I see his point of not needing permission to spend his money
My husband works. I stay home with our girls. As long as we can afford it I’m all for him buying a new truck if he wants! He deserves it! I can’t imagine the financial burden he deals with eveey single day knowing he has to have his job, go to work every single day and never take a day off not even if he’s sick. If it isn’t taking away from feeding, clothing or housing your family let the man have his truck. We as women take pride in our homes that pur husbands give us. Men take pride in their trucks.
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DON’T HAVE A REAL JOB ?!! is he willing to stay home with kids while you go to work ? I dare him. This guy is a Neanderthal.
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I was a stay-at-home mom for the better part of 11 years and my husband always respected that and would talk to me about purchases of a certain type meaning cars house anything like that before he did it. Personally I would be more concerned about the payment being over $900. I don’t know your financial business nor does anybody on this page need to know it however that can change in an instant. In our personal life me and my husband have gone through that where we were making really good money found out he had cancer and our income was split in half at that point. In a professional standpoint I work for a finance company and I see customers go out and buy expensive cars with their jobs that they are making really good money with and in an instant they’ve gotten fired or something happens and they can no longer afford that car payment.
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I’d go out and buy a new car, see if he likes it. And don’t tell him until after it’s done.
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If he’s paying the bills and it doesn’t kill you guys financially then why not let him have his truck? He’s paying for it
Wait until he falls asleep and glue his balls to his leg! I mean he respects you about the same amount (0%). Taking care of kids IS a job. One that is 24/7/365. You don’t get breaks or sick days and you don’t get compensated financially. He should not be making any big purchases without discussing it with you first.
Nope. Huh uh! And if you gotta explain it & break it down for him things will never change.
You have a job- it’s called being a mother & housewife.
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Holy fuck that’s a mortgage payment.
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Even when I was a stay at home mom my husband always ran financial decisions by me.
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Would he be okay if you spent an equal amount on something you wanted w/o consulting him ? This guy pisses me off.
Honestly…his money. If he can afford the payments…enjoy the new vehicle with him when he isnt using it for work. I’d be excited to get to ride in it. Lol. I’m riding around in an older car that misfires and needs new coils. Riding around in a brand new truck would be cool. My husband owns a business while I stay at home and take care of kids plus appts and invoices
It would take too long for me to type out what I think about “real job” blah blah blah, but honestly, not even kidding, I would divorce my husband for 1. Making a huge financial decision without me, 2. Thinking I don’t have a real job as a mom and, 3. Acting like he did nothing wrong. You can’t change this mindset. That is a gross, disgusting excuse of a husband. No way.
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Put down 10k and STILL has to pay 900 a month?!
Man…
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Honey ,yes you have a real job,raising a family and keeping up with the house is a job and a half in it’s self,your husband really should have include you in on any purchase like that.
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