It depends on the household situation. I think he was selfish.
Yes you have a right he was wrong!
This is why Iāll never let what a man brings to the table be the only thing I have to eat. Some men truly respect the woman who takes on the roll of stay at home mother and realize the non-monetary value that role brings and continues to see their spouse as their equal partner. And then there are men with the OPās husbandās mentality where the stay at home mother is seen as not as valuable.
- Sounds like a terrible deal
- Iām sure you all financial goals for your household, so yes, at the very least it warranted a discussion with you.
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Find a job and let him help pay for day care his thinking will change!
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I think he should have said something, but if he is the one making the money then he doesnāt need permission. Heās an adult, a hard working adult at that.
Are you and the children cared for? All your bills paid and youāre not hurting? Is the old truck now yours seeing as he didnāt seem to trade it in? If the answer to these is yes, then I say roll with it, enjoy the new truck with him.
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First of all, a SAH mom has one of the most āreal jobsā that I know of so donāt discredit yourself. Secondly, I do think that things like this should be discussed among the 2 of you because ultimately, that decision affects the family as a whole. Is it the end of the world? No, absolutely not. So donāt make him feel like he broke a cardinal rule. Just let him know how you feel and that you think big purchases like that should be discussed between the 2 of you. Iām a SAH mom as well and although I donāt contribute financially, I certainly contribute and my husband has talked it over with me every single time before he went out and made a big purchase like that. Itās not that he HAS TOā¦.itās that he respects my input and our relationship AS ONE. Best of luck to you guys, enjoy the new truck!! 
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My husband would definitely take me with him to buy his truck, but I would not be upset if he got home with a truck without telling me beforehand. As long as we can afford the payment without affecting our way of living I wonāt care and I would be driving that bitch everywhere.
WRONG!!! He should have discussed it with you first!!! Any happenings in a marriage should be discussed!! Itās a matter of consideration, courtesy & respect. It wasnāt a $10 purchase!!
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Iād be upset. My husband once did that with a pickup, he needed it we were talking about it but he is a HUGE man and got a Tacoma which was entirely to tiny for him, instant karma there. I think all things in life should be discussed with partners. It quickly can feel like youāre hired help when left out of decisions for your home and that breeds resentment.
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A big purchase like that should be discussed before buying, any amount of money should be discussed especially 10k. Itās respectful to talk about these things. I would be over the moon pissed off beyond measure if my husband did something like this.
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You should both talk over every decision over $1000
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Is the truck for work and he needs to make an income from then he will be claiming payments etc on his tax . Often at this time of year there are great tax benefits for buying new stuff
Oh no no no, a purchase like that we are discussing. It doesnāt matter if heās the only one with a job or not. My spouse and I have had times through our relationship when heās been the only one working, then Iāve been the only one and now with us both working. Itās not about who is holding the most cards itās about respect for each other. Sounds to me like finances are not talked about in that house a lot. It needs to be a regular discussion. We have āfinancial meetingsā once or twice a month to see if anything needs to be changed and make sure all bills are taken care of.
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Close your legs quite making babies with him and leave if you feel that disrespected otherwise some men like trucks and some women like trucks. Plus if he makes good money does it really matter what he does? No not really if you want a say then get your ass to work part of the day.
Should be discussed 100%
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Geez, this is hard. Iām sorry that happened to you. I would be pissed but I understand he brings in the income and I can appreciate the value of your job or all your jobs as a stay at home mother. You can take what I am about to say in two different ways. DAYCARE IS A TRUCK PAYMENT. He spent way too much.
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Oh no. Heās need to talk over any big purchases. I would be fuming.
I would never make a purchase like that without discussing it with my wife. What he did was complete disrespect to her.
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We have the agreement, that if we spend a lot of money ($10k and $900+ a month would fall under a lot) we talk about it. Maybe it was a great deal, maybe it was needed. I have heard of women doing the same thing. We have goals and we safe money up for those goals, any deviation is taking a step backwards ā¦
It should have been discussed.
Counceling for you both!!!. Donāt listen to peoples prejudiced opinions
He should have talked to you. Thatās a big deal.
You most certainly have the right to be upsetā¦ When you two get married then the choices that each of you make should be made together, you are a stay home mom that in it self is a full time job and is proven to be two jobs in one your doing more then taken care of children your cooking meals, keeping the home clean and making sure your husband has clean clothes to be his best at workā¦ SO in my opinion you are contributing just as much as he is with your TIME! Never let anyone make you believe being a stay home mom isnāt a job it is and I can tell you from experience it is the best awarding job you will ever have and if your husband believes other wise tell him to do it for 30 days switch rolls im sure he will be ready to go back to normal in a weekā¦
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With any relationship there must be respect. And in a marriage you can not have love without respect. Buying a truck without asking you was selfish.
Any large purchases we discuss and we both have our own incomes. Itās just respect in a relationship
Girl. Iād be so pissed. All hell wouldāve broke loose. I would get a job and have him pay for daycare. If he could afford a truck he could afford daycare. Then he will see how much money you saved him by staying home. If u made him his lunch made him coffee and all of that. Just stop doing it. He is going to have to pay for all
Of that. Good luck with your truck
Payment now bro hahaha. Then when u make ur own income go and buy yourself some 500$ shoes. And donāt tell him. Fuck him for putting u down like that.
Yeah, he should have asked you. I would be pissed. His money is also your money. Would he be okay with you going out and buying a brand new car, without even discussing it with him? Probably not.
If my home Is running and my spending habits with the children that We have are not effected, than I wouldnāt care if he did, where Iād be mad if they were, if that makes sense
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The two of you need to sit down and truly discuss finanaces. There needs to be a plan in place before a situation as such happens. For instances my hisbamd and I have agreed we make no purchases over $100 except for like groceries/essential items without the two of us discussing it
Iām just curious how yaāll have a 900 payment with 10k downā¦we have a 2021 pickup with less than 600 miles when we bought it and no down payment and our payments are only 500.
I get that a marriage is 50/50 but when does that give us the right to tell our significant other what they can or canāt do?
I bought a truck on my own without telling him, he bought a truck without telling me. Weāre adults and we should be able to make adult decisions. If itās affordable, do it.
Your partner should be just that a partner! Partners work together when it comes to running the household. Neither one have the right to make a big decision like that without even consulting the other partner!
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Marriage is a partnership. I gave up my career to raise my children. Both my husband and I agreed it was best for the children. I took care of the house and the children. When he went back to school to get his degree, I was his study buddy and research partner. Every decision made that affects our family (big or small)we made together.
If a married couple is having issues
which is very common when it comes to finances. I suggest marriage counseling.
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If he thinks raising his children isnāt a real job, youāll never get his respect.
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But if he dies unexpectedly, that payment is on you. He knows that you arenāt working. How does he expect you to afford it? Or is he just planning on destroying your credit?
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Itās his money if youāre not contributing to it
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If he pulls the only paycheck and was able to put $10,000 down, and can afford the payment, I see nothing wrong with his decision.
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We have an agreement that any purchase over $250 (excluding groceries) gets discussed first, my SO would never even dream of spending that kind of money without talking to me first. You have every right to be upset, its disrespectful of him to treat you like youāre lesser because you donāt have a job
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It should have been discussed. I admit, I have done it before too!
You donāt have a real job?
He needs to trade places with you, he might be able to get thru one day, but he would definitely never make a week.
This guy seriously needs an education in what it takes to run a household & raise a family.
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My husband bought a van about 5 yrs ago while I was at a Drs appt. I have NEVER been ALLOWED to drive it (and I have a better driving record than him). Now itās sitting in our yard with.a blown engine due to lack of maintenance; so now we have no vehicle because we canāt afford a new engine or a vehicle. Karma will get you!
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I believe a large purchase like a truck should be discussed. Of course he works hard and deserves it. But ultimately the question isā¦is it in your budget?
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Donāt even downplay your equality in the marriage. That was a slap in the face to your partnership. He should never be going behind your back and buying something THAT EXPENSIVE. My husband works, I stay at home, and we pull our equal share. I raise our kids, take care of all household chores, budget our finances, pay the bills, etc. If my husband did this I would be absolutely livid and make him take it back right away, same day.
If this is a habit of impulsive decisions, your husband needs a psychological evaluation.
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If he can afford it then you really have no say
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Go buy yourself something really really nice 
I hope he lets u drive it
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Both my spouse and I work, whats his is mine and whatās mine is his. His truck we still owe on, last week the water pump went in it, among the list of other things wrong with it, I had mentioned to him about getting a new vehicle and trading his in as lately its been one thing after another with his current one. After talking about it we decided it was time for a new one and discussed what we wanted, what it needed, etc. This week weāre looking at trucks and pricing.
Moral of the story, itās a partnership, yous are married and supposed to work together on stuff
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Damn over 900 payments he should of definitely talk to you about it and since he can do that you should get to buy your self soemthign nice treat your self since your with the kids
If the bills are paid on time and food in the pantry, I donāt understand why you would be mad the man obviously works hard.
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being a stay at home mom/wife is a REAL jobā¦if any idiot ever told me I didnāt have a real job when I was a stay at home mom/wife Iād have slapped him with a cast iron skilletā¦yes be pissed and for 3 days he can go turn it back in and undo his deal!
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I donāt make ANY financial decisions without first talking to wife of almost 40 years. Just wondering, do you think thereās a connection between our talking and long marriage?
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Itās a major purchase. He should have discussed it with you first.
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- communication is key to most (all) relationships IMO. Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs. Iām not oneā¦ I couldnāt do it. Iām a worker beeā¦ but to me this is completely selfish and irresponsible. Not happening in my house, but we are both divorcees and know what NOT to do. I hate to say this but my heart would be hurting so bad if this happened to me.
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If you are a stay at home mom then your job is just as important as his. He should have talked to you about it.
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But sometimes itās easier to apologise than get permissionā¦
If that man is footing the bills and taking care of you and the kids then no you need to leave that man alone. It kills me to see women on her bellyaching about bs overt their men! Do you know how many women in this world that wishes they had a man like yours? Count your blessings lady instead of biting the hand that feeds you!
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Yesā¦talk about it firstā¦reason it outā¦logic
Large purchases should always be discussed in a marriage/partnership. You all are building a life together, and need to include each other in big decisions.
Do not let him make you feel like being a stay-at-home mom is not contributing financially. List all of the things you are responsible for and what it would cost you to pay someone to do those things. Donāt let anyone make you feel like your work isnāt valuble and important, because it is. And you should have a say
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It depends is this going to financially strap you? If so tell him to take it back
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Seriously. What is this donāt have a real job?
Sounds like he is NUTS $900.00 truck payment NO WAY
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He would be living in his truck
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Not if he works. Your not his mom and he isnāt a little boy.
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Iām Iām stay at home mom my husband wants a new truck I want a baby we settled on no new truck since we have a 2020 car and weāll be trying for a baby at the end of the year
Excuse me but you have a real job, he couldnāt have that truck without you because he would have to pay day care and do the work you do around the house. $900 truck payment thatās just crazy anyways. You should always pay cash anyways itās way cheaper!
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Iām a sahm and even if I did work my husband would still be the main breadwinner as I would only be able to do part time anyways. That being said it is still OUR money. No one makes.major financial decisions or purchases without the consent of the other. We both have access to the money, and we both get a say. It would be a problem and a big one.
Big ticket item, if something happens youāre stuck with it. Um, Yea it needs to be discussed. Your job is yours family, you never stop working. This can affect your credit and more! Very selfish thing to do. He doesnāt see you you both as one. Thatās sad on his part. Both are important and should agree in many things.
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Yes! Every right to be upset. Itās your money too. Youāre married. You contribute to the marriage as much as he does. Very disrespectful on his part. Major financial decision must be made by both especially when financed. He is not single and very wrong to not have asked your opinion. Not cool.
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He is dead ass wrongā¦ He most definitely shouldāve gave you the courtesy and respect as his wife to tell you or discuss any large purchasesā¦ being a stay at home mom allows him to go do what heās doingā¦and have a stable home life, and Iām sure that came with sacrifice to your end. You need to assert some independence, thereās a fine line, and he thinks you need him, so he isnāt being respectfulā¦ Please get your own money and something passion or career wise for you outside of your husband, to show his ass youāre with him cuz you wanna beā¦ not cuz you have to beā¦ he got shit all twisted
Should have talked to you first but there is nothing you can do about it
I hate when people do this. You agree on certain responsibilities as a couple. If you agree itās better for your partner to be a stay at home parentā¦ then you show with your words and actions that this makes him/her less than, (ex: putting them down for not making money, being more controlling, or thinking their opinion is not valid in the partnership etc etc)ā¦ then you are treating them as less than and not as an equal. Which is what marriage or a partnership is supposed to be.
Your feelings are valid breadwinner or homemaker
You have no real job !! These men couldnāt take care of these kids the way a mother does . Iād be upset . Let him know how it made you feel , Iāve never made car payments but 900 seems like ALoT
What he did is wrong. Marriage is a partnership.
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Anything over $500 we discuss it period. The issue though sounds deeper than a truck, āsince you donāt have a real jobā. F that, I would 100% leave on Friday night and go to a motel. Come back Saturday afternoon and leave him with the kids. Then see how he feels. I fking HATE men like this!!
I get why you are upset but Can he still support the family?
Tbh if it was the other way round, I would be thinking I earned it, why shouldnāt I spend it if all the bills are paid at the end of the month!
Butā¦Btw! Staying home to look after kids is a real job. Women give up their careers to raise a family. Donāt ever knock that.
And at the end of the day, does it upset you enough to end a relationship?
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I would be very pissed 
U should leave him with the kids for a whole weekend by him selfā¦ make him realize what u do as a mom/wife in the houseā¦ if he want to do big as car payments let him. Heās going to get tired of doing a big as payments and u have every right to tell him I donāt care and donāt be coming to complain about the payment
Of course when you put this spin on it, youāll get tons of replies about how wrong it isā¦ a lot is missingā¦ do you normally discuss all purchases? Does he handle all finances or do you? My husband makes all the money but I handle all the finances, pay bills, make all deposits and handle day to day expenses, so the whole comment about not having a ārealā job and being a SAHM has little bearing on anything in my home. The way you worded things makes him into a villain, anyone this comfortable with speaking ill to strangers about their partner does 2 things, letās others know that they can disrespect him(see comments) and you make yourself look bad. When will people realise this, talking badly about your SO makes YOU look badā¦ you chose him/her, this is the person you are with, which says as much about you as you are trying to make others think about them. Most of these things are the type of things that need to be discussed privately, not put on display for others to comment.
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It is your responsibilityā¦if he got hurt or lost his job it is your credit ratingā¦
I would definitely tell him I may not bring in dollarsā¦but you have meals, clothes, clean houseā¦and kids are looked afterā¦
Price out daycare and maid servicesā¦
Show him the numbers.
Itās your life also as you are marriedā¦
Hopefully he has a damn good job
Would he be ok with you going out and doing the exact same thing?
Dang. At least a heads up. Sheesh.
Yes, he should have told you and maybe asked for your input to help you feel included cause thatās what a relationship is about!
Eww, he actually said the words āyou donāt have a real jobā , honeyā¦ you have a real job and if it werenāt for you staying at home with the kids then that truck payment would be daycare and probably more than the truck paymentā¦ I would be so upset and disgusted.
Research child care costs, housekeeping, cooking etc and give him a bill. This is what you are saving him by staying home with the kids, which is definitely harder than going to work every day.
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Tell him your leaving for the week and he can figure out what to do with the kidsā¦since staying home with them isnāt a job he should be able to handle it!
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Time for a new wardrobe for MOM dont ask just buy!
Totally wrong!! Marriage is a partnership and all things need to be decided between both members!! Doesnāt matter who brings home the money.
Well since you donāt have a āreal jobā you should start making daily lists of EVERYTHING that you do for your husband and kids and to keep your household running smoothly. Iād do some research online and see what independent contractors charge for all of your duties. Like daily housekeepingā¦$30 per hour. Driving kids to and from activitiesā¦an uber would cost $56.00 a day. Cookingā¦$26 per hour. Etc. Then give Mr. Employment a bill. If youāre opinion and input carry zero weight as his wife because you donāt have a paycheck. AND if he can pay a car dealership $900 a month, then Iād say youāre entitled to a paycheck. He isnāt respecting you as an equal in your relationship. So why should you treat it as a relationship where your services are free. Screw that. And next time he wants to get laidā¦hmmmm you should check what the going rate is for an escort lol
Waitā¦Ummm taking care of your family is a jobā¦And Yes YOU DO have a say in whatever is being bought espeacially Big Items such as this You are his wife
What she hasnāt said is how old the kids are.for all we know the kids are in their twenties and all have good jobs and this woman āthe stay at home momā is one of those idle types who expects to be kept. She could well be miffed because she had her eyes on that cash for a hot tub and retail therapy!
What she also doesnāt say is what the truck is used for, is it for her husbandās business? How old was the last truck? Was it reliable, in poor condition etc.
Meanwhile everyone is fawning over what a terrible guy she is married to. A guy so terrible he earns enough to have 10k as a down payment and 900 per month to spend on loan payments (she also doesnāt say how much the truck costs in n total either so for all we know itās only 900 for 12 months).
So terrible that they can afford for her to stay at home rather than having to juggle the house with a job stacking shelves etc.
Add up fees for laundry, cooking, cleaning services and tell him he wants his stuff done he can pay for it since you dont have a real job.
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Buy a new car for yourself. Most states have a 24 change your mind grace period.
Maybe heāll get the point?
Honestly Iād tell him he is gonna start paying for child care so you can get a 'real jobās to have a say and see how he likes that.
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You do have a real job, itās the greatest job on earth. And what ever he makes is half yours, so yes you do have a say.
It wouldnāt bother me, if it wasnāt my money then itās not my business but we are very separate financially, I have mine and he has his , I wouldnāt like to have a joint account or anything like that
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You do contribute to your family financially. What would it cost to pay someone for childcare, housekeeping and cooking??? My husband and I always discussed every major purchase in the almost 60 years we were married.
Thats a difficult one. I buy what I want, when I want, with my money. If hes paying for it, its on him
You absolutely have a right to be upset. You are married. You make decisions together, always!
Bullshit that was something you guys should have talked about.you take care of home and the kids.baby you do work
Be glad you have a new truck.