My mother in law who has, for the most part, treated my daughter good has done something to set me off… she doesn’t like me, and that’s fine; I don’t let it bother me, but I have a 5yr old daughter (not by her son), and a 10month old by her son and she told us today she got the great grandparents on his side and her husband’s side pictures framed of their great-grandkids… well in his grandpa’s picture it was him his mother and our ten months old but NOT our 5 yr old… is this something I’m overreacting about or does this seem like my 5yr old was left out? Mind you, the other picture had ALL of their kids. I can’t seem to just drop this. The excuse was they didn’t have a picture with her and them together!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset that my son wasn't included in a gift to his grandparents? - Mamas Uncut
No baby. In a perfect world she should have been included. U can’t force it tho, reality is what it is…
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If you’re married, there is no excuse to leaving the bonus kid out. It’s an all or nothing deal. These kids don’t ask for the situations us adults put them in.
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They need to treat your babies equally or not be able to see them at all.
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Should have been included
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Nope this is awful hun your a blended family all children must be treated the same. My mother in law leaves my children out so now we have nothing to do with her I got fed up of it its not fair on the children they leave out. My step son lives with me an I treat him as one my own my mother spoils/ treats him same as mine cos that’s way it’s supposed to be. I’d definitely have words and state in future you treat all same and that you don’t want your daughter leaving out on anything be firm. Xx
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That’s bullshit !! All kid’s should always be included, biological or not. She’s petty as hell & it usually ends up just hurting the kid in the end.
Smh don’t let this go.
You may be overreacting, but you’re right about the proper way this should have been handled. The girl should have been included. This kind of behavior on their part can not be tolerated. If they continue to slight her it could give her inferiority insecurities in years to come.
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Omg the would hurt me so much . My old daughter not my partner but his family love her same way as my others kids . I so sorry but I be saying some think . She may not be his but she should be love the same way as your son . This would make me loss my shit . I be say if you can’t love my daughter same way then your family not welcome around me and kids and I do not get 2shit what your pigmum saying . Pray your partner not the same as his pig mum
Nope, blended family and your daughter should be included. That’s not very nice. I’d be pissed too.
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This is in my opinion and with so very relevant and recent experiences is 100% gross! My MIL treats me like sh!t frequently and actively! I put up with it for the sake of my fiancé’s, daughter (previous relationship, 5 years) and me (my son also from a previous relationship, 10 years) lives! My fiancé’s Dad (along with mine) is exceptional but his Mom is dismissive, rude, condescending, mean and a bully (not only to me but to myself, our kids and my fiancé ) and that’s just her attractive qualities!
If your MIL tells or forces your kids to call her “auntie, grandma, any other name that she chose for herself” for your daughter than she’s a shit person that’s wants and requires the recognition for her family role but then deliberately keeps her separated from something as important as a family portrait F NO! The VERY LAST thing a child needs in an absent parental situation is to be outcasted by someone that they spend time with and are constantly hyped up to know they are their family.
2 thanksgivings ago my fiancé and I and my son along with the rest of my sisters husbands family and friends were invited over to her MIL house for fake/ pre thanksgiving and we had had his daughter with us that weekend and I texted my sisters mil and said we also have k**la this weekend to is it cool if we bring her? She immediately texted back and said “of course we love all of you and love that you are so happy! What does she like to eat or drink we can go get whatever for her!” Also bought her Christmas and bday presents with only meeting her 1-2 times!
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SET BOUNDARIES! You are allowed to keep both kids out of an environment that is not healthy for you or your kids! Grandparents are f-ing fantastic but not at the sake of your sanity or your children’s emotional confidence EVER!
Your are right and she is …AHHHHHH
I mean biologically that’s not their grandchild so I can understand if they were only including photos of the children that are carrying on their bloodline… They could have included her to be nice but they didn’t have to as that is not his child.
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That’s not ok they should have included all the kids.Im in a similar situation and I just said whatever you can’t force them to be good people so whatever I ignore everyone who does this as much as I can.Its thier loss one day your child will tell them how they feel and they will have to answer for that
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Nope. I wouldn’t drop it either. My oldest daughter has a different dad from my youngest daighter. My youngest dad was in my oldest life from 14months to nearly 6, she was always included in family photos, they were hung on the fridges of his parents house, his sister’s house. His neices called her their cousin. She was treated the exact same as my youngest. Even now that we arnt together anymore. She’s still treated like she’s family
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He needs to set it straight with his family
No you have every right to be upset. Someone did something like this to my oldest son and I’m still pissed off about it 20 years later. They gave a gift to my husband’s grandmother with “all the great grandchildren’s names” on it and did not include my son. My husband and I both were very angry about it. When he married me he took on my son too, and considered him HIS son. So we both felt my son should not have been excluded.
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I could understand if y’all weren’t married but you are so there is ZERO excuse.
I’d take super cute pics & frame them with “Favorite Granddaughter” or “#1 Granddaughter” and give it too them. 
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Yes you have the right to be upset! She should not take her pettiness out on the 5 year old! Grow up and include all of her sons family or NONE period!!!
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That’s not right at all. Total disrespect
Is it your feelings that are hurt? She not old enough to understand unless you make a big puff about it. Just speak to your husband about how your feeling.
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In my family we don’t play favorites nor do we allow others to play the favorite game and exclude our kids. Either love all or love none.
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I think its awful especially if your married. If not I’d leave his ass if he allows this… poor child…
Oh hell no !! When your husband married you and took on your daughter she became their family. This was done out of spite not by accident. I would be going off at his mum big time.
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I mean, how would they feel if they were a child and they got left out of something? They need to have a little.more compassion.
You are not overreacting nor would I drop this. Your daughter should have been included too! That’s not fair. This is the type of stuff I don’t understand. I don’t understand how some of these grandparents can be so selfish and not even caring the end results of hurting the child or another person.
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So let me get this straight your husband and your son had their pictures on this but not you or your daughter.
When where these pictures she had taken and if they where recently done did your husband know what she was doing and not stop her.
I would go get family pictures done and give them too everyone but her
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I would include my bonus babies and expect the same when it comes to my biological children. A blended family is still family.
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Hopefully the great grandparents will ask where she is and why she wasn’t included.
That’s actively excluding him. Which is extremely rude and unacceptable
Give her a family picture and exclude her from it. Have absolutely everyone else in it but her
Thats what I’d do at least
If you are married to her son she should’ve included your daughter.
I’ve lived through this. It may cause resentment later on as her daughter gets older. My step dads parents spoil my half sisters. And my step moms parents spoil my stepsister. I don’t live anywhere near my grandparents and they used to get them alot stuff or do things with them and me and my brother were left Like damn, what’d we do? We don’t have much of a relationship with either part of our step family’s, which is sad. I’ve always considered them as grandparents until I grew up and seen how bad they actually treated us. If this was my situation, I’d definitely keep my distance from his family. If she wants to see the kid, dad can bring him. They want to leave out one of my kids, you wouldn’t see either of us. That would be a discussion she’d need to bring up to her husband so he can set his family straight. It’s a package deal.
Unfortunately blended families can be tough. You’ll never make her love you or accept your daughter as part of “her” family. You’re feelings are hurt and rightfully so. Speak to your husband . Maybe he can help the situation. It’s sad.
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Make ur own memories with your child and exclude the rest, adults can be such arsehole and ur children do not need to be dragged into it
This is so wrong on so many levels. I’m so sorry this happened and I really feel bad for your daughter. You can’t pick and chose the times when you want to parent and she sure as hell does not get to pick and chose if and when she wants to be a grandparent. She knew you were a blended family and I agree with another person’s comment that it was done out of spite. YOU DO NOT TAKE THINGS OUT ON CHILDREN, period. If I was you I would of picked up your children and went home then I would be asking your husband what his excuse was for not putting his foot down and saying hey she my baby girl too and putting her in the photo as well. He could have spoke up. The grandma and your husband were both negligent, disrespect and probably made the daughter feel like crap and wonder what she did wrong that she didn’t get to take a special picture too. My heart goes out to you. If you love one you love all or the kids do not go around the grandmother. I’m so sorry 
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No not over reacting at all, you are a package deal. Your husband married both of you. Same with my husband he married not just me but my son to. I hate kids not being treated the same. I’ve heard it all, they aren’t blood. This behaviour triggers me. My son & I have faced these issues many a time. So absolutely your not over reacting
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That’s bull. My brother got married and has 2 children and a grandchild that aren’t biologically his. They are my niece and nephew and great nephew. They are also my parents grandchildren and great grandchild. That is a package deal regardless of blood and they aren’t loved any less.
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I apologize in advance, but this is my opinion (we have a blended family and have done pictures of just my husband and his biological kids) Sorry, but you are overreacting. It is not your So’s child. They probably wanted photos of their family. Like it or not you daughter is not his blood.
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Not at all,that’s disgusting behaviour!
My partner’s mother does the same. Says in front of him, that his not blood so his nothing to her and tells my partner the same, that he is nothing to him. We are due her 1st grandchild in September she was so excited till I told her that he is mine and my son’s blood. So nothing to do with her. She can throw as many stoops and wobblers as she likes. She won’t be seeing him till she apologises to my child and changes her ways. End off
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My step daughter was the first grandbaby to my parents she was 15 months old when I met my husband and she has always been treated as my own and my families own. They don’t consider her step they love her and treat her the same as my son. Heck for the first 2 yrs before my son she was the only one and everyone doted on her and spoiled her crazy.
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I come from a blended family as the only child that is biologically my dads is my little brother this would have broke me as a small child you have every right to feel like you do my stepdads family always went above and beyond for us kids to make sure we felt like we where family to this day his family that lives in a different state still calls me his baby girl I’m 26 best feeling ever and they now call my daughter is little granddaughter they have only meet her one time but his cousins that he is close to could not wait to tell everyone who my little girl was… I’m so sorry that you and your little girl are going though this big hugs
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Hell yeah I would be pissed my question is why hasn’t your husband said anything my daughter is not my partners but my son is and if they get treated any different my in laws my partner is the one who says something especially before I do because I am not so nice about it…
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And this is exactly why my kids don’t see their dads whole side of the family…
— not literally the EXACT reason but they’re toxic… and my kids deserve better.
In our family we have never used the term step! I hate it! It’s an alienating term! We are family! That being said I would be pissed! My daughters bio dads girlfriend got him a family tree made and when I dropped off my daughter I noticed her name was not on there! I lost it! She spends every other week there during the summer and every weekend there (school time) how dare she not include his bio child ! Just saying that not everyone is a kind hearted and loving human. If I were you I would have a huge talk with mil and husband and let them know this will not be tolerated while she might not understand now she will soon!
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My “MIL” leave my kids out … biological and all. She does however steal pics of the girls who I have with her son to look like grama of the year. So I 10000000% agree and you should be upset about it and you’re allowed to be. I wouldn’t let toxic in my kids life. It’s not using them as a pawn it’s reaching them and showing them their worth. Hang in there.
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It’s sucks she was wrong. Sad thing is get use to it, not all assholes are accepting.
I’m sorry your daughter has to deal w that. My kids are treated as grandkids by my partners parents, and for that I’ll always be grateful
That’s sad, my son married and adopted the child. She nine now they told her, she was three years old when she came in our life. He’s the only father she’s ever new. Well there divorcing it’s a mess. She left him for someone else. But I love this child and have from the beginning. She’s torn between them. She’s my granddaughter I’ll love her till I take my last breath. Shame on anyone that makes a child feel unwanted or not loved the same. We told her how lucky we got to pick her and she’s a blessing. Theses children can’t help what’s going on they didn’t ask to be put in these situations. It hurts my heart to hear anyone miss treating a precious child. God sees all and knows all. Shame on them all I can say. Prayers for all bless this child to know how wonderful she is, a child of God.
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I would be upset. Take a new family photo and give to her to update and replace the other…
So you said “ the grandpa’s picture” had just Mil, son, and husband? Does Grandpa have a wife that got a pic with both kids then? Bc if that is so, then it makes sense to me.
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That’s sad that they did that. My siblings and I have all dated some other people with children and my parents always treat them as if they are their grandkids even if we don’t marry them. My parents think it’s rude to exclude children sure to their other parents. I’m sorry that happened and no, you’re not over reacting
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That kind of behaviour shouldn’t be tolerated. If she can’t treat the kids equally then just stay away from her toxic behaviour maybe… kids deserve respect and to be treated equally too. If she can’t do that then literally I would keep both my kids away from her toxic behaviour. When she complains put it back on her and tell her she has made her choice and you shouldn’t have to teach her to be a decent human being at her age and you are teaching your children not to accept foul behaviour. I would hate for one of my siblings to be treated less than myself.
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Id be very hurt too…the main thing is your 5 yr old doesnt understand thats shes left out…i think your husband should have a word with her and make sure both are treated the same fro now on…
I would just talk to her tell her how you feel
If the MIL doesn’t like you and you are ok with that (meaning not trying to fix or make better) then why do you care? If I don’t like or care for someone I’m not including them in anything. Just saying
Oh and my kids have been included and not in family things. Bloodline/family photos I get it, your feelings are hurt kids are too young to even notice. Make peace with or friends with MIL. You married into a family they may not be perfect but it’s your husbands mother. Out of respect for him. I’m sure this if it upsets him will be brought to light with mom. She had no pics?? Just says they are not around them much falls on both sides to create a family package. It’s only a photo one of hundreds. Make some more include everyone and move on.
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What a c____! My second husband’s mother excluded my daughter from my first marriage in a Christmas tradition. I was pissed!
You have every right to be upset and mad, and you husband should be also!
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I think it’s very insensitive, if her son has stepped up as a father figure for your daughter she should obviously be included in the picture and your husband should have made that clear as well. It shouldn’t even fall on you to point it out! As a man he should stand up for his own family even if it is to his mother. Very sad situation
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset that my son wasn't included in a gift to his grandparents? - Mamas Uncut
In my opinion as being a child frequently left out and the black sheep. I wouldn’t excuse it. Id bring it to her attention and ask what was her intention before getting upset. Claify the situation but you absolutely have a reason to be upset. It’s hurtful.
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I wished I would have said more in the past about my similar situation, because now it has gotten 10x worse and shes excluded from everything as an older teenage child now.
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Totally unacceptable. She can dislike you, but an innocent child? I’d point it out right away to my spouse. He should be saying something to his mother.
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It’s not your fault that you feel this way but you can’t help how people are gonna be when it comes to thinks like that we wish they wouldn’t be like that because kids are kids an they should all be included just saying
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Nope, I wouldn’t drop it. They accept all of the kids or they don’t get to see non of the kids. It’s damaging to a child when they are excluded but their siblings are not.
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Not everybody thinks like you …your child is NOT their child. They have a right to feel the way they want to.
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I think you have to accept that your older child is a part of your family and not necessarily theirs. It used to hurt my feelings when my oldest, from my first marriage, was left out of things but then I would remind myself that he has his fathers family and my family and nothing I was going to do or say was going to help the situation it would cause more division and exclusion, I feel. You can’t force your child on someone. As the years passed everyone grew to love him and accept and he is treated like one of the grandkids it’s been 14 years he was 6 when we first came around my husband’s family. On his fathers side same thing he was not equally accepted by his fathers second wife’s family but he is, in his 3rd wives, they treat him like a prince! It all depends on how the people are in general you shouldn’t force anything but maybe let your feelings be known. Things will hopefully change for the better, if they don’t I don’t see a reason why you have to keep taking her around them. I don’t think you’re overreacting as parents we feel very deeply when our children are mistreated and left out or made less of but in the end, it’s going to be up to you what you’re vocal about and what you can let slide.
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She has to be a heartless thing to leave your kid out so obviously. I think its unkind and hurtful to the child.
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Unfortunately some people are just not nice people.
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I would never get over something like that because no matter if your daughter isn’t biologically your husbands I feel like he accepts her as his own and has taken care of her good so why don’t the in laws do the same instead of always making a big deal out of everything. I’m sorry momma hope things get better for your kids safety 
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Its not a massive deal sure it wasn’t malicious pick your battles…
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Unfortunately I would just drop it. Pick your fights. I agree with you 
. If it’s not bothering your daughter don’t fight about it. As long as your bf/husband loves her that’s what mmatters. Sorry ppl can suck
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Drop it. Some folks, for whatever the reason, take pictures with “blood” only. Nothing against you or your daughter. She’s 5 and is unaware so no need to bring it up to her either. As long as she’s treating her right like you mentioned then choose your battles.
On another note, I don’t understand MIL (mostly from the husband’s side) not liking who their child decides to marry. But some people are just like that too I suppose
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Was 1 picture a
3-generational, and the other all of the grandkids?
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Some people are just ugly, I have dealt with this with one Grandma for years. As my children have gotten older they have realized how miserable this woman is, she now treats her biological grandchildren the same way.
My children have too many people who love and want to be in their lives.
The other grandparents love all the children…”the more the merrier”
Don’t let this be ok.
Both my kids are from the same dad and his mom told me to my face, while my kids were there… that she loves my daughter more than my son!
And she’s always buying things for her and she’ll say, she couldn’t find anything for my son
When they have the same dad !!!
Mother in laws are just heartless bitches
Not everyone is so inclusive…its not nice but its reality. You cant force them to care and I wouldn’t want to…
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Just take a nice photo of everyone together and frame it as a gift for them.
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She’s a cu*t for real. I wouldn’t drop it, that’s her bonus grand baby.
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You can’t seem to drop this………….
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset that my son wasn't included in a gift to his grandparents? - Mamas Uncut
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset that my son wasn't included in a gift to his grandparents? - Mamas Uncut
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If your goal is to unite everyone as a family, I suggest letting it go. You already pointed it to them. Moving forward take a collective family picture frame it and gift it to them. Do it in a nice way having it be from the kids. It’s ok for them to also have a picture with their biological grandchild as well as one including your daughter.
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That’s disgusting and shameful!! As adults how do you explain to the little girl why her picture is not there ??? That’s creating division in the family.
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I always believe in communication and ask her when it’s just the 2 of you. Not asking why did you exclude my daughter, but more of, I realized I didn’t see your granddaughter included in the photo, did you miss her and need her photo? And try to talk it out, if she is not taking you well, get your hubby to come with you to talk to her.
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I dont agree with what she did but some people only include bio kids incase use ever spilt then they have the bio kids.
I’m the first to say if you take on a parenting role to a non bio child then even if use spilt u still be there 100% for that child. It’s not fair they have a parent for 10years then they can walk away because their not bio.
So yeah I’d personally be a little pissed about it.
If they dont have a picture of them together and you do offer it to them. You will soon see if they just didn’t want to include her by their reaction
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When we’ve done “family” portraits, we do one set with just the bio, one set with the “step” and a third with all. Works the same with in-laws.
An idea…if you have a nice picture of your daughter with them, put in a nice frame & give it to them. “I noticed you didn’t have a nice photo of you & (name). I like this one.”
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Damn rites you should be upset. This is how my son was treated by the exes family. It just got worse til he decided to new see them again when he was 18. Don’t let your little ones get scarred for life by this.
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Id “let it go” for my own sanity because the pictures done and taken and I assume hung up… not much more can be done and I assume they are happy with it.
Like the only other solution would be to pay for a shoot and gather up everyone for it but personality id be thinking fuck them and I wouldnt put myself out for them anymore
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It’s painful and annoying but let it go. Just make the extra effort to make sure daughter doesn’t feel left out
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In my family, it doesn’t matter who you were born to. Once you become part of our group you are family. I have nieces that aren’t my “ biological “ nieces. But they are now family. Grandparents shouldn’t pick and choose. I do recognize the hurt this woman feels because I have loved it. Resentment for sure of how my boys were treated by different people after my daughter was treated from a different dad. You just don’t do for one kid and not the other. It’s cruel and hurtful to them.
Unfortunately you can’t force people to see non biological children as their family even if you and your partner have different views on the matter. They can still love your child but not see them as their grandchild.
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I had in laws like that. No worries don’t even stress it! When the great grandparents ask where she is. Your mother in law wull have to answer to them
You are not over reacting disgusting! What is your 5 year old daughter going to think and feel when she see’s she is not on that picture! Your husband should be getting them told she is his daughter x
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If my mother in law didn’t treat my two kids the same she wouldn’t be allowed to be our lives…children are precious and completely innocent and don’t deserve to be treated differently to their siblings!
That woman would be gone if she was my mil
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My mother in law did this to my son along with having picture of my husband’s ex wife. Made me so angry n though she was ok to my son he knew the difference.
You learn to live with it.
So a grown ass woman is victimising a 5 year old… Jesus. She needs to accept her as family because her son has and did so when he chose ti be with you.
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Wow my in laws would never. My ex husband was married to someone before me and she had a kid before him. Even though we are all divorced my kids call him their brother. I’m engaged and have a son with my fiancé and my ex in laws include my son in everything. In their house is still a picture of them, me, my ex husband, his daughter and our two kids. It reads “family” they said they refuse to take it down. When my ex husband died last year. His parents, his ex wife, her daughter, me and our two sons planned everything together as a family. My fiancé’s family is the same way. They include my sons in everything.
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Would be nice if she included your 5 yr. old. I granddaughter has step siblings they know me as papa. I would not have it any other way. You will have issues with this woman. Sad for your 5 yr. Old. And that upsets me.
I’ve been on both sides of this situation, seen my dtr treated unfairly at 6yrs old, than had 2extra kids from my x son-in-law who demanded i treat his 2 step dtrs same as my own 2 g-kids i had a good part in raising, u can’t force kids on ppl, & kids are leary of new situations, i was told if i want to see my g-kids I had to take all 4, my husband & i are retired not as energetic as we once were, so we just rode it out, every once in a while 1 or both come w/g-kids, but it’s their choice!