Some Mother in laws can be a pain in the butt .I think it is disgusting what she has done to your daughter after all said and done her son married both of you and she is part of the family.
Let this time go but ask hubby to talk to her nicely say we got you a pic with all of us to give granddad but next time if you not got something we can help you get it if mum reacts say she little upset x
Sometimes you have to accept the reason you were given. If you have already asked and they told you it was the only one they had, give them a little grace and believe it. But also get someone to take a picture of you, your husband and both of your kids. Give one copy to your in-laws and one copy to his grandparents.
I think you’re over thinking this. I know people who are like her, and when it comes to pictures; she only wants blood relatives in them. My family has a picture of my Nonni(grandma), my dad, me and my son. They wanted that only us because of how special it is.
You should just be the bigger person and have that conversation so your feelings are heard and why your 5 year old is actually being left out
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I am a step mom and I gave my mom a picture of my daughter nicely framed showed my SIL told her because she’s my first child and my husband’s family got upset about it I got the point and I love my bonus child and I always made sure everyone one was included from that point on. All my children are married grown and my daughters both have step children and when issues come up they bring up how I loved on them all❤️
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Just give the great grandparents a picture of your husband you and both children,a much nicer bigger and engraved one
My two kids have different dad but let me tell you if my daughter was ever left out of anything there would be hell to pay dont let people tell you to “let it go” fuck that if she doesn’t accept both kids than she doesn’t get to see any kid make that clear to her! they are a packet deal. Once you married her son your daughter became a part of her family period and if doesn’t accept it as a grown ass adult she’s wont be apart of you family
Im confused. The title of this is “my son” wasnt included. Then the story goes on to say the older daughter is the child not biologically related to them.
That being said, a question. Are you in fact married? Does your husband/SO claim your child as his own or as his step child? Does he treat her any different around the family? He may actually be drawing that line himself unintentionally.
I would be upset also! Seems your mother in law was being rude by not asking your daughter to be in the photo!
Some family want photos strictly of those in the bloodlines… If they treat her well most of the time the don’t worry… I was left out of a lot of my dad’s family pics but they treated me so well…
This must be so painful for you and I am sorry, I love all my grandkids and treat them all the same, family by blood or not !
Your husband should be the one to call them out !!! That child matters and he should step up to the plate on this one, just consider if its allowed , more than likely the other children will notice and that child will always be pushed to the side because the mother-in-law doesn’t like you, and making it clear to everyone else as well, stand up for that child even if he doesn’t,once a child is alienated like that it will only get worse as time goes on the mother-in-law should be ashamed of herself,curious to know how your husband feels! That child matters
You need to put your foot down now or your 5 yr old will blame you later. Your mil has no clue what to do either. Sit her down and tell her you are a family and if you want a great relationship with no jealousy to treat them as equal and love them equally. Just tell her there is no difference. People usually don’t know how to act in these situations but if you TELL them they should get it. Your 5 y/o will pick up on your feelings and that will be what guides her. It’s normal, it’s natural. You must set the sceen.
I’d be hurt as well however some people don’t want a picture of a child that is not their blood so maybe that’s how the great grandparents felt
Also your daughter is kind of young so I’m sure she would not even think about it so I wouldn’t mention it to much in front of her
Yup my step father’s mom did that to me. Never got me anything for Christmas or my birthday. But showered my sister who was my step dad’s in gifts. Always treated my mom and I different. I’m glad that now I’m old enough to tell her how it is.
I’d want a pic with my biological family only, then another pic with extended family. I feel like this is pretty standard for families.
I would have a difficult time with it too but dropping it is the best thing to do. I like suggestion from Anna De S Vil. She’s right.
Next time you’re at her house leave a framed photo of your husband and your shared child and your daughter sitting on her side table or credenza. Don’t say a word and see what she decides to do about it. 
If you really want to drive your point home do some creative photo shop with the grands as well!! No child should be excluded without a better reason than you were given.
Welp I doubt I would go any further then me bitching at my husband. BUT Christmas is right around the corner you bet your ass that every member of my husbands family would get a big framed family picture with all 4 of us & both kids front and center for Christmas. Probably for the next couple Christmas’s to come. 
Let it go.give them a picture yourself.why does it have to be one your mpther in law framed. You go n take one frame it and gift it to them.period. your mother inlaw needs some growing up to do . But like i said if a photo bugs u that much go make your own n gift it.
Giiiiiiiiirl I would be fucking pissed!!! That is an innocent child and didn’t ask to be part of anything. The least your in law could’ve done was include the child.
Take several pictures of all of you together over the next few months. In October decide which you like best and have it framed. Give it to your in laws for Christmas with much fuss.
Some mother inlaws like to stir the pot a lot … Don’t let her get to you chances are she’s never going to change …
How long have you been married? Do the grandparents know your daughter? If you have a photo shoot for your parents would you include your husband’s kids from another marriage?
I would be upset too and I would definitely say something to her that’s just rude and hateful
I would be upset, they could have asked for one. But if you have told her how you feel hopefully they will do better in the future. If not, I would limit contact with her
Be more open with 5 year old about the situation in general. So that when stuff like this happen, they don’t see it as something negative towards them but instead understand y it’s happening. Ur in-laws aren’t wrong, it’s literally their choice. They just happened to choose the option u don’t like. The issue here is really the mom.
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Wow! This is tough. They were in the wrong excluding the child. Everyone has phones and they could have easily asked for one to be used.
Just let it go. You can’t force love, just make sure you emphasize equal treatment in the future.
They should’ve taken photos with the 5 year old in it too or separate. The 5 year old shouldn’t have been left out of the photoshoot
I got my grandkids seprate gifts all the time. But what they wanted. Not group look at me gifts.
She’s not related so why would she be in pic
You are not over reacting. Adults can be so cruel when it comes to innocent children.
It doesn’t matter the child shot
Your husband should speak up. Its his parents and now his child. This is on him tbh
She was 100% left out, and she’s being told she’s not a member of the family, I’m sorry.
You are overreacting. Let it be. She wanted a photo of their bloodline, which does not include your child by someone else. No big deal. It is just a photo. It is not going to affect your daughter unless you make it so.
I had a in law that never acknowledged my 1st 2 children
My oldest could care less about being included but his sister felt hurt and left out
She always questioned why she was left out. She’s 40 now and it still bothers her
No matter how much I told her she is loved it still hurt her being left out
My opinion is give it time. I’m not sure how long you’ve been together (likely less than 5 years since the child is 5), but they may be waiting to see how long the relationship lasts before officially including her as family. If they already don’t like you, they’re probably expecting the relationship not to work out or hoping it won’t. It might hurt, but you have to realize it was your husband who made the choice to accept your child when marrying you, not the rest of his family. They may need more time to get to know your kid, work out whatever issues they have with you, and see how stable the relationship is before opening up & including her as one of their grandchildren (especially in special family portraits). Some people are afraid to get too close to another person’s kids only to have that relationship ripped away if there’s a separation. Will your child’s father or grandparents on her father’s side be including your new baby, as well? How will you deal with the new child being left out by your ex & his family? There are likely going to be times the child you have together won’t be included in activities or pictures with your other child when she’s with her bio-dad or his family. Unfortunately, this is one of the consequences of broken relationships when kids are involved. We just have to cope with things the way they are as best as possible & realize we can’t control other’s actions or thoughts to make everything picture perfect for our kids (pardon the pun). It’s extremely rare, in spite of all the other feel good we’re-so-perfect comments, that everyone - parents, steps, exes, & in laws all come together and make EVERYTHING completely fair & equal for the children to make them happy. Sometimes our kids are going to be hurt or left out. Sometimes we can’t do what will make them happiest, which for most kids is really just wanting to see mom & bio dad back together & not even having to deal with step-family or siblings from other relationships. There are some situations we just can’t fix or force for them, & all we can do is love them through it & hope for the best.
My daughters inlaws do that to my oldest granddaughter. It’s really not nice.
she sounds like a shitty grandmother. but then again, she might not have actually had a picture to use. it would piss me off to. but i would try to not let it bother me and wait for her to make an even bigger mistake. but that’s just me. try talking to her about it. Talk. not argue or scream or shout. she really might not have intended to exclude your little one.
Make arrangements for the family to get together for photos and make it happen. Then the excuse will be invalid!
Could always just give the grandparents a picture of just your daughter since they didn’t have a picture of her in it with them:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: problem solved 
now she’s not left out 
Yes. I have bonus granddaughter and I love her just the same.
The child should be treated the same
Hmm god is the one workin not them let it go and do what u hav to do for yr family
Maybe you should speak to your partner he should encourage accepting her
Shame on you Grandma a 5 yr old does NOT understand what happened
She is being left out that’s my opinion
Id be pissed and she would know about it
I think that was very rude 
As a stepparent, and I don’t even like saying stepparent, it’s so weird, in indigenous culture, you are their parent in every single way, if my mom left out one of my babies, it wouldn’t be good, and she would not be allowed around any of my children. If your children are in an environment where favorites being played, you put a stop to it right now. That was my childhood, and only as an adult was I able to heal from that. Your husband needs to talk to his mother, it’s his turn to go to bat for his family, and he absolutely should, to protect his children and his wife.
I can totally see my MIL doing this. It’s old skool vs new skool mindset. You can’t force ppl to view your child as their own. When realistically they aren’t. Some families blend completely and some just tolerate each other. Sad but true. Let it go bc you’ll grow resentment for something you can’t control.
Food for thought, are you any less part of the family because you arent blood related? No. Then why should your child be treated any differently?
Simple solution is to have a picture of your family BOTH kids taken- frame it and give it to them separately
Don’t stress over it there are bigger things to worry about taking care of yourself letbit go can’t change it …
Nah. That’s straight up disrespectful to your child. It’s like spitting in her face. I wouldn’t allow it and I’d make it known that if they don’t want to include her, don’t include your son either because neither of your children are interested in them 
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No es el parque Lezama…?
The bottom line is that child is not a blood relative. They may accept her at activities, gatherings etc., but she’s not their sons daughter. Some people are very to the point and make their feelings felt and others have big hearts and include that little child because children are all innocent of their parents choices. Trust me as I’ve been there and done that. As many here have shared, take a nice picture of your combined family, frame it and give it to them. If you don’t see it displayed when you visit you have your answer. If you do see it than it was just not planned well enough to have your child involved. Some people are just ignorant and can’t be open to accepting a child that’s not blood related as a grandchild. Some others are super caring and kind and would never do that to a child.
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She’s 5 years old and not likely to notice she was left out of the picture unless it’s pointed out to her…if your mother in law generally treats her well,let it go, but as your daughter gets older and the exclusion continues, then yes, address it.
I’m not a computer expert by any means BUT what I would do is take the picture to someone & add your son to the picture & then hang it in a very prime spot where everyone can see it & just wait!
Hit her over the head with the picture frame. She get the picture.
Get one taken yourself and give it as a gift
Sounds like she’s an asshole… she’s a little girl and it is very hurtful what she did. Does the child know what happened? If not PLEASE don’t let her know.
She’s a petty hateful woman who isn’t capable of experiencing just exactly what love is.
Anyone who can leave a child out whether blood related or even happened to be there at the time… she is gross.
And your husband is in this pic? Did he stand up and request your other child be included? I get it some women are over bearing and they manage to run the lives of the adult children too.
But if I were you, and thinking of the future and your child asking why they aren’t in the pic…
I would schedule a time for a family picture and keep it at your house.
And btw all these people saying ridiculous things like it’s your responsibility to bring the family together, your child outside the marriage isn’t family!!! IGNORANT!!! So grateful these comments from those people aren’t coming from anyone who has any influence over my impressionable grandchildren.
I would NEVER leave out any child who comes into our family! And not one person in my family would ever disregard a kids feelings or the parents
Mil is a bitch. Take your own photo and gift it.
She is an ignorant, heartless b!tch.
She is just starting
Maybe they just wanted only biological family in the picture.
Shameless on their part, no good!
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Yea cut those bitches off
Nope, I’d lose my shit
Not right by her how rude that is