I wouldn’t let it bother me honestly. Maybe for a second but I wouldn’t carry it around with me.
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I had two children with my husband. His mother always treated them like they were found in the gutter. It never changed.
My husband’s sister had 2 kids. My MIL treated them like royalty. What a POS she was to treat innocent children who did nothing to her like crap.
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There’s always gonna be things like this to come up when you try to put full blood siblings, half siblings, step siblings all together and call it a blended family. The pieces sometimes just don’t fit just right. It results in some hurt feelings no matter what. Some can roll with it, some can not. A parent might just make things worse when trying to intervene, it draws attention if too pointed. Best to quietly work behind the scenes.
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They know it was wrong, but that’s what toxic people do
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I went through this same thing! My husband sister wanted to surprise his mom with a picture of all the grand kids which would of had my boys in it (not my husbands) kids but have his kids in it as well as my boys and her kids. Well my kids were in there late 20’s and had a geek kids. Now my husband who has no to little relationship with his 2 kids they just decided to start seeing that side of the family after 20 years. The BS OF MY STORY IS HIS KIDS SAID IF MY BOYS ARR IN THE PICTURE THEY WINT BE. what spoiled little shits and mind you my kids have been in the family now at lest 15 years now. So what his sister did was take the photo with out mine because of his kids. So now this grandkids phot sits in his moms house we’re my boys or there kids now would have to see it and they knew they were supposed to be in it. Little to say I haven’t been back there or visit.
I thought that was the most ungrateful thing they have ever done a real slap in the face to my kids. What the sister should of said to the spoiled kids was look this is for grama deal with it or not in it. Well today I don’t even think they see these kids as much. They or his son was so jealous and spiteful of my boys because there dad raised my boys at a young age. I don’t think people realize the hurt that puts in these kids to see or here stuff like this. Stan your ground
It is your kid and you want your kid to be included, i that get,but you cannot force everyone to accept your kid as their own. You want your hubby to accept her and I assume he does? It is sad and I feel bad for her 
but I don’t think it is fair either to except people to accept her as their own. Sorry, not fair to the grandparents. The world isn’t ideal and we need to understand that this is what happens when you bring a child into the mix. I hope your precious daughter gets all the love she can from you and your little family so that she doesn’t have to feel left out. 
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Well does she have a picture of them together?? If not make it happen. How does the great grandparents treat your daughter do you guys visit regularly??
That’s wrong. There’s no way that was acceptable 
blood doesn’t mean shit…it’s the LOVE. And if they didn’t include her…I would simple not include any of my other kids when it came to stuff like that. If she hasn’t caught on by now…eventually she will and imagine how that will make her feel I hope she won’t continue to be left out, put your foot down now and let them know what it is. Good luck to you!!
I would gift her a nice framed picture of you all for her birthday,or christmas
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Had a MIL do this to my two older kids, she got everyone else something for Christmas and not mine…and made a lame excuse why she did it. We never spent another Christmas there again
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Let it go, its a picture!!! More important things in life. It is their loss not to treat each child the same.
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That’s cold for sure…that child is going to grow up angry I would strongly recommend to keep those negative ppl away from ur family
Just glue a picture of her to the frame without her knowing! No need to be upset, but just make it known that she was wrong to do it
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Sounds like a 3 generation picture. Which not include you son. Grandma, son, sons kid.
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Get a picture taken with everyone or the four of you and give it to both inlaws and grand parents.
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Definitely left him out and I promise you children are sensitive and aware of these kinds of things. I’d definitely have a BF.
Drop it she has granparents your son won’t be involved with right? Leave it alone. Go get family pics done
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I’d be upset, but how long have y’all been together. Some people would argue that it doesn’t matter but if it was under a year I could understand. But if it’s over a year or more and you’ve been visiting these grandparents a lot and they know your five-year-old then that was just completely utterly rude
My mother in law did it to my children . so I cut them from her life. She didnt like me from the start. Which was O.K. but when u treat my children bad watch out my fangs come out. She had 2 grandchildren that she treated good .
We are happy without her. Keep your 2 children away from her and she will be hurt not u.put her in her place.
Mine grew up with love in them. She grew old being her mean old seif.
If they was doing a generation picture your 5 yr old should not been included. Because their side of family for a Generation picture is for blood relatives. You shouldn’t get angry about that since he is not your daughters biological family. She wouldnt be part of a Generation picture. You are over reacting. Your looking for something to nit pick about.
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They could of asked for a pic to add her. Sad thing is some people just don’t see family as family whether blood or not. My mom has grandkids that are biologically not hers but if u ever try to say that she will snap. They are all her babies because they are our babies.
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Sad my step grandchild is also my grandchild
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I don’t think your only really upset about the pictures… I think it goes way deeper then that. I hope you can find peace about it.
Sad my step grandchild is also
That just seems messed up, but maybe that’s because I have awesome in-laws. My partners grandma is ALWAYS wanting photos of us and my son who isn’t my partners bio kid. She has pictures of my son right up next to all her other great grandchildren, to her there isn’t a difference.
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Not cool. You’re all family. She can have her issues with you all she wants but to use a child and hurt her feelings to be petty is pretty low.
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Maybe the greats wanted a pic of blood family like a generation photo. If your child isnt blood related, dont take offense. Same happened to me one time as 3 of my kids are half siblings. You cant change the fact they arent blood related, and unless your hubs legally adopts the 5 year old shed have no claim to any of his families assets in a will either.
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I think it depends on the situation, my mom has pictures of me and my brothers alone with our kids because she just wanted some of her kids and grands but also had pictures of my bonus son and all of our spouses and us together in different frames. I will agree it isn’t fair if it wasn’t something like that
I married my husband having a daughter from a previous relationship. If at any point his family wants to take a picture with our kids I wouldn’t allow my first born in them. I just don’t think she belongs in there. But I would rather do that myself than have someone be nasty and tell me that she isn’t allowed. Or take the pictures behind my back. After all I’m conscious that she isn’t blood related. I wouldn’t let it get to you. It sucks they did that but hopefully that shows you their true colors.
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If it was a generation picture then it’s fine. If it was a family picture then I’d be mad. Your husband should back you up.
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Excuse if she really cared and wanted him in pic she would make it happen excuses are just what ppl really want and just don’t have the balls to tell you and I wouldn’t give her the time she sounds disrespectful
This happened to my family. My husband is adopted and at a family event, it was said loud enough for all to hear, we want only the blood for pictures. Yes it hurts, but there is nothing you can do about it, it’s a fact and a truth. Get pics of your family and give them to whom you want in the family and let it go. Don’t let it fester in your heart. It won’t affect anyone but you and you don’t need that. (((HUGS)))
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Its thier choice whoever paid for it. Go make another picture. Maybe its just you with the problem. I understand your feelings are hurt bc mine would me to. But take it has it is and get over it Get ur own pictures made.
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No that’s people being assholes and they know what they did
Hon, they arent decent ppl! Sorry but.
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That’s a lame ass excuse. We don’t have a picture with your five year old daughter. If that’s they’re excuse, then you know where you and your daughter stands in their eyes. If anything, they would’ve made sure both of you were included in the picture if they cared about you two and your husband.
You aren’t over reacting at all. It was wrong for her to not include your 5 yr old and she knows that!!!
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My mother in law messaged me last night and told me we needed a more recent picture of my kids…. My oldest is not her sons child! Love is love when they love your baby you know it they don’t have to be related!!! If they don’t love your baby you will know it.
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If you marry someone with children those children are yours and should be treated the same if the grandparents can not treat all kids the same then they don’t see any of them
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My ex in-laws used to say they accepted my 3 older kids but every 2nd year they would let the kids call them grandma and grandpa, and get them presents for bdays and Christmas like the rest of the kids but then they would turn on them and the next year and make them call them by name and no presents that year for those 3 boys, they’d be left out. I eventually cut them all off. You wanna be in my kids life, you have to except there are siblings and all kids should be treated the same. My kids don’t need to be hurt more.
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If she is part of the family than thats unacceptable if all the children were included… it doesn’t matter if she’s blood or not she is your husband step daughter which makes her part of the family and they should consider that! If she’s not included then the ten-month-old shouldn’t be included either because they are siblings! You have every right to feel the way you do… 
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Growing up with my step-granparents they had an embroidery made after my sister was born (10 years younger than me) that says “children are the garden of life” with all the grandchildren names aside from mine and my brother’s. My brother and I were there before my mom and step-dad had their children together. Its something that bothered me for more than 15 years. When I asked they said “you’re our grand kid too but this is for the ones with our blood” whats strange is they accept my son no questions asked. He is their only great grandchild
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So was this a generation picture?
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Leaving people out is some school-age nonsense. When an adult does it, it’s not by accident. I would be offended for my child. Idk if I’d make a big deal about it, like if she’ll never see it, but depending on the situation I might bring it to someone’s attention.
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I guess I lucked out. My in-laws always treated my boys as family and included them in pictures and family stuff. My husband and I don’t have kids together, and he didn’t adopt my boys but claims them as his (when talking to people outside the family, he’d say our boys). Now my boys have given me 4 grandchildren, and they call my husband Papa. His mom is Grandma. They have cousins, an uncle and aunt on hubby’s side.
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It’s all my kids or none of my kids. She wouldn’t be coming anywhere near my son if my daughter was being treated poorly and purposely left out of things.
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Sin g ling out a 5 year old because she’s not blood n you dont like the mom those ppl are petty and vile i wouldn’t allow them around either kid 
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I would be mad… she should be included as well
I can understand why this would be upsetting for any mother as you always want you child to be included. However, not every grandparent is going to accept your kid from outside the marriage in the fold…so take this as a sign that they ought to get a talking to about sensitivity (and kindness towards a child).
It’s rude and inappropriate for them to have done what they did, but they are also from a different generation, where the rules of engagement for blended families weren’t as clear. If your husband accepts your other child as their own, the grandparents should too. Then you offer that they can remedy the situation with a full family photo which can be redistributed to all members. Some people, unfortunately, need their hand held through these kinds of issues.
I met my husband when my son was 3 now he is 7 and we have a 2 year old daughter they’re grandparents make no difference between them he is their grandson they never exclude him from anything they loved him since the first day they met him
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She’s part of that family too that is completely unacceptable!
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I would be so very hurt .
My husband, soon to be ex-husband, his family is completely uninvolved, but if they did it, I’d raise Cain! He is my daughter’s dad, even if he isn’t biologically.
Be offended. She did that intentionally. What a bitch.
Invite the grandfather to the next party not the grandmother. Make sure you get cards made and don’t put her name on it. You are a family. Tell her the pics are unacceptable to you and give them back. If she doesn’t take them tell her your just going to throw them out.
I wouldn’t be super mad but thats just me. My husband has 3 kids with his ex wife & his family does everything in the world for them but our now 2 kids we have together get nothing. I get we live states apart but they dont even call our 2.5 year old. When they heard I was pregnant again they were “happy” but complained to people he knows. Ive learned to just say screw it. My kids have my family who adore our 2.5 year old & are more than excited for us to have a 2nd. Its not about whos blood & whos not its about whos there & who cares. 
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Don’t let it bother you, deep down she’s not your daughters grandmother and she has a right to want a picture with her grandchild, doesn’t mean anything, I have a picture with my grandkids, 1 with “the girlfriend child” which is no longer and no one wanted to hurt anyone feelings and it’s the only one of the 7 I have all together, wished I had asked for 1 without her
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What is the problem they were taking s generational picture and your daughter is not a part of that. I would be more worried about how they treat her overall.
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My son’s grandmother on his Dad’s side. Included my niece in family pictures because I always had my niece with me. Dad isn’t even involved. Sounds like you got a Petty grandma to me. Mind you she wasn’t included in all pictures but there was a picture of her hanging on the Wall
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Don’t drop it , it’s ignorance .
Get a family photo of all 4 of you hand it out to every but her .
That’s what I would do , but I’m a bitch like that.
Don’t let this bother you or make a big deal out of it. It’s simple blood or not. I have kids I don’t need them in family pics they don’t belong in specially if they are not wanted.
Simply ask her why she is such a damn bitch, then move on. If she answers tell her it was a rhetorical question.
Don’t drop it. Push the matter always stand up for her. Once I marry you that child is apart of my family. You can’t tell my family that my son I didn’t birth isn’t their nephew/grandchild. In the future I would tell them if you can’t involve all my children go ahead and leave all my children out…thank you
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I definitely understand how you feel, my ol man’s mom (I don’t even like to call her my mother in law cause she doesn’t deserve the title as a mother) she gave her kids an awful childhood, barely ever had food for them, would leave them for days on end, my bf would have to wake up him and his little brother to go to school to be able to eat even. When I got with my bf I had a 1 yr old girl and a 2 yr old girl, and he’s always treated like his own, we had a son together and he treats them all the same but his mom treats him way better than she treats my girls and we’ve been together almost 5 years and she still treats my girls different. Shell only watch my son if we have somewhere to go not my girls, she buys stuff for my son but never my girls, she’ll buy snacks for him and everything and never my girls, i straight up told her that she could treat all my kids the same or she wouldn’t be in any of their lives. My ex’s family the father to the girls treats my son better than my mother n law treats my girls. My girls have came crying to me so many times asking why granny doesn’t love them and it’s heartbreaking. Always stand up for your child no matter what! It doesn’t matter who it upsets, your child always comes first!
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Nope my newborn (my husbands) will never be treated differently then my 5 year old (not my husbands) and he made that clear bc I told him I was worried that his family would start treating her like shes 2nd and not equal and if it ever happens they will not see either of my children
As a grandmother to my son’s son and his wife’s daughter ( who my son has not adopted) you have to treat both children equally. My son loves them both and includes both of them in his life, so I do as well. Anything else is totally unacceptable.
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Yes she had a excuse saying she didnt have a picture of her. Bla bla bla. See if she does it again. All I can say is it might have been a honest mistake or she was just intentionally leaving her out. Either way I personally think this was deliberately done and is wrong. Good luck
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When it comes to gifts for my fiance’s mom, I personally give her gifts that dont include my 2 boys, I include my boyfriends son from his first marriage and our daughter and that’s it cause those are her biological grandchildren, my kids are not 
and let me just add she is very good to my children I just feel like if me and her son were to split my kids wouldn’t be her grandkids anymore but my daughter still would so that’s why I do what I do **Also so nobody starts hating she does have pics of all 3 of my children hanging up on her livingroom wall
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Not acceptable in my opinion. As the saying goes, you marry the man you marry his family right? WELL shouldn’t it be reversed? You marry a woman, you marry her and her children. Family is family, blood shouldn’t be all that’s considered and if you married me, my children are apart of that. Her husband needs to step in and remind his mother he added 2 people to the family not just 1 and if she can’t accept BOTH his children, cause she is his child as well (step)but still dad!! That is not okay.
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I am in this very situation as the Step-Nana (just to keep things straight). My son moved in with a woman who went into the relationship with a child. They have been together for 6 years now and have an adorable baby boy. The oldest child has always been treated by my husband and I the same as our other grandchildren. My son treats her as his own and therefore so do we. Whatever makes him happy also makes us happy.
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I have to say it is a painful situation but she’s not obligated to include YOUR daughter from another man. Your 5 year old isn’t her grandchild even if she is loved by him (her son and your husband). Does your 5 year old child’s father and family include your 10 month old in things? I mean, if they do great but if they don’t they can choose not to. You can’t make people feel a certain way and do certain things because YOU are upset. 
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Press the issue. They could have easily took a picture with your 5yo included. You have two kids and they are siblings. It don’t matter if they are blood to them or not being with him you and all your kids are still part of the family. My 8 yo is not bio to my man by my 3 yo is. And his side of the family includes my son in everything they do. Plus I send them family pictures of all of us. You can’t do that to a child. That creates hate and children are all about love. Why exposed them to that. I would talk to you man as well tell him how you feel and ask for his help backing you up.
Let it just don’t include her in anything
I think it was a generation type picture. So it kind of makes sense that they took a picture of the males
Yes it happened and caused hurt feelings every time we think of it and that was 40 years ago! It’s rude to do that to a child. Forgive the ignorance, God is watching. Teach him that instead.
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It’s gonna get worse and and she grows she will see she is “left out”. Which could create problems in the future with her mental health and other things. It’s all or none in my book.
It would bother me when I was with my ex husband his mother used to constantly leave my son out even introducing him to people as this is Cole our grandson and this is Tyler he’s not ours 
I would tell her how you feel see what she says but I’d be bothered xx
Drop it
Like really what can you do
You’re not overreacting!
It’s hurtful to exclude her just because she’s not biologically theirs. I would explain that and provide them with a lovely picture of both your children and their grandparents. Say I hope in time you will come to love her like your other grandchildren That should get the point across
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The problem is you think your kid is FAMILY and she not. Ladies stop thinking your kids are FAMILY to other people cause the father play that ROLL. OTHER people not doing that. I see it all the time… those my grandkids, she her daughter. That love me and my child my work at home behind closed doors but outside reality set in. Better have a talk with her about family. Cause other people not claiming kids that’s not theirs And that’s real talk.
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Yes! It is terrible and hurtful when family members (especially children) are not included and welcomed into the family (immediate or extended family), whether it be blatant acts or microaggressions. There is more to family than blood.
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My step grandparents always included my siblings and I, and now I still visit them and celebrate all holidays and whatnot with them. If they had done anything like this, that would not be the case. Personally, I would mention it. Let them know that once she’s older, she will notice and be alienated. See what they have to say.
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Honestly, I’d let it go. Unless your child was physically there and they excluded her. If I were the MIL I would take 2 pics one with your daughter and one without. As long as my significant other accepts her as a daughter I’d be happy. Other family can do what they want. From a different perspective, as a child I always hated when my step-mom wanted me to call her family my aunt, cousins etc. I’m like lady I barely know them, sorry.
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It’s a complicated matter. I get it hurts when that happens and trust me I know that all to well. For example, when my father in law passed. They included one grandchild in the whole funeral arrangements (because he was biologically family) . And that’s when I knew, even though it hurt me to my core and my oldest stopped considering certain people family,all that mattered was my fiance.
Learn from the past, do different in the future. Instead of just presenting a picture to this in law, regardless if you are just married, or not, when you see her, have her take a pic for you holding the baby and the 5 yr old and your man. Normalize including her and start a new precedent of giving her a hard copy of pics of the kids WITH her, and frankly that’s good advice for everyone, bio or not. Do you have a loved one like an ‘auntie’ or second mom? Let them know you see them as part of your village. Favoritism happens in bio families- some stepfamilies are incredible from day one. But things do change, life is short. A pic to capture a family bbq or Christmas can go worlds to making a 15 yr old remember they have loved ones.
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I had pictures taken many years ago of my 3 daughters with my ex-husband’s daughter. I now wish I had taken two sets - one with her and one without.
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From an outside source looking in I want to say “ maybe baby girl was at her dads that day, it’s hard to get that big of a family together”
But knowing myself and my emotions I would be a little mad. But once again. Where was the 5 yr old on the day the photo was taken? If she was there that day and not photographed I’d be livid. But if she wasn’t even there I’d be a little upset but push it away.
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From personal experience, they will never include her and secretly hope you get divorce.
My ex-mother-in-law never treated my children like family, didn’t try very hard with her own son’s daughter either. But her older son got married (with 3 step kids) and she goes out of the way for them with gifts and etc. I’ve learned I don’t need any in-laws.
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I am so sorry this happened to you and your child. It’s hurtful behavior that does not appear to be accidental. One problem is that trust was totally destroyed in that act, on many levels. That takes a lot of time and energy to rebuild trust. I too would feel hurt and angry for the disrespect and lack of inclusiveness to one of the grandchildren(aka: my child). Sad. But… this shows the person she is. If there is remorse, she needs to make it right. If not, you need to find it in yourself to let go so doesn’t eat you alive. Be the bigger person. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Remember your boundaries with this person and trust your instincts regarding them. Everyone can do better if they chose to. There are no excuses that justify acts of disrespect. We know when someone is truly sorry and feel they have made a mistake.
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Don’t make an issue about the photo, but know in your heart, you have to protect your 5 yr old from the wicked mother in law… What he is NOT aware of can’t hurt him. You will have to explain when and if he asks why he is not included in the picture. He may not ever ask:confused:
Good luck… God bless you.
I think you have every right to be upset. A family is a singular unit and should be treated as such. While your child is too young to pick up on this now they most certainly will later on in life. I had similar things happen in my family happen growing up and we picked up on it and felt different. I would bring it up gently and see if you can come to some sort of resolution.
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I just think its a sham that we cant empower kids by making them a part of it all. Including a child makes them want to achieve so much more. I personally just found my kids older brother who has another mother and as far as im concerned hes my son too. His mom is also a wonderful lady.
Have your daughter call them by their first names from now on, if they can’t respect you and her, they don’t deserve any respect back. Make it clear that they are not her grandparents. She has a great set of grandparents that are all hers.
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Being a parent in an extended family is often difficult especially when dealing with relatives best to let it go … not always are others able to accept and see things your way… I doubt she left your daughter out to hurt her or you on purpose so either talk with her or just let it go and as others have suggested take your own picture with everyone in it
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We never did professional pictures growing up because my step mom wanted to show them off to claim she was a good parent. When she wasn’t, I understand where your coming from because my grandmother does this but she had pictures of my at the time step siblings by themselves so she didn’t have to take down whole family pictures. Older generations don’t see this as a weird thing because they didn’t believe much on divorce and or even leaving someone. Your allowed to feel like they are playing favorites but I would definitely try not to let it get in the way of the kids relationship with that part of her now family.
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Let it go. Its not worth it being stressed about. You can’t change what other people do. Can only change how you feel. Its just a picture. You said she treats the daughter well. Isn’t that much more important than a picture. And you also said she does have another picture of everyone. Look at both sides.
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She should’ve been included! Kids are innocent and don’t understand it shouldn’t get their feelings hurt.
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If this was me going through this I’d for sure be saying the next set of pictures will be taken by your family and given out by you or your husband to your family. Make sure you take pictures of everyone in your family so your daughter is included, it doesn’t need to include your mother in law or any grandparents, my grandparents just liked getting pictures of the 5 grandkids sitting on a log and she was happy. It’s not always going to be easy but at least this way you can see them grow up through photos and they’ll look back on them knowing they’re loved and wanted
I have a step grandchild and have taken pictures of just the bio child, but then I do the exact same thing with the step child. They are both mine. I have also taken of the two of them together. NEVER NEVER let the child think for even a fleeting moment you don’t love them the same. If they want one of just the bio child that’s fine but they could have taken one of the step child with them as well.