WTF - marriage is a partnership. Period. He works & You work. The only difference is one of you gets a paycheck. This shouldn’t be confused with not “really”working. It’s Both of your Monies. Period. 
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If he is the one paying for it then no. I wouldn’t see the reason to be mad. As long as bills get paid, kids are taken care of, etc… then I don’t see the big deal 
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YES!! I got upset once because he purchased a giant flat screen tv w/out my input, especially since he often complained about “not having enough income”. I found out about it when they delivered it and were going to set it up.
Big decisions such as this should be made as a couple. That was pretty inconsiderate.
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Yes you certainly do have a very good reason to be angry .I could imagine his reaction if you done that
Id be pissed. Unless you guys have 500k in the bank, we are in the middle of super uncertain times. That is a major decision that you have a right to at least have some input on
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Yes you have every right to be upset …If you work or not a marriage is a team … When you have a team you work together theres no working together when one partner isnt involved in the decisions …
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You have a full time job. Kids and a house are enough. I would be pissed. Big decisions should be made together.
Right now no I would not be upset about it. My car got totalled by the insurance company and I have no car til we can get another one and he’s out in Texas with the army so be glad you have 2 vehicles. Thank God for my awesome neighbor
I would definitely be upset! Not okay. How would he feel if you did that? That’s a too big of purchase not to consult you first.
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I totally believe you have the right to have any decision to make any big purchases together .because you deserve all respect in any relationship this works both ways.its called communications and caring about what you think and feel.
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I’m a SAHM also and yes, I’d absolutely be livid if my husband made a decision like that without at least discussing it with me first. How would he react if you were to go & do the same thing?
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I would be mad honestly especially when it wasn’t needed. But if you guys can afford it, then cool. But if you can’t then that’s a problem.
Yes you should be upset. Being married is a partnership. It would have not hurt him to tell you what he was thinking and purchasing.In his defense if he was surprising you with a new car that a different story, like for you Birthday , anniversary etc…
Yes, mine did the same before we got divorced. It never felt right…
Yes working or Not in a marriage big purchases should always be a discussion
I’d be like hey cool! You surprised me with a great new family car when you could have bought a corvette.
First of all… You do work…secondly…yes you do have a reason to be upset. 
Maybe I a. “Old school” but I believe any major decisions should be made by both parties in a relationship. May e technically she doesn’t “work” , but someone needs to take care of the kids and home. That cost would be substantial if you hired someone.
Technically you do work… hard I would think with 4 kids
Divorce him, take the house AND the Durango. Plus child support and alimony.
He should have at least talked to you about it. BUT…Does the purchase cause undo financial hardship? Do you struggle to pay your bills monthly? If not, then why be upset? If he is working and paying all the bills then that is on him unless it causes you to go without the essential things.
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Plain and simple. You are over reacting. If he can afford it then cool. Just brush it off. It’s a car !!!
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U don’t pay for it so ? Lol
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I mean, he’s the one working and unless you or the kids are gonna go without because of the purchase, then I don’t see the issue.
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Yes, a conversation should have been had .
Now there’s two cars so you can work and he can pay for day care…yes!!!
If you’re upset you are upset.
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My guy n i live together he pays all bills mostly. He still talks to me n respects me not do something that could hurt our home situation. He had no respect for u.
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Once my ex husband bought a car we couldn’t afford. I was worried about the car payments and he was excited that the dealership promo gave him 10 free cases of Pepsi in the trunk. 
Typical man. He should have discussed it with you first.
Not me 
I loved / miss my Durango lol
Wow 
so you’re raising his 4 kids & he reminds you that you don’t work? I’m 100% sure you work 10 times harder than him, sounds like you married a selfish pr**k. Would it be okay if you purchased a $50,000 vehicle without talking to him first?
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Hey if my spouse did that for me I’d be fine with it. He knows what I like lol
Exactly what she said and I agree I would be upset also
How old are your children and why aren’t you working???
I would have blown my top!
My fiance and I have an agreement that anything over $300 we discuss before buying. Just because he works and you stay home doesn’t mean it isn’t your money too. Marriage is a partnership. I’d be pretty upset too!
It’s his money. Maybe trust is an issue?
You have a right to feel however you feel!! Feelings are funny like that. As for should he have consulted with you? I personally think so. A marriage is a joint venture and any decision one makes can affect the other. I do agree with the poster who asked of you are super financially secure, because if the cost isn’t an issue then that changes things. If money is no object then you should both be able to spend however you want on whatever you want
Yes the rule in my house hold is all purchases of $200.00 and over is talked about and both adults agree that it is in the budget to make the purchase. we have agreed that we have a $175.00 budget for free spending each month (sometimes we will lower it if we have a goal) But anything big we always agree on it. We also have an agreement that we drive our cars until the point it cost to more than they are worth to fix the car, and we agree that we only pay cash for our cars. When we buy a car we start saving for a car so we can out right buy the car when we need one. We have agreed the only thing we will owe money on is a house until its paid off.
Are the bills paid? Is he the one that manages the money? Is the extra payment affordable for the two of you? Do you and the kids have everything you need, plus a little extra?
If the answer to all 4 questions is yes, then no you have no real reason to be mad.
If there’s a no to any of these questions, then yeah you should be pretty upset.
Eh I wouldn’t be upset if we could afford it. Sounds like yall had the money with him doing that. It is his money his decision… but if you’re upset I’d say something to him. Communication is key.
Do you share finances? If so then yes you have a right to be upset. He bought what he wanted and apparently can afford. He got something big enough for the family to be in as well. You have a car to use so it did not take away from you or the family. In my opinion the payment is high but it is what he wanted. If he had talked to you, you probably would if gotten mad so he didn’t. It is his and his responsibility to pay. You can be upset but it won’t change the fact he got the car he wanted. This should of been a discussion previously in the marriage about big purchases. I doubt he will return it. Maybe he I not having a midlife crisis. You should tell him how you feel and get all off your chest. I am a single parent and always controlled my own finances. Never have I commingled money with someone else including my parents. So this is a foreign topic to me especial asking permission to use my own money to buy something I want.
Yes you have a right to be upset because its your debt now too. And by being a sahm you’re actually saving money in my opinion. My ex did this but he bought a small yellow hot rod that his family couldn’t fit in and he didn’t even have the job, I did. He bought it with our tax money. It wasn’t his only downfall so I would have never broke up with him for it but its a serious debt that you now both share. He should have called you and ran it by you for sure!
I think he should have talked to you about it but he doesn’t have to need your permission or ask you if he can purchase a car. He has a job so he’s making money. It would probably be different if you had a job with am income.
You absolutely do! My husband consults me for any purchase over $20😂 and I’m a stay at home mom. I never asked him to ask me before he buys something, but he just does it out of respect because it’s OUR money. And I do the same unless he’s at work and it’s like a crazy good deal that may possibly be gone by the time he has a chance to look at his phone.
But neither of us would ever buy something over $500 without talking about it, ESPECIALLY a car.
You do work. I have 5 kids and if he did that to me I’d hide those mother f#$* keys and say “oh one of the kids must have hid them good luck finding them. Don’t ask me for help…now”
Nope cuz hes a man and makes the money. Thats all that matters to them.
The thing is, you do work. Being a stay at home mom is work that enables your husband to work outside the home for pay. He would likely struggle immensely if he had to do everything - his paying job, parenting, and all the homemaking. Any single parent will tell you that working both inside and outside the home is having 2 full time jobs. Just because your job is unpaid doesn’t make it any less important or essential to your family.
That being said, you should have equal access to and say in your home finances. He is being a jerk - and, possibly, abusive - if he is constantly belittling your contributions to the household. You have every right to be upset, and every right to have an equal voice in your shared money.
Hell yes if he dead who stops the bills you need to fight back
You have every right to be upset and don’t let him tell you otherwise. It’s not even whether or not y’all can afford it, it’s that apparent lack of respect he has for you. 2021 Durangos run anywhere from 35-68K depending on the trim, so that’s a LOT of money to spend on a depreciating asset without at least discussing it beforehand.
I’d find a job opposite of his work hours and he can watch the kids while you work as well as do half of all household chores. He has no respect or care for your feelings. It’s obvious he doesn’t think what you do is important. You need to work, make your own money as well as make him responsible for the children and house as much as you. Let him know after you get a job the hours and days, he will be 100% responsible for the kids and house chores.
Of course he is supposed to consult with you. You are a SAHM and decisions should be made jointly. You should not even allow him to think just because he works out of the home, it is not both your money.
My husband tells me when he’s buying anything, including a plant. (I’ve told him he doesn’t need to justify small items, just buy it if he wants, but he still tells me 
)
To survive a marriage, you must communicate… about everything.
My husband and I have been married 14 years and it’s at the point where we think the same things now - even random things - it’s weird. Because we talk all the time.
We have a 5 yr old and I work 12 hours a week and my husband never complains. We’re far from rich either.
4 kids IS tougher than working. Don’t excuse him because you care for your most precious asset
I would be upset (Nice word) if my husband did this.
Sounds like he did it because he knew you wouldn’t agree & he is needing something to boost how he feels about himself. A manly, new car will temporarily give him a high. I suspect a cranky wife will get him annoyed and he’ll come crashing down and then the relationship will be in a worse spot.
Might be time to find a good councillor & work on things? Before it gets worse. If he thinks he’s got enough money to spend on a ‘thing’ then he should be willing to spend it on his life by getting help.
I’d be upset. He doesn’t respect you as a wife, mother or human being (constantly reminding you that you stay home, making big purchases without discussing it with you etc). I bet he does nothing around the house or for the kids. He brings in the money & gets to make all the choices. Personally id get a job. Tell him to pay daycare. After all he holds it over your head that you don’t work. Save your money & leave him. Sounds like he makes good money. Child support & alimony should support you 5 pretty well.
Maybe he was trying to surprise you. It’s not like he bought a sports car that can’t hold the family. I would be excited if my husband came home with a beautiful fully loaded SUV for me and the kids to ride in. Sounds like he’s been working his ass off and wanted to have something nice… and they don’t just hand out 70k cars to anyone. He must have his finances in order to be approved for one. If he’s in charge of all the finances then it’s his choice to purchase it. But ultimately it’s the family car. You were probably upside down in your old car and it was about to start having problems. What was the financing rate? Did he get 0 payments for 6 months? Did they cover registration costs. How much negative equity rolled over if any. Maybe he got a deal he couldn’t refuse but like I said it’s not a sports car or motorcycle it’s a family vehicle in my option he bought it for the family to have a nice safer vehicle. Be happy you’re in a situation where he can afford to do that in a one income 6 person household.
I wouldn’t be personally if I was in that situation if we were financially well off. It’s his money that he works hard for
My ex husband did that used the bank account money to purchase a car that didn’t run he swore he would put it together. Spent 5,000 on it had it tow it never made it out of driveway. When he left he took the entire checking account. Never again will I share my account with someone. He left me and our two children alone. Talk to him tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t change then maybe you should think of having a separate account from him.
Yup . my x did this shit , never had a say in anything financial, he made all decisions without consulting me . Asshole thought i was beneath him coz I stayed home with kids .
Divirced him and found out he had accrued 75k in debt. Was gobsmacked. Bloody lucky my name was on nothing, he had to pay the lot back!!!
Oh I would be fuming mad!!!
Yes it doesn’t matter if you don’t work you are still a team. Firstly he has to get off the I work for the money and you don’t. I would start charging him for all the child care and everything if he wants to act like that. But you guys should consult each other about big things. Sounds like he knew you would give him a hard time so he just did it without telling you.
I’m sorry that you even have to ask that question. What do you mean you don’t work? Ummm your wife and mother that’s more than a full time, around the clock 24/7 job. You more than likely bust your ass more than he ever does only you don’t get paid a check. Your married and marriage is about making decisions TOGETHER! If you went out and spent that kinda money bet your man is going to be furious and fight with you. I’m so tired of men thinking because we stay home we don’t do shit. They could be offered a billion dollars and couldn’t handle our lives for a full day. It’s not something to get divorced over but it does show he doesn’t care and kinda doesn’t respect you. But point of my comment is No he’s wrong and you have the right to be upset.
I would be livid – – – but that is because my husband and I have an incredibly open relationship about our financials; any investment, any spending necessary is shared with one another explicitly. We do such just to respect each other. While I am a stay at home mom, I also have a full-time job that I do remotely at night, but I don’t think that makes me any less or any more reasoning to question money. When entering a marriage, it is a partnership, and money is part of that partnership. Unfortunately, most marital trouble I have been witness to stems from lack of communication overall or lack of communication regarding money. So my answer 
is that your frustration level should probably be dependent on the communication guidelines you two have set regarding money.
If he has enough money for a 5,000 down payment plus whatever the monthly payment is, he should be able to afford daycare! Get a job if you want one! He most definitely should have made that a family decision tho
No not really, if he’s paying for it (nothing against you) I’d let the man be happy with his new car. Dodge Durangos are spacious and good for kids. I personally wouldn’t be upset as long as I didn’t get stuck with the car payment lol but that’s just me. Don’t get upset, I’m not telling you that you can’t be upset or that it wasn’t wrong or anything. I’m just saying me personally I wouldn’t give a shit.
No it’s his money he is the one working he still covers all the bills and the kids needs you do not get to tell him what he can do with his money when he’s taken care of you and the kids and every bill while your a stay home mom
He obviously doesn’t think to much of you because that’s a major decision and he didn’t consider your input so suffice to say he thinks you don’t make money you don’t need to worry what goes on with it. You might as well start doing what he’s doing in a sense and consider yourself single and go on your own because a man like that isn’t interested in making you equal
I mean I guess so If he throws not working in your face. But if he doesn’t I wouldn’t be to upset. if he can handle it and won’t be tight on money. Buf if he throws it into your face since he made the decision without you.
I would be pissed. It isn’t his money it your all’s money. I was a stay at home mom for 7 years. We always talked every thing thou.
By staying home and taking care of the kids you are working. You’re working by saving daycare money. The money you would pay in daycare is more than what you would make at a job. Any big decision should be a choice a couple makes together. An extra $700 a month and $5000 down is a lot of money. However, do not let that put a wedge in the relationship or start a war between you.
I mean I purchase all of my vehicles without my husband’s consent. But it’s also my money that I work for. He knows when I’m looking and that’s about it.
Yes. Be upset if he doesn’t take it back get rid of him too.
Yeah it’s your money too because you’re doing it job too. You’re a full time parent, cook, teacher, nurse, babysitter etc.
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Please don’t ever say -“do I have a right to be upset…bc I technically don’t work?” You have every right to be upset. But, more importantly- you are a team & you both work. Being home is harder than leaving the house to work. You do plenty! You need to change your mindset & talk to your husband.
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Get someone to babysit and get a job . I’d save and run for the hills , he doesn’t respect you clearly and you’ve let him do it for so long , he won’t ever respect you
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He is always going to put himself first. Get a job. You’re going to have to deal with his selfishness or do for yourself. If daycare wouldn’t be worth you getting a job figure out what you will need (trade or degree) to make it worth it while you have someone who is going to foot the bill. If 50% or more of marriages end in divorce why do women keep allowing themselves in situations where they are solely dependent on the man.
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You should be driving it. You’re the one with the kids
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You DO work, you just don’t get paid for it. And I’d be willing to bet you work a hell of a lot harder than he does, so, yeah, he didn’t buy a family vehicle, he bought a middle age crisis vehicle. Would you be as upset if it was something that expensive for ALL of you?
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Yes, I would be upset… actually, I’d be down right pissed, like seeing 10 diffrent shades of red kind of pissed. That’s a respect issue to me. There’s no reason he could not have picked up his phone and had a discussion with you about what was going on, or what he was thinking. It’s not like we live in a time were men controlled the money.
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No way. Not cool at all. U are caring for 4 kids…that’s a 24/7 constant and on call job. He should have absolutely consulted u. What’s his excuse for not!!!
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I have questions, does he make sure all the bills are paid? Does he make sure you have what you need for yourself and the kids? If so I would let it go. Eye opener for me , friends house, she needed grocery money , ask husband, he ask now much and handed her money, after shopping she gave him change and receipt, I’m like wtf . She wants for nothing, she loves him . He takes care of her every need and pays all the bills. She took care of his kids and home.
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Girl, I’m not even married. My BF and I live together and have a child together and neither of us would do anything like that without discussing it. It’s disrespectful of you, as is the constant reminder of you not working, especially when you’re home with 4 kids! I mean I pay over $1000 a month for daycare for my youngest. That’s ridiculous that he can’t put that into perspective and appreciate what you’re doing for your family.
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I’d be pissed honestly he needs to talk to you first and you have an army to raise I do as well 4 kids that’s hard work on its own so don’t let him put you down for staying home my husband thought like that till one day I’m like I’m going to get a job opposite of your shift so you can watch the kids he changed his tune real fast and had more appreciation for me but girl that’s a big purchase and you have kids he sounds like a man child 🤷
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Call and get pricing for all 4 of your kids to be in daycare and have the quote sent to you. Then slap that quote down to show him your financial contribution a month. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is more than he brings home.
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It literally directly harms you if you miss a payment or he loses it, because your credit is tied together. Honestly, when you are married, everything that your husband or you get should be signed by both of you, since it becomes both if your problems. I would be absolutely livid, to not only add a huge financial burden on our family, but to also use 5000 without asking for himself. Regardless of what anyone says, it’s your credit, too, and means that he made a decision that involves you without you.
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I mean, if he takes care of the finances and he is confident you can afford it without sacrificing other things, I could come to terms with it eventually.
Being a stay at home mama of 4 kids or hell even for just 1 is a full time job regardless of the fact that you don’t get paid! That’s why they say it takes a village to raise these sweet babies. 
You have every right to be mad. You are married that is BOTH of your money, not just his. And with a big purchase like that if he had even an ounce of respect for you he would have talked to you first because that’s what you do when you’re married. Clearly people don’t know how marriage works and that you also have to think of the other person. 
Start sending him invoices for childcare, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc and then divorce his ass and take the durango since he doesn’t seem to have an ounce of respect for you as his partner and mother of his kids.
Whether you work or not, the bills, finances, and purchases impact you too!
My husband discusses it with me before he purchases anything over a certain amount, as it will impact us both, and the money is ‘our’ money.
And this isnt something like going out and buying a couch or something, a car is a HUGE commitment. It’s expensive, long term, and continual. I’d be LIVID.
He’s disregarding you, belittling you, and not really respecting you or your thought. I’m so sorry hun.
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For that car payment you could afford a babysitter to have your own money so he cannot use that against you. I will never feel dependent on someone again. In my opinion, all major purchases should be discussed. Especially if you are not in the position where money is not an issue.
Yeah he most definitely should have talked with you about that!!!
I’d he madddddddddd. I mean wouldn’t be so bad if he got a new vehicle and was like around the price or not much more. He should talk to you first anyways but… 700 more a month 
wowwwwwww. So ask him what your next big gift. Everything better be paid for.
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He has the me syndrome needs the we syndrome
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Mine went and purchased a hookah lounge… And still thinks it was ok…
You have every right to be upset mad angry. Though is it worth it to be that way? He’d done it either way. It’s now you who needs to sneek out and buy yourself something nice and expensive 5 grand sounds good see how he likes those apples.
I would lose my mind 
You do actually work, taking care of your kids is a full time+ thankless job! And him purchasing a vehicle directly impacts you, your kids, and your life. I would be absolutely furious.
Yes you do I’m a stay at home mom and I have raised hell about stuff like that because emergencies do happen I’d rather be able to put 20 up than pay more in bills
We have been married almost 55 years and have always discussed all large purchases and even smaller ones!
You taking care of the house and kids is work tell him to find a sitter and have him pay for it while you look for a job since he wants to make all financial decisions cause he is the only one working he will soon regret it and beg you to stay home
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I would be upset with my man making a big financial decision without consulting me first. Especially if it wasn’t necessary