Been with husband close to 11 years, have 2 young children. Been married going on 2 years. Husband chose to go to fishing tournament on our first year wedding anniversary mind you it was chosen because of time of year. I made other plans rather then stay home and cry. He bothers to call me in the evening to ask if I wanted to go to dinner, I said no I made plans already since I sat around all day, nothing was ever discussed on him fishing or dinner. this was after we did nothing for valentines day. I vowed last year, dating anniversary, wedding anniversary, valentineâs day and anything meant to celebrate couples I was out. our first Anniversary should have meant something and I feel just as important as actual wedding day. Iâm still obviously angry and have shared this several times throughout the year. He makes reference to going out for 2nd wedding anniversary and I said nope not interested, explained how he hurt me enough that I wonât make a deal about nothing from here on. I still donât think he understands how he hurt me. Do I still have the right to be so upset a year later?
Omg get some real problems 
You do have a right to be upset about it but I suggest you talk to him again she find a way through it.
I think you should let him organise something for the 2nd anniversary.
I honestly think he knows he fucked up and is trying to make right by it now! I think you should go
Given that you have been together 11 years, why is the 1st wedding anniversary anymore important than the first 10 you were together? Pick bigger issues to complain aboutâŚor better yet grow upâŚ
You have a right to be upset but you are going to have to forgive him at some point.
Being upset, sure. But if he is trying you need to meet him half way. If you donât your marriage wonât last
Holding grudges in a new marriage?
Sounds healthy.
I recommend getting over it or youâll never make it through when sh^% actually hits the fan.
You need to let it go or you might as well divorce him. You canât torture the guy forever because of one mistakeâŚknowing youre not perfect neither. Call a truceâŚif you really do love him let this go. If not it will eat you alive and your marriage will die and your own bitterness will be to blame. It sounds like he is trying to make it right on a few occasions but youâre not even giving him a chance to do so.
I believe marriage has many compromises and complications this is just a small mole Hill youâre making into a mountain give him a chance to make things right not fair of you to write off every couples holiday because youâre unable to forgive, forgiveness goes a long way holding in anger is poison.
,oh wow I wish I could trade you problems 
You need to figure out where the real problem is⌠bc its honestly not the fishing trip.
You have a right to be upset but the fact youâre so upset and canât let it go even when heâs trying to fix it is a worry. Did you have issues getting him to commit to marriage? Sounds like this stems from something more and has become a trigger more than anything
Hahahaha oh wow how petty.
You have every right to feel the way you feel however it does seem he wants to try to make you feel better I think you should let him.
While you have every right to be upset youâre not allowing any way to get through it. Either you both find a way to work through it together or just walk away now because itâs not healthy at all.
Going about it this way will ruin your marriage. Talk it out and forgive him. Pride will ruin everything.
Be upset for that time being. Donât be petty and get over it. Why ruin the rest of your life with him over one day.
Compromise is the key to success
Oh my. Tell me you hold a grudge without telling me you hold a grudge. Jeez
Your being petty and need to grow up. Atleast hes trying to make plans with you.
Not tryna be mean but you sound kinda childish. Youâre married talk things out and move past things. It wont be a happy marriage if yâall keep throwing things from the past up
You have a right to be upset, but let the man make up for it. Marriage wonât last if you hold grudges and make him feel guilty forever, at least heâs trying to fix it 
We donât marry for special occasions and anniversaries.
Itâs been a year⌠You HAD a right to be upset⌠Now to not want to celebrate things with him because of 1 mistake is petty. Your marriage wonât move forward if you keep throwing his past mistake all the time. He is trying to make it up to you, he knows he made a mistake but your being petty about it. Especially a year later.
It sounds like your being super petty. Yes I understand why you were upset. You still could have went to dinner or did something for all the holidays you listed. Instead you chose to be angry and lost the chance to make those memories and filled your first year with bitterness.
You cant hold onto anger forever and expect a healthy relationship. At some point you need to put away the scorecard and stop keeping bad points as the bases for your relationship and move on. Getting hurt is understandable, holding a grudge is not.
Grow up. Honestly. I dont think the fishing thing was booked on purpose on your wedding anniversary. Now he is trying and you are being a spoilt brat
You shouldâve told him from the start how upset it was making. Holding a grudge is just going to make you miserable. You either need to talk it out and forgive or leave 
To those making jokes about âI wish this was our biggest problem, what are gonna do when things actually get badâ this woman is VERY lucky to have been with her man 11 years and one of their problems is he didnât celebrate their anniversary. (Which to me is actually quiet important also) so instead of making comments about how theyâll never last maybe worry about your problems that are apparently much worse and wonder why your relationship is so complicated
As for you momma, I Def get being upset. And last year you were in the right for sure. Anniversaries are very important to me also. It means alot if they go out of their way to do something special on a day rhats important and after 11 years together he should by now what would bother you ect. However, I would try to give him a chance. Sit down and talk about it and make it clear why it bothered you then let him apologize and move past it momma. Goodluck and happy anniversary!
If you want to stay married you should probably get over it and let him make up for it 
This is so childish. Shouldnât every day matter? You are throwing a hissy fit. If this is how you act in a marriage, your marriage is doomed. Grow upđ
You married a fisherman during fishing season. He offered to celebrate with you and you acted like an a$$.
If youâre still mad a year later you might as well get divorced.
Do you plan on being married for the next few years like most people or do you want to grow old together and be happy? Please stop being petty.
This isnât important⌠I ow heâs a person and has feelings too. Brig petty in my opinion
Keep it up and you wonât have to worry about what heâs doing for your third anniversary. Youâre ridiculous.
Some things you need to let go and this is one of them
How long are you going to hold on to it? Get over it
Life is too short. Youâre just going to ruin further special occasions. He messed up royally no doubt but dont make this an issue or hes going to end doing nothing at all ever and youâre going to be even more upset.
Let him make up for it, it was a year ago. Your marriage is going to go nowhere but downhill if thatâs how youâre going to act.
We dont celebrate but we do acknowledge get on with our day either plan to be together during the day or after we had our own day planned out
Get over it already seriously itâs been over a year. Youâre being very pitiful honestly. If you canât let it go then thereâs something else deep inside you that you have buried and thatâs the problem and itâs got nothing to do with what happened a year ago trust me. If you continue to be pitiful youâre going to ruin your marriage over something sooooo stupid honestly. If you canât let it go and want to be a huge baby over it then itâs time to look at divorce
Youâre being manipulative
Yeah no, a year later? Thats super petty⌠I get being upset at the time but over a year? Nah girl. There much worse you could be upset about than thatâŚ
I think you had the right to be upset, but you are blowing the whole thing out of proportion and acting childish now. Let him make it up to you. Let him know that certain things are important to you and it makes you happy. And listen when he tells you what things are important to him. Try your best to compromise as much as possible.
If he died tomorrow, what would be your thoughts then?
Love and forgive him, we all make mistakes and we all hurt each other, many times by being thoughtless, forgive him and move forward
I mean yes you have a right to be upset. But now youâre just being petty. Holding a grudge to the point to refuse to celebrate anything with him is a huge over reaction, especially a year later.
At this point you are the issue, sure it wasnt a great look to go fishing but U could have rescheduled the day. But no no more romantic days. Seems a bit toxic to me. Somedays you are going to miss days but if this is your way of handling things you will end up alone.
You should not need a day to celebrate. I understand where you are coming from but if you discussed this with him and he wants to make it right then who is in the wrong now. I know every couple does stuff differently but those days mean nothing if you donât celebrate every day with each other. Maybe Iâm old school but my hubby knows I donât want him to buy me flowers or take me out to eat in Valentineâs Day because itâs all about money that we could save to do stuff with the family and stuff is priced up that time of year. Our anniversary is special regardless if we are together or not because we both know we love each other. Now Iâm not saying you shouldnât go and celebrate but expecting to do so because thatâs what couples do is something maybe he didnât understand. All Iâm saying is if you are still this mad maybe it wasnât about the fishing trip to begin with. Enjoy each other and celebrate each other every day. Yes there are going to be days you canât stand each other but loving each other doesnât demand a day.
Okay I get being hurt about it, honestly I really do. Guys donât think about things the way women do. But once you told him and he is now asking and trying to make plans and you are still saying no and holding a grudge, itâs on you. It seems like he understood what he did wrong and is trying to make it right, but you just arenât having any of it, and that falls at your feet, not his.
I completely understand that youâre still upset about your 1st anniversary not going as youâd hoped, but honestly itâs time to let it go and move on. Let him make it up to you. Holding onto past issues will only cause future issues. Youâve been together a long time. Donât let this one thing ruin the rest of your lives.
I think thatâŚyes, it hurt. And your feelings are valid. I also think you should give him another chance. Maybe on that chance express EXACTLY how you feel. That is so important. That way he can never make that mistake again. Men are lol weird.
I donât know the last time we went out for any couple related holidaysâŚif everâŚI married my husband in archery season⌠I am lucky I got him to the alter during that time of year lol I say take the high road and forgive⌠it will be better in the long run
Youâve been together 11 years. Go with him fishing, and go out another day together?
If you no longer wish to be invested in relationship milestones thats fine, if your doing scorched earth to punish him for going fishing instead of celebrating then you need to ask yourself what color of martyrdom looks best on you, just slap him with a wet fish and move on
Let him take you out, it sounded like he was trying to make it up to you. I didnât get a valentineâs day gift from my boyfriend. I told him that I was hurt but I knew that he would make up for it later. You canât really hold grudges and expect to be married.
Donât hold a grudge. Yes, he hurt you but you have countless more years with this man and each one should be valued more than the last. You holding on to your hurt/grudges will make your marriage a million times more difficult.
If I was with someone 11 years and then married I probably wouldnât think the actual anniversary was that important either. Idk I feel bad when intimate holidays come up and donât go as I imagine but I also think us ladies could show initiate and do some planning too.
Iâd just plan a special date night for another day.
Pick your battles. Life is short, if he were to die tomorrow would you be happy that you held onto a grudge for so long? Iâm sorry youâre hurt. But you spoke your peace with it. So move on⌠life is too short.
Youâve been together 11years! Give the guy a break! Sounds like you need a reality check!
Iv been with my husband 12yrs and married 18 weeks I couldnât give 2 shits if he went fishing on our wedding anniversary I certainly would act like a brat and carry it on and on and on!
If he died tomorrow in an accident could you live with your pettiness?? Life is too short for this crap!
My question is does he show you his love and treats you well the other 360 ish days of the year? If no then thatâs a bigger issue. If yes then why do these specific days matter more than him being great all the time? Do you plan dates for yall? If not maybe try that. My husband was raised totally different from me. My husband had never celebrated small holidays. So to him those were non events. His parents were divorced so he had never had that modeled for him. My dad became legit his best friend and my dad taught him to be a better husband. It can be a learning curve.
Since I love my husband I would want him to have a fantastic day and would have sent him happily on his fishing tournament. We could have dinner later that night or something. Youâre not going to have a marriage that lasts long or a happy one if you want to continue with this. Everybody does different things and everybody makes mistakes but if you want to hold on to any little tiny thing youâre going to make yourself miserable and youâre going to drive him away. Pick your battles and they should be something youâre willing to die on a sword for otherwise let it go and become the best person you can be. Youâre not being the best person you can be here
What he did was Lame and shows his feelings towards you and his lack of Character and thoughtfulness
Your grudge is going to crush both you and your husband if you donât let it go. He screwed up, yes. Talk it out and let it go.
If your still mad a year later then you should seek counseling. You may really need to unpack this and counseling is a great road for healing.
Maybe its me but a specific date doesnt mean a thing. Reschedule⌠and please donât be so petty and childish⌠you dont sound like a parent you sound like a kindergartener⌠tit for tat
Do you have the right YES but should you be a year later NO âŚwhat did you vow⌠what about forgiveness if you donât want to forget ok âŚbut let it go
He seems like he is making an effort to make things right and you are rejecting those attempts. You can only be mad at yourself if you arenât allowing him the opportunity to fix what he did to upset you.
If you want to be mad, be mad. You donât have to have a time line for it. Donât go to dinner. Tell him you made plans to go fishing and then leave the room. If he doesnât care, why should you?
Youâre being petty and only making yourself miserable. Youâre husband is making plans for the new anniversary after messing up the first and youâre not letting him. Stop being bitter and move on before it wrecks your marriage
Let it go or he might stop asking
OK but if heâs trying to make it up to you stop being stubborn. Youâll never be pleased if you canât stop being so hard headed
So youâre bitter about the first anniversary and plan to ruin all the rest? I donât mean that in a rude way. But thatâs how I read it.
Yâall have been together too long to let something like this come between you.
Pick your battles is my advice. Or be single is what ive chosen its great. Never disappointed in man this way
This is so petty and the type of toxicity that is going to ruin your marriage. Donât be the one to poison the grass. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Also I just want to say that all these women in here putting laughing faces and saying things like grow up, calling her feelings childish, get over it, telling her to get real problemsâŚthis is a real person with real feelings and she came here for help and support, not to have others laugh at her feelings or to say hurtful things in reply to her feelings. This may not be big to you all but to her it obviously is and sheâs still hurting over it. Give her some positive replies, not all the negative feedback
Sounds like you are both being dicks but at different times.
But you both need to stop it and get over it.
My husband and I just recently had our 20th wedding anniversary. On our 10th his mom passed away completely unexpectedly 3 days before !! And now for our 20th anniversary his dad went into the hospital a week before and was fighting to live for a month !! Other years we are lucky if someone can watch our 3 kids just to go to dinner⌠You are being ridiculous!! Of course your anniversary is important but you can celebrate on a different day and you donât need to celebrate the day he proposed and dating anniversary etc⌠Be grateful heâs still with you after all these years and your petty dramaâŚ
Umm, he is obviously trying to make up and do better and you are to busy being childish and bitter. You clearly arenât mature enough to be in a marriage that requires work and compromise.
Youâre feelings are valid, and no, he may not realize how much he hurt you.
With that being said, let it go. I look at it this way⌠you love him. He loves you. Youâre married. You have the rest of your lives to spend together. My husband and I started a tradition when we got married, that we go away for the weekend, every year on our wedding anniversary. Other than that, we donât celebrate our dating anniversary, we donât celebrate Valentines Day, we donât really even celebrate Christmas because we have our entire lives to spend together, to do whatever we want, whenever we want (children considered). But sometimes even for our anniversary, we donât get to go on our anniversary or the weekend of. Sometimes we celebrate it a week before, or a week after⌠or two weeks after. Sometimes he has to work, or I have to work, or the kids have something going on. And to be even more honest, I wouldnât even care about our anniversary weekend trip. He shows me every single day that he loves me, he always tries to do the things I want, he takes care of his family.
So yes, you had the right to be upset, but him trying to make plans for your 2nd anniversary shows that he was listening to you and that he realizes (now) what celebrating your anniversary means to you. So tell him to plan your 2nd anniversary, and in the mean time, enjoy a happy marriage!
It really comes down to people love on the day-to-day basis. They choose to love or not to love every single day. You are not choosing to love on your anniversary or any marriage holiday, So if youâre not choosing to love on those days why are you upset that he didnât? Start celebrating your love on a day-to-day basis. Look at all the days you have chosen not to love since your anniversary. So he chose one day and youâve chosen how many?
Life is way too short. Get over it
You should have gone fishing with him!
Personally Iâm not one to make a big deal out of dates but that doesnât mean your feelings arenât valid, a year later seems to be a bit much but thatâs just my opinion. Easier to let it go and be happy then dwell on the past
Why are you letting something that really isnât all that bad, bug you so badly? He offered another chance and you stuck your nose up and remain mad? Thatâs immature on your own part. That was him trying to make amends.
Donât hold this so deep in your soul. Itâs taking away from your life. Tomorrow isnât promised to anybody & âdonât always believe what you thinkâ. I hope you guys can talk this out in a way that you are both heard & validated. And Iâm hoping for a really awesome weekend away soon for the both of you 
Youâre crazy
And immature
Make up,my husband was a big tournament fisherman too, I didnât mind him fishing because we were together everyday.Now I live with a broken heart everyday because covid took him away from me.Please just love and live like itâs your last day .
Yes but he sounds like he has tried to do more to make up for it an you are lucky some women donât get any type of romantic life from their spouse so you need to let it go an make memories while you can life is to short for being bitter all the time!
A year later? Stop now 
Only if you donât care about your relationship. I mean seriously, be an adult and get over it. He was inconsiderate and you compounding that will not make things better. Forgive, forget and get on with your marriage.
I would be. I canât just âget over itâ. Iâm not built like that. I would hurt for a long time to come.
Oh come on⌠yes you are upset but its not the end of the world⌠there are way more important things to worry about and be upset about is all im saying
you sound rediculous! he went fishing on my anniversary so for
now on we arenât celebrating any holidays related to couples - grow up & move on. my god 
I understand why youâre upset. But communicate with him and hopefully the many years to come will be different.
You can still be upset but donât let that stop you from enjoying your life and marriage
So youâve been together 11 years and now youâre upset about not getting gifts or âmaking plansâ? the man went fishing for a part of the day and asked you to dinner. You have no reason to be mad about anything. You turned him down on the plan he tried to make. And wonder why he âdoesnât tryâ?
You might want to ask yourself if you screw up do you want to be forgiven or do you want it held against you and brought up repeatedly?