Do I have a right to be upset?

Anonymous post: On Christmas Eve while taking pictures of my kids under there Christmas I used my husband phone for the pictures. I was heartbroken when I discovered he had an account on the website pornhub. I don’t know how it works and if been a member is free or what can someone informed about this? I talked about it with my husband and of course I was upset an heartbroken to discover this because I never expected this especially after I had our third baby a year ago. So that just me feel not so pretty. Well I thought we had moved passed that and I have found him again on this website! He says is because he is trying to spice things up. I don’t believe him. Two days ago we had sex and it was the same day he was on the website before we had sex. Now I just feel used and not loved. He is like a stranger to me because again I didn’t expected this. It worries me because we were separated in 2017 after he was supposedly talking to a female worker who was all just friendship but he hide all the conversations with her and told me he didn’t loved me even before I knew about her. So I am not sure what to think. I don’t even want to be intimate with him anymore after this. Please can somebody just helped me understand how this website works and if is possible for him to cheat on me with females on there? Also anyone had experienced this and what did you do? I am honestly thinking of just giving up with him. Thanks

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-be-upset/16859

I don’t know about an account but you can go on pornhub.com and view free porn. Is he has an account maybe he can talk to women on there? I don’t know. Men are piggies

Do you consider him watching porn as cheating? I’m just trying to get an understanding

It’s a free website but you can pay for the premium to watch “better” videos. It’s just a porn site not to meet anyone or at least not that I have seen. I mean if he’s still having sex with you I don’t think its an issue unless it bothers you that he watches it. If it does bother you than you need to have a conversation with him about it. I think its normal unless he’s using it instead of sex with you that’s the only time it’s been an issue with me.

As far as I’m aware there’s no way of him meeting anyone on it , it’s just exclusive videos or porn

It’s a porn website where ppl can watch other ppl have sex and perform sexual acts for free! A lot of men watch porn and most of them don’t have a reason other than they’re men who enjoy sex but that doesn’t mean they are cheating or want to cheat. It’s kind of natural for ppl to be interested in sexual acts that don’t involve them or the spouse, like a fantasy of some sort. Maybe he really is trying to get some pointers on how to spice things up.

firstly, if he was going to cheat he would do it weather he was doing it through pornhub or any other way. there is no way to stop someone cheating. if he was trying to spice things up then he should’ve brought you into the loop and mentioned using porn to spice things up. if he is hiding conversations that he says are innocent then why is he hiding them? that instantly makes him look shifty and guilty. i go on pornhub but i don’t have an actual account, why would i need one? unless i was posting my own content or messaging people. you don’t need an account to view so that would make me think he’s a bit dodgy.

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My daughter’s father is a software engineer for some of the worlds most popular porn sites. When his lazy wakes up… I’ll ask him.

Honestly, it’s not a big deal. It has nothing to do with how he views you. I used to worry about that stuff when I was younger. It’s completely normal behavior for both men and women. Maybe try watching it together now and then! It’s definitely not worth throwing away an otherwise good marriage

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So it is very natural for anyone one to watch porn. I watch porn every once in a blue moon. It can spice things up in your marriage. That is why I mainly watch it is to get new tips and tricks to use on my husband. You go on and click a video and it plays. Now I have seen people get addicted to watching porn. That can be bad for sure. It can be addictive just like everything else. I would say not to worry about it to much. I don’t think you can hit up other people on the site? I am pretty sure it is just videos. Maybe try to watch a few just to see something new in the bedroom. My husband watches porn but never in front of me. It is something you do when no one is around kind of thing.

It’s porn girl. It’s normal. If you have that many insecurities then you need to work on them rather than take those out on him. Often people bring past traumas and insecurities into their next relationships and they take it out on the other person when the fact is you have to deal with those yourself. Porn hub is legit, it’s got some good stuff.

Sounds like you have been there too long

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He was hiding females and saying he didn’t love you before…sounds like more issues than just a website issue. If the trust is gone, there can be no foundation and the relationship will crumble.

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Pornhub is free. It’s not for hookups or chats or anything like that. Get on. Watch videos. Close browser. Every male watches porn, whether you like it or know about it or not.

Better pornhub than an affair. Watch it with him if you’re so interested in it :woman_shrugging:

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Porn is porn. Women and men both watch it… try watching it with him. Spice ya love life up.

So making an account on pornhub is free, if you want the premium membership you need to pay for a subscription. With the free account you just have access to the free content on the site. This is only for free videos or pictures. If he wanted to watch live videos or chat with the women on the site he would have to sign up for a premium membership and pay for the subscription. I can’t speak to your feelings about it though. My husband and I watch porn separately and together. We feel it does give a little spice to the sexual relationship and it gives us ideas on new things to try in the bedroom. But if you aren’t comfortable with it you really need to have a sit down with him and thoroughly explain your feelings to him. Don’t hold back on telling him how it makes you feel and why it makes you feel that way. If y’all can’t come to an agreement on it then to save your feelings it might be time to walk away.

Both of you need to compromise( if that’s what you want), go to couple therapist or divorce. Nip it in the bud…find out if it’s worth saving. The porn issue isn’t an issue with me ( watch porn regularly in relationship or not) but do what you’re comfortable with.

I watch porn without my husband if I am stressed out have an O can help with that. That doesn’t mean I love my husband any less it just means when he is at home in the evening so are the kids and we don’t have sex a lot bc we are with the kids. We watch porn together also sometimes and I’m sure he watches it without me too and it’s fine. Not like he is going to town to look for a hookup. It’s completely normal.

You’re worried about the wrong thing . The porn isn’t the problem … maybe see if the issues from 2017 have actually been fixed first

Use your legs and walk away :rofl:

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If you have spoken to him & told him it makes you feel uncomfortable that he is watching it & he goes back & keeps on doing it. That’s not okay. People love to say it’s normal for everyone to watch porn on the regular it’s really not lol. Sounds like a lot more is going on here. It’s clear the issue from 2017 is still weighing on your mind. You don’t trust him & without trust there is not relationship. Seek some counseling.

Pornhub is just that. A porn sight. Its not for meeting people.

A solid foundation in a relationship is trust without trust everything crumbles.

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The insecurities are within you unfortunately. Porn hub is just for watching porn, however, that doesn’t minimize your concerns. Some people enjoy watching porn while others don’t
It sounds like you would not be interested in such thing, so he discretely does it.
With that being said, your feelings are justified, but they’re rooting from something within you… you need to address that or it will continue to cause trust issues, insecurities and feelings of worthlessness throughout your life.

Always remember you are in control of your emotions, feelings, thoughts and actions
Yes we allow others to impact them, by letting them in and it’s up to them to decide whether they respect us enough to address the concern and change the behavior.

If you’ve told him how you feel about it and he chooses not to change the behavior; you’re left with a choice. Some times not an easy one. But do YOU respect yourself enough to say “this is something I won’t put up with”

Just do the things for him that the porn girls do. Loosen up a little and give him some wild Hollywood sex.

My head hurts each and every time I see these questions mainly because of the answers. We have so little expectations of men it’s ridiculous. I’m so tired of women telling other women “at least he ain’t cheating” last I check lusting is cheating. Cheating is more than the physical aspect of it. And just cause you are ok with doesn’t give you the right to tell others to suck it up (maybe you have lower standards).
I’d be damn to stay in a relationship where my feelings, thoughts are not being respected. If my significant other is so keen to “spice things up” then we will work on it TOGETHER. See a therapist, learn together there is nothing pornhub can teach me

Baby, let that man beat his meat in peace. And from what it sounds like is he wants it multiple times a day, and most times men last longer if they get off before sex. At least it’s a website and not actually stepping out on your marriage…. Idk me personally I don’t care if my man is on the hub, it keeps him occupied when I’m not in the mood🤷🏼‍♀️

With just the pornhub, I wouldn’t worry too much. My husband like to watch a little porn now and then, and so do I. The past issues are what’s making it so hard for you to accept I think. Without trust, a relationship is doomed, in my experience anyways. Maybe some therapy, for the both of you, to get to the root of the problem, would be a good idea, before just walking away?!

You’ve never read a romance novel? You’ve never watched the Notebook? Yes these are a different types of emotional/sexual release. Women and men release sexual tension differently. In most cases there is nothing wrong with a man watching or looking at porn. Women tend to need an emotional connection to have a sexual release, but men do not. It just makes us different. If you have trust in your relationship, watch and read away. Join in if it is something you both enjoy.

Nothing wrong with watching it. My fiance and I send videos to each other about stuff we’d like to try. But it sounds more like a trust issue than a porn issue. If you can’t trust him the relationship won’t work. You could try counseling or you cam walk away. But you deserve to be happy and you’re definitely not right now

I don’t understand why so many hate and don’t think their spouse can watch porn lol :joy: heck I have and so has my husband. Not a big deal.

People don’t realize that porn can very much be considered cheating. There’s no rules saying it’s not or is, so if it’s a boundary for you he should respect it🤷🏽‍♀️

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…I will never understand these type of questions and always feel like it’s something to look deeper at yourself for more then anything. Where your insecurities lie, why you get so hurt and question his love for you by his interest in obvious fake staged naked women on a porn site. I mean yes naked and engaging in sexual acts but everyone has fantasy’s. I can watch supernatural and say dream about Dean Winchester all day lol … Idk. Try asking basic questions I guess. Like why he likes that type of site- maybe he likes certain things or reactions or your unavailable at the times he needs release… Maybe need to spend time educating each other on each other. ‘hey I like this’ ‘hey this makes me feel ugly and not secure in this’ clear communication might help.

Many men watch porn and it doesn’t mean they don’t love and have interest in the woman they have. To them it’s a “normal” guy thing and they can’t grasp why women get so offended. Talk to him but also listening to how he feels about it. My opinion is my man can watch porn as long as he’s not physical with anyone else. Some partners mind while others don’t. The main thing is if there’s no trust in the relationship then there’s really
Nothing.

I dont know why women sit and act like porn is ok…it can cause mental health issues, desensitization, distorted reality, more sexual risky behavior, and relationship problems including sex.
It might start as something that seems “normal” but it’s not and can lead to many issues.

Only you know what your dealbreakers are. Porn isnt a big deal to me in grand scheme tho. Alot of adults indulge in porn. Its more of a selfish thing for just them without the expectation of satisfaction from another. Helps alot of humans stay sane. I wouldnt take it personally.

Hold up, the porn isn’t the problem here. You’re still with him after he said he doesn’t love you? And then there was another woman? Honey, leave, not because of the porn but because you deserve someone who says they love you and will prove it

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Should have been gave up when he said what he said, prior to baby 2 and 3!
BUT, since we’re here…pornhub is not a big deal. I watch it myself… we normally don’t watch together, idk why…
I don’t think you can meet ppl on it but there are ads that pop up with locals looking to hook up, so he can still do that through his internet browsing.
Umm, you’re gonna be so miserable til you leave anyway so seriously you might as well just leave.
OR
Stick with the scheduled programming…which is what most likely will happen

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Get rid of him if you have so many doubts

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You’re over reacting. I think you should offer to watch porn with him. It can be a very sexy and enjoyable as a couple.

I mean be happy that’s all he is doing and not talking/cheating with other women. But I can also understand how you feel :heart:

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Crap when I can’t be bothered and my partner needs a release hell watch porn with my blessing… :woman_shrugging: its not a big deal and it ain’t cheating.

Its a porn site not a dating site. Most guys watch porn, but if it makes you uncomfortable and he watches it anyway that’s disrespectful. If you can’t trust someone don’t stay in the relationship

There is nothing wrong with watching porn unless it involves a child then that is wrong if you consider it cheating or have a problem with it then why don’t you leave and then ask anyone straight up if you want to date again if they watch porn so you know ahead of time before tou get into a relationship again. To me cheating would be if my significant other lied about having sex in person with someone else. We are polyamorous and pansexual but we have rules

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If this is your only marital complaint, then consider yourself blessed. Honestly though, unless porn is a major religious taboo for yourself or your family, then watching videos on pornhub is not that big of a deal.:woman_shrugging:

She is asking what is Pornhub and if he can cheat with women on there given her wording I’m also going to guess she is not a native English speaker.(which may lead to some confusion about what pornhub actually is ) So…Pornhub is a site where people upload videos/pictures of porn (naked, sex, etc). It is VERY VERY VERY unlikely that your husband will meet anyone that he can physically cheat on you with through that site. But he can spend household money, he can find women to chat with and depending on your personal view of cheating, that may be crossing a line for you. Only you can decide. Personally, I would be more upset about the woman he was “talking” to in the past. Good luck.

Pornhub is just porn.
You will have certain religious people claiming that porn is cheating etc. But it’s literally just a visual stimulation to help you get off. A quick Google about it would have told you that it’s not a way to hook up with people.

Your previous relationship issues and lack of trust are a totally different thing though.

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Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he was hiding one “friend” from you, how many others have been hidden? The trust is already ruined, and you’re gonna spend the rest of your relationship second guessing his faithfulness. If a guy’s gonna cheat, he doesn’t need help with social media. People were cheating before any social media platforms…

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It doesn’t bother some people but it would bother me as well. If it bothers you it should be important for him to acknowledge and work on those things even if he doesn’t understand it.

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Let’s just switch perspective for a moment. Let’s just think maybe he feels he’s boring you or whatever and is trying to learn some new tricks to satisfy you. I think you should talk to him about this and not us because we aren’t in your marriage hun. He can’t link up with people on pornhub or whatever site is it. It’s just for viewing xx

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Pornhub has some content for free but you can pay for live cams etc . If you are against porn and he knows how you feel then you know what you have to do !

Dating website I’d be upset. Watching porn as long as he’s not choosing it over you I wouldn’t sweat it. Some people genuinely do have addictions to it my ex did but he was also a narcissist and a cheater and abusive. If there aren’t any other red flags maybe try to see it from his point of view? My fiancé tries to hide when he watches it but as long as he’s not engaging with someone real I don’t really mind it. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood and humans need that release. I mean I find certain actors attractive and read smutty books and he doesn’t get offended by that. You just have to be open about it.

This is why I’m not in a relationship. People are so damn lost, lol. We were never meant for this shit. Relationships/humans in general are going straight to hell in a hand basket and then wanna sit Adonis and wonder whyyyyyyyyy…

Porn is mostly harmless if it’s an every so often thing probably. However with phones/internet in your pocket, people are exposing themselves to it constantly. There’s tons of studies that have proven this isn’t good for us and stimulates the same centers in the brain that hardcore drug use does. Do people care??? No. Do they care that they’re supporting sex trafficking of the people in some of the videos they watch??? No.

It’s a problem for you, as it very well should be, because it’s not natural. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that.

He could be watching it and not know how to try those things out with you or even himself? Idk have you talked to him about it.

I see it as at least he’s not out there cheating. Hell I watch porn. It’s really not that big of a deal.

I am so sorry! He walked away from your marriage.

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In my view, it’s a transgression regardless of whether he sees other women in person. He’s cheated, told you he doesn’t love you, can’t stop watching p*rn… what more do you need to see? :woozy_face:

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I’m a computer tech that has seen what people do with their computers more than I’d like. Looking at porn is normal, it’s actually more rare to not find porn on a person’s computer wether male or female. You can’t meet people through pornhub and pornhub has a verification process for the ages of participants. Now the other things you claimed he said to you are concerning.

Make your own account and let him see your using it.

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My husband doesn’t have a porn account BUT he has an Xbox account and let me tell you! That takes way more time away than porn does! I would rather him have the porn account! Then I wouldn’t have to watch it alone :joy:

I always find it funny and strange when someone is like “omg nooo porn whyy?!?” like fk right off. Its not this evil thing. its a fantasy that wont ever be good for the bedroom IRL lol. The m3n know this.

Stop being a controlling prude and let people watch porn if they want.

He could watch lives but as far as actually physically cheating on you I don’t think that’s a possibility. Of course my husband and I both watch it because it’s free unless you want to interact with messages and stuff. It doesn’t bother me for him to just watch cause I know he is only intimate with me.

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You “accidentally“ discovered this while taking photos of your kids? BS. You snooped through his phone and now you are mad at him. You didn’t trust him to begin with. Or you are so insecure you were looking for a reason to be mad.

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He may have a porn addiction. It depends on what you’re willing to work through. If this leads to him cheating or if it’s just a addiction thing. It’s up to you. I wouldn’t internalize it. It’s not about you not being pretty enough, it’s more about him.

Your insecurities are not his responsibility. No he cannot just meet up with porn stars and sleep with them. You need to work on you, he isn’t doing anything wrong. It’s his body, he can masturbate if he wants to :roll_eyes:

Talk to him and lay everything out on the table. Ask the Hard questions ones that you may not want to no and pray maybe try counseling. If both of you agree to a plan to strengthen your marriage then it will be ok. Try to do things together walking playing a bored game even watching a movie or just talking make each other laugh. Just remember sex starts out side of the bed room. And you love him and if he loves you then yall will work things out. Marriage is Hard work and yall are just off track.

Am I the only weird one but it does not bother me at all that my significant other watches porn.

Why can’t woman understand some men watch porn? Is he cheating? No. 🤦

Me and my husband watch it together🤣 but everyone is different I do not however care that he watches it. If a man says he doesn’t watch porn he’s a liar…

Pornhub is simply a porn site. You watch people have sex. It’s NOT a dating or hook up site. NO he cheat on you on there.

Maybe he’s just a cheater but I watch pornhub sometimes :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Porn is very tricky. Some men can watch it and not let it effect their marriage and/or relationship, and others can’t handle it. Men are visual creatures and they get that stimulation with porn. They can have any woman they want and after a while, their wife and/or partner doesn’t do it for them anymore.

Pornhub is just a website with amateur porn its not a place to hook up with other women. 99% of men watch porn at some point they’re more likely to want visual stimulation. Hes not even paying for it as pornhub is free. I guarantee the women here bragging their man doesn’t do it just has them hide it from them. Which is less healthy than watching porn imo

Ok, so I do not think the biggest issue is the porn site at this point. You have every right to be upset about anything that upsets you. While I am not against porn as it makes zero difference to me if my husband watches it or not, I do understand why people are in some cases. From a psychological standpoint it does have negative effects on both relationships and the individual watching it. (Look it up) However you told him it bothered you, he did not respect that. My question is, did you two come to a compromise? Men are visual, they need visual stimulation (in most cases) Or did you simply expect him to stop what he was doing because you did not like it without any regard to his wants and needs? This is a two way street. With all of that said, he was talking to a female coworker? That is unacceptable and explains the underlying issue here-lack of trust. That is understandable and actually reinforces your right to be upset. He was talking to another female, now he prefers to look at other females, yes these are all issues and need to be addressed. I get his excuse of “using it to spice things up” but if he is not actually spicing things up, then it is in fact just an excuse. Either way, he should respect your feelings as he is the cause of them. He should also try to respect your boundaries as best he can (I don’t know if that means giving up porn entirely, but you two need to discuss it) The true issue is trust, if you can not trust him things will never get better. Now it is porn, later on it will be something else if the trust is not rebuilt. That is his job to do, but also your job to be willing to accept his efforts. Otherwise, you need to go your separate ways. Good luck and I hope you find what is best for you.

Still sad how many of these guys have literal porn addictions and still can’t fuck. And then the ones that cheat what you trying to do share your disability with everybody.

It’s… it’s porn… you can’t really message people on those accounts. You can leave comments, but I seriously doubt he is. I have a pornhub account, just so I could buy their merchandise (I have a badass pornhub shirt lmao.) I do understand that porn is a big deal for some, so I get your feelings being hurt but don’t think he’s stepping out over watching porn.

I’m not okay with p0rn. Just not something I’ve ever been, nor will be into. I make that clear up front, it’s a boundary and if someone isn’t okay with that then we aren’t compatible. You are 100% fine to establish that boundary now. As far as him having done it already, draw a line and let him know how it makes you feel and allow him room to change, assuming he’s willing to. If not, there are plenty out there who don’t need it and will respect that about you. If I felt this way about my husband I would leave or work hard to fix it!

Your feelings are valid momma. Sit him down and share your feelings with him. Tell him how it makes you feel. Stay strong girl.

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Why dont you try watchin it with him?? I personally dont have an issue with it. Im not afraid to admit i watch it sometimes but i also have watched it with my partner.

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DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR HAVING BOUNDARIES. I look at porn as cheating :woman_shrugging: shit don’t fly with me. If he has to look at other women vs the thousands of photos he has of me that’s not right. You have every right to be upset!!

All i know about having an account is that you can watch more full videos instead of clips an you can watch lives but as for meeting people idk about that i also don’t know if there is even a way to chat but see i don’t look to do that so i wouldn’t know.
I’ve been really surprised by the amount of post i see from women having a problem with their man watching porn but hey it’s your life you are comfortable with what you are comfortable with i personally have no problem with porn but i also watch with my man. I don’t see it as a betrayal but that’s my relationship not yours

Oh my if you really feel that way about porn that’s sad :joy: it’s jus porn

It leads to other things. Google porn addiction. Make him go to Christian couples counciling

In the beginning of my marriage I was so hurt by my husband watching porn. After a while I just didn’t care anymore :joy: I know he watches it and it is what it is. He’s human and I prefer him to watch porn then to go out and do something with someone else. Now if it’s affecting y’all’s sex life then there might be a problem but if all it is is just watching porn…you need to work on yourself my dear. It sounds like insecurities and I’ve been there so I know. Counseling is for everyone!! Helps so much. Good luck.

I don’t see why someone has to be rude to someone asking for advice the sarcasm and some of the rude way of giving the advice . I say do what your instincts tell you to .trust your gut feeling if he said he doesn’t love you and his things from you he doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone who is going to be faithful and loyal and only have eyes for you not any other woman weather it’s in person or porn. Especially since you gave him the gift of children. I hate knowing people do this to the people they make a commitment to and knowing your being hurt like this is not right at all. Just know whatever you decide to do weather stay or leave I will be praying for you and I hope if you don’t stay with him you find that person who treats you the way you deserve to be treated and loved you unconditionally like a husband should. Remember it doesn’t matter about what your outer appearance is it’s the soul that counts any can be beautiful on the outside but mean on the inside. Find you a man that loves your personality and who you are as a person before your appearance. When you love someone soul first you also love the rest of them.

It’s just porn - not a dating site

I mean…if you have 3 kids you might not be getting it in that often so he wants to get a load out (sorry to be graphic) before yall do it so that it last longer than a few mins. Or he doesn’t know when you’re gonna wanna do it so he is just getting it out of his system so he isn’t getting grumpy over it or whatever. Long as he keeping it in the him I think it’s ok

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All men look at porn whether you want to believe it or not. If you have that much doubt leave cause you’ll just ruin it with all the drama y’all were separated at the time he was talking to someone else yea it may hurt but really we’re in 2022 either drop it and move on or leave.

I don’t get how you accidentally discover that whilst taking photos

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Once I got over my stigma that it’s nothing but icky and bad, it’s helped add a little spice for us. Tell him you want to watch it with him and do it. All that being said… Since he’s been unfaithful before and told you he didn’t want you, I can see where you feel rejected and undesired by him. But you need to tell him how that makes you feel. Start looking at things to spice it up in the bedroom.

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Wait…he told you he didn’t love you in 2017 and you are still with him?

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So he told you 5 years ago that he didn’t love you and YOU STAYED.

You found out he was watching porn, you didn’t like it, but YOU STAYED.

He said he was trying to spice things up (you didn’t believe him and thought he lied), but YOU STAYED.

Now you suspect he’s cheating on you. My guess is you’re probably right because he knows you are going to stay.

The issue here is not with him or the porn. The issue is you and why you keep allowing these behaviors that go against what you stand for? You have become a proverbial door mat. This time why not try something different? Why not LEAVE?

Ok… my issue would not be with the porn… my issue would be with everything that happened and was said in 2017… but thats not why you’re here. So as an extremely sex positive and opened minded long time GM of 2 sexual health & wellness boutiques, porn is normal. Most men look at porn… many women do too! I’m like the only oddball I know that doesn’t… but to be upset at a man for looking at porn is like being upset at a man for masturbation… It’s going to happen. Men especially are very sexual beings, many times beyond the understanding of their partners. You really should not take it personal at all. Now if he is never initiating sex with you, or even turning you down for sex, but still watching porn, thats a problem and I could see how that would be very hurtful. Maybe open your mind a little to learning more about human sexuality. Follow his cues about wanting to spice things up and BE THAT SPICE for him so he doesn’t feel the need to turn to porn so often! Go to a local sexual wellness boutique. Not a nasty hole in the wall place, but a nice boutique with a helpful, educated staff. Buy some lingerie, get some toys, some flavored lube, just something that you think would be fun to try and get into it! Go out to dinner with him without the kids, put on some vibrating panties and when you get to the restaurant hand him the remote and give him “the look”… when he asks what it’s for, smile and tell him to “press the button and find out…” sex can get stagnant doing it with the same person, the same positions, for years and years. Sometimes all you need is a little bit of excitement to get his attention back on to you and off the porn… I’d be happy to give you suggestions and help you out if you want to send me a private message! Just like the emotional parts of relationships takes work, so does the intimacy… you have to keep that spark going otherwise it’ll die out. You may just experience your own sexual awakening trying new things that you’ve never tried before! Best of luck mama! :heart:

My husband and I been together for 19 years and we both check out pornhub so I’m no help …

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It’s jus porn I’d rather my husband watch porn than cheat

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I have never honestly seen an issue with porn. Sexual health is just as important in a relationship. He cannot cheat on your for just watching porn. And for spicing things up there are things, positions etc that you see on porn that wouldn’t of been thought of. I think comparing this to the 2017 incident are seeming some unresolved issues with trust that may be helped with counseling or just talking to one another.

If his watching this site bothers you, and he won’t respect your feelings, then you have problems. His deceptive behavior by not telling you means he already knew how you would react. And he did it anyway. Having personal conversations with another coworker and hiding all the messages is also cheating. Cheating isn’t narrowly defined by having sex with someone you’re not married to.

In your place, I’d be packing up his stuff and tell him to give you the house key when he got home.

I don’t mean to sound like the horrible person here. If a man watches porn its fine.but he shouldnt have to hide it. If it is an issue for you, talk to him about it and if talking he doesnt see within your reason, then maybe walk away, but it does work both ways, if he addresses something he doesnt Like you doing, you should try aswell, you can work through these things together. Don’t be hating on him for the porn, find out why theres a route to that, im not saying Check yourself, as a mother we go through tons of issues, and with the changes our bodies take, we lose the confidence we once had, so intimacey becomes a fading thing, so try and discuss and work through it both of you, if it is then that you feel it is not worth it, rather walk away