I step stepmom, , and it’sits our week to have four years old. We run into a mom at Walmart. We say our highs, and I can tell after 20 minutes of mom saying," I miss you so much" and “I wish I could take you to work with me” I see a meltdown coming. I tell her alright I think we need to go. It’s just going to get worse. Well, of course, mom comes back 3x, and I’m dealing with a full-on meltdown. I leave everything in the store and get ready to leave when mom pulls up to my car. I tell her no, it’s just going to make it worse when she says that my daughter and goes in my car anyways. Of course, a full-on screaming meltdown ensued. Do I have a right to be upset? I stepmom, and it’s our week to have four years old. We run into a mom at Walmart. We say our highs, and I can tell after 20 minutes of mom saying," I miss you so much" and “I wish I could take you to work with me” I see a meltdown coming. I tell her alright I think we need to go. It’s just going to get worse. Well, of course, mom comes back 3x, and I’m dealing with a full-on meltdown. I leave everything in the store and get ready to leave when mom pulls up to my car. I tell her no, it’s just going to make it worse when she says that’s my daughter and goes in my car anyways. Of course, a full-on screaming meltdown ensued. Do I have a right to be upset?
No u have no right to b upset that’s HER child u r the step mom she missed her daughter
I see a concern, but its her daughter too…but did she just see the daughter or take her away oooorrrrrr
I wouldnt be upset. That’s normal for a 4yo honestly I’d be more upset if she left her child screaming to go party or something.
Sounds like she loves her and misses her and is trying to be a good mom.
You have zero right here. Thats her mom!!!
Yes, we would all feel upset but that’s part of being a stepmom. You don’t have the right to tell her not to do this.
I’d talk to her. Tell her it stresses you to see the child so upset and ask her what she thinks you can do to coparent together to come to a resolution that is best for the child. There is always mediation
that was ridiculously hard to read and admin should proof read before posting
When my kids are at their dads I DO NOT CALL even if its during a bday/holiday its is THEIR time. Yes I miss my SO much but it is their time. I also dont call bc I know what could/would happen, a melt down. If she got into your car after you said no YES be pissed, that is trespassing.
No you have no right to be concerned. You are her step mom. Her bio mom birthed her. She has every right to talk to her child. Period
I think you have every right to be upset. Following because I’m curious on what other people’s opinions are to this. It’s your week with her not hers. You had to deal with the meltdown not her.
You have absolutely no right to be. You sound like the bitter type who needs to get over herself.
Normal 4 year old behavior. Meltdowns happen. Just imagine yourself in her shoes. Let her be a mom. It might bother you but the child’s feelings matter.
How weird… I would be weirded out by YOU if I were that child’s mother.
As a mother, If I see my child in a store with her father or fathers gf I will absolutely walk up to my child to say hello and give my love. We don’t do it to upset our child but how can we walk past our child and ignore that we see them? As a mother we want to give love as much as we can.
I would be upset a parent that really wants their child to have quality time with their other parent would avoid at all costs. The last thing I would want to do is upset my child while seeing their father. Honestly it’s a power trip most moms get to try and say see my kid loves me more. It is harmful to a child emotionally and hurtful.
I dare u to tell me I cant talk to my child… if u dont like go to a store further out
I’m gonna say you do have a right to be upset. I understand it’s her mom but her mom knows when the tantrums are triggered and continued until it happened! Why would you do that to your child. It sounds like it was intentional. Knowing my daughters meltdowns I wouldn’t want to trigger one.
You’re in the wrong. If that was your biological kid with their step parent, and you seen them having a melt down you would go there to make sure your kid is alright. I know it might seem annoying but you need to get over that. That is her child, and sometimes they just want their mom, and you need to understand that.
She had no n right to get in your CAr
Yes you do! I speak as a mother in a blended family of 7 children, i have steps and my kids have step mothers. I understand the mom missing her child but she needs to have respect for you and your time with the child who is also yours!
Yes, you do have a right to be upset, while yes mum has a right to say hello to her child, she doesn’t have a right to upset the child, she knows her child well enough to know this is going to happen, this IS NOT in the best interests of her child.
She’s %100 in the wrong!!
You people are DUMB! “It’S hEr KiD, yOu HaVe No RiGhT.” That’s why there’s courts! To instill these orders, if it’s the fathers turn to have the child, she has to obey the order.
Yes you do cause it’s not her week it’s the dad’s she shouldn’t do that to get her daughter upset
I would have said, but your daughter. Let’s sit for a minute. Gee, see missed her kid. Let her have a minute. She’s human, your human, it might be hard on the child but reassure her she’s going to be fine while monies at work.
I think it’s ridiculous. She doesn’t get enough time with her dad as it is then to have this happen? Yeah I would be pissed. Running into them saying hello, etc is fine but to continue it for HER own feelings and not giving a damn what it does to her daughter is selfish, petty and immature.
Who are you to not allow her MOTHER to talk to her.
Geez some people are just down right mean on some of these post!
Maybe try and let her take her for a couple hours in the middle of the week so they won’t be so upset when they run into each other.
I would be irritated.
If I was in the moms position and the step mom tried to tell me to not talk to my child just being honest I would FLIP … Just… no.
I would be LIVID if my kid’s stepmom wouldn’t let me talk to my kid, even if it “isn’t my day.”
She is a bitch. She knew what she was doing.
Y’all I don’t think she’s upset that her mom talked to her, she’s upset at the fact that the mom is trying to take her child when it’s their week.
Her mother seems very selfish. I guarantee you she knew it would upset her. Why would you put your child through that? I know…because she was thinking about HERSELF.
You have every right to be upset. She should have said hello I love you I miss you and I’ll see you next week.
Ummm so would you rather that Mom ignores her on her weekends with you? It’s not like the mom purposely showed up at your house to upset her daughter. She’s her mother do you really think that her having a meltdown wouldn’t affect her as well? I’m sure it was hard on mom watching you be upset with her daughter when all she probably wanted to do was comfort her. This was hard to read and honestly you sound like someone I wouldn’t want to have to co-parent with 
Yeah. She purposely did that. Your husband needs to discuss boundaries with her.
She said the mom came by 3x not just once and I get it shes the mom ,but she is also making it hard for the stepmom as she knows her child wants to be with her and I’m sure she knew her daughter was getting upset that she couldn’t be with her so i would kinda be upset if I was the step mom but thays something they need to talk about if it was to happen in the future so the child isn’t too upset but of course the mom can say hi and give her some love nothing wrong with that but to keep coming by and knowing your child is getting upset isn’t right either
So many bitter baby mommas😂
You have a right to be upset that the mother repeatly kept coming back after seeing the child was upset. After you told her not to get into your car she should have respect that…
Stay in your lane. You are the stepmother so step back and let the Mom try to handle it. If the 4yr old is still having a melt down after she leaves now its your turn to step in and try to help them calm down. This is what you signed up for good or bad you gotta deal with it. I can’t tell you how to react to it only you can control your actions. Maybe try looking at it from the Moms side its hard to be away from your baby
You can be uspet but… I don’t think it is worth saying anything over. No matter how you slice it you look like you overstep the mom, even if you didn’t. But… as a Mom, I will be damned if someone tells me I cannot talk to MY child. No way. No how. A chance meeting is one thing… it isnt like she purposely shows up where you will be…
Let me just say, if something happened to my husband and myself and my kids ended up with a step mom,She absolutely better not tell me i cant talk to my kids or say bye to them. Who do u think u are?? Thats her mother. respect it.
Good thing u aren’t my 4 year olds step mom…because if I ran into u and my 4 year old was having a melt down and the dad wasn’t with u to comfort her I would have probably took my child home and called the dad and tell him.the child was having a meltdown u weren’t there so I took child home and u better tell ur girlfriend not to tell me what to do with my child
I get it, but no. That’s her mother. This is part of being a step-parent. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the way it is. Her choices concerning her child will always take precedence over what you think or feel, the same way it does with you and any of your children.
If I see my child in public my time or not I will talk to my child. But I would not do something to cause a melt down
Y’all she didn’t say she refused her. She basically said enough was enough when the kid was getting upset. She’s not the wicked stepmom. Sounds like the biomom was TRYING to cause a scene.
When your a Stepmother that’s exactly what you are “Step”, back off and let her father deal with her.🤷It’s better to stay out of it.
Oh she caused the meltdown she should have greeted her child and then got the hell out of dodge
She didnt say she didnt want the mother to talk to the child. From what i am understanding after the meeting in the store the first the mother kept it going knowing the child was having a meltdown because if it. I can see her side.
She’s not mad the mother wanted to see her baby. But she’s upset the mother imposed on their day. That’s their day. If she imposed on the mothers day I guarantee the mom would be pissy about it. She as the mother should know that her baby seeing her is going to upset her. As a mother she should tell her baby. “Mommy has to go you have fun with (step mother’s name) I’ll see you when you come home”
Mom is a mom is a mom
A woman would eat her teeth if I was ever told I couldn’t speak to MY children regardless of whatever role they were playing. You married her father and took on this role knowing things like this will happen.
Dad needs to talk to her and set some boundaries
I’d be pissed. From now on, simply pull up, meet at the cars and go. The all of that foolishness is for the birds.
She probably could have done it better. Like the way she was doing it was obviously upsetting her daughter. I don’t know your relationship with her and how friendly you guys are. Like did you go through a bad custody battle or is it not a big deal if mom or dad is around on the others day’s. It sounds like you need to have a talk with her and maybe a lawyer if this wasn’t ok with you.
I get you getting irritated … but not upset at all. If I saw my child with his/her stepmother . I’d go right up and say hello to my child and give some love. Tantrums happen no matter what. I would reasure my child that it’s ok and we will see each other again ect on so, and so day. . If the child’s mother continued to see her kid upset I get why she kept being a mother… as a step parent you have to let things go. No matter how hard it may be, it’s her child . Breathe and move on.
Yes you have a right to be upset because you are trying to care for the child and you could see that she was getting upset and the mom kept coming back and then got in your car… yes come see your child give her hugs and kisses and loves but don’t keep going back another 3 times if you can see the child is upset. Let the step parent handle it and send a text or call and check on the child and ask if the child is now ok.
Ok so first off it’s their weekend with the daughter, yes it’s ok to be upset cause you have to be the one to calm down . The bio mom has her right to say hi to her child but she also seemed to know how her daughter would react seeing her. 🤷I would have made bio mom late to work cause she would have had to calm the kid down🤷🤷
I’d be letting dad talk about boundaries with her. Of course if you try you’ll step on toes and cause more issues so just let dad discuss it with her. Though she sounds like it’s her way or no way coming back multiple times even knowing it was making things worse. Children work on an out of sight out of mind wave… she should’ve said her hellos and that she missed/loved her and would see her in a few days or whenever she was supposed to.
I mean, you can be upset that the mom caused the meltdown if that’s what you think, but it’s not your place to tell a mother they can’t have their own kid.
I personally would have taken my child from you too and just brought her back when her father got home. 
I mean did you have somewhere to be? Otherwise, it’s the little things 
just chill. It’s ok 
I am a stepmom and my husband doesn’t expect me to play a mom role. That’s her mother. If it upsets you, let her dad take the responsibility of his own child or let her go back with her mom. Don’t take on more than you have to.
I get why you’re upset. Pretty justified. She should have taken the high road and walked away; not choosing to incite a tantrum and teach the little one to disrespect you.
The mother deliberately caused the meltdown. She knew her words n action would caused her daughter to behave the way she did. Stepmom had every right to be upset since she tried to avoid the child’s discomfort. As a mother u need to think n act in your child’s best interest. Shame on her.
Sounds like the biomom was trying to cause a bigger scene. Followed her back to her car? After the baby was screaming and upset already? Why would u want to keep antagonizing the child. Ur there then ir not then u are and u know shes not leaving with you. Why continue to take her out of the cart and follow her to the car?
Yes.
But also why on Earth are they doing such a damaging schedule with the poor kid. I can’t imagine having my life permanently split between homes and never having “my” home.
if I seen my son out with his dad during their weekend I would probably try to avoid running into them because I know is going to be upsetting to my son and he’s going to want to go home with me
I’d let dad handle this with her. Kids have meltdowns, its not the end of the world. It also sounds like you dont have kids biologically? You sound slightly possessive of said child (that is technically not yours) and thats so not healthy.
I’d be locking doors in vehicle. But I’d have left after 1st meetup…bc in our case I’d see the rest coming…and shop somewhere else or do it another time.
That was one hell of a read… buttttt u cannot told a mum she cant speak to her own child.
Well I’m a mom and a step mom…
**mom should have said a light hello, and Been on her way. ***
Its her daughter. If someone told me I couldn’t have my own kid I’d be pretty upset. If I see you out with my kid and I want to see my kid…I’m going to see my kid. I don’t care if it takes up “your” time. Also wanted to add that if it were dad it would be different, but you are step mom and you have no say over my child.
It was hard reading this story and trying to figure out what was being said.
You both could of consoled her together till she calmed down …she the only one who doesn’t understand what’s going on…I’m sure both of you would have done a great job making her feel happy
The mom caused emotional stress on purpose. I’d be furious.
No. If i see my child at the store am I supposed to just walk past her? 
No way. I’m going to pick her up and love her. 
That’s hard. But she’s four and she’s got big feelings and not a lot of experience expressing them. And her mommy has the same problem lol. Forgetting the groceries and moving on to the next thing was the best way to handle that. I would have wanted to strangle mommy in the store and even more after continuing the drama in the parking lot. Hope the rest of your day went better! You’re doing great. Distract and divert and carry on!
Was it just you and the daughter or was the dad with y’all too?
Every right to be upset!
It’s the same concept as when a kid is being dropped off at daycare when parents stay too long the kid has a tougher time separating. I deal with this every day. It’s much easier to walk away with an I love you bye than to keep coming back when you have to leave
She’s the mom, no way would anyone tell me to stay away from my child. Especially, if they are upset.
If there’s a court order and you’re the care taker for her father next time call the cops.
No. Now if dad was with you maybe but no. As a mother, spending time away from your babies can be terribly painful on both babies and mamma. Next time maybe try to help the real
Mamma calm down the little. Show the kids that you and their MOM are a team.
Never show them you feel like you’re in a competition because you will never win and the kids will be the ones suffering For the lack of team work.
I see both sides but the mother shouldn’t want her daughter to get so upset and get to meltdown mode
I see a lot of people are against step parents or something we are also the child’s PARENT which means we are going to do what’s best for them.
Some of you people are totally missing the point.real mom knew she was upsetting child and continued to upset her.if she cared about her child she would have said I have to go to work.i have a step child I call my daughter fro. Another mother.we have a very good relationship. Not so much bio mom,due to lying and conniving to her all her life.being fifty plus she figured it out and this mother will come to this if shes not careful.
Nope. Coming and saying hi, yes. Coming back multiple times, making sure that child is having a meltdown is childish. She knew what she was doing. And before anyone wants to bash me, I am a stepmom (more like full time 2nd mom) and have a very healthy relationship with bio mom. That woman did that on purpose to be petty
As a mother myself, I feel like this mom should have taken and step back a d considered how this situation made her daughter feel. I have a four year old who goes to her dad every weekend, and I know if she saw me while she was with her dad, it would upset her and make her want me. So on the occasion that I see them on his weekend, I try not to let myself be seen by her. Or when I have to drop something we forgot off to her dad, I have him come out so she doesn’t see me. These things are as hard on the child as on the parent. Mom should have realized this and taken a step back to think what affect would this have on my child. Maybe I should just leave her be. It seems to me she was looking to cause a scene.
Not sure what being upset about it is going to accomplish.
As a mom i wouldn’t put my child in that position of upsetting her that much
I would’ve called the cops the second she had the balls to get in my car who the fuck is she to touch your property . It’s your husband or fiancés time along with your time … she needs boundaries
Its a hard situation for both sides but the mom should have realized how she was causing emotional stress for the daughter and handled it better. Maybe suggest to the little girl that she misses her but her daddy and step mom enjoy time with her and talked about how much fun she was going to have to make the sighting and transition easier.
all these women on here saying that the stepmother has no right on THEIR week … y’all are crazy lol.
Stepmothers or Stepfather’s legally have NOTHING to do with the children. Usually the court orders only involved with Biological Mother and Father. We always have that one person trying to overstep their boundaries. Back it up and let these 2 deal with it themselves.🤷
She’s not saying stay away or ignore that she wanted her to say her piece and then leave make it short but sweet that way it wasn’t making it harder on her bonus child
Yes and no because for one you have to put with the melt down but on the other hand you have to remember it’s really hard to have to share your children really really hard
I personally would be a little upset BUT she is the girls mother. If it were you and “step-mom” had your child, wouldnt you be livid if step-mom told you that you need to leave your kid? You have to see it from both sides. I get why you would be upset completely. She could have made it short and sweet and on with her day but at the same time i get where the mom says that’s her kid and she can see her if she wants. Try to remember the girl is only 4. She loves her mommy of course. If her mom is a good mom why would you be upset other than the obvious point of the meltdown? I can understand dealing with the meltdown because that’s rough sometimes.
Oh my lord… just by the comments I can tell who puts their children’s emotional and mental health first and who plays petty games and thinks it’s ok to get a child riled up and make a child feel bad bc mama misses them. Some of you ladies need to grow up. Yes she’s step mom but she still has feelings. My God obviously she loves this child and unlike the mom it hurts her to see child upset and crying. Any of you mothers who think it’s ok for a mom to make their child cry and have a meltdown please get parenting classes!!! Also poster needs to check if mom has child with some sortof gps. Whether it be a tablet, phone or even one of those new watches.
Why repeat what you have to say twice, sorry but this post is written terribly and I just can’t take it seriously:joy: