Why could t you let the child go with her mom for an hour or two you finish your shopping and go have a coffee there should be no harm in sharing a child that has her own needs that need to be met it’s not about you take the child into consideration next time
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I’m just trying to figure out who spends twenty minutes talking to your husbands ex at Walmart.
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Number one you better have your car checked for a tracking device cuz it’s strange mom happens to show up where you are
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Yup. I have ran into my kids at the store and I will give them a hug, tell them I love them and miss them and see them on my next day to have them. But I’ve also been the step mom in that position you are in. You can be upset about it but this time nothing can be done. Next time make it short and sweet if mom wont. Tell child to tell mommy hi give her a hug and she loves her and we need to get our shopping done because we have things to do.
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I am a stepmom and went through the same with the bio mom to the point we moved 30 minutes away so it wouldn’t happen again. The end result is that my daughter didn’t want to visit any more because bio mom would bad mouth us to her the whole visit
No you don’t have a right to. be upset. Dads tine or not, thats her kid and if she runs into yall she has every right to talk to her kid.
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I had a hard time understanding this post.
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Who is in charge of this site??? Jesus I need a drink just from reading this…
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I definitely understand why you are upset because you are the one that had to deal with it BUT no one would tell me to not go to my child
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I would shop a week a head of time so no stores. Maybe go to the playground or park instead. Dad needs to be consulted about this too. To much drama for me and the child. OR he needs to do shopping with you and his child. Just a thought.
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I’m a step mom and a bio-Mom. And as a Step Mom I can understand why your offended and bothered because the “upset” seemed so avoidable , As a bio-mom I can understand why she would want to console her child when she is upset there is seriously nothing more hard than watching your child upset and having them go with someone else. The highs and lows of being in a child’s life is dealing with all the other adults in their life as well.
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I’d be upset. That mom knew what she was doing and didnt think of the child and instead was being like that. I would bring it up with your husband and tell him to talk to the ex wife and tell her that she needs more self control and to not be so petty.
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Nope I’d be mad. Sounds like the mom wanted this to happen. I would like to think I would have said hi hugged, kissed my baby and left immediately so as to keep from upsetting my kid.
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Yes, I could understand why you would be upset. A 4 year old throwing a tantrum is hard enough when you’re mommy but it’s also harder when the child wants their mom… I could understand the mother wanting to stop and talk with her child for a minute if y’all ran into each other, lord knows I couldn’t walk past my own child. But it’s also another thing not to respect the step mothers boundaries when it comes to having to deal with the tantrum on the way home. She very well could have said hello and I love you (maybe talk for a few minutes?)
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Yes you’re wrong. That’s momma. Period
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I say this kindly because I’m sure you’re trying to look out for the best interest of your step daughter, but I can honestly say that in my opinion, stepmom will never overrule mom. Do I disagree with her actions? Yes. But let your hubby take it up with her so she can’t pull rank
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I just wish people would pick their egg - sperm donors more carefully…
When you make a child …
U have to deal with that other person for life …
Some would say no u dont …
But yes u do …
Children need both their parents …
Unless they are abusive…
Again
Choose ur egg- sperm donor carefully…
People will carefully pick a car .
But have no regard to who they are sharing DNA with …
There are expectations.
Like rape …incest.
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Plus maybe get it court ordered that if this continues, that the court makes the mom gets her mental health checked out. And everytime you encounter her, note it down. Date, time, place, what happened. Everything.
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I’m a step mom and you HAVE NO right to tell that mother she couldn’t see her baby so what if she has a meltdown it happens its not the end of the world it’s part of being a parent 
Honestly just let the dad handle this one
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I’d be pissed if someone tried to tell me I couldn’t comfort my child. Your a STEP mom. Not the kids mom. Your week or her week it is HER child.
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Sooo? Step-parents are not supposed to care for a child simply because they didn’t birth that child and deserves no respect? They should stay in their lane? Wow. If the step was being a douche, y’all would be bitching about them being toxic. Or if something happened to child, they should ignore it? Because, you know, not their child and all. No parent should intentially cause stress to their child. If it were the dad doing that, y’all would be calling for them to go back to court or get a restraining order. 🤦 instead of calling out stepmom, try calling out mom. Mother or not, you do not intentionally cause your child stress like that. Mother seems like the bitter one, not stepmom. Smh.
Maybe they don’t “legally” have “rights” but they are the ones helping raise your child. Sometimes morals matter more than law.
The mom needs to respect what you say n keep going… She needs to write letters n then give it to the child when they get home… Respect. Is the key
I don’t understand the story
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I’m lost on the story
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Don’t go places she might be, also have your husband do it to her when she has her. Only kidding on the last part because it would traumatize the kid which the mother should consider before manipulating the situation.
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You have every right to be upset. Even though she is the mama, she should respect boundaries. Sounds to me like she knew the child would have a tantrum and proceeded to upset the child on purpose.
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You definitely have the right to be upset since she clearly egged her daughter on but overall it is her daughter so unfortunately she doesn’t have to go away.
You can be aggravated just keep it to yourself, but you can’t tell her she can’t see her child just because she’s gonna cry. She is her biological mom, and has rights to that child.
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This is why I never dated men with children lol.
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The mother should be upset not you.
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I understand your position… but personally I would have let her go with her mother and let Dad handle it from there…
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My brain hurts trying to read that 
… but from what I understand you are the stepmom so you must be with the father and it’s your week to have the baby but mom just keeps popping up. Yes you have a right to be mad.she should call in advance and not pop up like that knowing it will make baby upset. Maybe the 4 year olds father should speak with her.
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I can’t even comprehend what is being said.
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Half the mom’s in this comments section need a therapist, oh my lordy. Mom and dad have the rights to the child, yes. Neither parent has the right to harass or cause emotional harm to the child, no matter how much they miss them. Whether anyone likes it or not, step-moms (and dad’s) are family to the children involved, no matter how controlling or petty you want to be about it. If my babyfather and I broke up, I HOPE he finds someone who will love our child as much as her own and do the things she would with her own kids, with mine. Jealousy has no place in co-parenting. It’s selfish and ultimately about the well being of the child, not your egos.
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Mom should’ve respected the fact that it was y’all’s time and made sure to keep things calm for baby girl. Next time make sure you’ve done your shopping before hand so you can avoid running into her like this.
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It’s a hard situation for everyone. I am a mom who has to share my oldest with my ex and his gf and I am also a bonus mom… I would not be telling her “no it’s our week” or anything like that, it won’t help. It’s hard on the child, it’s hard on you, and it’s extremely hard to hand over your baby to another woman you barely know. It sounds like you ALL need to be more understanding. She crossed a line climbing in your car… But it sounds you could’ve been gentler to. Imagine how the child feels. Your husband, the mom and you all me to have a sit down.
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I would.be mad especially as a stepmom myself. If I had my stepson out in public and his mom kept coming up to us in the store I’d leave too. Any child is gonna throw a tantrum over this. She had absolutely no right to pull up to the car. Its dad and step moms weekend… I would have locked the doors…
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From what I can decipher… the mother is out of line. She should have had a nice conversation, told the child she loved them and went on her way.
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Yes and no. She is the childs mom so she of course is going to do as she sees fit, even if its the wrong thing or at your expense.
On the other hand, she knew she was winding up her kid and making it harder on everyone involved, and I cant see the reasoning behind that.
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Its unfortunate the mom was not allowing the daughter to feel good about being with the step mom. She was wrong in playing on the childs emotions. She should be grateful you are a caring stepmom. Imho.
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What and the hell repeat did I just read 
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Absolutely!!! She played on her child’s emotions and intentionally caused the hysteria! She needs to do her best to make her child feel safe and happy with you… You aren’t going anywhere
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The child’s needs (and no she doesnt need you every single minute) should come before your dumbass desire to be MOTY to your baybee. The child needs to feel secure with dad and stepmom just as much as with her mother. If you’re doing shit like this, you’re a shit parent. If it was the dad doing this, people would be lining up around the block blasting him for not putting the childs emotional well being over his selfish needs.
Been in your shoes and it’s hard! Trying to find balance and boundaries that dont effect the child’s emotional wellbeing. Bio mom shouldn’t have kept finding you in the store and should have noticed her daughter getting upset and not encouraged it to escalate. It’s not heathly for the child, bio mom should not have gotten in your car either. most people are defending bio mom not understanding how hard it is for a step parent to watch out for a step child wellbeing not having and rights. Bio mom was going to work, why wind up your child to set them up to fair and be upset?
“Broken homes” are only as broken as the parents allow them to be. If the child was being put 1st bio mom wouldn’t have kept coming back. Good for you for trying to stick up for your step child!
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Step moms dont have any writes its between the mother and father
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There needs to be mutual respect on both sides. Treat your ex’s SO the same way you’d like them to treat yours. Respect the boundaries of the court order. When both sides dig their heels in and start the whole “That’s MY kid” dialog, it hurts the child most of all. I’d have my husband speak to the lawyer. If you have the responsibility of caring for the child when he’s not there, you should be able to do so in peace.
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I would definitely be annoyed. She knew that her coming back and seeing the child would upset them. And she kept doing it. Yes i get that’s her kid, but it’s not her time with the child. One hi and bye shouldve been it.
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I have a feeling there is more to this story, I’d love to hear the other side.
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You should be upset and she should know better for sure! When my daughter was little she would go 5 hours away to visit family. They would call me so she could talk to me but then she would get super sad and homesick so me being the mother would tell them to only call at night and only once in awhile unless she really wanted to talk to me. I would get very upset and sad when she would call crying and upset and homesick so best for everyone was to not have her call. Then she had fun with other family and didn’t ruin hwr own time wishing to come home and I didn’t have to hurt hearing her so sad. Mom should fucking know better and should have backed off most definitely
Honestly if I was that mother and you tried to tell me I couldn’t talk to my baby just cos it’s your partners week with our child, I’d probably smack the crap out of you. You’re that child’s step-parent. If you don’t agree with something her mother or father say or do, to bad
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I have never dealt with this. But if I saw my kid out with step mom and I wanted to talk to my kid, step mom wouldn’t tell me no.
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I love how people want to tell the stepmom to stay in her lane…or say she has no right to even be a little upset that she had to deal with a full blown meltdown. It would be one thing for mom to say hi…if they were out and ran into each other. Say hi…love you’s, and move on. She knew she was going to upset her daughter, by her behavior.
As a mother…I would want to do everything to foster a good relationship with the stepmom, because she would be caring for my child also.
I’m assuming all you mothers that want her to stay in her lane…also expect/want her to treat your child with as much love and concern as you would…or as she would her own child. They can’t create a good bonding relationship if the mother does stuff like this. Put your children first…they didn’t ask for your adult drama!!
Yes…you have every right to be upset. Talk to your husband…hopefully he will see the issue here, and you all can talk like adults about it. If not, there’s always the courts to hopefully ensure what is right.
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I read this 3 times and I still don’t understand what’s going on
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Shame on the mother!! How selfish and immature!!
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What did she say? Lol
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The only thing I keep thinking about is I really hope you did not go and bad mouth your child’s mother to the child or around them. I say your child because when you agree to be a stepparent that child becomes yours in a way.
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Absolutely not! You’re not a part of the custody arrangements, her parents are. If the girls mum took her, good- out of you and her, she has right of way. Regardless if you feel like that’s your child too, it’s not and that’s the harsh reality of willingly becoming a “step” mother, the girl cried for her mum so her mum took her, perfect response on Mums part- I would’ve done the same for my baby 
Anything against her and your partners agreement can be dealt with by your partner (4yr olds dad) You can make your own kids and then you can have the right to be upset.
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Can we get a translation? 
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Moral to this story is by all these mothers, U are a babysitter!!! Not a second third or forth parent that loves and cares for that child well being!!! I went through something like this with my husband daughters mom, she lost custody and the judge told her that I WAS his wife not a random girlfriend or women he was seeing, and it was my house the child was living in and that I had the right to do what I had to do!!! Thank god I have the husband I have cause some women think that it’s their kids so she can run my household cause their child is there!!! I don’t fucken think so!!!
is this all the time or was this just a one time thing?? If it’s all the time, I get your concern, but if it was just this time as you bumped into her at the store, I think its not a big deal??.
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This woman is upset because the mother upset her child. She let them speak for 20minc, clearly shows she respects her. But the bio mum was not respectful enough and kept coming back to upset her daughter. I would be mad too. From the comments seems most bio mums are so immature and make life hard for some step moms that love their kids. And I believe if it was the bio dad that did all these woman saying its her mum let her speak to her child their story would be different.
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Sounds like she just wanted to make sure she aggravated the child into a melt down to make it harder on you and the father to make you guys look like bad guys she definitely crossed a line she could have said by and I’ll call later like a freaking adult
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I think some of you don’t understand what court appointed time is. That mother has no right to take the child from the step parent. It is not her court appointed time and therefore it can be considered kidnapping. The step parent has every right to be upset because the mother was being manipulative and trying to fund a reason to take the child when legally she had no right to at that time. I’ve seen many custody battles, and if that step parent is married to one of the biological parents then that step parent has rights as well. That step parent has every right to walk away with the child and not acknowledge the parent who does not have custody at that time. The biological mother had no right to continue on with the child. She could stop say hello, I miss you, I’ll set you in x amount of days and walk away. It’s not her time to be with the child. She needs to move on with her day.
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I think u both need to think about the daughter,
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As a step parent I get why you’d be annoyed for sure. That’s was a total bitch move of bio mom to upset the child that way. My child bio mom always made sure to tell the kids when we saw her that they would have fun with us that she would see them soon and call before bed. That she missed and loved them but would see them soon. She always calmed them down,didnt just let them freak out. But at the same time maybe your child bio mom was having an extra hard day with out the child🤷♀️
Imagine having to share your child that very clearly misses you and there is nothing you can do. Put yourself in her shoes. Its absolutely heartbreaking when your child is upset and there is nothing you can do about it. Im sure she was just trying to comfort her and yes she may have overstepped your boundries but as a parent its hard not to do everything in your power to comfort your child . Its literaly instinct
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It seems to me both of you adults need to work a little harder for this childs sake. Whether mom brought on this big melt down or you did by trying to whisk this child away…i don’t know! But both of you need to get it together. Figure it out!
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The mom might be going through some tough times and she needed some time with her daughter.Yes it was your turn but you could have put yourself in her shoes especially if it was the first time to do that.May be she needed a friend.You are not wrong to feel what you felt but as a woman and mother,may be you should have seen where she comes from.
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The mom was wrong you have every right to be upset
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Wow. Honestly, as a step mom and a mom, I feel the mother could of been in the wrong. She said hi in the store no need to drag it out. When my son’s upset when I’m leaving him, I try to make him feel better not more upset about me leaving. Then to drag it out more in the parking lot…idk… obviously I don’t know the whole story cause that could of been me seeing my son in the store saying hi but melting down cause I missed him even if for a moment, and me in your car trying to fix the meltdown I did and try to make my son feel better all while invading step moms space. I get it. but if mom dragged it out and just deliberately made it worse for the child, she’s wrong. If you the step mom was just hoping the mom would not say hi to her child in the same store, or parked near each other, than step mom is in the wrong. really depends on the WHOLE situation especially those minor details people hate mentioning.
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Nah, the step mom needs to chill the fuck out. That kid is not the step mom’s. Yeah, we get it, you ran into the child’s mom at the store, but that’s her mom! Of course she’d be upset at leaving her mom when her mom popped up sooner than expected. I have a step mom and my daughter has a step mom and I totally get where the mom and child are coming from and think that the step mom needs to take a back. She’s only upset because the kid had a meltdown because they’re upset that they’re not able to have one of their favorite people stay with them longer.
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Sounds like we arent getting the full story. Obviously theres some parts being left out and a lot of this post is vague/unclear.
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Wow your hubby needs to have a chat to her about that it’s one thing to say hi and I love you see you later, but working her up like the causing distress and if she continues your hubby might need to talk to his lawyer.
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It’s our week to have her. Yuck ! The child isn’t a game or a toy or a library book. The mom has a right to say hi to her daughter anytime anywhere for as long as she wants. The dad also should have that opportunity. Step moms have their place. But they should never overstep mom
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Well.
Its the child’s dad’s time with his daughter. Yes you’re a part of the family but legally its not your time. Some parenting plans actually have a “right to first refusal” clause.
Meaning that if dad is busy mom gets the first choice to take/watch the child instead of you (the step mom).
That said, i don’t know how long you and the child’s father have been together or how long mom and dad have been split and sharing custody.
If its a fairly recent thing, YOU need to be more understanding to the mom/child relationship.
My oldest is SIX. If he’s with a sitter (which is rare) i still call and check on him every couple hours. Why? Because he’s my kid. I want to know/see how he’s doing.
Adjusting to a WEEK away from her child is going to take time for mom.
And adjusting to a week away from mom is going to take time for the child.
Mom maybe didn’t realize it would upset the child so badly and then tried to fix it. Maybe just wanted the child to feel loved/important to her (because she is)
That said…if this was the result of seeing mom at the store…what is her reaction to being away from mom the rest of the time? How do you handle it then?
Id seriously advise against pulling her away from mom or refusing phone calls ect. My dad did that and i HATED him for it.
Im not saying let mom take her but i will say you need to find a better way
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How you can even make sense of this post …
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Next time she touches your car you call the cops on her she has no right touching or entering your car
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As a mother who had to spend time away from her child for visitation with father and stepmother in a different state I was calling every few hours to check on her. I called her stepmother too not her father because I knew she would be around her the most and I knew she would be the most reliable. She never complained and she was completely understanding about how I felt. No mother wants to be separated from their child for long periods of time. Imagine it was your child and you and how you might feel. It’s like living without your heart for that amount of time. We are constantly worried even if we trust that person and we wonder if they are missing us and my child cried every night on the phone wanting me. So yes there is always tough situations and you need to have more sympathy for this mother and child!
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Does anyone proofread anymore? 
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Reading this, it sounds like a third grader from another country wrote it. Idiot!
Only a messy mom would do this . you know how your child reacts to situations like this…
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Whatever happened, you getting your husband riled up about this, to the point he got the police involved didnt help a damn thing.
She knew exactly what she was doing. Sounds like a petty immature bitter baby mama.
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My stepdaughter is grown now, but her Mom would do this at pick up. Some weeks, it would be Mom, Stepdad, Grandma, Aunts… They would all come out on to the front deck, line up for hugs. Talk about how much they were going to miss her (this was back when the non custodial parent only got every other weekend, so she was literally only gone for 48 hours every 2 weeks). They would proceed to give her safety reminders like “remember to buckle up every time”, “stay with Mandi, hold her hand when you’re out”, etc. It was ridiculous, honestly because they could have done all of that before I arrived. I just told them I’d be in the car when she was ready. Once I walked away, they wrapped up really quickly because they lost their audience.
In your situation, always have somewhere you have to be that only leaves 5 minutes for pick up. Make it up if you have to. Tell Mom about your plans before pick up and that you’ll need her to have your stepchild ready to go when you arrive. When you get there, tell your stepchild “hey, give Mom a big kiss and hug and then we need to go or else I’m going to be late”. Don’t say where you’re going to her, unless you really are going somewhere because then she’ll expect it. When you get to 1 minute left, if she’s still going, just say “ooooh, I’ve really got to go now or we’re not going to make it in time!” It might require you to take your step child’s hand and start leading her away.
I would highly recommend you arrange to meet outside the store at your vehicles instead if possible though. Then you can sit in your car, but still do the “have to leave in 5 minutes” bit. Then, she really doesn’t have an audience and she’ll cut it shorter. If you’re standing in the store, you have to wait nearby and she gets to put on a show. Good luck to you! I do not miss all of this, honestly.
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You have a right to be annoyed. Perhaps after she came back the second time, instead of saying, “she’s going to have a meltdown” and “you’re making it worse”, you could have said, “you’re hurting her by doing this” and “this is so cruel to do to your child, I need you to walk away”. Or, instead of feeding into that drama at all, you could have invited her to do your shopping together and walked up and down the aisles together. Not that you owe her that, but it’s nice for both of them, even if it’s annoying for you. That also allows you the chance to tell the girl when shopping is done mommy is leaving, and she is fully prepared for that when it happens. We all make choices. Sometimes our choices make things harder on us, just like other’s choices do. Perhaps you added as much drama as you subtracted by handling it the way you did.
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Yes you do have the right to be mad. I’m not a step mom but i had one and to me, that was my mom and i respected her 100%
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Good LORD. Some of y’all are SOOOO hateful this morning! Drink some coffee, take a nap… something… Anything. 
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Maybe y’all could have walked around together so it was easier on babygirl. When kids see the parents (and I mean ALL- step and bio) get along, it’s a lot easier on them.
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Just have your husband deal with that. I would call him up, explain the situation, and let him handle her. Not that you can’t handle it, but it sounds like you and the mom don’t see eye to eye and it’s just less drama. I recently started having my groceries delivered and found that much easier, because my son will be over it after a half hour. Good luck!
Plesse gather your thoughts and repost. Because you’re making no sense!
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First you need to stop using the term Step Mom. If you look at it as your husband’s child or your step child move on. Love that child as she is your own how would you feel if the the situation was reversed would you want to say hello to your daughter if she was gone for a week and you ran I to her? Maybe she took it a bit too far but if your the “step mom” as you keep referring to yourself step aside so MOM can say hello deal with the melt down. She loves her mom!
This is going to cause lot of for children as they grow that is dad and mom tell to work it out like adult children you stay out of it until you create a strong love and bond kids are always the victims of divorce so dont make it worse
Absolutely you do. Mom shouldn’t let this happen. She should tell her daughter to have a great time at daddy’s house and she’ll see her later!
As a step mom you signed up for the meltdowns. And the fact the child had a meltdown over her real mother saying hi… Umh means they missed her. Same as the mother. If someone tried to tell me what to do with my child, I think you would get throat punched. Weather it’s you’re"week" or not thats the childs mother and trying to limit them on comfort from her and feeling the need to complain about it is non sense.
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I can understand it’s frustrating, but as a mom myself I can only imagine the pain she must feel having to leave her baby with you! Especially if you are showing signs that you are annoyed by her baby’s tantrum. Poor four year old child is going between two homes and having to adjust and of course having a hard time! Kids love their mommy’s!!! You don’t sound like a very loving stepmom you sound like an inconvenienced one. It sounds like you could learn to have some empathy for both baby and mother! I wouldn’t want to leave my most prizes possessions with you either😠
Co parenting is hard. It is frustrating. As your week with little girl she didn’t need to step in or anything, however as the mom she might just legit want to help, especially if she sees her crying. Meltdowns are rough but if it’s a really bad issue or reoccurring, bring it up with dad.
To the OP:
“STEPMOM/STEPDAD SUPPORT GROUP” on FB is a great group to join. We are truly supportive of one another and honest. Not narcissistic and rude like A LOT (not all) of the bio moms on here have been. 
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This poor lady is getting bashed because alot of you have had bad experiences yourself. I had step parents and I was blessed because I loved them and they loved me. This lady ONLY WANTED TO KNOW DID SHE HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET UPSET BECAUSE THE CHILDS MOTHER WOULDNT LEAVE AND SHE KEPT COMING BACK AND CAUSED THE POOR CHILD TO HAVE A MELTDOWN. MY OPINION IS THE MOTHER KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING BUT SHE DIDNT CARE , SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO CAUSE THE STEP MOM GRIEF. IF SHE TRULY LOVED HER CHILD SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE KEPT COMING BACK AND UPSETTING HER BABY.
SO QUIT BASHING AND GROW UP!!!
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As her mom she should have known to walk away at the appropriate time. Thats bad parenting on her part. Unfortunately as step mom you cant really voice that without overstepping. (I’m step mom too so i kind of know what youre going through) . y
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