Why do bio moms get so out of sorts when their child is with their step mother while the dad is at work on HIS day to have the child. Respect the fathers time with the child! Regardless if the child is with step mom while dad is away! When you are a blended family, you would want your child to be part of the family. Sounds to me like bio mom needs to grow up! Kids see how crazy moms act out of PURE JEALOUSY and purposely upset their own child just to get that attention they thrive to get! Yea I said it!
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I am not a step parent, but I had a step parent. I think it is very inconsiderate and immature of the mom to continue to upset the child. A good hug and "I love you. You are going to have a great time. I will see you (whatever day she goes home). I know it has to hurt mom to see her child upset. However, she didn’t help the issue. She only made it worse. She has a choice. She can help her child deal with life as it is, or make it more difficult for her. If she continues to make it more difficult for her, shame on her. It isn’t the child’s fault there are step parents involved. She should have love and reassurance from all concerned. I can’t imagine what must be going thru the child’s mind with all of this. Poor child. All of this is assuming the child is safe and loved in both homes.
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She was not being mature about the drop off. I would make your husband do the exchanges or be present from now on, his daughter is really his responsibility in the end not yours. You are being nice enough to help with his parts since you married him knowing he had said responsibility, but it’s still ultimately mainly his responsibility. it’s great you care enough about the child to want her best interest and you are vested enough and mature enough to help your husband. However, At this point he should start being involved in the process. I have no step children, but my husband helped raise my oldest son. I wouldn’t put him in a position that made him uncomfortable.
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I’m a step mom but thankfully their adults now. In hindsight, I probably would have handed the child over to the mother and let your husband handle it regardless of who’s time it was. She sounds a lot like my husbands ex. When my stepdaughter was about 9, she walked in for a visit and said “Mom wanted me to tell you (my husband) she’s still in love with you Daddy, she was just mad at you, that’s why she married Paul” (they had divorced by then) If I could give you one piece of advice, some ex’s will use their own children to get what they want. Let your husband deal with EVERYTHING regarding the kids. You just be as nice and sweet as you can. Do not give her ammunition. I really don’t want you to go through what I went through.
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I never had to deal with the father of my children. But I would have never attempted to upset my child like that. It sounds like she wants it to be traumatic for the child to go to visitation. There is a Wal-Mart every 20 miles. I would start going to another one if I needed to go to the store with her just to avoid her.
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Sounds like she did that just to cause the meltdown. Bad parenting on her part. You can be upset all you want, but sadly it won’t do you any good. Let it go and next time you see her in Walmart head the other way
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Yes as you are the step parent/adult responsible for the child at that time! It’s ok if she wants to see her daughter but if she can’t take her with her when she gets her upset then she doesn’t need to keep coming back and upsetting her. She’s gotten her upset while in your care and now you have to deal with it while she runs off to work!! I don’t think she’s trying to keep the child from her mom but stating the fact that the mom should not continuously keep coming back if she sees the child getting upset every time! It’s a very thin line!! Maybe try to talk to the mom and let her know how you feel about it. I know that’s easier said than done especially if you don’t have a good relationship with the mom!
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Yes some of us stepmoms are better than the moms that the kids have to deal with
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Yes ypu have the right to be upset. Shes doing it on purpose. Find another store or day or something for shopping. Shes making sure you know shes bio mom which is “no kidding”. Unfortunately shes using her own kid as a ploy so do your best to avoid it on your end and if she actively seeks out a way to do it still, outright confront her, assuring her how much you love the child and you’re not trying to take over, just take care of her the best you can while shes in your care.
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If mom is being manipulative/vindictive and purposely causing the meltdown, then you have every right to be upset. If it is a genuine anxiety between the two of them (i.e. this is a new situation to everyone) then it needs to be worked through. Not enough details on the entire picture to pass judgment.
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Just because you’re the step mother doesn’t mean you have no say, you ARE part of her life as well.
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Mom is using the child to cause trouble. Parents can be very good at manipulating children. She shouldn’t be able to enter your car without your permission especially when you sent her access. There is probably something illegal about that. Next time leave the instant you see Mom and go to a different store while waiting. The mother is only hurting the child more, by causing separation anxiety and trying to make you look bad.
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Yes. She manipulated the child’s emotions and did it on purpose. Either she needed to see her child choose her over you or needed you to see her child choose her over you. Everyone can use the label “real mom” as much as they’d like but as the step mom, you are officially 50% of the 2 mothers she has in her life.
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You are the STEP mom. It’s up to her mother and father to parent her. If she gets so upset being with you and missing her real mom, why is she alone with you?
My son’s step mom tried to tell me how to raise him one time and I laughed. She’s not your daughter, don’t do anything to keep her from her mother unless she is unsafe to be around.
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Why are some of u putting any of the mothers down. Yes u have a right to be upset but dont tell bio mom what she can and cant do instead invite to chat about ways to work through it .
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My husbands ex would do the same thing except she would call their daughter while she was at our house. She’d get her all riled up & crying…next thing we knew she was wanting to go to her moms house.
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I would have taken the child and left the store and come back later. A pain in the butt for sure but I will avoid a meltdown.
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She definitely sabotaged you at the child’s expense. May I recommend grocery pick up?
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The mom needs to go to grow up, go to parenting counseling and learn how to make this new situation go smooth and not upset her daughter with words and actions.
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I would’ve told her to take her kid and kept shopping in peace. You wanna upset her? You want to say YOURE the mom and I’m only a step mom… and then purposely upset the child??? Aight then, take her then. Peace out. 
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She is only hurting the child with her manipulation. She sounds like she needs some therapy.
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Wth can’t yall co parent? What’s the issue so what if the kid wants to see their mom, this is the most ass backwards Jerry Springer 
I’ve read in along time.
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As step-mom I would have called my husband and ask him what he wants me to do about the situation.
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Not your child. Stay out of it. You can’t win this one unless she’s all in. And clearly she isn’t.
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Ok first off I’m a mom and a step mom I don’t get why moms feel it’s ok to have their child around the new boyfriend but it’s not ok to have dads new girlfriend around dude grow up what is ok for you is ok for him!! You can’t have your cake and eat it to have a new boyfriend who is great with the child n is around n gets to play daddy when dads out n not there but it’s world war if he has girlfriend around playing mommy when he’s out!! Double standards much!! And a step mom can play mommy but isn’t allowed to have feelings about things and isn’t allowed to have child’s best interests at heart no not how it works!! I’m a mom I’d be mad if I was you
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What are you trying to say? Confused at the question
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My question is why does the child fear you so much that she has a melt down when mom is leaving?
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Her mother was doing that on purpose knowing you’d have to deal with it shame on her
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Depending on the situation.
Did the mom come around just to make her upset or were you both just shopping and ran into each other?
Was daughter throwing a fit and mom heard it and was checking on child?
Tbh if my child was 4 and throwing a fit that she missed me and we were both shopping I would have offered to take child with me until you were done and then see how child was behaving.
Raising a child is about what’s in the child’s best intrest not the adult’s.
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No its not ur daughter
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Your post is confusing as hell but yes, I would be frustrated and upset. But I wouldn’t have stood there for 20 minutes carrying on.
Yes you do and yes she did it on purpose.
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Absolutely! She was sabotaging you.
Being stepmom is hard
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Am i the day only one who didn’t understood anything?? 
Sounds to me like she the mother is being evil and doing her best to distrub this little girls mind. This lady thats the parent need to grow up. I hate the word step-child step mother its so disrespectful i like to say bonus mom bonus dad or bonus son or daughter. I think the father needs to have a talk w/ his ex about this and lay down some ground rules because it sounds like shes using her daughter as a weapon and shes really causing more harm to this baby this form is child abuse
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awful and manipulative!
God some of you moms need to grow the hell up and learn how to respect someone who is helping raise YOUR children a job they dont HAVE TO DO
I am not attempting to embarrass, humiliate, or cast an inferior shadow onto you (the author of this post), but I am having difficulty understanding the actual specifics that lie within.
Put her in her place! She’s just trying to see how much you’ll take from her, she has mental issues
Yes because I’d think by now Mom should know when a meltdown is about to happen and be adult enough to walk away. Split parenting time is hard enough for kids at that age so why would she want to make it harder on her daughter🤦🏼♀️ sometimes parenting involves letting go of your own feelings/ needs for the sake of your child and I’d say this is one situation in which she was not doing that.
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You do but it’s sad for the little girls sake that a good healthy relationship between everyone can’t be fostered. It’s also not the fault of the little girl. Your husband needs to address it with his ex or perhaps he could get some family counseling for his daughters sake.
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Of course you have a right to be upset. You’re the one adjusting as well as everyone else. Your routine wont be the same as the biologicals nor should it be! My exs gf (they live together, she has kids to previous) used to take our kids shopping etc, i respected their time. I knew not to make things difficult or stressful, not for me, but for my kids and their step mum. When kids are involved, adults need to be adults 
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Soooo did you ever think that there might be a day that your stepchild might have to live with you full time? This could happen if the real mother died! The mother shouldn’t of followed you but you shouldn’t be upset. Should of thought of all the in’s and outs before you married a man with a child.
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You aren’t that child’s parent and even though you are close to the child…your feelings don’t compare to what is going on between that child and his/her mom.
You can be upset because the child is upset, you can be upset because the mom is upset but you can’t blame the biological mother for wanting her child and the child for wanting their mother. GRANTED, the mother should have tried to be strong/mature and walk away without making things hard because if visitation is weekly then that’s just how it is in order to keep things “fair”.
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You have the right to be upset if mom was deliberately trying to make things more difficult. My daughter does the same thing when she has to go with dad and step mom, but I try to encourage her to go (while still letting her know I miss her)
However, I do agree that you should not have told her no while at the car, I understand your frustration, but if someone told me I could not see my child, the mama bear would come out in me.
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If incidents like that would be brought before the Family Court judge, they aren’t gonna be happy with biological mom for making the child distraught in the situation.. That’s emotional abuse of the child. Not cool. Mom needs to get her self in check when she is in front of the child. Ultimately, the child will always want to make contact if they see the other parent out in public. And, the adults have to be mature and act in a healthy way.
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Parenting lesson #1 : Your concern should be for the child. Not yourself.
No you don’t get to be upset.
Be an adult and be kind and friendly to the child’s mom in front of that child.
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You have every right to be upset. My daughter’s step-mom and I are good friends and get along really well. Our daughter is often very upset when I have to drop her off at school or at her Dad’s house, but I don’t encourge the upset. I talk to her, tell her how much fun she’s going to have and how much her step-mom loves her and missed her while she was with me. My daughter will often calm down. I save the “I missed you so much” for when I’m picking her up for her stays with me. It’s cruel to the child to get them worked up like that.
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You sure do and if her mother really cared she would do things that would leave her child upset.
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Yes you do. Don’t blame the child though. If anything, blame the parents for even producing a child when they were obviously incompatible!
To be fair, if someone tried to tell me no, you cant come see your kid…I’d honestly drag you out the car right there.
No you don’t. That is her mother , who are you to tell her she can’t see her child?
Put the child first, not “your” right and time with the child (actually your husband’s right and time). He should be dealing with this not you. When it comes to children and parents, no one has the right to come between them. The child has a bond with her mother, of course she’s melting down being taken away from her. She doesn’t understand the legalities of divorce. This is why kids get so screwed up, when parents divorce and put their needs ahead of the child’s.
Sorry but this is one side of the story, just saying…
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Tell your husband to talk to her
You have ever right to be upset
I would defintely talk to your husband about it and let him address it. In my opinion it was okay for mom to say hi and hug the child, but to keep coming back knowing the child is having a meltdown each time is going overboard. As long as I knew my child was being taken care of by the step mom I would not have keep going back to upset my child. Its hard having a spilt home so why make it even harder on the child.
Yes, you have a right to be upset. She’s antagonizing your step-daughter knowing she will have meltdowns, trying to make it harder for you to parent. You need to discuss this incident w your husband n get on the same page, or else this will be an occurrence every time you take your step-daughter in public. Best of Luck Hun. 
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You sure do have a right to be upset. Now on yoyr ride back home you have to figure out how to calm her down. That wasn’t right and it sure to be address by your husband.