Do I have a say in my husbands new wife disciplining our kids?

Wouldn’t work, you have no say, unless she’s nasty t them

I’m a step mom and a mom and I have two baby daddies I guess is a good term here. But their step mom is allowed to do whatever as long as she treats them like they are her own kids. Same for me.

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Girl just get back in the exes bed for a night so she leaves him then no problems lol . Why would a man want to marry a woman who doesn’t even help with his kids ? She shouldn’t have a say in anything but that’s not life


I feel if you do not allow discipline than your children have no right to be there. Regardless the situation between the three of you it’s still going to be her home. Now I would have a talk about proper discipline and what your expectations are. If she doesn’t know the kids she might want to start learning them. Now if she’s down right ugly to them go to court


If that is your wish, then, when you finalize your divorce you can put that in. My friends dad made his divorce like that so her dad legally could not discipline her.

Legally No.

At the end of the day, unless it’s dangerous, no.

Now should you? Yes. Hoping every coparenting relationship would mean all parties have a say. I would talk about a “coparenting plan” for the sake of the kids. Be prepared for them to bring some concerns to the table (they always do) and model the way you want them to respond… no matter how silly or infuriating

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My daughters step mom is allowed to discipline my daughter to a certain extent. My daughter is very well mannered, but she is also a master manipulator to get her way. She knows that’s disrespectful and we don’t do that. I expect her to respect her step mom just as she does her dad and I. So verbal “discipline” is what works for us. If she is mouthy (she’s seven a a half, going on sixteen with her attitude) I expect and support her step mom to let her know she is being disrespectful, and to stop. If she keeps pushing her limits, her step mom does a time out on the couch, one min for every year of age, so time out is 7 mins. Then they discuss what she did wrong, what’s causing her to act this way and how is she going to correct it. That works the best for us. We do not do physical discipline. If she gets too carried away playing with her step siblings, her step mom will do punishment by grounding her. If she’s done wrong, she gets so many days with no electronics, and will spend more time reading, being outside and having to discuss what she did wrong and how she’s going to fix it. If she’s grounded for 3 days at her dads but those days fall into my time, then I follow through with what they’ve set as punishment to show her boundaries and that at both homes, we are consistent and will support one another’s decision on discipline at both homes. Our daughter is very well behaved, and punishments and being grounded are a rare occasion. If she’s not willing to be on the same page with you and their dad and be respectful, then that would be a huge issue with me. That’s unhealthy for your child to be around someone who does not engage with them like they should with any child. Everyone is different, sit down and talk all together and get on the same page. It’ll give you the reassurance in what you’re expecting from her if she’s going to be in their lives. You and their dad have to support one another’s decision when you’re sitting down and discussing this with her. Boundaries are huge to have successful Coparenting.


Nope. I wouldn’t allow it. That’s probably just me though :sweat_smile:

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I wouldn’t let her discipline my kids either & I don’t give a fuck what anyone says.
She’s not the mom she doesn’t even act like a step mom so fuck her.

I mean you really don’t have a say. He is dad and what he allows his wife to do when at his house is up to him. That’s just how it works


Why would you not want her to? The more structured you guys can make it the better. Nothing worse for the kids than not having some continuity from one household to the next. Petty, spiteful thinking like that will hurt your kids and your household when they go back and forth.


So like if he gets visitation you really can’t tell him she can’t be involved when they are there. I mean you can say it but he doesn’t have to listen. Unless you can somehow get that in the court order and I’m not sure they would put that his new wife can’t be involved.

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While in his home you have very little legal say. You absolutely should sit down and discuss what is appropriate discipline. Excluding her is petty, tho. She will likely be caring for them at some point, and will have to discipline them. If she uses harsh punishment, that you do have a legal say in. However, if she wants to give them a time out or take electronics away for breaking rules in their home, then that’s her choice. Co parenting is working together with all the adults in the child’s life, not just the other parent.


Do you mean all forms or just physical? If she can’t discipline what should she do if they’re misbehaving?

This really depends. Im a mom and a step mom and my steps are apart of my world like the children i birthed. In our agreement. Neither parent has a say of anything in the others house. They are both able to parent how they see fit during their time. For my husband that includes me as their step mom during his time. But i have them while hes at work, etc. If theres no real threat or hasnt been, Why even bring it up?

I’m a step mom and a mom and in my husband’s case I testified in court and the judge did take what I said seriously and we weren’t even married at that time but was clear we were getting married after it was finale…He won custody of his son.The judge and attorney told us that discipline is not abuse and since I was going to be responsible for him in everyday and I’m a big part of his life then it would only make sense that I would need to be able to discipline him when needed…She may not be doing much right now because she may not want to cause issues.She maynot know what your wanting from her and she may think it may upset you…The best thing to do is all 3 of you sit down and talk about expectations from all of you…I can’t stress this enough she is going to be a part of their life rather you want her to or not.Its in the best interest of your children and all of you to get along and work together in everything. If something is wrong talk it out.Dont fuss over small stuff.Your children will see it and it makes things harder for them…Let her know that you want her to be involved with your kids.She may not know this…The more conflict there is the worse it is for your kids and they don’t deserve to be stuck in the middle.I always say the more people that love my kids and show them love the better…The step parent isn’t the enemy.Im good friends with my first sons step mom.It really does take a village to raise children so if she wants to love and be there for your kids be grateful because it’s because she wants to not because she’s made to.Give her a chance after you all talk and see how things go.MORE LOVE THE BETTER


Nah. You really have no say unless shes being neglectful or mean. My fiances baby mama tried to control how we disciplined at MY house and I laughed in her face. She basically said I wasn’t allowed to tell her kids no. And I laughed and was like “yea sorry i actually discipline and don’t spoil. There is no way kids are gonna be making the rules and running my house. You can spoil all you want but we have rules here at my house.”


If they’re not even married yet and the kids barely know her, I don’t think she should be allowed any rights at all. Usually it’s the new girlfriend/boyfriend who abuses the kids.


Wouldn’t be okay with it either !

It’s better to have that all worked out with the lawyers… and yes you should definitely before so there’s no arguments and there are clear expectations of how your child will be treated in the other household. The new wife is to only be the husbands support in taking care of the child(ren) (for other people’s situation). She will not be allowed to discipline. You can ask for anything you want in regards to her, which I would say with only together a few months I would have the court looking at her just as much as him since that is where my world would be going when out of my care. You can have the courts evaluate their relationship, ask for a investigation on her (drugs, alcohol, domestic violence, not taking care of her previous children, any charges or abuse investigations etc). No matter that outcome you can still ask there be alcohol test, drug test and prohibiting of such things on the premises while your child visits there. Good luck!


She won’t be her “step mom” unless she adopts her …


I don’t think anyone should be disciplining a kid that isn’t there’s, if I found out that was going on Id get in trouble

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Who has custody of these children??? Because this is just absolutely ridiculous!?!?

She should be looking after your children while they are there and I highly doubt if she won’t get them a drink she won’t disabling them I wouldnt particularly let anybody discipline my kids and I do not discipline my partners daughter if she does something she shouldn’t I just say its not appropriate to do that right now and explain why she can’t do it so she understands why, i wouldnt dream of disciplining her thats not my place you definitely need to chat with her

Let him know in no uncertain terms that your kids is HIS responsibility when they visit him. Should she lift her hands to them or be mean then he will feel the repercussions as the childrens wellbeing should be the main priority in this whole mess

Oh no

Are you a rug ?

Unless there is neglect or abuse occurring, you have zero say what happens on Dads time in their home.


My question is does she do any discipline now… And remember pettiness will get you no where… It’s about the kids… What’s good for them… All it will do is make things harder on your kids…

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a say in my husbands new wife disciplining our kids?

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It was written into my ex husbands divorce decree with his 1st wife that only the biological parents could use corporal punishment. I still had authority because I was their step mom and it’s my house. Lol. I just couldn’t spank them. But as their step mom (or future step mom) she had the right to punish them. She can’t keep running to their dad for punishment because that will eventually strain their relationship. As long as she doesn’t spank, I’d let it go.


Sorry but, their house, their rules. If you have a good relationship with dad y’all can talk about boundaries but when they are on his time it’s up to him. He has the same parental rights that you have.


Well, here’s the thing. Spanking I would say a Big no! But if she is watching him then I think time out or grounding is perfectly fine.


To a level yes don’t let my child play in traffic, but somethings are better left to dad. It’s a fine line but he’s the one who sets it. If and when she steps out of line with your kid address it immediately and directly with the both


Is everyone who is commenting missing the part where this new lady doesn’t do anything for them and doesn’t participate in kids life??? I say take it to court and file for custody! You will drive yourself crazy wondering what is going on while they are on “his time”. She should earn that right and sounds like she doesn’t even care for it… He sounds more interested in her then his own kids if he’s going to marry someone who doesn’t even want anything to do with his kids.


Step parenting is hard when you want to… It doesn’t sound like she’s fully on board yet. I believe that Dad should set the rules and she can support them, but any REAL discipline needs to come from Dad. And then you need to know about it as the custodial parent so that you can address it with your children or not depending on how serious the infraction. But corporal punishment should only come from Dad if that’s something that your family does.


You definitely should have a say . Possibly sit down all of you together and discuss what’s best for your children

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Discipline and punishment are 2 different things. If your kid does something that could be dangerous and dad isn’t there do you want her not to do anything ?
What happens when your boyfriend is around? Your kid does something does he have to just let things happen until you get home?
You will have a lot of crap to deal with when you walk in the door. Be a United front with all the adults in the room. Stop being pissed that they did you wrong and looking to make their life miserable through the kids cause the only one who will be hurt are the kids. Hate them in private

I feel like this is tricky because it is a different parent and different household so he is able to do as he pleases. But you should have a say as their mother. I know when I got with my fiance I was the main caretaker of his daughter since he worked more than I did and we have 50/50 custody. But her mom did give me permission to discipline so :woman_shrugging:t2: Maybe all of you should sit down and discuss what you think is appropriate.


Maybe you can talk to someone. A pastor or counselor.

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Its really not her place. BUT since she will be their new stepmother they will have to have some respect when they r with her and thats just teaching your kids to have " the higher ground" like yourself.

Take to court , there’s a thing called “NO 3RD PARTY PUNISHMENT” its in our court papers . meaning the step mother OR FATHER can not physically touch your child . now id hope when needing to be told no for the childs safety is done properly , but as of spanking , whooping , “get on your knees” . big negative .

In all honesty, if she doesn’t wanna help take care of the kids, but does want to be involved in “discipline” that’s already a problem in it’s own. They are your children and you do have every right to be concerned.

In my opion i think its pretty messed up that he bring another woman in the kids life and say oh here is a new step mom which to me show she has no respect for your kids or there feeling i think over time yes she should have that right but she should have to earn that right and yes im a step mom and a mother


Well it depends on what you mean by discipline honestly because if she’s their stepmother and they were there often she should be able to establish rules and boundaries in their household. I don’t think by any means she should be allowed to put her hands on them though.

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Honestly I would say their house, their rules. Children need strong routine and there will be times that she may be put in a place to have to discipline them for unacceptable behavior. They should have respect for their rules and also for your rules it really goes both ways.

For spanking hell no but there’s other discipline methods that she could use. And again that technically will be there step mother when married so it’s good to build a mutual relationship to be able to coparent for the children. You could set boundaries on what you feel is right and wrong or have rules for each household to make it easier. It’s all about communication and coming to an agreement together. Good luck.

Give her a chance…it was you husband that cheated on you not her…she might be the greatest stepmom that ever was…There is never too many people to love a child…DONT BE PETTY…I know alot of women that are good friends with the new stepmom…AND this goes for stepdad too…they are referred to as extra not step…

If she is taking care of them then she’ll have a right to discipline them, depending on how she plans to do it. If a punishment she chooses is something you’re completely against then you have every right to say something but if it’s something you would use yourself then you can’t say anything about it. Now if she just wants to be involved in punishment but continues not to aid in their care then she has no right to be involved. Tricky situation, on one hand, both of them are terrible people to do that to you but there’s nothing you can do about that as long as they’re good to the kids. You should definitely file for full custody either way, I wouldn’t trust them. Liars and cheats could very well end up abusive too, they obviously already have low morals.

Why why say anything if anything isn’t there to say. When something happened then you have to make your peace

As long as she’s not beating or abusing them then no. It’s her house and it wouldn’t be teaching the children respect.

Well if the kids are going to be watched by her while dad may be working during his visits. What do you expect her to do. Let them be free range kids? I mean she’s going to have to discipline them.

Legally she wouldn’t be able to spank or do physical punishment but could ground them or take toys away

Hes your EX husband and yes, you do

You have a say. My ex husband and I put things in our divorce about our kids and discipline and other things. And it’s working out for us

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I’m so sorry. :disappointed: Unfortunately, “not your house, not your rules.” With that said it all depends how things progress. Nacho parenting is a huge thing for stepparents.

Talk to her your about to become an extended family. She around your children for majority there time away from you why all the upheavel. Be civil teach your children that you are the better one.

Sorry but you sound kinda like your peed with the dad still

Is he an a hole. Yes.

But he your children’s father you can’t change that.

If shes not even getting them a drink or not doing things for them then shes a biotch and not her business to discipline them cause obviously shes immature and dont like them & dont care for them why would she not do anything for them that’s weird, she jealous of them then, why would your ex even think of being with a woman child that doesnt treat His kids Like Her Own heartless person they are children why treat them like their not there

you cannot control what they do in their home as long as there isn’t abuse.

As long as she not nasty about it… The babies are going to be part of her life too hun.

She . May feel she over stepping the mark so takes a step back. For you to CO

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a say in my husbands new wife disciplining our kids?

As long as the rules are consistent and the punishment is the same set by them as a 3. Working as a team is better for the child

Nope not her kids nothing she should say. She’s not happy that’s the same! My stepmom used to be mean and violent with us. I was scared to tell anyone, once I turned 16 I realized I could take away her lil confort and made sure to let her know that I would not be taking it anymore and that she had 2 options: 1) keep going and I talk to both of my parents or 2) calm down, be nice and fake it for the sake of my dad!

She picked option number 2) we’ve been faking it for over 10 years now. Make sure to let your kids know they need to talk to you if anything happens. They need to feel safe talking


Honestly, see a lawyer and get custody sorted, protect yourself and your children.

Ask the judge because when y’all got divorced the state tells you both what can and can’t take place.

It is healthy for the kids to see all parents within their life being able to act as parents.

Any conflict from any parents really has an affect on the children you must try as hard as it is for you to keep this from your children to give them the most stable upbringing possible x

You said they’ve been together a few months?? I wouldnt even be letting the kids around her its way too soon!! And no its not petty why would you want a woman whose only been in your kids lives a couple months the ability to discipline them. Im saying this from experience my mum constantly dated different guys and would bring them around us from day one and every single one of them took advantage of that ‘discipline’ (beating us black and blue) just be careful and any concerns speak to your ex husband x

See this is a tough one. I have a bonus child who’s 8 and 2 bio children. I discipline them all the same. I wouldn’t tell my own kids off and not my step daughter as that could look like I’m favouring her. If she’s in my house she has to follow the same rules as the others. We gentle parent tho so there isn’t much discipline and more natural consequences and learning. Being told not to do things and why and I don’t see an issue with that. I would also expend my eldests step mam to discipline her when she’s there as it’s her house. But it’s the type of discipline. If she was to hit her, scream at her, make her not want to go there anymore then 100% Ide put my foot down. But general day to day discipline while she’s at there house 100%.


Sounds like she’ll be making her own bed. Sit back girl and enjoy the shit show about to happen . Been there; head up boobs out smile . This will be short lived don’t get involved only if it’s damaging the kids . For them to take care of themselves is kind of good ; they will hate her soon don’t put her down in front of kids trust me you’ll love the ending :zipper_mouth_face:


I’m a step mam :blush: I’ve been in my stepson life since he was 2 years old he’s now 16 if my partners ex had told me not to discipline him I would have respected her decision when he was younger I wouldn’t have found it petty at all at the end of the day he is her child and she has the right to make that call if I was in the same situation as you I would feel exactly the same as you are now have a talk with your ex and see if you can work out a solution if not see a solicitor good luck hun sorry you have been put in this position it can’t be easy for you xx


It’s not petty at all. They’re not her children so she has no right


You need to let it go. Don’t ask your kids questions whrn they get home from their dads. You put them in an awkward position. They are safe

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If she’s not actively taking part in caring for them then she has no right to discipline them. However if she was putting effort in to help raise your kids and meet their needs then I fee she would have the right.

I would be pissed if my partners ex wife told me I couldn’t discipline there kids.
When there at my house it’s my rules. (The most they get is a time out or miss out on doing something the other kids get to do) to be fair they don’t have as harsh punishments as my kids get only because my step son (5) knows how to pull at his dads heart strings by saying he will never come back and that he hates him. My step kids get away with alot but still get disciplied for certain things.


My step kids have the same rules as my kid when they come my house even friends kids who come go by same rules so all the kids who come mine know no one is getting treated different

Well if she doesn’t want to act like a adult and help with the kids that’s including getting them a drink unless there old enough to get one themselves then she hasn’t got the right to discipline them. Can’t choose not to act like a step mom but choose to act like one when it comes down to telling them off

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Your children should respect his wife periodt. Some of these kids be so damn disrespectful and the step mom can’t do anything about. Wrong not in my house my house my rules or you don’t have to come over. The father should not allow his children nor wife to disrespect one another. The mother needs to mind her own business especially if she don’t know what’s going on in that house. From what I’m hearing it sounds like the mother not over her soon to be ex husband. When I discipline a kid usually it’s taking the tv away or the phone. Now as far as physical discipline that’s only for the father those are his children not mines. But they are going to respect me.

Defintly don’t bed him :joy:


My stepson is at my house 3-4 days a week… If I couldn’t discipline him what am I left with? A thug of a child thinks can do as he pleases. We all work together we communicate if he gets grounded from me then he is at both houses. Ridiculous comment if she is looking after the child and taken the child on as her own then that’s exactly as she should treat your children. Love them show them right from wrong and have fun.

It is hard but kids need rules and boundaries or they can be very naughty and disrespectful, but I would not let anyone hit or be nasty to the kids just talk and explain what is acceptable on both sides

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How do you do know she isn’t doing these things when they are with them? Do you go with them or are your kids telling you or why do you think that?

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Your saying she isn’t paying for your kids, like a drink…where’s the dad? Why isn’t he paying?
I mean, is she inviting your kids to dinner and then starving them?
This story is missing almost all details.

If I was the soon to be wife, I would be making the dad/husband pay for family days out. However I would be the one cooking dinner and home and telling the kids to stop screaming and not annoy the pet (made up story lol)

And if you tell your baby daddy his new wife can’t tell your kids off for being naughty… you’re in for one hell of an argument that will result in you crying alone and the kids getting over chastised by their dad because his wife has to keep quiet.
Cause kids always go home and tell mummy that the nasty lady told me off…I’m guessing you’ve already made it clear to your kids you don’t like her and that they don’t need to do whatever she says to


I so disagree, with some.of these comments… like really the guy is going to remarry, and eventually the mother will have to get over that part… my husband is my oldest daughters step-dad, and guess what?? He damn sure has every right to discipline her, :woman_shrugging: pretty sure it’s a touchy subject, but a soon to be or a step parent should also have some kind of role as well… I wouldn’t want any kids running me over or saying to my face, well my mom said, “I didn’t have to listen to you or you can’t get on to me”.


Depends on the age of the children and what you are calling discipline. If you have a problem with her yelling at them when they are misbehaving, or putting them in a corner, or reinforcing what your ex is saying while he’s trying to discipline… you’re being petty. When you send your kids to school, do you expect the teachers not to discipline your child when they act out? Of course not… teachers yell at kids, set them outside the classroom, or send them down to the principal. Now if your talking spanking that, in my opinion should only be done by the parent.

It’s easy to convince yourself you’re going to do xyz for abc reason…even though deep down…you know you’re using abc reason as an excuse and an excuse only.
Unfortunately I think that’s what’s happening here.
You’re using her lack of involvement as an excuse to tell your children they don’t have to listen. So they can be as mean or disrespectful as they want.
Idk how old your kids are. That behavior may start over there but after a while? It will transfer to school, public places, and even your own house.
You won’t just be hurting your ex and his partner you’ll be hurting your children as well.

I think it would be appropriate to sit down with your ex and his partner and talk about rules and discipline methods. To try to agree on things before hand so your children get consistency.
But that’s about it.


I kind of have a similar situation that I submitted but it never got posted. :frowning: I wish you the best of luck. I can’t see my step kids because she is so hell bent on breaking me and my fiance up because she ruined their marriage… Now she’s pregnant with another guy’s baby and she still wants to take my fiance for me. The way she hurts us both is by keeping the kids from us… We were at work one day and he gave my mother permission to discipline the kids if they were bad, when the kids went home they told their mother that my mom had whooped them. Now they can’t come back to the house… Also she starts unnecessary drama so my mother said that she’s not allowed here. We live with my mother right now because times are hard. It is my mother’s house so I’m respecting her wishes. Plus it is my fiance’s home too, so I don’t really think she has any business over here. But she thinks, I can’t come to your house so you can’t come to mine and you can’t see my kids. What do I do?? :sob: They have no divorce papers drawn up yet and I’m okay with that… But she takes so much money from him every week just because she thinks she can… She doesn’t want to work and she doesn’t even take care of her kids… But she’s pregnant with another one… Her 4th ONE. Would anybody like to give me advice? He loves me and I love him but I can’t deal with the disrespect from her… But I also know you can’t change a bitter woman…

One night we were all hanging out just because we wanted to get a feel of each other, she basically dry humped my man in front of me and she thought it was okay… She did it in front of her boyfriend and he was even okay with it… I’m not okay with my step kids being around anything like that…*

There is nothing you can do. Trust me. Even if you try to go to court. My kids are getting older and don’t want to be there as often. They love their father dearly. But its not a welcoming home. So I would say just get along for the kids sake. It’s wonderful if you can do it.

A step mother is to be a gracious host, and only that. My husband disciplines his boys and I discipline mine.
If a step parent over steps, it could turn sour.


Ok, I get the desire to be petty.
If your kid gets away with certain behaviors in one situation, you’re going to start having discipline issues all around. Consistency in expected behavior is crucial, otherwise you may find yourself with a kid who doesn’t listen and challenges YOUR authority. It is what it is, now it’s time to raise the child.

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This may help… Someday she’s going to be going through what you are right now… Once a cheat always a cheat. Work on your relationship with the children, that’s the most important.

As much as you want to be petty, you have no say on how their household works. Just from personal experience, if you want to have a say in their household, be ready for them to have a say in your household. This was a very hard lesson for me to learn. Kids quickly learn different rules for different houses. Unless your ready to open up your life for her and him to comment and tell you what to do, don’t think you can tell them what to do. In custody situations it’s always a boomarang. What you do to them will be done to you.

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Their your children so yes

I must be old school …

Children need to respect the adults in their lives, and the adults in their lives are responsible for their well being.

This means that the adults need to act like adults. Your children won’t respect any of you if you you are snippy and petty with each other. All three of the adults need to put the needs of the children first, and try to provide a “drama free” environment for them, in both households. The kids are not responsible for the breakup and all the changes that come with it, that affect their lives.

The children won’t respect the “stepmom” if she is not allowed to be the adult caregiver in her own home. They need to know that they will be disciplined in either home, in the same manner. If they would be grounded for screwing up in your home, they need to be grounded for the same offense in her home. Discipline needs to be consistent in both places. If the children realize that discipline is “off limits” for the stepmom, they will take advantage of that … and, they will prefer to be in her household over yours … AND they will end up being confused little brats that nobody wants to deal with.

The changes that you and your husband are getting ready to go through, as you become divorced and he becomes remarried, are going to be awkward enough. The very least that all of the adults can do is try to keep both households consistent in the care of the children.

I would not like a strange woman, who I feel “stole” my husband, disciplining my children when they were in her care. I wouldn’t want my children in the care of a strange woman, period. But the situation is what it is, so now the least you can do is make her less of a stranger, so that you can trust her with your children.

Besides, it will keep your husband/ex on his toes if you and the new woman in his life are allied for the children’s sake. The children will benefit from it, and so will you in the long run.


My ex called the police on my then boyfriend. Went to court and was court ordered to not allow. Yes. There is a way.

Either way you don’t get a say if she gets a say. You can’t control anyone else’s household. You couldn’t control his dumbass in your house what makes you think you can control him in his own either?

Come on now babe…get honest lol.
You know… I know…WE ALL KNOW your running put of the strength to hold back the pettiness hun, and I do not blame you one bit! It would be hard as hell to reign that shit in 24/7 when your husband obliterates your entire family like that!
Good luck hun,you’ve held it together this long don’t stumble now! X

Yeahhhhh so this is that petty shit. If she is required to help raise your kids in anyway, why would she not be allowed to discipline? And honestly, she is probably not being involved now for a reason. Especially if this is the type of thoughts you have about her.

Depends on what you deem as discipline. I don’t hit my kids and I wouldn’t allow anyone else to do so either- bio or step. But say, revoking screen time for a legitimate reason I could see as acceptable.

Step parents should not discipline. He can consult her and she csn support him but she doesn’t get to discipline

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It’s not petty, it’s facts. Courts do not recognize new wife’s or girlfriends as anything but a support system for the parent. Not a disciplinarian, a finacial provider or a parent substitute. She has no say in anything regarding your child. All decisions are for the parents to decide on using coparenting, and that’s it. Not petty, and she should understand this seeing how she already does nothing for the child, she can’t pick and choose what she is involved in. It isn’t her place and courts will and do back the parents on this topic. She is merely a support system for the father, nothing less and nothing more. Same goes for you if you decide to have a new man in your life, he is to do the same. Remember that.

All of you woman absolutely blow my fucking mind. You want say so in his house but don’t want him to have say so in your house. You don’t want “strange” woman around your kids well what about the “strange” men in your life? It goes both fucking ways! Moms are not automatically better parents just because we are mother’s. If your children are in her home, she has absolutely every right to discipline whatever child is in her house. Now I’m not saying to beat the children but yes she can ground them, send them to their room, take things away. It’s not your house, you have no fucking say whatsoever!!!