What they did was totally inappropriate.
4 Likes
If you have my child, I need to know where you are and where you are going to be every minute. Idc if it’s a trip to Walmart. And if they’re touchy about that then they don’t have to take my kid anywhere. Ever. Period. Good for you for speaking up about something you’re uncomfortable with. They are being petty too acting like you have repercussions for saying what you said.
9 Likes
Not a helicopter mom! Car wrecks are my biggest fear especially when my children are away from me. My oldest was in one and my ex didn’t tell me until after and never took her to get checked out. He has a bad history of drugs & alcohol with vehicles. It’s a respect thing to let the parents know. Anything can happen.
2 Likes
Sounds like maybe you said it in kind of a snotty way.
2 Likes
I would move out. Keep the child from them until they respect you as a parent we much as they do their son as a parent.
2 Likes
No don’t take
my child anywhere without my permission period!!! Who does he think he is and the damn gpa is only hurting himself the grandmother and the baby by saying they’re not taking care of her anymore … what a great grandfather he is that jerk off!! What does he think holding over your head that you’re married to his son, and in there house that holds weight pleasseee!!.. so what!!! And so what he did by taking your child out of town wasn’t wrong?!! what if nobody knew where they were and something happened damn dummies. your mother and it 100% ok to tell people about themselves when it comes to YOUR CHILD!
You should be bitching at your fiance with that attitude. Grandpa told one of you, that’s good enough. All 3 of you need to work on your communication skills though 
I need more info… Like how far was the next town, how long did they have her for and when did they drop her off and how old is the child?
2 Likes
I would be upset that I wasn’t told they were taking her out of town. Like you said anything could happen. If your fiance knew he should have been the one to tell you. The text you sent probably came off wrong but I’m sure you were upset that no one told you and you could have gone completely off on them in the text. Grandpa was completely out of line in his phone call. Yes he may he grandpa but you are mom and they can’t take her out of town without your ok.
2 Likes
My mom watches my 4 yr old son while I work BUT she respects me enough to let me know if they plan on going out of town, since we live in a small town not much here. Its ALL about respect!
3 Likes
I would want to know where my child is and with whom …
3 Likes
Since, OP has been replying to comments and now seeing how her story is changing yes you’re being dramatic af. Your OP states that YOUR FIANCÉ dropped your child off at his parents and now in the comments it’s you both did. Which is it? You then admit that you’ve never told them that you want them to tell you if they are going somewhere with your child. How are they supposed to know that’s something you want to know when YOU choose to leave your child in their care. You then admit that you texted them to check up on your child and that they INFORMED you that they were driving and that they were going out of town. So, instead of calling them right then and being like “hey, next time you go out of time let me know.” You wait until you pick your child up and conveniently forget to say something about it and then decide to send them some stupid ass passive aggressive text. I secretly hope your future in-laws find out about this post.
You handled it so well! I’m proud of you. The way that grandad handled it was awful, especially saying he doesn’t want to see your daughter anymore. Watch your fiance’s behavior, too, because he should be taking your side and if he doesn’t that’s a sign
6 Likes
Everybody is in the wrong!! The fiance’s, the Grandad, and you. Your not wrong for asking- just the way you went about it. First the Daddy owes you explanation on why you wasn’t informed. Then instead of lashing out at the Grandparents you should have had a Adult Conversation with them about your feelings and concerns etc… COMMUNICATION is the KEY to all of this… i agree with being upset and wanting to know where my child is at all times… I agree with that 100%.
1 Like
It is a shame that people do this. But if they are willing to be spiteful enough to stop seeing their granddaughter then seeing her was never their concern. Sucks they would make her pay the price of not seeing her grand parents to be some type of way to you.
1 Like
I just reread the post. The first paragraph says, do I have the right to be upset my fiancé didn’t tell me where our child was. Did he not tell you he was taking child to grandparents house? If this is case be pissed at fiancé to start with.
A little further down in post you stayed you forgot to mention being pissed off about them taking her out of town. As a parent if I was really angry to begin with I NEVER would have forgot to mention it when child was dropped off. If you were truly that angry you would have confronted them at drop off. The way you wrote your post, you came off as snarky. It also sounds like from the post that they are there to help with her when asked. I’d put my pride aside and call them and talk like adults. I would have my fiancé right beside me to stand united.
4 Likes
He has lost his dang mind talking to you like that about YOUR CHILD. I would move out his house since he want to hold that over your head.
1 Like
Umm yes, they need to tell you.
1 Like
I would’ve let your fiance handle it and would’ve waited until we were face to face if he wasn’t a viable option. Things you say over text can come off wrong.
His parents, his problem, though. I would move out of that house though if they feel they are giving you a handout and not a hand up.
Yes, you definitely should be asked (permission) prior to out of town anything. Sounds like a landlord tenant type of relationship with your fiance and in-laws, but that doesn’t entitle them to control your life or allow them anything with your child. Full stop. They need boundaries.
3 Likes
Misscommunication…
Explain to their face what you mean. Sometimes the older generation don’t get the emotions behind a text so make up their own…
2 Likes
As a parent u have every right to know. Sorry if hurt ur feelings
2 Likes
No you’re wrong it’s not the grandparents place to tell you it’s your child’s fathers. He let her go. You should of took it up with him And got upset with him for not telling you your child’s whereabouts. With that being said your father in law doesn’t have any right to cuss or yell at you either. Both of you were wrong… period.
2 Likes
OP
Please remember, some parents drop their kids off with grandparents Friday and don’t see or hear from them again till Sunday. Or do weekly drop offs to grandparents. So, no this wouldn’t concern them… probably how a lot of the rude people above parent.
I do not leave a car seat for anyone watching my child. I dont want them driving her around. I also rarely have my child babysat because i work full time, so when i do, the grand parents ask and they come to my house. Helicopter mom? Heck yes i am, and i dont give a hoot. You wanna know where your child is, then tell them they need to let you know. End of story. If they want to treat you that way they dont need to watch her.
Sorry but id rather be aware where my child is then have no idea.
5 Likes
How far out if town are we talking? Next town over, 30mins, 1hr, more? It common courtesy to let a parent know what your plans are. What if something happened!?
What did your SO say? Did he know? He needs to talk with his parents. Thank then for helping, however a quick text, a heads up would be nice.
1 Like
Out of town like, next town over or legit on an overnight trip??
Frankly, I’d like to know but my mom always just told me. 🤷
I never had to ask.
They are grandparents. Had their bern an accident, nobody would’ve known. So yes, a quick text saying hey…going here, is not that hard.
1 Like
Eh on my side I think it’s ridiculous to ask that they always tell you where they are going. When my kids are with their grandparents i wouldn’t care if they took them anywhere because I trust them with my kids full heartedly.
4 Likes
Uh you should know where your kid is at all times. Especially going out of town. He’s right, they are her GRANDPARENTS and he needs to learn his place as a fucking grandparent which is not running around with someone’s baby and not saying shit.
I think you should find a different place to live with your future husband when possible. That way you distance yourself.
I don’t think it’s right what they said but I think having a face to face conversation with them. Your FNL sounds like a narcissist.
1 Like
Nope I agree with you. You are the parent and no matter who it is, they need to tell you where they are taking your child and what they’re doing with your child incase they accidentally put them in danger, whether it’s something they eat or an accident happens, YOU NEED TO KNOW.
And it’s not like you demanded them to ask your permission (which they should anyways) but it’s not that hard to let you know that they are taking your child out of town!
3 Likes
Yeah you messed up by messaging the grandparent’s.
Not their fault as they were given permission by the dad.
They got annoyed and rightly so as you are being a bit control freaky
Your messages should have been sent to the dad
And dads are not less important than mums they can make decisions too! But he should have run it by you, yes.
2 Likes
I’d say “ok” find somewhere else to live and stop letting them see the kid. He wants to threaten not only your stability but your child’s and their child’s as well? Well, that’s just toxic
5 Likes
You are not overreacting. You are the parent. You should know where your child is at all times.
3 Likes
Oh Damn u need to continue to put ur foot down and don’t let them tell u how to raise ur child I’m glad my in laws won’t do that cuz I would move so far away with my man and child
You have the right to know where your child is at all times. If they were going somewhere they should have at least texted so that you knew in case of an emergency. I would also look for your own house with your partner so that they can’t use anything against you for example; ‘you live in my house so I can say what happens in it’.
3 Likes
It’s weird he got that mad! You are the mom, you didn’t know. I’d definitely want to know where my child was!!
3 Likes
Um no. My mom is very close with my kids and takesthem when she can. One weekend spure of the moment she got the chance to go to my sister’s out of town, she asked me if she could take my kids. Because they’re my kids and I need to know where they’re at. Even thou I fully trust my parents that’s not the point.
4 Likes
My mom takes my kids wherever. Doesnt bother me because I fully trust her.
The “that would be amazing” was snippy, and probably was the part that made them blow up.
3 Likes
No one would be taking my kids out of town without my knowledge. The 1 time it was mentioned I said no and had my child home! Do I trust the person who had my son, YES. Do I trust the other drivers on the road for a 2hour trip on a public holiday? NO.
3 Likes
I guess I also need to know what out of town means to you. I live 45 min from my mom. When she has my daughter overnight, they usually go to the next town over to buy stuff at Walmart and grab dinner. It’s literally 17 miles away. I don’t think that’s an issue.
Depends on whether “out of town” means the next town over or another state hours away. You probably should have addressed it with a direct conversation instead of a passive-aggressive text too. That said, when you have parents or grandparents paying for you & your child to live & providing free childcare, I think you have to grant some leeway so long as they aren’t putting the child in danger. If you want total control, be totally independent.
3 Likes
Well that had blown up quickly. Next time talk to your partner first and he needs to address his parents if you both come to mutual agreement about the issue. If they are still within 1-2 hours drive I don’t see an issue.
2 Likes
I would have freaked the f@@k out . I trust my in laws but not knowing where you kid is , is not ok . As far as the house move out
8 Likes
Instead of texting you should of said it face to face.
Did your fiance know? If he did and you messaged then that would be a big no no on what you did.
I get it…next time take your kid with you if you need to be told every time they do something with her.
1 Like
I think theres a whole lot going on here besides this.
And quit saying out of town! You make it sound like they took her on a trip overnight
And if you were that worried why didnt your fiance call them ? Why did you not let him handle his parents?
3 Likes
You were wrong in texting the grandparents when they had permission from the father. You should have talked to your fiancé about it.
2 Likes
Where were they going
And in all honesty if they have permission from the father then why did you need permission to you guys aren’t separated he’s not trying to steal your kid right grandparents aren’t trying to take off with him and kidnapping
You deserve to know where your kid is. Seems like a bit of an over reaction on their part.
10 Likes
You arent being dramatic and her father needs to back you up. I wouldnt go anywhere other than where I have been. He is paying Bill’s there for you and his kid to stay. His parents seem possessive and his dad needs to learn and respect boundaries. He is fortunate it wasnt me. He would get cussed out back.
5 Likes
Ok you have been very rude… That’s my take… I get what u are saying, however when you send a text people will read it the worst way as there is no emotion in a text. They cant see you face, they cant see that you were worried, they cant see your emotions or hear the tone of your voice… Things that are important to you have the courtesy and manners to go ask them, especially as you live near them and they have helped you so much. not send a blunt text. Talk about ungrateful.
3 Likes
cut the you are the parent crap theres obviously a trust issue and the grand parents are rightfully upset that your effectively whinging and questioning them . Most kids these days are practically bringing up grand kids because the parents are more focused on work . I would have been thankful for help bringing mine up alone and fully trust the childs grand parents. Learn to trust if they are in the care of others . The grand father did the right thing saying sod you and sadly your child loses out in the future and your a trustworthy babysitter down .
3 Likes
Well you did say please.
Um no you are no over reacting!!! You have a right to know where your child is at all times and if they cant respect that then they dont need to take her anywhere anyway!
6 Likes
My mil kept my kids as they were growing up i never ask where they were going. I trusted her completely i knew she loved them as much as i did and would give her life for them. I am now the grandmother of 15. I have grands every week from friday to monday. The baby mommas never ask where we are going or what we are doing. They know i love them with all my heart and do everything in my power to insure they are safe and do not get hurt. I would give my life for them.
Cut. Them. Off!!!
Grandparents don’t inherently have any right to the child. YOU are the parent and grandparents only have the rights YOU give them! There is NO way I (or my husband) would allow someone to speak to me that way and continue to see our child. They absolutely have to respect you as the parent.
7 Likes
I personally would want to know wherr my child was. I dont think it was right of them to be that way. Your the mom they need to respect that. And your soon to be hubby needs to back you up on that as well. The least they could have done was send a txt saying hey we are going out and about.
1 Like
I mean I got hot headed when my mom didn’t get on the elevator with us and started walking off with my son. Idc who u are im paranoidand there’s to many crazy ppl in this world.
3 Likes
Be careful i was in a situation like this my gma owned the house and had issues with my fiance that she started and because she couldnt get her way made false police reports saying hed hit her and threatened her non of which NEVER happened. When the cops realized she was bs’in and told us to watch out she got a restraining on him i was 7m pregnant and he was not allowed on the property to remove his stuff… She went crazy had a family reunion on the front porch while i moved shit out in less then a day with no money and no where to go. Move out asap before it goes beyond repair. And let him handle his parents if they cannot respect you
Idk, when my granddaughters are with me , I take them anywhere I want 
Once I’m there I might or might not ring my daughter and son in law , but I don’t ask permission, if I did they’d think it was weird.
They know I love my grannies as much as they do.
I guess if it bothers you that much, it should have been mentioned a long time ago before you left them to care for your child.
1 Like
You had a right to ask to tell you when they change plans. Last I heard, the Lord system went out in the 1500s. Your kid your right to know
And why is that a problem? To keep peace, I wld try to explain why you just need to know. He sounds like a jerk.
So you seriously think your the only parent? Dads cant make decisions? Hope he leaves you and takes the kid, because your that woman that would seperate a kid and dad just because YOUR the parent.
4 Likes
I think everyone is overreacting in their comments. She said they WENT OUT OF TOWN without telling her. I have my grands all the time, but I don’t leave town with them without informing their parents. She’s not saying they ran to the grocery store without telling her. THEY LEFT TOWN without telling her. There’s a HUGE difference.
5 Likes
OMG the grandparents were providing you with free childcare in a safe environment and took the babe with them where they were going instead of saying no we can’t watch you child today. .we have plans…and you got pissy about it and caught feelings but are not adult enough to talk to them in person so you texted them and now you want to know why they are making a stink? Hint… It is because they assumed since they are the grandparents and you have deemed them fit to care for your child that also meant decisions about a goddamned car ride without asking your permission. If that was something you didn’t want them to do without asking then you should have told them that upfront. And grow up and communicate and stop texting. Good lord. My in-laws had my child 5 days a week when I went back to work. I was grateful for the help and didn’t expect them to put their life on hold because they had my son. He went where they went.
Dr phil always says. " his parents his problem, her parents her problem " and hes right. Thats not your battle to have with them. He needs to man up and talk to them about it instead of having u get attacked and belittled, eap when your intentions were good.
Wow!!! What Assholes!!! It’s common courtesy to inform a parent when you take their child out of town!!! These grandparents sound very unreasonable!!
You was kinda rude first off Miss thang and I feel like there was more to that text bc dad called asking. but fuuuuuck him! Let them stay away 
after all it is YOUR CHILD and he even stated they wasn’t going to help anymore. Let them be petty about it. Eventually they will want to spend time with her and when that happens just ask civil ““I am more then happy to let her spend time with her grandparents but all I ask if you decide to go out of town with MY daughter I would just like a heads up incase if anything was to happen.”” And if they decide to be pissy all over again then do not let her go and let them come over and visit since they don’t know to act like adults and just give a simple heads up.
1 Like
I would want to know if someone took my kid out of town for sure !! What if they had a accident and you heard on the news but thought to yourself thankfully my kids safe at —— with there grandies but really there not 
2 Likes
If i messaged my mum every time she took my girl out for lunch park movies whatever it may be … wholey hell my mum would tell me where to go. When she spends time with her grandparents dont question where they take her if you wana know every where they go u got trust issues and simply dont let her go again.
Out of town, yes i would be concerned
Locally no.
I’d just be glad they help out my kids are with me 24.7!
Wondering what the deeper issue is??? You either trust them or not. The Where is not as important as trust and safety in the persons you’re leaving your child with.
Sit down and have an adult conversation. In person.
Explain that you want to know NOT because you don’t trust them to care for her, but because if something were to happen to ALL of them, or just her, it’s important you have the information beforehand. For example, if a car hit them. Or if they were late you wouldn’t want to worry when they simply decided to stop for food or hit traffic.
You aren’t overreacting. They are. But is that worth cutting off their relationship with your child and causing issues in your marriage? That’s your choice here.
So let everyone cool off and then talk about it. This isn’t a possession thing or a trust issue, and it seems to me that’s how they took it. So set the record straight, don’t kiss up or anything, but be the bigger person and try to mend fences for your child’s and spouse’s sakes. It’s better to swallow pride and have a happy family than to be right and have a rift.
You aren’t wrong. But that doesn’t make this worth cutting ties.
That happens to allot of people and they just get upset don’t know why but your the mother you should know where you child goes and what your child does but if it’s with the grandparents and they take good care of the child then just tell them I need to know where your going and I’m not saying no I just want to know where my kid will be staying at. Older people get upset. It’s nothing don’t worry just next time talk to them in person instead on the phone or text message it could sound different z