Do I Have the Right to Feel the Way I Do?

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"I know I probably do not have the right to even be upset about this. But I feel the need to at least vent about this. Thanks for reading if you do! My father was recently diagnosed with stage 1 cancer. The doctors said they caught it early and it had not spread, so it he will have surgery to remove it very soon. While this is very scary, and I have to admit I was pretty shocked at first, still am. I am annoyed that my sister took right to amazon to buy a hoodie in support of my father and got her nails done the same day with the cancer support ribbon. Just to run to facebook the next day and post the photos. I feel like she is doing it for attention…like some things don’t need to be “shown off” on facebook. My own father hasn’t even posted about his own situaiton. Yet she is going to be dramatic about it and do all these dramatic things. IDK maybe I am in the wrong about how I am feeling… What do you think?"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"You def have a right to any feelings you have but she also has a right to have her own feelings as well. This may be her way of coping is letting others know and getting sympathy or hearing he’ll be ok. OR yes it could be for attention. I would ask your dad how he feels about it and discuss as a family how he wants to proceed about sharing HIS medical info on social media. I’d be pissed if anyone posted about me having any illness without asking me if I want it shared first."

"My mom hid her cancer from all her siblings but two. She didn’t want everyone to feel sorry for her. My cousin messaged me trying to be nosy my mom said tell her I got a haircut. We respected her wishes."

"If anyone has anything to say about it , it is your Dad. I would find out how he feels about his personal medical information being put on FB. If he is ok with it then leave her be. It may be that it’s for attention or it could be her way of coping with a scary situation. We all deal with stress in different ways and hers is apparently outwards. So as long as Dad isn’t upset, you shouldn’t be either."

"How’s your dad feel about it? If he isn’t upset about it, you shouldn’t be either. It’s about him right now, not how either of you are feeling."

"Some people feel the need to post their lives on social media …. Nobody really cares …. And I don’t think it’s her place to tell people about your dads cancer unless she asks him if he is ok with it"

"Hes the one who should take the lead on this information, her job is to support him how he needs to be supported…"

"She probably should’ve asked him before going and posting about his health issues"

"I personally would be extremely upset if a family member was posting my medical issues on a public forum. I sense some sympathy or attention seeking motivation in her actions. It’s not what she’s doing that is as bothersome as her posting it publicly."

"Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can take over your fathers life and speak for him. Ask him how he feels about her doing it before you start any family drama over it"

"She should have asked ur father first if it was ok to post."

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