What kind of mother would truly even question anyone over there own child?!!? Seriously Im in love with my husband of 16 years however my children come first NO matter what or who
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Youâre an actual POS if thatâs even a question for you. I feel bad for your children.
Sorry excuse for a parent.
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Thatâs your childâŚhow is this even a question??? The fact you are questioning it makes me question whether you should be a parentâŚits a shame. Your daughter deserves better
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This isnât even right. My husband went to hell and back with my babies. And because of that. He is their daddy. All grown now. A man who loves you. Loves ALL of you. if he canât handle it. Let him walk. I get thatâs itâs hard. But it wonât always be this bad. Your baby has some trauma sheâs trying to deal with. The best thing he can do. Is prove to her. He ainât gonna be scared off that easily. And if he is. 
Then is it really worth it?
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Yeah Sister, I have an IDEA. TELL that little BITCH to MAN THE Fk UP or Get the Fk OUT! He just CANT HANDLE the Family LIFE that He HIMSELF added Two More children into BUT also has NO PROBLEM abandoning the RESPONSIBILITY of His Family on YOU? He sounds like a real WINNER. MY only question is, could HIS behavior have anything to do with how the 14yo is behaving? I would have already retained an Attorney, But thatâs ME
Omg really had to ask shame on you I pray for your child
Always, always choose your children. You should not have to choose, first off. But, if he is making you, then always choose your child, over any man. Sounds like she needs you and your support more than ever right now. If he cannot handle it as a grown adult, then he isnât the one for you and your children. He should support you and your children if he truly loves you. And he shouldnât even be making you think you have to chose between him and your own child.
If you ever have to chose it should be your child unless theyâre purposefully giving you a hard time.
If he loves you it shouldnât have to be a choice. If he wants to exit the marriage at the first set of problems tell him to kick rocks⌠by all means hopefully his child is perfect he might leave his kid to.
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Your daughter should be your number 1 priority and shame on YOU if she isnât. Maybe you should take a hard long look at why she is struggling in the first place.
This should not even be a question that you have to think about.
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how the hell is that even a question your kids are always family no guy is even asking means you know the answer dump him
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Children come first before ANYBODY ELSE!!! Wtf!
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Whoa this is a question?! Itâs not your daughterâs fault she is the way she is and youâre her damn mother! Unless she did bad drugs and is this way because of the drugs. You are her mom
You gave her life you didnât give him s*** besides children and heâs already wanted to get rid of one of them that you have what happens when the rest of them act up are you supposed to throw them away too
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Who did you give life too? Shouldnât even be a question!!!
Youâre daughter is your Blood, no decision to make
You choose your kid. Period.
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I feel like this has to be a joke or a social experiment
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His instability isnât helping your daughter. He knows where to find the door
Quit having children, clearly you canât handle them if you think you have to choose 
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if you choose your husband over your kids - youâre a piece of shit
Also, op said they feel like they have to choose⌠NOT that their husband told them to or: if they even have to choose one or the other
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I think you are stressing maybe over how to handle the situation yourself when in fact your husband is putting more stress in the situation by adding his threat of exit. Instead, you both should be trying to figure out the root of the problem in order to make things better all around for everyone. Is it school, friends, your husband, drugs or abuse? What changed in your lives when this child started having issues? If he leaves maybe youâre afraid of financial issues. Understandable considering youâd be home less to help your child. Call on friends or family to help.
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Uh you choose you CHILD. She needs you.
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Ur babies come before any man!!!
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Stepfathers rarely treat step children as their own. Do you really wasnât to settle and risk losing the love of your daughter forever.
The fact that youâre even thinking about abandoning your daughter is sickening. And youâve even researched a placement for her? I think you may be the root to her problems. I wouldnt know how to act either if I knew my parent didnât want me.
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The man I have been with for the past 3 years just left me because he is going through personal mental crisis and my kids basically forced him out because they âdonât like himâ. He left because it was causing a big riff between my kids and I. My heart is shattered. I thought after all this I have been through, that he was my forever. I miss him so much. 
And I am angry at my kids (grown up kids). Follow your heart but listen to your head. Good luck.
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You let that man go.
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Uh show this loser the door. Your fucking kid comes first. I canât believe you even have to ask!
Wow,your husband is an adult,and youâve been together 5 yrs,and now heâs noticing he canât handle it,and your daughter is a child w special needs,and needs you as a mom,to keep the family together,and your current husband wants you to chooseâŚand whatâs going to happen when he wants to leave behind your youngest,I would get rid of the guy,and realize,heâs only thinking of himself!
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Your child comes before any man. If he canât love and accept your daughter, he is not worthy of your love and does not deserve to be in the lives of your children. Throw the whole man away.
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Your a fool to even ask this question. Your CHILD should come before any MAN/WOMAN !
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How is this even a questionâŚ
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You child comes first! Period.
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Your kids will always be first. A man will walk away quicker than your children will.
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Wtf is wrong w you ?
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Well I think itâs a shame that your husband isnât standing up and being strong and helping you with the matter instead of trying to cop out of the situation . Itâs just not that easy you just donât decide when things get tough to just go e up on your family thatâs not the way it works at all. If I was the wife and my husband wanted to give up on us there wouldnât be a decision to wether I pick him or my child it would always be my child for sure âŚ
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Ok first of all if youâre even asking this question means you care more about him than your own kids. Any real mother puts her kids first
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Donât judge til you walk in her shoes.
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WowâŚ.HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASKED? Your children , they didnât ask to be born.
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Are you seriously questioning if you should choose between your TEENAGED child and your husband? Like how is that even a question. Shit like this is exactly why she is probably having so many issues. Smh. You donât deserve to be her mom. Difficult or not. Thatâs your fuckin kid.
Your child comes first no matter what. Men come and go your child is part of you. Never put a man above your child or your a piece of shit
Chose your child how can this even be a question!?
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Ok⌠so Imma go against the grain here. My marriage is until death do us part. God first, husband second, kids third, then everybody else. Thatâs how God says itâs supposed to be. Accommodate them both. Make sure your husband and yourself are getting down time away from the kids/stress but keep up the work with your daughter. You donât have to choose. Love them both to the best of your ability. If he leaves then he wasnât meant to be.
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Children always come first. My child has so many many issues and we need lots of services. If my partner canât handle it they can walk away.
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Always choose your child
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Um you choose your child.
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So you will have her and so many children you have made why with all this turmoil you added more until itâs overpowering for every one heâs cracking Start low on meds and increase slowly or sure enough youâll say they gave my child meds that made her la la by the way get a good doc with lots of degrees I donât want to pick on you it sounds like you are really trying you may not be aware of a lot of things work with her doctor donât tie his hands be open to trying stuff mood disorders are tricky one day up two days down depressed break through episode once in a while remember one thing itâs not your fault dont internalize it constantly you could do that for years donât
Did the issues with your daughter start BEFORE you started dating your husband? Or after?
If after, you need to think about what his presence or he himself has done to your daughter⌠just a thought.
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Iâve been in this boat. Youâre not alone. My daughter is 20 now but you sound like youâre writing my life over the last decade. Feel free to message me. Hugs.
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No wonder your child has problems.
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You dont need placement for her! You need placement for him, I love my fiance and the father of Mt children but Iâd choose my children every time no questions asked
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Placement is not available for her at this time (sis that means you already chose)
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That isnât a decision heâs asking you to make. Listen to him. Your partner is communicating with you, he hasnât asked you to do anything. He seems overwhelmed with the situation. Encourage him to seek therapy too, give him support and love.
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He married you which means youâre children are part of the package. End of story. Atleast thatâs how I feel.
As someone who has struggled with mental health and had been blamed for theyâre parents split (technically not my problem or fault at all), trust me when I say, itâll probably impact her alot too if you guys split up. Iâm sure she understands that this isnât easy for both her or you guys as parents. Mental health is tough and tricky, the fact that she is atleast accepting help is a wonderful step in the right direction. The last thing we want is someone thatâs supposed to love us, to give up on us, just because itâs tough in the moment. Your husbandâs frustration is valid but also selfish. Itâs our job as parents to help our children through the fires of theyâre lives, as Iâm sure they would do for us.
I guess what I am saying is, a marriage waxes and wanes, but the love and bond with your child never dies. This is your decision and your decision only to make.
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Children first! If us as parents canât take care of them when they depend on them. I work with kids with special needs and what they need the most isnât just the therapy but the love, support, and assistance from their parent. Thatâs something putting her someplace isnât going to give her. Sheâll just become another kid who fell through the cracks. That man of yours needs to grow up and step up, love on her real hard, or let you take care of the children and walk away. Youâre strong mama. More than you know, you just gotta have faith, let go, and let God. He is in control. His hardest battles goes to his strongest soldiers. Choose your daughter. Youâll be happier in the end.
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Are you really asking if you should choose YOUR OWN CHILD over some man youâre just now getting with? Sis. If you donât put that whole dude in the trash and be there for your damn daughter. No wonder she has the problems she does. Make her a priority!! Fck his feelings. And yours at this point. Protect your babies.
How is this even a question? There is nothing to chose from here, your child comes first!
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For anyone even saying one or the other is completely out of line and have no idea what they are talking about.
First of all whatâs going on for your daughter " the issues " will tell you alot.
If he wants to walk he can walk
But if you choose anyone over the other it will come back and bite you in the ass and you will forever hold it against them âŚ
This is a discussion for your therapist because they may be able to help your partner deal with the emotions and stress that heâs going through.
Like I said no one can tell you the answer without knowing what the issues are here
The fact you feel he is making you choose has answered your question l, no man should ever put you in that position
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How is this a question. Always choose your children.
Choose your kid.
Not even a question.
You never choose a partner over your kid.
So you choose your kid.
And if its too hard on him then let him go. Yall are better off in the long run.
Iâm 29 now but I was this kid.
My mom had me put in a hospital at 14, I was there till I was 15, and while I was in there she stuck me in state custody cuz my step dad couldnât deal (bio dad passed when I was 5). So I got out to a foster homeâŚ
I barely speak to her now. Iâve tried many times for the last 15 years to repair our relationship, but itâs been nearly impossible.
Theyâre still together though so I guess getting rid of me worked.
I say choose her. Good luck.
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You are the problem.
The fact that u can ask a question like this cements the fact that you are the problem.
Not your husband.
Not your child.
Just you.
There is nothing and no 1 more important that your children. If you think there is, then again, you are the problem.
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Children come first. End of story.
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Mental health is no oneâs fault. She didnât ask for it at birth. Having similar experiences I had wished my parents gave more love and patience towards me rather than sending me to all these people. Yes they can help because of doctor degrees but love of parents is most crucial. You can always get another husband even though it will be hard but you can only get one of your child. They are precious. Never feel like u need to choose anyone over your child. I have a daughter myself and as a kid I struggled with mental illness so I know both sides.
I certainly donât mean to sound condescending; however, if you have to ask whom to choose, then I feel you may need therapy. I would NEVER choose ANYONE over my children!!! It just doesnât work that way.
Best of luck!