That’s reimbursements to you for all you poured in to supporting your child on your own. Keep every last penny. Unless you want to maybe spend some on your adult child. Again it’s your choice. Your child isn’t entitled to nothing.
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Remember folks, she raised 2 kids alone!!!
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You are not obligated to give your child any money! You are being reimbursed for money spent
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You are just getting paid back for what you already paid. He is 20. Old enough to know better.
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Child support is for SUPPORTING the child. Back child support is repayment for what the parent spent on SUPPORTING THE CHILD. Responsibility is 50/50 with kids. It doesn’t all fall on 1 parent. Personally I think those who are saying its the sons money are RIDICULOUS.
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It’s back child support being you paid when he wasn’t so it’s yours
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Your money. Id be appalled.
I mean, why wouldn’t you? If your child could benefit from it, I don’t see why it’s that big of a deal? You didn’t receive it for how many years, your kid probably went without things that they wanted, or could’ve received joy from. Just give half and carry on. It’s not like you were banking on this, you weren’t guaranteed this money. I don’t see the big issue I guess.
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Who told your son about the money.
That is a very selfish and ungrateful of your son to even think that. You deserve every last penny. Treat yourself momma!!!
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keep it it’s your money.
That is not your son’s money. You spent that money on raising him. Your son has no right to ask for any of it!
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No
That money is yours unless you borrowed it from him
I don’t understand why you even told him about it
Ummm, absolutely not! Unless you feel like giving him some. 🤷
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No!!! What a cheek to even ask 
I don’t know . . Is he struggling in life now ?
I feel like there’s a few things that would contribute to how I’d handle it, including the amount of money.
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you earned it not him
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The hide of your son, shame on him
It’s back child support. Meaning what he should of paid you in the past to raise the child till they are 18. Your 20 yr old adult son isn’t entitled to that. If you want to give him some you can but you are legally not required to. You are no longer raising him.
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You should send your son screenshot of this thread. I hope he figures out where his thought process went wrong.
You are an amazing woman, and even though I don’t know you. I’m proud of what you accomplished.
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It’s YOUR money! YOU raised him!!!
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Questions: 1) is the back child support for 5 years that your son actually lived with you? 2) Was your son ever emancipated, married, or self supporting during that 5 year period?
I think I can guess the answers to these questions based on the fact that they sent the check to you and not him, but those are the factors a court would look at for who is entitled to the money.
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Kids these days feel like we (parents) owe them EVERYTHING!!! I had the same situation happen. Mind you, I’ve raised all my kids ALONE w/o help from the state or their donors!!! It’s YOU’RE money!! Give him the receipts for gas, food, utilities, dr appointments, sports, his fun money, cell phone, clothes man I can go on and on! I bet he wouldn’t say s…t after. Jeez this totally upsets me!! I’m so sorry!!!
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It’s not his money! You raised him without any help from his father. My guess he is talking to his father and he told him to tell you this.
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No you don’t…you were the parent taking care and paying for all their needs! Your son needs to not be so selfish thinking he is entitled to 50% of it…ask him if he paid for all of his food, clothes and needs when he was a child??
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Absolutely not. That is money you should have received all along for your children’s living expenses. Food, roof over their head, medical/car insurance and clothes.
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No you don’t. It was seized for a debt owed to you.
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No. You do not “owe” your son your back child support money. That money is yours. It’s reimbursing you for paying for your sons ENTIRE childhood. The back child support….is paying you back for his fathers financial responsibilities, that YOU covered upfront. If the money was meant for your son, the courts would have sent it to him.
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Sounds like his Dad got in his head and is telling him to tell you that, so Dad can get some of his money back!
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You don’t owe him one penny. That’s money his father owed you to help make his sons upbringing easier.
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It’s interesting to see all theses comments!!
I’m a single mum and works full-time and when I do get money from her dad it’s doesn’t get touched it’s for my daughter not for me! Child support is for the kids not you. You bring the kid into this world. I work hard and support my daughter my own way. That money should go towards his future. Even if you put it in a bank account to set him up for something.
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Unless your son supported himself during all those years that’s not his money lol wtf
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Omg . Tell him it’s in the mail and then move. Just kidding . Make him a list of what it cost to raise him, then tell him when he gets it to mail it to you. Tell him you’ll deduct the what ever his dad paid finally, he’ll owe you the rest of his life. Don’t worry you don’t owe him a damn penny of it.
I mean technically, no. You paid for his upbringing. But also, if you’re feeling generous maybe give him some? It’s up to you really.
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It’s your money but if it were me I’d send my child something
How did you get IRS to send it?? My granddaughter’s father is $3000 behind & my daughter is a thousand. The last pymt I got on C/S card was, now get this, 75 cents!!! You can’t fix stupid, and the c/s people are eat up with the dumb a**!!!
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Thats your money. He should be ashamed of himself
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Um… send it to him… it’s child support, not spousal support. Sorry.
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Child support is just what it sounds like … he did not support himself. You did! Not a penny should go to your son! I did not get any child support until my son was in his 20’s ( from back when he was 2) my son never even thought that was his money!!! For a second!! My son was adopted by my husband at 4…. He appreciates all that was given to him. It wasn’t easy back then… but I did everything I could for him.
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Ummm…child support took his half. The end 
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If my mom suddenly got back pay support from our dad, I wouldn’t dare ask her for a dime. But knowing her, she’d spend it all on my kids (I’m the only one out the adult children with kids. My brother is 23½, I’m 25. I have half siblings too.) My mom did the absolute best she could with what she had. She made it work with barely any help from our dad. I’m no longer entitled to it.
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Dnt listen to him…
Keep it
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Figure out ballpark what you’ve spent over the years on him, then show your son what half of that looks like. Tell him when his dad gives you enough to cover all that he owes you son can have half the excess.
Does he live with you? Time to teach him about real world finance.
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So lack of understanding all of the sacrifice you made to raise him
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Ugh no! Take a damn vacation alone or something
If it was me I would definitely share it with my child if they needed it for something to better themselves, not if they were irresponsible and just looking for a hand out🤷🏻♀️
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No…same thing happened to me,but I did give my then 19 year old son half just because it just made sense at that time!! But I have back CS for my 24 yr old daughter that goes into a card and I called the county to ask if the card could go in her name because she’s of age and the payments are so low and random…her response was “no that’s your money”…
When that happened to me and my dad never paid child support for me and I remember when I was young my mother had a calendar for every single week on Friday she would add that five dollars. That’s all my dad had to pay five dollars a week in child support I never paid my mother a dime. When I was 25 years old I got a check in the mail for $1100 and some odd cents and my mother threw a fit because she thought she was entitled to it. Which I guess in reality she probably was But it was sent to me so I kept it.
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Um no. Lol nice try kid. Mom already paid for you those years, that’s her payment for manning up for dads portion.
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My mom didn’t give me half. Mine ended up coming in payments and she let me have every cent. It helped me to get a very humble car. Pay for housing and utilities that she couldn’t help with to buy books and tuition. So instead of getting while I was younger and maybe having a slightly more frugal lifestyle, we lived simply and when it normally would have stopped and we wouldn’t have been able to comfortably afford my education… Probably both had to have worked two jobs which doesn’t leave a lot of time for studies or family time. I am thankful that that is the way it worked out for us. Proud of my mom for doing it for years by herself.
No, you covered all the expenses alone while your ex wasn’t contributing so the back payments go to you. Also, you don’t owe your child anything.
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That’s funny, the demand is what gets me child sounds selfish and ungrateful, back support is just that. A repayment to funds YOU already put out raising your children. Catch up on bills, treat yourself nice, etc because you deserve it! I’m sure if you felt child was in need or deserving you wouldn’t put your child out regardless. But who is he to demand lol
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No, not at all. And yikes on h!m for thinking h3 is entitled to anything.
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I say go on a trip with the money, you have more than earned it after doing it alone as a single mom. You spent your money all these years with no help, this is just the fathers portion being reimbursed. Your son is a brat for asking.
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Tell him he owes you 20 years of back rent, and to kick bricks lol. Sounds like the apple didn’t fall far from his father’s rotten tree. You OWE him NOTHING, that’s 100% all YOUR money, don’t give greedy a dime
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No you don’t have to send any to him. But if he is in need and you have extra funds being back paid it is OK to help our children.
Did you feed him. Did you provide medical and dental expenses, personal hygiene, food, gas, school expenses, entertainment expenses, vehicle/gas when older. Your son needs a lesson.
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WTF no way does he get any child support that you receive! He received his share growing up by you already! Food, clothes, a place to live etc! This is all yours Honey! Put aside for your retirement !
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I would put it away for his future but not tell him. If he buys a house it’s there etc. I wouldn’t tell them that’s what I did with it. If he is demanding it however take yourself on a nice long vacation
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Wow!! Tell him you will give him the part that’s left after the expenses of raising him. And if It doesn’t cover it you will bill him. Entitled kid 
so sorry. Flabbergasted is a good word for that 
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I’ll be the odd ball, I even talked this over with by husband to get his opinion, he automatically said give him all of it. Yes, 5 years ago he was still a child, but I do feel that child support is for the child not the parent. It should strictly go toward the child, nothing else. Maybe it would help him get a new vehicle or catch up on whatever bills he has himself. Maybe I’m just weird, but if it were me and my husband owed back child support or paid child support at all, it’d go straight toward my children. That’s not my money, it’s theirs.
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I am going to amend my previous statement. If the lack of receiving child support meant that you had to say no to all things fun with your children, were unable to take vacations or set aside money for their future, and you want to make that up to them, that is your choice to make. Maybe you would like to set a little aside to share with them, or take a great vacation together. I think it is important for your kids to understand that you raised them the best that you could with what you had. I am sure you made plenty of sacrifices for them which you probably don’t regret. However, what you do with the money you didn’t have then, and soon will have, is totally up to you.
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Did your son pay rent or utilities. If no then you don’t owe him. But if he did. Do the right thing. 
Now if your child is in college he can ask that he get funds as child support is usually given extention while children are college bound.
Tell him it is paying off his back room & board Ungrateful
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Lol he’s 20. Is he in college?
How old is this kid? Why does he know that your getting this money? Do you need it to keep a roof. Over his head,food on the table,lights on,clothes on the kids back,school supplies? Put it in an account for him. Give it to him later
I say no!!! You paid his way on your own it’s payback for the dad’s half of raising a child
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How ridiculous! You are getting paid back for expenses your ex should have contributed years ago. So many people do not understand.
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Dont even think about it!
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There’s a reason it’s being sent to you, only you, and not him. Keep it.
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My son actually gets most if not all the child support I get for him. I got his taxes last year and took him and his gf and my daughter on a weekend trip and I spent all of it on the kids technically it’d the child’s money
Is he gonna pay 50% of what it cost to raise him with no help?
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Child support is so that the other parent equally supports your child as if you were still together. The money is the parents, not the child’s to be used as deemed fit. You had to cover those cost by yourself. That is money owed to YOU. If your child had any of these things growing up you do not need to feel obligated to give them anything from YOUR back owed child support that you’re finally getting.
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By right, that is his money wether his father paid on his own or was forced (i.e) taxes being taken. You should at very least give him half of it.
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Hahahahha unless your kid plans on paying half of his upbringing, you owe him nothing.
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THE AUDACITY. The child support is essentially just paying YOU back for some of the money YOU had to spend raising him. Me personally I’d give him some but he’s not entitled to any of it.
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Tell him okay. Then send him a list of what he owes you for his childhood. Don’t include food or clothes or rent, you gotta do that but anything else, he owes you.
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Absolutely not. You still supported him alone.
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He Deserves Half 
Parents Are Forever Wanting To Be Thanked For Laying On Their Backs & Making A Baby & Then Doing WHAT YOUR SUPPOSED TO TOO RAISE THEM. He Didn’t Ask To Be Here & Is Entitled To His Half
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TBH my mom has such a good heart she would probably give me a portion, not half, but a portion. Never in a million years would I demand it from her though.
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He seems selfish just like his dad when dad wasn’t helping who feed him clothed him kept a roof over his head him lights and water so you owe him nothing truth be known he owes you
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Do you owe him the money? no. Do you HAVE to give him half? Absolutely not, but just me and my opinion only, I would put it up and save it for him, to buy a house and give him a jump in life, but if you don’t want to you don’t have to cause it’s back-pay as in paying you back…
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Child support is to help with the expense of raising the child, there for it goes to the person responsible for that. It does not go to the child.
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I’d agree with him 
it is his also
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When parents divorce, the absent parent (“paying parent”) is obliged by law to pay child maintenance to the parent caring for the child (“receiving parent”).
To the parent for support of the child. Not to the child.
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Be like sure! Oh by the way, I’ll need 17 years of unpaid rent money for putting a roof over your head, also groceries, plus laundry services, a taxi service, funding school activities etc.
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You don’t owe your son anything, if you did your part as an active mother and supported him till he was grown! Able to care for himself! That is why it’s called back child support and it is your reimbursement for supporting him on your own. If he wants child support now then he needs to enroll in school and contact the child support division and put child support his father till he is 25.
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That is reimbursement! No ma’am you owe that child nothing! The audacity!
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I would have told him to kiss half of my a** 
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You paid his way out of your pocket. It’s yours. If it was given to you when he needed it as a child, then it would’ve been his.
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Idk. I feel like the child support, whether it’s back child support or not, is to support the child. I personally would ask him if he needed anything, or get him stuff he needs. I wouldn’t just hand it over tho.
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This isn’t the first time I have seen this post? Is it a real post?
But no that’s your money not your bum sons
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That’s all yours Mom. You took care of him. U fed, clothed and put a roof over his head.
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Child support is to pay to raise him. You are just being paid back because you raised him all on your own. He was never entitled to that money. He was entitled to be supported, and he was - by you. You are entitled to repayment by his dad though since you had to support him on your own.
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Absolutely not!! My mom is finally getting her back child support owed her from raising 3 kids on her own….i am in my 40s and i would never ever think that $$ is mine! What a selfish child! 
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Also thank you ex for giving him that idea!
My ex did the same thing with my daughter! The only difference my ex decided to pay child support after like 2 years.
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No, that money has been spent for a long time.
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I would split it between my sons