Given he’s grown now, I’d give him it all. 
Present him with a bill instead but do subtract the child support off and see if he pays
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No. It’s not half his.
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Nope your money. Money you already spent.
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Entitlement!! The generation who doesn’t say thank you mom for working hard and raising me on your own. Instead their hand is always open and if you run out of money they are done with you. I say he gets nothing. You already gave him everything.
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I would have if he had not asked for it.
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Tell him Get A Job!!
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If I didn’t need it all those years and still didn’t, I would give it to my child.
He’s not entitled but I would give him some anyway. Just help him out.
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It’s yours you raised them
I lived on my own at 20 & my mom always tried to do the same. Some money would have been nice and greatly appreciated to help me get going since I moved out at 17, but I never expected it. With times being so difficult now I can understand how he needs it and may be thinking they’re already raised so you may not need it like he does. I don’t know y’all’s history but if y’all are somewhat close I definitely recommend sitting down to talk about why he feels that way and you feel opposite and discuss why and if he truly need the money or if it’s just wanted for frivolous wants. I definitely wish I’d had more help getting going in life, but at 33, paying for my own college and having 4 kids I never expected my mom or dad to pay for anything just bc neither could truly afford helping me to begin with.
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He dang well better be kidding!!
He can be reimbursed for the bills he paid
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Child support is financial support/obligation given to the person taking care of said child(ren)… it is not an child payment intended to be “given” to the child. Now had he approached you differently and said “hey mom I’m glad Dad is finally paying his share and you’re finally getting what you deserve and should of had when it came to raising me. Being that I’m older now and could use the money to ____________, do you think you could possibly let me borrow or have $XXX?” And even then that still would not mean he’s entitled to it but maybe then you’d be more open to giving him some rather him demanding half 
These kids have no idea the sacrifices, struggles, strains and stresses we parents especially mothers endure and how unbelievably hard it is to raise them financially, mentally, emotionally and physically 
they all seem to hit a point where they feel entitled and need some tough love, blunt reality talks.
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First of all your son shouldn’t even be involved in that… sounds like the dad was salty it got taken and is now telling the son to ask for it to get back at you. And secondly, no way… late or not that money is yours and you are entitled to that for your sons past living expenses that you paid on your own.
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Ask what it’s going to be used for is it good? Follow the money! No it’s yours though it would be nice to give back to kids some to help if they need it. But you paid the bills that whole time and raised and provided for them!
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Do not send it to him! How dare he demand half 
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I mean you could keep it and list off the itemized deductions for those five years on what you had to pay for him. (Food, clothes, rent…all that.) If it comes to you in your name it is yours. If it were meant for him it would have had his name and went to him. Especially since he is now grown.
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Boy stay in a child’s place.
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No you raised them it’s yours
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No that’s for the time you took care of him. How did he even find out? I would tell him it’s not for him and explain all that you paid with no help. Tell him that’s basically you getting reimbursed for all that you did. However if you would like to share it that’s up to you. If you got child support after the age 18 then I believe it goes to him.
I’m actually shocked your son has demanded that. If it was me I’d want my mum to have that money, understanding how hard it must have been for you to financially do it on your own and the sacrifices you would have had to make.
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For everyone saying “well send him a invoice of everything she paid for him” ummmm as a parent that’s your job and responsibility to put a roof over their head, power in the house, water, food, clothing, heat, so if a invoice of those things do not need to be on it. It was the parents choice to buy everything else. Game systems. Toys. Ect.
No girl keep YOUR money.
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If it’s back support it’s yours. If it’s child support, it goes to your son. If it’s child support and he’s only asking for half, that’s a pretty cool deal. That’s how it works with my boys. They are young adults also and I give them half even though it’s back support owed to me. 2 of my kids have jobs and one is still in school. My daughter’s dad has since paid for all of his child support.
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Actually he can take you to court and absolutely will be entitled to half…. Friend just went through it.
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that’s a joke right
Spend yawl 
They fail to realize that
Who providing until they decide or the state 
Absolutely NOT! That’s BACK child support. If you have any debts pay them with that. It is definitely NOT his money. That’s the money that you didn’t get to help with his clothes and food while he was growing up and anything else he needed. He sounds entitled and greedy
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No that is ur money u did it all by yourself for years that’s back pay his dad owes u don’t do it
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Working your ass of to support your children because you have to is way different than not “needing it” child support doesn’t cover a fraction of what goes into raising children alone. Hell no you don’t give him half of it.
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Don’t do it momma. Once your child is grown that money goes to you not the child!!!
No Ma’am you do not owe him a thing.
That was the money you “loaned” his father for raising his child, finally being paid back. 
Now, I’d probably share it with him but not with his entitled way of thinking.
That’s not helping him any.
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Absolutely not! That is the money you paid for rent, food, utilities, clothes, school supplies, school activities, child care, gas, transportation, etc. for 18 years.
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That’s money his dad owed you……… that’s not your son’s money. Your son needs some self reflecting. I mean if you don’t need all the money then I don’t see why not share some of it, but if you really need the money, then it’s a hard no.
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My dad paid back child support until I was 25!!! He was absent from our lives and spent all of his money on himself. He had said to me before to ask my mother for that money!! NEVER WOULD I EVER!!! She did all the things for me and THEN SOME! That’s my mothers money and THAT IS YOUR MONEY!!
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Keep it all for you!
In my eyes, this is dad finally reimbursing mom. However, I would give the son some $ to help him out.
No the money was to help raise him and without the money you did it all on your own until he was an adult and im guessing YOU went without things for yourself so your child had everything he needed.Your kid is being a brat and you owe him no money.
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It’s sad ur son would say that knowing u raised him all alone with no help
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It’s for back pay when you were supposed to get it to raise him, don’t do it keep it to pay yourself back
You carried his half of the kids. That money is to make up for what you’ve put in.
Tell him to come get it back in blood
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It’s being paid to you, so completely up to you what to do with the money.
That said, a similar situation happened after I turned 18, except it was my dad who raised me and recieved a larger back child support payment. He came to me, and told me he wanted my help deciding what to do with the money.
His standpoint, raising me, was always that he made the decision to be my father, and money from my mom or not he would always provide for my needs and most of my wishes.
I was just about to start college, so the decision we came to together was half would go to him, and the other half would go to me, with half of my portion going towards school, and my other half going towards my living expenses (I was no longer living at home).
This was a discussion between the two of us, and he’s the one who told me he recieved the money. My initial reaction when he told me about it was that he should get it all because he provided for me while I was being raised.
So it’s a decision you and your son should come to, together.
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Girl keep that money!
He needs to go get a job
What if that didn’t come
Well can he reimburse you for all the years you provided as a single mom
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Lol i mean….if child support is supposed to be for the child shouldn’t it go to him?
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It is NOT his…period
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He is very unappreciative of your struggles as a single mother. He is not entitled to any of it. I raised 2 kids alone and they. are generous to me. I feel sad for you that he had the audacity to even ask you. God bless you and don’t let the “Holier. than Thou” people make you feel guilty.
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1st of all he’s 20 years old, he shouldn’t be telling his mother what to do.
2nd No, don’t give him any money. He didn’t pay the bills or put food on the table for the family. So no, he’s not entitled to the money.
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I can’t even say anything against it my pos bd never paid anything for my son he’s 22 and got the child support stimulus and I gave him the CS card it’s his money I don’t need it for him now he’s grown
Is your son saying this because your ex owes him money as well and since the state intervened, he is telling him to come to you for payment now since he will not be receiving the refund he promised elsewhere?
Confused.
Child support is help to pay for bills, help buy food, help with their clothes etc, which means if his father is paying back child support you are the one who supported him by urself, gv him money, baught him clothes, kept a roof over his head etc. I wouldn’t be giving him half that’s forsure but I would help him out definitely. But you are the one that supportrd him all those years so thats money owed to you. I get child support and I use it for bills, their clothes, anything they need, etc. Getting child support doesn’t cover everything not even near. So I would keep it, offer him a portion of it, explain to him how child support works, maybe put some aside for college but guess it all depends on how much you got.
For all you people saying, " Half is his". I’m so confused. Parents don’t give half the child support to minor children. This is back support, from when he was a minor. What the hell… NOPE!
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Sounds to me like he has entitlement issues…I would not give him any money directly but I would pay a car note for him or insurance, A phone bill, utilities something buy him a bill or groceries and a tank of gas. Because that’s what that money was suppose to be for when he was a child. So yeah I would “give” but not cash I’d use it for it’s intent
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No my oldest is 31 years old and I recently started receiving money fo the past due amount . I spent money to raise her . She is not entitled to any of what I am getting now. But I find myself spending it on the grandkids
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That’s your back pay for raising that man’s child alone . If your son thinks you owe him any of it you need to just hand him an iou paid sticker and that off the million dollars it took to raise him alone .
“Sure, let me just deduct all of the things I paid for from it first, that the child support should have covered”
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Pretty nervie of child, why does he feel entitled? I would not give One cent. AND I wouldn’t feel bad, not even a lil bit. That child support, is just that. To pay for cost of living! Housing, food, clothes,and EVERYTHING involved with LIVING! Even back when child was a minor,that money was to be paid to YOU! Do something for yourself!
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Seriously? It’s yours, what a brat
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If he had ASKED I would. If he demanded… he can fuck off with that.
If it was his they would have sent it to him
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Your son is fucking trippin
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You need to fund your retirement. These days are uncertain.
If there an actual needs for your son, like a deposit on a apartment or a down payment on a car. You should consider helping him. You need to take a majority of that money and put it in a safe investment that will be your future nest egg.
No don’t send any of it. It’s yours you raised them
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Once we hit 18 my dad received money back as he payed my mum to much. Once he received it he gave my brother and I half
It is absolutely NOT anything he is entitled to. That is support owed to you for taking care of him while growing up.
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If the dad over paid you and you had to pay it back - is the kid paying half that ?
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Yes 1/2 would be good it was for him & would make him happy
I saved most of my kids SS
For them & there education
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What the hell would cause him to think that?
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No don’t give him any it is money you were owed while he was under age which if you had been given that money while he was growing up it would have been used already so if you wish you could give him some to help him if you wish but you are not obligated. Also think of it this way for everything you bought him over those 5yrs you would not have had to pay the full amount as you would have been getting the CS so think of this as tax return. 
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Half is noones what an entitled brat! That’s all your money if you even get any of it! If you’ve received any state support they want paid back and they will take it out of the support money I’d really get in touch with someone and check on this quickly!
If it’s that far behind then obviously not. It’s back pay for a reason and you don’t owe your adult child whom you’ve already raised lol. I’d say no, and even if you were under age 18 it would go to you in ways other than cash- via clothes, electric, and sports . Talk about entitlement.
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Something is wrong with this picture. No you don’t owe him anything. If you wanted,.sure why not give him something. For all the times you struggled to pay for them on your own. Nope. ( Invest it and let him have it later on)
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That is definitely meant for your child and 5 years ago he was still a child. I would absolutely give him half. Child support isn’t meant for the parents it’s meant for the child. My ex hasn’t paid his in 6 years, and when I do get it, it’s going straight in an account for my son. It’s not for me. So I would def split it between the kiddos.
I took care of you all by myself that money belongs to you sweetie
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If you want give him something fine but sounds like he don’t care enough to even say thank u for all those years you took care of me
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That’s your money. You raised them kids.
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My 12 year old has tried to say something like this when his dad tells his he’s paid child support that month (it’s not every month)
I tell him exactly what his $375 go to… it barely covers anything that is already willingly bought for you let alone a bit of the bills… 
My advice is no, it doesn’t go to him, its back pay for all the money you put in, during his first 18 years of life when having no help!
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Lol that’s not his it’s 
yours
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No. You don’t need to send 1/2 the money.
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Keep it . I’m raising my daughter alone , once in a blue moon he’ll give her money . I don’t bother him.
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That backpay for child support is yours for all the expenses you paid that the child support from ex should have been sent while raising your son. It’s yours not your son’s. He didn’t raise himself.
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It is for your C-H-I-L-D
Being that you’re being paid back for money you spent on him already, def not. It’s yours.
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Give whatever portion to your son and let him do what he wants with it. (Bills, school, etc) and if he gives it to his dad so be it, although it sucks that you didn’t get it when you needed it you made it work and the money is for him essentially. I rather save myself the headache in fighting with my son over money.
Gtfoh!!! Child support is for a child that you need help raising!!! Not for the Adult that you raised!!! Period!
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Those saying he didn’t pay bills growing up are ridiculous the boy didn’t get pick his parents both sound spiteful the back is for his needs etc. If it was my son I would put half towards college or bills.
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That is CHILD support… It is compensation for the money you already spent taking care of him as a CHILD.
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Umm No! That’s your money, you raised him on your money and that’s pay back for all the years he never put a cent in to help with his kid. These adult kids just kill me with thinking you owe them after you raised them. My sons thought because my dad passed away and left me money they deserved some of it. Not! I did buy them a few things but no I don’t think so. Lol
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Call and check with them to see if you have any obligation is to your son after paying for him out of your money. My ex owed me 57,000 in back child support I dropped it to be able to take her out of state to live . The understanding was from age 16-18 he would pay 50.00 a week which he never paid they did however tell me after she turned 18 she would have to pursue it herself if she wanted her support . Just cover your butt to make sure legally your in the right to keep it .
So you had to foot the bills…food…meds…etc all their life and now just a little compensation for all your work and your son wants to take that away……I don’t think so!!!
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The day my son comes at me like that!!! Tell him he owes you if anything. That was money to help support him growing up that you never received, therefore it is YOURS
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Child support is to support the child. That is why it’s called child support. He is entitled to some of that money because it was originally intended for him to help support him & no it is not your fault that the Father was not there for your son but he does deserve some of the money because his Father did not financially provide for him before he became ab adult so it is technically owed to him. Yes you paid all of the bills, fed him & clothed him but that is the responsibility of the parent when the child is under the age of 18. Yes you do deserve appreciation for being the Parent who stepped up to take care of your Son but that is what a Parent is supposed to do. I can’t stand Parent’s who hold all that over their child’s head & say things like “I paid for your food & cooked for you” "I paid the bills & you didn’t " “I am the reason you had lights & a roof over your head”… Well, that is your responsibility as a Parent, to provide for your Child/dren. You & the Father bring them into this World & are legally responsible for them until they become an Adult. It should never be rubbed in their faces that you did everything that you were supposed to do when that is your job. You don’t get any awards for being a good parent. The real reward is the child growing up to be a stable adult.
No you don’t. He wouldn’t have received the money as a child it was to pay for food and housing or schooling which you already paid for. I’d say no
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You already did give it to him…in the form of groceries and a roof over his head for the first (presuming 18 years of his life)
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When I finally started getting cs my kid was 10. Shes now 27. My fam brainwashed her and told her it was hers. I went thru it just cuz my mother was jealous that I actually started getting something when she never did for any of us from our dads. She never would’ve gave us any tho. CS is for the child’s care not for them to have. I used to get 750$ for 1 child. Don’t get anything from my first son’s father. He’s 13. My youngest dad takes care of all 3 of my kiddos is certain ways so I’m thankful for that. Tell em to have several seats.
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Not his money. It is yours. Reimbursement for all the years you paid it All yourself!.
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Do you and your son not get along? You don’t have to send him anything. The agreement was between you and your ex, it’s your money from raising him! My dad did start to send me child support personally when I was about 15 because I moved out of my moms, but that was a completely different situation.
It’s back pay for all of the time you didn’t receive any. If your son contributed to the household during that time then yes he should get some, if he didn’t make any monetary contribution then no.
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No don’t send! After 30 years I’m getting child support weekly lol but my kids know I raised them !! Don’t give the brat anything lol
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Give him what you want to give him—but it’s not his. You took care of him without the child support so that money goes to you.
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