No way , make him pay you what he owes you .
And your son , he needs to grow up and start paying some of his own bills before he turns out like his dad
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If you let it go, let your son’s expenses go, too. He’s an adult and in college. Daddy can pay for it since you’re such a bad person because you expect your ex to man up( sarcasm intended). Let your son learn first hand how daddy is. Your ex knew what baggage he had when he remarried. He’s a manipulator. I’ve never heard of a debt having to be erased because it’s a security risk. It really means it needs to be paid. Bankruptcy is also a flag for a security risk. Just saying.
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Well if your son thinks you are such a bad person and his father is Mr. wonderful tell your college age son he can move in with his father and have his father pay for his education. Otherwise he needs to stay out of it. You are owed money by this man and it is not your fault but his that he has this debt issue. You need to look out for what is best not just for you but for the younger kids. One day your son will see the kind of man he is and will realize he was manipulated. Otherwise no matter what you do it will never be good enough for the older child. He will also learn he can manipulate you in doing what he wants. It sucks, I get it but you have to do what is right for you and your family not what is best for your exes family.
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Nope, don’t let it go. You deserve a bit of security also… he is where he is because of you. Time for him to man up. He made his bed, not you.
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Hold your ex accountable, hopefully, your son will understand someday.
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I think Jr needs a rude awakening! Stop paying for his “extras” (not tuition) and tell him he needs a job or from now on daddy can pay for it.
Your ex paying what was rightfully yours woulda been the Christian thing to do. 
keep on fighting, stand your ground, your ADULT son will just have to get over it. Or… tell your ex that he can take on the responsibility of paying for everything for your adult son, and you’ll write off the rest. Or better yet, tell your son to put all that energy into supporting himself instead of relying on you. STAND. YOUR. GROUND.
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hold your ground you are not wrong for feeling this way at all. Your ex made the bad choices not you . He is the one that put himself in the position he is in not you . Why give him the easy way out when he has been hitting you everyway possible without child support or payment to buy you out . It is time the Ex takes resposiblities for his actions good or bad .That is on him not you. He ran the business out not you . You got out but he never held himself accountable to do what was needed to be done . like I said he PUT HIMSELF in this postion not you. Hope your son really see everything for what it is . If his dad was so great maybe dad needs to help with the sons needs just a thought sometime tough love is what it takes
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Stand your ground sis! If your son isn’t mature enough to understand your logic & reasoning behind your decision then he’s not mature enough to have imput on what was decided between you & his father! Suggest his new wife hold him down like you did early on so he can pay his debt to you!
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Firstly and probably most importantly: your son does love you. No matter his level of understanding and maturity, he’s just following dads role. He’ll get over that. He’ll one day understand the position his father has left you in because of his selfishness and that’ll be the day he wished he had known more. In all honesty, that day will be bittersweet for the both of you. It will be long awaited, well overdue and a major game changer for his relationship his father. You know the saying. You reap what you sow? Well your ex husband had no business involving a kid in the financial problems that he created. Don’t let his bad choices slide. Hold that man responsible for every single dollar he owes you. Stand your ground firmly and proudly. You deserve it.
And the next time his mother interjects with her unnecessary opinion about what’s “CHRISTIAN-LIKE”, perhaps you should remind her that had your ex-husband acted more CHRISTIAN-LIKE and taken care of his family like a real man, then this situation wouldn’t be an issue.
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Stand your ground you deserve the best of life don’t feel guilty over that . Your son will grow up and see things differently when life throws things his way he will come to terms with it or not but your ex will poison his thoughts until he can think for himself.
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Stand your ground, don’t be bullied by an EXhusband and a spoiled son!! Get a good lawyer and get what you are owed, you deserve it!!
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Stand your ground,
Make him pay why should he get away with it you owe him nothing
You are owed that money , either that or explain.you will have to cut him.off.finacially as you.need the money for your security, future and even studies , sounds.like your eldest has chosen so.far anyway and you won’t have lost him.per.say he just needs.time to mature and see your side, you owe him.nothing, you sacrificed alot and your due this.
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Don’t let it go… tell your oldest son things are a bit tight and you will have to cut down some of his expenses and he will have to ask his dad to help him out… let’s see if he can keep the cold shoulder up. You invested in that business and you need to get your times worth. Your other kids need that money as time comes. So let him man up and pay for it. Tell him for using your son as a get out card he better be ready to pay with interest. And all the things his mother is saying. U are not greedy it’s your money and dont let anyone tell u other wise.
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Money is just money. Only you can say what is most important to you. Other people don’t have to live with your conscience. Do what you feel is right and let it go.
I definitely would not give up that is worth fighting for he owes you something big time. About your son hopefully he will figure it out sooner that later and want to rekindle your relationship.
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Stand your ground. Tell your son that his father is obligated to pay his bills . See how he likes that. Your not a door mat.
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Stand your ground and get what is owed to you… why should your ex get off Scott free to live a stable financial lifestyle at your expense… HELL FKN NO… Your son will grow up and understand why you did what you did one day, when dad isn’t poisoning his thoughts and until then, it really has nothing to do with anyone other than you and the ex…
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Stand your ground and find yourself a good lawyer to help you deal with this, hopefully your son will wake up to the trith one day
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Stand your ground! Your son will come around…
Your ex is an adult…time he started acting like one🤬
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Get. Your. Money. Sis.
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Stand your ground!! You have done everything possible to try and be fair, your son will come round, It’s your ex who is completely I’m the wrong and your son will soon see this
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Stand your ground. Your son is being manipulated and one day he will understand. You will regret it if you don’t make his dad pay what he owes you.
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Don’t give up one way are the other things will work out. As for your son he’s going to have to get over it. I know you love him but he’s got to understand what you did for his dad put you in the bind you was in . Someone has got to talk to him about this are he will never know. I went though the same thing I know. Now all 3 of my children know what I went through. Thanks it aSS workers.
Stand your ground. And since the son is being ungrateful to you, take his shit away. He can ask his dad for it back since daddy does no wrong apparently 
I was that kid once upon a time ago. No matter how much money my pops stole, it was never his fault and we should “let it go”. So glad I grew out of that and saw what he was doing to my mother and grandmother!
Once your son actually lives his own life and sees how the world really works, I’m sure he will have a different perspective. Until then, yes keep collecting. Don’t let it go. Just because he fucked up jis own life more than once doesn’t mean the poor baby gets a pass. That’s not how debt works and if anyone wants to try and get mad at you for the agreement that you and him had rather than him for being irresponsible and making bad choices, then fuck those enablers. They are part the reason your ex is where he is today. They keep and always will continue to excuse him.
Stand ur ground on this one and don’t let it go get what ur owed. As for ur son yes he’s being manipulated here but he’s an adult id start making him pay his own way in life I wouldn’t be paying gas money, food, phone bills, rent I wouldn’t mind paying for college but not everything else he can get a job part time
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Stand your ground your son will see sence don’t let the ex off xx
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Sounds like a narcissist. Your son is an adult and can handle the truth! Tell him the truth from your perspective like you just did. It’s clear the ex has already used your child as a pawn to do exactly this, doubt yourself with guilt and let him off. He knew what he was doing when he spent all of that and got into debt! He sure as hell didn’t care about HIS family then! The mess he made is his to lay in, not yours. You already gave him a break with all that you put in for the business and family. He OWES what HE OWES and is obligated to PAY YOU BACK.
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I would stand my ground. I would send ex mother in law Psalms 37:21. IF I were living comfortably though, for the sake of my son, I may would consider working it out with the father in another way. Perhaps, maybe settling for half of the lump sum, if paid at once? Then he pays for all 3 kids college expenses in full? I mean… had he paid you your part, he should still be responsible for half of all college debt, ect. He indeed knew what he owed you when he chose to gain that many more children. He is EQUALLY as responsible for the ones he already had. Period. He doesn’t take from just YOU, it’s taking from his children. So, no. Stand your grounds. Like I said, consider a settlement… for the sake of your child. And do NOT hold a grudge against your son bc HE was poisoned by someone else. Do NOT decide what you do or don’t do for him… based on what or how his father is, bc that… he may never forget or understand and it’s also not teaching him much about NOT becoming the monster they painted you to be. Or becoming just like the one wronging you.The debt his dad owes you… maybe it’s time for you to have a talk with him on what happened. Your side. And how it absolutely takes from him and his siblings. Ask him how he’d feel being in the exact situation from YOUR point of view. You can tell him bluntly without being awful. Also, please stress to him that you wish he wasn’t involved in this in ANY way, bc he shouldn’t be, but since he seems to not understand and has so much resentment built towards you… and he is adult age and more mature… it’s time. Also, your husbands income OR his wife’s is IRRELEVANT to what he owes you. Your husbands money is zero of your ex’s business & has zero to do with what he owes you. Also, none of their situation is yours or y’all’s children’s problem.
Stand your ground period.
If your son continues to treat you and your hubby that way.
It about time he becomes an adult and pay for is own stuff including college.
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Stop letting them including your son run all over you. That’s what they are doing! Stand your ground and speak up for yourself. The Christian thing would be for MIL to mind her business and help her own son out. NO you should NOT forget this debt your crazy as hell if you do and stop setting your son up for failure to live off of women like your ex husband cause that’s exactly what your doing by paying his way for everything. He is gonna be a spoiled selfish brat like his father and by the looks of it he’s already manipulated your sons way of thinking too. You better stop this full fledged train wreck cause you are gonna be left with nothing if you don’t stop them from walking all over you. You are worthy and deserve what your owed and do not let anyone tell you any different.
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Stand your ground. Maybe if he wants to act like a spoilt brat and have you support. Time to stop the support and since your ex husband is slandering you so much. Let him support your son, if he doesn’t agree with you cutting your son off financially. Your not doing yourself any favours by being their doormat and enabling your son to live off you. He’ll come round in time. Set some boundaries on what your willing to settle for and how you’ll accept being treated. He would not have had the life and successful business he had if you didn’t support help him to get there. How easily they forget what is done for them. Don’t give in.
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Stand ur ground .one day ur son will come around .if u r paying all ur son bills too u need to let that be known too give him some responsibility to let him be a man if he is in grown folks business then he acting grown so he can pay his own way and tell his dad to pay them .by the look of thing u been paying for both of them .if he wants to only see his dad side let his dad pay for this things .don’t give a hand out give a hand up.stop letting them walk al over u .
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Stop paying your sons bills and let him go to his dad for the money and see how long he sides with his father. My parents divorced when I was young and they both started new families. Dad seldom made support payments despite court orders. Eventually when I was 14 he petitioned the court to have me declared emancipated. I was still in school and worked evenings and weekends but they saw fit to decide I was capable of supporting myself on a minimum wage job checking in product and stocking shelves at the 5& 10. He won and was no longer responsible for support. I held that against him for years. His new family always took precedence over me.
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I would stand your ground. Not your fault he made himself lose everything shouldn’t have been going spending crazy
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AND if he makes such good money he needs to pay his debt and maybe his son will learn a little too. It’s 3 sides to a story but your son loves you, nobody will ever take the place of Mom he’s just brainwashed and maybe he needs to be cut off so he can wake up and mature himself. He should be working and paying for his own gas, food, and phone bill? How old is your son? Your not doing him any favors by paying his way as you haven’t done his dad by helping him before so DONT do it again. Since he’s got such a good degree and makes such good money then he should pay his debt and be filing bankruptcy to get out of his mistakes.
Tell your son that you might be able to forgive his dad’s debt to you if he ( son) starts acting like a grown a#s man and pays for his own sh*t. Why the hell are you paying for him? And he treats you like that!
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Personally I’d let it go as it looks like you will never get satisfaction. It sucks but isn’t worth the stress or problems with your son. In time he will see things differently
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Emotıonal blackmaıl !!! Your son needs to grow up Your ex owes you thıs money the payıng back of the full amount I cant see happenıng maybe tell hım you wıll compromıse and accept half as for your son ıgnore hım he wıll come round
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Stand your ground. This issue has NOTHING to do with your son. It is between you and your ex. If your son wants to get in the middle of it and start causing problems then maybe it’s time he start paying his own ALL expenses like the adult he is. Maybe then, he will realize that actions have consequences and in the real world, when you treat people like shit, they stop doing kind things for you. Not everything is his business, and you’re coddling him because you feel guilty for filing for divorce. Listen, Dad made the choice to blow the money he didn’t have and rack up that debt. Dad is the one who ran the business into the ground, and lost it all. That is a direct consequence of his own actions and decisions. The fact that he no longer has it anymore is his own damn fault. You shouldn’t have to give up your divorce settlement because he’s an idiot. Bankruptcy isn’t an easy button for life. It isn’t going to forgive a divorce settlement. All it does is give them a plan and time to pay off their debts. That’s what bankruptcy was designed to do. You had nothing to do with any of that. That was all him. Dad needs to stand up to the consequences of his own actions. He put his family and business at risk. This is what happens when you do that. If your son can’t understand that, cut him off, because he’s being just as toxic as your ex was being in your marriage. You didn’t put up with it from him, why would you allow your child to do it as well? Don’t allow him to treat you this way because he can’t see that his dad is trying to manipulate him and weaponize your own child against you in an effort to get you to forgive his debt. That’s so f*cked up! You put blood, sweat, and tears into the same business. You sacrificed so your husband could get his degree. When your son gets older, gets married, and has children of his own, maybe he will see your contribution in that relationship differently, but right now he doesn’t. If dad is the hero here, let him pay your son’s expense. Oh Wait, that’s right. He can’t. But whose fault is that? I think you need to sit your son down and lay it out for him, and tell him if he continues to treat you disrespectfully, this gravy train he’s on stops here. He can find himself a job and pay his own way through the rest of college. His dad lost his business and livelihood due to frivolous spending and mismanaging his money. That’s not your fault either. It’s not your job to make his father’s life easier because he made poor choices. You’re not married to him anymore. You don’t owe him anything.
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Dig ya heels in girl. Teach your kids valuable lessons. When you have a debt - you pay it.
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Stand your ground. Your son will come around to realize the REAL STORY…Your X needs to PAY HIS DEBT!! GOOD LUCK!!
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Stand your ground. Things will work out. 
Stand your ground, your son is acting like a ass so is your x-mil and x husband. Don’t give in to them!!!
Stand your ground. One day even your son is older he will upstanding. In the mean time, if he wants to be a term about it, remind him he’s living on your dime. A phone, even tho it may seem like it, is NOT a necessity. I’m sure you’ve helped him get or got him the vehicle he’s driving. If he’s old enough to be in college, he’s old enough to provide his own phone and gas money. Maybe he needs a lesson in providing for himself on a small level, like phone and gas money so he doesn’t end up like his dad. Yes, he’ll be extremely mad at you now, but he will thank you for it later in life.
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Do not bow down, do not write it off, be smart
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Stop paying for your son life let him stand on his own feet you are to soft.keep after your ex hubby don’t listen to anybody. Stand your ground.Be strong.Good luck
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Keep insisting on a compromise from your ex in the way of payment plans or a settlement agreement on a portion of the debt so you can close this chapter and move on. I think it’s painful for the family because it doesn’t end and is an ongoing issue. The only way for everyone to move on us to get it behind you, resolve it now.
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I agree with all comments made stating keep fighting for it
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Your ex is using your son to get to you so that you cave. Manipulation at its best. Do what you need to do and remind your son that you are the one supporting him.
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Don’t write it off, your son needs to understand it’s really none if his business. If it’s not this situation he would probably find something else to not talk to you over. His father had obligations before he decided to have a new family. If your son wants to be involved I would tell him to have his father pay his bills and stop giving into him too.
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Tell your son to let his dad pay for everything then. Do not let him or your ex run over you.
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Sit your son down and explain it to him. If he decides then he doesn’t need you in his life then let him go. He may come around later or he may not, but at least he understands exactly who is supporting him right now, you and step-dad.
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You are paying your child’s bills when they get mad they stop talking to you? I feel like your child might need a hard lesson on life he’s lucky to even have everything paid for him and just choose not to talk to you when he feels like it he wouldn’t be getting help from me he takes his dad’s side his dad should be paying for him he can deal with his mood swings as you said his mind has been made up and even writing off this debt might not even fix your relationship with your son seems like you are trying to keep him on your good side so you are babying him you are allowing that behavior to happen and supporting the child even when he treats you terrible as for the money owed I would see if the ex would do a deal of maybe half I wouldn’t write it all off and if he doesn’t like it leave it the way it is he’s a grown adult that should have been paying on his debts 
these are just my opinions**
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Stand your ground Girl it’s your money and you want it back
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If your ex won’t stick to a payment plan then it needs yo be enforced by law. He loses his job its on him- not you. Your ex Mother in law should mind her own business too. Your son has finished college so he can fund his own life. You are being used here- stand up for yourself
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Definitely do not erase that debt he owes you he wouldn’t even have a degree if it wasn’t for your family and yeah like other people have said stop paying for your son
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I hope you stand your ground. Your son sounds spoiled. Forgive me for saying. If he matures as an adult he will see you did what you had to do.
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I wouldn’t write it off and honestly I wouldn’t be paying for my kids stuff if he wasn’t going to be respectful to me.
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Remove the emotion. Your ex was obligated to give you half. U worked for it-it’s not a hand out-it’s yours. If your son will not sit with you send him a factual letter-no emotion.
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First off, DO NOT FORGIVE WHAT YOUR EX OWES YOU!! He got all the benefit while you sacrificed everything. He owes it and he needs to pay it, period!! If he loses his job over it? Oh Well… He should have thought about that before acting a fool and living the life of Reilly while you were raising your children and doing the right thing. Tune out all the enablers who are telling you to forgive the debt. As for your son, all of this is none of his business and it is ok for you to advise him of that. If he wants to pass judgement let him pass judgement. If he chooses not to talk to you? So be it!! I think I read that you pay for everything for him. Stop It !!.. It is simple, if he wants to be shit, then cut him off… He is a big boy with a big boy attitude let him work his way through college and pay for his luxuries on his own. It sounds to me he is a spitting image of his dad and by you paying for everything and allowing him to disrespect you is fueling his behavior. Girl, it is ok to be a bitch and stand up for yourself and demand respect and the things that are owed to you. You did not create the scenario with your ex, he did this on his own…He made the bed let him lay in it. Stick to your guns and get what is yours. Tell everyone Eff Off including your kid. Trust me, as soon as you stop being a door mat for these people, they will change… This is a good time to teach your son a life lesson on how to treat people and how to mind his own business when it comes to affairs that have nothing to do with him… You will feel so empowered if you take my advice. It will change your life for the better…
Just because he has a new family doesn’t mean he doesn’t have old responsibilities. Not to mention he is using your son to attempt to manipulate you. Stand firm. Don’t back down. Your son will eventually see the truth.
And the comment about “it being the Christian thing to do” is kind of one sided. While there are scriptures to back forgiving debt there are scriptures about paying your debts.
This is a very tough situation all around and I’m sorry you’re going through all of this. 
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Make your ex pay you what he owes. As for your son, I would continue to pay only for tuition and phone (since is probably on the family plan) make him get a job and learn the value of a dollar.
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Girl Get Your Money. Your son needs to know if you don’t get that money his privilege will be gone
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Don’t erase it, it’s definitely a hard situation and your son shouldn’t know the details. But you have us plenty for your ex, he needs to take responsibility
In all honesty though, I understand your son is in college but if he wants to cold shoulder you then maybe his cash should stop flowing, his dad can pick up paying where you leave off if he wants to take his dads side so much
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He’d do it to you if the shoe was on the other foot!
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Stand your ground it’s your money. No way in hell would I pay all my child’s bills to let him treat me that way tell him tonget it from his dad. College or not he can get a job and work for his own bills
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Do NOT back down!! Your son is still young and learning, experiencing life. He doesn’t and won’t understand now. When he gets older he might. You still have 2 of your own children to out through college (if that’s their path) that money that is owed to you, can not only help them, but still help your son in the future. Everything may be financially alright for you right now, but things in life happen. If you forego the money, and hit hard times or your children do, how will you feel then!? Don’t let your son’s immature judgement hurt you. Huge Hugs
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Honestly if you son thinks he’s “old and mature” enough to side with dad…maybe it’s time you tell him your side of the story??
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Follow thru. Son is a child. He will understand when he grows up
Stand your ground. You work hard to help him build a successful business; his bad decisions are not your problem, him starting a new family while being in debt is not your problem nor is it your responsibility to help him out debt. Your son may never understand why you don’t want to let his dad off the hook, and that is okay also. It’s funny how no one had a conversation with your ex about taking care of his financial obligation to pay you your money
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No no no no no. That was YOUR business too. Your son sounds like he has daddies character. Your son needs to learn his lane. I’d be dammed if my husband of even 10 years tried not paying me for my part of business.
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Stand your ground. You are obligated to that money. Take him back to court.
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Don’t let the debt go.
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Stand. Your. Ground.
Your son will get over it when his dad screws him over one day.
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I’d stand my ground. Your son will learn when he gets older.
Let your son know that if you don’t get your money from his father, you can’t pay all his bills because you have your own to pay. Let him know you will continue to pay XXXX & XXXX bills but he will need to pay the rest. But regardless, your ex owes you that money. Make him pay it to you.
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Get your money. Stop paying for everything for your grown son. Let him have his dad help him. Show him the truth. Don’t let ur child run your life and make u feel guilty.
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Stand your ground. You’re grown son is just that, grown. Hopefully someday he understands exactly where you are coming from. He sounds spoiled and entitled. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.
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Stand your ground. Your son is not old enough to understand the importance of life yet. That is money that is rightfully yours! Walking away allows your ex to walk over you one more time. Stand up and fight, that money is intended for you and your children. If he loses his job again, then what? If he divorces again, then what? Plan ahead.
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I would get my money 
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Stand your ground. And NEVER back down!!!
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Sue hom for YOUR money
I agree to stand your ground!!! If he has such a problem with you, tell him to have his dad pay the bills that you are paying.
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Actions have consequences, and his actions is causing issues with his job not you. He made the agreement to pay and he should be required to pay it. As for your son, just keep reminding him that you love him. This is between you and his father.
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Don’t let him full you if your son don’t talk to you is ok one day he will realized that his dad was the problem go get your money and don’t back away
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Your ex, your son and your ex mother in law are narcissists. Do not let it go. Stand your ground and tell your son his dad can support him if he wants to give that cold shoulder.
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No, someone in his life HAS to hold him accountable for his own responsibility/actions. His parents never did it, and some lessons in life are learned the hard way. It’s horrible that your son is being influenced like that, but waybe since he’s grown. Sit him down and talk to him like an adult about the situation.
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Hell to the no!! Court ordered means it’s the law! Take that sob to court, he’ll screw the kid over eventually and he’ll see for himself. Damn why are women so eager to give guys a pass, he owed the debt, made his choices to not pay it, I would make him pay EVERY DAMN CENT back with interest. The second wife knew what she was signing up for, All you will be teaching your son is it is ok to screw over women and he’ll treat his future partners the same way. My sister took her ex to court just a few years ago, he was suppose to transfer some retirement funds to her and he never did, the court found in her favor and her kids got over it.
Do you love your son more than you want that money? When my 2nd husband and I divorced his grandfather changed his will and left his property, worth about 3 million, to both of us jointly listed my ex and i by name. So we were to split the money if we sold the house or 1 buy the other out. Well his grandfather passed about 5 years ago, 15 years after our divorced. Yes I really could have used my half of the money, but walking away from it was better than our son being put in the middle or my ex becoming homeless over it.I have taken my ex in numerus times after the divorce simply because he spends every penny and forgets bills. For me knowing I gave him every chance of having a stable place to live and knowing my son will never have to heard “I’m losing my place thanks to your Mom” was worth every single penny.
Stand your ground and stop paying for your adult son. Tell him if he can’t even speak to you over your business with his father, you don’t need to provide for him. Your son is an adult. Let him pay his own way and get your money you are owed from your ex.
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Sue him for your money. Don’t back down
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Don’t back down and stop paying your grown sons bills let his father pay them since he thinks his dad is so great teach him a lesson about being a adult tell him to get a job and tell him your not paying his bills sounds like he is like his father
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Your ex should have taken care of the debt to you before starting a new family. It is on him i wouldnt forgive anything. Anyone trying to tell you anything needs to mind their own business including your son.
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Take him to court and get a judgment. Then garnish his pay. His behavior is not your problem. Cut the ex mom in law off. The Christian thing to do is take care of financial obligations.
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Once your grown son can support himself, then he may be able to talk finance but until then he has nothing to say.
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