You’ll probably still be the bad guy to your kid no matter what you do. However is it even worth it? Do you want to deal with the drama? Sometimes peace is better than money.
Don’t be walked on and your so will see the light!
Wasn’t aware you could rid child support with bankruptcy- you can’t school loans, court ordered payments etc - in Ohio
I would not back down. Your son will see the truth. I’m surprised he hasn’t already. He owes you. You maybe could have kept the business going but he blew it. You could still be living off of it but you didn’t have that opportunity. He owes you. He doesn’t get a free pass on that.
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son has to grow up, ex should pay.
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I agree with everyone…1st your grown son needs to stay out of it… it’s not fair for you to take a loss b/c his dad couldn’t get his act together…I also agree that if he thinks his dad is so great, stop paying his bills & let daddy do it 
sounds like the son is learning from his dad how to get out of responsibility & how to get a free pass & on top of that he’s setting an example of how to treat a woman… that they’re to be walked on… let them both know that’s not ok
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Don’t back down…Your ex has to pay that…He (your son) is old enough that he should understand that he isn’t the only child that needs to be taken care of…He is also old enough to pay his own way if he wants to act like his dad should get off Scott free from his responsibility’s.
Stand your ground! You built with him and in a final “screw you” he ran everything y’all built into the ground. Of course his he and his mother are going to blame you. He needs someone else to blame and that’s her baby boy… nothing will be his fault. You sacrificed so he could succeed.
As far as your adult son… you are 
cut off! It’s one thing to support your child, it’s another to do everything for them while they ignore you. He’s basically slapping you in the face. His father is the one who’s in the wrong, but he’s taking it out on you. He needs to learn what responsibilities are and that you can’t just do whatever you want.
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You answered your own question when you said that the ex. poisoned his mind years ago.If You owe money to people you should pay it. Peace is more important than money, however regardless of the new life you two made for both of you,he should not be able to walk away from his obligations.There likely were no such stipulations said in the order from the courts.
Stand your ground, you already took several losses
I would definitely show up at that creditor hearing for his discharge, and argue the debt remain.
Your son needs a ‘life reality’ check!!! Stand your ground you put in just as much of your life as your ex did and if you give in you’re showing your son to go out and not be responsible either!! Even if he’s mad now he needs to see life is choices and consequences!!! No free rides! Wait til his dad does sometime shady to him … he won’t know how to handle it!!!
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Don’t cancel the Debt your Ex husband owes you, Even if you do it’s not going to change your sons mind, and it’s time to sit down with your son and tell him you you and your current husband will no longer be paying for everything for him, ( maybe pay rent and tuition) he needs to get a job and pay some of his own bills, ( why doesn’t it surprise me your paying everything for him and he sides with his dad) kids can be so ungrateful.
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I wouldn’t back down , your son will be one day who did it all … not to shove it in your ex face but your son will see you did it all be may not be able to grasp that her. He owes you , is he old enough to ask him if I owed dad money wouldn’t you want him to pay it back? It’s not like he doesn’t have another family that I’m sure he’s supporting
I would let it go. Be the bigger person. Not for your son or your husband, but for yourself.
Get your money. Son will learn, time will enlighten the whole situation.
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Tell your ex that he can pay for your oldest son’s living expenses and college. Put the money you would have spent on your son into investments to build up a nest egg.
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Stand your ground! Your son will understand one day.
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I do hope you are not saying anything bad about his father to your son, If you are, STOP, If your son says anything to you about what his dad is saying to him, just explain this is between his dad & you, & let it go, AS for getting the rest of your money it doesn’t seem like you are, I would think if he got any tax returns, you should be getting that, but if not, all well, Let that go, Karma is a bitch, is all I can say 
Yes, take what is owed or shortchange the other children
First off- Your son loves you, no matter what. He should have never been involved in adult situations, that’s the real issue. But now he’s grown and needs to understand that your problems with his dad are none of his business. Have you considered therapy for you and your son? Maybe you could start there with a neutral person who can help him understand. Regardless if you let go of the debt or not, it’s not going to change his mind, the issue is much bigger than that.
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First off, stand your ground hun. You deserve EVERY PENNY HE OWES YOU!!! Second off, your son is grown, he will either come around or eventually he will realize that he’s losing/lost his mother and that’s on him. Sometimes it’s best to love people from afar, even if it hurts like hell.
Stand your ground! Your ex is taken enough from you and your son is old enough to get over it. Don’t let him get away with screwing you over again. You will need that money in the long run trust me!
Don’t let it go. You are owed that and if you need to you need to have a talk with your son and ask what he would do if someone took what he was owed and earned and threw it away.
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Stand your ground! Trust me if it was the other way around his mom and him would proceed with it.
I am sorry to hear about your son but one day he will realize what has happened and will regret making you fell that way.
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Your “grown” son needs to grow up & stay out of your business. It doesn’t matter if he chose to marry someone with 3 kids & have another. He still has an obligation to his kids with you! Stop paying for your grown son & maybe he will learn what it’s like to have to work for what he has! Maybe one day he will realize his dad was in the wrong for involving him in y’all’s adult situation.
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You deserve what is owed to you .
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Stand your ground. You deserve what is owed you.
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Stand your ground. And if your son wants to continue to be that disrespectful towards you and completely ice your out for the sake of his dad let his dad take over paying for all of his stuff.
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Sounds a little to me like your son is involved too much in his parents’ divorce. Wording like “holding it over (dad’s) head” and knowing intimate details of you and your ex husband’s business says to me that some parties involved have been venting to him. He’s got an opinion on something that shouldn’t involve him - regardless of his age, he’s still both of your child and shouldn’t be stressing over a divorce that doesn’t include him.
Take your ex back to court, or whatever channels you need to, and handle your business.
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Stand your ground!!!. It’s not ok that even involved your son into your problems with his dad. You son might get upset with you but he loves you. I bet you’re really hurting and struggling with making up your mind. But I would stand my ground!!! He’s using your son and his mom to try to manipulate you into canceling the debt. Stay strong mama!!
Keep at it i say your son will come around
Go to court and get interest lol abcdeFU to your ex lol
I’m sorry but you don’t get a pass because you gambled and blew $! He STILL owes you half the business and CS. I don’t “need” CS either but it is court ordered and my ex husband is expected to pay it. He never has, he’s over $15000 behind. But I won’t ever say sorry you don’t owe that! It’s called being a responsible adult.
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Let it go. He might be an adult but he is still the child. Stop paying for his stuff too!
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Personally, if the oldest son treats you that way you should stop paying everything for him. He’s an adult, so let him figure it out. I’d only pay for college and that’s it. Let him pay his own rent and everything else. You may be his mom but you’re not obligated to pay everything for him. As for the ex, I wouldn’t let the debt go at all.
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I would just left it go… if the amount is that substantial…you will probably never see it anyway…( how is he going to pay you back if he loses his job?) Then any business he creates from this point would be solely in his wifes name so he wouldn’t have to pay you. Trust me, I know. So for the sake of the relationship with your son and you said you live comfortably, I would just let it go.
No you deserve what is owed to you. Your son should not take sides without all the facts. No you are owed you collect. If your son doesn’t want to talk to you or deal with you. Tell him dont bite the hand that feeds you. Literally
Stand your ground. He helped make those kids they are just as much his responsibility as yours. He needs to pay child support. Take him to court to start the process of making him pay. If he doesn’t he can have his license suspended and even spend time in jail if he doesn’t pay. Your sons attitude will not change no matter what you do but you have other kids to think of
I don’t think what he did was okay, but time is short and having your son be upset with you is going to eat at you more than money will. You can’t take it with you. Honestly, try to get what you can but it’s not more important than a good relationship with your oldest.
Stand your ground you’ve earned the position you’ve in, your ex-husband has earned the position he’s in. Your ex will use your son against you as long as he can.
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Absolutely not! If your ex has managed to alienate your son this far already, it won’t make any difference if you dropped it or not any way! He will just make up another reason or excuse that it’s somehow your fault still/again. These kind of people just don’t like to take responsibility for their own actions. You would just end up hurt worse, bc of the hope you’d have in mending your relationship with your son, only to be blindsided from another angle by your ex. Make sure that your son know that you love him & personally, I’d remind him that he doesn’t know both sides nor the factual details & he should have never been told/drug into, either side, to begin with. Accountability needs to be taken on both sides & your sorry that his father has projected his Accountability onto you.
If you give in, I promise you, you’d only be showing your son that it’s ok to not be responsible for his own actions!
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You ex is trying to alienate your child from you by bringing this up. So he’s doing the wrong thing on two counts.
Get your money.
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I wouldn’t let it go. There’s a reason you divorced. You don’t have to feel pity for him. You invested a lot of yourself into all of that and because he still can’t be responsible he wants a free out again? No thanks. If your adult son is really that mad then so be it. It’s not his place. And if it were me I wouldn’t be taking care of everything for him either. It’s unfair that you’ve had to spend so much of your time sacrificing for others to be met with nothing but ungratefulness.
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Get what is owed to you. Not your fault your ex was irresponsible. If your son chooses to side with his dad and keep disrespecting you, allow his dad to start footing the bill for him. He will soon learn the truth
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Hold your ex accountable. Shame hes involving the children. A real piece of work. What a jerk. You earned that money and it’s yours.
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Stand your ground and stop paying for everything for your son. He’s in college he can get a job and pay for his own gas,etc.
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Do not let it go. You deserve it you worked for it. Too many Exs get away with not paying cause someone feels sorry for them. He made 3 babies with you not just your eldest. He needs to help with all their needs too.
He’s the selfish one. Someday your oldest will figure it out. Maybe you need to only pay half of his schooling and tell him to get the rest from his dad or work for it himself.
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Stand your ground. It’s the principle of the matter, you might or might not need the money, but he was ordered to pay it, and it sounds like he has the means to pay it off. As for him poisoning your son against you, that’s wrong. No matter what happened between the both of you, a good parent wouldn’t talk s*** about the other parent. At least not in front of the kid lol
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Your ex did this to himself. Why should he get a pass? If it was the other way around, would he make it easy on you? Your son will always be your son no matter what. He will understand one day. The truth always reveal. Until then, stop paying for your son’s stuffs and let him handle it himself.
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You need to stand your ground! I don’t think it will change your son’s mind if you do let it go anyways. Also, you need to quit paying for everything for your son. It sounds like he isn’t thankful for it anyways
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sometimes children can end up being real d!ckheads, im sure your son will grow up eventually and take your ex to court! he cannot get away with that! your MIL sounds like a real treat to, tell her if she was a real christian she wouldve raised her son not to be such an awful person!
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STAND YOUR GROUND
Get what’s yours!!!
Don’t let him or his mom dictate your moves!!!
Fair is fair!! You paid your debt make him pay his!!!
SHAME ON HIM FOR INVOLVING YOUR SON!!!
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Stand your ground. Your son will eventually realize that it’s just manipulation on his father’s part.
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Don’t let it go, make him pay his part and your son has no say, make him get a job too
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Stand your ground. Go to court.
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Isn’t parent alienation illegal?
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I stopped reading at the Christian thing to do… bc the Christian thing to do is not manipulate you and gaslight you into thinking that you don’t need it or aren’t owed it. Do not let it go. Just because you’re more responsible than he seemed to be doesn’t mean you don’t deserve what is owed to you.
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You’ve raised a child to be just like him. And that is unfortunate. The relationship with your oldest will never be the same, or maybe even good at this point, even if the debt is forgiving by you, the relationship has been damaged by your ex, which I would probably consider telling the court when you tell them you’re NOT forgiving the debt.
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I would stand your ground, your son has already made his mind up about things. He’ll see the truth when he’s ready or when he sees his dad for what he really is, you’re still fighting for your other two kids.
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Which will bring you peace of mind?
Jfc. Is it that important to you, that you lose your child over it? Maybe children can see what the right thing to do is, even if they don’t “know the whole story”
You literally said yourself, you and your now husband are well to do. Your ex, could potentially lose his job and his assets if he gives you whatever you’re wanting. He has other kids too. This is your ex, he’s in the past for a reason. I get it, you gave your life to helping the business and your children but that’s on you. You could have gone to college, got a degree, etc. I think it’s bogus that you’re going after something that’s been long gone.
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Absolutely not, it between you and your ex and you can’t allow your adult child to guilt you into making a decision. Did he give your ex the cold shoulder when he wasn’t paying you
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Stand your ground regardless of his current situation/family that money is your right for your family that you have took care of.
Your eldest son I would tell him get a job and see how hard it is pay for his tuition or ask his dad in exchange to write the debt off he can rely on his dad keep him in college/uni he will soon see his life rapidly change.
Your ex is not your responsibility his money issues and job issues are not your responsibility as for his mother tell her she can always clear his debt if she is so worried your husband has been there for you and your children from a previous relationship but just because of that you should not write off what your owed.
Tell them get a backbone and get it paid and anybody who tries to call you greedy or make you out to be the bad one cut them off your son included! He sounds like he hasn’t had pay for a thing so has no clue how much you and your new husband have done for him
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Stand up to him and your son and persevere on collecting the money he owes you. It’s a great lesson for your son too! Time for them both to be responsible adults. And QUIT PAYING FOR EVERYTHING FOR YOUR SON! YOU ARE CREATING A DEPENDANT ADULT! HE needs to grow up too!
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Don’t give him a pass - you made the sacrifices that he couldn’t/wouldn’t make. He blew everything and is we’re he is. Stand your ground - your son someday May understand- and may not. When he has a family he will see what it takes to raise kids. 
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Stand your ground and stop paying for everything for your son. Let him go to his dad and see how it feels.
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I would suggest you talk to both of them together and explain exactly what you feel and want. Your son is a man you really need to stop paying for him as well understand that he needs to take care of himself because he will never learn if he’s given everything . Good luck
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Hold your ground. Your son will see the light eventually. Forgiving the ex won’t help the relationship with your son. Your ex has made sure of that. No one is going to take care of you except you.
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Do not let it go. When your son is older he will see
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Get what you are owed! Stop paying the sons way through life, let his dad do that and then walk away and live your own life!
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It seems like holding on for this money that is probably never going to come is cause a lot of chaos in your life. Is the hope of receiving that money worth the uproar? Is it worth further damage to the relationship with your child. Personally, I would let it go.
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Do not I repeat DO NOT forgive the debt. You ex can go screw himself and if he is a Christian he will make sure your son makes amends with you. He has some nerve!!!
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You stand your ground!!!
Don’t let them make you feel or think your the one in the wrong because you are very far from it girl. Own your self now, don’t give in.
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Grl, stand your ground. You put a lot of work into that marage, raising your children and the business. And I would make it very clear to the son. That he is an adult now and he needs to start helping himself threw college. Not cut him off completely, but make sure he knows the value of his life. You have 2 younger children that need you more right now and worrying over the one in college is taking from the 2 younger children. Courts ordered it have the courts enforce the order. Once the oldest finds out how much it takes to take care of himself maybe and hopefully he will see what you were doing for him and think twice about how he has been treating you when you no longer put your all into him. And maybe you should have the courts put dad on the spot to his son threw college as well.
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Did you pray about this and ask God what you should do
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You can’t control your son’s thoughts. You can stop enabling him when he doesn’t appreciate it. Pay his tuition, let him work or find it somewhere else. You have other children to consider. And at some point you might want to get your own degree!
If your son is an adult, I’d lay it all out for him. Every detail of what has happened. When they’re children, you may need to gloss over some stuff for the sake of their relationship with the other parent. Once they’re adults, lay it bare.
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Duck it. That’s your money too. It’s not your fault he lost his butt. Time for baby boy to grow up… he’ll see one day. You don’t have to fight anyone but for yourself.
Stand your ground for sure! It’s not you holding anything over his head. He may have a new family but you have a family as well, doesn’t matter how well off you are. It was court ordered too.
It sounds like your son is still young. Let it go. He’ll either come back to you when he sees what hus father is all about. Any good Christian man wouldn’t talk about the mother of his children like that or put children in the middle of it. The mom in law needs to reevaluate or go back to church cause a good Christian woman would tell her son what needs to be done right and in the eyes of the lord do it correctly. Just because he has a “new” family doesn’t mean the old fam should have to suffer from this guys stupidity. Y’all settled it in court he needs to pay you. God sees all and him and his so called Christian mother will soon see the fiery pits of hell. Being a good person/Christian means to serve the lord and to be kind to everyone to make the bad things right again. To make people be accountable for they’re actions. He owes you plain and simple. Just cause your comfy doesnt mean your children couldnt use that money. Some men are morons.
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You need that money for your retirement, because he didn’t pay anything for your SS.
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Stand You Ground…Your Ex is a Coward for Trying to use your Son to Manipulate the Situation in his Favor by Guilt Tripping you.
Set Your Son Straight on Who’s paying All His Bills!!
Make him Get A Job & Teach him the Value of the All Mighty Dollar & Seeing Money don’t Grow on Trees & Once Seeing how hard Earned Money it Made He’ll Understand Better & Appreciate Your Help & See the Sacrifices You Made for His Father( & Realize Your Not Punishing Ex Your Owed That & Then Some)& Ex Needs to Learn Some Respect & Apologize to You All.
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Just keep loving the son, but take care of you, because kids go their own way anyhow. Everyone I know right now has a child that is alienated from them.
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He owes you that debt from before he ever started his new family. He made his choices. I would not forgive the debt. Your oldest son is an adult and he can make his own choices, however I feel it’s more responsible to teach him that his father’s obligations don’t just disappear. He chose to blow money. Not you.
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Stand your ground .
Your not selfish for what is suppose to be yours and your son doesn’t fully understand what you’ve been through. It’s one thing saying or telling someone what they see you’re going through or what seeing you’ve been through?. It’s another thing for yourself actually having to go through it and finally feel like the dues are being paid.
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Stand ur ground Plus if u ever get tht money back can always help the 2 youngest one colleage
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Stand your ground!!! When we choose to give in to people and situations like this the only thing we are doing is telling people our boundaries are imaginary. Your son needs a wake up call and hopefully one day he learn a valuable lesson in all of this about how to treat people properly as well as keep his word! But if not, that’s on him as an ADULT (which you should stop paying for!) and you can’t live your life trying to please or appease everyone else. Best wishes for you in this. I hope you are able to see the whole picture and follow your heart.
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It won’t matter to your son. He will believe what he wants. You will always be the bad guy in his eyes. SO-Hold your ground. Take it to court and demand payment in full. Let him finance it with one of his cars or whatever. You need the money in the future. He made his bed, let him lie in it. Dead beat needs to pay up
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Stand your ground and let your son or his dad start paying his way in life!!
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Mama, Stand Your Ground! We as moms give up everything to raise our children!!! You have supported this man through your marriage and by all means deserve some type of compensation!!! Your Ex is trying to manipulate the situation by bringing your child into the situation. Be strong mama 
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Well for starters, stop paying your sons bills, what’s that teaching him. You’re enabling his bad behaviour. So what’s the guarantee if you give your ex a pass that your son won’t find another reason not to talk to you. Wake up. Don’t give in, you’re entitled to that money. Tell your ADULT son to grow up.
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Stand your ground!! Tell your adult child that from now on you are not paying his school bills, his father is. I can tell you it will shut him up.
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I’ve been there! DONT LET IT GO! HE will show your son true colors in the end. You’ve offered payment plans- and done everything to do the right thing- in time, your son will come around. It may take time, but he will. My son regrets letting his dad screw me. Took 10 years- but it happened. Ask your son is his Dad going to assume his college expenses? And aid him in the future? What about his siblings? Who’s going to take care of their college?
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If you let this go, what is the next thing you’re going to have to let go? Your son is an adult but he’s thinking with a child’s mind. Your ex has had a free pass for too long.
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Nope. He owes you what he owes you. Your son will figure it out eve tally. Sit down with him and give him the facts. Answer his questions, then let it go. Do NOT concede. Don’t roll over. You deserve closure AND your money.
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Stand your ground and make it know that your son will not disrespect you. His father is using him against you and that is toxic!!!
No way would my adult sons treat me that way. They don’t need my help, but they don’t disrespect either.
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Stand your ground eventually your son will see why. And if your paying everything for your son then stop tell him your dad wont pay and i cant afford it.
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Don’t let it go! You worked for it.
It’s rightfully yours.
Put it in savings for retirement when
you get it.
As for your son, go in a purchase together doesnt have to be real big tv, phone, game system.
Let him pay for half of it then sell it or take it back to the store for a refund.
You get the money, tell him you sold it,
when he wants his money back.
Tell him to let it go.
It’s not that big of a deal.
See his reaction and let it sit with him for a few days or week.
Then give him his money back and ask him if its right to work so hard for something, get it, just to have ripped away.
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I wouldn’t let it go. I would hope that someday when your son realizes what the real world is like he will understand your position. Also, I agree with the above. If your son is an adult start making him act like one. Let him realize what it’s really like to have to pay bills and how fast money goes when you have bills to pay. Have a sit down and tell him that you hope someday he can take a step back and see the bigger picture.
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