You dont need permission but just tell him your going to vist family and he doesnt get a say nor do you need to ask to go put tour foot down
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Yeah ummm he’s obviously crazy if you can’t see your family
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conversation is the key. You need to sit down and talk to him about how you are feeling. Tell him that you want to see your family more. If you see his family, tell him that you go see his family but you do not get to see yours and you would like to. Tell him that you love him with all your heart but you believe that your children really need to see your side of the family to have a full life because your mother will not be around forever.
do you have kids?
if not, i would make that hour trip right to my mamas & never look back.
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No you shouldn’t have to ask him permission to go visit your family. Does he like your family? Does he get along with your family? Did you want to move or did he make it a huge deal and said if u don’t move he’ll leave u etc? The reason I’m asking is because any man who makes a woman ask permission to go anywhere is usually controlling in other ways too and that is abuse sad to say.
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Is he controlling in other ways or just with visiting your family?
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Geez I remember being married and having to ask for permission to go and see my mum who lived an hour away. I actually listened to him too which is totally the wrong thing to do. His reasoning was he didn’t want to be eating dinner any later than usual or that we were saving for a holiday. When he spent $2,500 of our holiday savings to buy a dirt bike and spent the next 6 weekends out riding with mates instead of with myself and our 3 children reality hit me that he was all for himself. As soon as I started doing what I wanted to do without getting permission our marriage fell apart. He wasn’t a man he was a boy, just like your husband. Leave and don’t turn back!!
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Does he ask you for permission if he is going to go see his family and be gone all day? If it is a two way street then yes. In marriage I don’t feel that you ask permission but you let your spouse know what you are doing and ask if they are ok with it as a mutual respect. You should just talk to him and explain how you feel and see where he is coming from as well. If he is stressing over finances maybe see what you can do to help ease his mind. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. I wish you the best of luck!
Go visit your mother when ever you want. You don’t need his permission.
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You never need anyone’s permission to visit family, especially close family. Like ever.
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He sounds like a control freak and its only going to get worse get yourself and your kids out of there
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U moved over an hour away and u see ur family once a month!? And he’s upset over that. RED FLAG!! Sounds controlling. He should not be upset you see your mother. That is your mother and ur kids grandmother! If I lived 2 Hours away I’d be visiting my mom like every weekend or at least every other weekend, without a fight.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I need permission from my husband to visit my family? - Mamas Uncut
Ignore him. Go and visit your family wherever u like. Even if its more than once a month. And if he continues to fight with you about it tell him you will report him as abusive and controlling and that he is affecting your mental and emotional health.
This is control.
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The fact that you have to come here and ask shows you know the answer to this question… Take it from someone who knows, that’s narcissism at its finest, next comes guilt and being blamed for everything that goes wrong in his little world. No girl, just no. Control like this only increases.
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You shouldn’t need permission to visit family, and an hour isn’t all that far honestly. If he is isolating you from family and friends who are not a danger to you, then that is abuse. These are red flags.
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Go see your family any time you want!!! Let him know you’re going, but do not ever feel like you need permission!!! You are a grown woman and it’s not ok for him to act like that towards you. If he demands to give you permission in order for you to do things then that is a problem!
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You do not need your husbands permission to go see family. He sounds controlling. A simple “hey next Saturday I’m going to take the kids and go see my family” should be fine. Why does he have such a problem with it? It really bot that expensive to drive there and back.
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Nope and if mine tried this he’d find himself divorced, I just travelled 12 hours to see my family and take care of unhandled business my husband stayed home with my kids (his step kids), he doesn’t own me, I let him know so he could plan accordingly due to work schedule but I planned the trip to make things easier.
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The fact you are asking this question scares me for you.
Asking permission and letting him know plans are two different things.
Go see your family and take some time to think about if you are in an abusive relationship. 
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You never need permission from your husband for anything. If you do, then he is extremely controlling. There’s a difference between making plans and running it by him so you can plan accordingly. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
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Talk about a controlling spouse! That is your family and you shouldn’t have to ask permission. Don’t allow him to take you from your family! No man is worth that because family is everything.
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You don’t need permission from your husband to do anything! Just tell him when you are going & then do it! Beware! He really sounds controlling. That could signal potential abuse in the future.
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. When you leave today, pack a bag. Don’t worry about anything you might be leaving you can replace it. If you have a pet take it. AND DONT EVER LOOK BACK! Do not take his calls, if he comes looking for you don’t see him run, run for your life. Oh and stop by the bank and withdraw enough money to see you through. Don’t take all or even half, but take you some money. File for divorce ASAP. He will never change for the better it will only get worse. Know that if you stay your life will be a living hell, no exceptions.
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This seems a bit controlling on the husbands part. I think it’s reasonable to say “hey I’m going to see my family for the day on XX, would you like to join?” Or something alone those lines and leave it at that.
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Nope you don’t need permission to see your family. When we go see family we either go with each other or we go separate. We typically go together though. Hell, my husband tried to send me last weekend to go see his nana with the kids cause he didn’t want to go. 
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I can see giving him a heads up, but he should be understanding and know that you want to see them. Maybe set aside a date night once a month also and try spending time together. You may already be doing that but it just seemed quality time may be his love language. I hope he can come to understand your needs 
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Oh hell no! Life is too short! Money will always be a thing that most everyone wishes they had more of, but family is much more important and won’t always be here. If your husband can’t understand that then he needs to go
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Go! Usually the man is afraid you will say something that he does that others will tell you “that’s not right”. He is a spoiled jersey if he acts this way cuz it is your family and always will be. (Lived thru this myself)
You definitely need his approval and permission if you want to maintain a 50s style household where he treats you more like a child than the equal partner in marriage that you should be, I’d tell him to kick rocks and start working on some respect for you.
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No you don’t need permission. And it’s a little concerning that he never wants you to go even though you see them so little. Almost like he’s trying to cut you off from them? Maybe I’m being way dramatic but that’s a big red flag for me.
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1-No, you are an adult and don’t need permission from him to do anything. 2- This is an early red flag that things will only get worse and if you let him dictate your actions now, especially regarding time with your family, it WILL get worse. It ALWAYS gets worse. 3- You need to figure out what his real issue is and why he doesn’t want you to go and why he doesn’t want to go. If he has no real reason, he’s controlling and that converts too easily into mental/emotional abuse, and so on. Are there other warning signs? Comments about your appearance, housework, time out of the house, parenting skills? Otherwise, he may have issues with anxiety. This can lead to him not wanting to be alone, not wanting to travel or be around other people, not being able to elaborate on his reasons for not wanting you to go, etc. If it’s anxiety, he needs to get some help before it gets worse. Because it will. Go when you want and ask him to go with you, but if he won’t or doesn’t want you to go, ask him to give you a reason why he has an issue. If it’s “I just don’t want (you) to go.” that’s not good enough. You guys need to talk. This is a major MAJOR red flag and you need to figure out what kind of red flag it is.
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I live about 2 hours from my parents with my husband and our two boys, I never ask permission to go see my parents I simply make sure my husband doesn’t have anything planned for the weekend I’m going and then just let him know him know what my plans are. We’ve been married almost 10 years.
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I live across the country from my family. My husband and I were planning to go visit this year with all 3 of our kids and the 4 of our dogs. We ended having a veterinary emergency that took all of the funds we set aside for the trip. My husband was ready to pull a loan from his 401k to send our kids and I to see my family while he stayed behind with our dogs and worked. I told him no.
Its one thing to check in and go over plans to ensure what you want to do doesn’t interfere with what he may have planned etc. But to have to wait around for permission is a little much.
Have you considered that maybe he wants to go on these trips with you, as a family?
You don’t need permission just a head ups to him. Like sweeties I’m going to visit my folks for such and such time and then just go
Are you 12? No you don’t need “permission.” He is narcissistic and controlling. Get in your car and go! Text him on your way to let him know where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Pack for a few days so if he wants to act out you can stay away longer. He will control you until you show him you can’t be controlled. Let him know you’ll be home when he wants to act like a husband instead of fathering you like a teenager.
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Nope he’s a narcissist. I just went thru that. Now divorced but that’s ok. I still got my family.
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No you shouldn’t have too ask. He should be more understanding
Tell him We are going to see my family .he will than say you go i dont want to go .
It’s your family u have a right to go visit them u don’t need permission
Hell no. A simple notice, couple days to a week ahead, is plenty.
Sounds like a red flag to me.
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Doesn’t he see his family?
You don’t need “permission” for a damn thing from your husband. He doesn’t own you sweetheart
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This is abuse and control. A heads up is sufficient. You said your drive is about a little over an hour away? That cost next to nothing. He’s making excuses for his control issue. You should go and stay because this is going to get worse. Try not responding when you’re gone, just quick replies, no fighting.
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Your grown, you don’t need permission. I would suggest maybe invite him, he could be hurt he’s not invited? Might feel like well shit why can’t I see her family ain’t I family ?
But on the female side not the equal side, if he’s abusive and yes this is considered to be controlling nature pack leave and stay with your mama with the kids
Just do what makes you happy
Family is very important God bless
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I need permission from my husband to visit my family? - Mamas Uncut
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I need permission from my husband to visit my family? - Mamas Uncut
I understand giving him a heads up so he knows where you are of course, but he should be okay with you going that is your family! He shouldn’t try to isolate you away from them! Toxic behavior!
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Absolutely not! You don’t need permission! If my partner tried to stop me from seeing my family when I wanted to he wouldn’t be my partner for much longer!
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I would go visit…and not go back…no one has right to dictate what a grown woman can and can not do.
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Absolutely not. Unless there’s some underlying reason for his being upset that isn’t being stated here, there should be no reason whatsoever why any person need permission to go see their family, or to visit anyone else for that matter. You’re a separate human being, & this sounds like extremely controlling behavior.
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In my experience the controlling personality only gets worse with time. Sounds very narcissistic to me. You should not need permission only healthy discussion about spending money and maybe your family would help pitch in for costs of traveling if that is an issue.
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My parents also live an hour away from me and my boyfriend, but he never fights me on seeing them because they’re my family. I see them maybe twice a month. If you’re only seeing them once a month I don’t know what your husband’s main concern is. You might need to talk with him and ask him straight up why he’s always fighting you to see your family. And don’t let him use the money excuse. Some partners use that as an excuse to control their partners.
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there must be more to the story as why he doesn’t want you to go visit!communication is key-control is red flag!kids need all the family time they can get!
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I always tell my husband were I go, but for security reasons.
One time I said “Should I go with Jenny on a walk” and before I corrected myself his response was “Since when do you ask for my permission?”
We have been married for 25 years and I’ve never felt the need to ask permission because I am not his property.
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Invite the family to stay over …. He’ll soon change his tune 
But on a serious note , no one has the right to tell you who you can and can’t see. Give him the curtesy heads up, then go! Enjoy your trip!
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Unless you are encroaching on another commitment you don’t need your husbands permission for anything. You are an individual that’s part of a team. As long as your responsibilities to the team are fulfilled you have every right to do things you enjoy.
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You tell him: they are my family. You knew that when you married me. Just because we are married doesn’t make my family less important. Therefore, I will continue to regularly visit them.
His reaction to that is HIS problem. Refuse to buy into his strange issues with you visiting family.
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Why do you need to ask for permission? When a relationship gets to that point it’s either because they want to be in control and that in itself is bad. And other because there’s no trust or because they themselves are doing something. So if I were you I would really think of if you should stay or leave. This is toxic behavior.
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I guess I wonder if he’s possessive of you in other ways. But if not, I would tell him to stop the drama you’re not asking permission and you’re going whether he likes it or not, and you don’t want to hear about it anymore.
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You should let him know your plans, and time frames. However, you are an adult, and do not need his permission to visit your family. Ask yourself, why is he angry, why does he pick a fight? Does he have control issues, and how much of your time, is he actually controlling? Once a month, to visit your family, hummm, he has issues!
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Huge red flag🚩. Isolation is control and manipulation. It only gets worse. My last relationship was like that. We were together 13 years. He tried to control everything including visiting my family, going to school and everything I did around the house even. Take a look to see if he is doing this in other areas more covertly. He probably is. You should probably go back to your family.
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Telling him where you’re going is fine. Asking for permission is not. Why did he move you so far away from your support network? That’s a red flag to me. Asking permission is a red flag, his grump reaction is a red flag.
This controlling behaviour isn’t good.
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Jesus, you need to run away as fast as you can. This ia controlling and the start if isolation. He isn’t your parent, nor or you a child that needs to ask for permission. I hope you realize how utterly ridiculous that is!
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Out of respect try and plan the trips if possible and put them on the calendar as a heads up “i’m going to visit family” on such and such day. But by all means…do not let him ever control when you see your family. PERIOD. Huge RED FLAG. Stop controlling behavior before it starts.
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Nobody would ever tell me I couldn’t go see my family or my friends! Out of respect you should of course tell him you are going, offer for him to join, make sure there were not already other plans etc…but permission?..no ma’am
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Does he need your permission to visit his family? Tell him your plans, and go enjoy family time. Never, ever allow a partner to cut you off from family and friends, as that’s the first step in them isolating you from people. This toxic behaviour leads to gaslighting and other narcissistic behaviours. Do not ignore your female instincts, they are there for a reason.
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Question, she said she doesn’t drive the way at once? Is there a medical issue why? If not I say it is short drive so go and let your kiddos visit grandparents that won’t always be there. She also needs to talk to him about this issue before it gets to far and she can’t get out of the situation.
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It sounds like he has a control issue. My wife does not ask me to do anything, unless I am included in her plans. Then she is asking me if I want to go, which most always I do. Keeping each other in the loop is good for safety concerns. I do like to know where she is going but that’s just a protective stance. Dude sounds toxic. Live your life.
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Too much control dear from hubby, could be a way to isolate you from your family and the beginning of something sinister, like manipulative behaviour😞
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Definitely is a control issue! RED FLAG here! You should never have to ask anyone to visit your own family. Girl, you need to start informing everyone you know about this, bcuz this not right. I see alot more domestic abuse/violence coming in your future if you don’t make some drastic changes soon.
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For you to even ask such a question tells me you are already allowing yourself to be put in a very vulnerable position. While I agree, it is a good idea to let people know where you are in case of emergencies–this behavior by your husband is unacceptable. If this goes unchecked, you are only setting yourself up for even further situations where he will attempt to control your life. Put your foot down, tell him you will see your family with or without his approval. If he has a problem with that then you truly need to re-evaluate this relationship. It appears, from what I am reading, that you are dealing with someone with underlying narcissistic tendencies…and be assured, if that is true…alienating you from your family will only be the first in a long line of his manipulative little games. His actions are nothing short of toxic behavior.
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If you start letting him control you with this situation it will eventually end up with other things. Tell him in advance when you are going. If he chooses to get mad that’s his problem
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Do Not let a man shelter you from your family. That is a sign of wanting to control you… It is not healthy.
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Why are you asking permission to begin with? You want to bring your kids to see family, you go. He’s your husband not your father. He doesn’t control you
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You should advise him of what your plan is so he knows where your going but anyone who refuses to let you see family may have issues of their own they need to get help for.
Let him know your going and taking the kids and that it’s a day thing and you’ll message him out if respect when you arrive to let him know you got there safe and let him know when your leaving to come home ( just in case anything happens )
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Permission? No. But letting him know when you are going and for how long is polite and necessary and as long as it is not interfering with previous plans. He is not your boss, he is your partner.
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I agree with most comments on here. My first reaction was that he’s controlling. You shouldn’t have to ask him if you can go somewhere. Telling him your plans is considerate. Don’t let him isolate you.
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Your his partner not his property!!! All you u are entitled to give him is the heads up you are going out/visiting. He should be grown up enough to respect that and not act like an Infant.
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When I was younger I met someone like this. Made everything a fight, put me through years of abuse and trauma that I still deal with today…that was 9 years ago. Anyway, my point is that he made sure to isolate me from my friends and family. Definite red flag, my advice would be to get away. Granted I don’t know the dynamic of your entire relationship or any other details, but if he makes a fuss about this I can imagine he gives you a hard time about many other things (unnecessarily, as abusers do) as well.
Go see your family. You don’t need his permission.
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My wife and I live about an hour from her family and she knows she can go see them anytime she likes. She’ll even take the kid along most times. I’m often busy with work or projects at home but it doesn’t bother me at all when she goes to see them.
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Let him know but don’t ask him. I was married to a guy that had a big thumb on me and would get mad if I went anyplace. He was so insecure it was sickening. I worked with him and did everything with him. He got mad bc I went looking for a wedding dress with my mom and didn’t find one the first day so I had to have one made which I threw out the very next day. I wasn’t a happy bride that day and should of bowed out that day. It got worse so I left. My stomach used to turn on my way home from the store if I took too long. Thats when I said see ya. You shouldn’t have to put up with that
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I think that if you can’t trust your significant other then you shouldn’t be with that person. It goes both ways and visiting your family should not be a problem to you or them either.
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My hubby went to see his dad today he didnt ask permission nor should he. He asked if I wanted to go but I was busy catching up on work Id missed when I went out this afternoon to have my hair done … which I definitely did not ask permission to do. I went to my parents yesterday and didnt even tell him where i was going because it was the middle of the day and for half an hour he was working. Noone should have to ask for permission as an adult to go anywhere especially if its because theyre scared of an arguement this is coercive control, manipulation and isolating you from those whom love you and could help you. All a form of control to get you to do what he wants. When answering questions like this I always think would I want my child/ friend/ family member in this relationship and to put up with this? If the answer is no, then you should treat yourself with the same love and respect
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No I don’t think you need his permission to go see your family but I also think you should let him know you will be gone for the day. Hopefully if you treat his feelings with respect he will do the same. Good luck
Permission ? Wow that’s so controlling, he isnt your parent hes your equal partner. It’s against the law (in uk) to control another person seeing your friends of family or whoever. Red flag, big one! I hope you dont give in xx
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Does he act the same way about your friends? Does he complain about how you act when you return home? Does he find more and more things for you to take on at home keeping you busy and therefore unable to spend time with others? Please be aware this is classic passive aggressive behavior which usually escalates to verbal and eventually psychological or physical abuse. If you allow this to continue it will surely escalate and put you in danger. I have been in the exact same situation. Please know you do NOT deserve this. You are NOT a bad person for wanting to spend time with family or friends. If he cannot respect you as an individual he will not respect you as his “slave”. Take care of yourself.
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That’s very controlling behavior. It’s important that your spouse knows your whereabouts, but something as simple as visiting family and having the children around their other family members, that shouldn’t be a reason for a fight.
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We moved to Essex from the Wirral 6 years ago, I’m separated now but I NEVER asked my kids dad for permission to visit family, although I did tell him the dates I’d booked tickets for… He was always fine with it because I always take them to see his mum and their big brother too. This sounds like he’s attempting to isolate you, you should never need permission to go anywhere nor have to ask! A relationship is equal, you should be able to tell him your plans without fearing his attitude, this stuff will only get worse
Sending love 
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This isn’t Gilliad. You should be able to go wherever you want.
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You are allowed to do whatever you want without asking permission. Don’t put up with this for one more minute.
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When you have to get permission you are no longer his equal. So there really is no sense being married.
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If my husband told me that I can’t go see my family, he would have no teeth 
. Considering we visit his family and they live out of the country!
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I lived this life, it ended in me leaving my marriage and it’s control isolation and alienation 
It’s not easy nor is it a life you deserve.
For me, it definitely hasn’t been an easy… my separation is going on 7 years of absolute hell😢
Is he, controlling in other ways to you? You can pm me if you ever need support. Take care, of you and your children
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ABSOLUTELY NOT. I understand letting him know where you’re going, just so he knows. But you should not have to ask to go visit your family. That’s YOUR family and he shouldn’t deprive you of being with them. Of course, i dont know of additional circumstances, but… still no.
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NO, NO, NO! He is not your parent. Mine would pick a big fight with me right when I would try to leave. He was trying to control me. Now I tell him I am going. I say to him, I am not asking you, I am telling you.!
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My ex used to fight with me every day for going to my parents house every day. My mom passed away less than 2 years into our relationship and my dad passed away a year later. You never know what the future holds. I miss my parents but I don’t miss him. I wouldn’t take back the time spent with my parents for one second.